Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Allover Floral T-Shirt
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Ted Baker is one of my go-tos for elevated tees for the office. The prints are always beautiful, which makes them feel a little fancier when they’re layered under a blazer or sweater. I would wear this under a suit to liven up an otherwise boring outfit or paired with some wide-leg trousers for something a little more casual.
The top is $95 at Bloomingdale's and comes in sizes XS-XL. It's also available in a few other floral prints.
Looking for more T-shirts with fun but professional prints for 2025? Some classic brands to check include Boden and The Kit. These may be on the more casual side, but also look at Lilly Pulitzer and Sanctuary.
Sales of note for 6/24/25:
- Nordstrom – Designer clearance up to 60% off
- Ann Taylor – 30% off tops & sweaters + extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – Sale up to 50% off
- Eloquii – Semi-annual clearance, up to 80% off
- J.Crew – Big Summer Event: Up to 50% off almost everything (ends 6/26) + extra 50% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off + extra 60% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Semi-annual event, up to 50% off seasonal faves
- Spanx – End-of-season sale
- Talbots – Extra 30% off markdowns (ends 6/24) + $24.50+ summer favorites
This is nearly the same print as a babydoll tee I had back in the 90s. Wore that thing so hard with my low rise jeans, doc martin knock-offs, and wide, studded belt. Loved it then, leaving it to a different generation this time around.
I really like the pattern! Maybe styled a little differently though. I’ve definitely been in the market for nicer tshirts
Ahhh, I loved that look and have so much nostalgia for it. Won’t do it now, though.
I feel like the fabric needs to be stiffer or it needs to be more boxy? The clinginess reminds me that something the teens on Yellowjackets would have worn on the plane that crashed.
Any petites have experience with Ted Baker tees? Might it be too big in the shoulders? I don’t have narrow shoulders for my body, but I am built on a smaller scale than average.
If it helps, I’m big on top and Ted Baker tees fit me well. So they may be big on you although my issue is more bustage than shoulders. (And also, Ted Baker? Why do you have to have your own size system? Drives me nuts!!)
Forgot to say I’m a big busted petite.
I like Peruvian Connection and Saint and Sofia for prints that aren’t glaringly bright.
I will be going to Chicago for a 2 day trip. Last time I was in Chicago (in April of this year) it took over 2 hours to get from downtown Chicago to O’Hare via Uber due to construction on the freeway and I almost missed my flight. I’m wondering if I should take the train next time to avoid traffic. Can any one here comment on whether the train to/from O’Hare to downtown is reliable and direct and easy to manage for a first-timer? Also, can I take the train from Chicago up to Evanston (Northwestern) and back or would Uber be better for that? Thank you!
Oh 1000% take the train to get to and from ORD. The only sane method.
Oh and I have not specifically taken the train to Evanston but used that line regularly for other suburbs, including by myself. No issues.
I moved away from Chicago a few years ago but traveled frequently when I lived there.
Definitely take the blue line from ORD depending what time of day. Depending on where you’re staying, it may be faster to hop out at a blue line station in the west loop for example then take an Uber the last 10 minutes to your hotel. Would just be careful, I have heard that line isn’t the safest recently so watch your belongings.
In terms of getting to Evanston, the Metra is very fast and if you get an express train can be in Evanston in 20ish minutes. You can buy tickets in advance on your phone, it’s a different system than the el (CTA). Trains to Evanston leave from Ogilvie which is in the west loop, can walk or uber there from your hotel. There’s also a bus that goes from Northwestern campus to the Loop but I tried it once and thought it took an insanely long time.
OP, I did this same trip when looking at UChicago and Northwestern for grad school. You can take the Metra (UP-N, likely from Ogilvie station) or CTA (L) to Northwestern – depending on weekday vs. weekend the schedules vary so one may have better service options. To get to UChicago from downtown you can either take the Metra (Metra Electric line, likely from Millennium station) or it’s a quick Uber down Lakeshore Drive. I would not recommend the CTA (L) for a first time visitor – it’s a bit more confusing.
Definitely recommend the train from / to ORD. I’ve ridden it at various times of day and given the airport traffic it’s very safe.
If it’s not rush hour it should take max 1 hour to get to O’Hare via uber, even with the highway construction. If this is during rush hour then uber west to the blue line and take the train the rest of the way. It’s annoying dealing with a suitcase but it will be faster than traffic.
Getting from O’Hare to the city is easiest via uber unless your destination happens to be along the blue line.
There can be an accident that causes it to take >1 hr even at a non-rush hour time.
Did this two weeks ago and it’s so very, very bad. I’m from Boston so bad traffic doesn’t make me flinch, but I swear we didn’t move 6 inches for close to 10 minutes at one point. This wasn’t rush hour.
Train alllllllll the way.
Definitely take the blue line if you’re going to the loop. Traffic is such a s show right now. You can take either the metra or the el to Evanston. Metra is faster and more comfortable but you need to time it more precisely. The ventra app shows all these options and you can get your tickets on it.
If you’re taking the el from downtown up to evanston:
the red and purple lines run from the loop north.
the Purple line train runs all the way through evanston and the loop but has different schedules during the week for commuting vs the weekends.
the redline runs through the loop up to rogers park. at the final stop for the redline at howard, or at fullerton and belmont stations you can transfer between the red and purple lines.
google maps or the Ventra app will give you the best route. But expect it to take about an hour.
Thanks for your help everyone. Sounds like the train will be much better for me. I have not booked a hotel yet – does anyone have any recommendations for a hotel in a safe area that will be easy for me to get to via the train and back? I would prefer not to have to take the train and take an Uber since it’s just a 2 day trip. It’s me going with my two teens to go visit Northwestern and U. Chicago (on 2 separate days).
Oh man, that’s like the trifecta of opposite ends of chicago area. I wonder if you might be better off staying in Evanston or Hyde park rather than in the middle downtown. Depending on your schedule you go from ohare to either Evanston or Hyde park, so your visit, sleep there and then do your other visit and then go from there to the airport. In Hyde park the sophy, study or Hyatt place are options. I’m not sure in Evanston.
I just stayed in the Marriott Courtyard Downtown/Mag Mile and it was perfectly fine, updated and well located. Can’t speak to access to train lines that you’d need to get to the airport, but I would endorse this one.
Summer is super hard on my rosacea-prone skin. The humidity, the sweat, the sun, all of it. I was thinking about periodically treating myself to a hydrofacial to address the clogged pores and give my skin some TLC. Any thoughts on whether it’s worth it?
I think it’s worth a derm visit to ask someone with better knowledge. I have the acne type of rosacea and over the summer it’s just gently cleanse, sunscreen, and a v beam laser in September. It’s varsity level stuff but actually works and nothing else is anything but an expense with no improvement.
I don’t have particularly sensitive skin, and a hydrofacial killed my skin. That is, if you’re talking about the one with the machine that uses water to kind of vacuum your pores. It hurt and then my skin was inflamed for a while and didn’t resolve to look better.
Others may have had better experiences, but I’ll never get another one!
Gah, that sounds like a terrible experience! Definitely makes me think twice.
I’d be worried it would actually make things worse (so many skin treatments flare rosacea).
Facial treatments are bad news when my rosacea is flaring. My skin needs minimal interaction during those times.
Save the treatment for when your skin isn’t already half angry.
Wait until your skin is calm for any treatments like this.
The most I do when my skin is really inflamed is steam for clogged pores followed by an oatmeal rinse – literally blend up a handful of oats in some water, splash the slurry on my face while I soak in the tub, rinse off.
Careful to the OP. Many folks with rosacea with sensitive skin can’t tolerate oatmeal. It is a common allergen. My derm told me to avoid all lotions with oat.
I’d stick to gentle topicals, facials always manage to inflame my rosacea even when they are ‘gentle’. If you haven’t tried it, a mask of De La Cruz 10% sulfur cream works wonders for me.
Aside, but huge fan of Ren ClearCalm and Evercalm lines for rosacea.
Any East Carolina University people here? I need to go there for 3 days during the week in July. I’d like to be able to walk to something from a hotel or at least be close to ECU. Or at least something with a sense of place. Will do a tour with my teens and also have a summer kid thing to drop off at. I haven’t been there in 30 years (and didn’t attend, just went to a graduation), but I understand that it has grown a ton since then. Any recommendations?
Has anyone gone to a Sing Along to the Sound of Music? I have one coming up and OMG I have dreamed of this for decades. My late mother and aunt would have loved it. They would have worn nice church attire. Do people dress up (sort of like Rocky Horror but with a very different movie and crowd), like nuns and brown paper packages tied up with string? Or not. Will be hot and could just wear a sundress and bring a wrap for excess summer A/C.
Yes! We’ve done this. It’s been several years. Really fun.
Most people didn’t dress up, but some did–in lederhosen equivalents, nun’s habits, etc. There was a costume contest. A “bowing lady” costume won. There was also a girl in a white dress with a blue satin sash. I loved it.
When I’ve gone people absolutely dress up. Girls in white dresses is especially easy for summer.
we did this in Chicago several years ago and it was very fun. Kids dressed up like the von Trapp children and we wore the equivalent of nice church attire, but there was a wide range – a good half of people were not wearing any costume, and then the other half ranged from a very simple nods/accessories to full on brown paper packages.
It is so fun! I’ve been in chicago and they did a contest. The winner was someone dressed like the gazebo made out of a hula hoop and plastic sheeting. So fun!! And no one cares what you wear.
I haven’t been in ages so this might have changed, but it was pretty much wear “whatever”. Some were in costume, some weren’t. Of those that weren’t, attire ranged from a little dressed up and others dressed very casually. This was in Nashville. We took an all ages group, ranging from elementary school age to elderly, and we had a blast.
I’ve been at the Hollywood Bowl and some people for sure dress up! SO FUN!! My group did matching-play-clothes-out-of-curtains and it was a blast.
Yes and many did dress up, but it is not required.
Follow up for Londoner if you check today! Club is 5 Hertford Street? We’re going for drinks and dinner with DH’s friend from grad school and his wife I haven’t met so a bit tricky!
Was going to wear a sort of dressy but linen light blue midi dress, strappy heels and a clutch and black blazer. Does that sound about right? I like the linen pants and silky top idea, but I don’t think I have any silky tops!
You’re overthinking this.
Probably but it’s people we don’t see often and he knows semi-professionally so I want to make a good impression and not be those underdressed Americans!
For the rest of the trip, I’m definitely going for comfort, but I like to make an effort when meeting up with people, especially acquaintances we haven’t seen in a long time.
Your outfit sounds fine. My husband has been to 5 Hertford Street and wore trousers, a button down and a blazer. No tie or full suit. He couldn’t remember specifics about what the women were wearing, but what you’ve described seems appropriate.
This is so helpful – thank you!
I think that sounds perfect. You might want to check out Plum Sykes and Skye McAlpine’s instagrams for English style inspo.
Um I think I’m going to do that anyways. Good idea – thank you!
They also have really great substacks if you’re into that :)
I don’t work in a helping profession. I work in a really cut-throat profession but I do volunteer work for a Worthy Nonprofit. I feel like work, it’s very game of thrones with respect to hiring and promotion. Very snobby, focused on schools, focused on money until you do well on that and then it shifts to an intangible. So frustrating. OTOH, doing one small thing well with Worthy Nonprofit results in so many attempted promotions (to just more work). My free time hasn’t expanded. What I don’t get is that it’s really clear that I work for Cut-Throat LLP and they keep asking. Why can’t they ask the tons of SAHMs who have like at least 40 more hours of free time than I do (regardless of the rigor of their kids’ sports schedules, which always come up)? FWIW, I have non-driving teens also, so it’s not like I’m not deep in that swamp for the next 4+ years. Ugh. It’s just odd that a whiff of competence is treated so differently outside of my job (and my first tell was to put something reasonable on a spreadsheet, which is unremarkable; instead, I should have flown under the radar and just looked cute and fumbled the ball).
What?
It’s the curse of competence!
Amen. It is the gift that keeps on giving. Never do a Thing that you don’t want to be tagged to do forever, except that you may be volunteered to recruit for the Thing, train people for the Thing, manage the Thing, build Thing 2.0. NEVER pitch in and try to be helpful. It’s like being on a group project that never ends.
This is such a bonkers and narcissistic post. Sorry you don’t have free time. Sorry you felt the desire to bitch about SAHMs. Sorry your “whiff of competence” has made the place you volunteer for tap you for more work.
Get over yourself.
Yes this exactly
Seriously.
Really unclear what the org did wrong here. They don’t know the nuances of your job or your life. They saw that you were competent and asked for you to use your skills accordingly. You can say no.
+1. Does the Worthy Nonprofit even understand what working for Really Cutthroat LLP means as a practical matter? I don’t know that a local, non-legal nonprofit would understand that a Skadden partner (for example) doesn’t have loads of free time.
What weird nonsense are you even writing?
You don’t have to do things for this nonprofit. If I were a nonprofit leader and I saw that I had a very competent volunteer I would absolutely love for them to do more. I also work at a Cut-Throat LLP and love being the person who puts together competent spreadsheets for nonprofits, even if that seems simpler than my day job.
You can tell them no. You can tell them no a thousand times. You can tell them to stop asking, you can tell them if they ask you again you will pull back from your commitment. You can follow through on that or let it be empty words and be forever frustrated that they don’t respect your lack of follow through about the boundaries you set. You can be a snark about it. You can be diplomatic about it. You can completely ignore it and live your best life. You have autonomy.
You can apply this to your job at Cut-Throat LLP and/or your volunteer work at Worthy Nonprofit.
This vent makes no sense. Of course if you do something well at a volunteer job you’ll be asked to take on more. If you don’t want to, just gracefully say you’re already at capacity.
If you’re that competent, figure out how to use your words and say no.
+1,000
Seriously. I just pulled back from a more intense committment at the non-profit I volunteer at. Use your words and if they ignore you you can be a bit more firm. The beauty of volunteer work is that it’s optional and you can pull out or scale back as needed!
I literally laughed out loud.
Also, if you’re that competent and at such an amazingly hard to get hired at company, write coherently.
If you don’t want to be a volunteer, don’t volunteer.
What’s the point of this post?
To tell us how special she is and dog on others she deems less competent.
Stop volunteering at the non-profit and do what busy, rich people with fancy jobs do: give them money instead.
It’s because the other people involved in Worthy Nonprofit don’t actually follow through on things they say they will do, can’t complete basic tasks, or have repeatedly declined to take other roles or tasks. Also men and women volunteers are viewed very, very differently by many Worthy Nonprofits. Men basically get a parade for showing up, women get a huge pile of work and told they are difficult or unreasonable for declining.
To all you peri/menopausal people :
As seen on todays NY times (sorry no gift article) this is a plug for the I Do Not Care Club.
So many videos on the internet…..snort!
i saw that! let’s do a thread of what we don’t care about anymore?
i don’t care that mascara makes me look 15x better, it makes my eyes itchy and i forget to not rub my eyes.
i don’t care that underwire makes my b00bs look so much better, i’m going to stick with my comfy ones thanks.
gift link for those who want it: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/24/well/menopause-melani-sanders-club.html?unlocked_article_code=1.Rk8._vEg.cQrkJLMM5XBN&smid=url-share
She’s very funny. But I still care.
I still care about a lot, but do not care about painted toenails. As long as they’re groomed, natural is easy and free.
I don’t care if I’m wearing athletic or sensible shoes with a business or fancy outfit. I just came from Florence and I saw so many older Italian women dressed really sharply and wearing Sketchers.
I don’t care that there is no milk in the fridge.
I don’t care that I forgot to tweeze my eyebrows.
I don’t care about my VPL.
+ 1 – I really never did (I hate thongs and do not understand them), but I definitely do not care now. I wear underwear. Big whoop.
I don’t care that I’ve got downy hair above my lip. Keeping up with bleaching or removal is too hard.
It seems to make fine lines more visible too, if you remove the hair.
Or maybe that’s just me.
for those of you who’ve had aging (but still healthy) parents move to live near you and your family – what boundaries have you set to make it work? my dad (76) just mentioned he would consider moving to our city which is a 3.5 hour flight from where he lives now. my mom passed away ~5 years ago. my dad has A LOT of friends where he currently lives, though he is the only one widowed (so far) which he is finding hard. he still works part-time, so this would potentially be a plan for when he stops working. I have two elementary-aged kids and a DH with a big job who travels a lot. he is not my favorite person to spend time with, though our relationship is fine. he is currently somewhat helpful with the kids – one kid really likes him and the other one seems to find him somewhat annoying (which i understand) my concern is that he would know no one here other than us, and I don’t have the bandwidth to commit to something. He is an extrovert and says he would join the JCC, take advantage of senior programming, etc. He has yet to do that where he currently lives, though I understand he has more of a fallback there. Our schedule is quite variable and we don’t get as much time as i’d like as a family of 4 due to DH’s work schedule. thoughts?
Too many variables for a generic answer but my in-laws moved close to us, next town over, and while we see them a lot more it’s a lot easier because visits are a few hours and not a few days or weeks. We also like them a lot so it’s been fun.
I don’t have an answer for you but as someone approaching retirement, I’d like to live near one of my kids and I hope to not annoy them! I’m reflecting on so many articles about how Boomer parents don’t want to be grandparents or have any involvement with their kids/grandkids, but for every article or post, there seems to be another one like yours where the poster says, I don’t want my parent to live any closer! This is not critical of you at all, just an observation that grandparents really cannot win lol.
Umm I said that we enjoy having them close?
I assume Anon at 11:43 was directed more to what the OP wrote.
it’s not that i necessarily don’t want my dad to live closer, it’s that it would be a big change/the idea of being the only people he knows in our city is a bit scary to me/feels like a lot of pressure to have a schedule or something to see him/what if he doesn’t like it. if my mom was alive and healthy and it was her moving, i’d love it in a heartbeat, but we had a different relationship and i enjoy her company more. i feel like i can barely handle the daily responsibilities in my day-to-day life with the kids, work and house, etc. i do know that as he actually ages it would be easier to have him closer than have me fly halfway across the country. i don’t think he’s the type to just show up at our door unannounced, but idk that i want texts 24/7 asking about our plans etc. he is currently lonely and i love him, but his loneliness cannot be my responsibility. im concerned that him moving someplace where he literally does not know ANYONE would be harder than he thinks given his personality
You said he was an extrovert though.
Extrovert is consistent with worries about him wanting her to entertain him though. Extrovert doesn’t mean you make friends easily in a new place, it means you want constant social interaction. If he moves to her city and doesn’t know anyone, he may be wanting to hang out with her all the time until he develops a social network, which can take years. My parents moved to our city and I feel like it works precisely because they’re introverts who don’t expect us to entertain them.
yes, he is an extrovert who needs a ton of interaction. this is why he still works part-time. he is accustomed to spending his free time with people who he has known for years. it’s been a long time since he has made a new friend. i dont think he’s really made any new friends (though has done some dating) since my mom passed away. most of his friends he has known for 20+ years. some he even went to college with, so has known them for 50+. i am concerned he will find it hard to meet his social needs in an area where he doesn’t know even one person, if he isn’t really willing to put himself out there. so far where he lives now, he hasn’t been willing to do that. he doesn’t have the same need, since he knows more people, so maybe truly having the need would push him, but maybe it wouldn’t.
All of your concerns make perfect sense to me. The only thing I would say is what about in 5-10 years when he isn’t perfectly healthy – would you rather have him in his current city and coordinating remote care? If not, having him move when he is less healthy — and likely less mobile — will make it harder for him to make friends, so he might be wise to be thinking about making the move now. Would you be willing/able to take on helping him get tied into the JCC, signed up for some volunteer work, etc? I think that type of thing would probably pay off and make boundaries a little less critical.
Yes, your feelings of the amount of pressure are all completely valid. I do think you have an opportunity for the relationship with your dad to change from the “big trip” or “emergency trip” everything is never settled to having him involved in the mundane aspects of your life, like casual Sunday dinner or having him go to see a kid’s play. It really is a different type of relationship that you don’t realize until it is there.
One thing speaking from experience, I would prioritize focusing on a place to live where he can function without a car. We did this for one grandmother and it made it infinitely easier that she could walk and get groceries. Husband’s very long-living grandparents are in a car dependent area and it makes it a heavy lift for everyone once they could no longer drive.
It’s likely that at some point he will need some level of care from you (even if it’s only overseeing paid care), and when that time comes it will be much easier if he lives near you. So if I were in your shoes, knowing what I know now, I’d encourage the move now, while he’s still in good shape and able to make new friends and join new activities.
Could you/he look into him living in a retirement community with graduated levels of care? Right now, totally independent living is all he needs. But the advantage (for you and him) is that he would have a built-in community of peers for him where he could start making friends.
I agree. It is so much easier to have an aging parent who needs assistance close by vs. a 3.5 hour flight away.
Well, perhaps you are worrying a bit too soon. He is still working, with no plans to move soon. It is great he is active, healthy and extroverted. He will find friends if/when he moves. And how wonderful he is thinking ahead, is feeling you out, and has already expressed willingness to move BEFORE he becomes sick/incapacitated. (Although of course at his age, everything could change in an instant. One fall is all that it takes). And doing elder care management from afar is rough. And what’s the alternative? You move closer to him? I doubt you want that.
But I worry too, so what I would probably do in your shoes is just get familiar with where the senior housing places are near you. Because if he is 76 already, I would encourage him when he moves to consider an independent/assisted senior living complex near you. Pushing 80 years old is not the time to buy a house or condo, if you are single in a new city. Retirement complexes (CCRC if available) offer him built in social life, transportation, dining etc. Just ask around to your neighbors/friends if they know of the
As kids get older, they can spend time with Grandpa too, without you having to entertain. The occasional dinners or lunch with Grandpa can be simple, and can be plenty of socializing when you are in your 80s.
And remember – you are modeling to your children how they should treat YOU and your husband when you age. They are watching.
BTW – my father mellowed a lot with age, especially once my mother died.
If you and your spouse are not religious, do you find it’s a struggle to talk about? Both my husband and I have moms who were raised catholic and for their own reasons want zero to do with the catholic church or organized religion. My dad was raised reform Jewish and thinks religion as a concept is decisive and silly. I’m always trying to be respectful but I’m struggling lately. The amount of people who have suggested to us that we simply send our kids to the local Catholic school or the local Catholic Church is just…crazy to me? Is there a polite way to shut this down? I find it wild that anyone would casually suggest we raise our kids in a church that we clearly don’t believe in. Is this rudeness that we can meet with rudeness or do we have to say kind things about their intentions?
This attitude about using well regarded Catholic schools as a sort of private school alternative is really common, so don’t overthink it. Like my cousins and a lot of their circle attended a Catholic school in a major city for awhile and their parents were surprised they had to take religion class, lol.
Just say oh that’s not a good fit for our family, and move on.
+1 – going to catholic school is the cheap version of good private school. I’m Jewish and went there as did a lot of non-Catholic kids. It’s not the same as raising kids in a religion.
+2 it would personally be a dealbreaker for me (I strongly prefer public schools, but I’d homeschool before I’d use Catholic school) but it’s pretty common for non-Catholics to send their kids to Catholic private schools, especially in areas where the public schools are not good.
+3. It’s very, very common in my metro area for non-Catholics to send their kids to Catholic school. I would have considered it if our local public school hadn’t worked out – the tuition is low and the schools are more economically and racially diverse than most of the local nonsectarian private schools.
That said, I grew up in an area that was super Catholic and it was very rare for non-Catholic kids to attend Catholic schools, especially before high school. Some of this was about the admissions policies – they gave preference to members of their parishes and if you have more than 3 kids, tuition for each additional kid was free.
We’re also not religious (same background as you actually) and are looking into a Jesuit high school but NOT a catholic school. There is a big difference between the Jesuit schools which typically take a catholic-lite/world religions view and the full on catholic schools with daily mass.
I get what you are implying, but Jesuits are Catholic and if it’s a Jesuit school it is literally a Catholic school
I think maybe she meant that it’s not a parochial school that exists mainly to serve the needs of a specific Catholic parish community? I’m imagining something more like a prep school that welcomes students from entirely other religions, let alone churches.
Yes, they are kind of like prep schools, but the presidents and teachers are very often priests! Like, Catholicism right front and center, lol. More and more laity are getting involved simply because there aren’t enough priests, though. And while you won’t have daily mass, you will have some masses and likely there will be crucifixes all around and talk of “men and women for others” (a fundamentally Catholic, Jesuit ideal but many may not realize it as such).
I guess I just chuckled a little at the notion of not wanting Catholicism, so you choose a school run by….priests. My husband went to a Jesuit high school and we met at a Jesuit college, so I have all the love for Jesuits!
I am Catholic and send my kid to the local Catholic school. It is also a very good school, in an area without non-religious private schools; plenty of non-Catholics send their kids there.
The annual tuition is about 1/12th the median household income. It is a very good alternate to the not-great public school.
Idk why this is something you need to handle in a particular way? We are happy with public school, thanks but actually we don’t need in put on schools, and stop talking schools with people. Lots of non Catholics send their kids to Catholic school
Op here. I know this is common in some areas but in the one thats suggest ed they do ask that the kids all go to church and that the parents go too. It’s not really like a catholic college where you can opt out of the religious part. Religion is a part of the curriculum so it’s really wild to me that anyone would take that lightly or think a non-religious person would feel ok with it. It feels like you’d either have to mislead the administration or actually convert and both feel so wrong to me!
Nearly every catholic school in the country has plenty of non catholic kids. You can make it a whole thing or just change the subject
Ok, so it’s not a good fit as Cat said. Most religious schools do ask the pupils to go to chapel and require the students to take a religious class per semester. For many people, this is not a bridge too far; for your family, it is. Repeat “not a good fit” as needed.
I went to a Catholic and a Presbyterian school (am neither) and the chapels were fine. It might matter in Catholic school if you were the only non-Catholic kid and it was just you not getting communion. Probably less of a deal with older kids. Maybe it’s school dependent, but often Catholic schools are the cheap alternative to public school (10K vs 30K for Catholic vs private schools in my city).
My religiously affiliated school up North had less religion than the culture shock small-town Texas public high school. The religiously affiliated school talked about all religions, but more so in a matter of fact these are the tenants than a trying to convert you. Long way of saying I wouldn’t discount the religious schools in your area.
It’s really common for non-Catholics to send their kids to Catholic schools. If in conversation you’re bemoaning the quality of local public schools, and you have a good local Catholic school nearby, of course your conversation partner will bring it up. It’s not meant to be a condemnation of your beliefs or an active endorsement of the school’s, just that the school exists as a good educational opportunity.
Op here. We love the public school! It’s mostly suggested because people want our kids in this social circle which is nice. I just find it crazy that when I point out we’re not religious the answer is kind of “well you should be!” If it were the kind of place where non-Catholics were common I don’t think they’d suggest we convert (!?) or fake it or whatever but it’s a crazy conversation I’ve had several times now. I get if you were raised in this particular religion it’s fine to just go through the motions and send your kids but why suggest non-religious people do that?
Oh, this context is important. This information confirms that people are being at best deliberately obtuse and perhaps pushy, insofar as it seems that being socially included means going to that church or attending that school. FWIW, I grew up around people like this (eg, friendly but insistent, in friendly ways, about their own religion, its social life, etc). So I think I can get close to how these conversations are actually going.
I think you have two choices in terms of the conversation: all in or all out. All in would look like, “Thanks, but that doesn’t align with our beliefs, and we won’t be sending the kids there.” And then if they keep pushing, “Thanks, but we’ve decided, and I’d prefer not to keep talking about it.”
All out would be, “Thanks for the information!” and then steer to a different subject. Rinse and repeat.
yes this. one of my colleagues is Jewish. her husband is not. he went to catholic school growing up, but i dont think he is catholic or super religious. their daugther goes to catholic school…but is studying to have a bat mitzvah next year and goes to jewish sleepaway camp. the only issue that really came up was when a classmate said told the daughter that her mom was going to go to h*ll. You can just say “thanks for the idea” and change the subject
I got that at private (nonreligious) school about my Muslim dad. I think that’s just gonna happen, religious school or no.
I’m not religious and live in an extremely religious area, so this is something I’ve been dealing with my whole life.
My solution (?) is to assume good intentions. Someone says they’ll pray for me–in my head, I change it to “I’ll keep you in my thoughts and wish you well,” and just say thank you. Someone suggests I attend a religious thing–in my head, I change it to, “I think this thing is fun/good/whatever and you might find it valuable,” and I just say no thanks or it’s not for me and move along. If they push, I will just say, “I’m not religious.” That almost always puts an end to it. If they get rude about my salvation, I will tell them I don’t want to talk about that and then just won’t talk to them again.
You’re the one making this weird.
I don’t really understand the context in which this is all coming up, and I think you may get better responses here if you explain that. As others have said, it’s pretty common for non-Catholics to send their kids to Catholic schools–even Catholic schools with chapel requirements–so it’s hard to say that these other people are being rude with just this generic question. That said, I’m sure there are scenarios where what you describe *would* be rude; they just don’t seem like the most likely ones without more info.
Op. I have another response in mod. I guess I’m confused in chapel vs church but in this school they ask that all families attend mass on Sunday. My bestie’s kids go there and it’s an issue if the fam isn’t in church consistently. Again, we’re not religious. So when people casually suggest we send our kids there, we explain we’re not religious. They say well you don’t have to believe to just go to church. But I think it’s wild to suggest that we essentially have our kids practice this religion. Now that I’m thinking the disconnect is that they don’t feel they are particularly religious but in fact have taken the sacraments and want their kids to be exposed this religion too. For us it’s different because we weren’t raised in it and I want people to kind of understand that we don’t believe in it or feel ok pretending that we do. But that feels rude.
Oh wow. The whole family in church on Sunday is a big ask and entirely different from Wednesday chapel to me (which is pretty normal for non-religious students or students of other religions to attend, but they’d never show up at Sunday mass).
I think you are right that they may not feel particularly religious; this is relatively common for Catholics. I wonder if “not Catholic” goes farther in this scenario. Or “not raising our children Catholic” since that’s the way it’s phrased in pre-Cana.
The polite way to shut it down is to say “Oh, we’re not religious so it wouldn’t be a good fit for us! Are you going to the baseball game this weekend?”
Exactly.
OP, it’s possible that people are being rude, but unlikely. But even if they are, the way to deal with that is not to be rude back!
The suggestion isn’t rude to me it’s the push back about how we’d have to go to church. They don’t say “oh plenty of non religious kids go there and don’t go to church!” They say “so what? Just take the kids to church! What’s the difference?” It feels dismissive to me to casually suggest we adopt this religion, at least to the extent that we attend mass somewhat regularly and support our young children in learning its teachings. I think the disconnect is that they don’t consider themselves particularly religious but to us that’s pretty much adopting a religion. I’m taking to heart that I’m overreacting but I think that it’s a bigger deal than most people I guess.
Then “Oh, we’re not a churchgoing family…” Honestly I get where you’re coming from but there are ways to shut it down. It’s not a big deal to them and the trick is to not let on how big a deal it is to you (unless you want to).
And also? FWIW I think you’re exactly right not to go along. I had my kid in Catholic high school for two years and it was NOT a good fit for them or our family. Like, at all. At all, at all.
I completely agree with you, having been on this end of those kinds of pushback. If someone says “I’m not religious,” DROP IT. It is absolutely tone deaf and rude to keep pushing back.
My spouse and I are very religious but not Catholic. Catholic schools come up a lot in discussion where I live (my kids go to a secular private school) due to cost etc. My response is generally “I’m so glad you have a positive experience! Unfortunately Catholic school just isn’t/wasn’t an option for us.” and I have yet to have a single person push me on it. Many of my jewish, non religious friends send their kids to the local catholic school, primarily for cost.
What is your go-to summer lip gloss or lipstick? I somehow feel like my lipsticks are too much for summer and I’m getting bored of Black Honey.
Recent discovery that I am in LOVE with: Wet and Wild Soft Blur Matte lipstick. It’s not a lipstick, it’s this…balm-like product that deposits sheer MATTE color. So it’s like you were eating a popsicle, but in a grown up way. I can’t express my love enough. I’m a fair Mediterranean complexion (dark hair and eyes, olive skin, but quite fair), and Little Red Rosette is the most wonderful shade of matte cherry popsicle imaginable.
I am enjoying the Elf lip oils. They feel like a regular lipgloss to me.
I like the new Supergoop spf lip glosses. I think it’s called glow gloss and it’s spf 40.
Clinique chubby sticks come in great colors and are like Black Honey, but more color choices. I love them.
I have the strawberry one and love it during the summer!
DC folks, if a hot fun 40 something just wants to get laid this weekend what bars should she hit up
Serious question. Arlington? Old town? Or in the district?
Online. Download a dating app. No one meets at bars.
Unfortunately, this is the answer.
Adding that Tinder is more of the hook up app nowadays.
Hasn’t it always been?
My husband and I have observed that we both always sleep better when we are out of the house. It’s frequent enough and in enough stressful work and family trips that we are pretty confident it’s not just being relaxed on vacation. We are wondering if there is mold or dust or something causing this. We have a weekly cleaner already. Any suggestions on testing or deeper cleaning to consider?
Do you need a new mattress? New pillows? Is your bedroom too hot? Are you sleeping better outside the house because you’re sleeping alone? There are, like, a bajillion variables here.
I’d look into replacing mattress or pillows.
I would not jump to this being a mold or dust issue. Sleep problems without any other symptoms – especially for two people at one time – make that seem unlikely.
Is it an environmental or noise issue? Streetlight or bedroom TV problem? Do you do something different in your travel bedtime routine than you do at home?
My best guess is room temperature (do you blast the AC on vacation), amount of light (can you add blackout curtains?), and type of bedding. Hotel bedding is pretty thin and flimsy. Maybe your home comforter is too heavy or hot for you.
Unless you’re waking up sneezing or coughing (which does happen to me sometimes, it sucks!), I doubt it’s dust or mold. It’s much more likely to be room temperature, or maybe light or noise or your bed. It could also be related to something you do before bed. Are you more likely to be on your phone or watching tv before bed at home?
I definitely have better sleep hygiene when I travel compared to home.
Room temperature
Pillows
Bedding
Mattress
Mattress size
Headboard or lack thereof
Light in room
Habits you have before bed (eg, cleaning, watching TV, TV in the room, only going to bed when tired)
Also, when you are not at home, you don’t think about things like running the dishwasher or fixing something, or other life tasks, etc. Could that be part of the issue? (out of sight, out of mind)
What do you say if a friend is clearly doing something wrong but bragging about it?
Both of us are federal government employees but friend hasn’t worked since last year due to maternity leave, FMLA. Our agencies have a strict 5 day per week RTO and hers has a strict mileage requirement for how far you can live from the office – which she knew when she took the job two years ago. She lives across the country, used her parents’ address to get the job, and then went on leave within the first year. Now that it’s time to return it’s all oh – I’m going to telework full time anyway, my supervisor said she’d look the other way, I told her I live many states away NBD.
I’m finding all this hard to believe. Besides the RTO thing, in government a HUGE percentage of your comp is tied to locality so if you are saying you live in HCOL area and really live in LCOL, you’re being paid like 30 percent higher. I gently said they are checking badge swipes into the building and your coworkers could easily make a fuss to someone important to be like how come I get no remote work and x gets full time in the same position? Her approach is what are they gonna do about it, let them gossip.
Not my circus I know but I’m kind of like I can’t congratulate you on your deceit either.
You aren’t a cop are you? Wish her well and move on. Don’t be weird.
Lol, I know right? So many hall monitors on this thread. Nerds, please mind your own business and get a life.
Yeah definitely nerdy to think it’s unfair for someone to make 50k more than others for the same job while chilling at home at the expense of coworkers making less and chained to their desks. Go back to middle school. Not OP but fellow Fed.
I wouldn’t risk something like that, but she’ll find out soon enough if her plan works or not.
Yikes. She’s really going to FAAFO, isn’t she. I think you’ve said what needs to be said, and I agree that you don’t need to cheer this on. I would find this really slimy, too.
I swear this is the sort of thing that keeps OIGs busy. Fraud can be a 18 USC 1001 felony and I don’t like remote work that much.
Are you coworker friends or just friends who happen to both work as feds? I think if you know this and are really coworkers it could cause issues for you. It’s bad for lots of reasons (like where are her taxes going) and eventually she can deal with the consequences. If there is no possibility that it will come back to you knowing about it and not reporting it, just let it be and it will come to natural conclusion.
Sounds like a problem that will become self-limiting for her very quickly, no?
I understand where you are coming from and agree that it is frustrating to see people thumb their noses at rules and get away with it. For your own sanity, though, unless there is a material impact due to her deceit (like, she’s a firefighter pretending to be on call while actually out of town), let this play out naturally.
You definitely don’t have to congratulate her. If needed, tell her you think it’s unethical so in order to preserve the friendship, she needs to stop bringing it up.
I doubt her story (that it’s all fine) is true — let us know how it actually pans out.
I would point out the issues in a practical way and not make it an ethics lecture. Like “seriously? Don’t you get paid based on location for cost of living reasons? I’d be way too nervous about the consequences of hiding!” and then that’s enough.
Yikes, this would make me think less of someone. This is very deceitful. But I would make a short comment along the lines of “I could never” versus going ham on a friend. Not your circus, not your monkey, unless you have obligations to report because, say, you supervise her.
I am an employment lawyer, and my company is full remote. If we find out someone has moved without authorization, then we absolutely will give them an opportunity to move back to their original country/location if there was limited deceit, but if it was not limited, we’ll terminate you FAST for behavior like this, because it goes to honesty/moral compass of the employee, and we don’t want that here.
This stuff is pretty easy to figure out. There will be in-person meetings that she won’t attend in person, lack of badge swipes, a desk phone that never gets picked up, an empty office/desk when people are looking for her, etc.
If an agency is trying to reduce headcount, she will be on the chopping block.
The DOGE crew is also using AI tools to figure this stuff out. They will write code to figure out whose badges haven’t been swiped at all within the month after RTO and will push the agencies to terminate those employees. Congress can use that as an excuse to cut agency funding.
Sit back and watch. She has a baby and lives across the country? This won’t go well for her.
This. It works in theory but won’t work in practice. And I don’t think any supervisor knowing she wasn’t in the office would sign off on a timesheet saying she was. IIRC from my govt days, govt timesheets specify whether you worked in the office or remote every day.
Personally, I’d be cheering her own for getting one over on the man.
I’d be cheering for this to blow up on her.
I wouldn’t be. Remember – WE are the man, when it comes to government employees. So I am subsidizing her 25% higher salary that she is lying to obtain by living out of state.
I’d say nothing more beyond what you’ve already warned her about – badge swipes and coworkers who will rat her out. Not even ratting out so much as people will notice her office lights are never on and she only ever dials into meetings.
Friend may also not realize that if you’re caught in locality fraud by the government, whether you’re fired or not, you have to give all the money back — if you’re taking DC money while living in Arkansas, the government claws back that differential.
Any chance your friend took the buyout offer and just isn’t being open about it? Because when I hear someone making statements that don’t add up about their job, it usually means that someone has already been laid off and just aren’t saying it publicly yet.
If her parents live at the right address, I expect that she’s budgeting to make regular return trips so she can work in office for a week every 2-3 months while her parents watch the baby.
DH got approved to telework for a year like 20 years ago. In theory his agency didn’t do telework yet but they really wanted to retain him so they allowed it and then they extended it and then they relocated the position to our local research centre instead of the main research centre half way across the country. Depends how badly your supervisor wants you.
Dog people. We have a new to us 8 month old pup. She’s *always* got energy and 75% of the time it’s crazy energy. DH and I both WFH and have super flexible jobs. We cannot leave her out of the crate unsupervised and there are no safe spaces outside the crate (she has been chewing our trim so literally every room is out, and she can jump a puppy playpen). She is comfortable in the crate but doesn’t like getting in it.
How much of her day can she be in the crate? We are fine taking her out and giving her breaks all day long but DH especially feels guilty that she can’t just hang out.
Today was:
6:15-8:45: DH and I get up, dog is actively played with (fetch, training, play) for about an hour and then supervised while she roams around the house intermittently causing a bit of puppy trouble.
8:45-11:15: crate
11:15-12: outside time in the yard, some fetch and scratches, 10 minutes of leash training
12-1: crate
1-2: actively being played with by an adult and 2 responsible kids.
2-4: crate
4-5:30: about 30 active playtime, including leash training “walks”, then outside in the yard with the kids.
5-7: dinner, crate
7-8:30: out of the crate, “walks” as training, playtime
8:30- crate for the night (she sleeps 8:30-whenever we wake up).
I feel like for two people that are home all the time this is a lot of crate time. I would be fine leaving her in the kitchen or mudroom except she chews the cabinets and chair legs if unsupervised and bored (yes, she has chew toys). And she’s not badly or whiney once in the crate but she does resist getting in.
Thoughts? FWIW we have a trainer coming tomorrow to help with leash walking (which will make it so we can walk her and hopefully get rid of more of this energy) and we will ask but I’m curious what the working public thinks as well.
Sounds mean
Huh? This is not at all mean. Have you ever trained a dog?
Agree. I’d never do this to my dog. Take the dog for a long walk and you’ll solve a lot of your problems.
That schedule does not seem bad to me, tbh. Before WFH was the norm for us (and before our pup at the time could stay out), he would be in there roughly 8-12 and then 1-5 (husband went home for lunch) and then bedtime (whenever we went to bed – 6ish).
He was a little older – 1.5 years – and came to us crate trained. He LOVED the crate…and then learned to love snoozing on the couch, lol.
I’ve seen playpens for pups. If you have space, you could set it up in the living room with toys so she isn’t crated but isn’t running free.
We have a playpen for dogs. She jumps it. Also, she is much calmer in her crate than in the pen (she wants to get out of the pen but the crate is just nbd).
You’re crating a puppy for >16 hours a day? No wonder she has crazy energy. Is doggy daycare an option? Can you puppy proof whatever room you’re in?
Alternatively- this may not be the dog for you.
This–puppies are not designed to be in crates the majority of their daytime hours. You need to throw money at this–doggy daycare, child in the hood taking dog for walks, paying a professional dogwalker to take the dog on adventures a few days a week, etc.
Some breeds are NOT chill. Some puppies are not chill. Your puppy is telling you she needs more exercise/stimulation.
And as to the chewing, that will subside in a month or two–eight months is the worst time.
OP here and this is why we have a trainer coming. She cannot walk on a leash now so walks aren’t an option (by cannot I mean she’s 50lbs and runs full speed away from you on the lead). Instead it’s either fetch or other playtime, training, or practice walks. DH and I both run 3++ miles daily (well, we did before the dog!!) and would happily run or walk her but right now it’s not possible.
I really hope this will be the solution once the trainer is able to get her to understand the leash. It sounds like she may really take to the leash once she wraps her head around the opportunities it will open up for her!
Puppies are basically velociraptors until they are 2 or 3 years old.
When our dog was a puppy, any time he wasn’t immediately under our direct supervision, he was in his crate. He got lots of playtime and activity, but was definitely not unsupervised out of the crate until he was beyond the velociraptor stage. He did sleep on our bedroom floor out of the crate most nights, but that was with our door shut so we could keep track of him. If he started causing mischief during the night, we put him in his crate.
As an adult dog, he voluntarily spends time in his crate throughout the day. It’s like his bedroom where he goes to hang out when he needs to chill. We only shut him in there when we leave the house (and we ALWAYS shut him in there when we leave the house).
This isn’t true of all breeds- many dogs mellow out after they turn 1. This isn’t helpful to OP but it’s important to research breeds beforehand if you aren’t willing and able to manage a high energy dog. Or adopt an adult shelter dog whose personality is fully developed.
I do think that too much crating can make them more velociraptory. I don’t know that OP’s schedule sounds like too much though, though apparently the puppy is not expending enough energy.
This sounds like an extremely normal amount of crate time for a puppy, in my experience.
FWIW, all the dogs I’ve crate trained have ended up really liking the safety of their crates and they’ll get in even when not asked to if they need a break.
The dog is out of the crate for only ~5 hours/ day.! That should not be normal.
Can you take her to doggy day care a couple days per week? It will tire her out and reduce crate time. I know adult dogs that don’t behave unless they go to daycare regularly.
+1
Can you get a different enclosure option so she has more room outside the crate but can’t get to the walls? We have a freestanding enclosure that’s about 45 inches high encloses a 5x5ish area (bought on Chewy, I think). Our dog has a comfy bed in there for naps but also space to play with toys. Also try puzzle games, licky mats, or toys designed for extended chewing — tiring their brain is just as important as tiring their body. Seconding the suggestion of daycare or group walks/hikes with a service a couple of days a week once her vaccines are all done. I also once had a rescue that was chewing the walls due to essentially PTSD; I suspect yours is just puppy energy at 8 months but it may be worth talking to your vet at some point about a low dose of trazodone or prozac. Total game changer for our stressed out little pup.
It’s not awful but it is kind of a lot of crate time. I’d look into a doggie daycare and maybe baby proofing one room so the dog can be in their unsupervised (anti-chew sprays, chair leg protectors, etc.).
Fwiw we baby gated our kitchen/mudroom and I worked in the kitchen for 2-3 hours in the afternoon the first 18 months we had my puppy to give her some more freedom. Lick mats and puzzle toys were helpful for mentally exhausting a dog too.
I swear this puppy management schedule looks more intense than my newborn schedule. I second the doggie daycare suggestion.
Another option we have used when our dogs were at this stage is to keep them on-leash in the house, tethered to a responsible human. I liked using one of the leashes that are for jogging (attached to a waist belt).
We also fairly quickly graduated to having the dog hang out with us in a room that has a door that closes, so she couldn’t wander far.
Even aside from being super-high energy, my dogs (Labs) were not reliably potty trained at that age, so strict supervision was necessary for quite a while.
To add… baby gates are your friend if your house is open plans without doors.
my kids have spent the week BEGGING for a puppy and this is reminding me as to why i dont want one
This is it- she’s a full on velociraptor. We are trying to figure out what kind of home she could be in if not ours- she needs 100% supervision if not in the crate and I can’t think of a home that has that. I’m intermittently SAH, my kids are older and responsible, and we both WFH. We have had a young dog before, but it was before kids. This one is definitely high maintenance in terms of needing stimulation but I think we are realizing that the more we interact with her the more she needs so we are trying to find a balance. Right now she’s outside and pretty content but she also digs so can’t just chill there all day.
I’m hopeful that cracking the leash training will let us tire her out more. Until then we are doing everything suggested- chew toys, puzzle toys, training (she knows lots of command and my kids practice with her).
I do think doggie daycare would do her some good. We’ve done play dates with other same age dogs and it helped a lot.
Dogs need to learn how to have an off switch. Reward her for being calm. She’s laying calmly on the floor? Great! What a good dog. She gets a small treat. I also like place training for this. You have to have reasonable expectations of a puppy but there’s no better time to start than now.
But sometimes puppies are just needy. I think this is kind of a hard stage because they’re not little babies that sleep for 18 hours a day and just waddle around. Yes, she can do more things than she could when she was 3 months old but she also wants more, but hasn’t calmed down enough or learned how to switch off. She’s also probably boundary testing and trying to figure out how much she runs the show by, for example, demanding attention, jumping out of the pen.
Make sure you’re still doing enough positive reinforcement with the crate – chews, treats, etc. Hopefully your trainer can give you some tips on training her to NOT jump out of the exercise pen, because that would be a great solution. You can increasingly make her space bigger and bigger as she deserves it.
I will always recommend more mental stimulation for dogs, especially dogs that just always seem to be “on” despite lots of exercise. Try more training, try nose work (she’s still young so it would be a slow intro), try puzzle toys. Sniffing also wears out their little brains and relaxes them. You can do a “sniffari” – just take her out to newish places (doesn’t have to be a great journey.. a new street will do) and let her sniff things.
Try bitter apple spray or Tabasco sauce on things she’s chewing. Only took once for my dog to get that the chair leg was not for her.
We have crate trained all of our dogs. They were crated while we were at work until each was mature enough and well behaved enough to be out of a crate. Your scheduled crate time looks normal to me. However, I would be concerned that the puppy is not getting enough exercise. Hopefully, that resolves when the trainer comes out to help. That age and size needs a lot of exercise (we did morning, noontime, and evening walks each day while crate training). We also had what we called crate projects that we gave to pups each morning and afternoon in the crate (kong filled with food and peanut butter, frozen carrot, etc. – just something different to do).
OP here- and honestly we expected what you laid out and can absolutely do that level of engagement. I run 2-4 miles every day, DH walks the kids to and from school (4 miles total) and takes himself on a lunch walk. My kids are home all summer and old enough to walk the dog around the neighborhood. We are walk/run people! She just cannot be walked right now (like, it’s unsafe for everyone. She will pull hard, into traffic, choking herself in the process and or just chomp at the leash). We have a gentle leader, a harness, etc but are holding off until the trainer does an assessment because we don’t want to use the wrong tool.
I think we were caught off guard because we have “dog safe” spaces, like our kitchen and mudroom, but we were not expecting her to chew the chair leg *while we were home and watching * and also not anticipating that she would chew on the trim (including the mudroom). We have taken the pen apart and put it against the wall in the mudroom so she can have that space but tbh, she’s better in the crate than this mudroom monstrosity.
Hi,
Just got an 8-month old puppy myself. Training the dog is key, and you’re getting a trainer, who will help you manage this.
The thing about puppies is that they need exercise but they ALSO need rest, and like babies, they’re not always great about letting themselves rest. If you can do a longer walk/run at the beginning of the day and at the end of the day, then take her out for small walks a few times a day with some play/training time, then letting her rest in the crate is really helpful.
All to say: people here will have very different experiences and different expertises. And like with babies, people often think that what worked for them is universal. Have some patience until the trainer starts. And expect that some of your house (including the trim) will be used as chew toys.
Hiring a trainer was the right decision. You really can’t tire a high energy dog without walking it. Her current behavior makes a lot more sense knowing that she isn’t getting walked. Ask your trainer if they recommend pinch collars- at a certain point you might have to decide between the collar and the crate.
We never crated our puppy like that. We did put up baby gates to limit her access to parts of the house. But puppies play and they sleep too. That seems like a very odd way to socialize a pet. Just put stuff the dog would chew on away.