Weekend Open Thread
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Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
This Ann Taylor top looks like a great one for work or play — and it's in the same family as the reader favorite mixed media pleated blouse.
I love the little lace details, as well as the V-neck combined with the very slight collar. The fact that it's machine washable is a bonus.
The top comes in the pictured white and blue print, white, buttercream, black, navy, and a saturated kelly green. All are available in sizes XXS-XXL, but the white and buttercream options are also available in sizes XXS-XL (but lucky sizes only in the buttercream).
The weekend sale at Ann Taylor is a pretty great one — 50% off everything, priced as marked, with free shipping, so these blouses come down to $32-$34.
Ooh: I just updated the sales below and there are a LOT of good ones — happy summer solstice, everyone!
Sales of note for 6/20/25:
- Nordstrom – Get an extra 25% off clearance styles through 6/22. Designer clearance up to 60% off
- Ann Taylor – 50% off everything plus free shipping
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 1000+ new women's markdowns
- Eloquii – Semi-annual clearance, up to 80% off
- J.Crew – Big Summer Event: Up to 50% off almost everything (ends 6/23) + extra 50% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Free shipping today (6/20) only. Up to 60% off + extra 20% off orders $100+
- M.M.LaFleur – 4 Days Only: The Warehouse Sale — up to 70% off — “a sale so good it's tacky.” Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Semi-annual event, up to 50% off seasonal faves
- Spanx – End of season sale
- Talbots – Sale on sale, 30% off all markdowns + extra 20% off
this looks like scrubs, doesn’t it? maybe med spa vibes?
I think it’s really pretty!!
that’s fair! how would you style it? it might be the way the image is cropped that’s throwing me off, actually.
Not the initial Anon, but this is the sort of top I’d either wear untucked with a pair of black or navy cigarette pants or tucked into a navy pencil skirt for work. For a more casual look, I’d wear with white jeans (cropped, light flare) or with jean shorts.
IMO black pants would look terrible with this.
But I’m not a person who thinks black goes with “everything.” It doesn’t.
I thought retiree on the golf course? Or wife not playing golf, sitting in the golf course cafe?
And probably blonde with minimal curves. This color palette is very specific and the shape looks unforgiving. It’s doing no favors to the model.
This may be a hot take, but in response to the woman asking earlier about dating, I would advise not to give up. It is easy in your 20s and 30s to not feel lonely since you are surrounded by friends. But as you get older, being single becomes more and more isolating. Finding a partner doesn’t have to look like gardening and fireworks – if you are not a big gardener, you can find someone with a similar drive. But at it’s core, it’s about having a best friend and companion to go through life with, to have someone to take care of you and reassure you in difficult moments, and can to life immeasurably. There is nothing wrong with being single, and I think being single is probably better as a woman than being with 80% of men out there, but it’s worth giving it another shot if you feel like you can to meet someone.
On the other hand, you don’t want to settle just out of fear of being alone in the future. My motto is, “I’d rather be alone than wish I was.”
I think that was an Ann Landers or similar kind of quote and it really impacted me and it’s my motto too!
As a counterpoint, the older I get the more I feel like marriage is only a benefit to men and detrimental to women.
+1000
One thing I’ve been noticing lately is just how much time is spent managing mediocre husbands emotionally and making sure they feel valued – things like making sure to laugh at his lame joke he’s made 500 times before, over-thanking him for completing a basic task, over-rewarding him with things like a whole day off to go fishing when he watched the kids for one hour the day before, asking his opinion on something when you don’t actually need it, complimenting him just to try to improve a bad mood, and more. It’s exhausting and I’ve watched many women in my family get more exhausted themselves doing it all their lives.
Yes this! There were people on the morning thread saying (re single parenthood) that even if you don’t have an equitable division of labor, some help is better than none. And yes I get that 70-30 or 80-20 sounds better on paper than doing everything alone. But I’m not sure that 20% is worth it, when you factor in how much time and effort you’ll spend managing the man and his emotions. My divorced mom friends all say it was truly like having another child and life is so much easier when you only have your actual children to take care of.
+1 men require so much management and care, they really aren’t worth it.
This is an incel comment with the genders swapped.
Nah I’m married to a reasonably tolerable man, but I see how useless my friends spouses are. Even my own dad is non functional.
My best friend is married to the world’s biggest man baby. The bar is so, so low for men.
Incel wouldn’t be a word if it weren’t for men.
The phrase ‘incel’ was termed by a woman describing herself, so you are wrong.
My best friend is too. She’s beautiful, kind, accomplished, high-earning and a devoted mom, and her husband is just the biggest loser in every aspect. I would feel utterly hopeless if I was an average single woman.
Get real, it was popularized because of men.
Sorry you only know shitty men and women who find them attractive!
I agree, and I’m happily married. But I would 100% not date again if my husband died. And I’m not that old, only late 30s.
Same here. Happily married and if my one-in-million husband died, I don’t think I would date.
3rd. My husband is fine and not totally useless like some of these guys I read about, but I would absolutely never date again if we divorced or he died. Not worth the trouble. I’m mid 40s FWIW.
i’m happily married also — don’t you guys feel like you would miss having a steady dinner companion or +1 for events? my aunt got divorced late in life (late 60s) and while she doesn’t want to marry again this was the number 1 thing that I think she wanted in a companion. she got really sick of being invited with all of her retired friends & their husbands out to eat and being alone.
I’d love to find someone but I’ve been trying and failing for 20 years. I’m tired and hurt and I do not need to be guilted or scared into continuing to pour energy into something that is not working for me. Unless you have an eligible single male friend to offer up, no one needs your condescending help.
I’m in my early 40s, almost through with a divorce, am starting to (low key) see an exceptionally good guy… and this advice grated on me, too.
Coming off a hellish marriage: so many women berated me about leaving. (My married guy friends cheered me on the most!) It just meant that I left when things were horrific, not when I knew it was unworkable.
It’s so, so easy to tell women to suck it up and be in a mediocre marriage. Can we stop, please?
I wasn’t saying stick with a mediocre person. I was saying to the OP this morning, who asked if she should give up, that there are pragmatic reasons to not stop searching for a good companion in your thirties.
I mean yeah it’d be nice to have a best friend and companion and someone who’ll care for me but mid 40s I’m of the opinion that you can’t force it. If you get married just to get married you often end up not very cared for yet he gets a cook, cleaner, and housekeeper. Yes most people here hire help but in most households STILL women do much more than men.
Men and women are wired to care about different things.
Trust me, I’m not wired to enjoy vacuuming.
No, they’re socialized to.
My husband does all of the cleaning in our family.
my husband does the bulk there too — all the dishes and 90% of the laundry. i don’t even know how to use our vacuum.
These comments are insanely sexist, jeez.
The ratio of competent women to competent men is incredibly skewed.
Yup. There are good men out there but they’re much harder to find than good women.
But not impossible? These comments act like men are a monolith who are all bad. I dislike the married women saying “I got my perfect husband, but the rest of you could never as every other man is terrible.” I have a great husband, and I know there are many others out there just like him. Even if fewer good men than good women, there are still good men.
The imbalance is significant enough that I think it’s a big hurdle for most women. It doesn’t mean you should give up if you want marriage, but I really sympathize with women who are ready to be done with dating.
I agree with Anon at 3:42. I got married to a wonderful man when I was 36, and my life is better for it. But (online) dating was a slog at times.
Like I said, insanely sexist.
Have you been picked yet?
I think that life can be made better or worse by a partner. I personally am thankful that my partner has become the human I hoped I was marrying. He happens to be genuinely kind, open to learning and growing and exploring his own weaknesses, happy to be a parent and a partner, my biggest cheerleader, and the first person I want to call when something happens (good or bad). I’m lucky to have this partnership.
I think back to the people I dated before him and it was… always so much work. So exhausting. I was constantly aware of everything. Was I ‘enough’? Was I thin/pretty/smart/successful/stylish enough? Was I ‘fun’ enough? Was I enough of the ‘brand’ of girl they wanted? Did I have that ‘cool girl’ energy? It was exhausting. I would pick being single over any of those partners.
One of the things I’ve come to just… accept… is that life isn’t what we’ve planned but you figure out what the best path is from wherever you land. I planned on living in London and being single and fabulous and then planned on 2 children spaced 2 years apart, born in May so I would have summers off. Well. That didn’t happen but the path I took is different and also happy. Just because something doesn’t look the way we planned doesn’t mean it can’t be wonderful.
(Note – To this morning’s poster: I know many moms who are single moms. You need support and you need resources. One idea I’ll note is that two single (foster) moms who I know are essentially faux family for one another. Your support system might not be biological family. If you want to make it work, go for it.)
There are lots of people who have long marriages that are not to their best friend.
I found today’s Modern Love very interesting. Did anyone else read? Would love to hear your thoughts.
Queen pick-me. Life is better without men and the male gaze.
I went to read it after seeing this. Interesting is definitely the word. My gut reaction is I’m not sure it’s so nuanced as men retreating from vulnerability and being scared of revealing their imperfection. Rather, I think by embracing p orn as a culture we have destroyed people’s understanding of intimacy, and conditioned people to want reward without responsibility.
It’s similar to what social media et al are doing to real friendships and personal connections. Destroying the fabric of our communities because we no longer want to put in the effort to build something, and we don’t realize we are missing all the best parts.
(But as I said, that is my gut reaction. TBH I found it a bit word salad-y, but perhaps I need to sit with it a bit.)
Just clicked and so much word salad.
It really is ‘enlightened’ word salad.
SO MUCH word salad. I wouldn’t want to date her either, ha.
Can someone post a gift link?
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/20/style/modern-love-men-where-have-you-gone-please-come-back.html?unlocked_article_code=1.QU8.phTU.rdjX1zuvIwj3&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
To save others the bother of clicking, it’s called Men, Where Have You Gone? Please Come Back: So many men have retreated from intimacy, hiding behind firewalls, filters and curated personas, dabbling and scrolling. We miss you.”
It’s extremely self-important. I desperately wanted to stop reading after “I took a table. I ordered well. And I watched the room.”
And all of her sentences read this way.
The NYTimes goes crazy for that sort of thing. Thirsty pretension
It feels ahistorical. Marriage has not historically been about romance, but about finances. I think what she is arguing for is mostly fiction.
Isn’t that an upper class thing? (I assume it’s still a factor even)
Unfashionable person question – are ankle pants just what’s in for the summer or is it what’s been trending in pants for months irrespective of weather? I live in suit pants so I pay little attention yet recently pulled out 1-2 old trouser type pants from the Gap that I can wear to work. Much lighter material and wash and wear so dry cleaning isn’t an issue. Figured I’d buy 1-2 new ones since these are old. Cannot find a pant anywhere this isn’t an ankle pant. I’m a tall woman and they look ridiculous like a kid wearing hand me downs that are too short – esp sitting down where you can see half the calf. Any chance we see long pants in the fall or is this just the style?
where are you shopping? lots of mall stores carry pants of various lengths, although wide-leg ankle is definitely on trend. Like, here- https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/pants/flare/carolina-flare-pant-in-stretch-linen-blend/BZ404?display=standard&fit=Classic&color_name=flax-ivory&colorProductCode=BZ404
i’ve seen a ton of wide-legged, full-length styles made from twill, cotton, crepe
Should’ve specified not ankle pants and not flairs either or a very minor unnoticeable flair. Don’t think it exists right now.
https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/pants/straight/kate-straight-leg-pant-in-four-season-stretch/CC441?display=standard&fit=Classic&color_name=black&colorProductCode=CC441
https://www.quince.com/women/ultra-stretch-ponte-straight-leg-pant?color=navy&gender=women&tracker=collection_page__%2Fwomen%2Fpants__Pants__18
https://www.anntaylor.com/tall/tall-suits/cat650010/tall-straight-pant-seasonless-stretch/827260.html?priceSort=DES
Does anyone have a ninja creami? What are your favorite things to make with it?
Anyone want to chime in about wedding etiquette, the rehearsal dinner version?
I recently flew across the country for my niece’s wedding. I didn’t know what any of the plans were – wedding was Saturday night and MOTB told us to arrive Wednesday for the “festivities.” It asked a couple of times where I needed to be and when, but there didn’t seem to be many festivities. I mostly chalked it up to the insanity before a wedding and so my nuclear family and I just entertained ourselves.
The night before the wedding we got a last minute invitation to a bar for drinks. When we got there and mingled with the other guests it became obvious that most of them had just come from the rehearsal dinner, which was awkward because we weren’t invited!
Neither of the aunts on my side had been invited so my sister and I were just kind of off in a corner of the bar trying to be pleasant, but it did kind of sting. Friends from college and aunts and uncles from the groom’s side were invited, though. The difference was made more obvious by the fact that the rehearsal dinner guests were dressed to the nines in a color theme the bride had requested and we were told it was a “casual bar hang” so we were dressed for that.
I thought the rule was out of towners and family were invited to the rehearsal dinner?
Anyway, another wedding coming up in the family soonish, and this time I’m the parent. So really, who gets invited?
I thought the rehearsal dinner was for those who are actually in the wedding, so shows how much I know!
No, I don’t think out of towners should be automatically invited to the rehearsal dinner. It’s meant for people who need to be part of the rehearsal. Can they be? Sure. Is it a rule? No.
That sounds odd and rude but I don’t think out of towners are always invited to the rehearsal dinner. I always thought it was just the wedding party and the couples’ parents and siblings (+spouses if applicable), and maybe grandparents. That’s what we did. But 95% of our guests were out of towners so if we’d invited everyone it would have been the same size as the wedding.
There is no such blanket rule. The rule is you communicate clearly who is or is not invited. That was super weird and rude of your host. Why tell you to come Wednesday and then not have anything for you to attend?!?
Common rules – wedding party, immediate family, grandparents. Or all of the above plus whoever is in from out of town.
But in some cases including everyone from out of town would leave an awkward number of people “out,” like 85% of the guests at our wedding were from out of town, so we either needed to keep it small (which we did, everyone else organized their own fun with our guidance on dining & attraction options) or include everyone (which was not in budget).
I’m no expert but I think it depends on the budget? I’ve been invited to the rehearsal dinner of my college roommate (not in the bridal party). it was mostly family and some out of town guests. other weddings were pretty clearly close family and bridal party only (likely due to budget). If you have budget to include out of town folks, great! If not, don’t tell them to show up early for wedding events they aren’t invited to.
Now that many people are from out of town, this is no longer the case. Back in the day when way fewer people were out of towners, you’re right – they were all invited. If you invite all out of town guests now it might as well be a second wedding!
Now many people do welcome drinks (some are no host, some are hosted by the couple or their family) which is a nice in between option. Everyone is invited (but with no expectation to attend), but it’s more relaxed. For example, when my parents got married probably 80% of guests were local (all of both families and most friends – really the only guests coming from away were college friends of my parents).
As for family, we’ve just done immediate family and special guests (so parents and siblings of the couple, grandparents (if alive) and if you have like an aunt and uncle you’re very close to) plus of course the wedding party snd everyone’s plus one.
Then after the rehearsal dinner you all go to welcome drinks.
Traditionally yes, the rehearsal dinner was wedding party and +1s, immediate family and +1s and out of town guests… but that was before most guests were from out of town.
Also traditionally the family of the groom pays for the rehearsal dinner so it wouldn’t be your niece’s or her mother’s guest list to manage.
Now most people do smaller rehearsal dinner (family, wedding party and all +1s) and then welcome drinks for all guests (which can be an open bar or no host / pay your own way or anything in between)
in my circles rehearsal dinner is for those in the wedding.. bridesmaids, groomsmen & their partners; parents, siblings if not in the wedding, sometimes grandparents. Welcome party, if they have one, includes all out of town guests.
It sounds like rehearsal dinner was hosted by the groom’s parents & they maybe insisted on inviting their own extended family?
In the future I’d never arrive on Wed for a Saturday wedding unless you’re making a vacation out of it or were specifically invited to other events when you rsvp’ed/listed on the wedding website.
Yeah it was a whole thing. I booked to arrive Thursday night, thinking there would be something Friday night. But when I sent info to MOTB, she insisted we change our arrival to Wednesday night due to vague “festivities” – which meant I got hit with change fees, and then no festivities.
It’s honestly ok. They live in an historic area so we did some tourism kind of stuff and made a (very hot and sweaty) vacation of the non-festivity days.
I think I’ve always gone to the rehearsal dinner when I’ve been from out of town — if it was an absolutely huge wedding (like 5+ bridesmaids) then maybe not.
but agree with the others that it’s the groom’s family’s burden
5 bridesmaids is pretty average, unless they just do 1 attendant each.
The welcome drinks have replaced the “invite out of towners and extended family to the rehearsal dinner”.
Thanks. I’m OP and this has been very helpful for our own planning. But we are for sure not going to preference one similarly situated group over the other!
I agree that the old rules about out of town guests no longer apply. But I think the important thing is to treat everyone of the same level the same way. So either all cousins are invited or none of them is. Either all aunts and uncles are invited or none of them are. It’s not our favorite cousins get an invite and the rest don’t. As to friends, I think you can limit it to those who are in the wedding but then either all the friends or none of the friends. Don’t invite some friends who aren’t in the wedding party (which are deemed “better” friends) and not others.
I do not understand why you were told to arrive on Wednesday if there wasn’t an activity for you until Saturday. That isn’t a good way to manage someone’s time or expectations.
Yup.
Even Emily Post doesn’t think out of town guests need to be invited.
There is no rule. The people who get invited are ones who receive an invitation which did not include you
No hard rule about who to invite to a rehearsal dinner but it’s very strange that they would ask you to come earlier for festivities without actually having any festivities for you. We are skipping the rehearsal dinner entirely bc weddings are so expensive but we are not dictating when anyone needs to arrive aside from immediate family for pre ceremony photos.
How much of an issue would it be for you if your husband called your 4-year-old a “jerk” frequently (not to his face, more like “ugh he’s being a jerk again.”) I’m visiting family and a SIL-figure is having that situation with her husband. I was on the periphery of the group she was venting to about it and didn’t say anything, but she seemed upset and was told by 1-2 others that it was nbd. It seems like an issue to me though. From how she described it, her husband seems to truly think that of their child.
The occasional offhand comment not in the presence of the child wouldn’t bother me. But it seems like a bigger issue if the husband really views the child with contempt.
4 year olds ARE jerks
the phrase “threenager” exists for a reason
babies are also huge assholes
Yeah, they are completely self-absorbed. It is normal and healthy but also can be extremely annoying. 4 was my least favorite age frankly.
Haha my extremely thoughtful and kind 24 year old daughter was the biggest asshole baby on the planet. I think she got it all out of her system then, because she has been so agreeable ever since – even as a teenager!
PS as my kid got older, she loved hearing about how she had been a difficult baby. She would draw pictures of a screaming baby and label it “me as a bad baby.”
I would tell her it was a good thing she was so cute, because we might otherwise have given her back to the stork.
She is not traumatized by this, and I suppose a kid wouldn’t be traumatized by being called a jerk if it’s normal to them. It’s all in the tone.
Toddlers and young kids are frequently jerks so I don’t think it’s a huge issue unless aA stated above the husband views his son as a jerk consistently
It’s developmentally appropriate for toddlers to be jerks. They haven’t developed empathy and consideration for others so they’re just selfish chaos machines.
I think of “jerk” as kind of… age inappropriate. Like a 4yo is going to act out because that’s what they do. Unless the kid is being willfully mean, it seems like a thoughtless kind of insult. Like say ‘kid is whiny today because he’s tired’ or whatever.
My sister calls her 3 year old an a-hole all the time. She still loves him.
The issue is not whether this is objectively fine, but that your sister isn’t comfortable with it. She needs to come to an agreement with her husband. Hopefully the fact that it bothers her is enough for him, and he doesn’t use this as an opportunity to prove an unprove-able point or assert power about saying what he wants.
Yea but this seems like overly behavior policing
Maybe, or maybe there’s context that means it is a problem. Like, if a father is only ever talking about his child in a negative way and calling them names, I think that’s worrisome.
If it walls like a duck …
… there are people out there who DON’T call their toddlers jerks? I haven’t met any!
It’s got to beat not knowing that they’re being jerks.