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Weekend Open Thread

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blue cotton voile blouse with scalloped details, rounded collar, and slightly sheer front

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

This bestseller from J.Crew is lovely.

Usually I'm not a fan of the rounded collar, and I can't quite put my finger on why this one is different — the pintucking? the scalloped details? Whatever it is, I think the blouse succeeds in a kind of grown up cool that the rounded collar usually does not have. It's also nice that the blouse is 100% organic cotton.

The shirt comes in three colors, and honestly I'd want all of them: white (lined), blue, and black. I do like the tone-on-tone camisole here, as discussed in our recent post on what to wear with sheer blouses and open knits.

The top is $118, available in sizes 00-24. There are actually a lot of nice cotton voile pieces in stock right now — this relaxed top also comes in a dress, and I loooove this (final sale) black lace-trim blouse (which also comes in white). This bestselling dress also looks kinda perfect.

Sales of note for 8/28/25 (I'm bolding the ones I'm checking out first):

92 Comments

  1. I need a light third piece to wear on top of a few sleeveless dresses — a jean jacket has the right vibe I want but is too heavy and they’ve always been too boxy on me. What’s a good substitute?

    3. I have the Paige Pacey Collared Jacket – very stretchy and more fitted. I also like the Evereve Camp Jacket.

    7. I saw this jacket at kohl’s recently (of all places!). Lightweight, waist-defined, casual: https://www.kohls.com/product/prd-6931418/womens-sonoma-goods-for-life-patch-pocket-utility-jacket.jsp?color=Manolo%20Olive&prdPV=2

      The length is longer than I like for wearing with dresses, but with any of the shorter jackets, it’s going to be hard to avoid the boxier shape you don’t like, unless you find something that’s fitted or semi-tailored. You can find that cut in vests right now, but it’s harder to find in jackets currently.

    8. I was elated to see the peplum coming back a little bit (they totally work on me), so the Gap cinched denim jacket was an easy buy for me. Comes in blue, black, and white denim, and I promise the seams don’t look as severe/triangular in real life as they do in the pics.

      Otherwise, a canvas field jacket from Old Navy a few seasons back in a dusty rose works overtime for me.

      1. Also: the denim is way lighter weight than a traditional jean jacket. Not chambray, but not stiff, heavy denim.

        1. thank you, just ordered! i think i’ll pop into Kohls sometime soon. that cinched jacket was low in stock when i ordered.

    9. Tommy Bahama has a linen trucker jacket, it comes in a few different colors. I’ve also found similar jackets at TJMaxx and Marshall’s.

    10. Depending on cuts and fits maybe a striped linen button down? I have one from anthro and it looks so cute with a black tank dress.

  2. Following up from this morning, I Did The Thing and it was not that bad and didn’t take me that long. Why do I never learn??

    Hope everyone who is trying to Do The Thing today had success too!

    1. Congratulations!

      If you figure out why you never learn, please let me know! I Did The Things this morning, and all told it took 20 minutes. Banging my head on my desk at myself over here!

    3. I did the Thing today and it took five hours! (It required driving to my state capital for a same-day copy of a certified record…everyone at the office was trying to do the Thing and facing some kind of paperwork roadblock. Have our terribly difficult to deal with and inefficient bureaucratic systems always been so bad??). Anyways, glad it’s over and happy weekend to all.

  3. For 2025 suiting, what are the good options if you tend to need a petite jacket? On my list to try once fall stocks some in: BR, Talbots. What else is good enough to not pull or fuzz (especially of if I can’t get wool or find the unlined wool pants to be too itchy)? Sometimes I can get a lined wool skirt suit but might get pointed or travel to get a skirt, pants, and a jacket.

    1. JCrew carries petites. I don’t often have to wear a suit but have had one of theirs for a decade now and it remains a go-to when needed.

  4. Just screaming into the void – I didn’t get the job, and was told yesterday. I’m still angry.

    1. I’m sorry. :(

      It’s a Friday. Call up your friends and go for margaritas, queso, and tacos.

    4. Maybe reply with a thanks and indicate openness to future roles as it was a great fit. (You never know)

  5. A big and very successful project I headed for the last three years was canceled last week for no good reason. Today I was asked to edit the communications that are going out to the project team and to the whole organization announcing the cancellation and promising there is a new! improved! version of the project coming soon! yep, really truly! (With no explanation of how the new version will be different or better.) Gah.

    3. Oof. I can totally relate. I’ve been on a 4 person committee for the last year on a similar project. About to finally go to contract and the our president is rethinking the strategy. Hang in there!

  6. i feel like i slept awful last night but can’t remember being up at all. grumble. is this just peri?

    1. It’s almost the full moon and I was seriously wondering if it was getting to me. My smart watch says my sleep was “non-restorative” and it’s not kidding.

    5. Is your period due soon? Insomnia became a big PMS symptom for me in my late 30s. So probably peri related but specifically linked to my cycle.

  7. I reread the morning thread on parents and siblings. Very cathartic and now I don’t want to drill on it any more. What I remind myself of is:
    Bitterness is drinking a poison and hoping that the other person dies.

    It’s better for me to just walk away mentally (and engage with my problem sibling minimally and by text only and as responses vs seeking engagement).

  8. I had posted about needing three evening outfits for a celebratory weekend in SoCal this fall. consensus was not to wear jeans to first night/ arrival/cocktails… thoughts on long satin skirt with sweater in same color?

      2. That was my first thought as well. A sweater seems like it’s likely to be too hot. And the skirt is going to be an unforgiving fabric if you start to sweat or spill.

    3. The sweater would have to be really light weight and sheer. Things like that are trending, so you can probably find something,

      1. Lightweight? Sheer? Evenings are cool in LA. She’s going to have serious headlights going on.

    4. I think that sounds great if it’s a lightweight cotton sweater (if the weather is still warm).

  9. My husband and I are going to Istanbul, Turkey, in mid-September. I asked ChatGPT for an itinerary, and it gave me what appear to be decent recs, though I need to actually vet them.

    Does anyone have a good recommendation for a tourist-friendly traditional Turkish bath (hammam)? ChatGPT suggested these two: Kılıç Ali Paşa Hamamı or Cağaloğlu Hamamı

    And any restaurants or activities that you loved? We’re going for a specific event for a week on the coast, and then we have 4 additional days to explore in the city center.

    We’re generally athletic/like to walk, adventurous enough to eat in less-than-glamorous places if the food is good quality, and would love at least one romantic dinner.

    1. Please just buy a $20 Lonely Planet guide for your $2000 trip. It will be worth it.

      1. Or better yet, Rich Steves and give $5 to PBS for airing the programs too while you’re at it.

        2. +1, we used Rick Steves for a Morocco trip and his recommendation for a midrange but lovely couples’ hammam experience in Marrakech was spot on.

    2. In addition to chat gpt, I usually browse Viatour for ideas and activities. I’ve loved booking private walking tours and food tours. Haven’t been where you’re going so no specific recs.

    3. For what it’s worth, I recently did a long trip in Turkey and Istanbul was my least favorite place. If you’re not dead set on it, maybe spend the time in a different city? Izmir has good food.

      I am a very experienced traveler, including in some quite unsafe places, and the level of constantly-on-your-guard you have to be for scams in Istanbul was off the charts; and it just wasn’t a pleasant way to spend time. Food wasn’t great quality for value, and it will take a lot of time to sort through the mess to find good options.

      Sorry to be a downer, and with that out of the way! The food in Istanbul is pretty bad near the main tourist attractions & in the old town neighborhood, but it is fun to walk around in, would recommend the hippodrome and Gulhane park (again, with a thick skin and a willingness to be very rude to anyone trying to “help” you). There’s a nice waterfront walking path that’s away from the main attractions, and therefore a little more chill. But mostly, mentally separate your “walking, exploring, food” days from “seeing attractions” days; and for “Walking, exploring, food” keep walking until you don’t see as many other tourists. I like Uskudar and Zeytinburu for “normal ish” neighborhoods with good food.

        1. I do agree with the “being on your guard” thing fwiw. But for me that was outweighed by all the cool history and culture.

        2. Oh yeah, the history of the city is so fascinatingly rich and genuinely unique in the world – if that’s a must-see for you, I get that, and it’s worth going, just know what you’re getting in to. From a certain perspective, there was also something really geopolitically interesting (albeit distressing) about the current situation (like a conversation with the Hagia Sophia ticket seller trying to “explain” to me that the Hagia Sophia is really important to see because… there are no buildings that big in the US? It felt very much like China does sometimes. But with a lot more blatant govt. corruption)

          For me, I had last been to Istanbul pre-2020 and I found it a regular “keep your guard up” type city & really enjoyed just walking around and soaking in the vibe, the change on this most recent trip was shocking.

          One thing I realized might not be clear in my original post: physically, Istanbul is reasonably safe (feels like a typical European capital), like you don’t need to worry much about getting mugged if you walk out for dinner in a populated neighborhood after dark. It’s just got Lagos-level scam pressure – think coffee shops that are “out” of everything you ask for on the menu, they finally tell you something they have that sounds similar and…oh, look, you say yes, it costs 20X the price of any other drink; museum ticket sellers add stuff to your ticket without asking and hope you don’t notice because the exchange rate is always so variable; pay attention to how your groceries get rung up even at fixed price shops; and absolutely do not go to take a look at anyone’s carpets/ancient coins/tourist brochures/restaurant/etc (even if you are deadset on just looking yourself; when there is violence, it tends to be affiliated with these “come away with me…” type scams)

          One more complicating factor is that inflation is wild right now throughout Turkey *and* the value of the lira is in freefall, so “a reasonable price” is hard to track and hard to look up online.

          1. Yeah I think it’s changed a ton due to politics and inflation. One of my husband’s close friends lived there circa 2017 and the things he told us about the city just did not jibe with our experience visiting in 2024. It’s apparently changed very rapidly.
            It was also way less cheap than I expected. It’s not crazy expensive like Switzerland or Singapore but didn’t really seem any cheaper than Italy and Spain to me – at least in the more touristy areas.

    4. For what it’s worth, I recently did a long trip in Turkey and Istanbul was my least favorite place. If you’re not dead set on it, maybe spend the time in a different city? Izmir has good food.

      I am a very experienced traveler, including in some quite unsafe places, and the level of constantly-on-your-guard you have to be for scams in Istanbul was off the charts; and it just wasn’t a pleasant way to spend time. Food wasn’t great quality for value, and it will take a lot of time to sort through the mess to find good options.

      Sorry to be a downer, and with that out of the way! The food in Istanbul is pretty bad near the main tourist attractions & in the old town neighborhood, but it is fun to walk around in, would recommend the hippodrome and Gulhane park (again, with a thick skin and a willingness to be very rude to anyone trying to “help” you). There’s a nice waterfront walking path that’s away from the main attractions, and therefore a little more chill. But mostly, mentally separate your “walking, exploring, food” days from “seeing attractions” days; and for “Walking, exploring, food” keep walking until you don’t see as many other tourists. I like Uskudar and Zeytinburu for “normal ish” neighborhoods with good food.

      1. That’s good to know, I haven’t traveled in that area of the world at all, so it’s a good thing to know in advance! We’re open to going to other cities if we can do it as a day trip, so I’ll check into Izmir and those two neighborhoods.

      2. I’m missing the laziness here. Planning an itinerary with recommendations from other people seems like a normal and not effort-free approach to traveling.

        1. Good grief! It’s one thing to get recs from guide books and web sites, but I come here all the time to get recs from people who have actually been there, and have had great results. Not the same thing, not lazy.

        2. Shrugs. To be honest, I love talking about the places I’ve been and giving recommendations. People asking questions like this online saves those who know me in person from having to hear about the trip for longer than they want to!

      3. Phew! I’m so glad SOMEONE on here is disciplining people about their work ethic! Really doing vital finger-wagging here, Anonymous. Now go back to your day job, which I assume is waking up sleeping children to get back to sewing beads on wedding veils.

    6. My daughter and I went to Cağaloğlu Hamam. It was lovely. It’s one of the oldest hamam in the city and very centrally located but also very welcoming to Americans who spoke no Turkish.

  10. Have any of you bought “the family home” after your parents died – from your siblings? I’m curious what ballpark “closing costs” would be for buying them out?

    The house is right now owned by the Trust, which my sibling and I took over as co-trustees after my last parent died. We have a recent appraisal for 350K. Small “starter” home they kept for 50 years.

    I have never bought property before. I would pay my brother cash. I am already covering the insurance/property taxes. Would need a lawyer I assume (cost? and not sure how the Trust complicates things) and an accountant (to file the last Estate income tax), and maybe ~3K transfer tax fee (state/county/municipal). But since no realtor, no loan I’m thinking there shouldn’t be too many other charges?

    My sibling and I get along great. I’m living in the house now, and will be doing most of the emptying of the house. Will move out within 5 years. The house wont be hard to sell when I move. I’m in Chicagoland.

    1. I don’t see why you’d need to retain an accountant specifically for this transaction. Any tax issues can be handled in the normal way. Is using a lawyer for real estate transactions standard in your state? It’s not in mine but I know this varies.

      1. I don’t know. I assumed we needed a real estate lawyer for a sale, but am also not sure if a sale within a family inside a trust is handled the same way.

        An accountant has also been handling the estate/trust taxes already, so I know there will be one last return after the house is sold and the estate is closed. Just keeping track of things in my mind.

    2. I’m assuming you’d need a title company still. We have bought properties without realtors and just worked with the title company. I’m not sure if a lawyer replaces them but I think probably not. You could call and ask the title company a ballpark on their closing costs. They’d also know if you need any other professionals.

      1. Thanks for mentioning this. I am not familiar with title companies do exactly and the costs. My parents lived in the house for 50 years and since there wont be a loan I wasn’t sure what they were for. Is this something the person buying the house finds for themselves traditionally, or does the real estate lawyer or realtor traditionally manage it?

        1. It’s different because there wasn’t an estate involved, but we’ve bought property twice with no realtor, mortgage. We had an agreement with the seller, then we contacted a local title company to find out what they needed in the very simple contract. They took it from there. The title company handles changing the title names with the county.

          Yours is a little more complicated since it’s an estate owned. So maybe you need the estate lawyer, and I’m not sure if they could do all the title stuff themselves.

    3. We just used the probate attorney. There weren’t closing costs, just the price we settled on.

      I don’t know the specifics of your trust, but I’ve purchased land for a trust and just had it titled to the trust. My understanding is that if I sold the asset, I just have to ensure the buyer pays the trust and not me. But that is something a probate attorney should be able to help you with as well.

    3. Cup of Joe. I also love hot mess in high heels but posts are infrequent. Swipes and dating tales (no spaces) at WordPress.com is great if you haven’t read – she doesn’t post much anymore but you could start in the archive for a great fluff story!

      1. It’s the only place to talk about niche hobbies pretty much. As much as I love this place for general life stuff no one is going to give me advice or even care about my latest weaving or trouble shoot why my sewing machine is being persnickety with satin.

  12. What jeans are you wearing to the office or would you wear this fall? Links or exact names appreciated. I am struggling with denim shapes and trends this year. Fall in my office historically means everyone switches from dress pants to jeans. I own skinny jeans, bought a pair of Levi’s straight leg that still don’t look right on me, and have tried on several pairs at the mall that just look weird to my eye. I feel like it’s ’07 or so when everyone started wearing skinnies, I swore I never would, and then adjusted…now it’s hard to adjust back.

    1. How much of the “not right” and “weird” is because the jeans don’t fit or are a bad cut for your particular fit challenges versus you being psychologically thrown off by a different style of jean?

    3. I agree that your eye just needs some time to shift. I’m a millennial who was not sad at all to give up skinnies – I just hated the way they felt, and am so happy with wider leg styles with high waists.

      Specific recs – I really like American Eagle high rise barrel jeans and Good American palazzo jeans. The GA ones were ridiculously long but once I had them hemmed they’re great. I own two wash colors of the AE barrel jeans because I like them so much.

  13. Tips for when you’ve become “invisible”? Context: my husband died 7 years ago, we have a 6 year old child (he passed when I was pregnant). So now I have “in laws” who want to see their grandson/nephew but they ignore me when I’m there also. I want to be present to supervise, honestly, but it makes me so uncomfortable.

    1. I am very sorry. This sounds incredibly difficult.
      I think I’d start by trying to engage them. Ask them questions, include yourself. It’ll be awkward but it may, after a bit, get them to treat you like a person there with them. If it doesn’t work after a few tries, I think I’d just lean into the invisibility — bring a book or work, for example.

      These aren’t great solutions, I know. But waiting to be seen is awful, too. I’m very sorry.

    2. Ignore you — like if you say something, it’s flat out not heard or acknowledged at all, 100% of the time — or care more about their grandson than you?

      If the former, just repeat yourself over and over saying their name. “Hey Janet, I asked how your appendectomy was.” Assume hearing loss unless you have reason to assume actual hostility.

      If the latter…that’s pretty normal for grandparents to care more about their grandkid than the grandkid’s parents, and you just have to bring a book and occupy yourself while they spend time with him.

      1. +1 to all this. And 6 is old enough that unless you have reason to worry about safety you can probably start dropping him off with them soon, which will be even nicer than bringing a book.

    3. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, and for this awkwardness.

      When you are visiting, do you ever talk about your husband? Now that your child is getting older, they might enjoy hearing little stories about their father, and reminiscing with the occasional photo. Doing it during the visits occasionally might be nice for the in laws too. Memories of your husband is part of the glue that holds all of you together. For his parents, hearing new stories (and retelling favorite old ones) about their son is often a very touching thing. Hopefully for you too. I loved things like that, and hung on to new pictures or stories tightly.

  14. Anyone have experience with lab-grown diamonds from Grown Brilliance? I’m thinking of getting a pair of stud earrings. Price seems very good, possibly too good?

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