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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Mckenna Knot-Waist Shirt

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A woman wearing a black blouse and white pants

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This knot-waist blouse from Cinq à Sept is such an fun twist on a classic button-up. The knot gives such a fantastic shape, but it still looks like it would be appropriate in even the most formal of offices.

I would wear this with a pair of bootcut trousers for a '90s/early '00s-inspired look. 

The shirt is $295 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XXS-XL. It also comes in ivory and navy. 

Admin Note: Thank you for your patience this morning with our tech problems – it seems like there’s a lot of disturbance in the Force (more specifically, a widely used service called Cloudflare) this morning, but hopefully we’re back up for good.

Sales of note for 4/17:

  • Nordstrom – Beauty savings event, up to 25% off – nice price on Black Honey
  • Ann Taylor – Cyber Spring! 50% off everything + free shipping
  • Boden – 25% off everything (thru Sun, then 15% off)
  • Brooklinen – 25% off sitewide — we have and love these sateen sheets
  • Evereve – 1000+ items on sale, including lots from Alex Mill, Michael Stars, Sanctuary, Rails, Xirena, and Z-Supply
  • Express – $29 dresses
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  • Lands' End – 50% off full price styles and 60% off all clearance and sale – lots of ponte dresses come down under $25, and this packable raincoat in gingham is too cute
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212 Comments

  1. What is the best piece of advice/tip/life hack you’ve gotten off this site? I’ll start – while there have been so many over the years, I’ve lost count – but daily, I’m grateful for Senior Attorney’s advice to spend the extra $5K and put wood floors throughout my main floor during an extensive remodel in 2020. They make me happy every single day.

    1. Oooo mine probably also came from Senior Attorney: “the only way out is through” and “this time next year you’ll feel so much better,” both in relation to a terrible breakup. Six years later (!) and I am very happily married to the man I met 3 months after that break up :)

      1. That one was mine (others too, of course, but I’ve been one of the strongest proponents of it). Isn’t it the absolute best once you make that switch?

          1. Well I am the one who said it helped me and I’m far from Pollyanna! I just find my life a lot more enjoyable when I make an effort to prioritize doing something that is either different, outdoors, or physical on weekends at least once.

          3. It’s more obnoxious to assume people doing chores on weekends are wasting their lives away.

          6. Yes. May your day improve so you aren’t like this to people you actually encounter in real life.

        2. Yes! And even when I do spend a weekend mostly at home I’m much more intentional about using it to read a really good book and enjoy a long neighborhood walk and cook something time consuming for the fun of it. I worried I would be tired and aways behind but having something to really enjoy makes the rest of my time more focused.

          1. Totally – it makes a huge difference. Going from “Saturday mornings are for cleaning” to “Saturday mornings are for family biking” will improve your quality of life a ton.

          2. That only works if you are rich enough to afford a SAHP or a housekeeper to do the cleaning for you during the week.

          3. Lol, yes, that’s the only way any of us manage to keep our house clean. Definitely not by cleaning every day after breakfast and before bed. Nope. Only option is Saturday cleaning or someone who’s home all day or paying someone. No other option.

          4. That was my comment and I don’t have a housekeeper, we both work, and we have a baby. Mindset matters more than circumstances.

    3. High five for wood floors, OP!

      My best life hack from here is “do the thing.” Even though I keep forgetting and have to keep reminding myself. The best actual advice to me personally was to leave my terrible husband many (wow! almost 13!) years ago.

      1. A lot of commenters suggested this when getting rid of my junked car–finally got it towed away last week!

          1. Kars for Kids was incredibly organized. 3 years of fretting, 2 minutes of filling out an online form, and then 2 minutes of phone call scheduling the pick up!

    4. Secure an apartment before telling your husband you want a divorce. After being wishy washy for years I finally went through with it, and having a lease signed gave me a firm date to get out. That was almost exactly two years ago. Forever grateful for the incredibly kind encouraging comments I got here.

      3. I’m not sure if I was the one who gave that advice. But I received and followed that advice over 20 years ago. It worked for me.

    5. So many over the years. The advice to change your device passwords to your phone numbers so your kids will memorize them was very helpful.

  2. Looking for a recommendation for a divorce attorney for a friend. Friend lives in Queens, public school teacher budget. Needs somebody solid – no major assets but wants a fair deal.

    2. No recommendations but are they both public school teachers? If not, she may want to lawyer up differently.

    3. IDK what a fair deal is, especially if you aren’t rich. I see it as not an unfair deal so much as just a bad situation (often, it took 2 incomes to survive and when there will need to be two households, everyone gets pinched and there is never enough money or time and it is not good but maybe worth the financial cost to separate and start over). Child support is statutory. Custody is usually 50/50 legal and visitation is very important but the mom is so often the default primary physical custody person. Alimony really isn’t a thing for most divorces. For the asset split and QDRO — you just really need to know your assets and know your options. Is there a particular pain point?

    4. Is this amicable or not? If there are no major assets and both people are calm/reasonable but just completely done with each other, we had good luck in CA with a mediator and a partial DIY approach. Cost about $5k all in.

    6. If it’s amicable and they have similar assets, she should not get lawyers involved. My parents were both public school teachers and just split everything up themselves.

      Unless there are major assets or a very intricate situation, it often doesn’t make sense to get lawyers involved. With her income I would be very nervous about attorney fees.

      1. Are there kids involved? If so, it seems wise to have some expert advice on what arrangements are actually workable in practice.

        1. Thanks – there is a kid, friend is at the point where she thinks a lawyer would be a good idea… she’s a really level headed person so I trust her judgement.

          1. I suggested a mediator above, and I would probably not use one if kids are involved. Custody is inherently a thing people can’t actually be rational about. Very different if you’re just talking about who gets what car, etc.

    7. I’ll be the voice of dissent. Some of the family law attorneys I know do uncontested divorces. They charge maybe $2,000.

      “Why do you need an attorney for an uncontested divorce?”

      Because you do. Just because you get along now doesn’t mean you always will (ie if children are involved). Having a clear agreement helps. Judges are more willing to sign off if parties are both represented by counsel. A good lawyer can bring up things that both people would not have thought of.

      Just make sure that the lawyer she hires does both contested and uncontested divorces.

  3. I’m looking for more dresses to wear to conferences. These are public health conferences outside of the US, so the vibe is a little different.

    So I’m looking for:
    – midi / maxi length dress
    – either sleeveless or 3/4 or full sleeved
    – Not a v neck. Lean conservative overall
    – Any color other than black!

    Suggestions for where to look for dresses like this?

    2. I’d try me & em, but also why the v-neck restriction? Those can still be conservative cuts and you knock a lot of things out, including shirt dresses.

      1. I have a larger chest and the least v neck shows too much. I could wear a cami etc underneath but it’s convenient when I don’t have to.

    4. Maxi length is throwing me. Are you in the Middle East, so you need to give the effect of wearing an abaya? What material for this maxi dress? Flowy or suiting?

      1. Not an abaya lol. But just on the longer side. A little longer than knee length would be ideal. Flowy works.

      2. I feel like maxi reads resort and not work. Midi is often too long on me because I’m short. Maybe midi is what you want? Or knee-length on the model if you aren’t tall?

        1. I feel like Boden is the official outfitters of genetic epidemiologists, whose conferences are public health-adjacent.

          1. I just looked up Biden dresses and I’m pretty sure I saw someone wearing one of those dresses earlier today. So that’s a yes!

  4. I was unaware that there are schools – like the ones my nephews go to – that don’t enforce deadlines/due dates because those can be difficult for economically disadvantaged children to meet. It’s called equitable grading.

    Have we not established by now as a species that children need structure? How are we preparing children for life if school completely lacks expectations?

    Have you seen equitable grading in the wild? How do you feel about it?

    https://www.edweek.org/teaching-learning/heres-what-teachers-really-think-about-equitable-grading-policies/2025/08

    1. Probably the same reason I don’t penalize my sport players for being late by making them run sprints like I had to when I was a teenager. So much is not in their control and I’m not a jerk.

      1. +1

        A kid who (through no fault of their own) may not have a stable home or food on the table probably isn’t worrying about deadlines.

        1. They also don’t care if they get bad grades, so there’s no reason not to give bad grades.

          1. Why do you assume a child without a stable home doesn’t care about his or her grades? Of course there may be bigger concerns, but ambition is not limited to rich kids. I have a very, very professionally successful friend who grew up with unstable housing and school was very important to her because she saw academic success as a way out.

          3. I taught high school and that’s a really unfair generalization. I had kids who were homeless and in other precarious situations who felt that school was their only refuge.

          4. Either they are young enough that their grades don’t matter (so just give them the right ones), or they’re old enough that they do not need a blanket policy excusing them from getting graded because they can manage their stuff most of the time and can ask for accommodations and support as needed. A blanket policy makes no sense at any age.

        2. I think it can be not good. It is clearly well-intentioned. Unlimited retakes + kid with a perfectionism / anxious / ADHD brain can take this and spin wheels more and more as the semester progresses. I’d love to live in a Montessori world where you keep progressing at your own pace until you make it, but that’s not remotely realistic. And in something like math, maybe it makes sense to not progress prior to mastery, but IDK how you do that in public school with a class size of 30.

          2. It’s not that hard. In subjects with a learning curve, teachers can weigh the grades at the end of the year more heavily to avoid penalizing missteps earlier in the year.

            And homework can happen at school so that nothing is late.

          3. Our public middle school does 90 min class periods so the kids can do homework at school — in big classes, on chromebooks — and it was terrible for my ADHD kid.

            There’s no solution that works for everyone, and public schools are in an impossible situation. But I’m not mad that schools are trying different things…this is how we get data about what works in the long run.

          4. School is just straight up detrimental for a lot of ND kids. The system we have wasn’t designed to be inclusive, and trying to retrofit it has been hard.

      2. But no matter your phase in life, a lot is out of your control and you’re still held accountable for it.

        Late for practice because your parents dropped you off late? Thats one thing.

        Late for practice because you were dawdling after school? Thats on you.

        I get that underprivileged kids might have struggles others dont (need to work or take care of siblings), but they can still learn the importance of communicating late work in advance and developing a plan for turning stuff in by a mutually agreed upon date.

        And… a lot of college professors will not care. I was in the National Guard, in addition to working FT and going to grad school PT. I failed a class a few years ago when I got activated by my state for COVID related NG duty. My professor did not care, I couldn’t keep up with the work and I failed.

    2. I think in general judging things like this with no personal knowledge or understanding isn’t a great look.

      1. Amdn. Also, every time I read a rant about things like this I remember how when I was in law school, the professors were super strict about deadlines and they always said “when you go to court, the judge isn’t going to accept late filings so you need to get used to it” And lo and behold, it turns out that almost every judge I ever encountered was a human being who accepted late filings even when I thought the excuses were ridiculous.

    3. I think the only thing new here is if it’s a school-wide policy. I had teachers in the 90s-aughts that allowed late turn-ins, often with a lower potential maximum score. Up to one week late, you can get a 90, and it drops by 10 after that but you can get at least a 50% as long as it’s turned in by the end of the marking period. Some said “the deadline is the deadline, miss it and you get a 0,” but those were fewer and farther between.

      The idea is that it’s better for kids to continue to have an incentive to do the work even if they missed the due date. Which is just logical…if you want kids to learn the subject matter, you shouldn’t discourage them from completing schoolwork. If I can’t get any credit for doing something a day or two late, I’m probably not going to waste my time, but if I can still get a 90%, that’s worth the effort.

      1. Hey, everyone who’s been complaining about how junior associates are terrible? I think I found your reason.

    4. Schools don’t enforce any rules these days, regardless of students’ economic status.

    5. I think this one of those bigotry of low expectations things. You can be generous and flexible with deadlines and have extensions for anything reasonable – but still have them.

      In fact I do this at work and tell people upfront and it works really well.

      This is like passing students who actually don’t know the material – doesn’t help in the long run.

    6. In high school, often you have to have grades end by the end of the quarter. And the AP exams are when they are. My kid’s IEP doesn’t budge deadlines because we want for her to feel that they are real and not falling behind is important.

      I feel like a meme I saw yesterday: Many kids have a 7.0 GPA and 1600 SATs and cured cancer but got rejected by DeVry; the others can’t work basic math. Those others are at least 50% of students at my kids’ “good” public high school and I worry they can’t actually become carpenters, HVAC people, mechanics, a firefighter (which in our city means also being an EMT), good jobs that you can get without college. My husband does entry level hiring and it’s either great (20%) and those people get promoted out to other business lines or completely grim.

      2. yeah, I get where this idea is coming from, out of a desire for kindness and support, but school is supposed to be designed to help kids prepare for adulthood – where deadlines at a job are meaningful for continuing to hold that job. Tricky thing to balance here.

        1. This is not universally true. People tend to slot into jobs that prize the talents they have (like adhering to deadlines, if that’s yours) I’m not a deadline person (like I can meet a deadline if you need me to, but you might not like what you get) and the jobs I’ve had reflect this.

          3. Meeting deadlines is a skill that improves with practice, not a talent people are or aren’t born with.

        2. i co-teach a college course. this was literally an email I received this week from a student. the syllabus says that students will be penalized two points per late assignment. This is an email I received from a student “I am going to have to submit some of my Nov 16th assignments on Nov 17th. I’m sorry for the delay but just wanted to give you a heads up.” — uh no, this is not how deadlines work. if this student had emailed me perhaps including why these assignments are late or if something came up, we are reasonable people. like if someone is in the hospital and can’t turn in their assignments. But they got a syllabus at the beginning of the semester, this is not a course that requires learning certain material before being able to do the work. this course is basicallly a way for students to get credit for doing an internship, with some reflections and assignments along the way.

          1. But it sounds like they’re giving you a heads up but also realizing they’ll be penalized two points per the syllabus. I think that’s just basic courtesy.

          2. Students have been taught to be communicative with professors.

            My read on this is that the student knows the work is late and is not asking for an extension. The student is expecting to lose points for it being late but wanted to let you know the work will be turned in.

            I was a D1 student athlete and we were expected to be proactive like this if we’d miss a deadline.

            This happens all the time in the workplace top, IME.

          3. The wording you shared from your syllabus makes it clear there’s a late penalty. She’s just letting you know it will be late, and you can assume she knows she’ll be docked points. If she doesn’t, then you can just share the line from the syllabus. I don’t see the issue here, she might just be giving you a heads up.

          4. I work FT and am currently taking a class with about 25 other students. I told the teacher I’d miss a week of class (so he would know I’m not blowing it off) and his assignments are unlocked for 4-5 days per assignment, so you can flex when you do them). It works out. He can unlock earlier if needed. But the final is when it is and grades must be turned in by a deadline, so I don’t think that he has much flexibility.

          5. Your comment is riddled with typos, but the student giving you advance notification is the problem. Got it.

    8. My opinion on it depends on how it is implemented and communicated. Most of the time, I think it’s a good idea. If school is actually about learning the material then you need to provide them opportunities to learn the material when life gets in the way.

      1. My kids go to a HUGE public high school, like bigger than many SLACs. It could be good in theory in a small bespoke school where testing is to diagnose where you need to spend more effort. But at a big school with big classes and a too-high counselor-student ratio, it’s just a bandaid on an arterial bleed. It feels like they are doing something and is performative kindness, but what they need to do is beef up remedial reading and math staffing and fund differentiated instruction.

      2. I fall more in this camp than bludgeoning kids with nonsense expectations. The education and fostering the love/importance of learning is the point. The world can crush them later.

    10. Schools need to revert to a tough love approach: keep high standards but provide scaffolding and support to get kids there. For one kid that might mean flexibility on assignments, for another that might mean extra study halls for HW time in a quiet environment.

      Over time, kids should have more ownership and agency over these supports.

      I’ve worked in a private school with a large population of underprivileged students and this was the school’s approach. We’ll provide you with a whole toolbox of tools for success, but ultimately you’re the only one who can put in the effort to be successful. Giving endless free passes isnt helping anyone, but neither is high standards without support.

      1. Yes! My local high school has this, but it’s not about equity. It’s just another way to remove any friction from parents’ and students’ lives and results in a large group of kids doing the bare minimum on a pile of assignments the week before end of term, and passing along to the next grade.
        Honestly, those kids’ parents need the accountability as much as the students do. We offer a ton of support, but I can’t force the student who won’t come into tutoring.

        1. I should add that very few of the students ts who do go on to college manage to complete all 4 years. When we ask why they struggled/dropped out, it is nearly universally a failure to adjust to deadlines when combined with slightly (these kids aren’t going to super selective colleges) increased rigor. They are plenty smart, but never developed the “muscle” to power through their work when life/friends/video games happened.

      3. I wish public schools had the resources that private school did to provide a whole toolbox of tools. My public school experience was basically babysitting.

    11. I swear people who make up these policies don’t know anything about being poor.

      I’m not surprised that your article says 80% of the teachers of color and 80% of the teachers who served economically disadvantaged students were against at least one of the policies.

        1. Even if that were true, it would be less detrimental than you might think. Most students, IME, would benefit in the long run, even when going into STEM careers from better algebra foundations than from getting through calculus before graduating high achool.
          I’ve seen so many college students crash and burn because their algebra fundamentals were shaky.

          1. I’m so skeptical that the goal or outcome here was more rigorous math instruction from more qualified instructors.

        2. FWIW, calculus isn’t banned in CA (at least not yet). There is a push to get rid of Algebra 1 in eighth grade, which is ridiculous and disadvantages all public school students (rich and poor). However, banning Algebra 1 is not going very well because there’s been significant parent pushback at the same time as declining enrollment.

          1. Algebra in 8th grade should return to a place where it is test-in and kids are vetted to have the fundamentals necessary to succeed. It should not be the default, as most kids aren’t ready for it yet. The quickest way to make a kid hate math is to put them in over their head with no hope of catching up.

          2. It’s not a default in my kids’ school, and that’s probably for the best given the shaky math skills of some students. But there’s a push from the far left to get rid of Algebra 1 in 9th altogether. That’s not appropriate.

    12. In the context of not penalizing children who are struggling to exist, this sounds well-meaning.

      In the situation where my C-suite coworker whose son attends a pricy private school where the adults are horrified at the idea of telling Little Jimmy “no” even in the gentlest of terms, I better understand why our society is the way it is.

      1. I think yes, it’s a pot-stirring comment, but also that we should care about things even if they don’t directly affect us.

        1. I don’t think it’s pot stirring – it’s an interesting, relevant discussion for the modern world.

          1. I definitely learned a lot, having been out of school for so long. I don’t have any insight, but I find it at least encouraging that schools are trying out different ways and new methods, even if some of them end up not being effective. I guess I can say that cause it’s not my kid being failed.

      2. “Also, it doesn’t affect you so why do you care?” is just a long way of saying “shut up.”

    14. Honestly I kind of like it? A huge chunk of academic work when I was a kid was really just about the parents doing the kids’ work. I’m taking about projects and presentations that always required a trip to a store, knowledge that kids don’t have, use of printers , ect. I remember a kid broke down crying once during some dumb presentation because his mom had been out of the country on business so his presentation wasn’t really done and the teacher was angry. I was thinking of course this is impossible without your mom around. A deadline where all the work is done at school feels reasonable because then the teachers can help reach time management and adjust if a kid has missed school. But they need to stop assigning things that they expect the parents to do and grading the kids on it.

        2. Can they? I got the highest rated Amazon one and the Bluetooth is tricky, it glitches out and basically stinks. I doesn’t make poster board quality prints. Not sure what a “good” mom would have handy but yeah it would be a trip to staples if someone had an oak tag style presentation due.

        3. My elem school kids do not have access to printers at school and I think that’s pretty common.

    15. I think it’s terrible, personally degrading, and setting kids up for failure and to think of themselves as failures. It’s one thing to offer flexibility to a specific kid you know is struggling. It’s another to paint all poor, black, or otherwise historically underserved kids with the same brush.

      1. Exactly. Letting a kid who you know is experiencing violence at home slide on assignments is great. Truly, none of us would object to that. Setting a blanket policy of no grades for anyone no matter the reason is awful. This should be the exception, not the rule, but it really should be an exception that gets used in situations where it’s needed.

    16. I always find discussions like this fascinating. My parents were wildly neglectful and I often had to walk 3 miles on sketchy back roads or I would hitch hike (so dangerous but there was a nice nurse who seemed to realize if she picked me up she was protecting me from predators). I don’t know if the resilience is a good thing or if I should have occasionally been able to miss a school deadline without being punished.

    17. Did I read a different article than everyone else? The article makes no mention of economically disadvantaged children.

      1. It also states that there are several different practices that fall under the big umbrella of equitable grading and while many schools use one or two of them, very few (only ~2% adopt all). so a lot of the catastrophizing above seems fairly overblown.

    18. My kids’ high school does some equitable grading stuff, but the effect is pretty mild for kids in honors and AP classes. They need to learn about deadlines, but I think that allowing some late work in some circumstances isn’t the end of the world (especially when you have so much information and so many parents are willing to help their kids argue deadlines/grade-grub). I also appreciate that every teacher sets out grading standards and assignments in writing, which would have helped me a LOT in school because I wasn’t the best at remembering deadlines that were announced in class.

      That said, I think equitable grading results in social promotion for kids who do not give one g*d*mn because not doing work (in most classes) means you get a 50, not a 0. So you have some kids who do exactly as much work as needed to pass. I wish that didn’t happen, but motivating a teenager is way harder than motivating a little kid. Frankly, I wish we had a school-leaving certificate system like the UK so kids who didn’t want to be there didn’t have to stick around from 16 to 18.

      The principals at their school are exactly the sort of people that like having low standards because then they can have great “numbers” that show high graduation rates and test scores (if the test is easy then everyone gets an A!)

    1. Those folds would be great for carrying around lunch crumbs in case I get hunger pangs later in the day.

    2. Haha, the aughts are back. I don’t mean for this to sound snarky but there is a strain of comments here lately that just sound “old” – I am 44 so I get it, I lived through it the first time, too, but that doesn’t make it dated. It’s just what younger people are wearing now because they don’t have the same associations that you do.

          1. receptionist as in: well dressed to represent the company to clients and visitors?

          2. Ehh, I’d say as in thinking they’re meeting the professional workwear norms but missing the mark.

      2. yeah, there’s a fine line between something being dated, and what’s actually a current iteration of something that was popular 20 or more years ago, and I think it depends on the style and the age of the wearer.

        This shirt looks so close to the actual version sold in stores in the early 2000s that it would fall on the dated side if I wore it, looking like I haven’t refreshed my wardrobe in recent memory… but if a 25yo is wearing it, everyone KNOWS they didn’t buy that shirt 20 years ago, and so it works. Shrug.

        1. This. I work with some cute, fashionable, young attorneys who wear stuff like this with chunky loafers and they just look like cute, fashionable, young attorneys. I also know an 80 year old who loves tops like this and it’s great on her too. I think middle age is when you have to be a little more careful with clothing but nothing dated about this inherently.

      3. This is so true. I thought the same thing yesterday when someone asked about high-stance, 3 button jackets. Lots of comments about how dated those are when in fact they’re quite on-trend.

  7. How do credit cards for college students work these days? My 18-year-old sophomore is an authorized user on one of my credit cards, but I’d like her to have her own card to start building her own credit history. She worked full-time last summer and expects to do so again this summer. She also has a low-hours on-campus job during the academic year. Is there a way for her to get her own card? If I have to co-sign, will she still be building her own credit history? I can’t find any articles explaining how today’s student cards actually work, just ads for card applications.

      1. She doesn’t have loans. She got merit scholarships and we are cash-flowing the rest.

    2. P.S.: The purpose of building her credit history now is to enable her to rent her own apartment when she graduates.

          2. Have you recently rented an apartment? The only thing available without credit check or guarantor are big infested rooms from slum lords.

          4. Trust me, I’m a landlord and you don’t need to be getting your kid a credit card to build their credit score.

            I have kids who rent from me with ‘no credit score’. They get a 550 or lower. I read the detail. I check their employer is legit and their income is verified with their employer. I also sometimes check with their college if they are enrolled on a PT basis that they are a student in good standing.

            What I do see are kids in your child’s situation building a credit score by paying their utilities on time and making sure they aren’t overdrawn at the bank.

    3. I think it’s easy enough to get a credit card still but also just as easy to get in trouble with them. When I was in college my mom had me open up an american express charge card which had to paid off in full every month which was a good way for me to build credit history while also being responsible.

    4. I don’t mean to sound snarky, but she can get one the same way all other adults can.

    5. can’t she just apply for a regular credit card? Presumably she would get a low limit based on her income and history.

    6. When I was in college, my parents had me open a credit card through our credit union under my own name and account. $1000 limit, low interest. Really only used for emergencies and to build credit history until I graduated and got a real job.

    7. It was 10 years ago, but my kids just applied for cards once they were 18. They both ended up with cards with pretty low credit limits, so they were also authorized users on one of my cards for more costly emergencies, and I had spent the previous 18 years teaching them good spending and savings habits. They both still have those cards and their credit limits have been raised numerous times since then. If I remember correctly, one of them has a Discover and the other one has a VISA.

    8. Most banks have cards for this purpose (look for student, starter or secure cards) designed to build credit. Very important it’s used as intended so it doesn’t have the opposite effect.

    9. Without a credit card, how do kids use apple pay? None of them seem to use cash. My kid needs a bank account apparently to sell some clothes on depop. I told her to look around to see what no-fee account she can get and what the minimum balance is and will not hold my breath waiting for her to get back to me. [Our kid has a Greenlight debit card that we opened for her 5 years ago — she may be outgrowing it, but I’m not sure what the next step is for a kid who is still <18.]

      2. A regular debit card linked to her bank account, which is where her summer job paychecks are deposited to.

    10. She can sign up for a secured card. It will become unsecured with good payment history.

    11. How about a secured credit card, like from Discover? Some require a down payment, but an applicant can be 18 and start building credit. Lots of banks offer secured credit cards, too.

      1. Came here to say this. When you add someone as an authorized user, they inherit however many years you have had the account open. From the article anon linked to: When an account to which you’ve been added as an authorized user appears on your credit reports, so does its payment history. If you are a relatively new credit user, an authorized-user account can add years of payments to your credit history, and if those payments were all made on time, they can benefit your credit scores significantly.

    13. She gets credit history for being an authorized user on your card. My son has a Prime card that only he uses, although it is in my name with him as an authorized user. It is paid automatically from my checking account, so I know it is being paid, and I can keep tabs on it.
      My daughter got her own a few years earlier through USAA. It was easy because she was automatically a member once she turned 18. She had no credit history at the time. We did not go that route for my son because he needed one that worked better internationally because he was headed for a study abroad, and we knew the Amazon Prime card would work in China.

  8. Yesterday, my team finished one of the biggest projects it works on all year. It’s probably our most visible, too. Haven’t heard a thing from my boss yet. Not one acknowledgment that we busted our tails and turned out a really good product. Look, I’m sorry to be that person, but it’s sucky and it hurts. I had already been questioning my value at work, and I can’t think of a clearer sign that she does not care.

    1. It’s before noon the day after even if you’re on the east coast. Before 9 am if you’re on the west coast. Chill. If you don’t hear anything by the end of the week, then get upset.

      1. Project was done this time yesterday, and she is in the office. It definitely feels like a slight.

        1. At least you acknowledge that you are being “this person.” That’s not a bad thing, but you’ll be happier if you don’t rely on other people to celebrate your hard work. You know your value and the value of your team. That’s awesome.

          1. Eww now. Come on. Wanting acknowledgement of your hard work by your supervisor at your job is entirely reasonable. You’re really going to tell a woman that external recognition for accomplishments at work doesn’t matter because she **kNoWs HeR oWn WoRtH!** Lemme guess, you also don’t think women should advocate for more compensation and should be satisfied knowing that they contributed to the team? What’s more awesome than being a team player, amirte!?

          2. Maybe OP didn’t get enough love as a child or something, but most women simply do not need immediate pats on the head from their boss.

          3. Imagine coming on to a board for overachieving women and mocking another woman like this. It’s so condescending and awful.

        3. Hi, I’m your boss. I fully intend to acknowledge your good work, but I feel like it deserves more than a “great work team!” email, and I haven’t had time to give it the care and attention I think it deserves yet because I have some other stuff on my plate, too. Please give me more than exactly 24 hours to turn around a meaningful appreciation.

    2. Are you the team leader or just a team member? If you are the leader, don’t expect any acknowledgement from your boss. It’s your job to recognize the team and to trumpet the team’s achievements up the chain of command.

    3. Obviously you know your boss better than I. In my case, I’ve let immediate feedback slip a day or two because the project was large enough and required so much effort that I wanted to devote time to providing meaningful feedback and thanks. The better course of action, of course, is to immediately acknowledge all the hard work and say that I looked forward to digging in.

      1. I don’t think that’s inherently the better course of action. Either is fine if your direct report isn’t looking for ways to feel wounded.

          3. So mean. Obviously OP is only posting this because it’s a chronic problem with yet another slight. I think we can trust that she isn’t going ballistic because a normally thoughtful boss slipped up once.

    4. Are the other reasons you’re feeling unvalued at work fixable, or probably unfixable?

      I’d be willing to bet that if you were feeling valued, appropriately compensated, had opportunities to advance, your work was treated seriously, whatever else is going on, the timing of a “great work team!” (or format – some bosses are more “immediate compliment on the slack channel” people and some are more “shout-out at the all-team” people) would not feel so high stakes

      1. Yeah, this.

        I’m with you, OP! My boss has never acknowledged a thing I’ve done and it sucks and I’m not being overly sensitive or “looking for ways to feel wounded.”

      2. OP here. Probably unfixable, honestly, but I’m not in a great position to switch jobs at the moment. It is one of a long list of slights. We’ve worked together a long time; I don’t think this is something I’m inventing in my imagination.

        I do praise my own team, btw.

        1. Ah, been there in the “don’t feel valued but can’t jump ship” job and it’s a tough spot to be in.

          I’m sure you know this, but if you’re also the person below saying it’s public health, I can imagine your boss is also under a lot of pressure/maybe demotivated/maybe stressed about trying to keep as much of the team as possible, given *everything these days*. That doesn’t make it easier to keep going without affirmation, but sometimes I find it easier to cut people slack if I imagine the most sympathetic possible explanation for people

          And kudos from an internet stranger for hanging on in a tough environment, and doing what’s in your power to encourage your team!

    5. Is this routine? Or is it possible your boss is tied up on some year-end emergency and wants to thank you guys properly vs fire off a quick thanks!!!? Or maybe she asked for some special bonuses for the team and is waiting to hear if they were approved before saying anything? idk, you know your boss, but taken in a vacuum you seem a little petty here.

      1. adding though, if I received absolutely no feedback from my boss at all for a major project, I would also be annoyed. It’s just the short time frame here that has us saying hmmm.

      2. Ha — we work in the public sector. There are no bonuses or monetary rewards. Heck, we didn’t even get raises this year or COL adjustments. Getting some verbal or emailed recognition is sort of the least that leadership can do.

      1. I get that you’re quoting a TV show as your version of sage advice, but to all the people piling on OP, do you actually think that failing to acknowledge your team’s accomplishments is good management? I truly don’t believe that the ostensibly educated women who post here actually feel like wanting acknowledgement — something more than a paycheck– is unreasonable. Seems like lots of you just want to kick someone when they’re down, which is really sad.

        1. We think that expecting to be recognized in less than one business day is unreasonable, not that expecting to be recognized at all is unreasonable.

          1. And maybe OP thinks they did great work, but *perhaps* her boss needs to know how it’s received by her chain of command in case there’s a re-work that needs to happen.

          2. Then why not say that, instead of “that’s what the money is for”?
            We don’t know much about OP’s project, team, boss, or work environment. Given that, how can you say that it’s per se unreasonable to expect some kind of acknowledgement in one business day? You can’t. You don’t know.

            What grosses me out about almost this entire thread is how many people have jumped at the chance to interpret OP in the most uncharitable manner possible: implying she’s in the wrong and making herself miserable by seeking external validation, saying she didn’t get enough love as a child, saying that she that she “needs head pats” unlike most women, that she’s being unreasonable in her expectations on timing, she’s looking for ways to feel wounded… y’all are awful today.

  9. I spotted a Clare V necklace that I love, but it’s more expensive than anything I’ve ever bought myself before. Does anyone have information on the quality of their jewelry?

    2. I have a couple pieces and I consider it “demi-fine” (aka nicer costume). I got a bracelet and wore it in the shower, sleeping, etc for about 6 weeks and while it went from sparkling brand new to clearly worn it didn’t get tarnished or dinged or anything.
      If you have a coupon or can get a code I recommend that!

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