Do You Go to Reunions?
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Here's a fun question for midweek: which reunions do you try to go to? High school, college, grad school, even workplace reunions — all can have their pros and cons. Which ones do you try to make a practice to go to regularly, and which ones have you actually gone? What factors decide whether you'll go or not?
I am, admittedly, not great about reunions! I went to my 10 year high school reunion because at the time I was single and thought I'd had a nice “glow up” since high school… but I haven't gone to a single other reunion. (Maaybe my 5-year college reunion?) With my undergrad it's because I'm very involved in another alumni group so I'm actually back on campus semi-regularly, plus I'm in touch with everyone I actually want to be in touch with. With law school I suppose it's the same — I'm in touch with everyone I actually want to be in touch with — but if I remember correctly I would have gone to my last reunion but the timing didn't work out for other reasons.
Over to you — do you go to reunions? Do you go seeking connection, gossip, new clients or job prospects, dates, or… all of the above? What's the best thing that's come out of attending a reunion?
Stock photo via Stencil.
Ugh, no for sure for high school. I did enjoy my 5th year college reunion, and 5th professional school reunion. But that’s enough for me. Time moves on, and I keep in touch with those that I care about.
I go to every single thing I’m able to make it to. I was over 99%ile as a kid for height and it’s funny which ones I go to where my current short stature is brought up. Otherwise, I’ve always been pretty unremarkable except for always smiling even though my teeth were not great as a kid.
I went to a grad school reunion last year and I’m so glad I did. I was in my mid-20s in grad school and that’s when my depression really started, so I always had mixed feelings about my time there. For some reason I had it in my mind for the last 10 years that everyone hated me, and obviously that was not true. It was really great to reconnect with those classmates and realize that.
No, I was a nobody. It would be weird for me to show up maybe a handful of people would remember me but that’s about it.
I’ve never gone to a reunion. I have no interest in high school reunions at all. I really only one close friend from high school and she lives in Europe.
I have more interest in college reunions, but I live across the country so it would be a significant time and expense. Plus all the milestone years have had events that made it complicated. I (+several friends) got married the summer of our 5 year and I had a newborn baby the summer of our 10 year. I guess I might go to 20, it’s coming up really soon and it would be fun to show my kid my campus.
I’ve also tried to convince DH we should all go to one of his college reunions because I thought it would be fun to see his campus (we met post-college and went to different schools) but he was not into it.
I go to college reunions and local get-togethers only. No more high school. I didn’t stay in touch with anyone beyond one or two from high school, mostly because I had a lousy experience the whole 12 years I went to school in that town.
Someone once told me “You always remember the friends you had in high school, but you keep the friends you had in college.” Pretty accurate.
I went to a reunion this weekend (undergrad, 25 year), and to say it was sparsely attended would be an understatement. There were maybe a dozen of us, out of a class of roughly 400. It was disappointing, but not unexpected. Yes, I also already keep in touch with the people I wanted to keep in touch with, and didn’t “need” to go. But to me: this is the kind of thing you go to because you’re part of a community. I know I sound like the old person that I am, but what happened to the sense of belonging? It’s something important that we’ve lost.
I get your point as it applies to local folks but a lot of people don’t live anywhere near where they went to high school or college, and most people aren’t going to spend a bunch of money and PTO to show up for an organization. I have a big travel budget in terms of both money and time, but it’s still hard to justify flying to reunions if I don’t know most of the people attending. I care a lot more about showing up for my friends and family than my college.
The community argument rings hollow for those who were othered.
Nothing happened to the sense of community, other than people realizing they can choose who is in that community. It’s toxic to think you have to remain obligated to some group you didn’t choose and don’t relate to. I didn’t “belong” to those communities while in school, so I certainly don’t feel any desire or obligation to pretend as much decades later. I’m certainly not going to travel and spend money or time to hang out with former classmates that I have no relationship with today.
Interesting timing, as I’m currently helping plan my 35th high school reunion. I haven’t been to a high school reunion since our 10th and I wasn’t a class officer or anyone who should be doing the planning. However, I have re-connected with a few people from high school over the past several years and somehow ended up part of the planning group. I’m actually looking forward to it! Some of the people I’ve connected with have been people I liked during high school and it’s been great to see them again. Others have been people who wouldn’t have given me the time of day during high school, but now we seem to have a lot in common.
I haven’t gone to any official college reunions, but did get together this summer with some of my closest friends from college. We had stayed in touch generally but not very well, and it was great to see them.
I’ll be honest. Though I attended only the first high school reunion and none thereafter, I am going to my 40th reunion out is sheer nosiness. I want to know what everyone is up to these days.