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Weekend Open Thread: Adidas

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Gazelle sneaker with hot pink stripes and a dark navy? green? solid part

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

If you're a fan of Adidas, there are a bunch of styles and colors on sale at Nordstrom right now. I've been pulled by all of the fun, bright colors.

These “Aurora Ivy and Shock Pink” sneakers are in the sale, along with some other really fun colors as well as some more neutral basics.

These (the Gazelle) were $120, but are now marked down to $89. It may have to be an “add to cart” kind of day…

Sales of note for 4/24:

157 Comments

  1. Following up on the Aldi/Trader Joes discussion I thought it may be fun to see how people grocery shop and how it varies by geography.
    I live in NYC, household of 3 with a toddler. For our grocery shopping, I primarily go to the fruit/veggie store, the butcher for meat, an independent Middle Eastern store for dry goods and pantry stuff, a fish monger for fish/seafood, a local bakery for bread, and the local cheese shops for cheeses or crackers. I may go to a regular grocery store for things like waffles and pouches, but my normal approach is to go to multiple stores on Sunday morning to buy food for the week. We spend around $150-200 per week and eat out 1-2x per week (depending on how robust my meal planning has been).
    What do other people do?

    1. Urbanite. I do the bulk of my shopping at the regular store between my office and home on my walking commute home. I go to China Town about once a month for Asian staples (noodles, Yuba, seaweed, Bao, etc) and the Indian grocer once a month for legumes and curry staples. Household of 2, vegan diet. I spend about $100/week.

    2. Mostly Whole Foods because it’s walking distance and has a good variety of stuff. I’m not someone who enjoys grocery shopping or wants to spend weekend time on it so we’re pretty utilitarian about it. We also occasionally go to Trader Joe’s for frozen convenience foods, order a few specialty items from an overpriced grocery delivery service, and stop for things like milk at a random local grocery store near the daycare. We spend way too much on food because we’re in the Bay Area, we do mostly organic for stuff we eat at home, and we eat out a fair amount.

    3. Semi-rural – I go to the grocery store once/week and buy everything we need. One grocery run every other month is a Costco run for groceries, paper goods, alcohol, etc. Farmers market weekly when we have one (Aug – Nov). We get pizza or thai about once a week. Family of 4, two athletic teenage boys, gluten free – we spend about $350 – 400 per week on food.

    4. Philly (as in the city, not burbs)-
      -1x a week to TJs for prepared foods and some produce
      -1x a week to Reading Terminal Market for butcher, produce
      -1x or 2x a month to a regular grocery store depending on the sales
      -1x a month to south Philly for good cheese and fishmonger
      -About 1x a month to specialty stores like Nuts To You
      -Periodic online orders from Target or Walmart for household stuff like TP, cleaning products
      -Takeout usually 1x every 2 weeks

      1. In Center City too – I do a Walmart+ delivery order (got the idea from here, thank you!) 1x a week and supplement with my horrible Acme for one off’s I’ve forgotten.

        I go to Trader Joe’s or Costco quarterly to stock up. I also get alcohol in Jersey on this trip.

        In the nice weather I’ll occasionally supplement with a farmer’s market, the Asian market, or Reading Terminal but that’s not regular for me.

    5. I envy you. I live in a city that has been hollowed out by suburbs and their huge supermarkets over the last 50 years. The distinctive architecture of the former independent grocery stores in the downtown core still exists but these structures have been converted to other uses. These were tiny places (only 2 aisles!) and yet they used to have meat counters with an actual butcher behind them! What few grocery stores now exist in walking distance downtown know that their primary customers don’t have other options (transportation is expensive) so their parent chains unload their produce, meat, and bakery items that are past their prime at best, moldy at worst. It is, in a word, depressing unless you have the funds to shop outside of the downtown. I’m lucky to be able to drive to another neighbourhood to buy food at a co-op grocery store.

    6. I shop at Trader Joe’s (fish, nuts, some dairy products, some pantry items, some produce, only items that are cheaper and/or better than what traditional grocery stores carry) and Walmart Neighborhood Market (most other items) weekly. I buy organic dairy and meats, some organic produce and pantry items. I make occasional trips to Whole Foods for Bell & Evans chicken breast (the only brand I’ve found that isn’t “woody”) and to Publix for skyr, kombucha, and some specialty produce. Two adults in the suburbs of a midsize SEUS city, all meals cooked from scratch except for one restaurant dinner per week. Our grocery bill averages $325 per week. My husband eats keto and has an enormous appetite, and we eat a lot of expensive things like berries and fancy yogurt.

      I prefer smaller stores that focus on groceries to the gigantic stores like Publix and Kroger and Whole Foods that take forever to navigate and are full of junky non-food merchandise.

    7. We live in the suburbs in the SEUS. I go to the grocery store most weekends and buy our standard breakfast and lunch items, plus enough for 2-3 dinners. The rest of the week, DH swings by the store on his way home for whatever we happen to need.
      We also have about monthly trips to Costco (meat, wine, medication, household/cleaning products) and Trader Joe’s (frozen meals).

      We live within a few miles of 15 different supermarkets. I honestly have no idea how it’s possible for all of them to stay in business. Specialty stores near us are very good but very expensive, so more for special occasions. Farmers’ markets near us tend to sell expensive prepared food, with relatively few locally grown vegetables, despite us having a lot of nearby farms.

      We spend about $1250 per month on groceries, for a family of 3. (Groceries includes the household/ cleaning products we buy at Costco, but I try to separate out the wine into a separate budget category.) We eat out or get takeout 1-2x per week. We enjoy hosting brunch and dinner parties, so most months, we spend a fair amount feeding other people.

      1. SEUS, inner core where city meets residential, drive by a grocery store every day after the morning school run at 6:45 (school starts 7:15 (!!!)). Weekends I buy shelf-stable and pantry items. I probably stop in 3-4 other times as the weekly schedule unfolds (one week: 3 orchestra concerts). My kids eat a lot of takeout pizza, but I’m from the NYC area, so I think that that is how g-d intended us to live, especially if you have a working mother and no local family. I swear by canned diced potatoes, frozen broc that is steamable, making large batches of banana bread and slicing and freezing individually, etc. Also, cooking big buys of ground beef and freezing in portions so I can have something a bit more hearty in a hurry for when a meaningful portion of the family is home and can have a dinner in the dining room (otherwise, if we are at the counter, no one is looking at each other and it’s not awesome). Stews, pasta sauce, etc. My kids are teens and I am trying to have their remaining few years at home be really good ones. I spend $$$ on food but don’t have any paid help, so it’s the cost of doing business.

      2. There is a road in my town that has 3 Harris Teeters on a 3 mile stretch (and a Food Lion, Aldi, and Trader Joe’s in between). I truly have no idea how they all stay in business.

        1. Are they in different sides of the road? I can’t turn into the Publix because I’d have to do a I turn or make a weird side treck.

    8. I have been re-reading my copy of Hungry Planet recently and I find the different approaches to grocery shopping and food FASCINATING since it’s so mundane to each family and yet so different depending on where you live…

    9. For us, it’s 2-3 visits per week to our local Meijer (Midwest here), once a week to Aldi. Sometimes we also visit the non-membership restaurant supply store, but that’s usually for a larger event where we can really use BBQ condiments by the gallon. We don’t have a Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods. We do have a nice farmers market during warmer months and we visit that weekly.

    10. Canadian so it’s not entirely comparable but: household of 8 (five kids from 3-15), two parents and Au Pair. We have a quarterly meat/seafood delivery service for the freezer, a weekly vegetable and fruit box delivery, my husband does a twice weekly Costco shop for dairy, additional meat and a few misc, rotating pantry items. I shop at a local large chain grocery store every Saturday and favour one but also rotate to two others about once a month. We stop at the small grocery store on the corner probably once a week for some random item. We spend on average $500-$600 a week on groceries. We eat a lot of meat/seafood (usually 4lbs a day at a minimum ), a lot of eggs (100 a week), about 12 litres of milk, and loads of fruit and veg.

        1. I think individual actions matter a lot, but in the age of AI data centers literally sucking the earth dry just so people can stop using their brains as much, we do have bigger worries.

        2. sooooooo she should stop feeding her family…? I don’t know what you’re trying to say here

        3. Because she lives in a large household? It’s much more eco-friendly than one person living alone.

          1. Um, no. A lifetime of meat eating, etc. isn’t better. But I also wouldn’t pile on. Way bigger environmental impacts at an industrial level over individual any day.

      2. My grandmother had a chest freezer but our power goes out so often that I would be afraid to try (also: no basement/garage / back porch, which seems to be where those things go).

        1. idk how often your power goes out, but my chest freezer functions as a cooler for 2 days without power, assuming it’s at least 2/3 full. As I said in my comment, I cannot function without a chest freezer, but what I did not mention is that I have no garage or other storage space in which a chest freezer would traditionally be placed, so I just use it as a big ugly side table in the living room.

    11. Is the middle eastern place sahadi’s?Because that routine sounds like my old Brooklyn one.

      Now that I live in the suburbs I’m almost strictly a Trader Joe’s lady. I love that place. Cheese and flowers are more important to me than you can imagine. Im frequently taking “orders” for my parents and friends. I can’t handle a regular grocery store but occasionally supplement with a regular grocery delivery. My husband gets drinks and certain small snacks at target. We’re blessed with an amazing bakery next to an amazing coffee shop next to great produce grocer. So I’ll hit that sequence if it’s a fancy coffee week. There’s a great family run small supermarket with a great deli section near me but I joke I’ll have to get my hair done before I go. You always run into everyone there.

    12. Mid-south suburbs, 2 kids-my husband (SAHD) does the shopping, usually goes to Kroger in Fridays (extra fuel points that day) for most of our staples. Periodically goes to Costco (about 1/month) to stock up on a few things that are good deals there (meat, dog food, snacks). We will often get an idea for dinner and make a second trip on the weekends, either to Kroger or a fancier store or both.

    13. SEUS suburbanite. We go to Publix once a week . I pass both a Food Lion and Harris Teeter to get to the Publix as we’ve found it’s the best balance of price/availability/hassle (I don’t know who designed Harris Teeter’s checkout lanes, but I hate them). We used to have Kroger but they also closed when Harris Teeter bought them, and I miss them. We usually “cook” 4-5 nights a week (this is either real cooking with enough leftovers for 2-3 nights, or something an easy mostly frozen meal like frozen stuffed chicken breasts with a side salad) and eat out (or take out) 2. I will stop by Trader Joe’s every few weeks for miscellaneous items (I like their face soap and body lotion, eg). I go to the fancy olive oil/vinegar store a few times a year to stock up as I am snobby about my olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Every once and a while I’ll go to one of the Asian grocery stores or the butcher shop if I need something in particular that’s hard to find at Publix. The state farmer’s market has the best produce if it’s something in season, but it’s about a 25 minute drive, so I don’t go as often as I would like. I also have a pretty large garden and we eat a lot of veggies from that in the growing season (which here is like May-early November).
      We have considered shopping at Aldi to save money and decided it wasn’t worth having to take trips to multiple stores as they don’t have everything. We occasionally end up with a Costco membership because we need a major item and they had the best price (like outdoor furniture), but hardly ever go for regular grocery shopping as Costco is super busy and stressful as hell unless you go like right when they open during the week.

    14. Family of 5 in exurbs/small town. I go to Market Basket (local chain) for most things but Costco for large quantities of stuff like nutella, snacks for school, seltzer, etc., local fish store for fish, dairy delivery for milk, TJ’s for soup dumplings (my kids eat a LOT of these), and WF rarely. Farmers’ markets in the summer/fall. Meat from the local place or from the wholesale delivery (also for flour, butter, duck, etc.) – we started this during covid and keep it up now but less often. Sometimes I’ll go to Hmart or the indian grocery for jugs of soy sauce, garlic paste, etc., but that is less often (those places are also farther away).

    15. DINKs in a small town outside the CA Bay Area. I shop at a local independent organic food store for produce and meat/seafood, plus random staples when needed because it’s walking distance from my house. I shop at Safeway for pantry items and specific brand name things we like that the local store doesn’t sell. I go to Trader Joe’s once a month or so (it’s 30 mins away) for a few other pantry/frozen items.

    16. Suburbanite — we have a ton in our pantry and a second full-size freezer. I go to Costco about once a month (dropped $700 yesterday at “da club”, but that included a lot of allergy meds, Honey Baked Ham gift cards, 4 kinds of salmon, the good olive oil, etc). We also do a curbside pickup at the local grocery store about every 3 weeks for $250 or so, with occasional pop-ins for booze or milk

    17. I’m a working mom who lives in the suburbs. I order most of my food for delivery with Walmart +. It saves me so much time and hassle!! I also have Walmart’s credit card that gives me 5% off everything in the store. Sometimes my husband complains, “These bananas are green,” and I seriously do not care. Deal with it buddy. I am so happy to have one last errand off my plate and to get good deals in the process. We stop by a regular grocery store occasionally as well, and that can be nice for picking out better produce.

      1. Yeah I would eat more meat if I stopped by the local halal butcher or the farmer’s market more often, and I would save more money if I made it to the Asian “mart” nearest us, but curbside or delivered Walmart/Costco goes a really long way to just keeping us fed and doesn’t require car access or carrying things back in the weather.

    18. Live in the Mountain West, household of 3 with a toddler and another one on the way. I tend to buy staples (flour, sugar, meat, frozen fruits, goldfish, etc.) in bulk every 3-5 months, and do weekly grocery runs to the cheap grocery store (Winco) for things like fruit/veg/dairy. So when I bulk shop it costs me $200-$600 dollars (Macey’s caselot sale, Costco, a quarter steer from a local rancher, etc.), but my weekly trips average $25-$50 depending on what I’ve got planned. We also stock up at the Asian grocery store every 2-3 months, and that usually runs us $100. As you may have figured, I cannot function without a pantry and a chest freezer but our food costs are quite low. We have a slush fund for buying food on those crazy days when making dinner just isn’t going to happen, but that usually only happens 1-2 times a month. Lunch is almost always packed leftovers, but I budget $50/month each for my husband and me to buy a lunch as needed or desired.

    19. DINKs in Texas. Eat out about half of our meals. Grocery shop at Central Market once or twice a week for produce, meat, etc., HEB about every two weeks for non-fancy staples, and smaller grocery stores in chinatown for other spices, sauces, etc. once very couple months. Avoid Trader Joes parking lot like the plague.

      1. I’m convinced one of the requirements for new Trader Joe’s sites must be “have small and awkward parking lot,” because I have never been to a Trader Joe’s where there was sufficient/easy parking.

        3. Mine is literally attached to a multistory parking garage and the parking is still a nightmare!

      2. Central Market!!

        Former Texan here, and my love for Central Market has never waned. Alas.

    20. Midwest city, two adults who cook almost all meals at home, mostly vegetarian. Spend $500 per month on groceries. We go to Trader Joe’s every other week, supplemented by online orders for non perishables and household goods that aren’t sold at TJs (monthly from Amazon, a few times a year from Target, Penzey’s, and King Arthur Flour). I do a lot of my own baking, but do like to try different bread, so sometimes go to various local bakeries. We also have a small garden and get some produce at the farmers market in the summer.

    21. Small city Midwest. We spend about $250-350 per week for a family of 3 (2 adults, 1 elementary age kid) at our local grocery store, which is part of the Kroger chain. We eat out or takeout 1-2 times per week. We have a Trader Joe’s in the “big city” (not that big, but a real city) ~1 hour away and I go there about once a quarter to stock up on ready-to-eat things and their more unique shelf stable items. We don’t do any specialized shopping for meats, fish, produce, etc.

    22. I’m in a semi-gentrified neighborhood of Manhattan. When I lived in a bougier neighborhood, I shopped daily at specialty shops in my neighborhood, but that’s not feasible where I am now. Even when I’m in the old neighborhood I notice a lot of those little shops have closed.

      My big shopping trip each week is to my neighborhood farmer’s market, which is amazing. I get produce, meat, eggs, fish, tofu, grains, and some dairy there. Once every week or so I need to supplement with a supermarket run for pantry items, cleaning supplies, and things that don’t grow locally like citrus and avocados. Once a month I’ll go to a Trader Joe’s while I’m running other errands to pick up nuts, yogurt, various treats. There are two of us, no kids, and we eat at home most days. I spend around $300/week, but that includes cleaning supplies, wine, and beer.

    23. Urban, live in the city snd we use instacart for 99% of our shopping and only go in person if we’re hosting a dinner party and even then, instacart most of it.

    24. Misfits box; farmers market; a few things from an independent grocery store. We’re vegetarian and don’t spend nearly as much as the meat eaters here.

        1. I find that to be true as well. I’m feeding two high school athletes and a dh who competetively powerlifts. I’m vegetarian so we cook plenty of vegetables but their expensive.

        2. That’s also our experience. We’re not vegetarian but I hate handling raw meat so we rarely cook it at home. Fish once in a while, but that’s it. But fresh fruit and veggies are expensive — especially fruit.

    25. Suburban, family of 5 1x per week to Aldi ($50ish), 1x per month to Costco ($250ish), 1x per year butcher for a half cow and whole hog ($1200ish) (personally sourced from small farmers). I (and my mother) also have a robust gardens and preserve a variety of fruits and vegetables for year round consumption.

    26. SEUS city. I stop in a big grocery two or three times a week. There is one across the street from work and another on my way home, so I primarily shop there. I sometimes stop in a more local market for prepared food or some higher end items like steaks and particular yogurt. I also go to our local outdoor farmers market a couple of times a month on the weekend. About once a quarter I go to a big central international farmers market that is more like a big grocery to get some pantry staples, herbs and spices, and specialty items, which are all cheaper there. I also get a fair bit of specialty items a couple of times a year by mail order and I am part of the Bean Club. Party of one, but I often cook for others.

    27. CIty centre, Europe.

      I have seventeen different grocery stores within 10 minutes walking distance, the closest literally next door. There are at least six bakeries and a dollar store as well. The closest farmer’s market is within 15 minutes walking distance. I never go to Costco style places. I never shop by car. Most everyting is closed Sundays.

      I do a main shop on Saturdays, and may top up throughout the week, either from one of my locals, or from a specialty store closer to work, or from the farmer’s market.

    28. I shop for groceries two or three times a week, on the weekends, or after work, rotating around a Safeway, Giant, Harris Teeter, and Balducci’s near my suburban home, plus picking up a tub of outstanding hummus twice a month or so from a local Lebanese restaurant chain food storefront. On rare occasions I might shop at a German bakery or Italian specialty store or Asian mega grocery store (particularly for a crate of in-season satsuma tangerines in December). I used to belong to a CSA-adjacent coop that allowed me to pick and choose among an online menu for the week and thereby individually order fresh fruits and vegetables from a farmer’s coop for pick up nearby once a week, but they dropped out of the business over ten years ago. I miss them (the best goat cheese evah!). I feel I should cultivate a fish monger and a butcher, but animal protein is all so expensive these days., so I rarely eat beef and tend to eat tinned fish. Certain canned or packaged food staples I order online for delivery. Writing this all out, I’ve realized how boring this is, but it’s a comfortable, efficient, and mostly non-wasteful (of food and time) routine that has developed.

    29. We spend way too much on food. I go with my brother who is disabled once a week and I grab what I need at that time. Alternate between the Walmart less than a mile away or Publix. My husband or I will do the bigger shop once a week at the same stores and we do end up throwing away perishables. I hate Aldis and it is a far drive. We live in a smaller home so Costco is not the best option even though prices are great. My husbnad would like a second freezer and a walk in pantry but that is not our life. I don’t even know what we spend each week because counting it up would enrage me.

    30. I live in Australia in a village.
      We grow lots of our own fruit and veges; buy eggs from a neighbour’s farm stall and shop at the farmers’ market. Once a month we go to the big town Aldi and stock up on dog food, tinned and dry food. Coffee is on a reoccurring order. I join with neighbours and we buy bulk dry goods like spices, hemp seeds, tea and it gets delivered.

    31. West LA, two adults and two teenagers. Spouse does most of the shopping. He goes to Trader Joe’s a couple times a week for fresh stuff, then rounds that out with a Smart & Final* or Costco run most weeks. Because he tends to shop for “dinner tonight” as opposed to “stuff we need” like milk or paper towels, I wind up at Smart & Final or another local grocery store most weeks.

      *It’s somewhere between a restaurant supply store and a lower-cost/discount grocery store. I love it, the store brands are pretty high-quality but significantly cheaper than the big regional chains.

      1. I truly miss the Japanese grocery near my kids’ old dance studio. It’s just inconvenient enough that I rarely go to it now, even though it had really lovely produce and super-fresh fish. Also good snacks, premade sushi, deli sandwiches, cheap face masks…

  2. I really want to wear white pants and have a pair from Spanx that I bought last year on sale. Any tips? Wait until 4/1? Is there some magic to not spilling on yourself?

  3. Favorite WFH shoes? I have hardwood floors and work from home full time now. I want supportive, comfy shoes.

      1. Same! They are a crime against fashion and never leave my house. But they are so good as house shoes/slippers

    4. OOFOS in summer (I like the flip flops but they also have slides), shearling slippers in the winter when I’m cold (yes they make these with arch support).

    6. Wool socks in winter, barefoot in summer. My feet do not like to be contained if it’s not required.

      1. It’s the hardwood floors that sometime mean it’s required (or knees, hips, back will remind us even if our feet don’t!).

    8. Winter- the fur-lined Birks with socks. They’ve never gone outdoors.
      Summer- old Birks that still have support but the leather buckle part is worn. I washed the bottom of them to become house Birks.

  4. How much do you think unique baby names (think Brynnleigh, Paxtyn, etc) are a class marker? I was having a conversation with some friends about this and one admitted to thinking names in that vein can be “trashy” (not the specific ones I mentioned), but another friend said classic names that have maybe been considered more classy (Abigail, Daniel) are often considered dull now. My own thinking is that unique or classic doesn’t matter as much as spelling – if you use an out-there spelling, that causes more difficulties than using a straightforward spelling for an otherwise unusual name option.

    1. Classic names are not considered dull. Tragedeighs are definitely a marker of trashiness (and Mormonism or new money). Classic names are definitely upperclass, waspy, and Old Money.

        2. Plus a million. Why is a firmly middle class person always confidently explaining “old money”? I have zero desire to make people think my reasonable middle class lifestyle is some kind of “old money” class signifier. I’m sure the astors know I’m not their people. It’s cringey and weird to think you’re fooling other middle class people by driving an old Volvo and naming your daughter Elizabeth. To be clear, those things are not inherently cringey, doing them to be “old money” is.

          2. Awww no you didn’t. You just bragged about it a bunch of normies who couldn’t care less how classy your people think old khaki pants are.

          3. What if you are Old Money, drive an old Volvo, and name your kid Elizabeth?

            Asking for a friend.

        3. I am not old money by any stretch, nor do I aspire such an aesthetic. But I do enjoy whispering the phrase “old money doesn’t blow money” —which I heard here–to myself as a semi-facetious motivator not to buy crap I don’t need.

          1. There are plenty of people not born into wealth and privilege that also don’t waste money. Way, way more than old rich nepo babies.

          2. Okay? There are also plenty of people not born into wealth and privilege who do blow through money (for reasons! if it’s never going to amount to anything, and the future is uncertain, why not?), and people who should waste a little more money and stop living in a saved stuff pile.

          3. I’m not sure why you are getting blowback for this.

            Spending money can be deeply emotional. If you are tempted to keep up with the Joneses, then your mantra is probably very effective.

            Also, as a matter of literal logic, “If A -> not B, usually” doesn’t mean “if not A -> not B.”

          4. Good grief people, this was just meant to be a light hearted joke. Obviously. Who on earth seriously thinks that wealthy people are the only people who don’t waste money. Is that what I said? No. Nor did I draft a sweeping statement condoning “old money” spending/saving philosophies.

            Two people just being rude and difficult for no reason, intentionally reading in the worst possible interpretation (no matter how illogical!) and accusing people of saying things they didn’t say to cause conflict. That’s why there’s blowback. Happens all the time here, unfortunately.

    2. Agree that those spellings and unique names are a little lower SES. And agree with you on spelling needing to be straightforward for classic or the (former surname) first names.

    3. Tragedeigh spellings are definitely a marker of low class

      Unusual names can be an upper class thing. Lots of family/maiden names used as first names. I think that’s a southern thing too.

    4. I don’t know classy vs trashy. It’s not my call. But markers vary by social circle I think. In my high end area both classic and modern names are in. James and Ashton and Willow and Grace all go to school together. My kid plays sports in a very similar but less wealthy community where I’ve noticed they’re leaning into very ethnic names as kind of a throwback.; these people are not first generation Americans. So Rocco and Giovanna and Declan have parents named Jen and Joe in that community. It doesn’t seem to have caught on here even though everyone’s ethnic heritage is pretty similar. My kid has a family name, an English surname, so I’m sure people think I’m pretentious. I have no room to judge.

      1. Replying to myself to add my kid has plenty of friends with classic names and one or two that make you wonder why the parent isn’t worried how it looks on a resume. Then they invite your kid to a play date and you realize they’re so wealthy they don’t work and still live in a multi million dollar home. So yeah they weren’t worried about the resume. Maybe it’s the apple martin effect?

    5. The two unique names you list come off as what my grandmother would call “Confederate” regardless of spelling.

    6. Oh, 100%. I try but fail not to be really judgy at people who use awful spellings like that. Among my parent friend group, using “classic” names is more of a WASP/ancestry marker than an economic one.

      1. OP here and I tend to agree with the WASP point – have noticed the same where I live.

    7. A lot? But I think this is more fraught even than is obvious from calling any name trashy. When people have mixed feelings about historically imposed names, the result is not always a classic name, right? Sometimes alternative spellings are an attempt to reclaim a name and make it one’s own when the reason somebody speaks English and has English names in the family stems from a horrific tragedy that happened to a previous generation often followed by discrimination that hasn’t ended yet, but now it’s also part of the family’s heritage. I know people who had this as a conscious motivation for atypical spellings, as well as people who seemed to gravitate towards alternate spellings without articulating this reason.

      But if we want to invest in guarding privilege where we have it, it’s definitely classier and more privileged to not worry about a name sounding dull, if they’re names that have already demonstrated that they have staying power. Popularity can wax and wane some, but over time they have outlived other trends, and we’re classy and privileged, so we’re measuring time in centuries here.

      Or maybe we kind of want to stick it to that type of person and pick an especially flash-in-the-pan type of trendy name, because life is now, but if it comes to our ancestors, they were probably cool too.

      1. Yes this. So eloquently said. This is why my hackles get up whenever people are judgmental about name choices.
        I think recognizing and accepting a diverse range of names is part of accepting that everyone’s individual story and background is important. I don’t think anyone picks a child’s name frivolously.

    8. Those types of names are associated with a less-educated set of parents to me, especially the extra-“cutesy” ones.

    9. I read a study once that looked at the demographics of baby naming. Older mothers tend to pick more traditional/classic names while younger mothers tend to be more incentive with names and spellings. As an older mother, I found this to be an interesting tidbit. (And, yes, my kids all have names straight out of an American Frontier novel….)
      But also- who are we judging as “trashy” here? The child or the parents?
      Naming a kid is really hard.

      1. I was thinking it sounded younger, like maybe it’s a life stage thing (young women and adolescents wanting to stand out and make their mark on the world a little more).

      2. Re. who are we judging, I have observed that names seem to be correlated with personality and behavior. My hypothesis is that a child’s name 1) reflects who the parents want the child to become, and therefore how they raise the child and 2) affects teachers’ behavioral expectations for the child and hence how the child is treated in school and other learning environments. Both of these factors shape personality and behavior.

        1. I disagree. The unmeasured confounder in your example would be parents who are more likely to choose those names (let’s say the Tragedeighs for the example) are also more likely to have lower SES, which strongly correlates with children’s outcomes.

      3. I wonder if the study controlled for a correlation between the mother’s age and SES.

    10. In the US at least, it’s actually very generational and has a lot to do with how class trends trickle down. People often name their kids aspirational names that sound like “someone who is/could be successful”, but they do still need to fit in with their peers so they don’t get bullied. So name trends tend to cycle where rich people name their kids like that, then it trickles to the middle class, then lower/working class, and once it hits lower/working class no one who’s rich would be caught dead naming their kid something like that. Rinse and repeat. Right now, old-fashioned traditional names are fully middle class and trending into working class, and I don’t know enough rich people to know what old trend they’re going to start picking up in the next couple years. In the 40s-60s it was totally no big deal to use the same first name as a family member or neighbor, but that’s currently tacky. There was that 2000s(?) trend to name kids uniquely spelled common-ish names, but that’s currently tacky. We still really want the unique names, so now we’re mining the old-fashioned ones. Maybe the next trend will be totally made-up ones, maybe different language names will trend, maybe we’ll get over the desire for uniqueness, who knows?

      1. I feel like there’s got to be at least some trickling “up” with names when there is with art/fashion/music? Also I’m not honestly sure how much very rich people care about sharing cultural signifiers with the working class or with poor people, unless rich also means middle class here.

    11. Freakonomics had an extensive discussion about this.

      The short answer is: yes, naming is highly correlated with income and class and the weird “tragedeigh” spellings are lower class.

    12. My family has a lot of state names in our family tree. Evidently it was all the rage to name your kid after a state when it joined the union. I have a unique name that I like but I think deviations from the average spelling of course makes it harder.

    13. I think about this a lot because names fascinate me. I don’t think it’s as straightforward as just Brynnleigh vs Alice. Some of the “privilege” of picking an “unusual” name also comes from having an easy/classic/common last name. So for example, an Uma Thompson or a Ridley Jacobs (at least in NYC) probably evokes a relatively privileged family situation. But I think this is also where Pax might as well, whereas Paxtyn may be less so because very different spelling is generally considered lower on the social totem pole than a name just being unusual in and of itself. I think non traditional spelling (not simply, Brian vs Bryan or Sean vs Shawn) always just reads off even if I totally understand the reasoning for it. But names are also very fluid and always changing so what may feel off now can be totally classic when we are grandparents.

      1. Underrated point on the combination of names. Thomas Jacob Smith isn’t quite the same as Thomas Jacob Maldonado.

    14. Ugh. I hate this thread. I have a name that used to be white Southern but now is black Southern and my first college roommate had a complete freak out when she thought I was black. I walked in on her calling her father to call the college administrator to get her room assignment changed. All I can say is that if you are so shallow that you are freaking out that someone might think your child isn’t white enough or if white not wealthy enough, check yourself. You are a horrible person.

    15. Super hot take: a lot of it reflects parents’ short-term vs long-term thinking.

      That which is “cute” or “so unique” for the two months after your baby arrives in the world isn’t necessarily what the kid wants to be saddled with for life.

      When I named my son, I considered nearly everything: family history, easy to spell, easy to pronounce, no weird initials or monograms, nickname is cute for a kid on the playground and the adult name works for his adult life.

      Ultimately, his name is what he goes through life being known as, and that isn’t about me or my “creativity.”

      That thinking usually tracks pretty well with social class. So it isn’t about names being “fresh” or “dull” so much as whether the name is workable for the child.

        1. Thank you. He’s only in kindergarten, but he seems to really like his name.

          His name lends itself to a lot of nicknames. His given name is quite formal (“It sounds like a judge,” said one of our friends); the nicknames range from cute to preppy to, well, one sort of sounds like the kind of guy who drinks beer and drives a pickup truck. We figured that no matter what our son’s personality is, he could find something that fits well enough.

      2. Doing the Lord’s work with this! I think about how in “The Summer I Turned Pretty”, her nickname was “Belly”. Like poor girl didn’t get to go by “Bell”, she got stuck with “Belly”.

        My mom said she almost named me Candace, but didn’t want people calling me “Candy” for short, so she switched to my given name.

        I don’t mind the diminutive of my name, but I’m glad that I didn’t end up with “Candy” as a nickname, given how frequent people shorten my given name!

        1. Isn’t Belly a nickname for Isabelle? I’m not sure how you can fault the parents for that. Isabelle/(a) is a perfectly lovely and appropriate name. Kids give each other weird nicknames.

        2. Izzy
          Bella
          Bells
          Bell

          …if you must do that nickname, eschewing the normal ones, why not Bellie?

          1. Presumably her friends came up with Belly, not her parents. Kids call each other all kinds of weird sh*t.

          2. I’m an Isabella, in my 60s, and my siblings still call me Bellie. At least my brothers finally gave up on Smelly Belly somewhere in high school. Friends from early childhood call me Bell, and friends I met in college and later call me Iz.

    16. To all those here defending the unique names, as someone whose name is not a Tradgedeigh but whose name is Tradgedeigh adjacent and hard to spell, please don’t do that to your child. I. Hate. My. Name. I have somewhat successfully moved it to a plausible nickname that is normal. My mother says it hurts her feelings. She clearly didn’t think of my feelings with some weird ass hard to spell name so I really don’t care.

      1. agree with this. I have a fairly common name that is spelled multiple ways and it is incredibly annoying that my name is always misspelled. Please don’t subject your child to a lifetime of having her name misspelled simply because you want to be unique or creative. It’s not unique or creative, it’s a headache for your kid

      2. So your mom made your name about her when she named you, and now that you are going by a nickname, she’s again making it about her? I’m sorry.

  5. Update post. How are you doing now if you’ve posted for advice or otherwise had events unfold?

    1. This is such a minor update (and I honestly can’t remember if I posted it as a response on an update thread before? Forgive me), but I once asked if anyone ever saw any physical traits of great-grandparents in their own kids. As it turns out, my toddler resembles his great-grandfather and it makes me so happy. Several family members mentioned it unprompted and the Apple photos app has “guessed” that pictures of my baby are his great-grandfather. He also has hazel eyes, which are a big surprise because both parents and three of four grandparents have brown eyes. Now to hope that he gets the personality traits of all – we have some truly wonderful and brave people in the family tree.

      1. My in-laws have a lot of photos of old family members and it’s very cool to see how some current family members resemble people I never met from 100+ years ago. One person looks so much like another relative long past that it feels like a scene from the third Back to the Future movie where Michael J Fox is in costume from the gold rush west, playing his own great grandfather.

      3. King Charles looks so much like his mother, the late Queen Elizabeth, that I sometimes can’t help seeing a woman’s face under his crown. It’s jarring.

        1. If you look up a photo of Charles’ aunt Sophie of Greece, you’d think you were looking at a young Charles in drag. I think he looks nothing like his mother.

          1. I also think he looks nothing like QE2 except that they were both kind of jowl-y in old age (very old age, in her case).

          2. Yes, young Prince Charles looks like his Aunt Sophie (his dad’s sister). But I maintain that old King Charles looks like his mother, Queen Elizabeth, particularly in her older years. Uncanny.

    2. Posted under another name about the traumatic end of my marriage and subsequent death of my husband. It is almost exactly 2 years since I last saw him alive and I am doing OK. Still have some wobbly moments, but achieved calm, and with much support from friends and various professionals, and forums like this one my main emotion is relief now. (Who knew the power of internet strangers!)

      1. I remember your story so clearly because I was going through something similar at the same time. My husband had untreated mental illness and ultimately died 6 months after your husband did. You’re not alone.

        1. Wow, sending love to both of you and glad to hear you’re in a better place today.

        2. Hello, I am sorry you have had a similar experience. I hope you are able to feel you are coming out the other side.

    3. A few weeks ago I asked what to wear to a community theatre audition. I ended up wearing black jazz pants, a fitted black tee, and jazz shoes, per the advice here. I got nervous and wasn’t happy with my singing, then fell on my behind during the dance call. Somehow I was cast anyway in the ensemble for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, which has been my dream since I was in high school (I wanted to be the narrator, but any dream will do!). Rehearsals began last week and I am having the time of my life.

      1. Congratulations, and enjoy! See, they couldn’t say “yes” until you auditioned.

      3. I love that you got cast! I’m currently in rehearsals for “Sister Act”, and it truly makes me so happy when I’m rehearsing and performing, have fun!

    4. About 8-10 months ago (I honestly can’t recall, maybe longer) I posted wondering if I should reach out to a woman who ran my daughter’s special services program. I thought she was awesome and I wanted to be friends with her, and my daughter had graduated the program so we no longer had any professional interactions. Some of you were really strange about me wanting to text her for a coffee or drink, saying it was inappropriate, which surprised me.

      Well, since then…she divorced and came out, and I am in the process of divorcing and coming out, and I sent the text, and now we’ve been dating for a couple months. So. Surprises all around. Life is funny.

      5. That’s so great for you! I’m glad you didn’t listen to the advice telling you it would be weird. It wouldn’t have been even without this outcome.

    1. Hopefully the public learns about reactive abuse. But since society hates women she’ll be dragged like amber heard

      1. I’m not following this particular case (although I did love early Bachelor!) but reactive abuse is very much a thing and people need to understand it more.

    2. I had already read about her domestic violence incident in the past. I don’t think it was a big secret. Did it just become real to people all of a sudden with a video released? It was a risky move to choose her for the show.

    3. This is like when a Survivor contestant turned out to have been convicted of fraud. How can you not be able to do basic due diligence?

    4. i’m not following it but did a quick google. from outside perspective: she cray cray and someone who fights instead of lays down. which, ok, that’s a personality.

      but people seem to think it’s more than that? was she so likeable she shouldve had her own show?

    5. I’m watching Age of Attraction on Netflix if anyone is looking for a replacement romance reality show … episodes are dropping

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