Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Tweed Jacket
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
This tweed blazer from Aqua is screaming fall so loudly that they’ll probably hear it in Stars Hollow. I like to wear this chocolate brown color with neutrals like camel and ivory, but I’d also love to see it with a lipstick red, light pink, or olive green.
The blazer is $138 at Bloomingdale’s and comes in sizes XXS-XXL.
Sales of note for 9/26/25
- Nordstrom – 7400+ new markdowns! Also: 6x points on beauty.
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale, plus $20 style steals
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – Sale now up to 50% off PLUS an extra 10% off
- J.Crew – Extra 30% off sale styles, plus up to 50% off layers they love
- J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything + extra 20% off $125+
- Nordstrom Rack – UGG up to 40% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance sales
- Soma – 6 panties for $36 — readers love these no-VPL panties (and these PJs)
- Talbots – 40% off one item, plus 30% off everything else
- White House Black Market – 30% off all full-price dresses, and $50 off $200+ purchase
I am going to have one day free in Hartford next week. Any suggestions of things to do? Not seeing much on Google except the Mark Twain house and Wadsworth museum.
It’s fall here, so walk through Elizabeth Park and look at the trees. Get an apple cider donut while they’re seasonal, too
trinity college is beautiful and a nice walk if you’re into that sort of thing…
There is a very, very old cemetery (the ancient burying ground) that was pretty cool to walk through.
Get out of town, ha
Basketball hall of fame in Springfield is a long shot if you happen to be into that.
West Hartford is really cute if you venture out of the city. See what’s playing at Cinestudio at Trinity?
I like this! Is this more of a jacket vs a blazer? But also it is cardi-adjacent / soft “suiting”, so I think it would be an indoor piece that you could also use as an outdoor piece (inside vs outside clothes is an area I struggle with in the shoulder seasons). Yes? No?
Indoor piece that adds a bit of warmth when you’re outside.
I love these types of jackets and wear them regularly at work. Not necessarily in place of a blazer, but as a third piece. I usually get these at White House Black Market.
If you are interested, take seriously the notation that the jacket runs small. I purchased several similar Aqua jackets in the spring and had to return for sizing. Very nice pieces, though.
this is either an indoor piece or an “intentional layers” styled dressy weekend look. Not the kind of jacket you would just throw on over anything to serve as a coat.
in general stores will advertise things in groups of (1) blazers & jackets vs. (2) coats & outerwear – this clearly belongs in category 1.
I’d hold out for natural materials. 100% polyester here!
yes definitely outdoor too. i think it’s adorable but i know that it would read cropped on me, my proportions are off.
I’m wearing a pre-COVID suit jacket today and it feels so tiny. It wasn’t sold as cropped (but this is a petite, but I’m actually short). But the sleeves end a few inches above my wrist. Was that intentional at the time? IDK. At least the cuffs don’t get ink crud on the right cuff when I mark up documents. It feels not-2025. It looks OK.
And don’t get me started on suiting pieces worn separately. This was sold as “suiting pieces” and there were pants. The fabric was stretch wool and the pants were LINED. But I swear the cleaners shrunk them because when I tossed them, they had gotten too tight AND the lining was hanging out a good half inch below the hem of the pants, so even if I got larger (entirely possible), the lining was just hanging out. I could see the pocket lining against my butt. Not a good look.
Yes, bracelet and 3/4 length sleeves were super popular. I decided I didn’t want to feel like I was always cold or look like my clothes shrunk. I have since focused on either various short sleeve around the elbow OR long sleeve lengths and i feel much more comfortable
Petty annoyance–do you know those tv screens at Exxon gas stations that play you ads? And “historically” you’ve been able to push one of the buttons to make it stop talking? Exxon appears to have disabled those buttons and I am furious. Considering finding new gas stations.
I think ultimately I’m just tired of being marketed to all the time when I just want to live my life.
I agree these are a ridiculous intrusion. I got an EV for reasons not relating to getting gas but I have to say not pumping gas is a great fringe benefit.
+1 that this is a great fringe benefit of an EV. OP, that sounds awful and I would be super annoyed.
Totally agree. I hate those ads and I love not having to pump gas anymore. It’s so easy to plug in in our garage and charge overnight.
I heard that if you carry around a headphone jack you can plug it into tvs to make them be quiet.
You aren’t wrong. I can barely stand going to a baseball (MLB) game anymore, for all the constant blaring of ads, flashing and scrolling screens, and product placement on every.single.thing – even the screens giving information on the players. My brain is craving quiet. How do we start a revolt?
There are two gas stations on my regular route that I avoid at all costs because of this.
I do find that sometimes if you hit all of the buttons in order, top down on the left, then top down on the right, that will mute the noise. Not always, and if the noise doesn’t stop I will end my session, pay for whatever half gallon made it into my tank, then drive to a sane location down the street and finish filling up.
This is one more thing I love about Costco. Peace while pumping gas.
I can deal at gas stations because they’re quick, but I can’t stand blasting TV in the doctor’s office or the airport waiting area. I never watch news at home (only read) and have a pathological hatred of the Today Show and just HATE running into either during what are already mildly stressful situations. I can’t just put on noise-cancelling headphones if I’m there taking care of a kid or accompanying someone.
Do you ever ask if they will turn it off? I do and occassionally they will comply. I had a battle with Planet Fitness to get the music turned down because it aggravates my brother who is schizoaffective. The manager has instucted all staff to turn it way down when we are there.
My sister’s membership to her gym was revoked when, as the only patron on a very early Sunday morning, she muted the TVs.
Move to NJ!
Omg there is a tunnel at Dulles airport which you need to go through to get to the United gates, and there is an ad playing on repeat at a very high volume constantly. It is the most obnoxious thing ever! I always think when I go through there, that there is no other country in the world where you’d be forced into a similar experience – and the irony is that in many other countries (EU, Canada, etc.) airports are private, while in the US they’re all public!
Interesting. I live in the Southeast and use the Harris Teeter (grocery store) gas stations because I often get up to 30 cents off a gallon from my grocery shopping. They don’t play ads. Try them if you have one in the area.
Co-sign, but the participating station is close to DH’s work, so he gets the gas discount. I have a hybrid CRV (love!), so anything gas-related isn’t a huge nuisance item for me.
Get an EV! I LOVE never going to a gas station.
I’m so ADHD, I don’t even notice these lol
Yeah, this kind of constant noise (visual or audio) annoys me too. Add it to the list of reasons I prefer taking rideshares vs. taxis — SO many of them have those awful TV screens in the back, and having to tap around the inevitably tacky screen to figure out how to shut it up feels gross too.
If a gas station autoplays ads at me, I don’t buy gas there any more, simple.
gas stations i can live with but I haaaaate restaurants that seem fancy and then they have a big sportsball game playing on a big screen tv. no thank you.
This is funny to me…while I know what you’re talking about, it barely registers on my list of things to be annoyed about. I guess I just tune it out while I’m pumping gas! I tune out the majority of ads in general, I suppose…or maybe I just have a very high threshold for annoyances!
It’s funny how we’re all so different :)
When trying to figure out inclusive classroom design, sensory seeking vs. sensory avoiding are two of the hardest needs to reconcile. And neither is particularly rare!
Gosh imagine pumping your own gas like a peasant
OMG I so agree.
Any favorite lentil soup recipes? Going to try to add that to my lunch rotation. Bonus if slow cooker…
Haven’t tried it yet, but my sisters are raving about the tomato and lentil soup that was just featured in NYT cooking.
Lentils generally cook too quickly for a slow cooker, in my experience. The NYT red lentil soup from Melissa Clark is as amazing as the hype. https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016062-red-lentil-soup
I love dal. No particular recipe to recommend, but its one of my favorite ways to eat lentils.
https://www.food.com/recipe/indian-lentil-soup-dal-shorva-132397
this is in my monthly rotation when it’s soup time. Sometimes I throw in a can of tomatoes or coconut milk, and sometimes I don’t. Assembly is 2 minutes, then simmer on the stove or in the crockpot. I also like that all the ingredients are shelf stable, so it’s a good fix for no fresh foods in the house.
Yesssss I love lentils. I love soup. This is the perfect time of year for it. I particularly like these two recipes – but pay attention to the comments. There is good feedback there.
https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1021588-smoky-lentil-stew-with-leeks-and-potatoes#notes_section
https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1021681-lentil-soup-with-smoked-sausage-and-apples
i make this once or twice a winter and freeze it for food prep. it’s tastier with chicken broth but have done it with water. different kinds of tomatoes, it’s pretty forgiving…
https://www.eatingonadime.com/slow-cooker-lentil-soup-recipe/
Budget bytes tomato lentil soup
Trader Joe’s lentil vegetable soup is excellent. One can is enough for lunch.
split pea!
Oooo I love split pea soup so much.
I like the Cookie and Kate one, although I usually use more kale (or spinach if I have some wilting in my fridge).
https://www.theppk.com/2013/03/smoky-tomato-lentil-soup-with-spinach-olives/
Ina Garten’s lentil soup! It’s great.
Thank you all for the great suggestions yesterday on what to make for a dinner party on Friday for foodie friends. Discovered they avoid gluten, which eliminated some options, but going with the NYT salmon nicoise – thank you to whoever suggested it.
For an appetizer, was going to make whipped feta with roasted cherry tomatoes, but now wondering what to serve it with. What are really good gluten free options for a dip like this (other than veggies, of course). It’s been a while since I tried GF crackers, but in my memory they weren’t great. Am hoping they’ve improved vastly by now. Any specific types of brands you recommend?
Instead of crackers would you be able to serve thin sliced roasted potates or thick cut potato chips? Not every brand/flavor of chips is gluten free but a majority are.
This is a good idea, or celery or carrot sticks or sliced radishes or cucumbers… yum
Blue Diamond Nut thins are tasty. You can also do rice crackers.
not to get off topic and it’s nice that you are trying but honestly this is why i rarely entertain at home for people who i am not related too. it’s a little of work….
as I noted yesterday, normally I love this part – I love the planning and putting together of a menu, the preparation, and the execution. I’m just super tired after a wild couple of months, so going the easy route. This is a really easy recipe and normally I’d cut up and toast a baguette and forget about it, but the GF threw me a bit.
To each their own, I love entertaining at home. My tip to OP is to develop your own signature style, don’t try to do what you think your guests are into other than considering dietary restrictions and preferences.
Counterpoint: I love cooking for friends with food restrictions. They’re often embarrassed about having to ask for special accommodations, and they’re used to getting mediocre one-offs, so it brings me a lot of pleasure to provide a meal that doesn’t feel like a compromise. It’s also a fun creative challenge to find recipes that work around the food restrictions. For example, polenta is a great GF option that can sub in for a lot of pasta dishes. Smitten kitchen has a fantastic vegan chocolate cake. Etc.
Still a veggie, but you can char those little sweet peppers that come in a bag (red and orange) in a little oil on an iron skillet and serve them with whipped feta, and your friends will love you even more. There are several recipes online for this combo. I use one from Southern Living forever ago, but if you have your dip, any of the recipes will give you guidance on the charring technique.
Honestly, no, not any that I would recommend, especially for sharing with someone who can eat gluten. I’d dip the veggies or just put it on my plate and eat it with a spoon.
I think it’s probably possible to make a decent GF cracker since they’re not exactly a high protein flour kind of thing, but commercial brands really over rely on bland starches.
(And I’m in no way suggesting you try making them! I’m just expressing frustration with commercial offerings usually being bland and overpriced and just generally not worth it. They’re also often less nutritious than wheat based products, so dietitians don’t really recommend them either.)
PS. I will check out some of the options others are mentioning though! Nut based sounds promising to me for something that’s not pretending to be wheat and failing.
I love Nut Thins, hint of salt. I keep them on hand for a friend with celiac disease but love them so much they have become my go-to cracker.
Yes to Nut Thins. They are good enough that you don’t need any regular crackers for the gluten-eaters.
Same!!
tortilla chips!
Trader Joe’s has some great GF crisp flatbreads. They’re larger rectangles, packages like a brick. I think they’re called Norwegian flatbreads or something similar. I’m not GF but I still buy them regularly
I take a page from Ina and Julia and just put out a bowl of chips with cocktails or champagne. If you want to go fancier, crème fraiche and caviar with potato chips and bubbles always is a hit. Lots of potato chip brands are GF and you can get good caviar at Whole Foods.
Simple mills almond flour crackers, absolutely grain free flat breads
I like the Simple Mills almond flour crackers too.
I like the Crunchmaster 6-Seed Multi-Grain Crackers (they sell them at Costco, not sure where else)
Nairn’s glutenfree rosemary crackers are great.
If you find glutenfree Ritz style crackers, those are more similar to the taste you expect than other kinds. In general the salty ones are better.
Corn tortillas is often glutenfree, but some can have wheat or traces.
I like Mary’s Gone Crackers. My BF reacted negatively to them plain, but with some dip said “oh, I get it.” So give them a fair shake with the dip
I like these too.
Our local family now includes adults who are T2 diabetics. We already have CKD among us, which I roughly understand for cooking. For upcoming holiday cooking, what are T2 friendly recipes that are also delicious (what’s the point of diet-friendly food if no one will eat it)?
This is a tricky question since there really isn’t one T2 diet that everyone with T2 follows. Some people are able to manage blood glucose with a low carbohydrate diet and metformin. Their diet may be surprisingly strict if they’re aiming for a normal A1C (much stricter than the ADA diet for example). Some people who need insulin or biologic drugs anyway may be able to liberalize their diet or focus mainly on portion control. And a lot of people accept the risks of eating how they want, or struggle to adhere to any diet when blood sugar is too unstable.
So I have recipes that I like for nut flour based turkey stuffing, starch-free gravy, fake potato dishes that use radishes and turnips instead, and stevia sweetened desserts. But they may be overkill for someone who is relying more on carb counting and watching portions.
This is 100% the time when I’d ask them if they have any restrictions they’d like you to keep in mind, and then make what you’d make based on their response. Maybe make sure you’re adding in fresh salad, green veg side (roasted brussels with balsamic glaze?), etc., but I’d let them make their own choices.
It sounds cheesey but there are so many diabetes organizations that also have recipes online and sell cookbooks and stuff like that. My library has a ton of “diabetes cookbooks”. I would start at those sources.
sweet potatoes (without the super sweet additives) are a healthier potato option that is very satisfying mashed/roasted etc that you can include along with more traditional mashed potatoes / stuffing.
Happy October from Chapter 13! I officially have 24 payments left. I see light at the end of the tunnel. Many people do not make it this far and I’m proud of myself for making it more than halfway. If you missed my Friday afternoon update, I landed a new job making $50k more than I was in government. However, it’s a big4 and I still have to make it through their background process. Please send prayers/thoughts/vibes/whatever you do as I’m going to need it. I made it through the federal government’s background check (with some questions where I had to provide mitigating factors), but I know private companies can be weird. I’m on pins and needles waiting and it will likely take a couple more weeks.
Please keep us posted – we are pulling for you.
Longtime employment lawyer here, and most companies do not fail to hire for having filed bankrtuptcy (in fact, the bankrtupcty code prohibits this, with some exceptions). It is truly role dependent. But I’ll be surprised if there is a knee jerk reaction by Big4 company – at a minimum, they should get back to you with questions, which I’m confident you can answer.
Since the primary reason Americans file for bankrtuptcy is medical debt, it makes me crazy when companies think that having filed for bankrtupcty is some kind of moral failure that means someone is not suitable for employment.
+1 – there also are protections in the bankruptcy code for employment. It doesn’t cover everything but precludes the knee jerk reaction.
Yay! If you made it through the federal clearance you are 99.9% fine. I assume you are being hired into the government advisory group? If so, all they care about is being able to bill for you. It’s only audit where they get picky.
Congrats! When you say many people don’t make it this far, what do you mean? And what happens to them?
Many people stop making their payments and the courts dismiss their case. This eliminates all protections and credit card companies, medical companies, etc. can (and will) start suing them for their balances. It becomes a huge mess.
Sending good thoughts and congrats on your success! And just remember if this role doesn’t work out, there are others and you will find the right place for you.
congrats on the new gig and good luck in the process!!
Can you remind (if you’re comfortable) what your debt looked like or debt to income to savings ratio looked like going into BK? Like why was BK and especially chapter 13 a good choice for you?
I’m …. Not exactly sure but let’s just say all options are on the table
Not super comfortable discussing numbers as it just puts me in a shame cycle, but I was sort of pushed into Chapter 13 by the lawyer at the time. I was quite young (still in my twenties). My income was too high to qualify for Chapter 7, so Chapter 13 was the only other option. Looking back, I wish I had not filed. Yes, it stopped the interest, but that’s about the only benefit I’ve received. I could have paid it off even with interest and I wouldn’t be in this situation that I’m in now. Most of the debt was accumulated while I was in school and putting books, supplies, and living expenses on credit cards. I did not have family help or access to government loans (parents refused to give me their SSNs for the FAFSA) so I had to pay for everything myself.
Ah thanks, helpful perspective. Thank you
Sending you huge good vibes!
Good luck! Rooting for you!!!
I used to work at a courthouse, but that was years ago. A family member is divorced from a guy going through personal bankruptcy with a new spouse. A guy from maybe a sheriff’s office came to family member’s house to serve some papers to . . . someone (maybe the person named in the deed of trust of the house being foreclosed on), not the ex or new spouse. Do sheriff’s officers still do service in civil actions? IIRC, service is usually by mail or process servers, not short-staffed court officers (who are also busy servicing DV orders and other court orders). Are foreclosures different? Also, family member is super-irate that the person “had a badge and a gun,” but IMO that is how those guys just are at work and if the weapon is hostered, this is not a fuss to go about making (these guys experience plenty of danger on the job and there isn’t a reason IMO to assume that a foreclosure of a residence won’t be a fraught attempt to serve someone). Any thoughts?
Yeah, sounds all normal (I get how it can feel disconcerting though!). Heck, if the police roll up to tell you your neighbor called to complain about your backyard bbq at precisely 9:01pm, they’ll be armed.
If I have a case where personal service is required, I just send it to the county sheriff’s office, yes. Even when I used private process servers, they still carried though.
In both mid-Atlantic states where I’ve practiced law, it’s common for a sheriff to serve. The plaintiff/plaintiff attorney has to pay for it. Civil actions are still a type of court order and process. Your comment is odd.
I don’t know how many addresses an attorney needs to give to the sheriff, but usually a business address or home address is what is used and not somewhere random. Maybe it is a mix-up that had the sheriff going to somewhere that isn’t where the ex lives or the foreclosed-on house or a work location (or that guy’s home address). Cut and paste error?
That’s pretty common in some places. I get that it’s scary but process servers are often armed.
some states only allow service via sheriff. It’s also very normal for them to go to other addresses looking for the person if they can’t be served at the first address provided. I’m a lawyer and it is still an odd feeling when the sheriff shows up to serve papers, but it’s totally normal!
This. Totally normal. And I have personally been awakened at 11pm by a marshall trying to serve a friend who does not live at my home. It is disconcerting, but also completely normal.
If being woken up at 11pm by a marshall to serve papers for someone else entirely is normal, I hope we’ll work on improving normal.
Agreed. No reason to not serve papers between 7 am and 9 pm.
This is very normal and sometimes required.
US Passport question. Eye choices are green, hazel, or amber. In my mind, green is an unambiguous green. For kiddo, talk to me if you have picked hazel or amber. My eyes are an unambiguous dark brown. Kiddo is what we called in Spanish class, “castano claro,” which is a great term IMO. It’s (now that I have the option) more amber (light brown?) than hazel (greenish cast with a lighter brown). Help me with my wording / color choice. Have any of you done amber? I feel that hazel is what people use for “lighter brown that isn’t green.” And should I check our state’s DMV so that all of her eventual ID pieces use the same word for eye color? The rest of us are all firmy browns.
i’m glad amber is a word! my husband has blue/green/grey eyes and keeps saying he has hazel eyes. it’s surprisingly ambiguous.
My husband has these eyes and had the nerve to put brown. No, my eyes are brown. His eyes are green more than any other color, but they change depending on weather, mood, shirt color.
I have light yellowish brownish eyes that look green sometimes depending on my clothes and the light and always put brown. If amber were in the drop down I would pick it, but I feel like I’m trying to be fancy if I write it in.
Hazel is extremely ambiguous, but I always think of it as more green/blue/grey/color-changing
if your kid’s eyes are light brown, just say brown and call it a day. I have never heard anyone use hazel other than green-brown.
Right. No one is getting picky about the shade of brown.
What? Brown is totally an option on the passport. My husband, kid and I all have brown eyes and our passports all say brown eyes.
Are they brown-brown though? I feel that light brown must totally be what amber is for. But IMO people use hazel for that concept.
girl, save your kids from future headaches (like their state doesn’t use amber) and pick the simplest color that goes with their eyes. In this case, that would be brown.
I’m dark brown, my husband is medium brown, my kid is light brown. All brown, imo.
If they wanted to restrict brown to dark brown, they would have said so.
I have green/brown eyes, and I have never worried much about picking one. I think my old license said green and my new one says hazel? Never caused a problem
But IMO for light brown eyes without much green, I would pick “Brown” or “Amber” not “Hazel”
My spouse and his identical twin brother have different eye colors on their driver’s licenses. One picked green, the other picked blue. They have the same eye color.
Ha, ditto! I have blue/green/grey eyes that will appear more blue at times and more green at others. I usually say green on docs and my brother who has the exact same eyes picks blue. Though he does work in finance so maybe that all tracks…
This is me as well, and I think anybody you asked would call my eyes blue. :)
I used to say green because I am vain and wanted it to be true, but they are predominantly just light, or rather non-brown.
Compared to my family members who actually have green eyes, it’s easy to see, but I can change mine with makeup to fake it! :D
I have very obviously, traditionally hazel eyes and my IDs all say “blue” because the lady at the DMV when I was 16 said they didn’t look hazel to her. I’m in my mid-40s and it has never been an issue.
I would just put brown. You are overthinking this.
Hazel is for people with green eyes that have brown spots. You want plain old brown for “lighter brown that isn’t green.”
Yeah, light brown is brown.
Reddit is a great source to see how other people classify eye color. Loads of pages where people have uploaded images of their eyes to crowdsource color name.
I would go with the broadest category that fits, as a simple solution that will make the most sense for most of the people who have reason to check.
I’ve been thinking about this issue lately…. my son has heterochromia; his eyes are blue outer rim, green center and brown just around the iris. They’re beautiful and unique but I have no idea what color to use for official documents. Will probably use hazel…
Same eyes, and I put blue.
That’s what this is called?!? I have a dark blue outer rim, green center, and a some brown specks around the iris. Good to know!
Same eyes! My family calls these hazel, so that’s what it says on my ID.
I have eyes like this, I always just called them hazel. No one looks closely enough for it to matter, I’m pretty sure. But y’all are making me feel less slighted that my husband was stumped when I asked him what my eye color was!
Castano claro = light brown. We have the same term in English. The phrase “ojos castanos claros” isn’t really a common thing to say. “Cafe” is used for brown like brown eyes. Castano is for hair color.
Just put brown.
I always thought that hazel eyes were a mix of green and brown.
Mine are sometimes green and sometimes brown depending on what I wear. License says hazel.
OMG LOL
This big generals meeting is … absolutely bananas. Trump and Hegseth are basically declaring war on several US cities.
I served during the rapey, hazing, substance abusing bad old days and hearing Hegseth talk about rolling back what progress has been made because it’s woke or whatever was tough. We shouldn’t have to fear our fellow service members. But, they’ve gone through with kicking the tr**s servicemembers out, so it’s no surprise to see this. Setting the stage to go after women and gay folks next. I’m ashamed of my country for so many reasons right now.
I think it is too late for this, but find myself wondering if there is a feasible way for me and my family to leave the country for good. We don’t have the resources some on this board do, so it just leaves me with a sense of vague dread about what sort of dystopian future we will soon be living through.
You likely won’t ever be allowed to legally work anywhere but here.
that is just not true. There are many countries in the EU that are ok hiring Americans, and are capitalizing on the fact that you guys are ruining your country and ecomony.
hegseth is so triggering in general. isn’t it a huge insult to military men to wear brown shoes with a navy suit, as in “hey guys this is just a casual meeting to me”?
as long as they don’t make the generals pledge allegiance to trump over the constitution like das fuhrer did i think i’m ok.
To your fashion question, no. Navy with brown shoes is the nice weather “uniform” of DC men. The attendees are all wearing the uniform equivalent of a basic every day suit. Did you want Hegseth in all black?
no — and it pains me beyond belief to say this but Trump looked better. navy suit, black well-shined shoes. seeing the two on stage together is what made me feel like hegseth was underdressed.
I get nervous when all of X are ever in one place and we are loudly talking about it. Bad plan.
This is a security nightmare. Let’s take the top of the chain of command, put them all in one place, and announce it in advance.
But then this is the guy who put operational details in a group chat and accidentally included a reporter. Operational security is clearly not his forte.
Don’t you think the generals are upset having to take orders from someone so low on the chain of command? I wonder…
Speaking with first-hand knowledge, they are.
Yes. Nearly everyone with any military experience knows he’s a complete sh*third who couldn’t even attain company command.
I served and wasn’t any great warrior but I own that and learned a lot about myself from my time in. He lacks that (or any) self awareness.
Made me feel way better about overpaying to go to St Lucia instead of Florida for spring break. He can’t just leave the 51st state garbage alone. Ugh.
Same, I’m going to Costa Rica this year instead of my usual Florida winter vacation. Between the 51st state and the tariffs, I’m done with discretionary travel to the US.
I’m thinking about retiring in a few months after I receive my annual bonus. I’ll be just shy of 64. The timing of my retirement isn’t great because I manage a large global project each year that ramps up a couple of weeks after bonuses are paid. It runs about 4 months and totally consumes my life during this period, and the bulk of my bonus is based on successfully completing this project.
I really like my boss, she’s been great, and I feel bad about leaving right before the project kicks off. She will quickly need to find someone else to run it, travel to the sites, deal with the inspectors, etc. If I give too much advance notice, I’m afraid I’ll be let go before bonuses are paid out since a condition of receiving the bonus is that one must be employed at the time bonuses are paid. I can totally see my grandboss terminating my employment just to save the bonus $$.
Ideally, there should be a program in place (and I’ve heard of this at other companies) where salary increases and bonuses are paid to future retirees, providing the retiree gives sufficient notice that allows the company to find and train their replacement. As a matter of fact, a friend at my current job is also retiring and her boss worked out an arrangement like this with her, but it’s a one-off thing and not a company-wide program.
I have a team, but no one can really step up to lead the project, even though I’ve been trying to prepare 2 people to take the reins. They don’t have the technical skills, and they are unwilling to learn or invest the time. One of them flat out told me “I don’t want your job”. In the meantime, I’ve prepared a detailed work program on what needs to be done for the project and I’ve come up with a couple of internal and external options that my boss can use to manage the project after I leave.
What would you do in this situation? Do I give notice a couple of weeks before the project kicks off or do I give longer notice and risk my bonus?
Wait to get the bonus then give notice. And don’t worry about it, I promise your boss is already anticipating your retirement. And don’t underestimate your team, I bet someone steps up and is grateful for the opportunity.
Put yourself first. Don’t jeopardize your bonus.
if your company is known for showing people the door early, then they can suffer the natural consequences – people giving shorter notice.
plus, if the bonus is tied to successful completion of the thing, but in fact gets paid out 8 months later, when the next thing is starting, that is the timing they picked and not your fault.
second. Companies earn “getting more advance notice of retirements” (and other planned departures, like “I’m starting grad school in 3 months” by consistently making it safe to do so. Companies who want the advantage of “save money with pre-bonus layoffs” forfeit the advantage of “people might give us more planning time”
Take care of yourself first always, so I would only give a few weeks notice since you think your grand boss may terminate you early to avoid paying a bonus. I did something similar at a past company.
As a data point, if someone retires after age 55 and after July 1, they get their bonus paid early the next year. It results in a lot of people retiring in July and was tough this year when I had someone in my org announce their retirement in June, and finding out shortly after that the org was instituting a hiring freeze. Still, it’s my job as a leader (and your bosses job) to make it work in these situations.
would you be open to a slow fade, like working part time in order to help train the new person? i did something like that when i resigned 4 months before a similar big project.
Does your boss know that no one on your team can or will step into your place? How does your workplace usually handle succession planning?
Do not give your notice until you get your bonus. Wait for your bonus to be paid, pull it out of your bank account, and then quit. Do not take the to risk of them letting you go early, especially as you’ve identified management may do that to save money.
When you quit, two things might happen. The company will figure it out, the project will get done, though probably not to your standard. Or, they will make you an offer to stay and complete the project and/or transition, and you decide then.
If there is no succession plan for your role (a critical project and an employee nearing retirement age), that is on them, not you.
Is there even a possibility they can claw back something from your bank account once it clears? That seems over the top. As a reference, i had a severance package that included a slight overpayment, and the company asked me for a check. I had to pay it back because they were also paying my COBRA for a year, so it was worth it, but otherwise, I don’t think they could have done anything.
What about RSUs? Once they vest, a lot of people quit. How could you stop a potential claw back? I don’t think it’s really feasible for them, but curious if I’m missing something.
Get your money. Absolutely do not give any indication you are leaving until that bonus has come through and you are sure it’s in your bank account.
If they want you to stay on, they’ll ask you to stay on, for another month or two even.
Exactly. If a company wants you to stay when you want to leave, they can pay a retention bonus.
Only give notice after you get the bonus. The ride off into the sunset, middle fingers up. Who cares about the project after that – not you! :)
If you died or were incapacitated, they would make do. If they decided to fire you for whatever reason, they would expect you to make do. Your first loyalty is to yourself. Take the money and run.
Give notice the day after the bonus hits your bank account.
I beat this drum endlessly: people at your company are paid big fat sums of money to have contingency plans. If they need a 64 year old to be alive, healthy, employed at that company, and going full tilt for 4 months straight in order for things to work, they have a problem.
No one should be indispensable. That’s poor succession planning.
I don’t know how to say this in a nice way, but GIRL, GET YOUR MONEY! The company will be just fine. You do NOT owe them a long notice. Give your retirement not after your bonus.
Sorry, meant give your notice AFTER your bonus
Tell me what kind of curling-iron/browdrying/thingamagiger I want for my hair, please! I have fine, straight (with a bit of wave) hair, to mid back, with some layers near the front. I’d like something to help curl the ends under a bit. Also, I’ve got some wiry grays so that, even though I color my hair, it doesn’t look as smooth and shiny as it did when I was younger; maybe something that can make it a bit smoother, too? I’ve got toddler twins, so most of the time I just fall sleep with wet hair and it looks fine, but not great, and gets stuck in a ponytail. I’d like something to help my hair look nice on the occasions when it needs to look more professional, like….this Saturday! (Before pandemic/kids, I had a bob, and did a daily blowdry with a round brush. But I’m not sure that’s still the best approach now that my hair is longer and grayer.) Thanks!
I use a heated round brush. I hate the process of giving myself a real blowout and my straight hair loses the shape quickly. The heated round brush is faster and quieter to use plus it lasts all day. You can give yourself a traditional blowout look or just smooth your hair and give the ends some direction.
l’ange 360 styler is perfect for this, blows hot air and smooths and twirls. Dae cactus fruit styling wand for the springy grays is great.
Is there a point past which you’d not change careers in retirement? I have a great job, but it has some significant issues with being able to continue it as my slightly older spouse retires and for lifestyle (it doesn’t do PT well). I’d love to work into my 70s/80s part time, health permitting and my family lives into their 90s. Assuming I could get into programs of interest and that funding it wouldn’t be an issue (can pay cash for in-state tuition), do people really want a newly-minted lawyer or nurse or what have you who is 60+? Would you ever get hired anywhere? Realistically, can you even get good at anything that late in life? [I would only want PT work at that point and would likely do a lot of it pro bono to help out an org at a higher level than my current skill set allows.] I don’t even know how you find a “second career career counselor for an older adult with significant work experience.” All of my prior schools were geared to launching young adults with interview prep and networking, not the world’s oldest new physical therapist with a CPA (or similar).
I would do nothing in retirement that required more school. I would open a store, a design business, consult, sit on a board, etc.
following with interest. i’m 50 and would not consider a new career because i feel like i would have very low returns, particularly if a new degree is involved.
I wouldn’t take on debt in retirement for school, but I can walk to a community college and would absolutely take classes, which are very inexpensive. I can’t audit classes b/c I just don’t prioritize it, but I’m competitive with myself to want to get an A even if it is of no consequence.
I went to law school with a retired doctor. IDK if he was ever planning to practice vs use it in his business / investing pursuits. It’s an interesting field. I can’t see doing it in reverse and you can’t even audit classes at a med school even if you wanted to learn more about kidneys or cancer.
Nursing is a very physically demanding job. Don’t pick that one.
Same with physical therapy and grad school is very intense (and expensive, 200K not uncommon) and requires lots of pre-requisites.
Honestly, I fantasize about non-degree jobs that I would do part-time, like working at an after school program, a garden center, a catering company, or being a receptionist at a fancy medical clinic/independent living center.
I looked into becoming a PT. The amount of education $$ is absolutely not worth it for the salary they make.
Just curious, what did you end up doing instead? Something in healthcare or not related?
+1 – following with interest as PT is something I’d consider, too. Did you find anything else that piqued your interest and where the cost of the education is less?
Counterpoint: my daughter just graduated as a PT with $15K in student loans after 3 years. We paid her living expenses while she was in school, but she had in-state tuition and a couple of T.A./GRA gigs that included tuition waivers. The $15K mostly funded her last semester and a couple of study-abroads. Several of her friends had T.A./GRA jobs as well, so while they are not available for everyone, there seemed to be a good number to go around.
NOT catering unless you don’t like having Friday / Saturday off and are OK with being on your feet all day. I was a wedding photographer and my feet have never been more tired (and these were young feet!). Also: photographers and caterers are often not planned meals when people order their food, so you are tired and hungry.
I think ageism is real, and why would someone hire a new 60 year old nurse when they could hire a new 25 year old nurse that will be cheaper to insure, and more likely to work there for longer? I hope I am wrong; I am just starting to feel my own options are limited as I approach 50. And there may be some high-demand jobs where it just doesn’t matter.
TBH, I think trying to get hired in a new career as a 60 year old would just be really hard – might be manageable if a high demand career like nursing where they just want absolutely anyone (although keep in mind that many types of nursing are pretty physical/12 hr shifts/etc and may be hard).
Is consulting an option in your field? Or being a “fractional fill-in-the-blank” for start-ups or nonprofits?
I wouldn’t want to pursue a job that relies on physical strength, agility, and endurance at age 60 (lifting/moving patients, working night shifts, inserting IVs, cleaning up bodily fluids).
I think a big thing now is the technology aspect. A worker has to be good with the latest technology. Going back to school for some classes might help this.
For retirees / older people – I am not concerned they can’t do the work. I’d be more concerned they can’t do the long days or need to take more breaks, i guess those can be regular accommodations.
I don’t think getting a real degree is generally a good idea past the age of 60 or so, but it can be. But a short term certification course might be helpful and can help enter a new career.
I work in a place with a lot of 50- and 60- year old women who downshift before retirement and the careers of choice are therapist or visual artist who teaches recreational art classes. Both choices are very conducive to part time work and are not physically taxing. But the pay is very low
therapist is a great idea. Very diverse training “requirements”. can now work remotely. I know some part time retirees still seeing patients.
I did half of a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy about 20 years ago. Now that I’m retired I’m really sorry I didn’t finish because it would be a perfect part-time gig.
Sounds like your work-history / therapy training would position you perfectly to do part time work as a mediator.
unless there is some other career out there that you are super excited about, perhaps there is a way for you to rebrand your current skillset to switch gears into something more conducive. do you want to work into your 70s or 80s bc you need the money? if you don’t need the money, why not just get a volunteer gig
Yes – volunteer for organizations you care about and use your skills where they are sorely needed.
I’m 48 now, and in the process of applying to MA programs to become a therapist. So I’ll be 50 when I start to practice, and 52 when I get full licensure. For me, this is a phased retirement thing – I am not planning to work full time after I have my licensure, but would like to be able to continue working part time well into my 70s. I’m past the point where I need to put money into my retirement accounts, just need to not draw them down for a while.
I would change careers because I can see myself being bored with my current job. I do not expect to need the money, but I want to get paid because people value what they pay for. I always expected to practice (I am a lawyer) into my 70s, but now, in my late 50s, I just yawn when I look at doing this for 12 more years. I will considerbeing formally trained as a reading tutor (mentioned this yesterday on another thread) and teaching dyslexic kids to read, which would require about $2,000 for training; working in our local state park, which requires no formal training; or something along the lines of refugee settlement or teaching ESL for adults (which I have done on a volunteer basis). My husband insists he is going to be a youth baseball umpire in retirement. That actually pays pretty well, there is always a shortage of officials, and it only requires a few weeks’ worth of training. (All that to say that I would do some new training but not another graduate degree.)
Good for you. Your plans sound super.
Coworker want. One of our top sales people is completely
obnoxious. He is certainly good at schmoozing and the sales part, very good ole boy, but refuses to do any follow up work, doesn’t manage his team well, and his primary mode of working with other teams is basically bullying. It’s not an actual problem for me because I have enough standing that he can’t bully me/my team, but it’s just annoying to have to deal with this all the time. I don’t even work with him that much but when I do he tries to get me to do his work, and only shows up for showy moments, nothing else.
He mainly gets things done via favors, but he needs my team to do things for him and I don’t operate via favors, so he needs to get in line like everyone else (and C-level etc agree with this)
Coworker rant*
Is this, like, your first job?
No she has enough standing that she can’t be bullied
It reads like AAM fan fiction.
I don’t usually like the meme about “how come nobody is talking about xxxx”
But
How come nobody is talking about the fact that the suspects in both crazy mass murder this past weekend (tourist pier in North Carolina, LDS church in Michigan) are both former US Marines?
Like, that’s scary!! What is going on with our armed forces, is it Marine-specific, and what to do about it?! Is no one else concerned?
This isn’t new. Off the top of my head, the Navy Yard, Fort Hood, and Maine events all were ex-military. It’s almost like seeing combat is bad for your mental health.
I think the guy in Maine had TBIs from having been a trainer for artillery (or something similar). Seems like there may be a physical component to it as well.
Ex-Marines could be at least half of eastern NC, so not helpful really. He clearly had some mental problems, for which my guess is help is never adequate, especially against the echo chamber of the internet. I have been to that restaurant. it shook me for maybe an hour until the Michigan incident hit the news (that seemed to be a person with some issues + anti-LDS prejudices). Both men were of an age where there actual service in the Marines was over a decade old and while they served for short periods, they did deploy (that last piece seeming to be a turning point for both).
And of course no one is talking about how the one in Michigan was MAGA. It’s crickets from the president and his stooges and followers who blasted “the radical left” for the kirk assassination before having any facts at all, but now that we know this guy was MAGA, the silence is deafening.
How do we know that, did he write it on the bullet casings?
The symbols visible on his truck are enough to tell.
There’s a Trump sign in the Google street view of his house.
And he’s pictured with his son wearing a t-shirt that says something about making libs cry again.
Former Army officer here. I served overseas the same time these guys did…TWENTY years ago! Could something from 20 years ago cause you to randomly snap and k111 people? Of course, but it’s not likely.
If you read up on the assailants, the North Carolina hooter has been seriously mentally ill and in need of professional treatment for years. His rantings in all those civil court filings have nothing to do with PTSD (blaming oneself, reliving trauma) and everything to do with schizophrenia or other severe mental illness. Just because his mom wrote in response to a court case that he “has PTSD and the VA needs to take care of him” doesn’t mean that’s what’s going on.
The Michigan suspect has been described as a loner who rarely interacted with anyone outside his family and spent lots of time online. That’s just your typical mass hooter profile. I believe time will show that his service was irrelevant.
As a veteran, I hate to see violence by veterans because it gives military service a bad name. For a while, PTSD was given as the excuse for every bad act committed by a veteran and I think it was a disservice to veterans. You can join the service without being mentally traumatized; veterans are apt to go crazy too or be bad people too, just like civilians.
Some of these guys may have CTE from subconcussive head trauma during service. I wish their families would allow their brains to be studied after death. The NYT wrote an interesting article about how proximity to heavy artillery fire (as in near the actual gun as it goes off) can cause head trauma.
The recent midtown NYC office shooter was found to have CTE even though he never played football outside of high school. IIRC soccer has a higher concussion risk and TONS of kids play soccer now, so we might all do well to be wary and pro-active.
THIS
You’re leaning right into the stereotype I want to get away from. Serving in the military does not give you brain damage by default. The Michigan hooter was a mechanic and a tow truck driver. No artillery in sight. Could he have experienced an IED and thus a TBI while performing his tow truck duties? Sure. But more likely than not, the guy is like the vast majority of veterans who serve and are FINE. He doesn’t get a pity card or a get out of mass hooting free card because he was once in the military without more to go on. Veterans are still people with good and bad motivations like anyone else.
Reports say (but not from any reliable source) that the North Carolina hooter may have been shot in the head overseas, in which case, it was on his family and the VA to do more to prevent this because it seems he’s been walking around mentally impaired/ill for years.
Or maybe military industrial complex should not be sending young men to places where they get shot in the head. Because no amount of VA or family help can make that turn out well. All we are saying…
PTSD makes schizophrenia worse. It’s not an either/or thing. With how many people serve in the military, some % of them will develop both, and they don’t play well together.
Yeah not to mention if drugs were also an issue at somebody’s base.
Yeah it’s pretty wild to me to think the military service isn’t relevant here at all. Of course there may be more going on than PTSD, but that doesn’t mean the PTSD is irrelevant.
I’m not sure you have to be deployed or see combat either. Ford Hood and Fort Bragg are working on their reputations for reasons as I understand it.
Think about the kind of people that are drawn towards careers focused on killing people. There’s probably a higher inclination towards killing people in that population.
While I’m sure some go in with the express purpose of having that opportunity, for most of us it’s the quickest way out of crappy home situations or be able to afford college afterward.
Totally frivolous question – I have long hair (approx. as long as the bottom of my shoulder blades right now) and have been contemplating cutting it for the past month into a lob/bob. Hair appointment is tomorrow. What do I do? Do I take the plunge? Talk me in (or out).
Hair always grows out, so you could try it and see how you feel! In my experience, hair any shorter than shoulders is a lot of work in a whole different way. Long hair’s style is… long. You can always put it back in a ponytail. Shorter hair requires more styling and intentionality around the look. Only you know if you are up to that challenge!
When you cut most hair types short there’s a minimal amount of daily styling required. A lob looks great if you’re willing to put in the effort. Don’t get a bob- try out the lob first so it’s quicker to grow out if you hate it. If you’re hoping for an easier style then keep it long. Add some angling/layers or try a new color to mix it up.
+1. You will have to do more styling if you cut it.
+1 to hair always grows out – that’s my viewpoint as well. I’ve done enough short short cuts to know where I absolutely dislike it and won’t go that short again, but there’s some times I’m willing to take 2 or 3 inches off, versus just 1. If you’ve seen your hair dresser a few times, talk to them too about what style cut is going to work better for your hair and how it lays.
As someone who has cut her hair short many times and regretted it every time, I say don’t do it.
Get it cut into a lob that’s still long enough to pull back, if desired (shoulder length).
If you don’t like it, it’s easy to grow back out. If you do like it, you can go shorter next time.
This is my take. I hate loose hair in my face. It needs to be either long enough to pull it all back securely, or short enough that it can’t get in my face. If it’s in between, I cannot stand it.
+1. Just long enough for a ponytail is the sweet spot for me. Especially in terms of it being easy to care for. It’s versatile too, can wear it up for the gym or down for a night out. I also think a cut that’s angled forward (shorter at the nape) looks more current than a traditional bob.
Echo everyone that a lob is a good medium step if you haven’t had short hair before. I have had a bob and they look ridiculous on me because I have a more heart shaped face. But I do like a lob. I will also recommend you talk to your stylist about styling/maintenance before making any decisions.
Go for it, but ask your stylist to keep it long enough that you can get it into a clip or ponytail. Otherwise you really have to style it daily.
I’m going to go against the crowd and say do it, and if a bob is what you want, go for that and not the half-measure of a lob. You can grow it back if you hate it, but the only way to know is to try it.
I’m getting married this weekend! Words of advice?
Pause to take it all in! Really make yourself be present in the moment. Otherwise it’ll fly by and you won’t remember a thing.
Oh, and make sure you get a plate to eat your own food that you picked out! It’s delicious!
Someone will probably follow you around with food, make you sit with it for a bit, or package some up for later. My newly married friends were very on top of this when I got married.
for the wedding itself-
1. if something doesn’t go to plan, odds are the only one who knows that are you and the wedding planner
2. try to stick with your spouse as much as you can vs. splitting up talking to people
3. have your caterer make you to-go boxes so you can eat at the end if you get too distracted to eat well during the actual reception
in general- facing things as Team Mawwiage against the problem, vs. you against your spouse, will help a lot!
all of this! Congratulations!!
Enjoy the day! Even minor mishaps are just fun stories for the future.
Eat the cake. Hug the elders. Spend time with the kids.
The coordinator/planner always pads the day-of timeline so don’t worry if you’re “behind schedule”. Put your shoulders back and hold your bouquet lower than you think you should. Force yourself to eat lunch. If you don’t then have a snack right before the ceremony. Bring an extra pair of spanx and underwear. Stick with your spouse the whole night. Make sure your spouse knows how to take off your dress.
Most importantly, don’t drink much until the dance floor opens. The day goes by so fast and you’ll regret if your memories are fuzzy.
+1 to holding your bouquet low! No doubt the front of your dress has pretty details – you won’t be able to see any of them if you hold your arms at 90° – hold your arms lower so that the bouquet is down around your ribcage.
Eat dinner. Remember that the entire point of scheduling things is so that they work for you, not you working for the schedule. No one cares if the cake gets cut at 8:30 pm or 8:50 pm, especially if the latter means that you can sit down and eat.
As for marriage:
1. Don’t take advice from people who have unhealed wounds. Also, do not run your marriage by committee.
2. If you and your spouse are on the same team, neither of you is ever caught in the middle.
For the wedding — when you’re cutting the cake, pause and look around at everyone. Really drink it in. It’s a good moment to have that “wow, we did it!” realization before you really start the party part.
For after the wedding — if you think you might want kids, start saving now to self-fund your desired parental leave. Your leave may be unpaid, and you will not want financial reasons to dictate how long you take. And hey, if you end up choosing not to have kids, congrats, you’ve saved for a down payment or remodel, instead! I don’t know a single couple a decade into their marriage who was sad they had a non-emergency-fund $25-100k or whatever socked away for whatever life was bringing them.
is tinnitis something everyone just gets from time to time or do you think it’s indicative of a problem?
It’s definitely not everyone, but maybe more like 1/3 people have ever had it?
Some people get it post COVID. Seems like the work up is to distinguish it from a real ENT issue that can maybe be addressed vs. something up with the brain that is harder to treat. I’m not sure which is more common between ENT issue vs. neuro.
It might also be a medication side effect. That happened with me, but it was a short term issue for me.
It’s not the case that everyone gets it, but I wouldn’t worry about it if you get it only occasionally and it resolves fairly quickly.
It can be related to hearing loss. I have mild hearing loss and I also developed tinnitus during the pandemic lockdown, so not sure if covid had anything to do with it.
It is not something that everyone gets from time to time. But some causes can be mild/reversible – like earwax build up / ear infection / something obstructing the ear canal.
But if you have constant / fluctuating tinnitus in one ear, it is worth having your doctor check to see if it looks ok inside. And then ask yourself if you have any hearing loss, which is a common cause of tinnitus. If you aren’t sure, get a hearing test – often in an ENT clinic with an audiologist. Or even walk into Costco and get a free basic test in their hearing aids department.
But if you are young and have no clear cause of the tinnitus, or have one sided tinnitus + hearing loss, you should see an ENT to investigate why. You may need an imaging study of that area to check it out.
And some things can really make tinnitus – if you have it – go wildly up or down in intensity. Fatigue/sleep deprivation makes tinnitus worse. And headaches are often associated with worse tinnitus.
Tinnitus that pulses like your heartbeat definitely warrants a doctor’s appointment.
do you mean something like one ear ringing for 30 seconds a couple times a year? normal. Constant? No.