Coffee Break: Claw Clip

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1. I have been shopping for a couch and have accumulated a lot of aniline leather and performance velvet swatches. To me, they are a lovely color-harmonizing bit of square treasures that really coordinate with what I wound up putting in the room. I could lay them out like a quilt and it would be a lovely piece of abstract work to put on the wall. But how to do this? I am not used to working with leather and have no idea how to fabricate this. But it would be such a waste to throw all this out especially when the colors go well and I have a big blank wall behind the couch. Help me with the craft piece of all craft pieces (for me). I can knit and embroider and do a bit of needlework, but this feels beyond me. I need a quilting fairy godmother (I think) and maybe a framer (that I can find locally). I don’t think that glue is the answer here.

   1. What about not sewing them together at all, and just pressing them between glass, so that there’s a small bit of space between each piece? A frame shop could 100% do that.

      1. That sounds like a great idea. Maybe put a piece of deckle-edge paper behind it all and let it “float” in the frame.

         1. A lot of my art is framed in the “floating” style. My friend is a fine artist and likes to cut out shapes after she’s painted them, and then basically scotch tapes or sticky glues them them to an un-cut piece of mat board (the stuff they cut framing mats out of). Once you put the glass on top and close up the frame, the pieces stay put.

            It would be fun to put together a fabric swatch layout in this style, I think.

   2. I would be tempted to get a big blank canvas, paint it a background color that complements your decor and the swatches, and then artfully tack the swatches onto the canvas with some interesting thread, copper wire, whatever interests you. Maybe add a little fold when tacking them down for some 3-D interest?

      My upholstery fabric samples have been great for sewing little coin purses and sleep masks. Some were large enough that I was even able to sew pillow covers with the swatches.

   3. Caroline Winkler on you tube did a very similar project a while ago and filmed it – if you look her up, you may be able to find how she put it all togther.

   4. If the velvet doesn’t ravel, I would consider gluing them to a solid backing, like glass or plexiglass, rather than trying to stitch them unless you already have a pretty heavy-duty sewing machine. You are going to need special needles for the leather. Doing it by hand also seems like a PITA that might require an awl and some heavy duty needles, and then you would need a way to get the seams to lay flat. Rubber cement actually works really well with leather and suede – coat both things you want to attach, let dry fully, and then stick together. Or if that soaks through the velvet and looks bad, try spray adhesive (just on the backing), or even use foamcoare that has a sticker coating on one side on the backing. Then you can pop it into a frame.

2. How do you get over mistakes at work? I made one a few weeks ago and the partner gave me the most passive-aggressive dressing down and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

   1. I feel that there are mistakes and then MISTAKES. Did you amputate the wrong leg? Or just be careless in a way that reflects poorly on you that you might avoid if you just buckled down on process and procedures and not multi-taking? It should be a come-to-Jesus moment for you to reflect on so it’s a one-off and not the beginning of them giving up on you to learn from criticism.

   2. I try to remember that mistakes are a learning opportunity that get you closer to greatness. Every successful person has made an embarrassing amount of dumb mistakes.

   3. partners don’t think associates are infallible, but if you don’t learn from a mistake and take it seriously, that’s where the trouble is. Demonstrate you’ve learned and move on with head held high.

   4. Repeat after me: Everybody makes mistakes. Also, if you owned it, that was a win. The real trouble comes when you try to cover it up.

      1. Agreed, and it is so important for senior people to say this (and mean it) to younger employees, so they feel comfortable coming forward with mistakes immediately. When I was a junior associate the scariest most no-nonsense senior partner shocked me by taking this approach when people made (report yourself to your professional indemnity insurance level) mistakes. He took it seriously but was never angry and didn’t make you feel stupid or belittled. It made a big impact on me and how I approach more junior people now.

         OP: as long as you owned the mistake, learned from it and don’t repeat it, there is a 99% chance it will be forgotten very shortly, even by the dressing-downer.

   5. Sometimes I feel better when I realize how bad my co-workers are at remembering details. There’s a chance your mistake will be forgotten too. Once I made a judgement call on a project that resulted in a serious 1-1 conversation where I was told in no uncertain terms that I had been wrong. Later, this person couldn’t even remember I had worked on that project. The details will be seared into your mind, but they might not last in other people’s. If you maintain a solid relationship and show willingness to learn/take accountability, that’s what will carry you through.

   6. I made some sort of error in my first couple of years of practicing. I apologized or somesuch to the partner and, decades later, I’ve never forgotten his response: To them (the other partners), you’re as good as the last thing you did. His point was that my error would be forgotten as soon as I did something good and, indeed, it was. So just do a really good job on your next project. I left that firm several years later, and they were very sad to see me go.

   7. Lmk when you figure it out, because I still remember an embarrassing moment from 2021!

3. Any recommendations for cleaning a blowout on a couch that doesn’t have removable covers? Fml.

   1. Rent an upholstery extractor, or if you have a wet/dry shop vac, take the filter out and use the wet function.

   2. Get rid of it.

   3. Or just call Stanley Steemer or similar upholstery cleaning service. It’s worth it.

   4. I’ve dealt with cat pee on a couch before and it’s rough. Wash off as much as you can and if it still shows or smells, call a professional upholstery cleaner. If that doesn’t get all the smell out, you might have to replace the inner cushion. Our local upholsterer was surprisingly able to do this for about $300, which is a lot cheaper than the $800 room and board quoted me (and a lot cheaper than a new couch).

   5. A Bissell little green carpet and upholstery cleaner will probably get it out. Use the hottest water you can get out of your faucet and no cleaner at first. If that doesn’t work, mix up Oxy Clean with hot water, spray it on there, let it sit and then hit it again with the steam. Another option is My Pet Peed, which you can get online. I have not used it for human anything, but between the Bissell Little Green and MPP, my rugs look fabulous despite my puppy.

   6. Bissell little green + Lysol Laundry sanitizer. One of my kids was nicknamed bazooka butt.

      1. 🤢

4. I’m looking for a reasonably stylish weekend jacket to wear outdoors in the spring, when temps are maybe high 40’s to low-60’s. I already have a trench coat for work and some casual situations. What styles and colors should I be looking for?

   1. I may be a basic B for this, but my hip-length quilted Burberry has been serving me faithfully for 15+ years for this temp range. Plenty of non-designer versions around still. Barbour-style barn jackets are also a perennial.

      For a less classic and more trendy look, I’d look at cropped styles. Since I’m long-waisted to begin with, these are not a practical coat choice for me vs. hip-length or longer styles, but I envy those who can pull off the little bomber jackets or swingy cropped trenches and still cover their waistband!

      1. I’m a pretty basic B in my Barbour barn jacket and a Barbour rain coat. I adore how many pockets Barbour builds into their coats so those are always the ones I reach for if I’m running errands around town.
         The ‘in’ jacket is a cropped trench this year but I’m rarely that put together on the weekend. I’m not in the brunches/farmers market/shopping on the weekends stage of my life right now.

   2. I have a denim jacket that is perfect for when I need a casual layer in shoulder season weather.

   3. Barn jackets were trending for this purpose in the fall. I got a nice one at Old Navy, of all places.

      1. In a similar vein, I think field or utility jackets in neutral colors such as tan or olive are a classic look (although I am not sure if they are considered stylish). Those terms may be synonymous with barn jackets although I think utility/field jackets are typically longer (which I prefer), but the term may vary by designer.

   4. I don’t know if it’s stylish, but the lululemon Always Effortless jacket is a very comfortable and functional casual piece.

   5. If you can handle more practical and less trendy, I’ve been eyeing this.

      https://www.landsend.com/products/squall-packable-waterproof-raincoat/id_343214?attributes=43307,43326,43398,44256,44967,46353

      Please note that my personal style is not trendy, and I also walk my dog a lot so practicality is very high on my list of priorities. That said, though the lighter colors may show wear more quickly, I think I have my hear set on the lilac color.

   6. I like the Antonio Melani anorak jackets at Dillard’s. They aren’t too sporty.

5. Athletic wear — specifically leggings and yoga pants — how are we getting the smells out? I wash them with Nathan’s detergent, and sometimes use vinegar or spray them with Shout, and they still smell. I always wear undies. Brands range from Old Navy and Baleaf to Title 9 and Athleta.

   1. Go to the laundry subreddit
      the chemistry is not 100% but they’ve done an acceptable job making it digestible for laypeople.

      1. Yes! I love the spa day routine. I just do the 8-hour pre-soak with Biz and then wash with Biz+detergent normally. It’s making a HUGE difference in my clothes.

   2. I use sodium percarbonate. I buy it on Amazon. Just a few tablespoons right in the washer. I read the laundry love book and have been using it ever since.

   3. I love this brand. I use their pet detergent for everything – their enzyme blend is strong enough to clean pet messes it will be able to handle anything that i get on my clothes. Food, sweat, random fluids.

      https://www.amazon.com/Active-Wear-Laundry-Detergent-Performance/dp/B07L8NJY8W/ref=sr_1_1_sspa

      https://www.amazon.com/Pet-Laundry-Detergent-Odor-Remover/dp/B0CTS2SPMX/ref=sr_1_4_sspa

   4. Hex detergent.

   5. First, stop using fabric softener if you haven’t already.
      Try a laundry sanitizer (I use Lysol – don’t use every wash b/c it can be hard on fabrics).
      Air dry in the sun if possible.
      Soak overnight in oxyclean using really really hot water, then wash as usual.

   6. I’ve had good luck with Hex Laundry Detergent for workout gear.

   7. Make sure the sweaty clothes fully air dry before you toss them in the hamper.

   8. I use SportX detergent with success. Be sure you are allowing sweaty pieces to dry and not just throwing in the hamper. I also hang dry after washing. Also, truth is that gym clothes sometimes just need to be tossed & replaced.

6. Boston restaurant recommendations? I’m thinking of going for 3-5 days in May. Looking to stay in/around Beacon Hill.

   1. I love my city. That said, that’s the middle of the college graduation cycle. Not to say you can’t still come, but just know you can’t book last minute. Start your hotel search now. Dinner reservations will get harder and harder to make as people plan their celebrations. Just go in eyes wide open to that date. What kind of trip are you looking for? Historic? Cultural – key landmarks and museums? Food (we’re not known for food but we have some staples!)..

      1. +1 horrible time to visit a college town, which Boston basically is.

         1. It will be fine. Have fun, OP!

   2. For fancy dinners – Contessa (make a reservatation ASAP), Scampo, Mistral, or Bistro du midi. For seafood my personal favorite is Neptune’s in the north end. I think Cambridge has more interesting food than Boston proper these days. Visit Chinatown if you don’t have one in your hometown. There are good Chinese options in Boston but the food isn’t at the same level of SF or NYC if that’s your benchmark.

   3. Redbones in Somerville for fun BBQ, Cambridge Common for casual lunch.

7. Shaping camis with bras – any favorites? I have one from Honeylove that I like although I feel like my (38G) boobs feel like they’re slipping. I need a new one in a different color to wear under some sheer sweaters I got on sale — is Honeylove the best it gets? Prefer not to wear a bodysuit, but if someone raves about it I’d probably try it lol.

   1. I’m your exact bra size. I have never had any luck with anything with a built in bra unless I’m talking about sleepwear/loungewear. For wearing to work, I like a “wear your own bra” shaper tank that has a cutout for the bra area. I’ve had Spanx brand in the past. Don’t know about this brand in the link, but it’s what I could find quickly.

      https://www.target.com/p/secret-solutions-women-s-plus-size-power-shaper-firm-control-wear-your-own-bra-shaper-tank/-/A-93328659?preselect=93328666#lnk=sametab

   2. Try Evelyn & Bobbie. After breast cancer, I started wearing their bras and camis, and I love them (34G). They are best non-underwire for lift and separatation.

   3. I’m in m0d jail. Look for a shaping cami with cutout for the bust area. Target has one you can find by searching “wear your own b r a shaper tank” without the spaces.

8. I am considering consulting an attorney as I try to get some compensation due to me from my former employer. I was 100% commission based and deal closed and a commission was paid after my departure that all sides have agreed that I’m due. They’re sitting on it for no good reason, a reason that is both arbitrary and only they can control, and we’re going on two months now when payout is generally immediate.

   I’m not at the point of calling an attorney yet but what could I expect in terms of cost if I wanted a consult and something like a demand letter written? The amount in question is approx $40k, but could reach $60k if the second half of the deal closes this week, and I’m in MA if that matters. Like the loosest of ballparks for an estimate would be helpful. TIA.

   1. Do you have friends in your extended circle who work for small to medium law firms? You may just want a stern letter “on letterhead” to send them. I think I paid something like $3500 for this a couple of years ago. (And it worked!)

      Good luck to you.

   2. I would estimate something in the low 4 figures, like $2500-$4K, for the couple of hours of time it would take to consult and draft a demand letter, assuming it’s a small-medium size firm where the partner’s time is under $1K per hour.

   3. If I had insurance for moonlighting, I would do it for you for a small fee. (Barred in MA.)

9. I take Lexapro, I pray, I meditate and I am still a jerk to people. The more I try to be calm when I am annoyed the more bitter I sound. I am trying so hard to be nicer and more accepting but I think I need a job where there are no humans. For what it is worth, I expect a lot from myself as well.

   1. I think you also need therapy.

   2. Prayer made me bitter. Once I stopped forcing my atheistic self to pretend to have faith, I liked who I was so much more. Less anger, more love, compassion, and tolerance.

      Maybe not applicable to you, but it helped me tremendously.

   3. I think your last sentence is the key. Learn to have compassion for yourself and then you may be better able to extend it to others.

      1. I appreciate the responses. I was feeling so down on myself after being not nice to my assistant. She lets things roll off her back, thankfully, but she didn’t deserve my condescension.

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