Coffee Break: Knit Blazer
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I'm surprised to see that this knit sweater blazer is on final sale at Everlane — obviously the boxier lady jackets have been having a moment, but the more fitted sweater blazers are coming back again (for example, the Jenni Kayne sweater we featured last week).
In any event: there are a lot of sizes left, all marked down 50% to $99 — if you know your fit at Everlane, it's something to consider.
The sweater blazer also comes in a cream and taupey gray, in sizes XXS-XXL.
Sales of note for 8/8/25
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your full price purchase, and $99 dresses and jackets — extra 60% off sale also
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles with code
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off all sale
- Evereve – Sale on sale (thru Sunday)
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles & up to 60% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything and extra 60% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – New August drop, and up to 70% off sale – try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
- Neiman Marcus – Last call designer sale! Spend $200, get a $50 gift card (up to $2000+ spend with $500 gift card)
- Nordstrom – 9,800+ new women's markdowns
- Rothy's – Ooh: limited edition T-strap flats / Mary Janes
- Spanx – Free shipping on everything
- Talbots – Semi-annual red door sale! 50% off all markdowns + extra 20% off already marked-down items
Has anyone ordered skin care from Korres? Currently looking for products for crepe-y skin on arms and brightening/lessening the appearance of old acne scars and darker pigmentation spots on face (50ish). I’ve had the drug store ones and can up my game (even if the fragrance is better or products are more luxe feeling). [It may be that lasers are the best way to go, but maintenance is going to be an ongoing thing as well.]
I’ve used it and I didn’t think it was very moisturizing. It felt like it sat on top and didn’t soak in. I’ve had good luck lately with Perricone products for the brightening (there’s a vitamin C product that I like).
I just started using the SkinCeuticals Vitamin C product about a month ago and I have been so, so pleased with it for texture and dark spots. I use Phloretin CF and Discoloration Defense.
Are these different from CE Ferulic? I tried that a few years back and it smelled awful so I never used it. I also want a vitamin C product but that one is the one my derm always recommends.
It’s different than CE Ferulic. I find that it smells a little better. I had to stop using the CE Ferulic because I couldn’t take the smell, but this one is more tolerable for me.
The Poems from the Lab vit C that someone on here recommended is AMAZING. The tube doesn’t allow air in and that helps keep it longer from getting that stinky smell the way the CE Ferulic gets. I also really like The Ordinary’s alpha arbutin for removing spots.
No, but I do have a suggestion. I haven’t had much luck with Vitamin C products, but have found niacinimide products helpful for dark spots.
If you have an older family member that you oversee care for (via a HCOA and HIPAA waiver), do you have anyone you talk with regularly about it? IDK if an eldercare health person makes sense here (and what to look for in a good one). Elder is newly local to me after living solo out of state and winding up in the ER (which spiraled since they didn’t think they needed to keep him medically but also didn’t think he could be safely discharged solo).
My concerns are:
— I have zero medical training (other than having to become a prompt expert in reading his MyChart and trying to make sense of it via Google); I could figure out pretty quickly that he wasn’t having a stroke but still have no idea what he actually had going on
— Elder didn’t get here via a stroke, so other things going on possibly (but what?)
— Have ruled out dementia via a neurologist (but he has suspected dementia in his chart from the hospital, but not from a neurologist), and I actually agree with that based on how he presents to me when not unexpectedly in a hospital ER
— Elder is mid-80s and otherwise has good vitals and nothing “seems wrong”; lives in assisted living that I think he only needs because of his recent past and because I think that having regularly cooked meals that he likes will keep him healthier for longer (he does not cook and should not subsist on shelf-stable food or frozen food; possibly he should not try cooking at this point in his life).
Hire someone to review all this who has a medical background? Many seem to have just a social work background. I feel like this is above my paygrade, but there is no one else in my family, so it’s going to be me and whatever help I can find.
I know you gave us a list of concerns, but I can’t see that any of them actually require anything to be done. He’s in a good living situation where his daily needs are cared for. Healthwise, his vitals are good, he doesn’t seem to have dementia. He had an incident at some point in the past that wasn’t a stroke.
Are you thinking there is something else you should actively be doing, and are concerned that you don’t know what it is?
OP here and the last sentence is where I am: so it wasn’t a stroke, but what was it? I lived a flight away when it happened (like near Labor Day when our airline or airport had some major outage + holiday volume and I wasn’t able to get there until he had been discharged to the most grim rehab facility on the planet, with no clothes, etc.). It was distressing to him and painful to watch, and not a stroke, for which I’m grateful, but what else could be going on that is fine and suddenly not and then fine again? And how do I figure it out and what should I do but watch, keep records, and wait? I majored in history . . .
Do you think all the millions of unpaid caregivers majored in Dementia in college? Seriously, there is no magical combination of classes and experts that is going to solve all your problems.
OK but it isn’t dementia in this case.
You don’t. Sorry I know it’s blunt but real life isn’t house, you don’t go backwards and figure it out. No one majored in any of this idk why you’re fixated on that. None of us get a guide to aging parents you just figure it out as you go
You don’t figure it out. To the extent it’s necessary for his treatment and wellbeing moving forward, his medical team will figure that out.
OP, what you’re leaving out is that the things that went so terribly last time are either solved or literally not in your control. He’s no longer a flight away in a different state, if something happened now you’d be there in minutes, he wouldn’t be discharged to a grim rehab facility but to his own assisted living center, etc. The rest—whether he has another incident and whether it happens on a major holiday—is the part that’s out of your ability to plan for.
(I’ve wondered for a while now, as you’ve been posting over the past few months, if it might be time to let some of the planning and paperwork rest, and let yourself “collapse” a little and process / feel all the grief and changes that you’ve been through in the past year. It’s been a lot.)
What do you actually need to do? He sounds safe in assisted living and like he has no pressing health concerns except Old. I would make sure you have a primary care for him local and the assisted living should be able to help
With that.
+1 The assisted living facility might even have some general PCP’s that call on their facility regularly in person. If he doesn’t have one, that might be a good option to ask about.
There are lists of conditions that mimic stroke and dementia in different ways. I only know the ones that have come up in my family and friend group so far (UTI, ocular myasthenia, B12 malabsorption deficiency, etc.). When I had a library that had access, I found UpToDate really helpful for outlining the steps of a differential diagnosis.
Wow — I thought that Up To Date was just for providers but there is a student rate. It is really that good? I would love to have this.
In this case, I would recommend not getting a subscription or spending time there. Instead, I’d recommend a hard hobby, like cycling or marathon running. It helps so much to stop rumination and deal with the stress of elder care. It helped me a ton.
When my parents were in assisted living, I hired an individual caregiver to do things like straighten up the place, put away his laundry (the facility would wash and dry but not put away) and generally be my eyes and ears on the ground. She charged like $16/hour (this was a few years ago) and it was about an hour a day, and it was the best money I spent. Especially as my dad got less competent and couldn’t use his phone any more, I could call or text her and talk to him on her phone. The staff at the facility recommended her — she worked for a lot of families there. And when he got sick, whe was the first to know and give a heads up. You might want to see if there is anybody like that where you family member is.
Also, there are insurance companies that take Medicare and specialize in people who are in assisted living. The doctors and nurses come to the facility for checkups and routine procedures. You don’t have to wait for open enrollment because being in assisted living is a qualifying event that lets you change providers mid-year. Again, you can ask the people at the facility if there is a provider they use.
Whenever you post about stuff like this, it’s like you think everyone else doing anything complicated is an expert in it and like there’s a class you have to pass first or a specialist you need to hire for a one-on-one brain dump session to explore every hypothetical. There isn’t. You just go through it and learn as you go, relying on friends, family, doctors, social workers, and other people to contribute. I’m sorry you’re in a stressful elder care situation, but obsessing about what you don’t know isn’t going to help in any way. Use the skills you have to help in the ways you can.
Also, it’s unhelpful to plan for 40 different hypotheticals – it’s a waste of time. Use your problem-solving skills as specific issues come up and don’t spend time in advance planning for Scenarios A-Z.
This. These kinds of posts always have a whiff of “save me, this mess isn’t something *I’m* supposed to be doing like those OTHER people with (fewer resources, less education, a lesser job, whatever)”. We all end up in these situations at some point and not because we want to be doing them. The system is broken and some of us have been shouting it from the rooftops for years. Welcome to our world.
No kidding. It’s above everybody’s pay grade, and yet somehow we are all expected to do it for nothing.
And usually in emergency circumstances with a lot of grief and fear and time pressure!
Not quite the same situation, but this might help expand your thinking. My mom has a life-limiting illness. It’s not “if” her disease progresses; it’s when and how quickly. One of my mom’s doctors encouraged her to think in very broad strokes about what she wants when her health declines, but not necessarily get too tied to specifics because the situation is too hard to predict. What she’s communicated with us is that she doesn’t want any heroics to save her life. To her, quality of life will trump quantity every time. Others with her condition have made the opposite choice. It’s a LOT of gray area, but again, it’s nearly impossible to predict exactly what she might need and how soon. Knowing that she doesn’t want much more medical intervention gives us a starting point for making the decisions that will inevitably come.
Your relative sounds like they’re in a relatively good place for their age. I don’t know if there’s anything that needs to be done, honestly.
I don’t think you need to do any additional medical research/review. I also don’t think it’s unusual that someone who is 80+ shouldn’t live independently regardless of their lack of medical diagnosis.
It may be worth talking to an eldercare attorney/planner just to guide you through the thought process of planning for this person’s care, but a few things stood out to me:
–You seem to think this person doesn’t need to be in assisted living. Assisted living does not provide that much additional care. If Elder were to leave assisted living, what would your backup plan be?
–Can Elder afford assisted living indefinitely? If not, you need to work on a plan to transition home or if needing a higher level of care, a plan to get him qualified medically and financially (Medicaid) for a nursing home.
— What are the assisted living facility’s standards for keeping Elder there? This depends on the state/facility. Like, do they need to be able to take medications independently and remain fully ambulatory or does the assisted living allow aging in place?
I do work in healthcare, but a lot if these questions come from personal experience caring for family members. Caring for the elderly is rough, but unfortunately most people go through this.
I didn’t use one as a caregiver, but some hospitals have gerontology education specialists that provide services or general health advice.
Honestly, the most important thing you can do isn’t medical. It’s to sit down with this person and talk about what they want in this next stage of their life. What matters to them – what matters a lot, what matters a little, what are they excited about, what are they afraid of? What does a good next several years look like?
Everything else flows from that; not the other way around.
Maybe finding out what *actually* happened is important to him and worth a lot of doctor’s appointments; maybe it isn’t
I just bought a black pleated midi satiny-fabric skirt from a Theory outlet and I love it but am struggling on how to style it for my business-casual-but-leaning-formal office. Any suggestions? So far it looks best with a simple white T-shirt tucked in, but that reads a little informal for my office.
Could you try it with a button down? White, cream, blush, or maybe even a brighter pink or tan colour?
what about a simple jewel neck shell in silk or satin, basically same silhouette as the tshirt you like but dressier?
Fitted cashmere or silk sweater?
Cropped cardigan, buttoned up; long-sleeved white t-shirt (with slightly upgraded details); sleeveless shell; potentially a tucked-in white button-down if you can manage not to show all the lumps
I think part of the difficulty is that the skirt itself doesn’t really fall into the dress code you described.
My husband is 5 years older than I am. We married late and had kids late. He is tired and wants to retire at 65. We should have kids in college then, but I’d just be 60 and expect to work until at least 65 (really to infinity and beyond, as women in my family live forever). He also comes from a line of men who, pre-statins, up and died very early, so he wants to retire on the dot and travel. I am OK with this, but likely can only travel on short trips and only when work permits, which he won’t like. I get that. I’ve thought about trying to revamp my job, into something that allows for real down time. I just don’t know people who have done any of this yet. I’m afraid of not having any source of income, even as an old person, and actually enjoy leaving the house and working (he is ground down; I am energized by work). Talk to me about what you have seen work and not work, since this stuff will be getting real and I have about 5 years of runway left (not really a financial question, but a “who am I” and what should I do question, especially since he’ll maybe have 5 years of solo retirement and many more where I want to work at least PT).
How much money do you have now? At some point, your “source of income” is supposed to be your savings, and the number in those accounts is the main thing that matters.
This is 95% a math problem, and you have not at all described the math.
Because for her seems like it isn’t. It’s a question about identify and fulfillment.
I feel like the math depends largely on how long I live. I had wanted to work until at least 70 and taking SS then and the only take RMDs from retirement savings to live off of. I had a parent suddenly die last year so now I am thinking of going to a step down job sooner vs later because nothing with health or longevity is a given. I think I could make 50K + health insurance until 80 and would do whatever I could find to give me fixed off times vs constantly on call now.
It would help if we knew what you do. For example, I’m an attorney and plan to “retire” young and travel leisurely and take on contract roles or contract reviews when I need income (assuming AI doesn’t do away with all of that). I know people who switched to consulting in their area and take on projects for a few months at a time and then travel in between projects.
The whole reason I want to retire young is so that I can travel and enjoy my life and not be tied to a desk or a 4-week off/year schedule. I would also want my husband to travel with me, so we’re on the same retirement plan even though he’s significantly younger than me and will therefore be retiring really young. On the flip side, would you be comfortable if your husband traveled without you? Maybe there’s trips you do together and things he can do by himself in the interim so that neither of you has to compromise too much.
My dad retired at 68 and my mom, now 75, is still working. It works because my dad’s vision for retirement was maybe 10% travel and 90% doing his hobby, which he treats almost like a job. If my dad were just sitting around waiting for my mom to free up so they could go do things together, it would be a disaster.
My mom works because it energizes her, she loves it, and she also is terrified of being without an income stream. So there’s a lot there.
It seems to me that you and your husband need to discuss different retirement and end-of-life scenarios. Does he fear dying young before he can enjoy life? Do you fear outliving your retirement savings? These are both legitimate fears and the only thing I have seen work is couples who talk about the what-ifs with each other.
I also would not discount the possibility that age discrimination and health problems will make the choice for you about when you retire. There’s a dramatic difference between 50 and 60.
I’m in a somewhat similar boat – my husband is 8 years older and planning to retire around 62, at the same time our son will be heading to college. But I’m not really worried about it as he is a homebody who loves doing home repair and cooking projects for fun, so I think he’ll keep busy. He’s also a teacher and currently off all summer every year, so I have a preview. In your case, it sounds like travel incompatibility is the main worry? Can you all actually afford to travel for a big chunk of every year? If not, it seems like this won’t be a big problem; he’ll just need to plan around your work schedule. Or do you have a job where you can’t ever go away for a week at a time? If so, I would change but just because that sounds miserable to me regardless of your spouse’s situation.
My mom retired 20 years after my dad did, but she went down to part time. That seemed to work for both of them.
Can he work part-time after his official retirement? Maybe it’s contract roles (6 months on, then he can take another 3 months off and then look for a new role) or actual part time.
That would give him opportunity to travel as well as ensure some income to help you when you’re 90.
My mom retired later but was also the travel person. My dad wouldn’t go with her, so she traveled alone. Why not just encourage him to spend a few years traveling solo some while you still work? Maybe he can focus on trips with groups or on an activity that he enjoys? I don’t know anyone who spends 100% of their time with their partner in retirement anyway.
By this point in your career, I’m assuming you’ve accrued enough vacation time that more frequent travel is a possibility. It sounds more like you don’t actually want to do that, though? I’m having a hard time parsing out whether this is a career question or a marriage one. Is he open to traveling with you sometimes, and either alone/with someone else the other times?
I hear that you want to keep working, and you can do that. But also, things could look very different when your husband is 70 and you’re 65, so I wouldn’t take the ability to travel for granted. I have known some people who scaled back a bit, but continued to work their regular jobs. Others quit their full-time gig and did more freelance/consultant work (though I don’t know how they made the insurance piece work).
OP here and I am currently self-employed (wasn’t always and I liked being an employee also) doing what I love. It gave me flexibility with young kids and over COVID. It pays well and I’ve been a good saver but the significant downside is that I’m on call forever. So I can easily take weekend trips or have a week at the beach and log in as needed. But I also can’t go dark for a week or two or not bring a computer or not stay too far off of east coast time. It’s not a huge issue except when dealing with a retired partner who doesn’t want to wait until 70 to travel.
My husband is older than me and retired years ago. I continue to work at a demanding job. If I am lucky, I can travel with him for two single week vacations plus the occasional extended weekend. I like my job, I like working and I am concerned about finances, although we are not in a bad place but women in my family live forever. I am absolutely fine with his solo travel and encourage him to go where he wants. He would probably prefer that I retire so I would be available more, but accepts that I like my setup and that we have a good life that works for both of us.
My husband and I are the same age, but he is a college professor who hopes to work until he drops dead or is incapacitated (I know there are no guarantees but likely 70+ based on family history) and I’m really hoping to quit my full-time job once our kids are through college when we’re 55. I’m hopeful that it will work well because 1) I’m a huge introvert who is content alone and won’t expect him to entertain me, 2) I like travel more than him but he does way more work travel than me, so I can tag along on his work trips after I retire and 3) I have a side gig that is currently not very lucrative but I hope to ramp up in retirement, which takes a lot of time and mental energy. I think it would be a disaster if he retired before me (he is super extroverted and would be like a golden retriever needing 24/7 attention from me) but thankfully that is not what either of us wants.
My folks are currently running through a similar friction. My mom works part-time and is energized by her work; my dad recently retired and is “chomping at the bit” to live abroad for a few months.
My dad doesn’t understand why my mom won’t drop everything and travel with him. He hasn’t built up community or hobbies over the years, while my mom has built a vibrant life she loves.
I sometimes wonder if he is envious of her job/community ties and wants to have 100% of my mom’s attention.
Champing at the bit. Not chomping.
Language changes and evolves
Agreed, especially for that phrase. Also, no one likes a pedant!
“chomping at the bit” has become widely accepted and is used interchangeably, particularly in American English. T
This seems a bit ungenerous. Your dad probably hasn’t had the time to build up community and hobbies because he’s been working full time. It’s a bit hard to be vibrant as the breadwinner.
I know people here complained about it, but I wish we had the +1 feature that the Moms site had. With the sea of Anons, it’s hard to tell how many people actually believe the more cuckoo stuff vs how prolific a few commenters are, and the +1 feature makes that clearer.
is it a feature? i thought people just typed “plus 1″… i have wondered how many people are here but my attempts to ask questions that would facilitate figuring it out and have been blocked. let’s see if this gets through.
Yeah, it’s a legit feature over there!
Yes there’s upvoting (but no downvoting) on the moms page.
I wouldn’t mind the ability to downvote either, but that’s more controversial.
It was added a few months ago but what we didn’t like is that it messed up the chronological nature of replies. If there was a way to do +1 but keep comments in ‘order’ I would be all for it!
I think this has now been fixed on the moms side?
I truly don’t understand why this page isn’t using the same format as the mom’s site, which I have found to be a vast improvement.
Yes, I love that feature on the moms board.
Yes I love that feature too. It also cuts down on the “+1”, “I agree” type comments, and makes threads easier to read.
+1 for this.
Much prefer chronology to upvotes, since chronology works a lot better for being able to engage in short breaks, as it makes it easy to see what is new.
Upvote works well for reading old reddit threads, though, when you don’t want to engage and the discussion is already over.
The moms page still keeps chronological commenting order now.
Elder care question. My mom (age 75) has some nerve damage from a back injury which causes numbness in her foot, and in turn causes her to trip or be unsteady on her feet. Has anyone ever dealt with this or something similar? I am trying to figure out what we need to do to support her to minimize fall risk and otherwise keep her mobile and intact for as long as humanly possible. She’s very healthy in many ways, but I’m worried that this mobility issue will lead to a fall and then she’ll break a hip and it will all spiral down. Is this time for a cane?
It’s time for a walker.
I feel that they are both good for different tasks. Has your mom done PT and OT? Those people can be very helpful in trying things out and practicing with a knowledgeable observer.
It’s definitely time for a mobility aid and also maybe for some physical therapy and/or occupational therapy to work on her balance.
no suggestions, but can i just say aging s*cks. yes some people are living their best lives in their 70s and 80s, but i wish we could just all stay healthy and mobile and drop dead at 85 or something
A cane or mobility aid is a decision between her, her doctor or PT. The wrong aid can be a detriment. Her doc or PT may be able to prescribe a balance class, or fall prevention strategies (throw rugs are the devil!). She is a competent adult and it’s ultimately up to her how she lives her life.
Throw rugs are the devil. Grippy socks vs regular socks may be her friend. How is her bathroom set up, especially for bathing?
I have nerve damage to my back that results in numbness in my foot – at 50 I get 26 sessions of PT for it every year, so 13 weeks/year. As I get older, we are giving up on me ever having a normal gait again and moving on to strengthening all of the little stabilizing muscles in my lower body. All that to say I’d start with PT. But also, I always use poles when I’m hiking, and I can see using those more when I’m walking as I get older, so that may be another option that might be less fraught than a cane for your mom.
She should talk to her doctor. She can do PT to improve balance, and they can also probably give suggestions for walkers or canes and anything else that might help with the condition. And obviously she should make sure her home (and yours, if she visits often) is free of trip hazards and has good railings and grab bars. Ideally she would minimize stairs, at least when carrying things like laundry that might throw off her balance and make it harder to catch herself if she does trip.
Tagging on to this, occupational therapists can assess and recommend modifications to her house, etc, like grab bars for instance.
Also– if your mom lives independently, please either get her to keep a phone on her or to get one of those fall buttons.
Or an apple watch. My sibs and I got one for my mom for this reason.
+1 – after another nighttime fall we finally got my 78-yr old mom to wear an apple watch. Those are ‘cool’ and have other interesting features and aren’t an ‘old lady’ thing.
I wouldn’t suggest a walker. You could suggest a cane, but we found hiking poles to be a more palatable solution. They are also easy to travel with as well. She also may need more supportive shoes.
+ 10000000 for PT
When she’s unsteady, if being able to look down and actually see her feet/shoes helps (common with nerve damage; people’s brains are good at using that visual input about where their foot is relative to the ground to compensate for the lack of info coming up from the foot), those little motion sensor lights are clutch for hallways, stairways, the path to the bathroom at night, etc. You can get cheap USB-rechargeable stick on ones or ones that plug into a regular outlet from Amazon
Any favorite dairy free chocolate desserts? I made a chocolate ganache tart with an oreo cookie crust (oreos are vegan) with coconut milk subbed for the cream and dairy free chocolate chips and it was pretty good but a lot of work. Hoping for something easier but still rich and chocolately. This is for a potluck on a 90 degree day so unfortunately no gelato/sorbet or things like that.
If your local Whole Foods carries it, the Rubicon vegan chocolate cake is very good.
We don’t have Whole Foods here!
Brownies? I feel like most things work if you sub in earth balance/margarine for butter and pretty much any alternative for a milk like almond milk or ripple.
You could do a could make these with vegan margarine –
https://smittenkitchen.com/2010/01/best-cocoa-brownies/
Or basically any brownie recipe if you use dairy-free chocolate or cocoa, and oil or vegan margerine.
Or you could try something like this – again, would need dairy-free chocolate for the glaze – https://smittenkitchen.com/2017/10/chocolate-olive-oil-cake/
I haven’t made this exact recipe, but I’ve made several similar ones, and they’ve all been easy and good.
I can confirm that this cake is delicious. I made it as the vegan/DF option for a birthday party, alongside a conventional cake, and it was devoured immediately by all the guests, clamoring for more.
Another excellent DF chocolate cake is this one, which was recently featured in the NYTimes as the cake that converted the journalist to veganism:
https://www.noracooks.com/vegan-chocolate-cake/
https://www.thespruceeats.com/ultimate-pareve-chocolate-cake-2121784
Chocolate pudding mix made with soy or almond milk (use about half the amount of milk the box calls for). Put it in a store bought graham cracker crust or oreo crust.
Cake? Sub in oil or applesauce for the butter and it’s dairy free. Same with banana bread with copious amounts of chocolate chips (choose dairy free ones).
You could simply dip pretzel rods in chocolate (and leave some plain, do sprinkles on some; add mini-chocolate chips, etc.). Easy to make, transport, and grab at a potluck.
Flourless chocolate olive oil cake is another idea.
Avocado chocolate pudding is very good
https://www.makingthymeforhealth.com/easy-superfood-chocolate-pudding/
There’s so much talk about inequality with domestic labor in straight marriage. Do the women try talking to their husbands to help out and the husbands just ignore them and keep doing nothing? How does this happen?
have you never talked to any women ever in real life
Lol
Some men really think they do 50% at home because they take the trash out, mow the lawn once a week, lift heavy things periodically, and spend twelve hours per year working on the car. Or that they do enough because it’s more than their own father did. Or believe that the women in their lives have unreasonably high cleanliness standards that they don’t feel need to be met. So any discussion about how they aren’t doing enough doesn’t go anywhere.
Here is the cliff notes version; What happens is women care more than men about a lot of house/kid stuff. They try to get husband to help but then they don’t. Because they care more, they do more. Also many are conditioned to do more because that’s what they saw their moms do.
Some women are better at setting boundaries, picking the right husband, had better examples from their own family, so they deal with less inequality than others
Just putting this out there anonymously because I’m keeping it close to my chest in real life: I went on my first, first date in almost 35 years this weekend and it was really great! We were introduced by a mutual friend and I’m excited to see where this goes!
Oh, hooray! Please update periodically!
Yay!!
Please post updates!