Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Ikat Sarong Pencil Skirt
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I’m officially declaring summer 2025 to be Skirt Season. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen this many fantastic skirt options available, and this black-and-white number from Ann Taylor is a stunner.
I’m always a little wary of wrap-style pieces, but this little micro-stitch gun gives me a bit more confidence. I would add a stitch or two to avoid a wardrobe malfunction and pair this with a black silk blouse for a gorgeous, elevated business casual look.
The skirt is $119 at Ann Taylor and comes in straight sizes 00-18 and petites 00-16.
Sales of note for 6/16/25:
- Nordstrom – Designer clearance up to 60% off
- Nordstrom Rack – Refurbished Dyson hairdryers down to $199-$240 (instead of $400+)
- Ann Taylor – 40% off summer must-haves + extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new womenswear styles with code
- Eloquii – Extra 45% off all sale
- J.Crew – Easy summer styles from $39.50 + extra 50% sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 60% off clearance + extra 70% off 3 clearance styles
- M.M.LaFleur – 30% summer essentials with code + try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Free shipping on everything
- Talbots – 30% off all tees, shorts, dresses, and more + extra 30% off all other markdowns
Recommendations for a photo printer? I’d like to occasionally print one or two pics from my phone for 4×6 frames or for an album. Preferably I’d like the flexibility to print in other small-ish sizes too – like square pictures, not tiny instax sized and not 8×10. I’ve read good things about the Canon Selphy but it’s almost $300 (with some paper and ink) and I’m sure the paper and cartridge replacements are expensive too. If I really need to spend that much I will, but I know canon is notoriously overpriced and there are often off-brand options that work just as well. I’m overwhelmed by options online. Anyone have one they like?
Is there a reason you want this when you can order prints from real photo shops for less than a dollar? I just order online and pop out on my lunch break to a pick up.
I order mine online at CVS and then pick them up, usually in less than an hour. I think I pay about 40 cents per print for a regular photo.
CVS has given me back blurry photos multiple times. Snapfish has been better. I agree with OP though that sometimes an extra errand like this doesn’t sound like much in theory but in practice, you just won’t do it.
I usually want to print one or two at a time, so it seems like a hassle to order prints and/or create a whole nother errand to pick up prints. In theory I could wait until I have some critical mass of pictures where it “makes sense” to pick up a bunch at once. In practice, I just don’t do it.
If I can have a small, relatively inexpensive device at home that obviates the need for me to psyche myself up to “do [yet another] the thing!” then I’d like to do that.
Fair enough, I HATE random gadgets and a 5 minute walk on my lunch break doesn’t require psyching up (but oh boy to I need a week of psyching to trek out to Costco!).
Agree with first response. Unless you frequently need photos instantly, just go through the (minor) hassle of having them printed at a shop. Those instant machines are quite good and practically free if you aren’t looking for art photos…
I agree, and if you want something a bit different than the 1-hour providers give, Etsy has some options that I’ve used for different sizes. They take about a week.
For one or two photos I intend to have on display for a short time before rotating in a new one, I just use my office’s nice color printer. We are allowed to print for personal use within reason.
I use mootsh to print monthly batches of photos. It’s cheap and easy and they come in the mail.
I have used a Canon selphy.
It’s great for printing out small postcard size to put in a thank you card, on the fridge – anywhere an okay print is good enough.
It’s expensive for what it is, and new printer cartridges and paper is expensive, but I had around 4-5 years of use from mine before it no longer handled color well, and for me it was worth it.
Hearing all this, leaving it to the professionals to print them out feels like a lot less potential errands and hassles.
I get my photos printed by Shutterfly. Even if I’m only printing a couple, its still less than $5. Come in the mail, no hassle.
We are taking a first time trip to NYC in mid-July. It will be me, my husband, and two sons (10 and 12). The kids love sports and one also loves gaming. Any recs? Is the Statue of Liberty worth it and would it take half the day? I saw some tour options for it – is that worth it? We are only staying a few days so trying to make the most of our time. I have on my list so far a Broadway show, Central Park, and a couple hour food tour in Little Italy/Chinatown. Thanks in advance!
I like taking the Staten Island Ferry for free views of the Statue of Liberty. I climbed up it once and felt kind of meh about it, but seeing it from the ferry is fun.
Some kind of sports game – Yankees/Mets baseball? Seems kind of obvious with your kids’ interests.
Food tour and Broadway will be good.
I also loved seeing the Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island Ferry. I don’t love crowded, small spaces, so I was fine with not climbing the stairs to the top of the statue.
The statute of liberty will be hot and crowded and miserable. Look at her from land. If they love sports I would look for Yankees or Mets tickets.
I went to NYC for the first time around that age and I remember how exciting it was to see all the stuff I had only seen in movies. So yes – Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building, Central Park, etc.
The museum on Ellis Island would be fun for that age. Especially if you have ancestors you can look up on their database who passed through the island on their way into America.
I saw Ellis Island as a child and it stuck with me. But I’d also read a lot of those books about the immigrant experience so I was more interested than usual, probably.
Citi Field is fun and not too hard to get to. (So is Yankee stadium but it’s a bit more Serious feeling and less playful, if that makes sense.) You may want to see if the Yankees or Mets are playing a team your kids like and take in a game
+1 to citifield. It’s a blast. You might become a Mets fan even if you don’t care about sports. It’s designed to be a ball park rather than a stadium. LGM!
Do not miss the Museum of Natural History! As a kid it blew my mind.
YMMV but I think by age 10 many kids are moving on from that stuff. It was peak excitement for my kids from about ages ~5-9. But it probably depends on where they’re coming from and how many natural history museums they’ve visited in their lives. A lot of non-NYC cities have good ones.
Agreed – I think they are aging out and it tends to be really crowded.
Re: the Statue of Liberty – if you can get tickets to go up in the crown I would do that, otherwise, do a Staten Island Ferry ride or visit Ellis Island instead. I would not do anything other than an official NPS tour.
The Coney Island cyclones –minor league baseball–games are fun, cheap and the stadium is right on the boardwalk. They also have fireworks one night a week in the summer, I think Friday usually. Coney Island itself is worth a visit if you are open to a longer subway ride and slightly sleazy entertainment. You get a real cross-section of actual New Yorkers, which is harder to see in Midtown, and the Wonder Wheel is historic and fun. I would not bother with the CI Aquarium unless you really love aquariums – it is pretty small and very crowded in the summer.
RE: Gaming – depending on what kind of gaming, there are a number of gaming cafes and VR gaming places you could visit, but I haven’t been to any of them. I have always wanted to take my son to Chinatown Fair, an old school arcade in Chinatown. He enjoyed the Nintendo store in Rockefeller center. There are arcades at Coney Island.
For whatever reason we went to the natural history museum when visiting Prague, and I said to my husband…I think I’ve had enough natural history museums.
Cannot recommend the ate enemy Museum highly enough. And it’s near Chinatown and Little Italy.
Yikes — Tenement Museum!
Ha! Thanks for the laugh!
+1 it’s awesome
If you aren’t interested in going to the Ellis Island museum, then the best way to see the Statue of Liberty is from the Staten Island Ferry. If you are interested, watch out for scammers selling tickets around Battery Park. The real tickets are sold at Castle Clinton in the northern end of the park.
To tag onto seeing a Broadway show, John’s pizza on W 44th street is great for dinner beforehand. The pizza is really good, and it’s in an old church. I once brought a group of similar-aged boys there who were doing a short stopover in the city before going to Cooperstown, and they universally loved it. Also, highly recommend walking through Times Square after the show to see all the lights and characters. It’s funny, because as a New Yorker, I avoid Times Square as much as possible, but my tween and teen nieces and nephews all love seeing it.
Agree with others that a baseball game would be a great trip. I’m a Yankees fan, but Mets are more low key. If the kids are into basketball, the NY Liberty play at Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn and are so much fun.
If you’re going to do a museum, Natural History is the one. They have several interactive exhibits now that are really cool and sneak in education. The dinosaurs are amazing, and the hall of minerals is my favorite.
All great suggestions. One thing I’d add, if anyone has sensory issues or gets overwhelmed, I’d skip Time Square. It is A LOT, especially when busy.
+1 to the NY Liberty. Super easy to get to Barclays Center (almost all the train lines stop there) and the games are really fun and engaging, and a lot less expensive than an NBA game!
Definitely hit the Natural History Museum and the Met (arms and armory and the egyptian wing) if you have time. In an afternoon you can pretty easily do Little Italy/Chinatown, subway (or walk) to World Trade Center and see the Brooklyn Bridge. The Staten Island Ferry would be my strong recommendation vs. the tour which is a good chunk of time.
The tour buses might be fun if the weather is nice – you can cover a lot of major spots while sitting which is a good break from lots of walking!
Has anyone gone to the library that houses the orignal Pooh Bear?
I would do the museum before the statute of liberty. My son has loved going there since he was 8. There are medival weapons, etc!
Nintendo store for your kid who loves gaming
We did our family’s first trip to NYC earlier this year with kids age 12 & 14.
For Broadway: Maybe Happy Ending was a great show and may appeal to that age group as it involves robots.
We stayed btw Times Square and Central Park so we were close to almost everything. When we did have to travel I was surprised how much more expensive uber was compared to Chicago. Next time we’ll either stay closer or explore public transit more.
We quite enjoyed the Statue of Liberty & Ellis Island tour, and it was worth the 4 hours for us. Our tour guide was very engaging and provided a lot of history & context for both sites. I would imagine just Statue of Liberty would be more crowd/less educational, but I really liked the guided tour.
We hit a lot of museums but not Natural History – Met, MoMA, Broadway, the Intrepid (decommissioned aircraft carrier, submarine and space shuttle). All were cool in their own way, and I want to go back and explore both art museums more when we have more time.
We took the Staten Island Ferry to a Ferry Hawks game and it was a good time!
Also I’m sure there is a super specialized store for whatever your kids are interested in – We took our graphic novel loving daughter to Kinokuniya near Bryant Park and she loved it.
Ha – good point. The Pele Store in Times Square has a lot of current jerseys, plus some $$$ retro/old jerseys, if your sporty kids like soccer.
I’d recommend spending part of a day downtown visiting the WTC memorial (the museum may be a bit heavy for your kids ages), walking around battery city, trinity church, south street seaport, etc. – nice views of the Statue of Liberty from battery park.
Grand Banks is fun to eat – it’s an old schooner converted to a restaurant/oyster bar. I’d also recommend eating at PJ Clark’s (battery city) and sitting outside!
Oh and walking the Brooklyn bridge is a blast. It gets crowded and hot so I’d recommend going early in the morning or later in the evening. You could walk across and get dinner in Brooklyn then walk back or take a subway back
I was walking my dog today in a city-suburban neighborhood (Bethesda). A neighbor cut through a parking lot on his run and the direct path to his house was to spring right up to us to pass about 5 feet in front of our path along the sidewalk. The dog reacted and I pulled him back (on a short leash). I can see how the dog saw this as someone coming up in a threatening way (dog doesn’t know that this is a neighbor; he knows other neighbors and their dogs). The stink eye from the neighbor was intense. If I see him later, should I say anything? Neighbor has a dog, but it’s maybe 100 pounds smaller than my dog and it’s usually his wife who walks it.
I feel unclear on what happened here. The dog reacted as in, lunged at this guy to rip his throat out? Barked a warning? Snarled or growled? Ignored your voice command such that you had to rely on the leash?
OP here — the dog barked very loudly and pulled on his leash. Maybe the neighbor thought he’d break free and attack him (dog has never gotten away from me but he is very big and very loud)? But I kept the dog under control (part of it is having a short leash, so the dog was always next to me and not near enough to the neighbor to bite him or physically interact).
I think just like your dog reacted in the moment, what you identify as your neighbor’s stink eye was likely also an instinctive response to a situation that felt momentarily threatening. Unless you have indications that this is an ongoing issue for the neighbor, I’d just move on.
A dude should realize that his randomly running up upon a woman walking alone (or even a man), could come across as really threatening? Especially if you’re coming upon them from behind our out of a corner. Who does that? It’s not like you’re on a running track and I’m guessing he didn’t call out “on your left” like people on bikes do.
I don’t disagree! People are oblivious or distracted all the time and do weird stuff. That’s exactly why I wouldn’t make a big deal about all this.
Nobody is wrong here. The guy is allowed to run to his house. You were on a walk. Dog was a dog. Nothing to do or say.
The runner didn’t do anything wrong by running where he did.
My view is that it’s okay to have a dog that is motivated to protect you from random threats, and it was okay that this interaction was perceived as threatening. If your dog isn’t really trained not to pull on the leash in general and was just barking a “back off” warning, then I’d have no complaints from a warning bark from a startled dog.
But it’s really supposed to be a dog’s training, not a dog’s leash, that prevents a human from being attacked by a dog. So if you think that this ended well because you maintained control via physical restraint, and not by training or directives, then the neighbor would be correct to conclude that the dog is potentially dangerous and should be avoided, which is maybe the best outcome.
In any case I don’t know that I’d say anything. I’ve sometimes had other people say something like “we’re working on helping Rex with [whatever behavior]” in cases where that made sense.
IDK here — if someone is randomly running very close to me and the dog reacts like it’s threatened, that seems like something I’d not spend a lot of time trying to retrain him on (how could you even simulate this?). My preference would just be to walk away from people or at least runners you can see coming.
What I usually see is unleashed dogs that bite and bark and because they are tiny, the owner thinks its cute and doesn’t even leash them.
I think it’s appropriate for a dog to assert boundaries if someone runs at me! I wouldn’t train that out of a dog.
I just couldn’t tell if OP thinks that the dog really would have bitten the guy if it weren’t for the leash! I do think sometimes dogs use the leash to “bluff though, and wouldn’t follow through if not restrained. Same as guys who act like they’re going to start a fist fight if only their buddies would let go and let them (but have no real intention of doing that).
To some extent, my answer depends on what your dog actually did. If it just acted startled, I wouldn’t worry about it, if it really went after him, an apology might be in order, despite the fact that I think he was in the wrong here. It’s scary to creep up fast on people (and dogs) in a way they’re not expecting and you can’t get mad when they’re surprised by that, but just as it wouldn’t be acceptable for you to scream or punch him in response, your dog can’t attack him for it.
Just adding, I think a shriek of surprise from you or quick bark from your dog would both be acceptable responses. Extended screaming or barking and growling from the dog would be less acceptable and merit an apology.
It’s funny, when I am out with my dog, I never wear earbuds and keep something playing on my phone with the sound on so that people can hear me approaching (along with some good Tudor history podcasts).
No, do not say anything. People are crazy. The best thing to do with (relative) strangers is to avoid confrontation.
Also he didn’t do anything, he looked? Mad? Scared? Startled? Who knows. I’d give everyone the benefit of the doubt here.
Your dog did his job!!!
I wouldn’t say anything. Your dog reacted normally in the situation. Had a black large dog that had a habit barking at anyone who said “good morning” a little too friendly on my runs. She was the best girl.
No why would you make a fuss over literally nothing
No, you shouldn’t say anything. He didn’t do anything, and neither did you. Please don’t turn this into a teaching moment.
This— I don’t understand what you’d say.
Your dog wasn’t wrong for barking. You had the dog under control. He wasn’t wrong for using the sidewalk to run. NTA. Saying something is just going to make it A Thing.
Your neighbor jogged and your dog dogged. No harm no foul. Give good dog a treat for me.
So you want to police…a mean look?
Dogs are so annoying stg
Recommendations for a sleepover camp duffle? I’m so overwhelmed by the options on Amazon and have had no guidance from the camp. My 12 yo DD is going for 4 wks.
We used the wheeled plastic red or black trunks from the Container Store. Also recommend the zip IKEA large bags (not the open ones).
Yes, on the zip IKEA bags. You can get them from Amazon. The straps can work as backpack straps. We bought a set of them when my son moved into his freshman dorm and now he’s a senior and still using them every time he changes housing.
LL Bean Rolling Adventure Duffle. They’re on sale now.
+1
Does it need to be a duffle? Most campers at the sleepover camps that my kids attend bring a large Rubbermaid/Sterilite storage container with all of their stuff. They bring a small backpack for using as a day pack around the campground with hat, water bottle, etc.
If she needs to carry everything, you want to get a hiking backpack with a frame fitted for her size.
Has to be a duffle because there’s nowhere to store a hard sided container. She won’t need to carry everything on her. I was told by another mom to use 1 large duffle and put bedding etc in the laundry bag. It’s a somewhat traditional sleepover camp in PA, but not very fancy. Most of the facilities haven’t changed in 30 years.
Ikea zipped blue bags (can order a 6-pack on Amazon). Packing bags within one for clothes. Carry bedding / towels in others.
It sounds like it probably doesn’t really matter what you use – just get something cheap if you don’t have soft-sided luggage she can take.
I wish I knew more medical knowledge and I appreciate the medical posts here (like on ER visits). I had to have a procedure (not sure if that is the same as a surgery or not) where I had to fast before and list my meds (rather basic and minimal, like BCPs, a vitamin, and an OTC allergy med I could have easily stopped if needed). I didn’t like about anything and can manage my limited alcohol intake around surgeries (and don’t use illegal drugs or MJ).
What happens when you’re in a car crash, when your last food and meds are completely unknown (along with alcohol and any recreational drugs). It seems that even common foods (grapefruit, which I love) can interact with (some sort of ) medicines. Never mind accidentally mixing meds that could have consequences.
Are there “doesn’t matter what you’ve eaten or taken” meds out there (and if so, why not just use that)? I realize that this is all very complicated to ask internet strangers on a fashion blog, but a brief and uneventful encounter with anything but an an annual physical has made me realize how much I have no idea about (and not idea how to get even minimally educated).
Some of the restrictions are precautionary, and doctors and surgeons know how to deal with the uncertainty under emergency conditions. I’m sure others here know more than I do. The risk of aspiration from eating or drinking shortly before a procedure may be low, but the restrictions are there to avoid the possibility.
Most medications don’t have a major affect on others or if they do, it’s not in a way that will immediately be life threatening, so it’s just not that important when trying to save your life. That can be dealt with later. And for eating and drinking, they know that emergency surgery is at high risk for aspiration, but again, saving your life takes priority.
I should add, there’s also a reason why people wear those medical alert bracelets. People with life threatening allergies, diabetes, or taking the kind of drugs doctors really do need to know about.
This. I have RoadID bracelet that I wear for runs that has all my allergies and emergency contact. You can also keep the information stored in the emergency settings on your iPhone, and it can be quite detailed.
I’m curious about how this works. My phone is super-locked down (I think), because I’ve heard horror stories about people using Venmo to empty bank accounts.
@ Anonymous at 10:56, there is an iPhone “medical info” card you can create that can be accessed without needing to unlock the phone, so that EMS and other emergency workers can access the info. Mine has my name, age, medication allergies, and an emergency contact including phone number. https://support.apple.com/guide/iphone/set-up-and-view-your-medical-id-iph08022b192/ios
I had to get taken away in an ambulance for a heart arrhythmia (PSVT – I’m fine) and the EMTs asked for my iPhone and accessed my health screen. I was conscious and could have answered their questions, but it was nice to have it in one place and I was glad I had it up to date.
Don’t ignore this feature in your phone! It can really help in an emergency.
It’s a matter of which option is worse. If you’re brought into the hospital for an emergency you will certainly die (or become disabled) without medical treatment. Their options are take a chance that you’ll react badly during treatment or just let you die. When it’s a planned procedure the options are risking a bad reaction or plan ahead to eliminate the possibility of a bad reaction.
I wonder about this with my elderly parents. My mom is on chemo and gets platelets and I don’t know that stuff like this gets asked about (vs “medicines you take”). Do topicals count? They have a lot of meds, no EMRs talk to each other, and just because they have a med doesn’t mean that they take it (some are as needed and I think some are regularly forgotten).
I wonder in cases like this if it’s ever allowed/facilitated to update EMRs on a preventive basis.
I’ve heard of patients with extremely rare and high risk diseases sort of introducing themselves to hospitals so that the poor hospital isn’t blindsided if they show up there unconscious, but I don’t know if that’s facilitated or is a desperate workaround.
Some EMRs do talk to one another. If the hospital where your mom is being treated uses Epic, then any hospital using Epic can access her record. There are also regional groups with data interfaces for exactly this type of issue. Finally, for medication interactions, the pharmacy is your friend. As long as your parents use one pharmacy to fill their prescriptions, any interactions with existing meds will be flagged.
I used to work in hospital pharmacy and a pharmacist is on the code/trauma team. When those calls come in they go up to the trauma bay and dispense from the the code box. I never went but I assume they’re watching for interactions, collaborating with docs and what to use etc. But people with severe allergies/conditions often wear medic alert bracelets too. I think they can run screens pretty quickly too. We’d send up a “banana bag” for the really drunk ones to sober them up.
Here’s my understanding from a patient’s perspective. First, if you’re in a car crash and can be ID’d, if the ER is in a hospital network that has your records, I believe they will try to check your medical records. In this scenario, they should be able to see, okay this patient has been prescribed blood thinners or whatever, and take that into account.
As for why prescribe meds with interactions vs. others; most the meds that can increase risk from traumatic injury (whether by increasing the severity of the injury or by potentially interacting with meds used to treat it) are prescribed on a risk/reward basis same as with any other special consideration.
People do wear medical alert bracelets if there’s a high risk. So for example there are some medical conditions that have life threatening contraindications to very commonly given meds. I’m familiar with myasthenia, which is rare but has contraindications for muscle relaxants up to and including IV magnesium for sensitive patients, so those patients may wear a bracelet. I believe people with situs inversus also wear medical alert bracelets since emergency responders need to know what side of their body their vital organs are on(!).
But for a lot of common conditions and meds, the level of monitoring that is happening at the hospital is going to help a lot. They’re checking what is happening your body whatever is causing it, and responding to that as it happens. So it’s different from interactions happening at home.
The reason you’re told to fast before surgery is not to prevent food-drug interactions, it’s to reduce the chances of you aspirating under anesthesia. If you have an emergency and you need airway management but you aren’t fasted, the team will take steps to manage the risk.
With regards to asking about your medication, taking a thorough history including all current medications is always good medical practice when circumstances allow, but again, if not able, the team will do fine without and manage the risk appropriately.
They figure it out. Just because ideally they’d have all of this doesn’t mean it’s critical in an actual emergency
Former paramedic here and this is basically the answer.
Avoiding grapefruit consumption is a go-forward situation if you are given a medication that interacts with it. They don’t avoid giving you such a medication because you ate grapefruit yesterday.
Gut check. I know curly hair is not unprofessional. I’m wearing mine curly lately which isn’t my preferred look but it’s humid and the summer schedule means I have less time to blow dry anyway. I’ve actually managed to tame the frizz but I guess my curls have…an unusual amount of volume. This volume seems intense even as my hair has thinned with age. A boss once said of my curls that it “looks like you stuck your finger in a light socket.” Can I just have permission not to deal with this? Or is strange looking enough to do something? I get a lot of kind of shocked looks when I wear it like this.
Well your boss was unprofessional for sure.
Without seeing your normal hair vs especially floofy hair, it’s hard to give you an answer about whether this warrants some managing. On recommendations here, I started using color wow one minute transformation and it’s made a big difference in my humidity hair. My hair is straight to wavy, fine, tons of little curly flyaways esp in humidity, so ymmv of course.
Curly hair can look professional or unprofessional based on how it is styled. Do you style your curly hair? Even with some curl creme, you should have some definition and the volume should be weighted down enough that you do not look like you put your finger in a light socket.
Op here. The frizz I have conquered; the volume can’t really be tamed without heat. That’s my issue.
I believe volume is not unprofessional. I have curly hair and do my best to keep frizz down, but the volume is what it is.
Your hair is gorgeous! Never feel ashamed of having Julia Roberts hair!
Omg. It is kind of like her pretty woman hair; that level of volume but it’s dark. Again, not my favorite look but it’s just not going to give up its volume.
I have curly hair and never blow dry. This is my hair, there’s nothing inherently unprofessional about it.
I have straight fine brown hair that is getting replaced by wirey gray hairs that are completely unhinged. I cannot manage this hair. Some humidity makes it worse. 90% humidity with high heat makes the rest of the hair come alive into glorious waves that hide the wires. Should I move to Panama or New Orleans? Because my hair looks like a bad perm.
Girl, everything is in the styling. You don’t really have permission not to groom yourself for work. Take the time to style your hair.
Op here. Hey so I am using an oil and a gel and finishing with a curl cream. It’s not like I just wash and wear. It looks soft with minimal frizz. But it’s really a looks like lot of hair when it’s curly I guess. Maybe it’s just too much. I’m getting the message that the high volume reads ungroomed which is helpful even if it feels harsh.
I mean it feels not just harsh but racist to me, but a lot of people haven’t worked through their baggage and the reasons why they see some types of hair as less professional.
Well that’s just silly or jealousy. The higher the hair the closer to god.
Did you even read the question?
Yes and it sounded like she didn’t style it at all. But she now said otherwise.
In addition, she said in her OP that she tames the frizz. She’s not going ungroomed.
The shocked looks are because people are used to seeing you with a blowout. What your boss said crossed boundaries and was arguably unprofessional. As long as your hair is clean, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wearing it as it naturally curls.
I agree with this. I have curly hair. I wear it curly on a daily basis (“styled” nicely as the other posters require). But it blows out beautifully, and looks healthy and bouncy and sleek, but not “big”. If I were to blow it out all the time, people would be shocked at how “big” it is when it’s curly – I just have a lot of hair and some serious volume if I let it do it’s thing. Being shocked is one thing – saying you stuck your finger in a socket is wrong and rude. Even if you look like Yahoo Serious.
If you’re getting a lot of shocked looks, then find a hairstyle that works for you. It could even be just pulling it back into a nice clip.
Also, try changing the conditioner you use. Your hair might need something different or extra than it did when you were twenty.
I have curly hair and the right cut with some curl cream and then oil when it’s dry makes all the difference. I would ignore the comment. But if it’s drawing attention and that’s not intended, I think working on the style some more is best. I know my hair “grows” during the day when it’s humid. If I am speaking or have some other big thing going on, I’ve found it’s easier just to wear it up so it’s not distracting. I want people to notice me and not what’s going on up top,
The right cut is key for me.
My hair has big, uneven waves that trend curly. If my stylist does a dry cut to work with my hair, it looks fantastic without any special styling accommodations on my end. If I get a stylist who wets my hair and cuts it without regard for the natural wave, I get weird ends sticking out where I don’t want them, the overall shape is off even if technically correct, and no amount of styling work from me will overcome the cut.
I notice a big difference in how much hair it looks like I have when it’s down (overwhelms my face and overall look) vs half up. Half up is my default. A few times a year I think, “Surely today is the day it’ll look good down!” Nope, that is not the day. Mine just looks best half up.
It might take some trial and error to find the right barrette or other containment system. For me, it’s bobby pins. (Virtually invisible in my dark, dark hair.)
That’s a weird thing for your boss to say.
What a weird and rude comment. Curly voluminous hair is not unprofessional (I have it too, wear it curly, and don’t use heat). It’s possible that the styling doesn’t look as put together as it could, or maybe you just look different and people are reacting to that. It’s hard to tell without seeing you; do you have a friend you can ask?
Everyone from my grandmother to my girlfriends says it’s prettiest curly. But it’s just so not my thing. The light socket comment was really the only negative thing anybody said although it stuck with me. A more recent work friend (guy) said something nice about it but did remark on the volume. I appreciate the tips and suggestions but in my mid 40s I feel like frizz free is really the best I can do with product and no heat. I’m
Not willing to get a curly cut for six weeks of curls. It’s really a temporary problem but I saw a kind of shocked look on someone this morning who has probably only seen it straight and it does bug me.
The shocked look on their faces mean there are more negative things being said behind your back. The question is whether you care and what your goal is. To feel better about yourself? To care less what others think? To keep others’ respect at work? To get promoted?
I have curly hair and exclusively heat style at work except for the very rare videoconference where I pull it back in a bun that looks sleek from the front. I want people to focus on my work and not my appearance so I put in the effort even when I don’t feel like doing so.
It’s unlikely that people are saying bad things behind her back. It’s natural to be surprised when someone shows up looking completely different, and it’s difficult to conceal that surprise. I am sure that I’ve betrayed some surprise at new hairstyles that I thought looked great, but I was smart enough not to compliment the people because I know better than to comment on another woman’s appearance (especially if that woman happens to be Black and the compliment would be on her hair).
Do people really discuss other people’s heart behind their backs? I feel like that would reflect poorly on them. It’s died green. It’s just curly.
Oh my lord, having curly hair does not distract people from focusing on your work. JFC.
The shocked look is just a look of surprise because you looked very different. It doesn’t mean you are being judged. For all you know the person thought it looked great but knew better than to comment on your hair.
If you don’t like it curly, wear it up. If you don’t mind it curly, just let people get used to it. It’s unreasonable to expect people not to notice or react in any way when your appearance changes radically.
Yeah . Even here I’m getting really mixed messages as to whether or not it’s ok. The idea that people are talking about it behind my back or that it’s reading ungroomed are kind of eye opening, tbh.
People who can very easily make their hair look the same every single day (often people with fairly straight hair) sometimes fall into judging people whose hair looks different from day to day (typically people with wave or curl since weather conditions and other factors can change outcomes even when our grooming routine remains the same). They see that the outcomes of styling are less reliable and predictable and think that means the person with curly hair is less reliable too, and isn’t their hair less tame and more wild? Possibly less civilized even? And so on.
Any hair that isn’t groomed, curly or not, will read as ungroomed. But it sounds like you are grooming it and it’s just big. That’s not inherently unprofessional, just a contrast with your usual look.
Ignore the talking behind your back comment (along with the incredibly rude one from your old boss). I know I probably did a double take the other week when a colleague (who always has sleek, stick-straight hair) showed up with lovely waves, which is apparently her natural texture. My reaction was because it took my brain a second to recognize her with her different hair, the same way you might react if someone had a major hair cut. Having Julia Roberts’ hair from Pretty Woman is enviable, not unprofessional! It sounds great, and you’re not rolling out of bed with it, so put aside any thoughts that you aren’t doing enough.
I mean, if you come in looking different you will just have to shrug off looks of surprise. If you wore your hair curly for years and suddenly straightened it you would get the same looks, or if you cut it all off, or had short hair and suddenly got extensions…
I have curly hair and received literally the same “light socket” comment from a coworker. To be fair it did look a bit wild that day. Most days I try to be more intentional with styling and/or pull it back using a clip.
My dermatologist said that I should use tinted mineral sunscreen for my face. Does anyone have one they like? I’m finding tinted sunscreens but it’s tough to find a mineral one.
Elta MD
I also use Elta but I just use the regular, un-tinted version and mix in makeup myself so that I can get the right color. I use the Ilia serum foundation for this.
Why tinted? I’ve never found a tinted anything that doesn’t look terrible on my pale, cool toned skin. But I like the vanicream moisturizer with SPF.
Not OP but the iron oxides give extra protection.
I can’t get the same level of protection from mineral sunscreen that I get from chemical sunscreen. Presumably the advice to use a tinted sunscreen was to encourage OP to apply it more heavily (mineral sunscreen leaves a white cast that discourages heavy application), but no matter how much I use I still get a sunburn with mineral sunscreen.
Interesting, I’ve never had that experience with mineral sunscreen. She specifically said to get the mineral and the tinted
That’s actually not true. Mineral sunscreen is higher protection usually since it’s a physical block. Anything will vary though by SPF and whether you’re applying it frequently enough or where needed.
https://www.mdanderson.org/cancerwise/is-mineral-sunscreen-better-than-chemical-sunscreen.h00-159540534.html
And chemical wears off more quickly.
I don’t know! She said the tinted was actually better for use on your face?
It can be; it’s easier to apply enough without looking “white” as opposed to a natural appearance. The tint itself is providing extra protection.
Paula’s Choice RESIST Super-Light Wrinkle Defense SPF 30
I use Skinceuticles Tinted mineral sunscreen. A little expensive but it looks the best on my pale skin.
This is the GOAT. Worth every penny.
I have two I alternate between: Supergoop mineral matt sunscreen (tinted SPF 40) and Revision Skincare Intellishade TruPhysical (tinted SPF 45–more spendy). The Revision skincare is more moisturizing and works great with makeup. If I apply makeup or powder I let both sunscreens dry down for 10-15 minutes.
I use Ultra Violette Future Fluid, I love it. It’s tinted but doesn’t really provide coverage. It works really well under makeup and doesn’t leave a white cast.
Revision INtellishade or Elta MD
Revision Intellishade is the very best.
Tizo3 primer/sunscreen tinted. I like the primer/sunscreen version because it is matte, not shiny. Recommended by my dermatologist and I have been using it for years.
I’ve been using bliss – Block Star Daily SPF 30. I’ve been using it for several years. It’s one I keep coming back to even when I try other sunscreens because it just feels good on my skin and works well as primer for me.
Anthelios Mineral One 50+ SPF from La Roche-Posay. Not a lot of shades available, but works fine and is not super expensive. I am in Europe though, not sure if this is available in the US.
Ilia skin tint! I love this product so much. You can try it on at Sephora to see if you like it.
Merit and Saie also have good options.
I use Dr. Jart’s BB cream. I’m allergic to chemical sunscreens, so if I don’t want a white cast all over my face, I pony up for Dr Jart’s.
The hair question reminded me that I wanted to ask you all: is it reasonable to ask a stylist to not use high heat on your hair?
I have very fine hair. I recently went to a blowout bar for the first time. When blow drying my hair, she used a very high heat, to the point that it was painful on my scalp. I said ow a few times and she held the blow dryer farther from my head but didn’t reduce the heat. I then had a bunch of flyaways, which my normal stylist says happens when you dry hair at too high a heat. The flyaways had to be tamed with a lot of product, but they kept popping up throughout the day.
I don’t really know much about hair so I didn’t feel like I could tell the stylist how to do her job. But I’m thinking maybe I should’ve spoken up? Is this a normal experience and you have to just say something?
You can absolutely ask the stylist not to use high heat. It’s your hair.
If you don’t want high heat, I would not get a blowout.
+1. It is always fine to say something, but realistically, I would expect a blowout bar to use high heat, as the stylists there often aren’t as skilled as professional stylists.
Ah this is good to know, thanks. If it matters, I booked the extra 15 minutes or whatever they call it for an extended session, with the hope that the stylist wouldn’t be rushed.
It’s always fine to say the heat is too hot for you (and I’d go beyond “ow” because a lot of beauty treatments hurt but people want them anyway). But since you got too many flyaways, I’d see someone else next time since it sounds like the stylist isn’t actually great at her job.
I think it’s totally fair at the beginning of the appointment to say, “My hair reacts badly to high heat” You aren’t telling them how to do their job, you are giving them information so that they can be successful.
You don’t have to be an expert on all hair, but you have lived with your hair longer than any stylist so you get to say what your experience has been.
It is always okay to use your words.
Seriously!
You need to find a new stylist. I had one for a year who could not blow out my hair without creating little whisps that were not part of my natural texture and then insisted it was normal. I finally decided to find a new salon when she said “I just can’t get your hair as shiny as you do; what’s your secret?”
You’re paying for expertise this person doesn’t have. Find a new person.
Yeah I agree I wouldn’t ask for her again. I was just assigned however they do such things at a blowout bar. I’d never been to one before so I’m not really sure the etiquette. If I go to this one again, can I say, please not her?
Yes and yes. You can ask for the person not to use high heat and you can ask for a different stylist. Say both of these things at the time you book the appointment and then repeate the no-high-heat when you sit in the chair in case the stylist wasn’t told.
Gently, it appears you need practice articulating your needs to service providers. This is actually a great opportunity to start building that skill. It will be uncomfortable the first time that you do it. And doing it is growing.
I don’t have experience with blowout bars, but my stylist always asks how I want it styled at the end of an appt. and she uses a blow dryer that is super low heat. So I don’t think the ask is unreasonable at all.
It’s the midwest in me, but it’s easier to request someone specific vs. not someone specific. If you noticed another stylist that seemed cool, you could describe them to the check in person.
You could also tell the check in person that you would like a blow out but with low heat – maybe they need to make sure that there’s more time for the service?
But also, as soon as you sit down in the chair (no matter if you told the check in person or not), specifically say you’d like low heat because your hair doesn’t react well to high heat.
I don’t know what stylist is going to do a blowout without high heat . . .
If
You don’t want heat don’t go to a blow dry bar
My husband just got a call back from his Derm after having a tiny spot removed a few weeks ago (half the size of a pencil eraser). It’s melanoma. Doc is optimistic that additional removal surgery by the plastic surgeon to make sure all the borders are out will be sufficient and all will be well. But this is legit cancer. Not telling anyone else IRL. We see the Derm every year I know it was caught as early as possible. This place can be really good at anecdotal hope and I need that please!
Here to provide you hope! The derm will make sure all of the borders are clear, and that’s *very likely the end of it*. Your husband should continue getting his skin checked, likely now every 6 months, and cut out the bad stuff if/as it comes up. But your doc’s optimism is right — this is very likely just fine.
Good on you for doing your annual skin checks and going ahead with the removal when it was recommended! My understanding is that it’s right to be optimistic in these circumstances and that this scenario is the reason all those skin checks are worth it. Very best wishes that you get the all is well outcome the dermatologist is predicting.
I had malignant melanoma on my back a few years ago. I’m diligent about skin checks with my derm, and he caught it quite early.
I had a wide area incision (it’s so much wider than you think it will be) that was also quite long. But I had clear margins and it was in situ.
For the next five years, I had twice a year skin checks and now I’m back to yearly.
I’m so glad he got checked (and I’m assuming you do too).
My best friend is going through this exact thing this week, and this post and the replies made me feel better. Thanks for asking this.
Several members of my family have had skin cancer removed. They are diligent with skin checks now. I think skin cancer is one of the easiest cancers to treat when caught early and the main risk is not being on top of it and the cancer spreading. You and your husband should continue with annual skin checks and perhaps more frequently for your husband. Also, obviously be diligent with sunscreen. Sounds like he will be fine though!
The dermatologist found a small melanoma when i was 30. Follow up surgery proved the borders were clear. I moved to quarterly derm skin checks, then semi annual, and now annual with the understanding that if i see something weird I can go to my derm anytime.
She takes photos of my skin, so she can compare any freckle/spot/etc to its previous dimensions.
I’ve had two pre-cancerous spots taken in the last 5 years, so this is definitely an ongoing project, but no melanoma recurrence to date.
It is good news it was found early. My additional removal surgery was super quick, and the borders came back clear. It is a weird mental space to be in after it is diagnosed and before the all clear. Hang tight through that.
What in the midwest 80’s art teacher is this skirt?!?!
Yeah. I just bought a denim dress from Boden and I hate myself for it. The aesthetic is growing on me.
I think it’s really cute.
I do too.
I do too. I don’t think it reads art teacher unless you take the whole styling in a more whimsical direction, I’d totally wear this with a sleek/crisp top.
Midwest ’80s art teacher skirts seem to be the theme this week.