Coffee Break: Annalise Mule
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I know that mules aren't for everybody, but f looks so sleek.
I love the dark “cherry garnet” color, as well as the Mary Jane strap. (I feel like Mary Jane straps almost always look great with mules, whereas with flats and regular pumps it's a 50/50 chance it will stray too close to “Orphan Annie shoes.”)
The mules also come in black and beige; they're available in sizes 5-11 for $140. If you like the color but prefer suede, do note that two of Cole Haan's offerings in the Anniversary Sale are a cherry garnet suede.
Sales of note for 6/30/25:
- Nordstrom – 2,700+ new markdowns for women — and the Anniversary Sale preview has started!
- Ann Taylor – 40% off your purchase, including new arrivals + summer steals $39+
- Athleta – Semi-Annual Sale: up to 70% off
- Banana Republic Factory – July Fourth Event, 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – Sale up to 60% off
- Eloquii – $19+ select styles + extra 50% off all sale
- J.Crew – End of season sale, extra 60% off sale styles + up to 40% off select cashmere
- J.Crew Factory – All-Star Sale, 40-70% off entire site and storewide and extra 60% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Sitewide Sale, save 25% with code — 48 hours only! Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off seasonal faves, plus new penny loafers and slingbacks
- Spanx – Free shipping on everything
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, includes all markdowns (ends 7/3)
Ankle twisty pick today. I’m sure I’d fall off these in a hot minute.
What is up with the double buckle?
I fell down off mules in the middle of a courtroom once, all the way to the floor. I had gone to turn around, and my shoe soles stuck to the carpet while my body continued to turn. Never have I ever worn mules to work again.
I only wear mules in the summer when I’ve got bare legs (and slightly sweaty feet).
These styles look sleek in the product picture, but on my actual foot they look awkward and choppy. Give me the same color and toe shape with a d’Orsay back, and I’m all for it!
Anyone with a favorite wide brim summer hat? Looking for huge brim. Cute / stylish a plus.
If possible, hypoallergenic / ?natural fibers.
Coolibar Aubrey. I have no idea if it’s cute or fashionable. I go for practical.
I just pick up a traditional straw sun hat I’m vacation shops, like the kind with a round top and black ribbon and floppy brim for this. If you’re anywhere close to a vacation town, they’re everywhere.
I second this – check any local touristy boutiques, gift stores, souvenir shops, etc. My local zoo gift shop usually has something suitable.
I love TJMaxx/Marshalls for straw hats at this time of year. I got a Banana Boat one a couple years ago that I really like, but there’s usually a good variety of options.
Sunshine tienda
Has anyone had a very troubled teen kid and managed to juggle them, various appointments for them, and a job without losing it? Or had that in your family growing up? It’s been 3 years of feeling like I’m in quicksand. No one understands. I can’t even talk about it (and don’t want my kid stigmatized on a go-forward basis). Kid is also a very impulsive teen and could easily do something with permanent negative consequences one day without thinking through how bad some consequences are. Thinking about letting other kid go to away or to a boarding school just to have a normal high school experience.
I know this adds one more appointment, but I’ve found therapy for myself really helpful in dealing with difficult family pressures, including caring for my dying mom and understanding my young adult dd’s mental health issues.
Hmmm, I might seriously consider sending the troubled one to boarding school if they qualify. A lot of my friends’ kids go and the schools are pretty strict. Maybe your teen would be more likely to listen to a different source of authority?
You’d send a kid who is impulsive and doesn’t think through permanent negative consequences away to boarding school?
I remember in college hearing so many stories from the boarding school graduates.
Better to send the troubled one to a very strict boarding school, like military school, than to send the normal one to a prep school where they will be exposed to all sorts of things.
Yes, actually, I would. It works wonders for the profile described from what I’ve seen. It’s obviously kid dependent but something I’d very seriously consider. Changing the “who’s in charge” dynamic and also forcing the kid to survive on their own can work wonders.
I’m glad it helps! I remember reading something about how medieval nobility sent their sons off to be raised by their maternal uncles because their own parents were considered a little too close to really raise them the way they needed to be raised.
I would look into boarding school for the troubled one. The right school would benefit the troubled child as well as the sibling and parents whose lives the troubled child is ruining. These kids typically won’t listen to their parents. A neutral adult authority figure will make much more headway, especially in a highly structured environment.
I was not a “troubled teen” but had a troubled parent, and I used to dream of being sent away to boarding school to escape my horrific home environment.
Same. Boarding school was my escapist fantasy.
OP here. It’s mixed in with some self-harm and mutilation concerns, so troubled teen is sadly not a candidate for anything but the occasional locked ward. Body dysmorphia. Anxiety. Fear of being an adult. Fear of an adult body. It’s a horrible mess that doesn’t seem to be fixable. And teen is seemingly fine 99% of the time and about twice a year just crashes (not literally). Teen + hormones + adhd would be not easy without this complexity but some days I will get a string of weird texts and just pray that the worst isn’t happening.
This is so dumb when you have no idea what the issues are.
I can relate after just a few weeks of taking care of a mentally and physically ill adult family member. (Not saying your kid has mental illness, just see parallels between the situations )
so this was my mom to a degree with my younger sister, but my sister was in elementary school when she had her first set of issues. i remember being called into someone’s office multiple times to be told that my mom had come early to get my sister so someone else would give me a ride home. there was also the time years later i was prom dress shopping with my mom and a friend and my sister kept calling my mom and we ran into our pediatrician at the mall and my mom burst into tears. now that i’m a parent too i have so much sympathy for her…and i did then too, but i also had a lot of resentment and mixed feelings about my sister bc i would’ve liked to be the focus for a few hours. but i digress, my mom worked, but not a “big” job, though she juggled ALL kids appointments bc my dad couldn’t. i know it was a lot of trial and error in terms of therapists, medications, etc. for my sister. also involved therapy for my mom. even having one or two friends you can talk to (especially if they aren’t local) is helpful. this is the stuff no one talks about as super challenging as a working parent – not the daycare illnesses (which are hard in their own way) – but the mental and physical toll of managing older kid issues, which can involving driving to and from many appointments, making g-d knows how many phone calls, being available to receive phone calls, emails, etc. etc. Please also get therapy for kid #2 and if you can, carve out some time for kid #2. also- this is the time to lower your standards for everything else/let it slide. it is so so hard. so many hugs. there are likely more people who understand than you think, but no one talks about it
It depends on why the kid is a troubled teen, but there are support groups that might help — NAMI has a family chapter for family members of the mentally ill, and pretty much every autism mom would get it, including the concern of raising a glass child.
Is your kid in any sort of group therapy or activities for their behavior? If so other parents in the group might get it.
I’m sorry — it isn’t easy.
So my BFF since childhood was sent off to boarding school because his brother was a hot mess and it doesn’t seem to be working out so well. Hot mess still lives at home at 30, and my BFF only has familial relationships out of obligation.
Maybe that was the best possible outcome instead of two hot messes.
It was not the best outcome.
Hi, I’m your other kid. If they’re okay with it, please let them do boarding school.
Nothing helped my brother, including boarding school, militarily boarding school, and a “boarding school” that made news and is now closed. It was an awful choice to send him away, and it would’ve been amazing for me to get space instead and him to get our mom’s full focus.
Obviously, every family is different and I can’t say for sure that would’ve been better, but I believe it.
Are you saying to send the “other kid” to boarding school so they can live in peace? You wouldn’t have felt like your parents were dumping you so they could focus on problem child?
Probably hugely dependent on the individual child.
I was dumped to focus on the other child, but I would’ve felt like I had space to move around and have needs at a boarding school. As it was, I felt compelled to make no waves and take no resources, emotional or otherwise, because his needs were central even when he was away.
I’m not there yet but I have 3 kids and we are talking about sending one to boarding school because she is both so disruptive at home AND thrives with independence. She did 4 weeks of sleepaway camp last year and is doing a full summer this year. She is young for her grade so we didn’t want to do junior high boarding but are looking into programs that start in 8th (she’s a rising 6th). She’s highly gifted, adhd, and a general emotional trainwreck that sucks the life out our house when she’s in a bad mood. She also loves fiercely. We don’t want her siblings to suffer and we want her in an environment she can thrive.
FWIW, DH and I both work very flexible jobs. I don’t know how we’d do it otherwise.
No advice but sending hugs – this sounds so difficult, and I am sure there are no easy answers.
The way things turned out, I was headed to college around the time things got really rough at home. I have some guilt about it, but it definitely helped me to be elsewhere.
I worked for a partner at a law firm who had a very troubled teen (multiple suicide attempts and hospitalizations). The other kid was already in college. His wife had been SAH to take care of her aging parents and stayed SAH to care for teenage daughter.
I strongly suggest having someone else you work with stay in the loop about your work, so they can pick it up if you need to deal with your daughter. The partner I worked for gatekept a lot of information/deadlines, so when he was out, stuff just got missed. Our clients knew what was going on and understood to some extent, but after he had several missed hearings, etc., they got impatient and would have preferred he just have someone else cover.
If you’re on vacation and want to protect your face from the sun, what hat do you wear? I’ve always worn a baseball cap because it’s easy, packable, can go on my purse if I’m not wearing it, is a built-in ponytail holder, etc. But I feel like that kind of screams I’m an American! right now. Are there other options that keep the sun off your face, allow good peripheral vision, and don’t fly off with a gust of wind? I don’t mean at the beach or something but like walking around a city on a sunny day, I totally freckle no matter how much sunscreen I have on so I like a hat also.
A little pricey, but I like these hats. I have two of them.
https://www.solbari.com/
Which style?
https://www.solbari.com/products/holiday-sun-hat?variant=39355627733103
https://www.solbari.com/products/wide-brim-beach-hat-upf50?variant=41095890829423
I’m also a person who freckles no matter how much sunscreen I apply. I gave up on baseball caps long ago. They don’t really shade your face except your forehead. When I’ll be spending significant time outside and the UV index is above about 3 or 4, I wear a wind-brimmed hat, even if it looks ridiculous.
*wide-brimmed
same. wide brimmed straw vacation hat with a ribbon, like the one described above.
A non-logo baseball hat. I’m obviously American the second I speak so I don’t worry about things like this when I travel. I do dress properly for dinners and events but during the day? Comfort over style.
I saw a chic woman wearing a nice bucket hat that covered her face, was fitted in the back, and didn’t look like she was going fishing — but I haven’t found anything similar online. Sort of a cross between a bucket and a cloche.
ooh… that sounds nice.
I bet you there are more Yankees baseball hats worn by non-Americans than Americans.
I’m going on safari soon. Any packing tips? I’ve purchased sun shirts, leggings, joggers, a fleece jacket, gloves and an earband in muted greens, beige and browns, and I already owned a large tan sun hat. Rain is apparently extremely rare this time of year where I’m going. It will be in the high 30s or low 40s on the morning game drives and high 60s or low 70s in the mid-afternoon, so a huge temperature range.
Get loose long pants. Uniqlo has some good ones. You won’t always want to wear leggings but do need to be covered up bc of dust, bugs etc
That’s actually a really comfortable temp range. There’s not a vacation I go on where I don’t pack a chambray shirt- it doubles as a light jacket and stands on its own. Same with white. I’d also probably look up some vintage BR and Ralph Lauren campaigns and accessorize accordingly. But I’m extra like that.
Go to the blog Design Darling for that – she wrote up their honeymoon safari and it looks like a Ralph Lauren ad.
It’s been a couple of decades since I went on safari but I remember it being very windy at times. I was happy to have a rain jacket/windbreaker with a hood.
Assuming you’ve got luggage size restrictions (when I went, it was duffle bags/35 pounds I think) and are going to have to have laundry done, quick dry things as they will be line dried. Otherwise, that sounds good. Safari was actually one of the easiest trips I’ve packed before because the temperatures, while a wide range, leant themselves to easy layering, and the defined activities meant I didn’t need a wide range of attire.
No blue or black–it attracts tsetse flies.
The sunrise rides were much colder than I anticipated. I would add a goretex type jacket and pants you can layer on top of leggings. Have fun! It was one of my favourite trips!
I actually just got back from a safari- we rode in an open sided jeep, so it was very windy. It wasn’t necessarily cold when we weren’t driving. Also if you have a hat, make sure it can sit securely on your head. (Our guides provided theses lovely fleece lined ponchos for the mornings, and if they had sold them I would have bought one, I loved mine so much.
Also not sartorial, but don’t forget binoculars!
Casual, moderately hip/upscale pizza place in the midwest. Hostess or food runner in a belly button baring crop top. Yay or nay? Dress code doesn’t address it.
Who cares? Is this your pizza shop that you own?
It’s not a food safety hazard if she’s not involved with prep. Leave it be unless she moves into a food handling role.
Who cares?
The hostesses, runners, and waitstaff at all of our local places in the SEUS have bare midriffs.
Probably wouldn’t even notice, speaking as a diner.
Would not care either way in the slightest.
Who cares
Yes to both of these — get some light, loose pants (linen?) and a chambray shirt will serve you well.
Oops — meant to reply to the safari thread. Obviously, who gives a crap about a midriff, and the Midwestern location has nothing to do with anything.
I’ve seen it before, think it’s super tacky tho.
Truthfully, I think it’s sort of trashy and wouldn’t like it an upscale place but fine for a normal pizza shop. But that’s really up to the owners and how they do or don’t want the vibe of the place.
I think it’s gross. I don’t want to see excess skin in a food establishment. But I also find crop tops tacky.
Is this your kid? Seems fine to me, but if she gets in trouble for it, it’s not really a big deal.
Yes, my kid. She double checked the written dress code when I asked her if her shirt was okay for work the other day, and it doesn’t seem to have been an issue. Just wondering if I should be secretly worrying that it’ll reflect badly on her – guess I should myob!
It’s really tacky but lots of people do it
It is tacky. But this is the age for learning norms.
If it wasn’t an issue, then clearly it was fine. If she gets told it was a problem by someone at work, then she can adjust for the future. This internet stranger takes this worry off your plate.
ty :)
Probably a good time to teach her the difference between what is allowed and what is a good idea.
I was just in Montreal and saw these tops all over the place, including in some pretty nice small plate restaurants and some Michelin starred places. No place truly formal, but anything else.
When you find a date for an all-day active excursion that works for three different work calendars, the weather, childcare, and the season and go to book, but then discover your period is due that day 😅 I refuse to be on my period for yet another all-day trip on the water!
Skip it! Norethedrine. Wisp will Rx it online
there are also period bikini bottoms
Do you want to deal with washing those in a hotel room?
I wouldn’t care.
No hotels in the wilderness.
I discovered I will be having my period for 3 different trips this summer – one multiday bike, one canoe camping, and one week split between beach and canoe camping. I really hit the lottery.
I think I had my period on every single canoe camping trip of my life – and most of the hiking ones as well – until I got an IUD! You just learn to roll with it.
Oh god – that’s worse than me getting mine for two multi day whitewater trips in a row.
I dated long-distance for a year and a half, and managed to have my period every single time we met for 10 dates straight.
This is part of the reason I have stayed on birth control. I love being able to map out my period and make sure I won’t have it on vacation.
We need a non-hormonal option for those women who can’t take hormonal BC!
Is there anything that can stop a period aside from hormones?
Ablation worked for me, but that’s a procedure and only for those who don’t want to ever get pregnant again. It’s not birth control, but it would be a bad pregnancy if you did get pregnant. I had it done at the same time as my tubal, but my doc said it was a office procedure if not done with surgery.
Is it really a big deal to have your period when in proximity to the outdoors? Maybe I’m just extremely lucky but this wouldn’t even cross my mind. I might address it for a romantic vacation, but otherwise . . . I don’t know..May it’s cuz I was on the swim.team.or maybe I don’t have bad hormonal symptoms and virtually everyone else does.
It is if you’re on a boat with no bathroom and no privacy. Can you manage it? Sure, I’ve done it before. Did it make the day less fun? 100%.
I think it’s partly the latter.
Something like 10% of American women have endometriosis. About 10% of American women have PCOS, and they aren’t all the same people as the ones with endometriosis. As many as 30% eventually develop symptomatic fibroids. 10% develop hypothyroidism during reproductive years. Etc.
So it’s not “virtually everyone,” but relevant pathology is quite common.
Oh, you really do not want to know how big a deal it can be. Trust and believe, and be grateful that I am sparing you the details.
What’s a good purse strap situation for 2025? Shoulder handle/s? Ones that can loop over your arm? I like a cross body for the weekend but they always seem too sporty for work.
I feel like I’ve seen a lot of people updating crossbody purses by adding short, really chunky resin straps. Look at Clare V but Amazon has them also.
I was today years old when I learned about this… thank you!
How are you dressed for work, and what kind of office are you going to?
Running out to grab lunch? Wristlet clutch that fits in your tote or backpack.
I bought a lot of dresses recently and everything feels very poufy below the waist. I don’t want things fitted (and I definitely want pockets!) but for casual clothes are poufy looks still in? Does the poofiness go down after you wear the dress a few times? Like the Somerset mini dress just feels like I need a tulle skirt under it.
I was hoping this one would be a nice gauzy/linen thing but it’s fully lined, but it’s cute in person — but very poufy. can a nearly-50 something wear this to, like, a museum? a dinner date?
https://bananarepublicfactory.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=822483001&vid=1&searchText=teal#pdp-page-content
this is another one, but i can’t decide if the organza fabric (it feels kind of dressy and sheer) is appropriate for the style of the dress. https://bananarepublicfactory.gapfactory.com/browse/product.do?pid=586700021
The first one doesn’t look poofy, at least in the photos online. (Maybe you’re just used to office sheath dresses?) I’m in my 60s and would wear it (if the style wouldn’t make look like I’m 90% b**bs, which it would). It would be a very nice museum/dinner date dress. And I think sheer fabrics are in, not weird; I like the second one a lot.
I don’t think your age matters as much as what suits your personality, body shape, general style, and height. The first dress you linked to would look ridiculous on me, not because of my age, but because it wouldn’t suit my body. The second dress would be fine for me, if it were 2 or more feet longer.
That somerset mini dress with a deep ruffle does read young to me. Unless, of course, you’re like one of my 60something friends, who has the personality and body shape to wear that and look great in it.
(I’m not sure it matters whether gathered skirts are still in. You aren’t drawn to them, so just pass them by.)
Well I love this dress so thanks for finding it.
I don’t think its puffy but I do think a little more flare is in style. You can totally wear that to a museum or dinner date.
I would hardly call that poufy.