Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Lloyd Floral Print Tie-Neck Top
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I’ve always known that fashion was cyclical, but it’s really been a lot of fun to see pieces that were popular early in my career (2007-2010 time period) coming back with a vengeance. Tie-neck blouses didn’t go anywhere, but they seem to be very prominent this season in a way that I haven’t seen in some time. (Are they a recession indicator? Yikes!)
Pair this with your favorite trousers for an easy, polished office look.
The blouse is $395 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XS-XL.
Sales of note for 8/12/25:
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your full price purchase, and $99 dresses and jackets — extra 60% off sale also
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles with code
- Dermstore – Anniversary sale, up to 25% off everything
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off all sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles & up to 60% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything and extra 60% off clearance
- Mejuri – Up to 25% off everything
- M.M.LaFleur – New August drop, and up to 70% off sale – try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
- Neiman Marcus – Last call designer sale! Spend $200, get a $50 gift card (up to $2000+ spend with $500 gift card)
- Nordstrom – 9,800+ new women's markdowns
- Rothy's – Ooh: limited edition T-strap flats / Mary Janes
- Spanx – Free shipping on everything
- Talbots – Semi-annual red door sale! 50% off all markdowns + extra 20% off already marked-down items
I love the Uniqlo Ultra Stretch Mini Dress, but its been out of stock in pink for the longest time. I have the black one and its a perfect fit, and I wanted it in another color. It doesn’t seem like its come back though. Any other similar dresses?
It’s very simple, a flared nylon-and-spandex dress with pockets.
Gap Factory has one that is more boat neck but similar shape and comes in a wine color.
Oh this looks great, thank you! I wear this dress all the time and also I’m usually not someone who wears black that much so I really wanted another one
I have no advice, but thank you for posting, because it was in stock in my size in black, and I just ordered!
Look on poshmark too. You may be able to find the exact one you want!
I am a newly minted small business owner looking for your best to-do list systems. Previously, I used a combination of Apple Tasks/reminders and my paper planner. I’m now running my own consultancy working for myself (no employees) with multiple clients and other projects to keep track of (i.e. billing, website updates, speaking engagements, etc.). I had a friend recommend ToDoist but I’m not totally sold.
I realize that paper is probably not long-term sustainable due to its inefficient nature. I like to be able to see all of my different project “buckets” at once (ex: to-dos for each client side by side) so I can prioritize, which paper allows me to do. I’m open to suggestions and ideas (maybe I’m using ToDoist wrong? I have different to-do lists but can’t view side by side) and am willing to pay for something great.
Monday.com or Asana or something like that.
Maybe OneNote or Evernote? I use OneNote and have a section/notebook for each client and underneath that I can create multiple notes
+1 to onenote
If you want to stay with paper, Planner Pad.
I’ve literally never found anything as effective as paper.
Or Excel. I have one line for each workstream in projects with a to-do component and a “waiting on” component. Easy to updating due dates, how long things will take, and easy to use filtering.
Yeah, it’s the seeing it all in one place component. I don’t keep separate lists for separate matters, it’s easier for me to keep a running list of what’s going on. It’s always been enough of a memory trigger to stay organized.
Ditto
Trello or Asana will allow you to use a Kanban system, which will give you lists that you compare side-by-side, with each task area on its own card. These tools will let you be as simple or robust as needed.
My other suggestion comes out of what I’ve learned about myself: I need to start with the simplest way first, and then “complicate” it with a new system or software as I find I need to.
So I’d use Apple Notes, since you’re already used to the Apple system. A note for each client or project area. Use headings and subheadings in your notes to divide different sections, because Apple allows you to collapse or show each heading. At the top of the note, a current set of tasks for each client or project, along with links to client names/info, and then the sections underneath contain all the other tasks or info. You can also embed links, and add files or graphics, so the notes can branch off to other notes as needed.
When you need to compare project areas side by side, open up the various notes in their own windows and look at them side by side on your computer screen. Not the most elegant way to solve it, but it might work well enough to get you started, and then you can find out if you need a more complex system or specialty software.
So this was actually amazing advice. I didn’t realize (DUH) that I could make separate lists in Apple Reminders. I just went in and did that and promptly deleted my ToDoist account. Thank you! I think this will accomplish exactly what I had hoped to do.
As a larger-on-top (trying to avoid mod) woman I’ve always had my doubts about strapless dresses. But for a few formal events I wore a strapless and then a straight high neck dress and I think I really like those. They’re flattering and I feel like they de-emphasize the area a bit, and my arms/shoulders look nice. With a good strapless bra + good fit around the waist I’m not concerned about comfort/staying up. Other people with the same body type – do you agree? Anything else to keep in mind?
I agree, and find longline bras the secret. They’re more expensive but way more comfortable and supportive!
Honestly I keep thinking about my prom dress, which had a built in long line corset and fit amazingly. So that is the goal.
Turtlenecks are famously bad for women who are large on top, so it makes sense that strapless would work for many. Strapless dresses are also usually cut high (they need to be on top of the wide part to stay up), so you also don’t get massive cleavage.
Both large on top and wide shoulders here – I hate strapless because of the huge expanse of shoulder. A chunky necklace helps, but I prefer straps to break that up. I do think they can look nicer on women with narrower shoulders.
I can’t tell if I have wide shoulders or not but I think that’s part of what I like! The expanse of neck/collarbone. That’s a good distinction though. Maybe swimming helps there regardless. Or its that for other necklines you can always see cleavage, so this is my unique (not better just different) chance to not show anything but also not be covered up.
Yup. They were a favorite in my younger years. I’m bigger on top with shoulders like I left the coat hanger in. Not bigger on top on the other way though, if that makes sense, but my shoulders are well outside my hips. A strapless top relieved some of the visual bulk on top and I looked more balanced. A narrow deep v neck is also great for this on me. From ball gowns to swimsuits i always try for that shape. A raglan sleeve is also nice on me.
I think these general rules are great but you also have to know what you like best on your body. Counter all advice, I love a turtleneck. Especially a sleeveless mock neck or a dark tissue turtleneck. I think it might have something to do with to my neck being shorter than I’d like compared to the square shoulders. Or maybe it objectively looks terrible to everyone but me, but I kind of don’t care. The point is…once you know what you like getting dressed is so much more fun. Seek out those strapless shapes if you love them on you!
For light wash wide leg jeans that are not cropped, what would you do for shoes? Because the black lug sole loafers I’m pairing with it are not a good aesthetic choice. Too black for the light wash. But is this also the wrong type of shoe entirely? Platform white sneaker?
Adidas in a fun color
sneakers. depending on top a colored flat. saddle or brown loafers or boots.
Silver/gray New Balance 1906 snofers.
Correction: 1906L
I think you can do loafers, but lug sole might be too much for the light wash, and a lighter color might be more harmonious. Sneaker sole loafers in tan, cream, pale pink or light blue would work. Check out the Vionic Uptown loafer in the lighter colors. Alternative in more of a casual driver shoe is the Cole Haan Grand Ambition Galena in Irish Coffee or Tobacco.
Look at how these jeans are styled at American Eagle; I think their shoe pairings are pretty good.
Tan clogs, 70s style?
This time of year, I’d wear sandals. When the weather cools down I’d do colored sneakers or clogs. (Pretty sure my teenage niece would wear them with those UGG clogs I’m seeing everywhere.) To my eye, light wash jeans are always casual, so you need a shoe that reads casual.
How did you decide to take Ozempic (or similar)? Was it numbers/health stats, feelings around food, vanity (no judgment), or something else? My “normal” weight is 20-25 lbs above the weight that would put me in normal BMI range. Right now I’m 20 lbs heavier than that postpartum and it’s not budging; strict calorie counting is off limits for me because of a history of disordered thoughts and patterns, and I also don’t think it will work. I’m trying to decide what to do.
I took Saxenda and now, Wegovy. The decision was an easy one once I started having hip pain any time that I was standing. I’ve always been obese. I was around 230 pounds when I had my daughter (I’m only 5′). I lost most of that within 3 months of having her, and I went back down to my “normal” 170-180lbs. But over the course of 2-3 years, it all came back. When I hit the 200s, I started having bad hip pain any time I stood for longer than a few minutes. Even standing in the shower was painful. I had been offered Saxenda by my Obgyn PA a year prior, but it was not covered under my insurance. As soon as our insurance started to cover it, I started it. This was 3-4 years ago. I’m still overweight at 145 lbs, but I’ve never been at this weight in my adult life. I’m on a maintenance dose of Wegovy now and happy to stay on that for the rest of my life. I take my shot at night to minimize the nausea, which I don’t get at all anymore. It has taken away the food noise almost completely. I don’t binge like I used to do, but I can still enjoy food. For example, I’m happy with a literal 2-3 chips where before I’d eat half the bag in one sitting. My best advice is to try and see if it works for you, but be prepared to have to be on it for your lifetime in order to keep the weight off permanently. I don’t think any of these meds were designed to be used for a few months to get the weight off and then, stop the meds without the weight coming back. Also, be sure to educate yourself on the possible side effects. I feel like I made my decision with all of that information and made an informed choice.
I have more to lose than you, but after a career on the R&D side of the pharmaceutical industry, I’m waiting until the Phase 4 data (population scale) is in and analyzed – in Europe. I don’t trust the FDA, and I’ve seen too many drugs have claims reduced or eligibility criteria tightened after the Phase 4 data was available.
I honestly haven’t been worrying this way about this drug class because it’s been used so long in diabetes.
The structural changes that are being made in the newer versions can change the overall safety profile of the drug, and people with diabetes are a small proportion of the people who are taking this class of drugs now who have a unique risk profile. As someone who only has weight to lose and doesn’t have any co-morbidities, I’m going to be really cautious here. There are Phase 4 studies underway, and for my personal risk tolerance, I’m comfortable waiting until that data is in and published.
To clarify, as there may be a misunderstanding among those not involved in pharmacovigilance, Phase IV in Europe refers to post-marketing surveillance. It never ends unless the drug is withdrawn from the market. Which is not to imply it might not result in a better understanding of risks and benefits, but if you are waiting for Phase IV to be completed and the data published, you will wait forever!
However, the point that approval for weight loss is relatively new compared to approval for diabetes, which has resulted in much more widespread use among a different patient profile, is a completely valid one. We have seen drugs withdrawn from the market after decades of use because of Phase IV data (the most famous recent example probably being Darvocet).
Also in the life sciences space, but investing, but this is where I’ve been. Just started this week. Ideally we’d have long-term data but it has been used for years. There is also some research on protective effects they expect to see.
To the R&D person, I’m curious what specific concerns you’d like to see the Phase 4 address?
Different poster, but I remember when fen-fen was a diet drug until it wasn’t. I get why a T2D person assumes a different risk that me (vanity is my only concern).
Thank you for saying this. I’ve been tempted by anecdotes from friends, then second guess myself, then tell myself I’m overly paranoid, then remind myself we simply don’t know what we don’t know yet, and keep going in circles. Having a concrete point to reference is helpful.
Can you speak more about this. When would that happen?
when is the ETA on that?
Yes and if the other poster is correct that “it never ends”…. Then when do initial phase in European findings start to be published
Yes and if the other poster is correct that “it never ends”…. Then when do initial phase in European findings start to be published
I am taking Zepbound. I started at about 70 pounds overweight. I was not overweight until my late 30s, and I just slowly gained weight over time from that point on. I’m in my 50s and I wanted to lose weight and be healthier so that I would feel better and be in a good position to be active and able to do the things I want to do as I get older. I was also concerned about my A1C and cholesterol numbers. My attempts to lose weight on my own weren’t very productive – months of tracking every calorie and working out multiple days per week, including with a personal trainer twice a week, resulted in losing one pound a month. It would have taken years to lose the weight and that level of effort and expense wasn’t sustainable for that long. Perimenopause seems to make this all much harder, because I was working at it much harder than I had to when I was younger and still barely getting anywhere.
My husband started Zepbound and has had amazing results with it and that convinced me to give it a try. I’m four months in and I’ve lost 30 pounds. I am exercising consistently, although I was already doing that. I am not tracking food, but am focusing generally on getting enough water, protein, and lots of fruits and veggies. We already ate a pretty healthy diet so that hasn’t been a huge change. However, I am amazed by how much easier it is to stop eating when I’m full and to not eat out of boredom or whatever when I’m not really hungry. I eat a lot less now and I do it without having to think about it. It’s a revelation to be able to eat in moderation and not have constant cravings. I have been lucky to have minimal side effects. I haven’t gotten new blood work done yet, so I don’t know if that is improving, but my husband has seen significant improvements in his high blood pressure, cholesterol, and A1C so I am hopeful that I will see improvements as well.
I relate to so much of this. I started gaining the second I turned 40, I swear. I had always been of average weight, and now I’m 25 pounds overweight. I hate it. And I have TRIED to lose weight. But when you lose all of 3 pounds in 3 months, despite exercise and counting calories, it does not feel worth the effort.
Pandemic + menopause = I weighed 40 pounds more than when I got pregnant the first time. While not technically obese, I was only a few pounds away. My cholesterol was through the roof, I was having hip and back pain, and I was watching my father die slowly from a weight related illness. I started weight loss drugs in March 2024 and hit my goal weight in September. Although I am still 10 pounds higher than when I graduated from college, I am firmly at a healthy weight and my doctor does not recommend I go down more.
I still take the lowest dose every 10 days and (barring new information about side effects), plan on taking them forever. It is expensive because my insurance no longer covers it, but I do not have to take statins any more (which caused me to have joint pain), so absolutely worth it.
Talk to your doctor! And spend some time on the Reddit threads.
I used it post partum when I had 20ish pounds to lose. It was amazing. It just helped reset my metabolism to the correct pace.
Took about 3ish months to lose the weight on the lowest dose. I’ve been off it for another 3ish months and have not regained any of the weight I’ve lost.
I used compound tirzepatide. Zero side effects. Cannot recommend it more.
I was about 200 pounds and after looking at my labs at my annual physical my doctor had a “come to Jesus” talk with me about my health. In addition to blood pressure and cholesterol issues, I was pre-diabetic.
I started Wegovy in February of 2024 and reached goal (150) at New Year’s, 2025. My losses weren’t dramatic, working out to about a pound or so a week, over that time.
My labs are perfect now.
Anyone go back to school after receiving a professional degree? I’m 37, partner in private practice, not looking to change my job or life (single, no kids). Last 5 years I’ve developed an interest in a specific topic unrelated to my other degrees. I have a certificate in the topic, it’s tangentially related to my law practice, I have a deep curiosity but am not sure that reading books and articles is filling my interest. I’m debating enrolling in an online, part-time masters program through my state U (which I can afford out of pocket). I am interested in at least 8/11 of the required courses. Is this crazy? Anyone start it and drop out? I would be aiming for a C average, I did really well in school growing up but am truly just in it to learn and not stress out about tests this time around.
My master’s program considered Cs to be failing
Yeah, that’s a good point. Most grad programs require you to get Bs or better to stay in the program.
Eh, it may be that schools are just happy for tuition dollars from the intellectually curious.
But they don’t give degrees for that.
Was that in a hard science? Those are very strict. And grades seem tied to funding also (so a C loses your funding and most FT students would exit at that point).
But where you are a working adult and do the actual work and aren’t gunning for a job in a new field? It’s not the yardstick many schools are used to using. Like all of my teaching friends have a master’s and I don’t recall them mentioning grades once, just a need to complete eventually while juggling a job and often kids at home.
No, this was an education degree. Presumably your friends were successful in their courses so you didn’t hear about it (perhaps there was no need for them to even be made aware). We were told that everyone in a Master’s level program should be functioning at a high level. The workload was also much higher than classes for lower degrees. So the OP should take this into account.
No personal experience with this, which is what you asked for, but I don’t see a downside. I say go for it!
if you’re not interested in “practicing” with the degree, what about enrolling just to audit the courses? You can then just learn without the fear of a grade.
Not the OP but I did this and didn’t learn much. I took for a grade and applied myself much better out of ego. It’s like taking a CLE or teaching a CLE — very different for me.
exactly no down if the money isn’t an impediment. worse case scenario is you’ll decide you don’t like it, finish the class, and not take anymore…
i am currently getting a MBA at the school i work at. i doubt it’s worth the paper its printed on but i’m really enjoying it, it’s good to keep your brain growing and stretching in new ways….
Same. I like when I was a FT student, I am concerned that I’m forgetting as fast as I’m learning but I do enjoy it and don’t plan to stop.
If you can afford it, why not try and see? If you’re not into it, you can just drop it after a few classes. I say this as a professor who recognizes that programs are evaluated on the percent of students who graduate, but would still be happy to have a student who’s just there to learn. If you really don’t think you’re likely to stick with it, though, you might try just taking some classes without enrolling in a degree program, though, assuming that’s an option.
Colleges are weird. Community college was really fixated on my high school transcript (I’m 50 and finished college at 22).
A highly selective nearby SLAC only lets you be a FT undergrad or audit — nothing in between (why???).
The SLAC’s reputation is based on prestige and selectivity, so they don’t want randos taking classes. Public schools, including community colleges, are held accountable to a lot of regulations about eligibility and student success. Schools are increasingly being penalized or forced to close programs if they don’t enroll enough students, if they don’t graduate at high enough rates, or potentially if they don’t get jobs. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as I think there have been a lot of exploitative programs (masters programs in particular) with poor ROI, but if implemented poorly, could penalize universities that enroll more poor students and other students that face more challenges, and that’s not a desirable outcome.
Because they are highly selective and want to create an environment of people deeply engaging with their classes and the campus community. The whole mindset of SLACs is that education is more than just the odd course or two taken when convenient.
Except it really isn’t — plenty of SLACs value their place in a community and plays, concerts, and the grounds are generally open. People work there, often whole families for generations, often in jobs like groundskeeping or housekeeping or the cafeteria. Plenty of very highly selective schools have buckets like “visiting student” or “PT non degree candidate” or similar that lets people share the luxury of quality education that seems consistent with the mission.
Yes. I’m community college, one class at a time, graded classes, for nursing classroom classes. Not interested in more at the moment. Would get an associate’s in nursing after retirement if I wanted or will just know better what my aches and pains are. It helped me at trivia night already.
I can’t see why it would be crazy? I aim to be a lifelong learner, and have happily gone back to school to learn things entirely unrelated to my job. Or done online university classes through YouTube or wherever. Or google around for syllabi and started reading the class texts.
My grandfather did this in the European country he lived in.
When he was nearing retirement, he got a masters degree in archeology. After retirement he went on a lot of digs with professors from his program in his home country and european countries. He got a lot of joy from it.
that sounds like so much fun, I want to be him when I grow up!
Has anyone ever sold their house knowing it would be a financial loss, but done it anyway and not regretted it?
We are in the midst of an extensive renovation. While the reno will improve things dramatically, it will still not give us our dream home. And there are still two more fairly major things we want to do. (And even after THAT, I won’t have everything I want, like a garage, and our boys won’t have a closet in their room).
Although we bought this home with the intention of it being our forever home, we have been here 3 years, done work on it, and I still really dislike it. I am coming to the understanding that I will never love this home, and that bothers me a lot.
Given the recent reno, we will not be in a position to sell/buy for a couple of years. Plus, I think it makes sense to live in our improved home for a bit and enjoy all of the effort that went into it. Depending on the market, I think we will probably not have a full ROI on the work we have done and will likely sell at a loss of 50-100k. We are not rich people so that’s a substantial sum for us. Yet, I know for a fact my happiness will be greater in a house I love. What would you do?
You may find meditations or sermons or books (whatever your flavor of this is) that focus on contentedness helpful.
They may be helpful but won’t change the fact that we’ll spend 900k on a house that doesn’t fully meet our needs and doesn’t make me happy, vs 1.1 million on a house that does meet our needs and I would enjoy far more.
Your “needs” can always be re-evaluated.
Your house is not responsible for your happiness. Remodeling it didn’t change that. Selling it also won’t change that. You may need to switch houses for practical reasons, but the way you are discussing this places too much power over your emotions in the hands of your housing.
Personally, my mood is absolutely lifted when I’m in an environment I like. Does your happiness truly not depend at all on your surroundings?
People are being too hard on OP. A house can impact your happiness if it’s a constant mess because there are no closets, your car is burning hot or freezing cold every day from sitting outside (not to mention increased wear and tear), you can’t own sporting equipment because there’s no garage to store it, plus whatever issues OP didn’t list here. As someone who’s currently in a too-small apartment I get it. This can create a baseline level of stress that makes any other life annoyance seem worse. If OP is in a position to lose some money then moving isn’t a moral failure
I don’t mean to suggest that OP is having a moral failure in any way! I think she’s describing a completely normal human experience. But her posts place responsibility for her happiness in the hands of her circumstances, and while these sorts of circumstances absolutely can affect your day to day mood, they should have relatively little impact on your overall happiness and contentedness.
Again, no judgment here. This is a very human experience!
Um, if you are this easily discontented I don’t think there is a perfect house out there for you.
Or coming from the other angle: if you are well off enough that you can stomach losing six figures in order to obtain a closet in the kids’ bedroom and make yourself happy for the rest of your life, go for it. Most people don’t have such an easily-scratched, singular itch.
I missed this earlier. Why do you care if your kids have a closet? They’ll live and eventually they’ll move out.
I’m not the OP, just wanted to share an interesting piece of trivia.
My local zoning ordinances do not consider it a legal bedroom without two egress options (one directly outside – so typically a door into another interior room or hallway and an external window of a minimum size and approved opening method – can’t be a crank or hinge) and a closet. I’m not sure why having a closet rises to the same level of import as being able to escape a fire, but there’s that.
You’re somewhat wealthy if you can afford a 900k or a 1.1m house. I understand in VHCOL areas this is par for the course, but not everyone can afford that. You have my permission to buy the dream house, but stop the handwringing; it feels inappropriate.
Can we please lay off the “women should pretend they’re poorer than they are to make me feel better about myself” comments for a day? They don’t add value.
Ha, you’re replying to me and my house is worth double what hers is, I have a pool, a 2-car attached garage, and closets. I’m sorry but I still think she needs to stop feeling sorry for herself.
I bought a house in 2007, right at the top of the market, and sold it for 6K less in 2019 after redoing all the bathrooms, the kitchen, the roof, the windows, the heater and the water heater. So all the main systems except the AC. We put about $200K into the house that we didn’t “make back”. But when I look at how much it would have cost to rent a similar house in our neighborhood for those 12 years, we came out (barely) ahead, so I count it as a win.
Can you afford to sell it and buy a different one? Most people can’t, but the fact that you’re asking this question suggests that it’s a possibility. But can you actually buy a house that solves these problems at a price you can afford? If you can, it’s not ridiculous to take a loss to significantly improve your happiness, but I think you really need to run the numbers here.
Do you mean sell at a loss of 50-100k including the reno costs, or do you mean selling for 50-100k under purchase price (inflation adjusted?)? I think that’s actually pretty common (and mentally, make sure you’re not double counting the reno costs, both now and at sale)
The former. We bought it for 620k and have spent about 200k on it. Based on recent comps, I think we could sell it for about 750k, so a total loss of 70k.
(Based on current market, anyway).
But how how much more would it cost to buy a house you actually like? You also need to include that in your calculations. Plus the costs of selling and moving.
As of now, houses that we actually like are around 1.1-1.2 million. But again, we would not be moving for a couple of years. HHI is 350k a year and we owe about 420k on our current mortgage. Of course we are concerned about numbers and finances which is why I posted here.
Very interesting that you are not telling us your partner’s opinion. It’s relevant because I assume the current house and future house will be in both your names.
Compare the monthly mortgage costs, plus the loss on selling this house. Assuming you can afford that, compare that to what else you could do with the money (travel, college for the kids, saving to retire early, fabulous clothes, donating to your favorite charity, spending on a hobby, whatever else you’re into). Which will make you happier, the house or having the money for the other things? If you spend a lot of time at home, it certainly might be the house, but think carefully about the tradeoffs.
Your opinions on this current house might change in a couple of years, too.
Don’t forget Realtor commissions and closing costs. Ballpark that at $40k if your sale price is $750k.
Every house has trade offs and unless you have an inexhaustible budget you will always be compromising. Stay put and get your ROI.
You’ve been there several years and still hate it. There are major unsolvable problems. Don’t force yourself to live somewhere that makes you miserable. I think people are too fixated on houses as an investment. At the end of the day you have to live somewhere. It’s different than a stock that doesn’t impact your daily experiences.
Agree. Where you live is one of those daily things – life traffic – that impact my peace so much, and my peace impacts literally every other part of my life. I could not take as much of a financial hit as you are describing, but in your shoes, I’d be doing every single thing possible to minimize the hit while making a plan to be out of the house in 3 to 5 years in a way that is manageable. I’d be saving extra, trying to earn more, etc – anything I could do to offset the anticipated hit.
I posted below, but 1,000% this. In the end too, you still have the equity that you put into it. You might get lucky and get a lot out of your house or it may be a just place to live.
I would get over myself and live in the house I’ve bought and spent a fortune renovating cause money is real and I can’t afford to lose 100k on a whim
To me it seems like you need to work on emotional regulation, decluttering, and organizing.
Yeah- like you might not be able to build a walk in closet, but you can build a freestanding one from ikea. This is a common problem with old houses!
We just incorporated our closet into a bathroom renovation and are putting in a PAX wardrobe. It’s a great option, and has more hanging space than our small walk-in one did
That’s a pretty big leap for someone who doesn’t know me! I’m very minimalist and we have minimal clutter with 3 kids under 5 in a 2200 square foot house.
What made you think I’m not organized- the fact I would like a closet in the room my boys share, or the fact I want a garage? Are closets and garages considered luxuries now?
2200 square feet is a large house, does it have a terrible lay out? My 1400 sq ft house has 3 beds…
How many people live in your house, anon at 10:23?
Agree that 2200 square feet is a large house. Ours is 2300 and we have 3 kids. The kids each have their own fairly small rooms with small closets. Our house does not have much storage so we have done a lot to try and add functional storage.
Honestly, it sounds like you’ve made up your mind, given your arguments with anyone who is suggesting that it’s unreasonable for you to sell like this (which is what you asked). So do what you’re going to do and stop demanding strangers agree with you.
Yup
The issue people are having is that you spent $200k thinking something different would make you happy. It didn’t. Now you want to spend another $100k because you think these other things will make you happy. Maybe they will! But I think it’s a very human thing to think “if I just fix x, I’d be happy”, and once you’re past the first $200k of x’s, you have to evaluate whether there are other things at play that are interfering with your happiness.
+1,000,000
2200 square feet is a decent size house in my book. Can I ask why you aren’t able to fit a closet in a shared bedroom with that amount of space?
Sure- OP here. Their room is a converted attic, so none of the walls are full height because it’s a sloped ceiling. There’s also definitely asbestos in the wall, based on testing from other walls, so we’d have the added stress of keeping things safe. Adding a closet would involve roof work plus asbestos containment, making it a substantially pricier endeavor.
What did the $200,000 renovation do? Asking without judgement.
Could you spend some money on some armoires or a bank of built in cabinets?
OP, did you not know about the sloped ceilings or potential asbestos before you started the major renovation? I understand you may not have understood that at purchase, but you didn’t figure it out before sinking a ton of money into the house?
What makes you think another purchaser will take this closetless, garageless, asbestos-ridden house off your hand for anywhere near what you need to upsize?
Wanting a garage and/or closets in your kids’ rooms is not unreasonable and doesn’t suggest a problem with disorganization. But what I think posters are reacting to is that you seem to be willing to spend/lose hundreds of thousands of dollars and go through the process of selling a house and buying another to obtain these things. Again, I totally get wanting these things, but I can’t imagine willingly taking a loss on a house and buying a 1.1 million house to get them. I know it’s about more than just these two items–you mentioned two other things you want to renovate first–but it just does seem a little extreme to think you’ll never be happy in a house for these reasons.
Well, garages are certainly not necessities. I have lived with and without a garage. My area has frost, sleet, snow and rain. A garage is great! But it is not a necessity. Closet space is great! But there are other ways to store things. You want to move, and seemingly can take the loss. How does your partner feel about moving/financial loss? Was one of you pushing for the reno that you won’t recover? There’s a lot here. If a few hundred thousand mean nothing, go for it. But then why didn’t you buy the mire expensive house a few years ago?
Because we couldn’t afford it! My salary more than tripled in the 3 years we have lived here. I went from 60k to 200k.
1) Why did you buy the house if it didn’t have things you consider essential?
2) Why are you asking this board for thoughts if you clearly made up your mind? Are you trying to convince your husband?
3) Why did you put all this money into renovations if you couldn’t get these essentials?
Why ask then
Yes, anything that’s the difference between a 900k house and a 1.1 million house is a luxury. You can spend your money on luxuries! But it sounds like you’re stressing about the cost of those luxuries (the 100k loss?) and maybe would prefer to have that 100k for other things, so it’s reasonable for people to suggest other things that might get some of the benefit of what you’re hoping for, for less money
Do you currently live someplace different than where you grew up? My friends and I who grew up and still live in the Northeast (1500 sq ft, 100 year old homes where we have families of 2-3 kids) largely do consider garages – always detached, closets, AC, and non-radiator heat luxuries. Maybe your expectations are out of step with your market?
If a house doesn’t meet your needs, it doesn’t meet your needs. So, if that’s the case and you can afford it, you should buy a new house. However, recognize that you will incur substantial expenses by paying for a more expensive house on top major transaction costs from buying the new house AND selling your old house. Only you can decide if it is worth it.
As the old adage goes, you can have anything but not everything.
I’d land somewhere in the middle. If you’re still renovating I’d hire a designer to help with finishes that will appeal to buyers. I’d also see if there’s anything you can take off the renovation list to cut costs so you’re in less deep. I’d see where you land when it’s done and yeah, I’d consider selling, life is short and you’ll make that money back somewhere else. Even if you don’t, you learned you care a lot about where you live and you’ll make a better choice next time. So much moralizing on this thread. It’s just money.
Seriously. I’d love to know how many of these commenters actually live in and raise multiple kids in homes that lack garages and closets. We’re not talking in-home movie theaters here.
She has 2200 square feet, so not having closets seems strange for a house that size.
Older houses often have minimal closet space. People who live in those houses often buy freestanding armoires or large dressers or both to have more storage space.
Oh, I know, I once lived in a cottage with a single closer that wasn’t deep enough to hold a hanger. But if you have 2200 square feet to work with and are renovating, there surely has to be a way to fit in a small closet. If OP has three kids and at least two are sharing a room as she stated, that’s three bedrooms needed. I have a 1500 sf three bedroom and they all have reach in closets.
I’ve often said that layout is slightly more important than square footage.
I grew up in a 2,400 sq ft split level. Sounds medium sized, right? The master bedroom was so small that it could barely fit a king size bed and a dresser; the master bathroom was the size of a broom closet. Two small bedrooms for kids, an okay sized living room, kitchen, dining room, and sunroom completed the top floor. Bottom floor had a quite large game room, a spare bedroom with no closet that was also a conduit to the laundry room, and a laundry room.
It was such a silly use of space.
I’m in a house like this. We have a very nice shed in the backyard we use for added storage. It cost under $10k, and it is very nice. Strongly recommend it as an option for OP. I rotate the kids’ stuff out quarterly, and all sports gear / bikes / etc is in the shed.
I do — two kids, no garage, and some bedrooms without closets. I grew up with three siblings and we didn’t have a garage, and all four of us shared one closet that was in the hallway.
Ideal? Maybe not. Perfectly fine? Yes. Everyone’s needs are different, but honestly, some people on this board need to touch grass.
I do, as do many of my friends. Very normal in the Northeast.
No garage is pretty standard where I live. We have one but I do think of it as a luxury.
No moralizing took place. OP asked for opinions when she clearly already made up her mind. If she was looking for affirmation, this board is the wrong place because we will give our real opinions.
What’s interesting to me is understanding why she asked for opinions. I assume she has a partner who is pushing back, or there are real concerns about finances and/or retirement savings. If finances are the issue, she should be reading these responses carefully. Not everyone gets to live in a dream home or chooses to live in a dream home, even if they can afford it.
Sorry but calling the OP rich, spoiled, discontented, etc. is absolutely moralizing something that’s just a financial question. Sometimes you take a loss. It’s not that big a deal, she can make more money. If more people here supported people like yesterday’s 500k poster and aimed a little higher themselves, these questions wouldn’t prompt such hand wringing.
We don’t know her finances (other than knowing she’s “not wealthy”), so how can we answer a financial question? If it’s moralizing to tell people not to jeopardize their emergency funds or retirement savings, I don’t think that’s so bad, but maybe we should just always agree with OP so no one’s feelings get hurt.
No one used the word spoiled until you did. Saying that OP could work on her contentedness is not moralizing; it’s just saying that that might make her happy.
I agree the comment above about being “somewhat wealthy” is hot garbage, though!
You really think that people here need to “aim a little higher themselves”? What an asinine (and rude) thing to say.
No one called her spoiled. No one called her rich. But pointing out that someone is rich is not moralizing. She can do whatever she wants. She asked for feedback on making this decision. This is not complex.
Yeah, I stand by the aim higher comment. Every time someone posts about making money or living somewhere expensive people jump all over them. Aim higher. No men’s board would put up with that nonsense.
Oh please 11:38. OP basically said they can’t afford to take the loss, or that it would be difficult for them. A person who could afford this wouldn’t post it, and if they did, we wouldn’t question their wants.
“No men’s board would put up with that nonsense”
Have you seen the internet??? People definitely have opinions about wealthy men.
How we earn money and what we spend it on is a big part of how people live in society, and of course it reflects their values (think of how many threads there are about people figuring out how to plan finances with a partner who values enjoyment now vs. future risk differently than them; or about purchasing from companies that do/do not share their values; or how they think about charitable giving; or how inheritances affect family dynamics). I’m all for women earning a lot, but it seems like a wildly illogical jump to “…because money is just money!”
I have a really low mortgage rate so I will never ever move even though it’s an old compromise choice house with a TON of issues. I couldn’t rent what I want without a drastic commute change and I like my commute and neighborhood and neighbors. I am just too busy to care a lot. We had a carpenter carve out closets from a wide room and make a window seat, so there are 3- and 4- figure fixes to a lot of your interior issues.
I’m also a member of the interest-rate-so-low-I’ll-never-move club, even though 1. we could afford a higher-cost home and 2. all I want in life is an ensuite. So instead, I focus on better interior design and furniture, getting my landscaping to a good place, and smaller finishing touches to help make up for the fact that I wish I had slightly more space. (And, again, an ensuite.) But I simply cannot give up that interest rate! Locked in, baby!
OP, might I suggest putting a pin in this decision until the current reno is finished? Extensive renovations are stressful and it’s certainly making a home you’re already dissatisfied with even more unpleasant. You might feel more optimistic about its potential after the reno is done and you can really see progress towards a home you like better.
+1 – I don’t know anyone who likes their home mid renovation. I’d also consider redecorating after it’s done so you get the full love it or list it experience.
If you’re not in a position to sell for a couple of years, finish your renovation and focus on making it as beautiful and family friendly as possible. If you’re in a position to make your daily life better at a substantial but acceptable loss then do it. That’s real estate. That’s life.
If you need some help reframing what a dream house really is, I’m here for it. There is no perfect house. I don’t mean in your price range or in your town, I mean there is no perfect house. I mean once the house is big enough for an extended stay with the whole extended family it’s cavernous for the day to day. I mean that decor that your decorator calls timeless today will likely look dated in ten years (sorry!). I mean that if you can walk to the coffee shop you probably can’t have the large formal garden. I mean that no matter what the relator tells you the new houses really don’t have the charm of the old houses and the old houses really don’t have the convenience of a modern layout.
I say this as a person who wakes up every day very happy in a deeply imperfect house; the dream house is the one with the right trade offs for you and your family. It’s the one that’s decorated and organized in the way that appeals to you and your family. It’s the home you create. And whether you stay or go I really want that for you.
This is a lovely comment. Thank you for writing it.
Yes, totally agree. We used to live in a 2500 sqft new build in suburbia with walk in closets in every room and a two car attached garage. It was hideous and we hated it. We now live in a 100 year old house that sounds sort of like OPs- 1700 sqft, hardly any closets, a one car detached garage that we can barely fit the car into, but lots of original woodwork and charm. We like the house and neighborhood so much better, though I do still miss the closets and having an attached garage. But it’s precisely the smaller houses and lack of big garages that help make the neighborhood dense enough to be easily walkable. We don’t have kids, so it’s easier to compromise on space, but this is also the neighborhood I grew up in, so I appreciate how great it was to grow up somewhere kids aren’t so car dependent (I didn’t have a closet or a garage in my childhood home either). OP needs to figure out what the right set of tradeoffs for her family is, whether in terms of money or in terms of the house.
Seconding that this is a lovely comment.
This is so true. I love my house, truly. But is it perfect? No, it’s not. I’d love a bigger kitchen with a walk-in pantry, but then that would cause other issues. I would love to be located within walking distance of the elementary, middle school and high school. That’s literally impossible; we’re within walking distance of one. I would love a couple of small, cozy nooks, but then I wouldn’t have the large spaces for entertaining, which we also value! And the list goes on.
The purpose of money is to make us happy and fullfil our needs. My husband gave me a hard time for painting my work office because I was investing in a building that didn’t belong to me. Here, we are talking about pennies compared to your loss. But I spent too much time in my office not to be happy. My happniness is related to my environment and I hated our second home for 15 years. We now live in a home with a great vibe so we tend to forgive all the issues as it is an older home. Your happiness can very well be worth 100K.
I’m just wondering why you took on a huge, expensive renovation on a house that you don’t like. For most people, “dream home” is out of the realm of possibility. Rather than let this nag at you for the next five years, or whatever the case may be, maybe reframe it as, “We’re staying here until the kids are grown, and then we’ll reevaluate.” Or whatever the right milestone is for you.
If you can’t actually consider it for years, I wouldn’t worry too much about whether it’ll be a good idea a couple years from now. All that energy can be expended trying to improve your lived experience now. Kids grow up and renovations finish and you start to build community and maybe things will become better with time. Spend more time out of the house in your yard or at park or library, buy furniture that fits the space, maybe get a shed for some of the stuff overflow. And if you’ve done all that and you’re in a position where you could move and you still want to? Know that you did your best and move on without guilt.
I tend to agree with this. Kids’ needs change a lot over time. Do what you can to live in the stage you’re at now. The right furniture for the space can make a huge difference, as can outdoor storage. Use paint colors that you love. Decorate with things you love. Those are a lot more controllable than finding the perfect structure.
I didn’t read through all of the replies but here’s my story: husband and I bought a house as newlyweds in early 2008 and sold it about 7 years later. When we sold, we had to write a bigger check to get out of the house than we did for the down payment on our new place! I *never* think about that now. Ever. It was worth it. I loved that first house but the market was crappy when we sold. We’ve since bought/sold several (5!) other properties and have made money every time. It’s a long game, and I think your happiness at home is really important. In fact, my top two spending priorities in life are experiences (think travel, shows, etc.) and our home. Just my two cents.
Favorite European shoe brands? I’m headed to France/Italy next week, and I want to do some shopping while there. Looking for leather shoes that are comfortable, both pumps for the office and more casual shoes.
I always pick up repetto flats in Paris.
Repetto in France and Cafè Noir in Italy
I know the Eddie Bauer Girl on the Go trench is popular around here. I tried on the rain jacket version in store and liked the fit. However, I think the lined version might make it better as a shoulder-season jacket when temps are in the 40s, 50s and low 60s. Can anyone confirm or deny whether it works well for that purpose? Wind is often my issue, more than temperature! I currently have a lined softshell coat for fall and spring, but it’s seen better days, and I haven’t seen anything similar.
I want to be able to wear this with work clothes. I don’t love how long black coats look on me; it’s a very heavy look. I’m considering either the aubergine or the gray. Thoughts on colors?
Also, as a Midwesterner, can I just say that I have way too many coats for one person? And yet they all get used.
My lined GOTG is my “winter” coat in NC. The lining zips or buttons out, and I usually wear it lining-less for rain, etc.
My only wish for the otherwise perfect jacket? Zippered armpit vents.
Yes I find it great in those temps as long as I wear a scarf or sweater if it’s 40.
I have the aubergine color and find it really versatile. I don’t have the lined version and can see where it would be nice for the inbetween weather. I find the jacket runs big so I can usually put a pretty bulky sweater or thin down vest under mine if I need extra warmth.
Way too warm for 60s! I wear it in 30s-low 50s.
Yeah, I figured 60s would be too much, unless I take the liner out. Is it a pain to get back in? (Have had coats like this.)
No it’s easy
of all the fallacies i’ve been sold over the years by women’s magazines/ blogs etc the number one biggest lie is that clothes can be altered. I have NEVER been happy with anything that I altered beyond hemming. So here’s the question, could this dress be hemmed from the middle tier up so the ruffle remains on the bottom? The model is 5’10” meaning the average american woman would need it to come up 6 inches.
https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/aqua-metallic-paisley-maxi-boho-dress-exclusive?ID=5670304&CategoryID=2910
I’m not an alterations expert; just throwing this out there: it’s a $128 dress that would probably cost as much if not more to do the type of alteration that you want. Even then, the waist might be in the wrong spot.
If you’re going to spend $250+ on a dress, just spend that on something that looks good without the changes. That way, your money is going to a higher quality dress (better fabric, better construction).
I agree with this. I still remember the bridesmaid’s dress I wore for my sister’s wedding. The alterations cost as much as the dress! Although it fit as well as it was going to, that dress was really not made for my body. There’s a lesson to be learned there about sticking with what works, when it’s your choice alone.
I think the best way to lose that much length without throwing the proportions completely off would be to take two inches from the bottom of the torso at that odd diagonal drop waist seam, then take two inches off from both of the tiers in the skirt, probably from the top of each non-ruffled part under the ruffle of the tier above. It’s going to be a complete PITA given how flowy, flouncy, and lined everything appears to be.
op here. i think you’re probably right. it’s not that i love this dress so much but i like that it both dressy and yet also not bare on top…..
I agree with the complete PITA assessment. Flowy fabric that is likely fussy to work with, lots of flounces and ruffles, lining. It makes me want to start swearing just to think of taking on a project like that.
This doesn’t directly answer your question, but models wear model-specific versions of the garment, not the version you would buy. I’d look at the garment dimensions for more accuracy on length.
is this true?
I mean, I made that comment before I saw it was a $128 fast fashion-y dress. I don’t know at that price point. But certainly for higher end items, the garment is tailored to the model in the way they assume you will tailor it to yourself.
that sounds like a tricky alteration to me — I think you’d be disappointed with results.
You may not have found the right tailor. I have had two tailors who have done phenomenal work for me – one basically helped me turn a hideous plus-size maternity suit into something that made me feel confident and stylish, another has worked miracles on jeans to eliminate that gapping in the waist. They are out there! But having said that, I don’t think that you could successfully alter that dress to take 6 inches off.
what is the current on trend cover/ wrap for a cocktail dress? i feel like pashminas look dated but what if the occasion require something dressier than a jean jacket?
Leather jacket?
Niche question for anyone here who sews.
I am receiving a very nice sewing machine soon and am excited to try it out on a few projects. Clothing, specifically, and I would consider myself an adventurous beginner or high knowledge/low experience intermediate level. I have a lot of hand tailoring experience, but have not really used a decent machine in decades. I have used patterns before but mostly modify existing garments. Where should I start? Any favorite patterns that cater toward RTW US size 14-ish pears, and any favorite fabric suppliers? Thanks!
i have nothing to add except i’m wildly impressed.