Coffee Break: Multi-Charging Cable

71 Comments

1. How much stamina should I expect to have as a person in my late 40s? I feel like everyone around me has much more. For example, I was at a conference last week with colleagues my age and older. After an 11-hour day, a colleague who was local to the conference invited the group to her house for dinner. Given the timing there was no way we’d be back at the hotel before 10:00 p.m., and I had an 8:00 a.m. presentation the next day. I bowed out, ordered room service, and promptly fell asleep, but everyone else went and was just fine. I got home from the conference Friday afternoon. I had an hour or two to unpack and relax before my husband and I had dinner reservations and opera tickets, but I just could not face the idea of getting dressed up and going out. I was half-asleep by 6:30. This weekend all I managed to accomplish was errands on Saturday, girls’ night Saturday evening, a long Sunday morning of church morning church music stuff, and an afternoon of cooking dinner and prepping lunches. I didn’t work out, practice music, or clean the house. My husband did the laundry and the yard work and vacuumed. Today I’ve been dragging at work. It seems like it takes me a week to recover from business travel or a late night. Everyone else is just go-go-go. Is there something wrong with me? How does everyone else do it?

   1. This sounds like a good question for your PCP.

      I was anemic and had very similar symptoms. Resolving the cause of the anemia made a huge difference for my quality of life. There are many different things that could have similar symptoms, though, so it’s work talking to a professional who can screen for the causes and treat appropriately.

   2. Caffeine.

      1. I have my two cups of coffee every morning, but I remember it coming up once that I was working alongside people who were taking Vyvanse, Adderall, and/or Modafinil every day. They definitely were running circles around me, and I wasn’t sure if it meant I needed the same, or if I was just being unrealistic expecting to keep up!

   3. Is this a change for you or is this how you’ve always been? Some people are just low energy people. I’m one of them. My mom is a high energy person and has always had more energy than I do, despite being 35 years older. It’s still true now that I’m 40 and she’s 75!

      If it’s a change for you, I agree on talking to your doctor. But if it’s how you’ve always been, ehh – it’s probably just who you are. Fwiw my reaction reading this was that you did a lot this week/weekend. There is no way I would want to get back to the hotel after 10 pm when I had an 8 am presentation for work.

      1. Just a PSA that even always having been this way doesn’t always mean something isn’t treatable (my mom always ran circles around me, and I was first diagnosed with a highly treatable condition that causes fatigue in my thirties, even though I was born with it). It probably does mean more work up than standard if they’re really going to try to figure it out though.

   4. Your schedule sounds plenty full to me. I just got back from a tech conference last week and had plenty of late nights but I would definitely decline/turn in early before a presentation I was running vs. just a conference attendee day. I also have a bunch of chronic illnesses that flare/get worse when I’m tired so I’ve always needed lots of sleep and structure my life/plans accordingly. However, when my energy levels drop off dramatically it’s generally a sign I’m flaring, or I’m depressed. So it never hurts to raise with a PCP.

   5. I am exhausted just reading your post, so from this middle aged woman to another you are not abnormal at all. You seem to be doing super well, in my eyes.

      The idea of going out to dinner and the opera after returning from business travel where I presented at 8am at a conference literally made me laugh at loud. Nevermind that you unpacked the minute you got home.

      People are different. We change with age, and our bodies recover more slowly from changes in our schedules. Travel is exhausting. And I think your expectations of normality are unrealistic.

      1. +1

         Maybe the people you’re traveling with completely crash when they get home, or have naturally higher levels of energy. But make no mistake, your schedule was plenty full and I don’t think you need to feel bad about being tired!

      2. +1.

         What you describe sounds like a full and busy schedule. I’m 43 with one kid.

         FWIW, I stay in my pajamas until 11am or 12pm on Saturday and Sunday, mostly lounging around the house, and avoid any social commitments on more than one day on the weekend.

   6. i’m like you. i wish i was more like others

   7. I’m lower-energy than my husband and agree with the point that people are different. I’ll also point out that a lot of your examples are very social-driven. Are you an introvert? Something like a dinner with people I don’t know well, after a long day of meetings, sounds exhausting and unpleasant to me, but I suspect it wouldn’t be as draining for introverts. Ditto girls nights and church. Those things can be fun, but they do wear me out, especially if they’re not with close friends.

   8. By my late 20s I realized I need to take better care of myself during travel or busy phases. Lots of water, balanced meals, minimal alcohol, stretching during bathroom breaks. It makes a big difference in how I feel by the end of the day. I can power through one or two nights of limited sleep but any longer and I invariably get sick. In your conference situation I would set the expectation before dinner that I need to leave by 9:00 to catch up on something time sensitive (whether it’s true or not). Feeling lazy after a business trip is understandable but if you’re physically exhausted days later something isn’t right.

      1. I’m on the other end of a big tech conference and I made it a point to go for long walks, stretch, drink lots of water, take my supplements, eat more protein, meditate, and cut WAY back on the drinking at vendor events this year. It’s a total 180 from last year, I’m still tired (and jet lagged) but not wrecked. I’m 43 and sadly this stuff is now non-negotiable, powering through on no sleep and drugs is for the sales reps and 20-somethings.

   9. Are you an introvert? Extroverts will gain energy from all the social time, while you (and me) will lose it. It’s inconvenient in a world designed for extroverts, but whatever.

   10. i think there are a lot of variables here. I’m 48 and would have been asolutely exhausted because I’m an introvert and 11 hours of people + more peopling at dinner would have just been way, way too much. but part of this is how used you are to it — for example i always expect that the first week of school for my kids will be extra exhausting because they’re not used to being in a classroom for that long, and rising that early, and talking to so many people… whereas by week 2 they’re acclimated. when i was younger i remember liking to go out after work with friends because i was too exhausted to do anything at home except stare at the tv.

   11. You’re doing way better than me, a weekend with more than one outing basically kills me.

   12. After a certain level of business travel, habits change. Our CTO quizzed my table of colleagues a couple weeks ago about our hobbies and you know what? We all admitted we didn’t have time for them anymore. No concerts, no choir practice, no girls’ nights out. So that’s the secret: we cut out all those fun things you are doing in order to conserve our energy for the three hour dinners after a day of meetings.

       I also don’t unpack my suitcase right when I get home. Some of my heaviest traveling colleagues will have two suitcases packed before back to back weeks of travel so that they can relax in the couple days the have at home.

   13. Is this new? If not, then who cares about anyone else? You have your needs, and they should be met.

       If it is new, then see a doctor and get some bloodwork.

   14. Everyone else isn’t doing it! I wouldn’t be.
       I’m not naturally a go-go-go person. I can amp up to do it when needed, but it’s not my preferred way of living. So even your weekend of two back-to-back events on Friday and Saturday evenings, followed by a full Sunday morning of music responsibilities, with all the errands and chores in between, would have been a high-energy weekend for me. Not mentioning that I’d also been traveling on Friday.

       On the other hand, I also have colleagues who pack in the activities and events, and I also wonder how they do it!

   15. Maybe they aren’t doing it!

       I absolutely skip sessions during conferences to nap/rest so I have energy for dinner and drinks at the end of the day. I don’t tell anyone or announce it. I slip out, nap, then reappear later.

       1. love this comment, it’s really smart — some conferences it’s the networking more than the panels that you need the energy for.

          1. This is the case for this conference, but the boss requires us to attend and report on a panel for every session. It’s madness.

       2. So true!

   16. Early 40’s are when I felt like crashing after work every day. Turned out I was hypothyroid. See a PCP as others have recommended and specifically ask to have your TSH levels checked.

       1. I was thinking that when I feel like this, it usually means my TSH has starting creeping up and I need a med adjustment.

          I’m sure there are many other conditions that can subtly present as exhaustion, but women in their 40s are higher risk for some of the autoimmune ones like thyroid.

   17. Maybe it’s not so much lack of energy as it is too much stimulation? As an introvert, I need some down time away from people to function well. It’s not lack of energy so much as it is just needing to not be talked at or expected to respond for hours upon hours upon hours. I need time to recharge before I can function well.

       That doesn’t mean I’m not busy during my introvert alone time, it just means I’m not interacting with people.

   18. It’s very useful it or lose it for me. When I just do it, I’m fine. When I give in to being tired, I’ll go to sleep. It’s a choice I make to keep going instead of going to sleep.

2. I know Ask a Manager can be off the wall sometimes, but I really liked the post today about “green flags” to look for in new coworkers, or when starting a job. I have a coworker who I really dislike and part of the reason is that she has zero of these flags. Also a good reminder of how to behave towards new joiners.

   1. Link, please? I must not be able to competently use the internet today.

      1. https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/i-now-realize-a-work-friendship-wasnt-healthy-where-do-i-go-from-here.html

   2. Me too. That was a very good post.

3. If you had a free week to travel exactly a month from now – pre holidays – and know you won’t vacation until probably late fall 2026 due to a major scheduled surgery in Q1 and recovery from that, where would you go? International and domestic options flying direct from DC or BWI, though I obv don’t have time for Asia or Australia. What I like – walking around exploring small cities and staying in luxury hotels. I’m ok with cold weather though don’t love it. Is Europe worth it this time of the year? I could be ok with a beach vacation with nice weather as long as there is some small town aspect to it and there’s something more to it than the beach.

   1. Europe is amazing at Christmastime. So many great Christmas markets not only in Germany but also in countries like Austria, Belgium, France, Czech Republic etc. London is also amazing at the holidays. Lots of great luxury hotels, especially in bigger cities like London and Paris.

      It’s also a good time for the Caribbean, and price-wise there are some deals to be had before most US public schools start winter break — December 20 this year. Prices are hugely inflated the 2 weeks around Christmas/New Year’s and settle down into normal high season prices in early January, but early-mid December is still considered low season in the Caribbean. I think Europe would be a better fit for what you want though.

      1. London at Christmas is lovely, but I’d suggest Austria or Germany if you want something really special. Even Berlin/Frankfurt (which I was told were ‘just ok’ for Christmas markets) were on a totally different level than London.

         1. True. I am just really partial to London (my version of “Paris is always a good idea” is “London is always a good idea”), and love it year round. I do think it’s extra magical at the holidays, but Germany/Austria are definitely more traditional places for Christmas markets.

   2. My philosophy is “the answer is always Paris.” If you want a smaller city, Bruges is lovely, as is Amsterdam and any small city in Italy — Florence, Treviso, Verona, to name a few.

   3. salzburg and krakow are adorable small cities. as is chania, crete

      1. I love Krakow

   4. Paris.

      1. The Ritz in Paris!

   5. Morocco?

      1. Only if you want to avoid all things Christmas

         1. Yeah, that could be a feature or a bug depending on your perspective. I live in NYC, and while I like the IDEA of New York at the holidays, the reality is impossibly crowded. I am guessing some of the European holiday destinations might be similar, but I have no firsthand experience. I have been to Morocco and would go back again in a heartbeat.

            1. I have family in NYC and have gone to Europe in December several times. My sense is that European cities are generally less crowded than NYC at this time of year. NYC is kind of THE destination for Christmas in the US, but Europe has dozens of cities where people travel for the holidays – Germany alone has dozens of cities with well-known markets – so I think that spreads out the crowds a bit. It is still crowded, but not to the degree NYC is, in my experience.

   6. I would do the European Christmas markets for sure. I’d probably go with Austria or maybe Germany but Vienna at Christmas just sounds so romantic. It’s not that cold in most of Europe this time of year, especially with good boots/coats.

   7. Paris for the decorations and Lyon for less-touristy charm? London & cozy up in a little inn in the Cotswolds? I would LOVE to spend time in Europe all decked out for the holidays, but due to my role it’s unlikely I’ll do it before retirement.

   8. I’d go to Paris and see the Sargent exhibit, walk around, eat, and do some shopping. The Christmas markets should be open at that time too. Go for it OP!

   9. Can someone explain what is so appealing about Christmas markets? Not OP, but I see this recommended frequently and don’t understand why these are worth traveling to Europe for. I know this sounds judgy, but I really don’t mean for it to. I truly am just trying to gain an understanding of why they are so popular.

      1. I don’t think people are (mostly) going to Europe solely for Christmas markets. They enjoy Europe, and the Christmas markets are just like an extra fun seasonal thing. In OP’s case, it sounds like this is really the only time she can travel. I’d still suggest Europe even if the Christmas markets and holiday cheer didn’t exist because it sounds like a good fit for her timeframe, location and interests, but the Christmas markets are an added bonus.

      2. have you been? the reason people find them appealing is to the degree that people love the holiday season/ hallmark movies about the holiday season the christmas markets in europe have that vibe. i don’t really get the question. like why do people like the beach or disney or art museums…. people like what they like.

      3. The markets don’t eliminate all the normal tourist stuff. There’s still all the normal reasons you’d go to Europe (food, wine, history, culture, art, etc.), plus the markets in addition to that, which many people enjoy. I’m from a US city with a good Christmas market, so it’s not that unique but I still really enjoy going to Europe at this time of year. It’s also a surprisingly cheap time to visit, at least compared to the summer months, and since we have school-aged kids it’s hard for my family to go in spring and fall.

4. I love the old second base demi or half camisoles. Does anyone have a replacement brand? It’s so useful for v necks that require an underlayer but you don’t want extra fabric at your waist. I liked the fabric too.

   1. Not familiar with the ones you mentioned, but I recently ordered the Halogen Compression Crop Camisole and like it. It’s about hip length on me– not super short, but no tucking into average-rise pants. Plus, currently on sale.

   2. Halftee? https://www.amazon.com/stores/HTHALFTEE/page/717C17A0-B265-4C53-8B1C-662E8D1FC593?lp_asin=B084WLDF7W&ref_=ast_bln&store_ref=bl_ast_dp_brandLogo_sto

5. another question on stamina – i just feel completely spent by 3:30 each day. i don’t do well with caffeine after noon, but maybe i should try? not sure how worried to be, I feel like i’m just old and bored with my job.

   1. This is not uncommon. Adding coffee that late in the day is asking for trouble, and could disrupt your sleep cycle. Can you try taking a small break a bit earlier, like at 3pm. A quick walk/stretch/small healthy snack/pop outside, and drink some water. It’s like a little afternoon reward, that may help you for the home stretch.

   2. I get a mid afternoon slump every day around 3pm. Getting up and moving for a minute helps. Sometimes I just walk down the hall for some water, or to chat with a coworker, maybe step outside for a breath of fresh air.

   3. I don’t think you should be worried, but I do think you should know whether you have sleep apnea or unstable blood glucose (one or the other of these is an issue for something like “a third” of adults in USA so it’s not too much to ask to be checked out).

   4. This is hard to answer in isolation. What time do you wake up? How much sleep do you get? Are you eating a heavy lunch? How intense is your workday and when does it start?

   5. I was just talking to a grandma at the library about this, and she told me her theory is that we train ourselves for 12+ years in school to be on from morning until dismissal, and around 3:30 we get home and crash out, and our body follows that pattern for the rest of our lives.

      I know there’s a lot about circadian rhythm, yadda yadda, but it was an interesting thing to think about.

      1. so interesting. i remember feeling like the post-school time period were my best working hours, maybe because that’s when i did homework and papers and stuff as a kid. As a grownup it’s hard to hit the ground running in the morning, i’m almost never at full capacity and focus until 11:30. which is why it sucks that my day suddenly feels so short! on the days that i work from home it doesn’t help that kids are coming home and interrupting my workflow in that time period.

   6. Have you had recent bloodwork that included a ferritin check? What did it show?

      1. Also, do you consume lots of sugar in the morning?

   7. Try creatine. I had this same crash in the afternoon but recently started taking creatine and don’t experience any crash anymore. I am vegetarian, so it’s likely I am noticing a bigger effect from that. I have a one year old who doesn’t sleep through the night too, so it’s not like I’m well rested!

      1. Can I ask what creatine you’re taking? I’m vegetarian, too, and would love a little boost.

   8. OP here – no sugar in the morning, 1 cup of black coffee. I eat a large breakfast/lunch somewhere in the 10:30-2:30 range. I had bloodwork done in June/July and everything was in normal bounds, but I’ll have to check to see if ferritin was on the panel.

      interesting about creatine!!

6. ew on the Lawrence Summers / Crimson story.
   https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2025/11/17/summers-epstein-wing-man-woman-described-as-mentee/

   1. Disgusting but not really surprising

   2. Disgusting.

7. I got one of these 3-way-chargers at a conference this year and it was amazing. Coincidentally I had forgotten my charger in the room and stumbled on the vendor table.

   (was reminded of the rette who got to choose their company swag – this is my favorite event swag!)

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