Suit of the Week: House of CB
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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Also: we just updated our big roundup for the best women's suits of 2025!
Here's a new-to-me brand that is worth mentioning if you like ultra-feminine, fitted clothes: House of CB. This pretty cream suit is slightly reminiscent of some of the more feminine options we've posted from Hobbs and LK Bennett, so it isn't surprising that House of CB is also a UK-based brand (now carried by Nordstrom).
The suit isn't for everyone, of course, but if this is your style the brand is a good one to know about if you don't already. (They've been around for 15 years!)
Nordstrom has a lot of the brand's collection but the “workwear” offerings are a bit limited — there are lots and lots of dresses that remind me of something Sophia Loren would have worn in the 1950s, as well as some cute loungewear a bit reminiscent of Good American/SKIMS. The brand's website has more extensive workwear offerings (which is also where you can find the matching skirt for the blazer).
The blazer is $225 at Nordstrom and House of CB, available in sizes XS-XL.
(Not a suit but: love this unusual cardigan from the brand!)
In general (as of 2025), brands that specialize in suits with a ladylike vibe (for lack of a better word) include Hobbs, LK Bennett, and The Fold London — Amazon seller Marycrafts also has some great (super affordable!) ladylike suits.
Sales of note for 6/18/25:
- Nordstrom – Designer clearance up to 60% off
- Ann Taylor – $99 dresses + 40% off summer must-haves + extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new womenswear styles with code
- Eloquii – $19 & up select styles + up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off almost everything (ends 6/23) + extra 50% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 60% off clearance + extra 20% off $100+ + extra 25% off $125
- M.M.LaFleur – Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Free shipping on everything
- Talbots – $29+ summer shirts + $29.99 all markdown sweaters + extra 30% off other markdowns
I used to wear suits like this, but with the jacket always buttoned and just a shell underneath to save on how often the outfit needed to go to the cleaners. I think it was a bit like Kyra Sedgewick’s character on The Closer? I also used to wear vests-as-shirts.
Maybe a long shot, but has anyone used Bankrate to find their mortgage broker? We have been working with a local company and our contact there is great to work with, super responsive….but I did some rate shopping via Bankrate and found Mutual of Omaha offering us a 6.25% rate (vs 6.625% at our current broker). It seems reputable, but my husband is hesitant to make the switch and feels like there’s got to be a catch. Has anyone done something similar or have any experience with Mutual of Omaha? Or any red flags to look out for?
You could try asking your broker if they can match that. But unless you’ve actually submitted paperwork and gotten a real interest rate offer from this other place, I wouldn’t trust that their quote is anything other than a marketing ploy.
Sorry to threadjack here, but this question highlighted for me that I’m often confused when people talk about mortgage brokers. OP talks about using Bankrate to find a broker but it really seems like she found a lender (i.e. Mutual of Omaha) and Bankrate acted more or less as the broker. Am I just being dense about what words mean in this context?
Ding ding ding. I’m a commercial mortgage broker who shakes her head at the resi mortgage broker market a lottttt.
Are you certain you have a mortgage broker vs a mortgage lender? Brokers take the deal to several lenders and present you with the best option. Some brokers are restricted (or just lazy) and only go to 2-3 lenders for pricing, but a good broker will survey the market widely. Mortgage lenders (aka originators) often don’t hold the mortgage and sell it after you close, which is totally normal and not nefarious. But I’ve had friends try to convince me their lender was a broker because they weren’t called So-and-So Bank (or Credit Union).
Thank you! I’ll take advantage of your presence here to ask whether you have any tips for finding a residential mortgage broker. We recently tried to do so and had absolutely zero luck on Google–super difficult to figure out who’s actually a broker versus who’s an originator with a non-bank name but people are referring to them (sometimes maybe they’re even referring to themselves) as brokers–and eventually gave up. We also found some companies that (it seemed to me) did both broker work and their own loan origination. Is that common in either the residential or commercial market?
I emailed MofO to see what their real rate for me would be, and someone answered pretty promptly. I gave them our home’s value, mortgage balance, estimated credit scores, etc., but not my phone number or exact address. They gave me the same array of options that I was able to get from my local credit union, which ranged, depending on how many points I wanted to pay, from 5.625% (with 0 points) to 4.875 with 1% in points. This was for a 10-year fixed with about a 50% LTV. MofO felt legit to me. The response I received was detailed and complete. We are going with the credit union, though.
just a warning that if you give ANY of these places your email/number you are going to be spammed and cold-called relentlessly. when we redid our mortgage in 2021 i think we just went back to the guy we’d used before at wells fargo, they’re all pretty competitive. Check with wherever you’ve banked the longest.
I am childfree, but happily married with two dogs in my early 40s. I’ve worked very hard (and had privilege and luck) over the course of my career to get to the very senior role I’m in now.
One of my very close friends told me over the weekend that my success was unfair and maybe even unearned, because I didn’t have to worry about balancing my career with raising children and could work long hours and travel all the time. And that somehow women like me are undermining moms in the workplace … just by existing and succeeding, I guess?
I want to believe these are the words of a woman frustrated with where she is right now in her career and life and blowing off steam and that it’s not personal. But also, I still felt hurt by it. I don’t know. Do working moms actually feel this way about their childfree women colleagues?
Nope. Your “friend” is being rude.
Yeah I wouldn’t continue a friendship with someone like this.
1) your friends should celebrate you, not try to cut you down to make themselves feel better
2) the victim mentality and mommy martyrdom is exhausting to deal with. And I say this as a mom who has had a very successful career.
Yeah there is definitely this sentiment I’ve found especially amongst women who had unplanned kids and for whatever reason decided to keep them.
My sister. It’s always someone else’s fault with her.
Same.
+1
I have two kids and don’t feel that way. Your friend is being rude, although I agree with you that’s is probably coming from a place of frustration with her own life.
Same.
I feel like my old BigLaw firm never acknowledged the elephant in the room in any of its women’s events. It was all done as if kids weren’t the hill that women’s careers die on. As if the struggle was just being a woman. IMO, the struggle may be 10% just being a woman (in law at least), especially if you are <40, where you are viewed as likely to leave if you have kids. But once you have kids, the juggle is 90% of the struggle. If women had kids the way successful career men had kids, they'd realize that they'd have more career success the more they outsourced (generally). It's hard to be very successful if you are always leaning out.
Does the friend think that men with no kids or SAH wives also didn't earn their success? Seems very unfair to single out a friend who is female for something I guess she'd never say to a guy with no kids or a SAH wife.
I think men with SAH wives definitely had support achieving their success.
hear hear
I don’t disagree, but nobody says that. We’re just punching down on women.
We all make choices. What I don’t get is choosing one thing and then fussing about people who made different choices.
Men with SAHM wives are so much worse, in my experience. Childfree people of both genders know they don’t get the struggles of working parenthood. But men with SAHM wives *think* they know what working parenthood is like when in reality they have a wife shouldering 95-100% of the labor and their expectations about what a working parent should be able to do really hurt working moms and dads who pull their weight.
It should t be this way but often I have found this to be true.
Wow, I’m so sorry your friend said that to you! I think that would be potentially friendship ending for me.
Nope. It does seem easier to really rock a career if you’re not balancing it with kids, but people make different choices for their own reasons, not because they’re trying to one-up me at work. The deck is stacked against working moms in some ways, but we all knew that going in. I’m sure it varies quite a bit by industry, but I don’t actually have many childfree women colleagues in leadership positions, most of them are moms.
Nope. Your very kind and generous thinking about her frustration is likely right. This belief is not widespread or ok.
I would never say this to a non-mom in real life, but as a working mom I feel that the expectations of me are higher than the expectations of women without children or of men. I constantly have to prove that I am dedicated to the job and willing to make whatever sacrifice is asked of me, in a way that non-moms do not. For example, I had a childless male senior colleague who would routinely take long lunches, come in late, or take half-days off without claiming PTO to ride his mountain bike. Management did not bat an eye at this behavior, but I was expected to be in the office early, eat lunch at my desk, stay after business hours ended, and be available for heavy travel. On the rare occasions when I left early or took time off for any reason, always charging the time to PTO, the dude would comment “must be nice to have kids so you don’t have to work.”
Were you expected to do all of those things, or did you just expect it of yourself?
+100000
Yeah, this is just making up rules that only apply to you.
That’s a management issue, not a working moms issue. The system is not designed well for working parents, and it does affect women more than men. But dude gets to ride his mountain bike while mom gets chastised for going to deal with a sick child is a specific brand of nonsense.
In contrast, my lived experience is that my workplace is overly accommodating of parents. I’ve covered two 6-month maternity leaves for colleagues, and I was not given a promotion, additional bonus, or higher rating on my performance review.
We have very generous benefits for fertility treatments, which I will never use. I don’t get reimbursed or equivalent cash value for those benefits, even though my colleagues who use them receive access to an additional $50k of value.
We give 6 months of fully-paid leave to both men and women. I’ve had colleagues take 2-3 maternity leaves in a 6-year period. If I want to take leave longer than 2-3 weeks, I’ll have to take it unpaid, and depending on the length, might lose my vesting, have my bonus pro-rated, etc.
I think it’s great that my company is so supportive of people getting pregnant, having kids, etc. But that’s a massive amount of time and money that I don’t get access to because I’m childfree, and in at least two instances, I’ve had more work and no recognition because of my colleagues’ choice to have kids.
The unfairness can go both ways, depending on the workplace, but that’s not something we should be putting on an individual, it’s a systemic issue. The OP’s friend is rude and wrong.
+1 my work place has a full year of maternity leave which can be used continually if you return for 6 months between leaves. I certainly have feelings about that and how I’ll never get years of paid time off.
Maternity leave is definitely not time off. Maybe a year is, but the standard 12 weeks is not. It’s like the 12 weeks you’d get off for debilitating major surgery–it would be much easier not to have had the disabling event and to keep working.
The fertility benefits are offered to encourage people to delay childbearing for the benefit of the employer.
Taking care of a baby for a year is a lot easier than our job, I was a nanny in a prior life.
I try not to think about it too much, because I get really salty if I do. On balance, I think it’s good for parents to spend the early months bonding with their kids, healing from major bodily trauma, setting up routines, etc. Society is better off in the long-run when parents have the time to bond with their children and the headspace to focus on raising them.
But it’s still a life choice, and it still impacts the business and your coworkers. And it’s irksome that my life choices are never paid for by the business or covered by my colleagues. I’d even settle for exchanging the fertility benefits for 3 months of paid time off (even though I make more in salary in that time period) or a dedicated 3 months off every 4 years (again, some people take 6+ months off for parental leave in that amount of time, with zero penalties, so it’s still not equivalent).
It’s not time off. Good grief.
It’s like time off for jury duty or military obligations. Part of being in society where we need things but bear the burden unequally.
If you think about how people have STD leave and maybe LTD leave and time off for heart attacks, this is similar, no? People have time off but it’s not to go to the spa.
Also: talent drain is talent drain and businesses are right to avoid it for people they want to keep.
Eh I dunno, I didn’t have a particularly easy delivery, but after the first couple of weeks I was 95% physically healed had a lot of free time. Newborn babies sleep a ton (like 18-20 hours a day) so you have a *lot* of time left over after getting the sleep you need yourself. I read 100 books and watched a ton of TV on my 12 week mat leave, also spent a lot of time hanging out with friends and did some house projects. I obviously didn’t have a baby just to get time off and would kind of resent it being described as a “vacation” because I was the primary caregiver for a human, but for me mat leave was MUCH easier than working, and I don’t have a very demanding job. I can imagine it would really feel like a break coming from big law.
OP here, and this same friend once said of some women we know who work at the same firm that it was unfair that A got promoted one year and B did not, despite the fact that B was out on parental leave for 7 months that year, while A did her own job and B’s job for no extra compensation. That B should have been promoted also, because the work she was doing in ensuring the future of society (birthing and raising her child) was also crucial. I’m a HUGE believer in generous paid parental leave, but come ON.
Sorry but your friend just absolutely sucks.
Future of an overpopulated society? 🤣
I mean, I don’t think maternity leave should count against someone for promotion purposes. Not because they’re doing such good things for society, but because promotion – particularly in a law firm – doesn’t depend on just those few months. It takes 10 years in most places to make partner now. For equity partner, it’s largely about your book. What you were doing or not doing in a particular 6 month window is kind of irrelevant to longterm promotion decisions like that.
OP’s friend is totally rude and wrong. People do make different choices. I chose to have kids and am happy that I did, but most workplaces don’t have such generous maternity leaves, and while I can only speak to my own experience, it was not at all the same as taking 3 months off to focus on myself. i had a traumatic delivery with a lot of blood loss requiring a blood transfusion. i had twins, with one in the nicu. DH had one week off. i had terrible PPD/PPA and spent most of my leave crying or trying not to cry while solo parenting two babies. We lived in a hot climate and our pediatrician told me not to take my kids outside for a walk. it was honestly the worst 3 months of my life. i love being a mom (now), but i still have some serious trauma from the experience.
It can be done – balancing life and a career – but you need a partner who is an equal parent. And I mean equal.
My husband did at least 50% of the kid stuff, sometimes more, because he’s an evolved dude, and also because my career had more upward mobility than his.
I’m so tired of the assumption – not just by men, but too frequently by women – that working moms can’t “have it all” because they’re assuming 90% of kid stuff is mom’s sole responsibility. DO NOT have children with someone who thinks that way!
Not at all.
What an ugly thing to say. I think I’d be taking a step back to give the friendship a little breathing room.
OMG. That’s ridiculous. Hurt people hurt people.
I think your friend is wrong and is channeling her frustration unhelpfully.
It really stinks that working long hours is required to get ahead or even just stay in many fields in the US. There are very successful organizations outside the US that manage with much shorter working hours. The long hours requirement makes it difficult for parents (especially mothers) to get to more senior roles. I’d even argue that organizations are losing out on some great senior leaders by having paths that require long hours at every step of the way.
However, none of the reasons against requiring long hours means that your success is unfair or unearned or undermines other women. If you discriminate against parents, needlessly require long hours from your subordinates or service providers (looking at you, clients who make urgent demands and then sit on what they demanded for weeks), then you’d be part of the problem. But just being successful? Good for you.
Yes some people think this way. Usually it’s the same people who think you don’t deserve your paycheck because you make more than them and it’s not fair. Or your job is so easy because you just sit at a desk in AC all day. And it’s perfectly fair and reasonable for biglaw partners to expect me to work round the clock multiple days in a row and bill 300+ hours/mo multiple months in a row because “you’re getting paid as much as 3 people, you should work as much as 3 people.”
Some people are determined to win the misery Olympics. They have it worse than everyone and so they deserve better than everyone. And anyone who gets more than they do with less misery doesn’t deserve what they have.
My jaw is on the floor. As a person just like you, that comment would be friendship ending. I do not say that lightly as I have exactly zero friends I’ve ever ended a friendship with. I am stunned that she’d think that let alone say it. You don’t need someone that unsupportive in your life.
kind of agree. was she drunk when she said it? is she one of those people who thinks that everything is unfair if it doesn’t exactly fall her way?
Yeah, I’m a working mom and I feel like this does not bode well for your friendship. She seems angry and resentful, and that’s not okay.
Exact same situation here as well, and I’m 100% with all of this. It’s so blatantly disrespectful and judgmental.
Yup, have definitely gotten this kind of comment from moms before. Usually packaged as some version of “well, you can work like the men and that sets the expectation that all the women will work like the men”. That said I spent a lot of my career at a firm where almost every woman left after maternity leave for kid #2 and almost every man had a SAH wife.
Yes! This exactly! I should have asked her if she wanted me to just refuse to finish assignments/meet tight deadlines or go on business trips, because if women with kids can’t do it, then I shouldn’t either.
that is so wildly rude of your friend, I’m sorry. she’s out of her mind if she thinks there aren’t tradeoffs to motherhood that yes, you should choose with eyes wide open. (i say this as a mom to 2 kids under 15.)
she isn’t wrong that there should be better work life balance in general, but again that’s a tradeoff that you’re (hopefully) making in return for more money and seniority.
I have 3 young kids and do not agree with this at all. I’m sorry your friend said that – it is hurtful and untrue.
Same. I have five kids and have been pretty significantly mommy-tracked and I think this take is absolutely bonkers. We have all choices and choices have consequences. This friend is awful and probably insecure and regretful and taking it out on the OP.
Did you take full year mat leaves or the extended 18 month ones?
That’s really hurtful. I’d be furious, and probably drop the friendship. I agree it’s more about her than about you.
I will say this kind of undermining doesn’t just get directed to childfree women. I’m in a situation where a colleague about 10 years older than me seems to resent that I’ve leaned into my career after having baby, whereas she chose to lean out, took some time off/working part time, and is now trying to lean in again. We made different choices and our careers are diverging accordingly. Neither of us is right or wrong – but for whatever reason it’s clear she wants me to have the same struggles she did. Like you, I’ve concluded this is more about her than me and I’m trying to ignore it, but it’s tough.
Your friend is dumping on you. I have literally never in my life thought that women at work without children were impeding my success and Ive never heard a colleague say anything like that either. And I’ve been working 40 plus years.
lol I do not feel that way at all. I know moms who are at the top – good for them, not for me. I prioritize working as little as possible and yeah, I’d rather be with my kids, but I chose to have them and be this way. She sounds like she needs a nap.
I’m sure some women think that way, but I don’t think badly of my childfree colleagues. Some people get married and have kids, some people don’t do one or both, and it’s just the way their lives worked out. FWIW, I love my kids and am happy that I had kids, but I was never someone who felt like they HAD to have kids or get married.
Succeeding in the workplace isn’t about merit, many times, it’s about luck and opportunity and reminding some old guy of himself just 20 years younger. Which sucks, but that’s the world. The only way out is through.
That’s incredibly shitty and no, the working moms I know do not at all feel this way about their childfree colleagues.
That’s totally about your friend and nothing with you.
People looking to play a martyr or who are jealous of others’ success can always find any excuse. The flipside might sound like: “I always have to work holidays, attend our annual conference, travel for client meetings, etc. while my mom colleagues never have to without penalty,” “I’m always covering for someone else’s maternity leave, and when is my couple of months out of this grind,” etc.
Or the old “I could write a book, too, if….” Or “I could have been a (doctor, lawyer, all-star athlete, etc)., if X, etc. etc..”–the reality is that could and actually do, as in put in the hard work and luck to make those goals materialize, are two different things.
Frankly, people who can’t be happy for others’ successes are usually among the first groups I tend to distance myself from when deciding on friends. The constant need to prop up someone else’s ego or be a target in fits of jealousy like this is usually too high a price of admission for the friendship.
Okay, but your examples in the first paragraph are not about jealousy at all. They are about how childfree women are often asked to carry a disproportionate load for their coworkers with children. I’m not jealous of your children — there’s a reason I chose not to have them! — but I am tired of having to do two jobs for the pay and recognition of one. And not playing a martyr, either. This is not something I want to do, but I need a job, so here we are.
Ugh that’s horrible. As a mother who worked full time in a senior role until recently, might your friend be absolutely exhausted and angry at the world after what has been a horrendous few years? Kids were sent home for their parents to home school them for ages, and extra curricular activities were restricted, and honestly I’m not sure many primary caregivers ever recovered from that. My kids took a good while to catch up on basic life skills like swimming, never mind socialisation, and work was more intense if anything.
I’d cut her some slack and maybe check in when she’s less exhausted…or cool the friendship until her kids are older?
So she’s supposed to deal with these pointed nasty comments from her friend that BLAME HER for the friend’s lack of success, and just accept it because her friend is exhausted? Sorry but my friends and I hold each other accountable, and I wouldn’t be inclined to allow someone to be an a$sh0le to me just because a choice she willingly made turned out to be hard.
Nah, this is not it. This was a really egregious thing to say to a close friend.
Personally I’d have no room in my life for someone who begrudges my success.
Commenter here…I agree the “friend”’s comment was rude so would fade the friendship for now, however I truly think people say horrible things when they’re utterly exhausted. If she’s working and parenting, and very sleep deprived, she’s not unlikely to also be on meds, and honestly I still think it might not be that she’s an a$$hole, so as I said, fade until her kids are older, and then you’ll know if she’s a friend. I’m assuming she was at some point pleasant, and that there are redeeming features…obviously if someone who was an acquaintance said that stuff, I’d not become friends, but this is someone who’s already a friend.
Note: I’m European and I think it might be a cultural difference that we are more tolerant? I’ve heard Americans say things like you’re the average of your closest friends etc which just sounds so weird to me and others in my home country.
My guess is that your friend is in a bad place – married with kiddo and I celebrate other successful women regardless of their marital/parental status.
+1 This leads with empathy.
Yeah, it’s definitely a thing. DINK, the most successful woman, not invited to internal panels on how to succeed as a woman at the firm. Apparently I don’t know a thing.
I love two of my college friends dearly, but we have almost nothing in common except our shared college experience, and lately I’ve been struggling with it. They’re both SAHMs in fancy suburbs with high-earning husbands and I’m single and childless in the city. Our text threads mainly revolve around their children — their activities, their accomplishments, etc. They are very invested in their children’s lives, but sometimes it feels like they don’t have anything of their own… they never share how THEY are doing. It’s always about their husband’s job or their kid’s new ballet class or whatever. So the conversations always feel a little distanced as a result (at least, to me). I’ve tried asking, “how are YOU?” and the response always comes as an answer about the kids or the family as a whole.
I don’t have kids of my own to share (obviously), but then when I do want to share one of my own updates, like a cool work project or hobby or trip or whatever, it feels awkward and out of place. But if I don’t share those things, then the friendship isn’t really based on anything…
I guess I know the answer is to just share my news — that it’s my version of the “kid update,” right?
Sounds like you are learning that some college friendships slow fade. If they aren’t interested in hearing about your life updates, and you aren’t interested in their “version”, then it sounds like you don’t have much in common anymore. And that’s ok. That’s normal.
Find some new friends!
+1
I think a lot of women are like this when they have kids. I’ve really struggled to make and keep mom friends because I just don’t want to talk about my daughter all the time. She’s great, she’s a huge focus of my life, but I have other stuff going on too. The few SAHMs in my circle don’t seem to have anything to talk about besides their kids and even some of the working moms only want to talk about their kids or how they hate their jobs. Idk, it gets boring. What about clothing, travel, politics, your latest gym workout, anything other than potty training?
i would completely stop replying to anything about their kids or mom duties – that maybe would encourage them to take it to a thread to just the 2 of them instead of a group chat.
give it a few years, when you guys hit your mid 40s there will be lots to talk about between invisibility and perimenopause. plus i finally felt like a person again when my youngest was around 8.
Just coming to say that cuz never sati n in your 50s doesn’t have to be about it invisibility and perimenopause. I’m not saying those things do not come up with some of my friends, but they are a minor part of our dialogue overall.
*conversation
So above I said end the friendship but here, this is just normal and you should share your news, hobbies, etc. They’re sharing what’s taking up their brainspace (husbands, kids) so I’d reframe it from not sharing what’s going on with them. They are telling you that! Share your life even if it looks different, that’s the fun of having friends.
Yes, this. Share what’s going on with you. They’re sharing what’s going on with them. I have to say I find the “but what about YOU” question to be judgy.
Agreed with this take. I’m in my late 30s, married but no kids, career. My best friend is a SAHM, another close friend has a career that she established and now is mom of a much younger kid, so our group texts are all over the place.
Also 100% share your news!! sometimes I have to give my SAHM best friend long explanations, but she love listening because it’s so different from her day to day.
One of my favorite versions of our texts though are where we’re just sending each other screenshots or links to stuff we’re thinking about buying, or we think is weird, or whatever and then we either try and talk each other in or out of it. It’s that kind of little friendship stuff that really has nothing to do with the kids… try “guys. I need you to tell me if this is ugly or if I need it” and then send a link to sneaker high heels. We have little interactions like that interspersed throughout the week. Perhaps that’s not what you’re looking for, but for me that feels much more like friendship to me than event reports.
You need some other friends. Not instead of these friends but in addition to them. You need at least a couple of friends who are more or less on the same life track as you. But I wouldn’t burn my bridges with the college friends – just keep it a lighter friendship for now. This happened to me, especially with one friend who dove so deep into motherhood that there was no air in the room for anything or anyone else, ever. Well guess what – her children grew up and she has breathing room for her non-Mommy-based friends again, and I am finding it wonderful to have her back in my life.
From this morning’s dog thread: Is this The Rest is History? (I love those guys!)
Two close friends recently have asked me if I’ve been having hip issues, I guess because my gait has somehow changed? I’m not in any pain (and nothing seems unusual for me). Is this something I should get checked out and if so, who would I go to? I’ve not had great luck with chiropractors in the past so that’s not really on my list.
If two people asked I would get it checked out but maybe non urgently. I wouldn’t do chiro. Ask your pcp and or look at an orthopedist. I have a weird hip and they looked at my gait, examined me and did X-rays. I ended up with PT to just get and hold things in the right place.
PCP and/or physical therapist.
I don’t want to prompt any freakouts or paranoia, but gait changes can arise in Parkinson’s. Everything about Parkinson’s is extremely variable and individual, but I am just…putting that out there.
i’ve had gait changes also but i definitely feel like i have hip pain.
gait can be a big deal because once you fall you are more likely to fall again, and as we get older the bones get more brittle yada yada yada. definitely see your PCP or if you’ve worked with a PT in the past that you like go to them. no chiro.
chiropractors are not doctors so that is most certainly not who i’d go see. if two people commented on this i might start with your pcp. maybe try an orthopedist
PCP is where you start.
Make an appointment with a physical therapist for an evaluation. Easy.
This is the very definition of a first world problem and I can’t share it with anyone in real life without sounding like a privileged a-hole, so asking here. But is anyone starting to feel a bit jaded/burned out on travel? I’ve seen a lot of the world and frankly find it really hard to be impressed these days. My last few international trips have been fine, not bad, nothing went wrong but everything was just kind of meh and I feel like I’ve lost the spark for travel. I have always loved travel and it’s been such a big part of my life but I feel like I’ve sort of been through my whole bucket list and when I visit the places that aren’t as touristy or popular I find they’re usually not popular for a reason. I’m not sure what the solution is here – travel less? Travel better? How? Just do repeat trips to the places I loved most and live like a local?
maybe switch the type of travel — think more yoga/wellness retreats, or base your trips around a hobby like flower gardening or something. the wellness retreats in particular will make you feel poor again quickly :)
Yeah, I’m over postcard travel but am into trips that are more aligned with my interests, like taking a week to tour antiques markets with a guide in France or go take a cooking class in Italy in the countryside, that kind of thing. I haven’t done them yet, but that’s on my list and fortunately my husband is into a lot the same things too.
I found travel a lot more enriching and inspiring when I began centering it around connection and interests. For example, I travel to a meetup of artists each summer, and I try to attend conferences in locations I’m already interested in and then add on a few days in the location before or after to hang out with friends/attendees. This helps the trip have more of a purpose and a central hub, and it also takes the pressure off of the trip to be amazing in and of itself.
what kind of trips have you taken? what did you use to like about travel and what do you not like about it anymore? when i was younger i totally had the travel bug and wanted to go and see and do as much as i could in 48 hours. now that i’m older (and more tired) i’ve realized i prefer trips that are a combo of touring/activity/relaxation. it’s also ok if you don’t like travel as much anymore and prefer to spend more time at home or doing things more locally. there is no rule that you have to travel if you arent enjoying it anymore
I feel this way too but mine is anxiety related. I travel for work and the approach trained into me was ‘expect something to go wrong, plan for contingencies, and plan for contingencies for those contingencies’ and I am solely responsible for the failure/success of the trip. I cannot turn my brain off of operating this way when I travel for ‘fun’ which is SO exhausting.
The best solution I have is slowing down a lot. Driving trips are more relaxing for me than flying, and I take trains over planes if possible. If going international I try to go deep vs. trying to make multiple stops. The most enjoyable trips I’ve had are repeat visits to places so I get to know them better or when I’m gone for longer so I can get into the rythms of local life.
I can definitely empathize. Partially, different tastes mean that you might not get the same enjoyment out of things as the next person. I think a very big thing is how social media skew expectations (optimizing for cool pictures when the in person experience may be less exciting, huge overemphasis on novelty/being off the beaten path etc which creates a feeling of exclusiveness). Sometimes a place is hyper popular because it appeals to many many people consistently.
There is also definitely a saturation factor – I’ve been lucky to see so many places that 1-2 generations ago would have been lifetime opportunities. So yeah, I’ll compare when otherwise I would have just appreciated what’s in front of me.
Personally for me, the solution is nature. I can get mesmerized by a good forest even if I’ve seen it plenty of times before.
Am assuming that the jadedness/lack of interest is not in other areas of your life as well (b/c that would be worth thinking through separately). Agree with the posters who say to go do something you love in a place you love. Doing the thing you love is the focus, rather than just simply taking a trip. Plus, you might meet cool people/make new friends – always a bonus in life. Hope the blahness lifts for you soon!
I’ve switched to getting to know places within a not too long drive or train ride of where I live (Bay Area). There are so many wonderful places and it’s much less time, money, and stress and way better for the environment than getting on a plane a lot.
I still take plane trips sometimes, but only when it’s really meaningful to me.
+1
I’m hearing that maybe there is a lot of pressure and expectations placed on travel for you, like you’re expecting to be wowed or have some powerful experience every time. Reality is, travel is just living life in a different location.
It’s also totally fine not to travel. There is a lot of social pressure in higher-SES circles to have the most exotic and interesting trip to talk about at the neighborhood block party – and no doubt that stuff is interesting! But it starts to feel performative and not done for its own sake.
Since my divorce, I have become comfortable with the idea that I may very well never leave the continental US again. My ex constantly wanted (me) to plan elaborate trips, spend a ton of money, etc. I’m more interested in being highly content with a “smaller” life at this point.
Maybe you just feel satisfied at this point? I remember how I felt during a period of my life before I really started traveling regularly and ticking places off my list. I wasn’t traveling much at all, and I *craved* it. It felt physical. I would day dream and plan and yearn for not just a specific place, but for the act of traveling and exploring and seeing something new. I’ve been lucky enough to many great trips in the last several years and feel like I scratched the itch. I’m still looking forward to travel but tbh I don’t feel that pull towards it in the same way. Sounds like you need to reevaluate what you want out of travel at this place in your life.
You don’t have to travel if you don’t want to.
I love going back to my favorite places. We try and do one new big trip, one trip to our favorite beach spot, and the a few smaller trips a year. Sometimes it is nice to just go to a place we know we love, we know where our favorite restaurants are, we know where we like to stay, etc. I still like exploring new places, but I could see if you have traveled a lot how this could be less exciting over time.
You don’t have to enjoy travel. It’s not mandatory!
I’ve seen the places in the world I want to see (haven’t seen all the places in the world, obviously) and now I don’t consider a trip a vacation unless it’s truly relaxing. My international travel was interesting but not relaxing.
My style now is a road trip to a rental house by the beach or in the woods and some good books. Good food too.
Well, I’m not lucky enough to have been able to visit all the places on my bucket list, but the parallel that I can think of is art – I used to be an artist, and I found that the more art I saw in museums, galleries, etc., the less I liked. But when I did see something I loved, I really loved it. I guess it was partly a function of becoming more discerning? Not sure if this is helpful. Maybe see if there is a common thread in experiences that do still spark wonder or joy?
My favorite travel experiences often relate to being in nature and seeing animals. This may be because I live in NYC, and it is hard for me to get too excited about city experiences in general when traveling, or things like restaurants or art museums unless there is a specific piece or show I want to see. But I like to do things like go jogging to see different buildings, taking cooking or craft classes, going on hikes, etc.
What do you like to do when you travel? I’m mostly an outdoor/nature person, so there’s no such thing as checking off my entire bucket list. Every time I go outside is a new experience, even just in my city, and I’m happy to take repeat trips to the same places and see them in new seasons, new weather, see different species or different behaviors, go on different trails, etc. Even if that’s not your thing, I’m sure there’s something similar you enjoy, whether it’s food, shopping, art, people watching, or some other experience you could focus on. If you’ve mostly been doing international travel, maybe try something closer to home, or otherwise switch up the type of trip you’re doing.
For me, the answer is travel better. I prioritize making sure that travel is relaxing, convenient and as free of lines as possible (say yes to whatever $$ lets you skip the line). Basically think of if you were traveling with your grandma and wanted to make it as easy with a centrally located hotel, as direct of a flight as possible and a maximum of two activity per day itinerary.
Been there. Started to go deeper, eg language course, researching sites before visiting, etc. Get a lot more out of travel with those changes.
I am not what I suspect the people on this board would consider a “well-traveled” person – my passport has expired and I’ve not gone abroad in 20 years. But I am OK with that! I travel all over the US and I go back to places I like – Maine, the same beach, and skiing out west. Being jostled around crowded places just doesn’t do it for me.
No shame in repeating! About half our travel is repeats, whether routine places like visiting family in FL, or nabbing a discount on a long weekend in Paris. You still get a lovely break from everyday, but can more easily get off the “omg must do” list and get more into the nooks and crannies that you enjoy about the destination. Like Paris – my last visit we did not go into a single museum. It was beautiful high-70s weather in June and so we spent the whole time finding new-to-us parks and just enjoying the food and drinks outdoors.
I feel this way sometimes. I think it’s because of globalisation and catering to tourists. Every major destination is a gutted shadow of its former glory, with residents priced out and Airbnb, expats, and tourist traps creating a Disneyland version of what the city used to be.
Are there any GERD sufferers here who can recommend a good alginate in the US? the US version of Gaviscon doesn’t really have them. thank you!
I order gaviscon advance mint chewable tablets from the UK via Amazon. The texture is terrible but they work like a charm!
I don’t know the drug you’re referring to, but I am a big fan of Pepcid in its various iterations.