Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Double-Breasted Check Blazer
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I don’t really think of houndstooth as being a “summer” pattern, but this neutral-colored version from Reiss is making me think again. This double-breasted blazer would look gorgeous layered over a white blouse and white trousers for a summer-y business casual look and would look equally beautiful with burgundy and forest green in the fall.
As an added bonus, it’s also available in petite sizes, which is becoming harder and harder to find these days.
The blazer is $515 at Reiss and comes in sizes 0P-12P and 0-14.
Sales of note for 7/8/25:
- Nordstrom – The Anniversary Sale has started for all cardholders — stay tuned for our roundup!
- Amazon Prime Day! I just finished our full roundup — check out deals on hair tools from Shark and Dyson, leather jackets from All Saints, classic makeup like Black Honey, as well as deals from Lo & Sons, Rothy's, Theory (love this lady jacket), Levi's, Kate Spade (love these shoes, this tote, and lots of tech gear), Club Monaco, and Gap — full roundup here
- Ann Taylor – Semiannual sale, 30% off your purchase and extra 50% off sale styles
- Athleta – Last Chance Semi-Annual Sale – Up to 70% off + Extra 30% Off (cute gym bag!)
- Banana Republic Factory – July Fourth Event, 50-70% off everything + extra 25% off
- Boden – Final call sale, up to 60% off + extra 10%
- Eloquii – Flash sale, extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – End of season sale, up to extra 70% off sale styles with code
- J.Crew Factory – All-Star Sale, 40-70% off entire site and storewide and extra 60% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off seasonal faves, plus new penny loafers and slingbacks
- Spanx – End of season sale, get an extra 30% off sale styles
- Talbots – 40% off your entire purchase, + free shipping on $150+
Heading to Italy and Spain for the first time since 1995. Trip will include Rome and Naples. Would you all recommend a regular crossbody handbag or a “travel-safe” bag with locks/slash-proof strap? Specific recommendations welcome and appreciated!
I just carry my crossbody bag towards the front of my body in crowded areas/when travelling. Bagallini has some nice crossbodies and I believe a “travel safe” one if you want to take a look.
is it totally dorky that I *always* carry my crossbody in front of my body?
Not at all
Nope
I have this Baggallini and although it’s not going to win any fashion awards, I love all the pockets and it’s big enough for a water bottle and a day’s worth of small souvenir shopping: https://www.baggallini.com/everywhere-bagg-with-rfid/EWY571-BGR-B0018-NS.html?
No special bag needed. Just use common sense. Use a cross body. Keep it zipped and under your arm. Dont walk around with your phone out or leave it out on the table during meals. Dont eat while walking. Dont be distracted by small children swarming around you. Do not step on the artwork laid on the ground to trick you into damaging it and paying for it. Do not accept bracelets or anything from anyone. If at night , do not be distracted by laser pointers or little dolls that launch into the sky and light up – this was very big at the Spanish Steps. Also personal observation, the people I was with who were wearing lululemon and victoria secret athleisure outfits were bothered much more thanI was in my sun dresses and linen trousers. White sneakers are fine.
This is all good advice. Wearing a special slash proof purse screams tourist, which ironically makes you more of a target. I’ll add that you should figure out your route before you start walking. Looking at a paper map or clearly navigating from your phone will draw attention to yourself.
What I do when traveling is put the direction into Apple Maps, so I can then put AirPods in and listen to the directions that way. My phone is away, I know where I’m going, and nobody knows if I’m listening to music or a podcast or what.
But people see your white headphones and know you have pricey headphones and a pricey iPhone and are likely $ and don’t hear the environmental noise well.
I have just used my regular crossbody all over Europe, including those two. Use your normal city street smarts and you’re fine. Also, you really don’t need to carry much cash. Take pictures of your passports and cards just in case.
I got a Travelon Anti-theft Boho square crossbody bag that I used while traveling in Asia and Mexico. Not sure it was needed for either trip, but it made me feel secure and I liked the style.
I have a PacSafe travel crossbody that I now use as my daily work purse I like it so much. Lightweight, good pockets. It’s the Pacsafe Cruise Anti-Theft All Day Crossbody. I get compliments on it.
When I travel and frankly, just walk around my major US city, I do not keep everything in one place. I have my phone in a zipped pocket in front of me, anything important in a couple of places. When I travel, I keep my passport very close to me on a special travel type bag but not bundled with my phone and everything else critical. Yes, it’s about being smart but also you’re more of a target when you have suitcases etc with you. I also mitigate risk by hiring a car to pick me up at the airport and do not hassle with public t*a*sportion or taxis.
Another perspective. My relative, now long passed, was permanently disabled in Italy. Someone came by on a motorbike, tried to slash and grab her bag. The straps did not completely sever, and she was dragged for a couple of blocks when she couldn’t get free of her bag.
I travel Europe with a security belt under my shirt/jacket holding important stuff. All other bags can get stolen. I would never buy a bag with a “slash-proof” strap because my body is more important.
Woah, thank you for sharing this and so sorry your relative had to endure this.
This is excellent advice. There’s too much emphasis on “it’s all fine, just pay attention” and that doesn’t always work.
That is terrifying.
I don’t see under-clothing security belts on offer near me. If there is one you recommend, could you post a link or description or brand?
Sure, here is one for $10 similar to mine: https://a.co/d/cSItHlA
I searched for “security belt bag” and there are many options at different price points.
Same. I keep my passport and a credit card in an inside coat pocket (but I primarily travel during the cold months.)
I have travelled to Europe once or twice a year every year since the restrictions lifted, including Italy and Spain. In my opinion a special bag is completely unnecessary. Do not put anything in your pockets that you do not want to have stolen and either carry a zippered bag under your arm or a cross-body and keep it zipped and in front of you, especially in public transportation or anywhere with crowds. Do not put it down on the ground, your table or the back of your chair. Never leave it unzipped. I did use a small running belt under my clothes (I find those more comfortable than “money belts”) for my passport or large amounts of cash on the few occasions I need to carry either.
You will probably need your phone for a variety of tasks so the common advice not to have it out is not really practical. Women in Europe tend to put their phones on cross-body straps . I just put a wrist strap on mine and then tethered that to my purse with the key leash. That also kept me from dropping it when I had it out to take photos. I also used my Apple Watch for navigation and a lot of other things that I would otherwise use my phone for, like metro tickets in Paris.
The goal is just not to be the easiest mark or to look like a clueless tourist. They are going to know you are a tourists – but if you look experienced and comfortable you are less likely to be approached by the scammers (I literally never encountered one until I travelled with my father, who is in his late 70s).
Have fun!!
Echoing others that a normal crossbody is fine.
I will say that if you haven’t spent much time in Europe and are a bit nervous about safety, you might want to reconsider having Naples on the itinerary. We spent a day there, it was fine, but it’s definitely grittier and less tourist-friendly than places like Rome, Florence, Amalfi, Lake Como, etc. and also just not as interesting as a lot of other places in Italy. It wouldn’t be a place I’d include on a first (or even second or third) trip to Italy.
Agreed on grittier and less tourist friendly, but can’t relate at all on not as interesting. I always feel like I’ve only scratched the surface in Naples.
Fair, it probably depends what you like. I’m not a huge city person in general.
Makes sense. I remember Siena was really beautiful for a smaller destination (and just the surrounding countryside).
Ok for starters 1995 was like 7 years ago. And no you don’t need to Fort Knox of purses
lol this is how I feel all the time
We are going to Italy in September. I find with crossbody bags, I have to open and close them to get to water and my phone. After searching for a bit, I just ordered this for my trip so my water and phone are close and I don’t have to open the big part, looking for my things. If anyone has any opinions on this, I am open to hearing them! Also, I have an expensive diamond wedding ring. Deciding whether to wear it at all. https://www.amazon.com/BUNSO-Everyday-Water-Resistant-Crossbody-Waterbottle/dp/B0D8RVSHG3/ref=asc_df_B0D8RVSHG3?mcid=c436319ae6ef36589ae5a6c74effa94d&hvocijid=2852717056155104760-B0D8RVSHG3-&hvexpln=73&tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=721245378154&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=2852717056155104760&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9011747&hvtargid=pla-2281435178058&th=1
I wouldn’t put my phone in the exterior pocket where it’s partially exposed — it’s easy for you to grab but it’s also easily for someone else to grab. My handbag has one of these pockets but I still put my phone inside the interior for travel.
I don’t travel with my wedding rings; I have a “fake” wedding band for this purpose. I don’t worry about it getting stolen so much as I do about me just forgetting it somewhere. But I also don’t wear my rings for a lot of activities in my daily life, so it’s not as engrained in my brain to put it on every morning.
I was just in Rome and Naples, and I used a lulu fanny pack. It was fine.
Seems like something that should be easy to find but now that I am looking they are nowhere to be seen…
Anyone have a favorite tray with handles? I want two, one larger size (to hold a full place setting), and a smaller one, also with handles, perhaps roughly 8″ by 10″ sized. They don’t need to match, I just prefer something that isn’t $$. Not interested in clear acrylic; I want something with a little personality. Thanks!
Pottery Barn
Try Etsy
Check Crate and Barrel
World Market
you can have acrylyc and personality – see society 6
https://society6.com/a/products/floral-bloom-abstract-painting_acrylic-tray
(millions? of designs)
This is a case for vintage antique shopping.
This. There’s so much out there. Even if it’s just Etsy.
Etsy is still selling merch from the Florida concentation camp.
You do realize that Etsy is not one seller right? Way to harm a bunch of small businesses with this take.
And take a history lesson on what concentration camps were. I understand your intent but that type of characterization really is not helpful
Ebay!
How do you wear jackets like this? Button a button? Let it flap?
I always have this problem also. I think you have to button it.
Agree visually for standing but most of my day is sitting and it just looks like a lot of loose fabric at lunch or on a zoom.
I think if you don’t have defined hips you can wear it unbuttoned, letting it flap. I do have defined hips, so cannot.
For double breasted, you have to keep it buttoned or it looks off.
For those of you in your 40s/50s/60s: other than retirement, what are you looking forward to in your career? I am utterly discouraged that I’m going to be doing this for another 15-20 years. I’ve advanced as high as I want to go (and frankly, I find management a drag and would love to downshift at some point). Other than needing money, how are you finding purpose in your work? I need something to look forward to that isn’t related to advancement.
Get some more hobbies or stuff to do that isn’t work. You’ve leveled up. Enjoy it.
I have plenty of stuff going on outside of work. But I’d like to not hate the 40+ hours a week I spend in the office!
Are there colleges near you where you could audit or take a class that would let you explore other career fields? I am taking a class and while it is hard and a PITA, it so energizing personally that even if I never change fields, I am a renewed person for it.
$800 at a community college; I spent more for a single credit at the school I got my masters’ at; cheaper per hour than therapy.
Can you reframe at all? This job allows you to live comfortably? It’s investing in a comfortable retirement? Hate is a strong word and that’s a long time to hate such a big part of your life. Otherwise, investigate a career change—either a new job, new career, etc. What if the new career pays less? Could you afford to do it?
I could have written this — which means I have no advice, but I’m grateful to you for voicing something I’m also feeling. Hoping there are some useful responses.
100% there with you. I’ve recently gotten into a hobby that has really rejuvenated me, but I wish it made money.
OP here, and yes. I have a hobby that I love and brings in a tiny amount of side-hustle money, but it is nothing that I can scale up enough to turn into a real job.
I look for projects that interest me. If you’re not finding that internally, than get involved with the association that serves your industry and attend events, volunteer with their events, write articles, join panels. I’ve developed a lot of friendships through these things while also expanding my professional presence. Mentoring others (inside your job or through other means) can also be fulfilling (my best friend works with young moms).
Same position, hit the highest ranks and I no longer look at work as something where I need to hit another level. I’m satisfied by being the person people seek advice from, mentoring the next generation, investing in relationships and friendships that make each day satisfying. I also spend my time outside of work focused on things I enjoy. We entertain a lot and travel, I do weekend trips with girlfriends. I’m delighted to be past the point in life where I was obsessed with my career.
Totally agree with this, except I never hit the highest ranks. But I am still totally fine with where I am.
Look for ways to help others. Depending on your job, this can be through mentoring, professional service, outreach, advocacy, or pro bono work. And obviously also do things outside of work.
It’s not for everyone but my career is mission-driven (nonprofits). It’s important to me that I make a difference.
Yup. I’m a fed (for now…) and the mission is everything. I work with great people who are supportive because we’re all there for the mission.
Could you look for jobs in your wheelhouse at mission based orgs ?
Age 60 here. I went through this as well. My job/career is fine, I like it, but it is not something I am “passionate” about. I learned from an older respected friend that it is fine for work to be something that just pays the bills and that my focus needs to be on weekends, vacations, time outside of work. Planning these things and looking forward to doing things I enjoy outside of work has to be my focus. I don’t think there really is any other way to deal with this.
If you really have 15-20 years to go, I’d look around for something new. I switched gears in my late 40s and moved into a whole new career area, which carried me through to retirement. The last 10 years of so, I frankly got pretty bored with it and had topped out, so I concentrated on volunteer work and travel and my personal life and that got me through. But I feel like much more time than that is too long to just tread water — is there a non-management position you can transition to?
Same position. I’ve noticed that a lot of my peers say they find meaning in coaching and mentoring younger colleagues. I do enjoy my relationships with coworkers. I had a pretty awful job for several years but was good friends/trauma bonded with my peers and that was a light. Otherwise I lean into my hobbies and family. Work is just what pays the bills.
Just coming here to say this – I’m done next year, but in the past 5 to 10 have really focused on mentoring and coaching newer employees in a way that I have found very rewarding. Also – keep your skills fresh and relevant. With 15 to 20 years to go, you are in the zone where a layoff could still happen, and at a time and age (unfortunately) when finding work can be hard. Keep up with professional conferences, learning opportunities inside or outside your organization; become the guru on something new, etc. I enjoy my whole life better when I am enjoying work and not using my personal time as a refuge, but you do to have find a way to do that.
Life is too short to have a job you hate. Can you switch gears to something you like more? Or something that better aligns with your interests or values?
I work in NGOs, in something with a great purpose, which is super fulfilling to me. I also have a strong interest in the subject area. I truly love most days.
I don’t know your field, but a reminder that non profits and NGOs and education and healthcare and virtually anything you’re professionally interested in have so many different types of jobs. I think people get focused on the programmatic work but we all have accountants and GCs and HR and policy specialists and training specialists abd data scientists and project managers and marketing people and virtually everything else the corporate world has. Some orgs are gonna have architects and engineers while others have healthcare clinicians and others have environmental experts.
You might also take a look at recurring digital expenses like apps and streaming services. If you aren’t paying attention and have multiple household members they can add up.
I think I need to go on a budget due to some changed circumstances. I’ve been doing the math and in order to keep maxing out 401k, Roth IRA, 529s, and HSA (while paying mortgage, utilities, and premium), we have about $3500 a month leftover. Family of 4 (2 preteen boys), Midwestern MCOL area. And a dog. Our cc bills are regularly around $10k. but $3500 is doable, right? basically it all goes to food?
It’s doable for me, but I’ve never made more than $70k in my life. You sound accustomed to a much higher standard of living. Most people arent able to max out their tax deferred savings, and if you dont have a solid emergency fund in place already, you cant either. Take a hard look at wants versus needs.
+1 This is a really good point. OP you didn’t mention if you have an emergency fund. If not i would prioritize that over tax deferred savings ( except the minimum required to get a match from employer). As an attorney whose practice area focuses on consumer debt i can tell you the biggest thing that keeps people in debt is lack of a cushion/ emergency fund.
So glad to find someone else on here that doesn’t make high six figures! I just started making 69k at my new job, it’s the most I’ve ever made, I feel rich lol.
I make $59k.
Does your health savings account need to be so high? I thought the idea on that was to fund to a certain level for a rainy day versus continuing to grow (like a retirement account).
In terms of tax-advantaged savings I’d be more inclined to prioritize HSA and Roth because we can get at that sooner if we need to, whereas the 401Ks aren’t accessible until 59. (I’m 51.)
Yeah but it’s leaving you with not enough money to cover daily life.
Right but if we put the money in (we already maxed this year) then we can take out if we really need to cover stuff. i think we could even use it for premiums. I’ve also been keeping track of previous expenses we can use it for. (AFAIK you can use the HSA at any time, it isn’t limited to within 6 months after you incur the expense or whatever.)
The HSA is another way to save pretax funds for retirement, and it can be invested once you hit a dollar threshold in the account. If you can afford to do so, it’s usually a good idea to max this out every year.
So you have $3500 per month left after paying the items listed, but you are spending $10k per month? need to know a- what are you spending it on and b- how are you paying for it ( if you are paying off the cc every month)? I absolutely believe you can get healthy groceries for 4 ppl for 3500 per month but presumably you also need to pay for other things you haven’t listed- gas for your car, sports/activity fee for the kids, new clothing at least for the kids who are growing, etc. that said it seems to me you can do all for that for 3500 although it may be tighter than you’re used to. the real question is what are you currently spending $6k plus on that you’re going to cut?
+1 Your first step is to get really clear on where that $10k is going.
All a budget really is, is a spending plan. It’s you making decisions about where you want to put your money (since it’s not unlimited) based on what’s most important to you.
The camp fees, sports fees, and needing to buy new clothes 2-3x year for kids are the big categories that you need to plan for. Plus the dog – flea/tick meds, bathing, food, vet visits, etc. Do you need to keep maxing out all the funds you mentioned? I’d probably take a hard look at if you’re using all the money in your HSA and if 529 plans can be cut down in favor of retirement. Funding your retirement over your kid’s college is the decision every financial planner will recommend.
It’s hard to figure out where the $6k is going because I spend kind of indiscriminately because the money’s been there. I just went to Costco, bought zero meat or alcohol, and it was $458. What did I buy? Who knows. Husband needed some new clothes, fire detector thingies were on sale 2 for 1 and I know we’ll need at least one new one soon. (I did the math for the budget *after* that trip, lol.)
Yup, paying off the cc every month but moving around a lot of money to do it. Haven’t had to sell stocks yet and I’m a ways away from that.
yeah, this aw shucks attitude right there is exactly what you need to fix. You don’t know where your money goes so figure it out. Keep receipts and sit down with them and add it up in a spreadsheet. You will not be able to cut your spending down by two thirds without facing facts, and you will be miserably anxious trying when you fly blind.
The good thing is, you know what the problem is by acknowledging “i spend indiscriminately.” Look, i’ve been there. just ended a marriage where ex made tons of money and there was always plenty so i got lazy and stopped budgeting like i used to when i was single. now that i am single again and living on my still generous but not wild salary, I have had to make adjustments. you can too! you just have to commit to your new reality. which by many people’s standards is still very very comfortable. i’m rooting for you OP. good luck!
Yeah so like. There’s actually no easy way to do this? You’re going to have to actually think about it and track your spending and figure out where your money goes. Fortunately you actually have plenty of money! But the process still requires you to actually
Like do stuff and care
Your cc may break it down and categorize it for you if you review.
I hate budgeting more than I hate going without, so my approach would probably be to quit shopping entirely, and then count up to $3500 while buying genuine necessities and see if the $3500 lasts.
Op here – this is my inclination also. Lots easier to do now that I see how limited the budget is. My income fluctuates so this is hopefully based on worst case scenarios, there may be 3-10k more per month before the 40% tax/retirement savings.
I am curious about this approach. what if you hit day 16 of the month and you’ve already spent your 3500? do you just not buy food? do you have a solid supply of canned goods or whatever to fall back on? do you just not put gas in your car and then walk everywhere? or is this more like a gradual change so you can see where the money is going without having to do the tedious work of going through cc statements and making spreadsheet etc?
So you asked about living on a budget without any intention of actually doing it.
I plan my spending. Make a list of what I need to buy, don’t shop while hungry, don’t shop to fill an emotional void.
Also split that monthly amount into smaller portions. How much do I need to spend on groceries, and on gas or other commuting expenses each week? What is left? From that, how much do I want to earmark towards kids clothing and activities, gym memberships, haircuts, etc.?
Can I cover all of those things with the money available to me? If not, where will cutting back have the least impact to my quality of life? For me, belt-tightening mode means I focus on needs first and don’t blow my funds on things like restaurants, mani-pedis, or hair color instead of groceries and back-to-school supplies.
I wouldn’t be taken by surprise by hitting 3500 on day 16 of the month if I’m tracking as I go. I always have a solid supply of food to fall back on, yes.
But if I really hit 3500 in a little over two weeks with no discretionary spending, shopping at the best value grocery store in town, cooking from ingredients, and eating simply, then I am not sure how a budget would have helped.
We have a ton of food in the pantry and freezer. So if we hit $3500 mid-month (which the goal would be to be tracking so it isn’t a surprise) then we’d go no buy except for absolute necessities.
It was asked earlier but yes we have a really healthy emergency fund, lots in stocks outside of retirement and even more inside retirement. I own my own business (in an industry where a lot of bad changes are happening) so I only pay taxes and contribute to my retirement once a year so I regularly have a lot of cash sitting around above and beyond that. Technically I could retire now I think and just live on my savings but… I don’t wanna. Plus part of this is me figuring out how much we actually need to survive, the mere fact that I have more than 25x $150k (which sounds like a reasonable yearly spending in the abstract) isn’t meaningful if we need more than that. This year we hopefully will make around $315k before taxes (me and DH). It’s just that last year was more like $470k so the adjustment is a bitch.
I do think you guys are right and digging into the expenses is going to be the first step, but it’s going to take a bit more of a personal effort to keep track of the stores where you can buy anything, like Costco.
If you could retire now, you can definitely cut back on saving – that’s a much less drastic step than going to zero income. I would try to cut back on expenses too, $10k/month does feel like a lot to me for a family of 4 in the Midwest, but I also think based on your description that you’re saving much more than is necessary and you don’t need to cut all the the way to $3,500.
Stop shopping at Costco. Ditto for Amazon, Target, etc. Buy your groceries at the most no frills grocery store in your area (Aldi is my go to.). Stop stocking up or doing any anticipatory buying. One in/one out mentality. Minimize clothes shopping and do laundry frequently. We shifted to Wal-Mart shopping for household stuff because it’s honestly an unenjoyable experience. Getting out of that store fast is my priority, so I don’t buy anything that’s not on my list.
A budget is just a plan for how you spend your money. Do you know where that 3500 needs to go? Does it cover everything? Look at some budget templates and work through the musts, then the wants. Don’t forget to include things that you need to plan for but don’t spend on every month, like insurance premiums, travel, holiday gifts, subscriptions, home repairs, etc. I like YNAB as a tracking platform because I can clearly see where my money is going, and I regularly tweak my priorities or spending. But the platform doesn’t really matter if you understand your needs and your spending.
Is your emergency savings in good shape and does that $3500 include saving up for things like your next car, hvac replacement, etc? Do you know where every penny goes now? If you have to cut some stuff, is there low hanging fruit out there like extra restaurant spending, too many subscriptions, etc?
It almost sounds like you need to drop a monthly credit card bill from 10k to 3.5k in which case you’d better be starting from a place of no spend months until you find a new rhythm.
I mean. You’re spending 10k now and want to cut to 3500? That sounds wildly unrealistic. This is why a budget isn’t just a vibe. You need to actually spend time on it.
Agree with this. Maybe you can do it, but it’s gonna take a lot of work — both figuring out the budget and sticking to it.
Agree. My family of 5 spent about 10k/month similarly indiscriminately to what you described. I started telling myself we need to cut back due to job loss, and it was easy to cut the big things like vacations and luxuries like massages and new clothes for me, but reframing from abundance to budget is really hard/impossible unless you sit down and plan.
You need to pull the last 6 months (or more if there is a lot of seasonality in your spend) and meticulously categorize each dollar that you spent.
Once you know how you are currently spending your money and then you can make a plan for how to achieve your new budget.
But yeah, that seems like a reasonable budget. We are a family of 5 in a HCOL area and typically spend $4k a month with regular eating out. Would not take much scaling back to get to $3500.
Plenty of people live relatively comfortably on $3,500 disposable income a month in the non-Chicago Midwest, but it’s not a budget that allows for a lot of luxuries even in LCOL areas. Like others said, you’ll have to look at where the $10k is going and figure out what you can cut.
I would also look at whether you can temporarily scale back any of your savings. We save a ton for retirement and our kid’s college and generally think of ourselves as very fiscally responsible, but I’ve never contributed to an HSA. Our small employer contributions usually cover our yearly healthcare expenses and when they don’t, we cash flow our healthcare costs. It’s another savings vehicle and if you can save the max there (it’s like $8k I think?), that’s great, but to me it’s a lot more optional than retirement funds.
And I don’t know what “maxing” a 529 means (there’s no limit – do you mean matching to the extent of a state tax deduction?) but if your kids are preteens you may be able to downshift there. The real benefit of a 529 is growth and if your kids are headed to college in 5-7 years you’re not going to get that much growth from current contributions. So unless you feel like your college savings are way behind, this is probably the time to slow down your saving there.
Retirement would be the last thing I would scale back but depending on how temporary this is, it could be an option too.
This. I think you need to decide whether you want to be a family who has some luxuries while still saving or a family that is super frugal to save intensely. Sounds like you sort of want to be the second. In that case, write everything down and cut brutally. Personally, I’m not willing to live super frugally when I have plenty of savings (but not max out savings). Everyone is different. But you will likely feel quite deprived for a while cutting from 10k/month to 3.5k.
I don’t see how you cut an extra $6000 a month in spending unless you’re wildly overspending (which you may be). I would look at where that $10,000 is going. If it’s eating out, then yes, cut it drastically. Same for shopping. I would budget an annual spend and put that amount for clothes or eating out in each account. But you have to be diligent that once it’s spent, you can’t fall back on the credit card to overspend.
We’re a family of 3 but we could get our credit card bills under $3,500 if we cut out pretty much all travel and entertainment, and restricted meals out to once per week.
But we spend almost no money on summer camp, less than $2k for the whole summer. If you’re spending ~$8-10k per kid for summer camps (not uncommon for sleepaway camp, or even some pricier day camps), you’re probably going to have to cut back your savings. Which is ok. In my area, plenty of people support families on five figure incomes, but those families have SAHMs and aren’t spending big money on childcare.
FWIW, my family of four spends about $1100 on groceries (not including takeout) per month and $1800 on individual needs and wants (gym membership, clothes, takeout, tickets). But we need to also save $2k per month for annual expenses (vacation, car repairs, home improvements, xmas presents, insurance premiums). I track every receipt and expense to keep us on budget. It’s a lot of work.
You would be very surprised how many big ticket items come up each month. So while you think it can all be allocated to food…you will realize that somehow $1000+ in “other necessities” will easily pop up – outside of kids activities and clothes.
Examples from my own life:
Car registration
Yard tick spray
Maintenance on furnace/sump pump/chimney sweep/well system/etc (always something needing a $300 service call)
ER visit for stitches
Wedding and shower gifts
Kid birthday party
Important charitable cause
New car tires or brakes
And on and on…
We are a family of 6 in a HCOL area, but we live pretty frugally (outsource nothing, almost never get takeout or restaurant food, etc). Outside of mortgage and utilities (I include car gas here), we spend about $5500 a month on groceries, a small amount of regular charitable giving, and then everything else. Don’t underestimate how quickly toiletries, a new bathing suit, a week of day camp, etc all add up!
I agree that toiletries are so expensive if you aren’t careful. Dollar tree is amazing for toiletries. Shampoo, conditioner, soap etc is all $1.25. The arm and hammer shower gel, V05 shampoo & conditioner and hair styling products are good enough and a fraction of the cost elsewhere.
Walmart laundry detergent in the plastic bag is $5 and I use it for everything. 1/3 cup is enough so that $5 bag lasts forever.
I have a gym membership (gift from parents) and I use the showers there. I don’t have to pay for toiletries for myself except razors. My skincare is all trader Joe. I only wear eyeliner, mascara and chapstick.
I’m on a very tight budget. This is what I do:
1. Meal plan including planning of leftovers. I use measuring cups to serve food. This cuts back on the waste and I buy less food. Meals are vegetarian 3 nights a week. I use predominantly frozen vegetables from trader joe and tofu from the supermarket as it’s cheaper. The lentils (canned not fresh) in trader Joe are amazing and stretch ground beef dishes.
2. Costco is great but you have to shop with a list. Tough that you want something. Cant afford it. I buy clothes for the children from there as much as possible. I return everything that isn’t liked food wise and clothing that isn’t worn. This is how I justify the cost of the membership.
3. Holidays need to be planned out 6 months in advance. I will have my children for Thanksgiving this year. They will be with their father for Christmas and NYE. I budgeted $95 for Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas will be gifts for each for $50, the nutcracker ballet and polar express. No money is being spent on decorations. Halloween is planned already. The 3 children are doing Harry Potter. I sourced costumes from their clothing and buy nothing group.
4. Transport is expensive. Don’t over drive. Walk when possible. I use my son’s bike when I’m on my own. Avoid tolls.
5. Utilities are expensive. Turn your lights off. I spent $5 on a timed switch for the bathroom. Highly recommend this. My monthly bill for gas and electric for 1200sqft is $200. Get rid of all your subscriptions for media. Ask your library what they have available. I use the library for printing as it’s free. Put black out curtains up (I got mine from the buy nothing group) to help insulate windows from heat and cold.
Most importantly is not to fully fund your 401k when you are this close. Roth IRA works just as well. I would contribute to the match and then add at the end of the year if you have enough in your emergency savings.
If you are a couple, when one parent isn’t working the other should be doing something such as handyman work, babysitting or retail/serving. When my children are not with me I babysit and I’m paid $30/hr. Saturday night the parents came home at 4am. I worked 9 hours and they felt bad so paid me $450. Yes I’m exhausted but that pays for the replacement iPad the kids broke. The local store has a second hand one for $180. When I get my bar card I’ll be behind the bar where I make about $750 7pm to 2am.
this is really helpful, thank you!
Budgeting is such a drag, I get you. I actually only halfway budget and mostly just try and keep track of what I’m spending where, which is all I’ve ever needed to do since I’m naturally a pretty frugal person. MCOL area, and my grocery spending for two adults and a toddler is around $500, with an additional $250-$300 for buying lunch/eating out. Even with teenage boys, I can’t imagine spending $3500 a month on food. tl;dr pay attention to where that $3500 goes and you’ll probably find out that it’s very reasonable for discretionary/flexible spending.
What fiction have you been reading — either paper book or audio? I’d like to hear it all, but I’m particularly looking for books that make me like the people involved, that are decently well-written, and not remotely dystopian. I do not need to feel seen or known; I don’t need to discover that the world is terrible and families are messed up, or that we’re all Going to Die Terribly. I know all this. I don’t need to know what other people do in (or out of) bed. I just want a good story to invite me in. Historical (if accurate) is nice.
I’m really enjoying older historical fiction lately. I read the Wolf Hall series this year, and am now halfway through the Lymond Chronicles (6 book series) which were published in the 1960s. Dense and immersive.
I’m quite impatient with poor writing lately, so am looking towards backlist books which have stood the test of time.
Try the publisher Persephone books – tons of mid-20th century women writers. I’ve read 6 so far and have liked all of them!
I’ve been reading the British Library’s Tales of the Weird book series. The books are a series of short stories published in magazines from the late 1800s to the 1960s. They aren’t scary, just the usual victorian spookery, but I’ve been enjoying them. Very low key and easy to get through.
Since you like historicals, here are a few authors I enjoy:
-Lexie Conygham (available Kindle Unlimited) several series
-Patricia Finney aka P.F. Chisholm
-Stella Riley (historical romance, not wallpaper)
-Ruth Downie
-Jodi Taylor (humorous + time travel) several series
-Naomi Novik (dragons, Napoleonic war)
-C.J. Sansom
-Diana Norman aka Ariana Franklin
-Judith Merkle Riley
-Diana Gabaldon (maybe)
I get most of my reading material from the library. I don’t know how many of these books are currently available in print. But there’s always interlibrary loan, if your library supports that.
P.S. agree with previous recommendation for Dorothy Dunnett. I have not read the Lymond chronicles yet, but I really enjoy her vintage spy series. In the US they are titled variations of “Dolly and the ___”
Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid
Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghy
This Is A Love Story by Jessica Soffer
Just started Notes on Infinity and really enjoying so far.
Just FYI to others that Wild Dark Shore is definitely in the “climate dystopia” category
I wouldn’t say dystopia. Climate change is a factor in the plot, but it’s not dystopian.
What I liked most about the book were the atmosphere in describing the island and the character development and relationships. Not a light read, but world is terrible or we will all die terribly.
It’s set in a near future in which climate change’s impacts are much bigger and the island they’re living on is about to be wiped out. The world is very much in crisis. It’s not dystopian in the “everyone on earth but these six book characters is dead” sense, but I found it extremely anxiety-inducing and I don’t think OP would like it based on her description of what she’s looking for. Also a ton of really dark stuff that is pretty much separate from the climate change: statutory rape, su1cide, children having a parent die at a very young age, etc.
Atmopshere was a huge miss for me, my least favorite TJR ever and I’m a big fan of hers. It was readable, but it was really just a romance and I felt like they didn’t make use of the astronaut setting at all except in a tiny sliver of the narrative. I saw a Goodreads review that said they expected this book to do for NASA what Carrie Soto did for tennis but instead the author just threw around a bunch of buzzwords and didn’t actually bring you into the world of the space shuttle program. And that’s exactly how I felt.
I was also disappointed by how little NASA stuff there was in Atmosphere!
Person who posted the original rec and I agree. But I still liked it!
Yeah, Atmosphere was okay, but it actually sort of felt like a poor rip off of some of the plot lines of the tv show For All Mankind. If you wanted more NASA, watch that instead!
I have been struggling to get into this book and liked most other TJR books except Carrie Soto. Based on this, I may call it a DNF and return to the library.
I loved Wild Dark Shore but I feel like it fits into the “the world is terrible and families are messed up” category.
The Frozen River
Caveat that this involves rape
I’ve been reading Ariadne by Jennifer Saint per a booktok review.
It’s a re-telling of Greek Mythology. It’s a nice way to jog my memory on different greek gods.
There’s a book of Sister Fidelma short stories by Peter Tremayne that I just finished. Set in mediaeval Ireland in various abbies. They’re murder mysteries so people do die, but that’s less the point of interest than the description of the church, the legal profession (Sister Fidelma is a lawyer), and society. I’ve also read a few of the Father Dowling murder mysteries and found those to be compelling and decently written. Similarly, people die, but the murder isn’t really the point.
Father Dowling had also been a cannon lawyer, but was trying to retire peacefully in a village parish.
Sounds like you need some Rosamunde Pilcher. I’m reading her for the first time and it’s very cozy.
From my recent 5 star reads, I think Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver and Good Dirt by Charmaine Wilkerson fit the bill.
I also loved Same as It Ever Was by Clare Lombardo and didn’t find the main character unlikeable (despite some really bad decisions) but a lot of people on Goodreads haaaated her.
Demon Copperhead is one of my fave books of all time, but OP be warned that it does focus heavily on messed up families and dark stuff (though not dystopian).
I’ve never read Demon Copperhead but Beantrees by Kingsolver is one of my favorite novels, so give that a try. Nothing dystopian, just a series of WTF experiences that the main character experiences, overcomes, and grows from.
Demon Copperhead is not at all dystopian. It deals with the opioid crisis in Appalachia, so obviously a lot of heavy stuff including several overdose deaths of young people, although it is ultimately uplifting. It’s certainly not free of trigger warnings, but few books are.
Jane Austen, if you haven’t already read her novels. Emma is especially light and fun. The Kristin Lavransdottir novels are also great and immersive. You might also try Edith Wharton, Virginia Woolf, George Eliot.
Edith Wharton is very stressful. Would not recommend to OP based on her parameters.
Age of Innocence & the new take on it, The Innocents. Both excellent.
James (Percival Everett)
The Wedding People (lighter but not too light — I really loved it)
A friend was telling me about a sort of anti-dystopian genre of books – maybe called sunshine punk, like steampunk but happy?
Becky Chambers is a big author in this ‘genre’ – cozy sci-fi/cozy fantasy. If you haven’t read them yet, the Wayfarers series is great, so is ‘The Spellshop’.
+1 love Becky Chambers!! Also her Monk & Robot series will give you all the happy feels.
I’m reading the Wolf Hall series by Hilary Mantel for the first time. I LOVE the Tudor period and historical fiction, but I always avoided Wolf Hall because it seemed like a slog…I was very pleasantly surprised by how clever and engaging the books are.
I was going to do the year-long read along and ended up blasting through them the first two weeks of January. A Place of Greater Safety (French Revolution) was amazing as well.
I really love the Wolf Hall books and A Place of Greater Safety, but people drop like flies in them. They’re pretty much all about people dying terribly, so not really what OP is looking for. But if you can handle that, I think they’re very much worth reading.
My favorite novel lately was Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby van Pelt. Only problem (not really a problem) is now I can’t eat octopus any more because I know they’re smarter than me!
Yes this is so good! And way more appropriate for OP than almost all the other recs in this thread.
Yes, what is with these recommendations? I’ve read and liked most of the books mentioned here, but almost all of them are not at all what OP asked for! Do people just have no memory of the books they read other than that they liked them? The only ones that seem to meet her criteria are this one, the Becky Chambers books, Jane Austen, and Abby Jimenez. Maybe Wedding People too (has a dark premise, but turns into a feel good book by the end). There are a few I haven’t read, so maybe there are a few others too, but many of these were really pretty dark, even if otherwise good reads.
It’s because it’s remarkably hard to write a good book that has no plot and no character development. Can I think of some titles of books that have no death and very little interpersonal conflict? Sure, but they’re terrible books where nothing happens.
I loved that book.
I’m currently reading The God of the Woods by Liz Moore and enjoying it. Also read the first of a fantasy trilogy set in the middle east that begins with City of Brass (by S.A. Chakraborty) and am looking forward to the next one.
I loved The God of the Woods. I keep reading books that are supposed to be “the next God of the Woods” and they all leave me feeling flat (looking at you, Broken Country).
Oh, same. I gave up octopus years ago for the same reason.
Have you read Abby Jiminez? I always like her stuff and gobble it in a day.
If you can tolerate references to God, Jody Hedlund is a very enjoyable historical romance writer. I just finished one of her books in one sitting, from 8-1, last night.
have you read any Barbara Kingsolver? the Poisonwood Bible is excellent.
Circe by Madeline Miller – retelling of greek mythology, good escapism
My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante – I didn’t love it (just didn’t mesh with it) but sounds like a good fit for what you’re looking for, and a lengthy series you can get wrapped up in.
I tried to love Elena Ferrante, but couldn’t. I can’t even place my finger on why, I just had to keep putting it down until I gave up.
Same.
For historical fiction, I have many recommendations.
Kristen Hannah writes very enjoyable historical fiction- there’s definitely tragedy & hardship but the stories are still very readable.
Marie Benedict writes (from what I can tell) well-researched novels about women whom history hasn’t focused as much on as they should- I just read Her Hidden Genius about Rosalind Franklin (she’s also written about Clem Churchill, Bella de la Costa (JP Morgan’s personal librarian), etc.)
Beatriz Williams has great history novels that jump time & broadly follow the same extended family. They do involve elements of romance but they’re not as explicit as romance novels are. Her Last Flight is a standalone novel that you could start with.
Kate Quinn also writes sprawling historical fiction, a lot of it about WW2. The Alice Network is probably one of her best known books.
Kate Quinn is a million times better than Kristin Hannah, in my opinion. I just read The Briar Club, which I believe is her newest, and it fits the OP’s parameters of likeable (but layered) characters. Highly recommend. The Rose Code (WWII codebreakers) and Diamond Eye (based on a true story of a woman sniper) are also excellent.
You might really like Elinor LIpman. All of her main characters are likeable, although some are more prickly than others, the writing is sharp and funny, and the books generally center on relationships – not only romances but family and friend relationshps – among people of good will. Favorites have inlcuded Ms. Demeanor, The View from Penthouse B and The Family Man,
I have also enjoyed A Gentleman in Moscow and Table for Two by Amor Towles. Very different stories and main characters, entertaining plots, beautifully written.
Anny Tyler has a new and quite short novel, maybe a novella, Three Days in June, that is very nice.
The Uncommon Reader is another short read, by Alan Bennett, involving Queen Elizabeth and a bookmobile that is utterly charming.
And if you haven’t read it, check out the House in the Cerulean Sea. it’s lovely.
Thinking of the retirement funds lost the other day.
How screwed am I? Burned out, and returned to school for another master’s degree, so have $100k in student loan debt. Cashed out my retirement savings and am not back to year 1 at a role within the public education system. If I work to 67, I’d make 80% of my salary which is currently $91k and would have health insurance. My spouse makes $150k and we have two teenagers who will be in college soon. I have $4k in a ROTH IRA and contribute monthly. Second degree would allow me to have a private therapy practice or other pension jobs such as VA, hospitals, or other state social work positions. Our home has an inexpensive monthly mortgage at a low rate, with $200k left and is valued at $480k and climbing.
Forgot to add, I’m 40 and partner is 45.
No more schooling and no more debt.
You are way behind on retirement savings. And I’m guessing college savings
You need to dig in and get out of this hole. Every job sucks. There is no magic degree that will solve this.
Just to chime in, also in my 40s, you aren’t alone. I’m digging out of my own hole.
Thanks for chiming in-good to know am not alone.
Most people can only dream of an 80 percent pension on 91K a year. People with a pension don’t have to save as much.
And the health insurance is really priceless. Really.
The pension will save you if you stay in your government job. I was where you are when I was 40 and I managed to pay off a ton of debt (mostly my ex-husband’s back taxes) and land on my feet with a comfortable retirement by 65, thanks in large part to a government pension and also matching funds for my tax-deferred retirement savings. (And don’t come at me about remarrying — I have my own money, TYVM!) If you put your head down now and be smart (don’t take on any more debt for any reason, cut expenses and save for retirement like your life depends on it) you will be okay. Your kids will have to take on debt for college and that’s a shame, but at this point it can’t be helped.
If your retirement expenses can be covered by 80% of your salary and you are willing and able to work until 67, then yes you should be fine but I think you need to look at more info to get the full picture. What are your expenses, currently and anticipated in the future? Have you planned for loan repayments, house repairs, college expenses, etc. and included that in your budget? What does your spouse’s retirement situation look like and how do you combine finances (or not)? If you have a shortfall, can they help cover and vice versa?
This would be for a third masters? I feel like the lost income from working / retirement plan eligibility + new loans for said program are likely not worth it. But I’d investigate what the cost of having a private therapy business is like vs income it might generate, especially if you plan to be a small business owner vs a W-2 employee of someone who pays for overhead / deals with insurance, negotiates rent / etc.
No, I have two master’s-just finished the second, so the student loan repayments are starting soon. I could charge between $150-$400 an hour (wouldn’t feel comfortable charging $400, however, but I see that local therapists do charge that much.)
Girl. Stop going to school and start working.
I am working. My salary is $91k. Not planning on any more school.
This. The point of the schooling is to help you earn more money at your job.
Just make sure you’re telling your kids now that you cannot afford to help with college
I think this is a fair approach. Let them know what the options are (loans, scholarships, or maybe a combination of working and part-time school) so they aren’t gob smacked their senior year. Lots of people pay for their own college so they won’t be alone.
Sorry if it comes through as a double post, but I have $20k saved for each teen in a college savings account.
Great then tell them that. But you can’t afford anything else because you are in debt and behind on retirement.
Huh? Impossible to follow this but if you’re asking about the ROI on a late career second degree, the answer is don’t do that. Stick with the job you have, see it as a way to make money, start cutting your expenses and save/invest more. More school is never the answer to financial security outside your 20s or early 30s.
The second master’s is already done. Mostly trying to figure out with a pension of 80% of my current salary of $91k (assuming the pension still exists) how much additional retirement savings I need to try and focus on making from a side private practice. The second degree was because I couldn’t envision remaining in my role until retirement age (high conflict, physical at times with students who are dysregulated) but have accepted I might need to.
If I could get a pension of 80% of my salary at any job, I’d never leave it. Women in my family live forever.
+1
She already did it
Huh, different anon but I also have no idea what OP is saying. What’s the question then?
Yeah, her post is very confusing.
I think she’s asking something more like “how will I manage in retirement? What options are the best for that?” Op I’d get that private therapy business off the ground soon, and take whatever high paying w-2 job allows on in order to see if it’s viable in retirement. My mil is a private therapist and makes good money hourly but it’s too draining to do full time, especially in her 70s. Good luck .
Your post is very confusing.
Why are you not including anything about your spouse’s savings/pension? Are you getting divorced soon?
You will be fine. Your retirement benefits are very good. Combined with your husband’s retirement benefits, your social security, a paid off house, you are better than most that’s for sure. With your degree, you can do additional part time work on the side even as a retiree. Many in your type of work do… for fun/interest. My neighbor is in her 80s and still does counseling one day a week, for fun.
I hope you have already warned your kids that they need to take out loans and temper their expectations about college.
You will be fine.
Has anyone here done a BA to RN program? I want to hear all of your stories, advice, and anecdata. At what point did you stop working FT and just dive in full time? I have some prerequisites left but am otherwise really liking it.
My husband did. He did most of his prereqs at the local Community college while working. Then he did a one year accelerated program. Did not work during the accelerated program.
Then he did two years of ICU and then went to CRNA school. Highly recommend all of this.
Thanks — that is similar to what I’m doing. What was he doing before and was he able to stay local for the ABSN and CRNA? I swear that the CRNAs are the only uniformly happy people I know in the world (much less in health care).
Yes for ABSN but no for CRNA school.
I think whether you have to move depends on what schools are available near you.
FWIW, there is zero premium pay/competitiveness for fancy/expensive school. It’s such an in demand field, all schools are treated the same. I’d go for the cheapest/easiest school for you.
Previously he worked in publishing, so he had zero science background at all.
I am not a nurse, but I can attest that becoming a CRNA is a great career path if you’re interested in nursing.
DH usually carries health insurance for us as a couple and our two teens. If he retires early, I can carry family coverage at my job for me, him, and the kids. If we are 55, 60, and teens, would it make sense to do a HDHP at any of our ages (assume I have 12 years of family plan until youngest is 26; I am 55 and he is 60). And do I carry him as a spouse until he is 65 (Medicare eligible) or even keep it beyond that? I am used vanilla insurance and I know there are some tax advantages to HDHP plans, but am not really well versed. And as we age, I feel that we are less “vanilla” with what happens in a year vs the younger decades where we basically never went to the doctor because we weren’t sick and it wasn’t the cancer / heart attack years.
I mean your kids can get their own insurance at 21/22 when they graduate from college and get a job.
I mean, they can, but in our family, all kids cost the same as 1 kid, so if you are keeping one kid on until the youngest finishes high school / college, it lets the older ones stay on at no additional cost. So if 23YO kid is working and has insurance, they can keep on the family coverage for the 19YO kid who is still in school (at least as a secondary policy). I guess you could just stop family coverage when the youngest finishes high school, but IDK how well school or Obamacare policies work in the summer before college, on breaks, and over the summer, especially if a kid bounces around locations. It may be easier / no less expensive to keep everyone on one policy, especially if there is a family maximum out of pocket you could hit.
Same, at my employer insuring 1 kid is the same as insuring 10 kids. Makes zero sense to take kids off your insurance until they’re 26 if they have younger siblings who need to be on it.
When I was a young adult there was no way I would have let my parents have that much information about my health via explanations of benefits.
I mean, I certainly won’t force my kids to stay on my insurance to 26, but I think most 22-26 year olds would jump at the chance to stay on health insurance their parents pay for. I certainly did. I have a good relationship with my parents and honestly didn’t think twice about the privacy angle. I don’t think they were digging into EOBs and if they were they never said anything to me about what they saw.
IDK — I was still a cheap MF and free is free. Also, I don’t think you have to submit all bills to insurance, especially if it is secondary. Finally, other than an annual pelvic exam (which they would urged me to do over summer break), I don’t recall having anything going on that they didn’t know about (allergies, stuff that carried over from when I was a teen). I have a feeling that today’s teens are practically cloistered vs how feral we were.
An STD testing panel is the only thing I can think of in an EOB that you might not want to share with your parents. But it’s not like the results are there, and as a parent I wouldn’t link it to sexual behavior and would just assume the doctor had suggested it as a matter of course. YMMV.
We were so grateful for the 26 year rule. When I was in law school in the 90s, I had no insurance and a gynocological scare. Our son graduated with his masters and got a good job with insurance after he turned 25. Adolesence extends to the mid-20s now!
Adolesence extends to the mid-20s is an insane sentence.
Have you tried to get health care while on a college or grad student health plan? Those plans cover like nothing except pregnancy and STD tests at the campus health center. It’s not a maturity issue; it’s an issue of college health plans not covering anything for students.
College and grad school students can’t normally access decent insurance except through their parents. I graduated law school at 25 and am so glad I didn’t get kicked off my parents’ insurance until 26.
This depends wildly on the specifics of the plans your employer offers. You need to consider the network, the premiums, the copays, and the deductible. For my employer, we were much better off with a traditional plan as long as we we lived in state, because the in state network had essentially zero out of pocket costs. When we moved out of state, we could no longer use that network and had to switch to a HDHP with higher premiums and much higher out of pocket costs but a nationwide network.
HDHP isn’t necessarily worse if you have high healthcare costs. In fact, it’s often better. Fun fact, at my employer, the HDHP is the better deal whether your healthcare expenses are near zero, moderate or high. You just pay in premiums if you don’t pay in deductible. So I wouldn’t worry about being on an HDHP in your 60s or beyond. Just make sure you budget for paying the deductible in one go, rather than paying it monthly in premiums.
For me, HDHP would only be worse if my family has a large amount of expenses year after year, like just under the max out of pocket limit without going over.
If we have an uneventful year, HDHP is cheaper. And if we have just one $$$ year, HDHP is way cheaper (especially if I load in all the $$ events; once we reach that max for the year everything else is basically free). That only happened once (one of us needed surgery early in the health plan year), so we fit in everything under the sun during the remainder of the plan year. I just make sure we have enough in our HSA to cover the out of pocket max. It is amazing not to have to worry about health care costs in any given year.
The only clear answer here is never delay starting Medicare. He goes on it the day he qualifies.
Do you drop other coverage? Or keep it? IDK anything about it and both parents had retiree medical coverage in addition to Medicare, so they always had Cadillac-level coverage. IDK how it is now — is Medicare even good or barely adequate?
I learned from managing my parents healthcare in their retirement that it was always better to maintain private medical insurance as long as possible. It was usually better coverage than Medicare. So what you do is the retired person in the couple signs up for Medicare at the appropriate age, and uses the working spouse’s plan as their secondary insurance to Medicare. Medicare does not pay for all medical charges – most people purchase a supplement to Medicare policy to cover the 20% that Medicare does that pay. So your spouse wont need to purchase this supplement – they will use yours. And the best thing is that when Medicare refuses to pay for something, then the private insurance will pick it up.
There are many things that Medicare does not cover, or covers poorly. For example, it doesn’t cover dental, vision, or hearing aids but private plans often do. Medicare covers the cheapest version of most durable medical equipment, and wont cover many (most?) medical supples, but often private insurance will cover better equipment and supplies. And there are many newer treatments/drugs that are not covered by Medicare. So if your loved one gets Cancer, some of the newer drugs are out of reach. However, your private health insurance may cover more of the newer drugs.
But it is also hard to think about this when who knows how health insurance/employment situations/Medicare will change over the next 5+ years.
But if you are every eligible for continuing private health insurance as a retiree, you jump on that benefit.
Why? My husband qualifies from Medicare but can stay on my large employer, excellent health care plan for less than Medicare would cost.
There are penalties for late enrollment that are added to his Medicare premium once he enrolls that will continue on for the rest of his life. 100% go research this if you haven’t.
Yes, definitely talk to your state Medicare advising office to make sure you do this correctly. But in general, yes – you want him to stay on private insurance as long as he can. But also talk to your benefits office. Some companies require spouses to sign up for Medicare when eligible and use the company plan as the secondary insurance.
I wouldn’t even consider an HDHP unless it qualifies you to contribute to an HSA… not all of them do. I think you need to look for QHDHP.
Can you explain this linkage a bit more? I’m used to more standard vanilla health care where you pay for coverage and then just have a copay. I’ve never had an HSA or a HDHP.
I could be wrong but I think almost all employer-offered HDHPs in the US are qualifying for HSAs. Your employer should be able to confirm it’s HSA-eligible.
But fwiw, I don’t think it’s a big deal even without an HSA. You just need do the math on premiums vs deductible. You pay WAY less in premiums with an HDHP, so you don’t necessarily come out behind, even with big healthcare bills. At my employer, the monthly premiums for the low deductible plans more than cover the higher deductible for the HDHP.
This is going to depend on the specifics of the plans available to you and the costs. My advise to you is to look at what you spend on health care in a typical year, including:
– premiums
– office visits
– procedures
– prescriptions
– over-the-counter items (contact lenses, OTC meds, medical supplies, etc)
Add up what you spend under your current plan. Now do a forecast for the HDHP, but also include:
– deductible amount
– HSA amount (both your contributions plus any employer-paid pass-through available to you)
– adjust for any changes in co-pay amounts
I switched to a HDHP this year for my family and it took a leap of faith, but so far it’s been great. I’m saving $4K on annual premiums and the deductible is $3300 – meaning I pay for the first $3300 out of pocket and then most things are covered at a very high rate. We hit our deductible last month and this month my prescriptions were zero cost, for example. I have a $1800 employer pass-through to my HSA, and then I am saving an additional $250/month into it. (This $250 I previously saved as a FSA, but HSA can roll over indefinitely). My paycheck went up, my net health care costs have gone down, and I’ll have money that can continue to grow unless I need it.
My understanding is that HDHP + HSA is beneficial for most people – even those with high healthcare costs – after 1 year as long as you are funding your full out of pocket limit into the HSA. The risk is in that first year, when the HSA is not yet funded, you may have high out of pocket costs that have to come out of your own money.
It tends to be most beneficial for people with very low or very high expenses. If you consistently need to see the doctor a lot and those visits would otherwise be covered by a low copay, but you don’t spend so much that you always meet your deductible or come close to meeting your out of pocket max, then you’re only going to save money if the premiums are a lot lower on the HDHP. You really need to do the math for your specific options.
Anyone have a breast MRI? Recently had a mammogram and I have dense breasts and a score of 16.2% (no family history). My doctor says they do MRI for anything greater than 12%. Just curious how it works. Thanks!
I get them annually and they suck, but it’s bearable. You have to lay face down in a Superman posture so it’s worse than other MRIs. They are definitely better than mammograms for dense breasts, almost too good – recently had to have a biopsy for something MRI picked up and it was totally benign. Better safe than sorry, of course.
Same experience for me. The wait between the finding and the biopsy is tough. Also, the MRI they use at my cancer center is extremely strong and gives me vertigo/nausea while I’m in the machine. Going to ask if I can take something like zofran or dramamine next time!
They aren’t fun, but I actually find them more comfortable than some other MRIs. You’re face down, with your boobs strategically placed. If it’s with contrast, they will give you an MRI and push the contrast halfway thru. You’ve got this!
I found the MRI less of a PITA than the ultrasound, which always makes me lie in weird positions long enough to get uncomfortable. The MRI had all of these pillows, so it was actually comfortable. And being face down, it feels less claustrophobic than lying on your back in an MRI machine can. If you have never had an MRI before, look up what they sound like beforehand – the noises are very, very weird. They gave me earplugs, but it was still audible.
This is wild to me — I have been dense for decades and it’s never been quantified. I’ve just gotten a “you are dense” form letter after each uneventful mamo. I’m now wondering — is this a more updated standard of care? I live in a major city and it looks like I’m just assuming that we get better / more updated care here vs the small town my parents live in.
My radiology center uses a quiz/calculator to assess risk, and I am suddenly classified as very high risk, possibly because I gained weight. It benefits them financially for me to undergo extra screenings. My OBGYN was scratching her head about the recommendation but said, ‘Well, a baseline MRI isn’t a bad thing if your insurance will pay for it.” It did, but I’m not sure I will continue to get a breast MRI every 12 months, plus a mammogram and ultrasound every 12 months, on an alternating schedule, so one is every 6 months. This is what the center recommended.
Very high risk? Do you have BRCA1 mutation and/or a lot of breast cancer in your family? They are considered very high risk.
I have a lifetime risk of 28% and that is not considered even high risk. It is moderate risk. I have a ton of cancer in my family, and I inherited a gene that puts me at increased risk of breast cancer. I also have dense breasts, never had children so my breast cancer is additionally increased from those risk factors. I get a mammogram once a year, and an MRI once a year.
In the US, there is a 13% chance of breast cancer for women over their lifetime.
I guess what I’m saying is that there are not a lot of women that are told they are very high risk of breast cancer. Those are usually the BRCA mutation carries that often get prophylactic mastectomy because their risk is so high. Did they discuss that with you? If not, maybe you need to get an appointment in your High Risk cancer center and figure out what is going on. If your OB/GYN is scratching their head, then something is off. No one should trust a radiology office to guide them on cancer screening.
Most large academic hospitals have a high risk breast clinic. Those are the experts. Trust what they recommend.
High Risk Breast clinic is what I meant to type.
It’s updated standard of care. They have determined in the last few years that dense breasts aren’t just harder to diagnose, but are a risk factor in and of themselves for cancer. SOC now requires that they specifically tell you this after a mammo and suggest either ultrasound, MRI, or both.
This is correct. My OB does ultrasound, but I know people who’ve had MRIs too. I have my first mammogram next month, but my OB has already told me it is 99.9% odds I will need an ultrasound after and not to worry.
It’s a risk rating. I’m a 37% …. significant family history (mom and sister, among many others yet no positive genetic testing), highest score my doc had seen yet. Woot.
I didn’t get this rating until I was recently went to my hospital’s cancer center for screening. FWIW, I’m in Boston and my PCP is at MGH. She referred me to the MGH cancer center for screening, which is where I got updated genetic testing and the official score. I now get MRI/mammo ever 6 months and see someone at the Bre ast Center specificalyl for my follow ups and to read my 6-month scans.
There are different densities. Many people have heterogeneously dense breasts but not extremely dense breasts, which would qualify you for an mri. Your Gyn can explain how it works next time you go.
The procedure takes maybe 25 minutes. You lie face down on the table; there are cutouts that they nestle your breasts into, and a sort of spa table support for your face and neck. It’s incredibly loud – so loud, you can’t imagine how loud it will be. They give you earplugs, but the assault on your eardrums is still very real. Some of the machines (but not all) can pipe in music; the noise overpowers the music, but I would still recommend the music if it’s an option for you because it allows you to keep track of time, and it provides somewhat of a distraction.
Did I mention how unbelievably loud it is? Other than that, it’s an easy procedure – you just lie there, fairly comfortably. My results get posted to my MyChart within a day or so.
After hearing all of the MRI horror stories, I had no problem with mine. Like others said, I was on my stomach, face down, and just concentrated on deep breathing. The noises were weird, but the tech warned me each time they started. I didn’t think it was excessively loud. I think it helped that mine was scheduled for 7am, so I didn’t spend any time worrying about it. Woke up, drove to the appointment, laid down again. Zzzz.
Same. It was really kind of a non-event. I’ve had many MRIs in my day for other ailments, so the noise is just par of the course for them. The only remotely uncomfortable thing was the metal piece that my b rea st bone had to rest against when laying down but it was discomfort and not pain… kind of like a dental cleaning in that way.
I’ve done MRIs for other reasons but I find it relaxing, like meditation. But maybe that’s because I have little kids.
I have had several due to being positive for a breast cancer gene. They’re fine! Top and bra off, non-metallic leggings and cozy socks on. You lay on the table with little scoops for your breasts to hang into and a massage-table face holder thing for your face. I took a scrunchy to keep my hair out of my face. They put a nice warm blanket over my back. You have an iv placed beforehand – they do the first part of the scan and then inject a contrast dye and do the second part of the scan once that is done. The dye felt a little cold going into my arm. They give you a little squeezy ball attached by an air pump to a sort of bell or alarm to squeeze if you feel scared or want to talk to them. I’ve never the need to use it. The scan is quite noisy but they put headphones on me – they can talk to you through the head phones to update you on what is happening. I didn’t mind that I wasn’t able to be asked to “just look at one thing for a second” as I am five thousand times per day at home and at work. My technicians told me that mothers always love their MRIs for that reason. I think the whole scan was about 20 minutes for both parts. I have to go yearly and don’t dread it at all. The test has a high sensitivity rate and I’m glad to have the option of extra screening in addition to my mammograms. Good luck!
I have a mutation in a breast cancer high risk gene, and get breast MRIs every year. No big deal at all. So much more comfortable than a mammogram. I am small and have had injuries from mammograms and dread those so much I skipped them for 8 years.
There was an org wide email that we need to make cuts, it’s supposed to be based on metrics (which would make my funds safe since we do the most globally impactful work with the least funds) however I know my executives, this is going to be a popularity contest and it’s so demoralizing.
i’m sorry — that really sucks
What’s the longest commute you’re willing to do? Does the calculation change if you’re driving vs taking a train, or there are multiple legs involved? Or if this is relatively temporary (say two years) vs indefinite? I’m particularly interested if you have a baby or young kids in daycare.
Single: 3 hours RT with a parking garage, a walk to a train, and a walk after that. And then back. Do not recommend.
Married with kids: I even cared about what side of the street the daycare was on, what the traffic was, where the nearest grocery store was, etc., etc. And “not more than 30 minutes for the longest leg, which can’t be every leg, but like the ‘home to center in the afternoon’ version of the drive.” Time is precious when life is that complex.
20 minutes? But I live in a Midwest college town and that’s a long commute here. I really hate commuting and it was a big part of why we left the Bay Area. I’ve also been fully remote since 2020 so at this point the idea of any commute at all is off-putting to me.
I do think the calculation changes if you can ride a train, because you can use the time to read or get work done (I can’t get into audiobooks or podcasts). But with young kids a long commute is going to be hard no matter what.
Max commute 30 minutes, ideally shorter. I have 10 minutes walking now and it’s perfect. I live in a HCOL city so this did require sacrifices in housing selection.
Longest train commute would be 1 hour, longest bus commute would probably be around the same. What also matters to me is how many “seats” the commute is (e.g. having to take two trains vs. one bus, I prefer to limit my number of “seats”).
15 minutes. I have WFH for a decade and taken pay hits to do so.
Oof, I’ve had awful commutes since my son was 4 due to academic precarity. But luckily I’m only on campus during the teaching term. The first 2 years involved a plane and overnight stay… the last 2 years is 3 hours each way (bus, train, bike/walk) – but my plan for the coming term is to stay over two nights. I’m counting down the days to my sabbatical.
My life’s dream is a walking commute.
Man I can not imagine willingly taking this on. I have a job that only exists in 5 cities in the world, so I get it, but I made very different decisions.
It’s a little different for academics, since you can be home whenever you’re not teaching. My husband and I were long distance (cross-country) for the first two years of our marriage, which sounds horrible, but he was home for 3-4 months every summer, six weeks at the winter holidays, 1-2 weeks at each of fall and winter breaks, and for a lot of that time they were able to get him on a once/week class schedule so when he visited he could fly out Tuesday night (or whatever day it was that he taught) and stay through Monday night and take a red-eye home. In total I think he was home with me maybe 60-70% of the time. It really wasn’t that different than being married to someone who’s local but travels a lot for work.
Wildly depends on how rough the commute is, how reliable that timing is, how good the job is, and how flexible it is. I currently commute 30 minutes door to door and I love it. 10 minute walk, 10 minute subway, 10 minute walk. But if Fancy Employer wants to offer me 60k more and let me be remote 2-3 days a week then sure I’ll drive an hour each way.
The longest commute I’d consider for a 5x/week situation is about 40-45 minutes at this point. With a baby/young kids in daycare someone needs to be within 20 minutes of the center – you, spouse, grandparents, whatever – my kids got sick on no notice constantly and having to wait on a train to get them would have been horrible.
20 mins. I can’t stand commuting. DH handles it better so we live 10 minutes to my office and 25 minutes to his office in a house that we overpaid for.
Back in the day my one-way car commute was half an hour on the best day, 90 minutes on the worst days. And that was when we were in the office 5 days a week. It started when my kid was two. 0/10 do not recommend.
I finally got a job in the town where I live (15 minute one-way car commute) when she was in community college, so too late to do any good with child care. But other than that, it was a dream come true!
Two years is still a really long time to put up with a commute. I don’t think that would factor into my decision.
My commutes have all been a 15 minute walk or less (living downtown). Having that extra time to do what I want is priceless.
I’m 12:35 below, and yes. I went from an hour to 15 min driving or biking, or 25 min bus+short walk on either side and it felt life-changing.
I’ve just started a new hybrid job and may have an hour commute on some days I need to be in the office, but that’s only 1-2 times/week, max.
I went job hunting when I had my second baby and realized my ~hour commute each way made me sad. I’m not sure it would have mattered to me if I’d known it was temporary, because it was all emotions, but in retrospect it’s much easier to have a long commute with toddlers than it would be now with school-age kids.
Public transit is better (to me) than driving in traffic, but I remember saying at the time that even though I can read a book on the metro, I’d still rather be home sooner.
We moved and have a 3 and 5 year old. My commute went up to 30-45 minutes driving (from 20-25) and that’s my max. My husband’s commute time was unchanged at 20 min and he’s doing more of the drop offs/pick ups in response.
100% circumstantial. I’ve commuted 3 hours daily for a great job that was a necessary step in my career. I’ve had 10 minute commutes. What matters most is how it all fits together for your life. I do recommend figuring out how to be in an office though, at least part of the time. Otherwise out of sight, out of mind.
I have a very low tolerance for car commuting, higher tolerance for bike or train, but still pretty low. I’ve currently got a 3 minute bike ride from my house to the babysitters and then another 15-20 minutes to work (depends on traffic). This is better than the 10-15 minute drive to work because my son likes bike rides better than car rides and now I get exercise baked into my day. I can’t imagine a total commute of more than 30 minutes because of sleeping and eating schedules – off work at 5, pickup kid, home around 5:40, unload everyone, microwave some dinner and it’s 6, takes 20-30 minutes to eat, another 10 to clean up, then you’ve got half an hour of wiggle room or to just hang out before you start getting ready for bed. And that’s assuming you have a dinner that can microwave in 5 minutes or less!
Did anyone else read the WSJ article yesterday re ovaries and how they may hold some longevity secrets? As I get older, and after I read the Menopause Manifesto, I am convinced that when we hit menopause, everything can really go to sh*t after that, like it’s a big inflection point in the health-part of our lives. I know that so many people think that gender is a social construct, but I feel that at some point, we are really tied to our DNA more than what is external to us. Especially once perimenopause hits (and for me, it has). I’m trying to get enough calcium and exercise, but IDK how much as you age is your habits vs what is in your family history.
I didn’t see it but just looked it up – gift link if anyone wants:
https://www.wsj.com/health/wellness/step-aside-longevity-bros-its-time-for-the-longevity-ladies-4b53049d?st=oWcxqm&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
Yes, but you’re talking about sex, not gender. Weird to use this to be TERF-y.
🙄 Biology isn’t bigotry.
I don’t think this article had anything to do with being the banned word, so that little dig about gender was weird. But truly, if you’re saying that we’re helpless and tied to our dna I think the point the article is making us that we aren’t. Being able to slow down how ovaries age through meds like in the study from the article (or even replacing those hormones that your ovaries aren’t producing via medication) can counter your genetic destiny. I think we can all agree with the article’s statement that we deserve more research about hormones.
I feel like the article didn’t say much. It summed up some of the talking points for HRT without mentioning HRT. It seemed very “but what about the men.” I guess focusing on how studying the ovaries would benefit women isn’t something their audience would care about?
I’m going to Vail for a client event tomorrow. Eek. 80 people, 2 women including myself. My firm is host. Help me pack?
Day 1 is evening cocktails/passed hors d’oeuvres at the host luxe hotel for a “welcome reception”
Day 2 is three parts. (a) morning is professional content/sessions at the hotel (b) activities – mine is four wheeling, (c) is dinner walkable to the hotel but presumably somewhere fancy schmancy.
Day 3 is optional breakfast and depart.
I live in the northeast and I’ve been thinking along the lines of Nantucket-chic for packing, minus lobsters and other blatant nautical enhancements. Does that sound right?
So…
Day 1 – slightly more casual but nice summer dress. I have a black linen dress with sleeves and a structured collar that’s midi length I’m thinking about.
Day 2- (a) morning – men will definitely be in golf attire. I’m thinking a day dress with sweater or dress with sleeves, (b) black leggings, sneakers, black v-neck lulu shirt but definitely reading athleisure, (c) white wide leg pants, strappy sandals and a knit tank, either tan or a blue/white horizontal stripe. Might grab a denim jacket in case it’s cool on the walk to/from the restaurant.
Am I at all thinking about this the right way? Helppppp.
Day 1 sounds fine
Day 2 I’d pick something to top with a blazer for the morning
Day 2 dinner sounds a bit casual. Maybe look up the restaurant & tags on Insta to see what people are wearing there?
I don’t know if it is as much of an issue in Vail, but on the East coast, black on black for an outdoor activity is asking for ticks and tick-related diseases. You won’t see them on black. Signed, someone who is outdoors in the woods as part of their job.
your plan sounds a little more casual than what I’d expect for that industry & seniority.
day 1 sounds fine.
2a – would wear nice biz casual.
2b – personally I would not wear leggings as pants around my coworkers esp. as one of the only women. maybe lulu align joggers.
2c – again sounds a little casual. do you have a more elevated top?
Good point on the joggers.
Ugh I don’t have an more elevated top but I need one stat. I have Jcrew, Banana, Vineyard Vines, Madewell and Loft all at my fingertips. Just need something to be in stock. I’m open to ALL suggestions. I leave at 5:30am tomorrow. What would constitute a more elevated top?
I posted below but I think you sound mostly fine and I’d amp up accessories- earrings, necklaces, belts, good shoes, handbag etc are all ways to take you look up a notch without emergency shopping. Also, I’d take a blazer over a denim jacket, that helps up the look too.
I’d prioritize Banana and JCrew from that list.
Here’s one idea- I’d do black
https://www.jcrew.com/m/womens/categories/clothing/shirts-and-tops/pintuck-shell-top-in-ramie/ME444?display=standard&fit=Classic&color_name=city-blue&colorProductCode=CK045
These are too casual for your work event. I would aim for J McLaughlin, Tory Burch, or Brooks Brothers.
Are you going to have time to change your outfit 3 times on day 2? Can you consolidate that somehow? And I would be thinking business casual not at all Nantucket-chic (not sure what that means but it sounds like an upscale beach vacation?).
Yes – confirmed that I will have time. I’m told ATVing/4 wheeling involves getting muddy. Did not know that when I signed up. Le sigh, but should be fun.
I just had a female colleague tell me last year that a decent subset of men wore jeans and a blazer to the Day 2 dinner last year so it seems that literally anything goes. So, I think what I have is actually going to get a pass (she thought so when I described it). Point taken about accessorizing and I will be sure to do that. I do get in early enough that I may be able to make a pit stop at a local Jcrew or Banana before driving to Vial from Denver to see if there’s anything else to pair with my white pants.
Also, “Nantucket chic” was intended to be just like preppy, polished, classic lines. Seems like that term isn’t commonly known, sorry for that…. think like Tuckernuck, some of Jcrew’s looks (not necessarily Vineyard Vines, which is like a caricature of itself sometimes). Not upscale beach at all. More like upscale dinner after a beach day on Nantucket or the Hamptons. Maybe that description only makes sense in my own head.
I hate that zero men attending this tomorrow have to think about this. Polo? Check. Pants? Check. Done.
I would wear jeans and sneakers for the four wheeling activity. But I do not generally wear leggings as pants other than for an exercise class.
I also do not think your day 2 dinner outfit sounds “fancy schmancy” at all, especially when paired with a denim jacket. I would probably wear a dress again if you do not have a nicer top or jacket.
I want to buy my husband a really nice plush robe. The kind you find at a fancy hotel.
I bought one from BrookLinen and it was incredibly underwhelming.
Does anyone have a brand they would recommend? TIA!
The fancy hotels will sell you one of their robes. This one from Fairmont looks nice: https://us.fairmontstore.com/products/fairmont-gold-robe?
Just do a search for “hotel bathrobes.”
This is the way! Even better if you get one from a special trip and then it’s a sentimental thing as well.
I’d go to the four seasons hotel store and buy theirs.
I bought my husband a robe from Cozy Earth (I think it was the Waffle Bath Robe). Very thick and plush and felt very luxurious. I ended up getting myself one too after borrowing his all the time. Maybe a bit heavy for the summers where we are, but he wears it daily and it has held up well so far.
I think the WSJ just had an article about how hotel robes are getting colorful and fun and yes they will sell them to you.
The Waldorf Astoria has amazing robes.
I have a longer post in mod. Short story: Going to Vail for a work event next week. Staying at the Four Seasons. My firm is hosting, attendees are c-suite, very senior people at our finance client firms. 80 ppl, two women. Need outfit help. As a northeastern’er, I’m thinking Nantucket-chic, minus any blatant nautical references. Am I going down the right path? Assuming men will be in golf attire for the most part. Hoping my other post shows up at some point.
I would dress more formally than Nantucket chic based on what you’ve said here
Same.
Ok. Then this is an SOS. I need to get something at like Jcrew or Banana and tonight for the dinner Wednesday. I just lost over 75 lbs and have next to nothing that fits right. I was hoping as basically the only woman I’d slide in with the white pants (not denim in case that matters) and top that I described.
I’ll prob post on the next thread for ideas.
If I had Tuckernuck at my fingertips, that’s prob where I’d head next. I’m 40 fwiw. I swear I’m just a token women invite – I work with all of these people but their direct reports. I’m not sure how I made the invite list otherwise.
My tip is if you can’t emergency shop, use accessories to elevate your look. Add earrings, necklaces, belts, scarves as looks right.