Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Natalia Pants
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I have to admit that I’m struggling with work pants right now.
There’s no real prevailing trend at the moment, which means I actually have to sit down and figure out which fits look best on me. (And as a 40-something, having to admit that what looks best on me today is not at all what looked best on me 15 years ago!)
As a short-legged, curvy lady, I’m finding that I am really leaning into a slightly flared trouser, and fortunately, there are a lot of great options out there.
The Natalia pant from J. Crew is a new-ish addition, and I’m really liking the range of colors and sizes available. I’ve been wearing the black, but I’m thinking about getting the “French Press” color for autumn.
The pants are $158 and come in classic sizes 00-24, petite sizes 00-12 and tall sizes 0-16. Select colors are down to $94, and cropped styles are 50% off already marked down prices.
Going on a hunt for work pants? As of 2025, we think the best work pants for women include longtime favorites such as Nic + Zoe, Theory, NYDJ, J.Crew, and M.M.LaFleur — as well as trendy brands like Spanx, and Favorite Daughter. For budget-friendly styles, check Quince, Old Navy, and Amazon seller Tapata.
Sales of note for 8/21/25:
- Ann Taylor – $20 sale types (select styles), 25% off tops and sweaters, and extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles with code
- Dermstore – 20% off the Anniversary Edit
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off all sale
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off late summer styles, plus extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything and extra 15% off $100+
- M.M.LaFleur – Up to 70% off new markdowns – try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
- Neiman Marcus – Last call designer sale! Spend $200, get a $50 gift card (up to $2000+ spend with $500 gift card)
- Nordstrom – 9,800+ new women's markdowns
- Rothy's – Ooh: limited edition T-strap flats / Mary Janes
- Spanx – End of summer sale
- Talbots – 25% off your regular price purchase, also, end-of-season clearance
- Tuckernuck – Sample sale, prices up to 70% off! (Including lots of this bestselling work dress marked to under $75)
Hopefully a bland topic! Curious to know how regular your bowel movements are and if that’s correlated to diet?
I’ll go first. I am super regular like 8 am every day regular. If I eat a big trash meal or lack fibre or something the regularity gets thrown off though. I do not like the feelings of my insides when I’m not regular.
I go most days but the timing is not super consistent.
I’m anywhere from every 1-3 days. Since I hit peri and have some fibroids I’ve had to add occasional prunes to keep it that regular but I don’t really notice a difference in my body or how I feel if I’m a little beyond that range.
I go once a day but not at a particular time.
I’m jealous of people with that kind of regularity. I’ve never been regular, and now that I’m on a GLP-1, it’s even more unpredictable.
This level of regularity is only achieved through a specific diet and lots of veg/fibre. If I eat whatever I want my body does not do this.
I have slow stomach emptying, so lots of veg/fiber is problematic and slows things down. I’m not on a GLP-1, but I wonder if fiber helps or just makes things worse for people who are experiencing delayed emptying.
i had that problem when i was on wegovy (and the nastiest burps). i was trying to eat the opposite things like saltine crackers, eggs, and chicken to help my stomach out.
(and if you’re into MJ gummies, those make it way worse!)
No not necessarily. It depends on the person, and even for a person it can vary with age, etc. I don’t eat particularly well and have never had issues with regularity.
Same. And first thing every morning without fail.
Same. Coffee works wonders for me. But I know people who are regular without coffee too.
Same. And I know people my age who were taking metamucil in their 20s. I think I am well hydrated (but on garbage beverages with caffeine) and eat a diet that is a solid B — not horrible, but not perfect. Desk snacks are dried fruit or Honey Nut Cheerios.
Agree. Sometimes people just have a fast metabolism or, in this case, good digestion. I have other issues that most people don’t have like allergies etc. It’s just luck of the draw.
I’m also on a GLP1. While it’s far less on a schedule, I can absolutely anticipate when I’m going to need to go. I don’t find it too problematic overall. I’m not sure if that’s common or not, but it’s been almost 18 months and I’m feeling pretty good about where I’m at. Hoping the same for you!
This has changed for me over the years, and especially once I started tirzepetide, but I can tell you the one thing that will make it certain I have to go is if I have something big and important to do later that day. As one example, I speak at conferences a lot, and even though mentally I am no longer nervous to do so, it is like clockwork on those days!
Once at a very stressful job someone referred to “conference day shits” and I thought that couldn’t be a thing – it is totally a thing
I have IBS-D and acute anxiety definitely stimulates your bowels! Even “good” nervousness has the same effect (like if you’re excited for a big event). I’ve learned to take imodium preventatively on those days.
Fascinating. So I just need to find more exciting things in my life on a regular basis!
Every morning but the consistency isn’t as regular as it should be (IBS stuff). I find it kind of stressful because I’m outdoorsy and if for some reason I don’t go or I have to be up really early to travel before my body is ready and then I miss the window, I just feel off.
I go 2 or 3 times a day, usually right after breakfast and then at random times during the day. I’m mostly vegetarian, and when I eat more meat, things slow down to once a day.
+1 for 2-4 times a day, depending on how many meals.
After morning coffee, and then 4-5 hours after each real meal.
Omnivore, low starch, next to no ultra processed.
2x a day, low cholesterol vegetarian, after morning and post lunch coffee.
At least once a day, almost always first thing in the morning but sometimes other times too. I eat a lot of fiber, but not really deliberately.
1x a day. Annoyingly my clock shifted later during WFH years and it now loves to go right when I need to be leaving for the office!
Yes! I remember telling my sister that my poop schedule was no longer optimized for return to office! I’m still hybrid and WFH more than in the office, but thankfully I’m back on an early schedule again.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I poop on company time!
lolol
2-3 times a week.
I take magnesium oxide every night for regularity. I have a birth injury so no matter how perfect my diet is, I often still need a boost.
I’ve become more regular but that’s because I have 2 tbsps of chia seeds and 2 tbsps of ground flax every morning.
In what format? I add chia to yoghurt but don’t really like the texture of flax in yoghurt. I don’t mind it in oatmeal but don’t eat that every day.
In warm months I put it in yogurt with granola so I don’t know this texture issue. Otherwise, in oatmeal.
Every morning like clockwork, it’s when I read this blog.
As an aside, when I had 3 kids with 2 in diapers, and I was married, I had everyone’s poop schedule in my house memorized. Now kids are all older, I am divorced and I feel more irregular but also that spot in my brain feels so free.
Man I am SO envious of all of you guys. I developed IBS in college and now would say I go anywhere from 5-10 times a day. And especially anytime I have to go somewhere. The anxiety urge is REAL.
I have vague recollections of a time when I would wake up and go first thing and then maybe 1-2x more throughout the day, but it just hasn’t been my reality for 10+ years now unfortunately.
What kinds of reflections or atonement do you do when you realize you’re a bit of an asshole? Is there anything to do other than resolve to do/be better?
I get increasingly specific, and then target those areas. It is my opinion that few people truly are assholes through and through. Assholery can manifest in different behaviors — do I have road rage? Interrupt people when they’re talking, or make topics all about me? Micromanage people? Dismiss them? Gossip about them?
And then zero in on the exact behaviors, how I feel when I start to do them, what’s prompting me to do them, and begin practicing alternative behaviors.
“I often interrupt people because I’m feeling impatient when I don’t care about their topic, or feel like I already know what they’re going to say. I would prefer to have a smooth conversation and invest in the relationship, so instead of interrupting with my topic, I will listen closely and try to think of a follow-up question to their topic.”
For me, changing behaviors requires a lot of introspection to realign some internal values I don’t know I hold. The above practice helps me out when I feel like I’m crossing a line.
Try to be thoughtful about what the AH behavior was, what non-AH behavior would have been (i.e. what I should have done instead) and why did I do the AH behavior instead of the non-AH behavior? Can I address the root causes of the “why” to prevent the AH behavior in the future? Then, for this specific AH behavior, what can I do to repair the situation? And forgive myself – we are human, we are not perfect. It’s ok to make a mistake, but also try to be better moving forward and not let yourself off the hook.
I remind myself two things:
I don’t always have the information for why people act the way they do. Sometimes if they’re doing something that makes me want to be a jerk to them, it’s because they are having issues beyond the scope of our relationship. Having an explanation helps me tone it down.
I remind myself that even if I feel like getting impatient with someone because they’re droning on about something that bores me or they need my attention when I’m pulled into a lot of different directions, I can make a huge difference in their enjoyment of the conversation by engaging and asking questions. Think of the difference between these convos:
Your husband: “I just heard from my boss that my raise should go through after all!”
Response A: “cool. Did you get the milk?”
Response B: “oh wow, that’s so great! I’m so glad to hear it. Did he say when it might be?”
Active engagement is key. Also, in general, don’t ruin someone’s fun just because your day was stressful. Think of the dynamic when a mother gets a 3-hour break from childcare and comes home refreshed, only to be greeted with frustration and anger from her partner who struggles while she was gone.
I apologize, first. And then I really look internally to figure out why. Was I overwhelmed, was I scared, did I need to not engage with that conversation at that particular time? And then I try to implement what I learned.
Honestly, therapy. I have anxiety and it causes me to have really intense emotional reactions to things that should in the greater scheme of things be pretty irrelevant. It’s not perfect, but learning to acknowledge that and recognize the pattern helps me keep it under control. Regular exercise and time for myself also helps.
I dial down my talking for a bit. People are relieved to have the space to talk and it keeps me from slipping into the communication pattern that was a problem.
I found out my baseline was chronically anxious. Genuinely, I was constantly anxious, and I legitimately did not realize it, as it was my baseline. But absolutely everything set me off into a rage. I left a Big Job, and started having more downtime, less intensity during the day. I’m a whole lot nicer now. My dad is this way, and doesn’t recognize it as anxiety. It makes me sad for him, but there’s not much we can do.
As someone parenting a toddler, my gut instinct is to respond with “you’re not an asshole, you’re just making some asshole choices, and you can learn how to behave differently with some practice and support.”
The reflection is what behaviors are the worst, what’s the root of the problem, do I need to ask for some support in trying to change my patterns, etc.
Give me all of your quick-easy recipes for weeknight dinners and school lunches. Bonus points for vegetarian meals. It’s back to school week and I am already out of ideas! Quesadillas again!
Grilled cheese and tomato soup
Pasta with sauce
Canned black bean soup
Scrambled eggs
A simple curry (saute onion, garlic, ginger, curry powder), then add vegetables and garbanzo beans or tofu. The more the ingredients are pre-prepped, like jarred minced ginger and frozen veg, the faster it is.
For school lunches, I love leftovers. Also, ants on a log.
-‘asian’ bagged salad and spring rolls or dumplings
– vegan Caesar bagged salad with chik’n nuggets, either as a salad or in a wrap
– curry (jar of sauce, can of chickpeas, whatever veg I feel that night peas, carrots, potatoes etc) with basmati rice and naan
– pizza! premade dough, jarres sauce, whatever veg inspires me, and cheese
– sloppy joes (manwich doesn’t contain any meat! I mix it with a combo of lentils and beyond)
– batch cook bean chili, then it can be pulled out of the freezer to eat as is or with boxed mac to make chili mac, or on veggie dogs for chili dogs.
– gnocchi, it’s the fastest ‘pasta’ Sautee up some veg and use jarred sauce, voila!
I bought the Feeding Littles school lunch book and it’s genuinely full of amazing ideas. Highly recommend.
School lunch, or kids pack their own lunch. You might need to help a kindergartner, but anyone older than that should be able to manage it pretty independently.
All currently sitting in my fridge courtesy of the deli section at the local grocery store:
– beef chili
– chicken noodle soup
– pulled pork with matching buns and bread and butter pickles for sandwiches
– turkey pastrami for sandwiches
I realize none of this is vegetarian, but it’s easy and it’s healthy and that’s good enough.
Shakshuka with eggs – really only requires a 28 oz can of tomatoes, some feta, eggs and pita bread for dipping. Add an onion and some green herbs if you want to be fancy about it. NYT has a great Melissa Clark recipe.
In the vein of quesadillas, we also do tacos – fillings vary from fish to chicken, steak or sweet potatoes & black beans.
For something even easier, we do make your own pizza. I buy naan, pizza sauce, shredded cheese and whatever else for toppings & everyone makes a pie. My kids LOVE this.
Eggs for dinner. Pancakes for dinner.
TJ frozen gnocchi sautéed in a pan with some spinach thrown in for the grown up or a side arugula salad … or non-frozen gnocchi from the nice Italian store on a sheet pan with veggies (broccoli works well).
For lunch, my kids are not very adventurous. We usually do a bento box with fruit, cheese, some pita bread and some kind of “snacky” thing like goldfish crackers or pretzels. Recently they’ve agreed to eat hard boiled eggs so I’ll throw that in for protein. Or we’ll do a thermos of dumplings (from frozen) or Mac-n-cheese. Orzo makes. Nice room temperature pasta salad if you think they’ll eat it. Sometimes I do that with some shelled edamame or corn.
Veggie stir fry kit fresh or frozen + brown rice in the rice cooker + frozen cooked chicken (Bought or meal prepped and frozen)
From frozen boiled shrimp + garlic bread + salad (perhaps bagged salad)
Salmon in the air fryer + boxed rice pilaf in the rice cooker + toasted broccoli from frozen in the oven.
When things are truly chaotic, I am a fan of breakfast for dinner. French toast, eggs and tater tots, pancakes with fruit, granola and yogurt, even just a bowl of cereal (although I try to avoid sugar bomb options).
If you’re a vegetarian you probably already have this, but the Moosewood Cooks at Home is a terrific book of quick weeknight vegetarian dinners.
I spend a lot of time thinking about dinner, so writing these down! Some of our favorite quick and simple meals:
-dumplings and steamed green bean or broccoli or edamame
– breakfast sandwiches
– black bean tacos. (Heat two cans of black beans with garlic and cumin, while that heats chop cabbage and mango for a quick slaw. Mash the beans. Eat with tortillas, sour cream, and sliced avocado.). Shrimp tacos are also fast.
– Rao’s marinara sauce and angel hair pasta. Bagged salad.
-ramen. Usually with a soft cooked egg and whatever vegetables are in the fridge.
– pasta salad- i make Jenny Rosenstrach’s marinated beans, and toss it with pasta, add tomatoes and cucumbers.
– baked teriyaki tofu (America’a Test Kitchen’s Vegan for Everyone’s cook book has a great recipe – it bakes for 30 mins but the assembly is 20 mins, including making the sauce) we eat with rice and steamed broccoli
-peanut noodles with shredded carrots, cucumbers, and edamame.
-Meera Sodha’s recipe for vegan green pasta- basil, parsley, silken tofu, nutritional yeast, spinach and miso blended into a pasta sauce. Really good. Sodha writes a column in the Guardian featuring unfussy vegan cooking.
As for lunch; My kids get the same thing every day for lunch, and it saves a bunch of mental energy for me:
Ham and cheese sandwich (or PB & J), half an apple cut up, four slices of cucumber, and a treat they pick out (this week it’s pretzels and peanut m&ms).
Sometimes I get bored of making it, but they don’t complain so I’m not inclined to mix it up right now.
Does anyone have a MA/CT/NY fee-only (or project based) FA/CFP?
My father died & as dust settles, I will have $2ish million of inherited IRA/annuity
I am independent enough with investing that I don’t want someone to take 1% of it AUM, but I do need short term triage. I have a great job, max out 401/ira, mortgage under 4%. The idea of this money is going to make me sad how young my dad died without spending it all – so I want to use it well, have a kid, be tax-smart, etc.
I’m happy with Schwab high net worth’s financial advisors. They take a fee but invest well.
No advice on an advisor, but I’m sorry for your loss.
I know it sounds silly to give someone 1%, but it gives you peace of mind. I worked in the financial industry for years; I had to read prospectuses as part of my job; I read industry newsletters daily. I still pay someone to manage my assets. I want someone to rebalance when the asset allocation is off and to pick different funds when something goes sideways. It doesn’t guarantee any return, but it puts the responsibility for monitoring onto someone else. Also, depending on the type of investments you want, your fees should be lower than 1%. It might (but won’t necessarily) be that high on the first million, but should be discounted after that. Good luck in your search.
Sue Danson at NewShoreFinancial.com has a one-time engagement model that was really helpful for me.
White coat investor website has a list of recommended fee only advisors. I’d interview a few from there.
Speaking of pants, this is awkward, but basically since having kids (10 years ago now, so obviously not temporary), I find that any type of structured pants just won’t stop riding up and digging into my . . . sensitive areas. It doesn’t help much to go up in size (unless they’re comically big everywhere else). Shorts are the worst, but dress pants are challenging, too, to the point that I rarely wear them to work even though I’d like to. Does anyone else have this issue? Is there anything I can do to fix it?
No advice, just consideration. I got over my feeling that midi dresses with fuller shirts are too Gunne Sax for work because I can actually get something that reliably fits and is comfortable. Le sigh. Pants just aren’t reliable and I have hips and a stomach that don’t seem to work — sizing up just gets me too large of a waist and crotch drop (and tailoring is expensive and often poorly done in my city or maybe I am gaining shape / weight faster than I should be).
The problem is probably related to the pattern used for the pants and how the curve of the rise seam is shaped. This is why going up in size doesn’t fix it. If you have a pair of pants or jeans that fit well, turn them inside out and put the legs together, so you can see the curve of that seam. Do the same thing with pants that don’t fit, and compare that curve. If you see an obvious difference, you might be able to try the same test when you shop for pants, looking for the kind of curve that works well for your shape.
+1 Men have this too, by the way. It’s because of the extra volume that is low on the stomach where the fly is. It pulls out which pulls the rest of the fabric up.
I don’t know of any fix beyond trying on a lot of pants, I’m afraid
The best solution I’ve found is curvy cuts or stretchy fabrics. Many retailers have zip up pants with a stretch waistband in the back – the Fold ones below are surprisingly comfy for a full day of wear.
https://thefoldlondon.com/product/tavira-slim-leg-trousers-sapphire-blue-stretch-tailoring/?_gl=1*13ozzhz*_up*MQ..&gclid=CjwKCAiA8Lu9BhA8EiwAag16b3p0SCxQkNfrHOrqIISpXd2vHCL0eMKJLRazZy4Q4NxZP05FlYppexoCa6cQAvD_BwE
You need a longer rise. Not just “high rise” cuts (which, although those might work better than mid-rise, usually just mean there is more length from the bottom of the zipper to the waistband), but also more length starting from where the 4-way crotch inseam joins all the way to the top of the waistband.
Check out tall versions, especially for shorts. They don’t always have longer inseams, but true tall versions are designed with a this longer rise to better fit someone who needs more room from your bits to your belly button.
there’s a social media person who tests out shorts including whether or not they ride up — she calls it something like her thighs eating the shorts? i’m misremembering it because it’s cute and not sexual when she does it and i know exactly what she means. but yeah – i just don’t wear shorts like that anymore because they ride up on the inner thigh.
is this what your pants are doing also, riding up? do they start off feeling ok and get worse or are they like this from putting them on? hate to suggest daily shapewear but i wonder if it might actually be more comfortable with a compression underwear type thing. i also would guess the problem would be worse in flowy pants, even though that might be what you’re choosing because they seem like they’ll be more comfortable.
It’s immrsspacecadet on instagram–she calls it “crotch gobbling”. Her reviews are useful but mostly focused on more athletic-type shorts.
For OP, I agree with an above poster that curvy cuts are better for me on this issue. I also think it’s related, at least somewhat, to my anterior pelvic tilt, and working on core strength/orientation and posture (through my mid- and low-back and hips, not just the upper back and shoulders) has helped too.
This actually is fixable with a good tailor! You can adjust an inseam to be longer by basically cutting out the seam and stitching it back lower.
A truly analog request, but where can I buy a nice globe these days?
Is it just for decor or do you actually want to use it for its intended purpose?
If decor I’d go with an antique, look at auction sites, FB marketplace, etc.
In a previous life, I used to buy globes (and many other items) for a now out of business retailer. Replogle is the vendor we used most. I would check out their page to see if they have what you need.
Replogle is what you want. They used to even update globes if countries changed names/borders etc.
This is perfect, thank you!
I got my beautiful globe from Metsker Maps in Seattle. They shipped it with no problems. https://metskermaps.com/
They have them in antique stores. I’d buy one there.
I live behind a boulevard where drag racers regularly go at least 50-75 mph over the speed limit – it’s almost a nightly occurrence but especially on the weekend. The cars have modifications to make them as loud as possible and I’m not sure if they’re legal. It’s also notoriously dangerous otherwise because of the layout and high general speed; a father and his baby were killed by a drunk driver who crossed the unprotected median a few years ago and there have been at least two other fatal accidents in just a 3/4 mile stretch since I’ve lived here. I sent an email to my city’s traffic enforcement division a few years ago and was told the section was being considered for traffic calming, but nothing has changed. What would a reasonable next step be to try to get some enforcement? Beyond the obvious risks to life, the noise pollution from this is out of control. The street that I live on is populated by lower-income families and lots of immigrants in an otherwise fairly wealthy and homogenous area. I don’t like the unfairness of no enforcement here when it wouldn’t be tolerated for even one night a zip code over. Any ideas? Moving isn’t an option right now, although I hope it will be soon.
Bother your alderman?
What is that??
A very specific Chicago city-council thing
I would be reaching out to traffic enforcement regularly, as well as city/local leadership and elected officials. I’d also encourage any and all neighbors to do the same, and make it as easy as possible for them to do so (providing contact info and suggested wording).
I’m sorry. Irresponsible driving scares and angers me so much.
Call the police when it’s happening.
TV news?
Email your city council members. Or make public comment at a meeting.
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. In my town, it often takes a bunch of neighbors repeatedly and politely complaining to get anything done. That means getting as many people as possible to call the police for enforcement as drag races are happening, along with calling your city council members, going to city council meetings, writing to the chief of police, etc.
The key is to get as many people as possible to (politely) keep drawing attention to the issue.
A group of very dedicated people in my old neighborhood were able to get the city to add medians and other traffic-calming elements to a dangerous stretch of road. It takes a while, but it can be done.
The police where I live generally recommend that everyone impacted by an issue call in with as many details as possible about the problem every single time that it is happening. I guess they need a serious paper trail if they’re going to reallocate resources? And while the wealthy and homogeneous people a zip code over have many other advantages, they are also making these calls and creating this paper trail.
The other thing they said specifically about the racers is that they’re not allowed to chase down street racers anymore because high speed chases are too dangerous. So they’re getting left in the dust by people they tried to pull over.
A harm reduction effort my city has not tried but which other cities have is to build an off road race track.
Would you call the non-emergency line? The cars pass and are gone for the night (who knows where) so I don’t think there’s any chance of catching them if an officer isn’t on duty right there.
Yes, the non-emergency line. In my city, I think there’s no chance of catching them even if an officer is on duty right there because of the “no chase” rule. But make/model, license plate number, etc., cannot hurt if they happen to be possible to provide. But my understanding is that the main thing is to report every incident so they have a record of the extent of the problem, and for as many people as want change to report it individually so that it’s on record as affecting a bunch of different people.
Call and report it to the police every single time. Figure out who your town representative is and complain to them every time. Go to town meetings and speak at public comment about it.
I would consider the various types of remedies: police with speed traps, police cruisers going up and down the roads, or road modifications (red lights with cameras, speed tables, a median strip that is installed in such a way as to slow down traffic ).
Cynically, it can be hard to get enforcement in such areas, because enforcement is portrayed as being racist. Your best bet is to ensure that the rest of the community wants this fixed. Get your neighbours to go with you to city council meetings. Flip the script: allowing this particular area to be so unsafe and not enforcing the laws is unfair to the immigrant community.
Find your neighborhood group and join them to get calming put in. It can take years but that’s the only way I’ve seen it work. Neighborhood groups have to show up at all of the local meetings, contact their representatives, etc to make themselves heard on the issue.
This. Nextdoor, facebook, reddit etc for your city or neighboorhood will get you connected with your neighbors and the community groups that advocate for pedestrian and bike safety. Start attending your ward, neighboorhood or city council, or alderman meetings.
Traffic, pedestrian and bike safety is a huge topic on these venues for my city.
Oof, I used to live on a street with this exact issue (are you in Nashville by any chance??). The police appreciated the calls every single time to the non-emergency line and we created enough of a paper trail that they eventually would send out helicopters/drones to track the drag racers since it was too dangerous to the community to try to pull them over, and then they would be able to track the car a. They also put concrete blockers in a parking lot nearby that I guess helped to stop the donuts / spinning that people do before drag racing. If your neighbors utilize NextDoor, that’s helpful to coordinate calls to the non-emergency line to track when and where this happens.
Can you or someone else in your neighborhood safely set up a web cam to catch license plates, or at least images of the cars? If they are heavily modified they will be distinctive enough to be identified.
Ugh that sounds miserable. I would call the police every time it happens. And do everything in my power to move ASAP.
When it happens, call the police non-emergency line. Keep a record of every.single.time it happens. Reach out to neighbors and ask them to complain if they feel comfortable. Also see if you can get in touch with traffic enforcement again to see about potential calming improvements.
Contact city council member or members to complain as well. How does your municipality feel about red-light cameras or license plate readers? Both might be useful.
Do you have any Bike Evangelists in your general area? They might take up the torch and start lobbying for a bike lane on the boulevard, which would slow down traffic.
How should women’s dress pants (like these) fit from behind? The back on the pictures of the lighter colors looks snug. On me (very much junk in the trunk), I fear the cupping (is there a word for this effect)? I feel that I can wear jeans but that suiting pants show too much u less under a jacket. Help!
I don’t know if there’s a “should” anymore. So many women grew up wearing skinnies and leggings for so many years that they wear their dress pants with the same fit. I prefer a fit for trousers where the pants hang down nicely from the curve of the bum, rather than cupping it. Or for more slim-cut pants, that there is plenty of ease for the pants to follow the shape of the body without hugging it or being glued skin tight.
Pants fit is hard, because body shapes are so individual, and there are so many fit points to get a pair of pants to fit well.
I feel like that is half determined by the cut/shape/design of the pants, and half by the body shape and how it fits into the cut of those pants.
Not sure what you mean by cupping. My main concern with a snug fit in the back would be that overall tightness could be uncomfortable for my stomach.
Re the cupping — it’s that when I am peak hip area, there is plenty of hip and fullness just south of that that is really noticeable (so it’s opposite not the stomach but the top of my thighs on the front). Waist area is fine. I feel that I almost need full-length culloutes or something very full the length of the leg so that my pants don’t look so Baby Got Back from the rear view (the front still seems fairly sedate). I am not sure what the fix is, but hopefully this describes the problem better. Those longish cardigans from a few years ago hid it well but I’d rather just have pants that fit.
That’s the way pants are supposed to fit. If the pockets lay flat and they are comfortable in the waist, they fit. They arent meant to conceal that you have a butt. You would either need to size up so they’re baggy and then tailor the waist down or find pants with more drape. I personally have a butt too but I don’t have an issue with that. It would be different if they were too small and I couldn’t sit in them.
Maybe? But I feel that there is a Work Kardashian look that I’m trying to avoid, in favor of something like a Christine LaGarde work look (in fact, would be most interested in what she wears off-duty also). Does that make sense? I feel like I’m always hiding in midi-skirts these days because they are fuller and just need to fit in the waist.
It makes sense but I wouldn’t describe those photos as a Kardashian look.
I personally have found Loft curvy pants, Talbot’s, and even J. Crew factory to have better pants than J. Crew for people with butts. I buy more dresses and tops at J. Crew than bottoms for this reason. The struggle to find bottoms that accommodate hips and butts at any size is a struggle.
I have substantial junk in the trunk and don’t like the reactions to it at work if I wear tight pants. Some retailers cut for more volume in the hip. J. Crew is not one of them. At various price points I have had good luck with Express trousers, Ralph Lauren trousers, Tahari suiting, Talbots suiting, Boden suiting, Trina Turk trousers, and St John trousers. Try until you find options that work for you, and shop those as your base to either make suits or add unmatched jackets.
FWIW, OP, the “burnished saddle” look OK in the butt to me; the “graphite” and navy strike me as too tight for a work look.
Do you know of any banks or brokerages in the EU or Switzerland that may be willing to open an account for US citizens who still reside in the US? And have wealth that is commensurate with having worked in Big Law and saved a lot (so, not anywhere near family office levels)?
Alternatively, any recommendations for financial advisors for US citizens who reside in the US who want to explore investing in Europe beyond holding European stocks in a US brokerage?
My relatives who own property in London and Athens but primarily reside in the US have accounts at Euro Bank.
Make sure you are aware of how you need to disclose this account on your taxes.
Also, what is a European bank? Many have offices in the US also. Many US Banks have a presence in Europe. A US broker dealer or US mutual fund can have foreign stock (which trades here as ADRs).
Northern Trust might be able to help depending on asset levels. Definitely don’t need family office but there is a threshold.
UBS will definitely open accounts for US citizens who live here.
I’m insufficiently wealthy to understand how this is beneficial if you are properly doing your US taxes. Do you just like filing FBARs lol?
I would start with UBS. They may have income / wealth cut-offs, but I am not certain.
Seeking advice: I am a non-equity third year partner in AmLaw 100 firm on the east coast. We opened an office for our firm in our market in 2022. We are a fairly small office, with approx. 10 attorneys, plus admins and staff. We are making 2 associates partners in January 2026. One I have worked with closely, and know he has attitude issues and other undesirable traits–poor judgment being chief among them. I’ve voiced this to my OMP in the past, but they have a real bromance going. OMP has suggested he’s starting to see that this individual is overly-competitive, a shit-talker, etc., but I feel like I can no longer discuss this issue with my OMP. I had a baby in December and came back to work in late March. During that time and since, this to-be-partner has said he aimed to take my clients while I was on leave, that he does not think highly of me as an attorney, that kind of thing–fairly routine shit-talk in a law firm. I have concerns he and I will be cannibalizing one another, particularly because we practice in the same area, once they make him partner. How can I get ahead of this? Ask my OMP for right of first refusal for new matters in our area that I don’t bring in personally but that would traditionally be “mine,” absent this new partner? Start the annoying process of pushing this dude out? I am primary earner for my family and feeling the pressure.
You documented the hell out of this guy saying he was going to poach your clients when you were on leave, right? RIGHT?
Being as I was on leave, how on earth would I create a paper trail of those activities? I got it all via calls from my allies in the office. I took notes on those. But obviously I wasn’t CC’d on his shady e-mails, etc.
That does not solve anything. OP, talk to the OMP and anyone else who votes. Blackball this dude. Get people lined up with you.
You need to speak with someone above your OMP, as your office is small so OMP does not have much power politically. Do you have any allies in other offices that you can “vent” to about this issue?
Build super strong bonds with your clients so they have zero interest in working with your competitor. If they are coming back to you with repeat matters, make sure you document that in your internal review. Build direct bonds with other people in the firm who can send you work. Unless you are at Jones Day, in which case normal advice about standing up for yourself will totally backfire.
Has your social life completely gone back to what it was before the 2020 shut downs? If yes, what does it look like now? If no, what lingering impacts are you seeing?
No, there was a lot of concerts and yoga as socialization in my life pre pandemic. Tours just aren’t as prolific as they used to be and yoga seems very 9-5 now which is hard to fit into my schedule. I still hang out with people but I prefer to do it at an activity.
People cancel plans so much more! I am guilty of it too, and it is often because I am or someone in my house is sick, but it’s happening a lot more than pre-2020.
Texting and other digital communication absolutely exploded in my life during the pandemic, and people still seem to think that’s “good enough.” There are fewer in person get togethers. I miss the days where my friends wanted to get a beer after a hard day at work; now, I just get a text venting about it. It’s not the same.
Getting spontaneous drinks after work is nonexistent for me and my friends now too, because they’re all moms. I miss those days!
My social life is much better now than it was pre-pandemic. I moved across the country in 2017, had a baby in 2018 and had not really emerged from the post-baby bubble and met anyone in our new city when lockdown started. Kid started daycare in fall 2019 but wasn’t old for things like class parties where you meet other parents. Now kid is in elementary school, we know tons and tons of families in our neighborhood and town through her, I’m involved in her activities and have made mom friends tha way, and we also socialize regularly with several of my husband’s colleagues who have kids in the same general age range. Separate from kid stuff, I also started an adult dance and have a friend group from that.
Yes.
Yes and no. Pre pandemic I had a really fun group of coworkers in my huge office that I spend a ton of time with and considered friends. Wfh, combined with some horrible pandemic related mental health issues I suffered, killed those friendships and I got a new job. So no, we’re not back to that. But I’ve made new friends and mostly socialize in the same ways just with different people. I miss the more clearly defined group though. Friends for a reason, friends for a season and all of that.
The same but it took intention. We host a lot of parties and get togethers and brought the people back so to speak. Also helped that we’re all older now and out of the kids taking over everything phase of life.
No. To be fair, I’ve had kids since then, so it wouldn’t be the same anyway. For example, I used to have a trivia group, and it’s not like we’d be doing that right now anyway.
Something I have noticed is different is the lack of attendance at “events.” I used to regularly go to happy hours with an organization I’m part of. I never really made plans with anyone else to go– you just knew a lot of people you knew would be there.
Same for both. My friend circle has shifted, but it’s hard to pin that on the pandemic when half a decade in our 30s means a lot of couples had babies and we all got more settled into careers etc. I assume most of those changes would have happened anyway.
I also see that it’s much harder to activate people from the office for anything. I’m not advocating for startup life, but happy hour a few times a year is not a crazy ask.
Mostly the same, although less group dinners at restaurants and more concerts or big travel trips. We are childless DINKs and have a friend circle of other child free by choice friends with disposable income that live within walking/running distance. It really is the set up for a sitcom.
This is a challenging question because five years have passed and so many are not in the same life stage. But to answer your question, I think my social life is so much better. My kids are now in elementary school, they have friends, we have friends, we do activities, my career has advanced a TON so I have more money to do cool stuff and pay a babysitter. One thing that changed for me with COVID that has not gone back is that with COVID, I learned how to work out from an app instead of in a class, and have never gone back. I JUST started going back to a gym instead of doing it at home. This is not about COVID though, it’s all about schedule and timing. WAY easier to do it on the Sweat app on my own time.
Completely returned. Something social probably 6 nights a week: dates, happy hour with friends, a social hobby, potluck dinner with friends, etc.
Early 30s, SINK, in the city.
No, but not because of the pandemic or being afraid of COVID or anything like that. I’m 5 years older and now 40 and I don’t want to go out to bars all the time anymore. :)
As someone who was 25 when the pandemic started and is now 31, it’s changed only in that I’m older and my interests have changed.
Less going “out out”, more dating, hosting people at my apartment, socializing through hobbies as opposed to just grabbing drinks (but there is still plenty of grabbing drinks). Nights end earlier but I’m also more likely to wake up early on a Saturday morning to meet up with friends on the trail.
Friends are starting to get married, buy houses, move to the burbs, and have babies, which obviously changes things too.
I still have a lot of childfree in the city friends (some single, some not; some homeowners, some not), but also have friends in the burbs and friends with kids. I still see those friends, but less frequently and around train schedules (suburb friends) or kids nap schedules and early bedtimes, or both.
But, between dates, and hosting friends at my apartment or going to theirs, or grabbing happy hour, getting tickets to a sporting event or convert, or a run with my run club friends, social sports leagues, or weekly quizzo, I’m still socializing probably 20-25 days a month.
No, this is a shadow of what life was like back then.
To be fair, it wasn’t just COVID but everyone scattered when they bought houses and had babies and we see each other maybe once a year instead of once a month.
It’s been better- more time with fewer people who “bubbled” with us during the pandemic.
less happy hours, with the shift from lots of friends working downtown every day to mostly hybrid. other than that it’s the same besides changes with stage of life – e.g. friends who had kids, etc.
I’ve actually joined a few more regular groups after realizing what I missed during 2020, so it’s more social now if anything.
I’m seeking some kind words here. I’ve avoided doctors for a really long time. I got the courage to go to a primary care doc in January. It was fine. I’m seeing the dentist next week. It’s only been a year and a half but that’s going to be hard.
I just scheduled my first and very overdue mammogram and my first Pap smear in way too long. I’m absolutely freaking out. Just panicking that the doctors will find something awful. I know rationally that I need to do this. It doesn’t help that my own mom hasn’t seen a doctor in 40 years, except for orthopedic issues. I’m in a bit of a shame spiral about not being a grown up and deserving something awful to happen. Any words of encouragement?
The odds of you having cancer are very low (especially since you don’t mention symptoms), but the best time for you to find out you have cancer is now. If it’s inside your body, it’s inside your body, and it’s better to know it’s inside your body so you can address it than to not know until it’s too late to do anything.
You got this. It’ll be easier than you think, I promise.
Oh, and I know you know this, but no one deserves to get cancer, and unless you’ve been sticking radioactive material up your bits for funsies, you really cannot control whether you will or won’t have it at some point in your life.
You’ve got this! Good for you taking care of your health. I had my first mammogram this year because I turned 40 and it was nowhere near as awful as I expected it to be. Even if it’s bad for you, it only takes a few minutes. You’ll get through it!
Also, just start flossing in the morning before you brush your teeth. I promise if you can keep this up the dentist will be 1000% six months from now when you go for another cleaning :) It is the only life-changing thing I’ve ever done that I’ve kept up for years now and it is SO MUCH BETTER.
Just sending a big hug. I went on a long hiatus from doctors after going through an extended period of health problems. I was lucky to recover fully, but I came out of it with some PTSD that I laughed off as being “doctored out,” but was definitely more than that and the prospect of another doctor’s visit gave me anxiety for years. I did go back when I was ready…and the doctors I saw understood what had happened, were supportive and gentle, and everything was fine.
What?! That’s great that you’re going! It’s always nerve wracking when you step out of your comfort zone, but if you can start going regularly for check ups and preventative care, it’ll become much more routine and comfortable. For me, going helps me feel like I’m doing what I can to make my future self healthy and comfortable. And of course, you’ll know from the board here that even if something is flagged in the exams, that it’s not necessarily a serious issue, and remember that your doctor and dentist should treat you with courtesy and take your concerns seriously, and if they don’t, you should look for a new provider.
The current rec for paps is every 5 years if prior ones have been normal, so you might not be as overdue as you think. I just had one at the 6 year mark (oops) and it was NBD.
Op. Yeah…yeah…real
Overdue even considering that. Head in hands. Part of me is still a young kid, absolutely incredulous that a doctor would insist on doing that to me.
Do you have a history of trauma relevant to this procedure? I do, and having a nice OB who I actually talked to about my past experiences and fears before doing it basically cured the issue for me.
Also, no judgment if you don’t!!! It’s fraught for a lot of women for a lot of reasons.
Yeah it’s just. I don’t know. The fact that there are specific doctors just for this? And you have to start going as a teenager, when nothing is wrong with you. And some of the doctors are men. The fact that they HAVE to put metal rods and their fingers inside you? And if you go to the wrong doc they might do it five times more often than recommended? It’s not cool to think about. Rationally, I know it’s necessary. I actually have an amazing midwife group where they’re about as nice as they can be and thank god all women but still. It’s kind of a horrible fact of life, isn’t it?
You’re doing the things! That’s what matters and will help you. Doctors deal with all sorts of crummy stuff all the time (insurance company malfeasance, patients who repeatedly fail to turn up to scheduled appointments, patients who want nonsensical treatment from their doctors “I don’t want to take [standard of care med]. I’ll take this natural remedy from TikTok.” A patients who is tardy in routine care is not going to register as even an annoyance.
If it makes you feel better, lots of responsible, health-literate people fall behind on routine care for themselves. Even doctors!
Many grown ups never go to the doctor. It’s very common to put it off, no need to feel shame over it. Unless you have concerning symptoms, you’re likely fine! And probably reasonably healthy if there was never an urgent reason compelling you to go.
Think of how calming it should be to go and get checked out and eliminate things to worry about.
Congrats to you for getting them scheduled! That sounds like a responsible, grown-up thing to me – honestly, sometimes it’s harder to look at the thing you’ve been avoiding, than to just keep up a habit of doing something you’ve always done. So to me, the kind of person with the courage and fortitude to get it on the calendar ABSOLUTELY has the courage and fortitude to go through with it. Keep on rocking it!
Re mammogram: 1) it’s really not bad and they don’t hurt nearly as much as I was expecting–it’s more just awkward/uncomfortable and 2) they very well might find something “suspicious” on the first one and have to do follow up (either more imaging or a biopsy. I had to have a biopsy after my first mammo). This is not uncommon because they don’t have a baseline to compare it to. Most of the time, it’s nothing. So DO NOT panic if they call you back for something.
I had my first recently. It did hurt, and it felt like I had a bruise after. But it was really quick, like 4 or 5 images total, and it wasn’t as bad as I thought.
I also had to have a follow up mammogram, which they said is common especially as I have larger breasts. The follow up was fine. It was to establish a baseline for the future. I had 3 small calcium deposits that are common in moms.
Being a little overdue happens! My mom in her 70s has never had a mammogram. Good for you taking care of yourself! Better late than never.
I had my first one recently and was bracing myself for pain because that’s what I had always heard. I was pleasantly surprised when it didn’t hurt at all! I just some pressure. It was more awkward getting myself and all my boob flesh into the right position than anything else.
I put off some appointments due to anxiety, work stress and life overwhelm, and then the compounding anxiety and shame spiral. You’re not alone, you’re doing your best, so try not to feel ashamed. I felt SO much better after I got them done. You will feel so much better!
Even people who regularly get screened get diagnosed with disease. Give yourself grace and applaud yourself for making a change. This is a new start for better habits.
In gardening they say the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The next best time is today. You are doing it! That’s what matters! You’re scared and you’re doing it anyway.
you’re doing great — sometimes you just have to do the thing!
if you haven’t had any symptoms everything is probably fine — if not it’s better to know before there are symptoms.
if you’re ok with the blood draw but hate seeing the doc, you might ask your doc if you could just message her to get the bloodwork paperwork yearly and skip the visit for when there’s actually something to discuss.
I’m terrified of doctors so I get you. Congrats on the primary care and the dentist!
It’s a little bit of a different situation but: Something that helped me a lot was (supported by therapy) feeling more in control of the medical experience. If they are rude or unprofessional, I can leave. If they give me scary information I can ask as many questions as I need to about it. I literally think of it as how would I go into a meeting at work? I have the same high level of expectation at a doctors office.
Lots of people neglect routine care. We are busy, it can be hard to find a good provider, we’re dealing with a time consuming issue that requires physical therapy, etc. So you won’t stand out from the crowd. And once you have someone you like, it will be easier to return. If you have small dense breasts, I would schedule the mammogram when you won’t have period sensitivity.
It’s nothing to be ashamed about. Most of us don’t follow all the health guidance. When going to the doctor can cost anywhere from $0 to catastrophic debt, there are times I’d rather just not know, either.
There are doctors that are jerks, sure, but most will be kind and happy that you came in now instead of in forty years. I’m hardly an optimist, but I’ve felt over the last 10-15 years a lot of doctors have gotten more empathetic and less “I know everything and you must do XYZ.” It’s going to be OK.
FWIW, I don’t find Pap smears particularly pleasant (who does?) but I spent my 30s assuming mammograms would be super painful and they really haven’t been for my very ordinary DDs.
Someone talk me into or out of buying these jeans: Le Jean Virginia wide leg ankle. Do we think this style will be on trend for another few years? I’m currently renting them, like them a lot, and can buy for half price, but I’m still cheap and only want to do so if I’ll keep wearing them happily for several seasons.
I don’t think the style will be on the trend edge for another several years. I do think it will be perfectly acceptable for another several years.
if you love them, get them, but I think this trend has already peaked (maybe even a a few years ago) and is on the downslide. The non-ankle version look a little more current (unless the ankle cut fits you like a full length).
I agree with the wide leg ankle cut being on its way out. It’ll still be fine for next spring/summer I think. I’d put in in the same category as the ‘step cut’ hems or ‘kick flares’ that were popular last summer/this summer.
No, it won’t be on trend for years. Nothing trendy is on trend for years.
But at the same time, this silhouette is not so unique (like parachute pants, or legwarmers with tights) that wearing it for a few years would be a major faux pas. If you like them, go for it and enjoy them.
i don’t know, everyone has this style this year. i’ve noticed because i personally hate this style, which means it’s bound to become a classic.
if you’re renting the jeans i’d buy them (because you can wear them the whole year) but if you’re renting in a seasonal fabric i’d skip it.
I love this length and cut and have worn it for years and will continue to. If you love them buy them (especially at that price), but a hint: the GAP high rise striders in cropped are very similar and my go-to.
I bought the “red” in the Gap Stride for fall and winter and it will get so much wear.
Hmmmm, I might need those.
Thank you all! Appreciate the input.
Anyone worked with a philanthropic advisor? How do you decide what donations to make? Do you have a proactive strategy or do you wait for friends or someone to hit you up? I’m looking into starting a Donor Advised Fund (DAF)…
I’ve never worked with an advisor, but I’ve thought a lot about giving.
Giving consistently, so a charity has a regular stream of income (like $x annually), can do a lot of good because it’s a lot easier to hire people and do good long-range work if there’s consistent income.
I pick a handful of organizations and give consistently. I glanced through 990s and did some basic Googling the first year, but generally am on autopilot now.
As for picking, I think about my values and where I can do the most good. My priorities are helping the neediest (an international aid organization and the local food bank), democracy and civil rights in the US, and children in my community (foundation in support of our local public schools, local science museum).
There is so much more I care about, but I figure it’s better to give to handful of organizations consistently and more significantly than give a small amount to tons of organizations.
I think most nonprofits spend too much on overhead so we donate exclusively to local dog rescues.
I really would like to flip the script on this. We need good people running non-profits. Why do we expect them to perform well in these really hard jobs and also work for nothing?
Cool. I disagree and donate elsewhere.
I want nonprofits to be able to recruit good talent, and I want nonprofit workers to be able to have careers with retirement savings, parental leave and not have to share hotel rooms when they travel. That’s what overhead pays for.
Thank you thank you thank you. Why do we expect the people working to solve the problem our corporations and government can’t, or won’t, to forego good wages and a good retirement. SO SO sick of that script.
i have not personally, but i know someone who is one , who is lovely, if you are looking.
What’s her website? I’m interested!
We give a decent amount each year (10k-20k depending on the year). Two thirds is planned, and we focus on a couple organizations (primarily arts) that we want to see thrive in our community. One third is when people run charity races, or otherwise are doing individual fundraising for various causes. Have had to do fundraising, I really do appreciate how hard it is to ask for money and how grateful you are to have people supporting you. How much I donate varies based on my view on the charity someone is fundraising for. Mix varies from year to year. While not completely altruistic, I’d encourage you to look at the perks associated with some of the giving. For example, we really enjoy the benefits the zoo give us (behind the scenes access, etc.) and meeting the type of people that pick a zoo for their charitable giving.
I actually took a class in this in college a decade ago. People don’t like donating to places with too much overhead, which is why non-profit pay is always terrible or it’s exclusively volunteer, which produces a lot of turnover and dropped balls, which is a real waste of money… But also, do you really want your donation to pay the nonprofit’s head of HR? And that’s not even getting into having a marketing/fundraising budget or the sticky problems for rich nations/people trying to help poorer ones and creating a whole host of economic problems in the area. So if you’re trying to decided what a “good” place to donate is, it gets really complex really fast. CharityNavigator is a good place to start and they do a decent job of highlighting good places to donate.
All that aside, I donate to my local church because they do really well with things like food and rent assistance for the area, and I also donate to GiveDirectly since they can get a lot of “bang for your buck” and their ethos of autonomy/dignity in giving really resonates with me.
i’ll bite: Yes, I absolutely DO want my money to help pay for a nonprofit’s head of HR! That role is critical to ensuring the employees who work at the nonprofit — and do the actual work that I am in support of — are compensated, have solid benefits, get to take time off, and are supported in their professional development, so that they, in turn, can go on to do even better things with my money.
What an odd, odd take, which indicates to me you have no idea how corporations or organizations work.
<3
Thank you from a long term nonprofit worker
(I do think it's worth checking charitynavigator for organizations that are spending something like 80%+ on overhead; and whose impact model is basically "we create awareness by asking people to donate! But for overall efficiency, whether an org's overhead is 10% or 25% is more often a reflection of how creative their accountant is, rather than an actual efficiency difference. You need support resources to get stuff done!)
It’s less that it’s an odd take and more that I didn’t think all the way through my post. I more wanted to demonstrate why people dislike places with more overhead and can often have difficulty fundraising, I don’t actually agree with the point I made.
Oh, totally fair, and in that framing it’s accurate – it is definitely harder to get either individual donations or grants for the kind of non-obvious, important-but-not-direct stuff like, we are hand copying forms in pen because our printer is broken and we don’t have enough front-office money to fix it.
And it’s always a balance – for example, that pressure from donors has at least contributed to a growing prevalence of evaluating impact against the counterfactual of “just give everyone cash” (where ~20 years ago, pretty much all impact reports were “compared to if we do nothing”); that genuinely has made some non profits actually more efficient.
We probably give $65K/year from a HHI that ranges from $3-450K. We give 90% of that to one local organization @ $5K/month. They know who we are and that they can count on that contribution. We are enough (about 25%) of their annual budget that, if we were to change our minds, I would give them advance notice. I strongly prefer this approach to what we did previously, which was divide our annual giving among 4 or 5 larger entities. The downside is that, if we pull our contribution, the local org is going to be in a pickle, and I don’t want that. The upside, though, is that we see where our donation goes and, if we wanted to, could influence their programming. We try hard not to, but we could. We actually went shopping for a recipient before we settled on this one, so we took a couple of months to dig into the local options until we found one that was a good fit.
I’ve lost about 80 lbs in the last 18 months. Is it possible that my shoe size went down a half size?
I’ve been a 9 in flats and 9.5 in heels since, like, the late 90s. I’m 40. I know some say pregnancy can change your shoe size but my youngest is 2.
I just bought vionic flats and the 9 is slipping off of me. I have a pair of nike sneakers I bought a while ago that are slipping off my feet. I’ll buy what fits, obviously, so I’m returning the Vionics for an 8.5 but is this all in my head?
Vionics run half a size large on me in many styles. I think it’s to accommodate insoles and orthotics.
Yes, absolutely. I lost far less weight than that and my shoe size has gone down. I joke that my feet got smaller rather than larger after I had kids, but in reality, I don’t think that’s a thing, and the only explanation is that I lost weight.
Chiming in to say, I haven’t lost weight and am still down half a size in my mid-60’s. I am told that it is due to feet losing volume as you age. But yes, am back to my pre-kids size.
I think it’s a thing that can happen. One of my good friends lost ~ 100 lbs (she’s 5 ft tall on a good day) and her shoe size went down 1-1.5 sizes.
definitely possible, but fwiw I’m always a half size down in nikes from my normal size
Ugh. I hate that there is another school shooting. Did we ever find out what happened with the religious school shooting in Nashville? I feel that I remember it was a former student, but that both her parents and the school fought to keep some diaries out of public view. I thought that that was really, really suspicious at the time and honestly what could be in that would be beyond our ability to handle it (especially in light of a shooting where much younger children and an adult were killed, and in light of how limited our attention spans are and how much outrage we’ve subsequently processed on all sorts of things)? Did anything ever actually come out ever on that (or any rumblings, like they are hiding X or Y or Z)?
Please stop treating real tragedies like personal entertainment
I’m here in Mpls, crying at my desk with coworkers.
I don’t know what relevance you think it holds; school shootings aren’t specifically a religious school problem, and two incidents isn’t enough to establish a pattern of anything.
On the off chance anyone has advice here — has anyone had success with redirecting a family member who asks the same question repeatedly? My autistic/ADHD son does this and it’s always been annoying, we have the same conversations 1000s of times.
He’s 13 now and the repeated questions are just totally crippling him (and I suspect his brain is so wrapped up in the questions he can’t even process new thoughts). He’s already medicated pretty heavily for anxiety with hydroxyzine and Wellbutrin, although I suppose we could go higher on the Wellbutrin or try Prozac, and we’re doing other things to try to help his anxiety. (Zoloft wasn’t great for him and we’ve avoided Prozac because another family member killed themselves shortly after going on it.) I keep rejecting anti-psychotics for him. Wish I could get him into something with heavy cardio.
Has he been evaluated for OCD?
It sounds like he’s getting stuck in a loop. Is he in any sort of talk therapy or OT that can help him get out of the loop. I have anxiety and get stuck in these loops and lexapro helps a ton for me, but I’d see if there are other options too.
Is he on stimulants/ADHD meds? They really help with directing focus and getting out of loops.
my heart goes out to anyone in minneapolis, particularly those impacted by today’s horrific events. this world we live in seems to get scarier by the minute.