Thursday’s Workwear Report: Striped Open Cardigan
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
The colors of this Ann Taylor cardigan look like a perfect summer sunset and the viscose/nylon blend will make it a perfect topper for all of your summer-y dresses.
I have a lot of navy in my closet, so I’m leaning towards pairing this with a navy sheath for the office, but I do love the coordinating pink skirt that it’s styled with here.
If you like this striped pattern, it also comes in a sweater dress, top, and skirt.
The striped cardigan is $89.50 and comes in sizes XXS-XXL; the open cardigan also comes in a variety of other colors and patterns. Prices are marked an extra 30% off today, and do note that you can take an extra 50% off their semi-annual sale, including the new markdowns.
Sales of note for 7/15/25:
- Nordstrom – The Anniversary Sale is open for everyone — here's our roundup!
- Ann Taylor – Semiannual sale, extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 50% off clearance
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear with code
- Eloquii – Limited time, 100s of styles starting at $9
- J.Crew – End of season cashmere sale, take 40% off select cashmere
- J.Crew Factory – All-Star Sale, 40-70% off entire site and storewide and extra 60% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off seasonal faves, plus new penny loafers and slingbacks
- Spanx – End of season sale
- Talbots – All markdowns, buy 2 get 1 free, on TOP of an extra 40% off (last day is 7/15)
Best pants, and first pair of wide-leg pants that have worked for me (5’0, age 40, hourglass with a mom belly.) Usually wear a size 2 and got an xxs petite.
https://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=658547012&vid=3
If anyone’s curious, this links to: Retreat linen high rise wide leg pant – casual with drawstring and pockets
I am a very different body shape and also get compliments when I wear these pants. They are very comfortable and cool but do not look messy.
Same here! I love them. Perfect summer pants.
What car do you drive and what car would you drive if money were no object?
I currently have a 2017 Toyota Hybrid RAV4 with 144,000 miles. Just needed $4k in repair costs (some were basic maintenance like brakes, spark plugs, and serpentine belt.) Owe $8k on it at 4%, so still think it makes sense to keep it but considering getting a different car and keeping this one for teenage twins.
a 20yo used compact sedan that we bought for $7k in cash 11 years ago. We’ve put 10,000 miles total on it since then, for a whopping total mileage of 65k. City living and street parking mean no desire to buy something fancy as it would get dinged up anyway!
If I needed a “nicer” car – like people from work would see it and speculate – maybe a small hybrid SUV? Would be nice to have a little extra space for “suburb run” days and similar, but wouldn’t want to go much bigger for ease of snagging small parking spots.
We are very, very similar.
I drive an ‘01 Camry that I bought for 5k in 2019. It has 55k miles on it. I live in the city and only drive it to go to the beach, hiking, or skiing. I’ll drive it until the wheels fall off.
In an ideal world I’d have a hybrid compact SUV – probably either a Corolla Cross, a HR-V, or a Suburu (Outback or Crosstrek).
In a truly dream world I’d have a rugged, very old (mid 1990s) Jeep Wrangler that I could drive at the beach with no doors and no top :)
Anon from above – are you in Philly? We put mileage on in increments of ~130 (round trip down the shore, say 6-8 times a summer), ~20 (round trip to NJ for shopping, ~6 times a year), or ~200 (round trip for skiing, every couple years), with the occasional local ikea run thrown in :)
No, Baltimore!
Same here, 20 yr old Mercedes which we will drive in the city until it falls apart or the repairs become prohibitive (who knows what will happen to Euro car parts prices under tariffs etc…)
Our other car is a 13 yr old Prius, bought for commuting but now a workhorse whenever we need something transported – that thing is surprisingly roomy and also almost indestructible.
If money were no objection, I’d still not go for something fancy, but would buy something practical like an EV that’s not Tesla. Haven’t really researched any brands or models.
VW Karman Ghia, black with tan leather interior, convertible. There are similar feeling older cars (Mercedes, Jaguar), but I feel like I could swing this. If only I didn’t park on the street and under sticky-sap trees . . .
You can tell that I’m a mom to a five year old, because my immediate thought was that it has no radiator because it’s air-cooled.
Correct!
2022 Honda Passport. I love it and plan to drive it until the wheels fall off.
I’ve never been a luxe car person. I’d honestly buy one of the newer/top model Passports and be happy.
As someone who’s not a car person I agree it’s best to buy a non-flashy, reliable model with the best trim level. My Ford Escape has a heated steering wheel, trunk that closes automatically, blind spot lights on the side mirrors, and memorized settings for the seat position. That’s plenty of luxury for me. Whenever I get an oil change the mechanic comments on what great shape my car is in.
How do you like your RAV4? We have been eyeing that as a potential replacement for my husband’s ancient Yukon. We don’t need quite so much cargo space, but want something that can fit our college kid’s mini fridge and dorm boxes, for instance, while having a bit more ground clearance than my Prius.
I am happily driving my second Prius. The first one was totaled when an underage, speeding drunk driver ran a red light and t-boned me at 70 mph. I walked away with only a few bruises, not even a concussion. Since I put a lot of miles on my vehicles, I would opt for the top trim line with all the features, but would probably just stick with another Prius and not go for something wildly expensive. In a dream world, we would have reliable charging infrastructure that would support a fully electric option.
OP here-I really like it. Good visibility, has nice zip to it, and hybrid. Seats fold flat in the back so can hold a lot and out a roof rack on.
Prius C (the hatchback model) and I adore it – super reliable, handles icy hills with good winter tires, low cost of ownership (both gas and maintenance), big enough to fit my outdoor hobby gear but not so big I feel ridiculous driving it by myself. Only thing I would change is making the front passenger seat a true lie-flat.
I guess if money were truly no object, I’d get one of those ridiculously expensive off road EVs tricked out as a camper van as a second car :)
A mini cooper. Same answer for both questions.
British racing green mini is my dream car!
Same. Burgundy Clubman.
Subaru Forester, which was the closest thing in size/feel I could find to my previous 1997 Toyota 4Runner that I absolutely loved and drove into the ground until it cost more to fix something than it was worth. If money were no object, I would keep my Forester for daily driving but also get a truck so I could then also get a horse trailer. But I don’t want a truck for daily driving and can’t justify owning a vehicle I’d just use a few times a month. I am not a fancy car person. My husband drives a Lexus RX, which I do like and actually looked at when I was replacing my 4Runner, but I thought about throwing horse stuff or muddy hiking boots or pinestraw or bags of dirt in it (I have dirty hobbies) and decided I really just needed a subaru.
2023 Honda CRV hybrid, so happy I literally just paid it off this month. I wish I had bought the higher trim option, which would have had an automatic closing trunk but other than that I am happy so far. If money were no object, I would want lexus or mercedes SUV mainly because I would want a nicer lounge for doing service repairs.
Drive a 2022 Honda Accord. Love it so pretty happy with it.
Dream car is actually a combo: the Volvo station wagon (V60) and a “fun” car – maybe a ~60s jaguar convertible or an old international harvester/willys jeep/vw thing/something like that. Husband isn’t a fan of the fun car idea for (legitimate) safety concerns, and I don’t want the maintenance costs and frequency of a non-Honda/toyota so this is definitely just a dream.
I drive a paid for Chrysler Pacifica minivan.
If money were no object and I didn’t have kids, I would want a Maserati. I think they are beautiful vehicles.
2013 Jeep Patriot with about a 130k miles. I spent about $3k in some maintenance work at the beginning of the year. It’s due for new tires, rotors and brakes, etc. before winter.
I keep toying with getting a new Toyota Sienna on order given I have little kids and sliding doors would be really helpful. But I really am not eager to start up a car payment again. It’s been nice not to have one.
I have an 2022 Audi Q4 EV and a 2011 Subaru Outback. Both paid off.
If money were no object, I’d have a Rivian R1S and an Aston Martin DB12.
I drive a 2018 Audi Q5 with about 25k miles. I like it but the maintenance / repair costs are getting high (8k in the last 2 years) so debating getting something new. With the low miles I think it has a pretty good resale value so probably the right time to do it if I’m not going to drive the Audi into the ground. If I get something new I was thinking about the Acura MDX – with 2 kids a third row would be a nice to have but isn’t a need to have. I don’t want something appreciably bigger than the Q5 since most of my driving is city driving and street parking.
If money were no object I think I’d get an BMW X5.
I drive a turbo-charged, dual exhaust sport model Volvo station wagon.
If money were no object, I would get a Mercedes convertible for fun driving, too.
I just got one and we love it. It is fantastic to drive. We are a family of 3 and my son is comfortable in the backseat. My husband and I both love convertibles, but we live in the city and don’t drive a lot.
I drive a 2018 Prius that I absolutely adore. When we had to replace my husband’s car last year we thought all the available options were horrible. All the Honda and Toyota models that used to be reliably nice have been redesigned so they are cramped inside, handle like boxes on wheels, etc. The newer hybrid engines also seem to have less pickup than my 2018. We ended up with a hybrid Corolla Cross because it was the only thing that was even okay.
My dream car doesn’t exist–it’s a Toyota hybrid from a few years ago but brand-new. They are reliable and the interior stays nice for a long time. The new ones just don’t have the same level of quality. Maybe we should be looking at Lexuses, but in the past those were frumpy old lady cars. There are some fancy brands that look nice, but I don’t like spending time and money on repairs so brands like Audi and Volvo are out.
2022 Volvo XC90 and I would buy the same, just in the hybrid version, if money were no option.
After fifteen years and an awful lot of miles, my household replaced a Hyundai Elantra that had never given us any issues with another Hyundai Elantra. My husband likes cars so he got a sportier one this time. Money wouldn’t change the choice for the daily car (vs. some potential additional fun car).
2025 How nda Civic Si
If I had a little more financial security I would have bought the Acura Integra.
I don’t daydream about cars really but there is probably a manual transmission sports car in the realm of a Porsche I would want if money were truly no object and I had a garage. I have a hard time spending big money on cars, though
I drive a 2016 Audi A3 for commuting and a 2019 Honda Pilot for the kid car. I would go with something electric for the former (Lucid?) and maybe the Mercedes giant SUV for the latter – we used to have an MDX and I liked it better than the Pilot (seats were more comfortable, it didn’t try to brake all the time on country roads which is a huge PITA, etc.)
Lexus hybrid sedan. If money were no object, probably an Audi Q8.
I drive a 2004 Honda Civic that I bought in 2004. Money is no object, and I plan to drive this car as long as possible, which I think will be a long time; it has only needed routine maintenance in 21 years.
It’s a basic practical car and I love that, but I’ll admit I also have an emotional attachment to it.
For a dream car, in a dream world where there was a dealership nearby for service, I would be interested in a Polestar 3 electric SUV, after doing some due diligence to make sure the company was not evil like that other electric car company is.
My neighbor has a gorgeous, restored 1980 fiat spider convertible. Its so, so much fun to drive and needs so, so, so much maintenance.
So my answer would be that car and a toyota prius for the 60% of the time its in the shop.
Etiquette question – I am paying a deposit with the caterers for my daughter’s rehearsal dinner. The invoice has a line item for a gratuity . My plan was to have cash tips with us to tip the servers who actually work the event, but I was not planning to pay an additional 20% of the entire bill to the catering company. Feeling out of touch – is this normal? What would you do?
I would write ‘cash tips’ on the line. It will certainly upset off the owner but the employees will be happy.
Haha, exactly. I never trust the bigger establishments to allocate the tips appropriately. When I was younger I worked at a place where our CC tips went into our (admittedly higher) hourly rate. I hated it and always appreciated a cash tip (which was still pooled between servers, but we got it directly that day.)
A hair place I went to used to give credit card tips (the full tip? who knows) to their workers on a gift card. Use cash whenever possible to tip people.
I find most salons have the stylists’ Venmo and Zelle handles listed at the front desk these days
This is what I would do too.
I hate tipping culture (but switching to just getting paid in tips now due to the tax situation). I feel like it’s a discussion to have with the owner re how things are actually handled. It feels like an ask for a 20% upcharge (in which case, she sets her prices, no?) and tips are usually for the actual waitstaff the day of; I get if they pool things with the kitchen staff (but they are usually compensated on a very different model). But it’s a discussion, I think. I worked catering gigs and it was very much pinching in on the day of here and there to help a friend (so never on the payroll, always paid in cash, etc.) and I feel like wedding gigs are very much gig-economy for waitstaff and not for kitchen staff. But if you are the MOB, you have a 1001 other things on your mind now and stuff to do the day off and I hate that vendors likely thoughtlessly adding a line to an invoice have added to that.
I won’t go into a whole rant about tipping culture but one thing that is actually wild is expecting a tip before a good service has been provided. This happens all the time at counter service places too where you’re not actually getting served.
It’s a hostage fee
I don’t tip at counter service places. Hate me if you want. Those workers are not paid like waitstaff – they are paid at least full minimum wage, if not more. I’m a former server, so I tip well at table service places, but it’s just an upcharge at counter service where I’m getting food and bussing the table myself.
+1.
you don’t tip at all? ever? full minimum wage is not much…
I’d probably do both, write in something on the contract and bring like $40 a server to the dinner. Probably still works out to under 25%, which is around what I’d expect to pay.
Op here – I went back and checked the invoice, and it already included an 11% gratuity. I left that line blank when paying, and have reached out to the coordinator to get details on who that gratuity is shared with. Either way, we do plan to have cash on hand to tip the catering staff and the event space staff who are there on the night of the dinner.
This is appropriate response. I will only caution that you may not SEE all of the staff who work the event if they set up in advance or clean up after. In my state, tips would usually be pooled and shared with back of house staff who work the event but do not interact with the host or guests.
Heading to Chicago for the day for client meeting. One was cancelled and now I’ll have from 12:00-4 to myself. Help me!
1.) Anyone been to the Poetry Foundation?
2.) Best public space to work in around the West Loop area? Ideally close to the Emily Hotel.
Space to work, i would try Good Ambler for a coffee shop vibe, or there is a workbox pretty near you that you can get a day pass for
I’ve been to the Poetry Foundation. It’s a small, moderately charming (in a modern design) library. Cool if you’re a big fan of Poetry magazine or if you want to sit down and read poetry, probably not a destination otherwise.
But sounds like a wonderful place to work, if the OP wants to work during her free block.
Check out the Newberry Library nearby!
Does antique sterling silver have lead in it? The answers on Google are a little confusing and I’m wondering whether there might be someone knowledgeable here. We were given a baby spoon that my baby loves that dates from at least 1919, but we’re wary of letting him use it for meals anymore because of lead risk and not being able to confirm it. I’ve heard that those home kits only really work on paint.
I’d rather be safe than sorry in this situation.
I’d just use anything that old in a purely decorative manner. I forget the year dishes stopped being made with lead, but I think it’s roughly in the 70s. So I’d use that as a guide and display it not use it.
I found a source (that you probably found too) that says the primary lead risk with antique silver was soldered joints, which I assume this spoon doesn’t have. You probably don’t have or want to buy a spectrometer that can actually tell you how many PPM of lead it has (I wouldn’t trust the test swabs, those are meant for things like paint), so I wouldn’t risk it. It’ll look really cute hanging up or in a curio cabinet.
Pragmatic advice: buy another spoon. You can surely find an actual sterling silver spoon, similar shape, that doesn’t have lead.
Chemist advice: lead isn’t alloyed with silver. If there is lead, it’s because the spoon is only plated in silver. Dunk the spoon into a very hot mug of water and remove approximately three seconds later. If the handle is very hot, it’s because it’s pure silver. If not, it’s an alloy.
(Note: I wouldn’t chance a child’s health with this test; it’s there for your own interest about this spoon.)
Last sentence of first paragraph should read “If not, it’s plated.”
Thanks all. To confirm, we did stop using the spoon after realizing we weren’t sure how pure sterling silver really is, but just thought I’d ask. We are confident it’s sterling and not plated, but that’s all we can say. The relative who sent it eats using antique silver every night, but doesn’t have kids.
you can get lead test kits at home depot or the like- I’d just check.
Does anyone have a recommendation for a sports bra for larger breasts (not sure on exact size right now post-pregnancy and breastfeeding but let’s estimate a DD) that has a) true separation between the cups since I can’t stand them rubbing together and b) molded (non-removable) cups/lining to prevent show-through? It needs to be supportive enough for mountain biking and in my dream world, would be appropriate to wear all day in comfort too. Willing to spend whatever I need to spend.
I don’t know what they have in stock right now, but Victoria’s Secret used to have a decent selection of encasement-style sports bras that didn’t smush everything down or have show-through. I think it was the incredible line? The sports nursing bras I tried in the past were all awful. I always wore normal sports bras.
Their quality has gone way down in the last year. I bought the same style for a decade and now the fabric is cheaper, the fit is less comfortable, and the underwire squeaks. I wouldn’t buy from them unless you can shop in person
under armour infinity high impact sports bra or the panache boundless
Natori gravity bra.
Panache 5021. I think it runs a little small in the cups, and uses British sizing, so you may need to try a few sizes. If you want it super comfortable you might need to go up a size in the band; I use mine for running so I need a lot of support.
I’m currently wearing Panache Women’s High Impact Underwire Sports Bra, in a 34E, and it’s great, worth the $$.
These Panache options look great. If anyone has a recommendation for which store to buy from, that would be great. Looks like it is a British brand? I definitely need a good return policy while I figure out sizing. Thanks all!
Bare Necessities is good, or just Amazon
A bra that fits on Reddit is the absolute best place to figure out sizing. Their calculator really works.
Panache.
I think one of the Bravissimo own brand models also have moulded cups and wire, the pink and grey one.
A discussion the other day made me curious – how much do you live off of in a given month after mortgage/rent and major bills (insurance, car, utilities, daycare or tuition etc.), and where does it go? We spend about $4k in a month with about half to food and half to shopping, activities, random house things. Family of 4. Spending spikes higher in months where we book holidays or have major house repairs.
After mortgage and major bills (including daycare, utilities, insurance/taxes, car payments), we probably spend another $12k/month. This goes to housekeeper, landscaping, groceries/meal delivery, eating out, kids’ activities, clothing/personal care, and entertainment. This would be higher during the holidays (gifts, hosting, etc.) and does not include vacations.
Are you willing to share how much you make? Seems like you’re crushing it – well done!
I’m at this level too, but It includes utilities, car payments, and insurance. I make a little over $300,000/year.
About $1100/month, including food, but not including big ticket, one time things like house repairs that we can’t do ourselves.
if we don’t count utility bills and insurance, it’s about $1k per month, for groceries, other household items, the occasional eating out, the occasional clothing purchase, gas. Two person household in the bay area.
I do not understand how people can get by spending so little. Do you just not count a lot of expenses in the budget? Take clothing, for example. A pair of running shoes is at least $150. Two people who each walk daily will go through at least two pairs of shoes apiece per year, so four pairs per year. That’s $50/month in the budget just for running shoes. If you actually run they need to be replaced like twice as often. Or what happens when you need a new suit? That’s most of your monthly budget right there. If you want to replace your bras it’s at least $500 for regular ones and another 500 for sports bras, and that happens every year or so. Etc. etc. Then what about car repairs? Car washes? Haircuts? It all adds up so quickly.
How often are you replacing your bras?? I buy like 1 or 2 a year. I’ve got sports bras that are probably 8 years old and still fine, even with weekly use.
Underwire bras last a year or two max before the wires start to poke through the cushioning. I do laundry once a week so I need a minimum of 8 good ones at a time. So I’m buying at least 8 every two years, usually more like 10 because you need different colors and strap styles. Sports bras last maybe 3 years before they get grungy and the lycra starts to fail. I need at least 6 good ones of those at a time and prefer to have more like 8.
Do you put your bras in the dryer? Very curious to know how they are dying so quickly.
I don’t think it’s typical to wash a bra after every wear. The rule of thumb I’ve heard is after every 2-3 wears. They shouldn’t be getting super sweaty because you wear sports bras for exercise.
I have 3 “every day” bras and they have lasted for many years and they cost much less than $500! Maybe like $80 or something.
I’ve literally never had an underwire poke out and I have some bras that are like 7 or 8 years old. And I put them in the dryer and have large boobs. What are you doing to your bras?
I think sometimes the underwires are more likely to poke through if the fit is off. Or that is what reddit says.
The idea of one that actually fits is laughable.
Signed, IBTC member for whom Pepper doesn’t work
Not the person you’re replying to, but a lot of your things on your list don’t apply to me.
I last bought shoes in 2018 I think. Some people just don’t care about clothing. I work from home and don’t do a lot of running or hiking so my shoes don’t wear out.
I gave away all my business clothes during the pandemic and even before that I shopped at places like LOFT so it wasn’t a huge expense.
I get haircut quarterly at a cheap salon and it’s $35 with tip. I’m 40 and still have minimal gray, so I don’t dye it.
I don’t get regular car washes and although we drive our cars into the ground (my current car is 16 years old), expensive car repairs are very rare – maybe once every five years. Toyotas ftw.
Just being real with you – if you’ve been walking more than just around the inside of your home for 7+ years, you likely need a new pair of running/walking shoes. That’s absurd.
It really depends on how car centric your lifestyle is. I live in suburbia and drive everywhere and really only wear sneakers to walk on a track at the gym and occasionally around cities on a vacation. They look great and are still very comfortable.
Running and walking shoes last between 300 and 500 miles before the cushioning becomes too worn down. I am a lighter person so I go the full 500 miles and I really notice how much more support I get from the new pair than from the old pair.
That estimate seems very low to me. My husband is a serious runner who does buy a new pair of shoes annually but he runs about 40-50 miles a week so he’s probably putting at least 2,000 miles on each pair. I texted him about it and he said the 500 miles is a BS marketing thing invented to sell more shoes. And I would imagine walking impacts the shoe a lot less than running.
We don’t spend money we don’t have. Car wash, obvious DIY. Shoes, we both have resolable ones that cost a bunch 6 or 7 years ago, but heel replacement is maybe $30 once per year at the most. Bras are pretty durable; definitely not a once/year item. My clothes are easily thrifted. He does wear suits and they take some scouring the internet for good ones, but they’re out there. I’m a decent mechanic and we try not to drive much anyway. But the bottom line is we don’t spend money we don’t have, and a well tuned sense of what are needs vs wants.
Yeah, I’m a DDD, so not exactly easy on my bras, but they still last years, plus I usually manage to buy them on sale. Same for running and hiking shoes, which I do concede wear out faster, but I can usually get at much less than list price. I can usually find my favorite models for more like $60-70 if I keep an eye on prices. I don’t wear suits, have longish hair that doesn’t need to be cut that often, and we only have one car that we only wash a few times a year and service once a year because we don’t drive that much.
Groceries are probably about $600 of the total. My last car repair was $180. I cut my own hair (gasp), and had a paid car wash last in 2018 (double gasp). I buy sports bras at Costco and otherwise live in $30-50 bralettes of old navy or athleta or similar. I don’t have a clothes dryer so stuff lasts a long time. One streaming service at a time. No other outsourcing like meal kits, cleaners or landscapers. Last time I bought a suit was for graduation almost a decade ago. I’ve probably worn it three times since. My workplace is very casual so anything goes and fashionable people stand out amongst the crowd.
We probably should replace running shoes a bit more often, but I keep mine closer to $100 than $150.
I didn’t count charitable donations because they come out of a different account than our shared checking. Also vacations aren’t included in that monthly amount.
I basically still live like a student, bringing my lunch to work, shopping second hand and picking up free stuff, using the library, meeting up for board games, catching happy hour, waiting for sales or black Friday to get a new phone etc. I’m fine opting out of stuff that isn’t worth it to me, like when a friend suggested we join them for a concert of a band whose music really didn’t resonate with me, for a $100 per ticket, or beauty treatments.
I feel like this sounds a bit preachy, but I’m only trying to answer the question with context. It’s basically nothing more or less than what my parents modeled, so to me, it feels normal. It enables me to splurge on vacations and gifts when I feel like it and not worry about money.
I think we have similar spending habits. I live like a student on a daily basis which doesn’t feel like a hardship – I just don’t take joy from stuff. Travel and charitable giving are probably a $30K+ line item for me each year, but it’s in my budget and where I get the most bang for my buck so to speak. Everyone has different values / gets different joy from spending – that’s cool! As long as you’re not going into debt, spend however you like.
It’s easy to say you don’t take joy from stuff when you have a spouse who buys all the dog food and toilet paper and groceries so you don’t have to see the money going out and all the stuff coming in, ha.
@12:07 anon, I’m not sure who that was directed to, but the tone there is a bit harsh. I do all of our grocery shopping and home good stock up (reviewing the circular and meal planning does bring me joy too, in a way just going to the store without a list would make me anxious about forgetting something or creating food waste). I would imagine a dog would be a large jump in our monthly expenses (food, vets, dog walker, etc.)!
I suppose the point was, spend money how you like! If an amazing pair of shoes makes you smile and go about your day confidently, that’s awesome. Buying the plane ticket that works for my schedule and with extra leg room is far more valuable to me than a new outfit or a dinner out, but I totally understand for others that seems silly.
Speaking for myself, I think I am just not cycling through possessions that quickly.
Because of issues with my feet, I usually wear chacos to walk, and they last way longer than six months. I hate the color I currently own and am actively dreading how long I’ll have to live with it because they last so long!
I typically spend $50-$60 per bra, and I own five. I’ve only ever had one underwire poke through and it happened after two weeks of wear so I chalked it up to a defect. I replace them if they no longer fit. They last longer if hand washed and line dried, so it’s easy to cycle them separately from the rest of the wash.
I’m shocked by the folks saying they never have wires poke through. I gentle wash and hang dry, buy decent brands and have been fit—it still happens every now and then. Maybe it’s something to do with shape of chest or something (like spacing). I also think just because you’re still wearing the bra for several years doesn’t mean it’s in good shape. They all stretch over time.
Same. I wash in cold water on the gentle cycle in mesh bags and hang dry. These things just wear out. Perhaps the wire issue has something to do with body shape and whether/how it exerts pressure on the wire, but spandex doesn’t last forever either.
I think it must depend on bra style and fit. I’m a 36DDD and a lot of my bras are kind of grandma style without much stretch. But I’ve never once had a wire pop and because there’s not much stretch, they don’t really get stretched out. When I get rid of them, it’s usually just because they’ve gotten kind of grungy, or my sports bras wear out the clasps or stitching. That takes years, though, since I rotate through 5-6 regular bras and don’t ever put them in the dryer.
I’ve had a wire poke through one bra in the last 30 years. It was obviously a defect, and I returned it to the shop and recived a replacement. For reference, I’m a UK 30JJ (US 30N) so not easy on my bras. Hand wash and line dry all bras with an underwire.
This is a really interesting discussion / comparison. I do wonder if it’s some combo of shape and size, or what wears out in a bra first for different people. I think I’ve had one wire poke out in 25+ years, but one of the cups had already developed a tear (and was about to throw it out for that reason). Maybe I’m discarding bras earlier for other reasons?
Is this a typo about the bras?! I guess I average $50 on a new bra per year (although it’s more like $100 for three new bras every three years, along with the occasional sports or special strapless). I’m a DD, so not small, but also not straining the fabric and underwire.
I think the $500 was for 8-10 bras, maybe? Not per bra. But I have never heard of anyone needing to replace bras yearly and only the serious runners I know replace their sneakers yearly. I don’t think this level of churning through clothes is normal.
I’m a D cup and wash bras in delicates bags and hang to dry, but they definitely give up after a year (the straps are breaking etc.) These are high-quality bras like Natori. My b**bs are heavy!
I’m a 36DD and also buy Natori bras and have never had one give up the ghost after only a year. I get 3 years out of them easily.
Even if you’re buying nice bras, you only really need two, and on clearance, you can get them at $60-80. You just have to not care about colors.
If you sweat and/or if you care about preventing cellulitis, you need a fresh one every day.
A fresh bra every day still only requires ~2 bras if you’re wearing one while the other line dries. (I understand we may want more for various reasons! I do!)
I feel like I’m always buying clothes, and not usually in a way that feels fun. In the past month, for example: a new swimsuit that actually fits my middle-aged bod was well over $100. After literally months of procrastinating buying a new pair of black sneakers to replace old ones that hurt my feet, I spent $85 yesterday. My bras are in rough shape and need to be replaced, but I know that’s going to be a minimum of $50 per bra, and I like to have at least 3 to rotate through.
I replace my running shoes every 6-12 months because they get used many times a week! It’s not unusual for them to look fine on the upper, but the soles and padding are shot. They get downgraded to shoes I wear for errands, and finally, yard work when they’re really beat up.
I keep my daily work shoes for YEARS, however.
I buy quality items and not many of them, and it still adds up quickly! Maybe I just have a lower tolerance for what is considered worn out, I really don’t know.
I am the one who posted about clothing expenses and this is my experience too. Stuff just wears out and needs to be replaced.
I do think you can get away with buying a lot fewer clothes if you a) don’t sweat and b) don’t do much or go anywhere. I can only wear a piece of clothing that touches my skin once before it stinks and I have to wash it, and my life requires clothing of many levels of formality. My husband, on the other hand, will wear the same pair of jeans all week because he doesn’t sweat and his office is casual. For dressier occasions, he wears the same chinos everywhere from church to the opera. He also doesn’t work out. So he spends far less on clothing than I do, but it’s still not nothing.
And that’s just clothes! There are all sorts of other expenses that crop up. The nonstick skillet gets scratched and has to be replaced. Your pillows get gross and compacted and have to be replaced after several years. There’s the annual termite contract renewal and the car registration fee. We spent $1,000 at the vet this month on two relatively minor issues. You have to buy garbage bags and toilet paper and bathroom cleaner. It just never ends, and it all costs far more than it did five years ago.
11:35, I get you. My DH’s work wardrobe and casual wardrobe have a lot of overlap because he gets to dress very casually at work. I have basically two separate wardrobes with hardly any overlap. In the cold months, I can re-wear things. In the summer? Clothes are single-use, every time. I’m sweaty and gross, sorry!
My friends who are SAHMs or WFH spend a fraction on clothes compared to me. We have different lives and jobs!
I work out 3-4 times a week. DH works out twice a month. Our workout wear needs are not the same!
And that’s just clothes. I’ve decided I am not going to feel guilty about it. While I have no illusions that I’m a fashion plate, I do expect to have comfortable clothes that are in good condition.
I mean if your feet are hurting and new shoes solve that, then there’s no question. Similarly, if you dislike the worn-ness of some clothing article, then replacing them improves your everyday experience. I’m probably a mix of don’t care about clothes that much, hate shopping, like saving money, and can’t let go of favorite comfy pieces with good memories attached. I admire one of my colleagues in particular who’s outfits look so effortlessly chic, but I’m good admiring without aspiring.
I have a similar budget after housing and saving costs (excluding charity, travel and utilities – I live in a condo so those are included in my assessment).
I think it’s a combo of 1) cooking a lot (I eat out 1-2x per month and never buy lunch or coffee out), 2) public transit (no car), 3) rarely buying clothing, and if I do it’s second hand (2x running shoes per year at ~$60 a pop – I watch the brand I like and buy when on sale to keep in reserve, I think this year I’ve bought one dress secondhand for a wedding at $35, a top for $20, and two pairs of nice socks at $25 each), 4) very low cost beauty routine (2x haircuts / year, minimal makeup), and 5) very low cost hobbies (running and a sport with minimal league fees, reading library books). The older I get the fewer new things I need to buy vs. one-off replacements. I also don’t have many subscriptions.
Re: your clothing comments – I think I replace a bra a year? Would attribute to washing schedule (each bra I wear 2–3 times before washing, rotating) and care (washing bags, almost everything I hang to dry which I find keeps things from wearing out). Sports bras are pricy! I also buy a lot of these secondhand (once I know a size / style I like) – arguably being flat chested is my friend here, I don’t think I’ve ever worn out a sports bra support wise.
it just occurred to me, since a lot of the back and forth is about clothing expenses: I am one of those people who comes here not because it’s a fashion blog, but despite! I’m here for all the lovely (and sometimes blunt) advice and camaraderie. Couldn’t care any less about hand bags or whether it’s skinny or wide legged or whether skirts are still a thing. Being on the less fashionable West Coast, in an academic field where we need to remind employees that cargo shorts will only be allowed if they are not entering laboratory spaces, and having pretty much just nerds as friends and family will do that to ya!
How TF are you spending $500 annually on bras???
You do realize that over half the people in the United States live on a paycheck of less than $5k/month, right? That works out to a pre-tax salary of about $70-75k/year, which is above the median salary.
Obviously if you have to pay your rent/mortgage, utilities and childcare and try to save something for retirement on a $5k paycheck, you’re not going to be spending hundreds of dollars a month on bras and shoes.
It’s just absolutely wild the amount of privilege some people here have. Yes maybe a white collar worker earning $250k has that sort of clothing budget, but 90% of the people in the US don’t.
We spend $1200/month just on groceries for two adults. More like $1500/month when our teenager is home from college. MCOL area. We eat dinner out once a week and pack all work lunches. We shop at Walmart and Trader Joe’s.
After major bills on an average month where we aren’t booking a vacation, probably somewhere in the neighborhood of $3500 for the 2 of us (no kids). A large chunk of that is board/shoes/riding lessons for my horse (yes, it’s an expensive hobby). Next largest chunk is food, which is probably $800-1,000 for groceries and meals out combined. $250 for the maid every 3 weeks. The rest for gas, gym, and whatever other random things we buy.
Actually, probably closer to $4000 now that I look at the numbers and think about the “whatever other random things we buy” category.
I don’t keep close track, but aim to keep our credit bills under $7k a month, which is our combined paycheck after retirement contributions, automatic 529 contributions and taxes are taken out. We own our house outright, so no mortgage. I think we could pretty easily get it down around $4k by scaling back on travel and Doordash but beyond that it would be tough. I’m guessing we spend at least $4k a month on things I consider pretty much essential: food, utilities, insurance, property taxes, childcare (and ours is pretty cheap, just $50/week aftercare and maybe $2-3k total in summer camps), etc.
That’s about where we’d like to be for a couple with a kid in college. $5K is more realistic if you include a cushion for all the vet bills, home repairs, car repairs, etc. that we keep getting hit with. That doesn’t include all the college travel expenses.
Assuming you don’t count out of pocket health care costs, between $1500 and $2000 per month for two people. $600 on groceries, $100 on eating out, then stuff for the house, clothes, gas and car maintenance, food and vet bills for our pets, and fun stuff. Obviously that could spike if there was a major house repair (like a new roof), but that includes run of the mill stuff.
Just curious, how do you spend only $100 per month on eating out for two people? For two people, that’s about one dinner, one lunch, and one coffee out per person per month.
Yep, that’s basically one or two meals out. Otherwise we eat at home (or with friends and family). We’re good cooks!
I think you got it. Eating out only once-twice per month is the answer for that poster!
About $10K a month, sometimes a bit more. We’re high earning DINKs (never having kids) that make roughly equal income and love traveling. We are still saving and investing over half of our joint take-home when you include our mortgage in the tally (beyond the 401k and HSA) so don’t feel it’s an irresponsible level of discretion.
Ideally, $5K a month but often a bit more. This includes cash flowing everything; we aren’t pulling from savings for house repairs or kids activities, but include as part of our monthly budget.
That’s about $1500 to food, $500 in charitable giving, $3000 in everything else. We are a family of six outside of NYC.
I’m a little surprised by the low answers – I feel like we are pretty frugal, but $5K sounds like a lot. We cook almost all meals at home, don’t have house cleaners or lawn services, and choose the most basic rec camps and sports. But somehow things add up, and there always seem to be new one-off big expenses each month (hotel for a wedding, first communion outfit and party, new car tires, etc etc)
I don’t think people are counting all of their regular expenses in cash flow.
yeah, the OP specifically asked people to exclude a bunch of expenses that are… expensive. Like daycare.
I commented elsewhere that we’re at 10K a month. If you included our mortgage & insurance, car insurance, and utilities, that bumps us up to $14K. We don’t have kids but adding daycare to that would be another few K, right?
That must be it. But the prompt is how much do you live off aside from major bills like tuition and utilities…so if you are setting some aside for a repair fund or pulling from savings to fund these one-offs, that should count towards when you “live off” (spend/allocate to something) each month
I agree, but I don’t think people are including those big one-offs and that’s how their totals are so low.
Family of 4, about $3k per month. $1,200 to groceries, $1,800 to shopping, activities, random house things, and takeout. But we also save $2k per month in savings for holidays, house repairs, christmas presents, health insurance deductibles, and other big ticket items. We’re comfortable, but it’s tight to afford a babysitter and dinner out once a month.
Im reflecting in my wardrobe and I think shoes, generally, are a blind spot. They’re expensive, comfort is hit or miss and I feel like I underestimate their impact on my outfit. So, lay it on me. What are your daily favorite shoes for various seasons? What are your holy grails? What are you excited about for fall?
Birkenstocks Mayari, Boston and Arizonas (EVA version and leather.) Pikolinos boots have lasted for years. Blundstone and Doc Martens boots. Nike sneakers (K*llshot.) Nisolo huaraches, some Toms sandals and shoes, Madewell mesh ballet flats. Ugg Tasman slipper/slides for winter and L.L. Bean boots.
All birds tree breezers they’re ugly, yes, but also unobtrusive. I’m in a business casual office.
During fall and winter I wear a lot of block heel booties. Ankle height when underneath pants, closer to mid calf for skirts and dresses. Pointy, square, or almond toes look more polished than rounded toes. Black can be harsh with mid wash jeans so I also have olive green, navy, and oxblood. I own a pair of mid-calf off white booties and they’re surprisingly versatile. Get a pair or two with an interesting element like animal print or a textured material. I’m a fan of Franco Sarto and Sam Edelman for daily drivers, Jeffrey Campbell for statement shoes, and Blondo or Ugg brand waterproof boots for wet days.
Casual: In warm weather, I live in my Birkenstock big buckle Arizonas. I mix it up with No. 6 clog sandals or espadrilles with dresses. When it’s too cold for sandals, I like fashion sneakers (currently wearing P448s and Golas) or Frye boots.
Work: Marc Fisher Zala block-heel pumps or Aquatalia boots. I would love to have some pointed-toe flats, but no one makes them in narrow widths that don’t fall off my heels.
Dress: Stuart Weitzman minimalist two-strap block heel sandals. I own them in several colors, plus black and silver beaded pairs for evening. I don’t wear stiletto heels anymore because they inevitably get trashed on bricks or cobblestones.
Has anyone spent significant time in and around Millbrook or Rhinebeck NY? Thoughts on the general area as a location for a second home?
Lovely. Rhinebeck is one of my fave upstate towns
Thanks – one thing I’m wondering is whether it’s a true 4-season area. Have you visited in the fall/winter?
FWIW, the people I know who have second homes in Millbrook go there primarily in the summer, and less so (but not never) in the winter. I do think fall is still quite lovely in that area. These are all friends who have kids in school though, so it could be different for people without kids (or with younger or older kids).
Thank you. Hope you don’t mind a few more questions, because your friends sound like they’re in the same stage of life as us. We have two kids, 4 and 6, and we live 2.5-3 hour drive away from Millbrook (we’re not in New York). Do your friends stay for longer chunks of time when they go, or do they go for long weekends mostly? Do they put their kids in summer camps in Millbrook/surroundings? We’re sort of figuring out this second home thing and how it works, as neither of us grew up with a second home.
Thanks!
Do you like to ski? Lots of mountains in the Catskills with nice skiing. (Nice for the east coast, that is!) And the foliage is beautiful in the fall so I bet there’s a decent scene that time of year.
I have lots of relatives over the bridge in Kingston, which has sort of been working-class and downtrodden for decades, and we all have lots of laughs at the idea that Rhinebeck/Kingston is the trendy hot spot these days!
Oh that’s interesting! We didn’t check out Kingston when we went to tour the area, but it’s on our list. Is it very different from Rhinebeck?
My husband loves skiing and we’d like our kids to learn, so being near some ski mountains (even if not the same quality as out west) would be nice.
I have not spent a significant time in either city, but have been to both. They are both very nice Hudson Valley towns, and both are also quite popular second home locations for NYC residents.
This is such a champagne problem. Has anyone had a house cleaner who’s consistently done a great job and if so, is there any thing in particular you’ve asked for/done to make it so?
Yes, word of mouth! Also specifically talking about having one more time-intensive thing per clean – sometimes that is dusting the china cabinet shelves (i.e., removing All the Things), sometimes a thorough mop of our basement (semi-finished but the unfinished part is home to laundry), sometimes using the stepladder to dust off our ceiling fan blades, etc.
Damn I wish. I haven’t had one since 2019. Het team kept breaking things and then trying to hide the evidence. When they broke my stove that was the end.
Truly. Sometimes you just have to do the in-depth things yourself to get it done right and rely on outsiders for the surface cleans.
The house cleaner who did the best job was literally 3x the price of the other one, so what I do is get the “good” house cleaner to do a deep clean once a year, and otherwise I just live with the half-a**ery the rest of the year.
Went through three bad ones before we found a good one and paid whatever she asked for.
I’m looking for thick cotton leggings with flat felled seams. Pact and Maggie’s Organics both used to be okay, but the quality is going down hill. Money is no object, I want thicccc and nice cotton. Pockets is a bonus but negotiable.
Flatlock*
Any great ideas for a last-minute anniversary celebration this weekend? We usually go out for a nice dinner, but we both have noticed that the enjoyment we get from a single dining experience is often not proportionate to the price these days.
How about a wine tasting at a winery with nice views and a cheese platter?
If you can find a place that has a little live music, we usually order that to the full restaurant experience. We like to sit in the lounge and listen to a jazz soloist or trio and just have a cocktail and bar bites.
See if you can get last minute tickets to the theater, and go out for drinks/dessert afterwards?
I’d make it a twofer. Dinner out, consider a new place that you haven’t been to before. I tend to gravitate to the well known haunts but a novel experience is more special. Followed by going somewhere with a view and chilling with a cold or hot beverage or some ice cream, while looking at the vista and talking.
Go to google flights and see where you can get for a 1 night extremely last minute bargain?
If you do not have babysitter considerations, what about booking an overnight at a nice, local-ish hotel? Say, somewhere within 1-2 hours of your city?
Does anyone have Cigna health insurance? I heard it’s crappy, and my husband just started a job that uses Cigna, so we’re stuck (and I’m self-employed, so I can’t get insurance through an employer). Any feedback?
We had it for a while and I didn’t find it any worse than BCBS except that the network was smaller.