Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Vienna Sheath Dress
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I’m absolutely swooning over this new arrival from M.M.LaFleur.
My favorite thing about this brand is that you can tell that there are some women who have had to sit in meetings with a bunch of men in suits involved in the design choices. The tailored fit, the cap sleeves, the work-appropriate v-neck? Perfection. I also love that it’s available in a color that’s not black, gray or navy! (But it does also come in black if you need it!)
The dress is $329 at M.M.LaFleur and comes in sizes 00-20. There are verrrrry lucky sizes of a “dark emerald” still available, also. If there is no other code, give CORPORETTE a try for 15% off.
Some of the best dresses for work as of 2025 include options from Ann Taylor, J.Crew, BOSS, T. Tahari, M.M.LaFleur, and Lands' End. For really affordable options, check out Quince and Amazon sellers Miusol or MUXXN (both with vintage vibes). We've also rounded up the best plus-size dresses for work!
Sales of note for 8/12/25:
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your full price purchase, and $99 dresses and jackets — extra 60% off sale also
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles with code
- Dermstore – Anniversary sale, up to 25% off everything
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off all sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles & up to 60% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything and extra 60% off clearance
- Mejuri – Up to 25% off everything
- M.M.LaFleur – New August drop, and up to 70% off sale – try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
- Neiman Marcus – Last call designer sale! Spend $200, get a $50 gift card (up to $2000+ spend with $500 gift card)
- Nordstrom – 9,800+ new women's markdowns
- Rothy's – Ooh: limited edition T-strap flats / Mary Janes
- Spanx – Free shipping on everything
- Talbots – Semi-annual red door sale! 50% off all markdowns + extra 20% off already marked-down items
Seeing as it’s going to top out around 67 degrees here in Boston today, I’m thinking about fall clothes. I’m in need of a somewhat polished fall jacket that I can toss on when it’s a cool morning in early fall through early December or so when I need something heavier. I have plenty of casual jackets in this category but never anything that I’ve felt confident in at work, or going to lunch meetings or whatever (I’m 40 and in finance, fwiw).
I’m thinking a quilted jacket? I’ve always liked Barbour. I know Burberry is very popular in my professional circles. I don’t necessarily need either of those (and I lowkey cringe at the identifiable Burberry plaid) but that’s along the lines of what I’m thinking. What other jackets should I be looking at?
Love my Cole Haan leather jacket for this. Not a moto style, more classic and basic. I’m in MN and lined leather is surprisingly warm.
I used to live in Boston and saw a lot of leather jackets on dry fall and spring days.
If it’s a question of confidence, get what your colleagues are wearing.
It’s not confidence. I just like how the other professional women i see in the financial district look – the silhouette and general style. And I know that’s what they’re wearing because it’s pretty easy to tell from the plaid. Maybe said differently, if the resounding response is Burberry is the greatest thing since sliced bread, well… then I’ll probably get it, but won’t just get it because it’s Burberry.
it’s just that you said you didn’t have a jacket you feel confident in
please, giver her a break and answer the fashion question
Omg I guess I need to return to my hunt for a fall jacket.
I had a dark green bomber jacket from JCrew that inexplicably started shedding. So looking for a replacement for that. Maybe I should wait for labor day sales?
Cropped or full-length trench?
Not a full length trench. Hip length
Not an answer for OP’s request, but wanted to plug the Lululemon (Rain Rebel) rain jacket. I’ve been pleased that the dark green reads as fairly neutral / not too sporty, while still being very functional with a hood. It’s the jacket I reach for nearly daily in the fall and spring now.
I wear this jacket in black with every sort of outfit. The cut is sleek and tailored.
The hip length quilted Burberry is popular for a reason – it wears like absolute iron. I’ve had mine for 15+ years now (it was my first “biglaw bonus gift to self” before I put the rest to student loans) and it still looks new, plus it’s warm enough for highs down to ~40 or so with a good cashmere layer underneath, and a good windblock.
If you wear the sleeves turned down, the plaid is only visible on the underside of the c..lar.
I’ve eyed Barbours over the years but the rewaxing maintenance seems more annoying than the occasional trip to the dry cleaner.
Would second this. I bought mine as my bonus gift from my first job in 2012…it’s still going strong!
Also in Boston and my rotation is a beige quilted Burberry, a navy quilted Barbour that’s a little longer, and a waxed Barbour jacket. I wear whichever one strikes me on a given day and they get a ton of use in fall and spring. I also will pull out my longer Burberry trench. Between those 4 I feel no need to acquire another fall/spring jacket until one wears out!
Yes, it’s so good. I know it’s basic, but the quality and versatility are unmatched.
I don’t understand limiting yourself to one jacket? It’s cold in Boston! Get a collection and then wear what hits you mood wise.
Thank you for posting this. I was just thinking I need a nicer fall rain-type coat as my area seems to have turned into a rainforest this year and my REI jacket isn’t nice enough for work. One of the Barbours with a hood might work.
I agree with the others on Burberry. I bought one for a promotion in 2018, wear it frequently, and it’s still going strong!
If you aren’t feeling the Burberry plaid or very country look of this jacket, you might look at Lafayette 148. I have had leather and quilted jackets from them that I have loved, and that are a bit more modern looking. If you like the hacking the moors look, the Burberry will last forever.
I am actually surprised to learn these jackets are worn in a professional context! They don’t read “office” to me! But I am in Texas, maybe we are weird here. Most of our winter is actually this weather, so I have a variety of jackets I wear, but my preferred look is a warm blazer with a big scarf. I have a few blazers that really tread the line between blazer and full on jacket because of the material they’re made of. Some are too old to still be available, but a couple are from Smythe, which I bet you could still find online.
I have the marine layer corbet quilted jacket and love it for fall (pnw)
This is also a hole in my coat wardrobe! Everything I have seems too casual.
Random question, but does anyone know who the blond woman greeting the world leaders is in this video? Seems like a weird job for Karoline whatsit or Ivanka, and everyone else I can think of (Melania, Zelenskyy’s wife, UN head) have different hair. I thought it was Jill Biden for a minute!
https://www.nytimes.com/video/us/politics/100000010347694/trump-zelensky-ukraine-war-negotiations.html?smid=url-share
Monica Crowley, WH Chief of Protocol
She must have a really really tough job right now
Or not – no such thing as rules in this administration!
For those of you in the thick of the sandwich generation, what do you wish your parents had done earlier in the process to make things easier on you. DH and I are in our mid 60s and still active and of sound mind, so what can we do now to help our kids out later? I never want to be a burden on my children. My own parents died when I was young so I never had the care giving thing. I do have a chronic illness that will eventually do me in, so I know we will need support at some point in time. We have medical POAs, LTC insurance, and money put aside for care. DH and I have no qualms with spending money on care or having people come in to help us. We’ve also discussed what type of care we want (or rather don’t want) with the kids pretty regularly.
My parents are a similar age to you, and are thankfully currently very healthy but I’ve seen friends go through it recently. I guess for me, it’s acknowledging limitations and making a plan. My parents retired abroad and moved rurally, but the assumption is that when they can’t drive, they’ll move to a walkable downtown location – meaning they can get out and about and it’s easier for us to fly in and get to them.
My MIL shouldn’t be driving due to her vision. She can somehow get the all clear from the optician but reports suggest she’s scary to drive with and her vision has declined dramatically. They live in an urban area where a car isn’t necessary, but she won’t listen to our pleas, and it’s negatively impacting the relationship.
Does your MIL have a gerontologist? That’s my friend’s specialty and a big part of her job is testing seniors and taking away their driver’s licenses when needed.
They live in the UK so doubtful. Probs a multi year wait for a specialist like that
In some states, you can submit an anonymous report to the DMV requiring her to come back in and pass a drive test. I would have NO qualms about doing that. Unsafe drivers kill people.
If only. I live abroad and would do so without hesitation if we could.
You can report in the UK too. There’s a place on the DVLA website. Most countries with modern licencing systems have a method for reporting drivers with medical issues who should not be driving.
Make a plan for how you will be cared for that doesn’t involve your kids being your full-time unpaid caregiver. Structure your plans so you can enjoy being with your kids in your later years and they can help you in some ways without the stress of forcing them to choose between you and their jobs or their own families. Be open to senior communities, visiting nurses, visiting social workers, and assisted living.
Above all, don’t refuse help and insist you’re fine on your own. That’s an unimaginable mental burden for your loved ones, especially if they live in other states. You’ll make them worry every single day if you refuse help.
We tell the kids all the time to hire help for us and not take things on themselves.
my dad has said this…but as he is aging he is getting crankier for lack of a better term and says he doesnt want to be a burden, but then makes himself a burden in the same sentence. i’m sure i’ll be a cranky old person one day too. but it makes it hard
Unfortunately there just aren’t any guarantees. I know my father never wanted to be a burden and he did all the right things. But, he is. Understanding it’s in many ways out of your control, I do think older parents with houses packed full of stuff tend to stress adult kids out. If that’s something you can do, it might be appreciated.
Yeah, my grandma is an extreme minimalist after having to clean out her mother/sister’s/ex husband’s houses. My mom likes more stuff around her, my MILs have a jam packed house, and my FIL moved across an ocean so god knows how that’s going to work.
There are no guarantees of making things easy, but there are near-guarantees that people can make things unnecessarily hard. Avoiding the latter is a big part of helping your family.
IMHO.
Disposing of stuff is something we can work on. We cleaned out 1/2 the basement last winter and plan to tackle the other 1/2 this year. Unforntunately, we both have hobbies that we are currently participating in that involve a lot of STUFF. I’m making plans with a younger hobby friend to take most of my stuff when the time comes and have told my son to call her. My DH needs to do the same with his stuff. I’ve also stressed that our stuff is our stuff and to feel free to just call the trash guys to clean out the house. And I have money set aside to fund that.
See this is great—I’m fine getting rid of junk. But my dad has a hobby that I have no idea what of his stuff is valuable, and what is hobby stuff vs important paperwork, what can be junked vs who might want it. If you’ve got clearly marked/located for “this is the important stuff”(wills/paperwork, jewelry, family history and heirlooms, whatever) vs “this is stuff to give to Dave” that’s fine. Whereas my dad has hobby stuff in boxes with his taxes, so we have to go through each box, and we have no idea which stuff is junkable vs worth something. Though admittedly I’ve also heard of lots of friends parents who have an outsized idea of what of theirs is “valuable” (ie hummel figurines etc).
I think disposing of stuff is the easiest thing to deal with for your kids or others, there are so many commission based estate sale companies, it’s the last thing I’d worry about.
If you want to stay in your home for as long as possible, make sure it’s a home where you can age in place (no stairs, bedroom and bathroom on the main level, etc).
And make sure you acknowledge the difference between what you’d like to have (aging in place at home) and what may be realistic for your situation (full-time assisted living). Most people want to stay at home and can’t.
Also, where your home is matters a lot. Is there good public transportation? Is it walkable? Are you near an airport?
My parents relocated in their early 70s to a house with nothing in walking distance and no public transportation links that is an hour drive from any airport. Their health has rapidly declined since that time and I will be surprised if they reach the ten year mark in this house.
Our neighborhood is walkable with 2 grocery stores and a pharmacy as well as coffee shops etc, but there is no public transportation and we are an hour from the airport (and an hour and a half from 2 more). I have no desire to move closer to the airport and have no idea of any place within a day’s drive that has public transportation. I do think about getting to doctor’s appointments for my specialists, so hope that Uber/Lyft/Waymo is still a thing in 15 years.
I meant buses as public transportation. My parents moved beyond the periphery of the WMATA bus system in order to get a bigger house. I’m not suggesting that they needed a subway, but a bus stop within a half mile of the house would have been nice.
Thank you for thinking about this! What I’m grateful my parents have done is sell the family home earlier than they “needed” to and moved to a 55+ community in their mid 60s.
They are planning to move to a step care type facility after that, around 80 if their health stays good until then, and already looking around for where they want to get on the wait list, which you can apparently do for not a tremendous (to them, anyway) amount of money, so if you later decide you don’t want to live at that place after all you’re not out a ton.
Are your children local to you? I’m grateful that DH and I both have siblings that live near our parents – they bear more of the burden of “need to be there to do it”, so we try to do what we can from afar (like researching stuff).
That’s so great of your parents – right now I’m watching my cousins and friends deal with their aging parents who absolutely refuse to move to retirement/care homes and it’s so frustrating.
Does 55+ prohibit younger family members from living with you? I had kids late, so at 55 my kids will be in high school and will be back at least seasonally when they go to college. It wouldn’t be bad as an elder to have younger people about for help within the household.
Nope usually not in the US!
It depends on the community. My parents’ does not allow minors, but does allow over 18. Designed to allow people with college kids to have them live at “home” for the summers, etc.
My grandmother’s 55+ community is strict about it and won’t allow anyone under 55 living at the location, and visitors are limited to no more than a month without special permission from the HOA. (Which is mostly given for live-in nursing care.) The one a grew up next to was super lax about it and did let some families that had kids older move in when they still had a high schooler and college kids for the summer.
The places I’ve seen do prohibit minors, including minor children. I’ve also heard stuff about people claiming their minor children were just “visiting” and getting in trouble with the HOA.
+1. On very short notice my parent had to fly across the country, clean out decades worth of junk, and sell a home that wasn’t in great shape. Of course this happened at a spectacularly inconvenient time when my parent had a lot going on. Things would’ve been much easier if my grandparents downsized and relocated before they “needed” to.
I know you think you’ll upend your life when you’re still feeling vigorous and healthy so your kids don’t get inconvenienced at a bad time, but as someone pushing 60, I have no desire to do that.
I meant do things like throw away food that expired years ago, get rid of those three giant bags of buttons you never use, donate clothes you haven’t worn in a over a year, keep your important documents separate from miscellaneous papers, etc. And when you’re pushing 80 without a local support network that’s when you might consider moving.
Honestly, living in a 55+ community sounds like hell to me. I love my younger neighbors and their kiddos. The 55+ communities around here have horrible HOAs and are very sterile. Plus, they all have giant multilevel houses. And it would mean my husband would need to give up one of his hobbies, so no thanks.
My mom has a form of vascular dementia, so that has resulted in a very slow, gradual decline. I wish she would have been more open with us about the early signs, so that we could have been involved and making plans with her much earlier in the process. I realize that the early signs are not always terribly obvious, but we now know of a few incidents that were very telling that she never told us about. It would have been really helpful if she had involved us in the major decisions she was making much sooner, as well.
For example, she chose her assisted living facility very quickly on her own and locked everything in without any help, just informing us she was moving on X date. That left us scrambling to make arrangements to get her moved and to be available to help with it. More importantly, she chose a facility without memory care, so now we’re having to find a new place so that option is available when she inevitably needs it. She ended up paying someone sketchy to help with applying for certain federal benefits and I had to clean up that mess. I also spent a lot of time tracking down and figuring out all of her financial information, because she was having trouble remembering those details by the time I got involved.
I’m sure she was trying to avoid burdening us, but it would have been so much easier in the long run if she had included us earlier. So I guess my general advice is to avoid the urge to not “burden” your kids before you have to and make sure they have the information they’ll need to help you while you’re still able to provide it.
I should add that I am incredibly grateful that she realized that she needed assisted living and initiated that process herself. I realize that many people have to fight to get their parents to realize that they shouldn’t be living on their own anymore. She also stopped driving on her own.
I have a death book, although it probably needs some attention. We’re pretty open with the kids about our health. Dh is very healthy for his age and my daughter has a professional interest in the chronic disease I have so we talk about research and progress.
Downsize and go to assisted living when it’s time, and don’t put up a fuss about it. Or accept help and hire it. Don’t be the “we don’t need that” people. Everyone is going to need help.
Assisted living is mainly 80+; what would have been helpful is for my parents to have moved before then because a crisis at 80 living solo in a house is often really bad if it’s not fatal. Plus being injured for days while you are dying.
How is this different from what I said?
it’s not.
This is honestly the biggest thing and what I also posted some ways above. Accept. The. Help. Of course it was complicated in our case by anosognosia (clinical lack of awareness of her disease) but still.
It sounds like you are on the right track. Biggest pinch points currently discussed with my mid-forties friends:
– lack of clear information about medical situation. I often hear about MRIs after the fact. Don’t tell me that the heart issue that’s been ongoing for the last year is now resolved when you didn’t get tell me you had one in the first place. Keep a list of doctors and medical conditions in an easily accessible place.
– lack of clear source for day to day information. So if a parent passes, I can contact insurance or bank or the gardener or the housekeeper etc. Even a labelled binder is enough to get the ball rolling on things. A friend’s parents had done wills but did not tell them the name of the law firm where the wills were held. Took days of digging to figure it out.
– saving too many items. Start clearing out now. Accept it if your children do not want the items you think they should.
“A friend’s parents had done wills but did not tell them the name of the law firm where the wills were held. Took days of digging to figure it out.”
You can even give your kids copies of the Will, which should have the attorney’s name on the cover envelope.
In many states, if the original cannot be produced, a copy is considered acceptable. Maybe the law firm ceased operations. Maybe someone never finds the key to the safe deposit box.
I should hope my children don’t want my things. It’s hard though, as I said we have active hobbies that involve a lot of stuff, and we entertain so that’s even more stuff for cooking and serving and we both have huge book collections but they are in active use. I’ll get to work on paring some of it down, but years of life is years of life. I hope they can hire a firm to clean out and junk all the stuff. My cousin did that for his dad, and it was a process but only involved phone calls on my cousin’s part.
I think it’s fine to have scads of books and I plan to have a lovely little library until I pass. But you can leave info that says there is no cash or other relevant documents hidden in the books, that all family heirloom or valuable books are on xyz shelf, and books can be boxed and donated to charity that you have checked accepts book. It’s more that you don’t want to be the people who hid cash in books or use tax info papers as a bookmark and then forget.
Is it really that bad if they leave cash in books that are donated to Goodwill? If you didn’t know it was there, are you really going to miss it?
It is if it was counted in the will and then the money cannot be found for disbursement. Huge headache for the executor.
My grandmother grew up during the Great Depression and did not trust banks. The entirety of what she left the grandchildren was hidden in books and inside her sewing table.
I echo two and three. Please keep a list. I have no idea about this with my parents, despite asking, and it worries me. I just get “oh we’ll get a list together” or “oh just ask Jason at the bank” (Ok, what bank? you expect me to remember this? I haven’t lived in our hometown in 20 years, I have no idea who that is).
Both of my parents are deceased now, but I cared for them both. My dad had a stroke in his 80s and until then he was still fully independent. But he had diabetes that made the stroke recovery more challenging. I will say what would have helped the most was divesting of their assets earlier so they could qualify for Medicaid faster. Set aside money for in-home assistance and accept it. A lot of people here will default to moving into a senior community, but not every family can afford that. Mine couldn’t. But you do need a lot of assistance like a housekeeper or respite care for those who don’t necessarily need full time nursing care.
My mom was in even better shape — independent until her 90s and then had dementia right before she died. Make sure your children understand that if you want to not be hospitalized at death, hospice is the way to go. Sadly we had to fight to get my mom hospice care for months because one didn’t want them to have it. That was more stressful than it should have been.
My MIL is committed to staying in her multi-level house alone, with a plan (which is unrealistic IMO) of hiring help to move in with her when she needs to.
For other reasons, my parents moved out of our family home years ago and are in a two BR condo with an elevator.
I am dreading the work involved in emptying out MIL’s house which, best case, is done on a schedule and not due to an emergency, but could also have to move very quickly if she breaks a hip or is otherwise incapacitated.
Any work you can do to prepare for those extremely likely types of changes to mobility and needs, realistically, will help your kids.
I always feel bad for people whose own parents really did get a lot of support at home. The world has changed a lot since then!
“Committed to staying home” is almost always a problem. It’s just not realistic to be wedded to what is usually the hardest and least supported route.
Safe congregate care is an unsolved problem still, so it’s just all hard.
If there are some means, it would be nice to sync up with an elder law attorney sooner rather than later. My In-laws were very much prepared financially and documentation wise to glide into their elder years as healthy individuals. But a wrench was really thrown in when my FIL had early on-set dementia and my MIL is now in a spend-down phase to qualify for Medicaid. Had she/we started working with an elder law attorney sooner, there are several things that could have been done to protect her more.
One of the best approaches I’ve seen for folks with means is living in a space an elder can age into and being willing to accept plenty of help, even before it’s strictly necessary.
I think “I’ll move when I have to” leads to a much worse quality of life than “hey, if I get worse, this place is accessible to me and to paid helpers and has community without needing to drive.” No one sees that they’re worse enough to move until they fall and it’s a crisis.
The people I know who have done this purchased beautiful homes (an apartment for one, a fully accessible SFH for another) when they were young and healthy.
I’m wishing daily that my parents would downsize from their packed-full-of-stuff 3500sq ft home that’s deeply impractical for aging in place…and yet, that won’t happen.
One of the smartest things my in-laws did was moving to a single-level home.
I wish my father had put in grab bars, etc, slowly as he made home improvements. He would probably have been open to planning for the ‘some day’ when he might need them. When he actually needed them he didn’t want to admit it, so fell several times before coming around.
Clean out your junk, if you have any. My mother is 80 and has so many possessions that there are piles all over her house (pretty dishes, pretty linens) and a full basement and a full garage. I’m an only child, she’s broke, and I can only imagine the fortune I’ll spend hiring someone to dispose of all of it after she’s gone.
Ha, my mom is always like “This will be yours one day!” and like, I appreciate the sentiment but I don’t want or need your china collection…
Ha, I’ve told her very specifically which chinas (oh, there are so many patterns), etc I’m interested in, in the hopes it will help the others out the door. It has worked for a few things, but the scale here is so great 😣
I have a tip for this – do NOT use 800-GOT-JUNK because you recognize the name. It was literally four times the cost of a local outfit that did the job quickly and smoothly. This is just throwing junk into dumpsters and you don’t need “national experience” – check Yelp reviews in the local area for a 4-star company and enjoy the massive savings.
On the contrary, I love 800 junk and they were invaluable in helping clear my mother in law’s place on demand the day she agreed to it.
Sure, if you like spending quadruple the cost, go for it. The local guys were also invaluable, showed up next day (which is when we asked them to), and threw things into dumpsters just as well. It’s the same service.
I’ve never found it quadruple the cost. Perhaps you just luckily live somewhere with a comparable service.
Any town or city has local junk haulers, lol.
I’m a risk averse person so the advantage of a 800 Got Junk for me is that they’re licensed, insured, and bonded. I would not hire Chuck with a Truck to do this, personally.
The reconciliation here is to look up, in advance, the applicable local service and plan to have them come when needed, and if you end up in the situation unexpectedly, 1-800-got-junk will get the job done fast and without any need for you to do research. You’ll pay a little more $$$ but save a lot of stress and brain cells you would have used trying to optimize for the exactly right local service on short notice.
It literally doesn’t take stress or brain cells – “junk removal” on Yelp, pick the top local company, call, done. We saved $800, twice.
$800 isn’t worth my time.
lol, to be so rich that five brainless minutes to save $800 just doesn’t register. That’s even better than the Westchester thread.
It’s a little absurd to go full contrarian on this. It would be like having Delta and United that have the same route at the same time of day and you have no loyalty points with either and Delta is $800 more, but you choose it because your mom flew Delta once and you remember her mentioning the name. Make it make sense.
Get rid of as much stuff as you can. My parents have spent years going through my everything that was in grandmother’s house and garage and it’s been really hard on everyone. She kept everything. My parents are the same way but to a more extreme degree and it’s stressful to think about.
On the other hand, my mother in law got rid of everything she doesn’t need and moved into a small single-floor townhouse with an attached garage. It’s still heartbreaking to think about when something happens, but the material items will cause much less stress
Wear the GD hearing aids! There are SO MANY people, including my mother, who won’t wear them. PLEASE wear them. Not being able to hear really pushes people away.
Omg, yes. Just wear the damn things. There is nothing more aggravating than fighting about this issue.
+ 1 million to this. Not hearing well also increases dementia risks!
My Dad has started wearing hearing aids regularly and it has been a life changing improvement! He went from being isolated and not participating in conversations to being much more engaged.
My parents are 80. I wish, more than anything, that they’d either renovated their house for accessibility 10 years ago OR moved into someplace accessible. The time to add grab bars is NOW.
Write out how you want your funeral to look if that is not extremely obvious for your kids.
That’s easy peasy. No funeral no memorial service. Creamation and do what ever the heck they want with the ashes. Use some of the cash that they know where it’s hidden to grab a good meal together and talk about what great parents we were.
Ehhh, yes and no. A funeral and/or wake can be an important closure event for the living, especially the adult children who cared for and managed end of life care. It avoids what my mom calls the “6 month grocery store wake” when everyone you run into out of context for 6 months wants to spend 5 minutes with you grieving and asking questions. My grandmother initially said “Oh, I don’t want any of that” because she was a depression era war bride who didn’t want to ever be a fuss, but my mom explained this to her and Nana changed her mind quickly.
In any event, get the plans or what is at least tolerable in writing or recorded some other way.
lol… not here, idk who tf you are.
i haven’t had to use it yet, but i have a handwritten list of all of my dad’s online accounts and by all i mean all, like his NY Times Account to Bloomingdales to bank accounts, etc. and passwords. i have a copy of his will with advance directives and the appropriate power of attorneys. what i wish i had, was a list of his doctors and their phone numbers as well as the proper paperwork for me to be able to start talking to them now….not bc i actually plan on talking to them now, but my dad is almost 76 and i’m starting to notice some things. i also wish my dad would actually make a plan – within one visit he will go from, “I want to die in my house,” to “I should sell the house and move into an apartment,” to “I should move across the country to where you live.” i understand it is a big decision and a hard decision, but i fear he is taking too long to make the decision! i wish he would at least go through the house and get it ready to sell, bc i can’t imagine him being there for more than another 5 years and it will be VERY hard for my sister and i to manage since we aren’t local. he also insists he never plans on living in a nursing home and will swallow pills instead…but also has said his goal is to make it until 88. i kind of wish he would sell his house and move into one of those places where you can get additional levels of care depending on what you need. my in-laws have done nothing and it will be a total sh*t show depending on who goes first. DH and I are both the oldest siblings and are considered the “responsible” ones in our families, so we shall see how this all goes.
After the first small health scare, I begged my parents to make a plan for what should happen when they could no longer live independently. They went away and discussed it, and came back and said “our plan is to be carried out of here feet first.” (“Here” being a one-bedroom condo with no room for a caregiver.)
Well, they executed that plan. Only problem was, when they were carried out feet first, they were still alive. And I had to scramble to find alternate arrangements while they were both in the hospital. And they never forgave me for putting them in assisted living, even though that was the only reasonable option.
All of which is to say, you are doing everything right and your kids will thank you. The important thing is to have a plan. I always tell people “If you refuse to make a plan, the plan you are making is for your kids to make the plan once you are no longer able to make it for yourself.”
This. Also, act like you don’t have kids to step in. As childfree people it is bonkers to me how many older people expect someone to materialize and handle their issues.
It’s not that they expect someone to materialize and handle their issues. It’s that they don’t believe they will ever have issues, or if they have them they don’t believe they need help.
SA, what is your plan? I’m younger than you but not by too much.
We live on a songle level home and hope to age in place, with help as needed. When that’s no longer practical we will sell and go somewhere with levels of care.
You have gotten great advice! Having an estate plan, letting people know who your lawyer is, where the critical documents are, and having lists of assets and insurance companies is incredibly helpful.
I will be honest I think the emphasis on “getting rid of your stuff” is a bit much. Obviously you do not want to be a hoarder or have so much stuff it is a hazard, but I cleaned out three different houses lived in for decades and would never have dreamed of suggesting my father or grandparents should have discarded things that brought them joy just to make my life easier. On top of that, the grandchildren were happy to go through old yearbooks and newspaper articles. And frankly, if you want anything from the house, you can clear it out. (And if you don’t then just walk away.)
Also, while most people will need “long term care”, most will NOT need residential care. There is a tendency to think that ending up in a nursing home is inevitable but statistically that is not true. It is most often at home assistance of various flavors. The important thing is living somewhere that is available if possible.
Be honest with yourself. If you think you will need financial support from your children, get a head of it. Figuring out how to supplement $500/month is a lot easier than surprise, we are out of money. Speaking from experience.
The easiest estate to deal with was a relative who had put together a bunch of bucket files for the documents relating to her home, car, and medical. With these core documents and a list of current doctors it was easier to figure out current debts and how to address the big ticket items. The rest can be harder to deal with, given all the online accounts, and you certainly don’t want to leave a list of account numbers lying around. But a list of the financial institutions holding assets, open credit cards and the insurers providing coverage would have been really helpful. Note any safe deposit boxes.
There are two things I wish we, and my mom, had realized. My mom moved into a 65+ senior living apartment complex in her 70s. Initially, it was great. The activities they offered appealed to her, there was a small bus that took them shopping or to lunch. The complex was in her home town, so a few friends were still around, and she was comfortable in the area. We didn’t understand that over time, she became one of the oldest residents there. Some of the newer residents were still working, and many were driving. The difference between someone who is 80 and someone that is 67 is big in terms of mobility and interests, and my mom was lonely.
We then moved her to assisted living in another state closer to family. She needs better skills in making loose friends or close acquaintances. The reality is if you want friends in assisted living, you need to be constantly making new friends because people die, move to a different care level, or move facilities. My mom is hyper critical of people, but I think if we and she had realized meeting people is a skill she needed and developed earlier, she’d be happier.
This seems like a reason to focus on intergenerational day programs. There’s a babies and seniors music class at our public library.
It must be so hard for older people to make new friends, only for them to pass as well. I agree that assisted living is 100% the route to go, but there needs to be more emphasis on intergenerational programming at facilities.
I’m surprised this hasn’t been mentioned. If there is any chance that you or DH would want to remarry, even if you cannot imagine that today, talk to your kids about it and tell your kids that you each have the blessing of the other to remarry. Relatedly, set up your estate plan to consider whether you want your kids to obtain some portion of your assets when the first of you dies so that a second spouse cannot drain all of the assets and your kids get nothing.
Don’t get rid of your things that you like and use. But get rid of the stuff you don’t like or don’t use or keep only because the kids may want it one day. If your kids are adults, then they can take their own childhood stuff now and do whatever they want with it. If you think they may want the china one day, ask them; if you use it now, then keep it, but if you don’t and they do want it, tell them it’s time to take it.
Make a list of who to call about certain items if you’d like for them to go to specific people or organizations. You said you have a hobby and your friend wants your stuff. Make sure there is a written record of that, and keep it with all of the other documents. Include the friend’s contact information. Same for any other things. It makes getting rid of the stuff so much easier.
Make sure someone other than you two knows where all the relevant documents are, including lists of log-ins and passwords to all of the accounts. Your executor needs to know where all of your bank accounts are. And it’s easier to have log in information to shut down all the random accounts like airlines, hotels, etsy, etc.
Write your obituaries. It’s a life exercise that I have done and was insightful. It’s also easier for your kids if they don’t have to write them when you die.
Find the funeral home that you think would work to dispose of your remains in whatever way you want that done. If you want a burial, buy a plot. If you want something else to happen to your remains, make a written record of your wishes so everyone knows and the kids don’t fight about it.
Cross post. Favorite family-friendly ski resorts that aren’t on I-70 in CO? Looking for options with ski in, ski out lodging and it doesn’t have to be fancy – older condos fine. Somewhere with a cute town for exploring on an off day would be nice too. Ideally it would be somewhere with very low crowds, but that’s a tough sell these days.
are you open to going east? We had a nice lowish-key time at Mt Tremblant – I wouldn’t call it “low” crowds but it wasn’t unpleasantly packed.
+1 on Mont Tremblant. US dollar is high against the Canadian at the moment so you also get great value.
I mean. She’s specifying roads in CO so doesn’t sound like jt
She said “not on I-70 in CO” – I interpreted that to mean anywhere that’s not on that main drag.
If you meant in CO, OP, we’ve enjoyed the Winter Park & Granby area that’s about 45 minutes off 70.
Thanks – open to it and have heard good things about everything about the snow 😅 I skied in New England for years but never made it to eastern Canada.
I’m hesitant to share, because it’s still somewhat off the beaten path, but Whitefish, MT.
Don’t worry, I don’t have social media and won’t share any recs with the masses! Thanks for the tip.
Whitefish has built up into Kalispell, and is crazy expensive (not to mention pretentious)
Off the beaten path but really good skiing is Showdown.
Showdown is where I learned to ski! You can also stay at their hotel the Edith, which is super cute. Or Great Falls is about an hour away (not fancy though!)
maybe Big Sky or Bridger? (if you are looking in Montana and want ski in/ski out).
Eeeeew to the Gallatin valley. It’s aggressively mediocre and every visit feels like a shakedown.
Great Falls as the other poster said, isn’t fancy, but is enjoying a bit of a Renaissance that’s locally driven. If you appreciate kitsch, a night at the O’Hara motor in and drinks at the SipNDip is not to be missed. They never replaced the 1960s shower heads, which makes for the best (non water saving) shower of your life.
White Sulfur Springs is also near Showdown and has good hot springs, and is a great walking-around town.
I would avoid the Gallatin valley (Bridger, Big Sky, Yellowstone Club) like the plague. Unless your MO is seeing and being seen dropping boatloads of cash, you can do way better elsewhere.
I’ve heard great things about Big Sky. Disappointed to hear if it’s gone south!
I guess it depends on what you’re into. A bunch of rich folks cosplaying Yellowstone isn’t my jam.
Crested Butte.
My favorite chill / family friendly ski area is Whitepass in Washington. My now 8 yr old learned to ski there, so very fond memories. Great snow, unbelievable views, varied terrain, and independently owned so still has that “quirky” vibe. Everything about it is easy and hassle-free. But it doesn’t meet your other criteria; not in a town (although plenty of nearby airbnbs and cabins) and no ski-in/ski-out lodging.
That sounds very cool, but will really need ski in/ski out for this trip for the flow we’re looking for with a baby!
Definitely doesn’t qualify as very low crowds, but Park City and Deer Valley are both good options.
Love Telluride and Purgatory. And Taos is amazing if it’s a good snow year in NM.
^^This^^^ Purgatory is our home mountain. Last year was a bum year, but the position in the San Juans makes it really high snow volume, so most years are great. The resort is cute. 25 min drive into town. Fly into Durango, which is a great town.
Kirkwood would work, but doesn’t have a cute town.
My shower door broke and I’ll need to get it replaced. What kind of trade profession should I be looking for to replace it? Bonus points if you have any recommendations for someone in DC
Glass company for sure.
There are shower door replacement companies which do exactly this. Also try glass replacement companies.
Generic handyman if you are getting a whole new door unit installed. Glass company if that’s the broken part.
Can anyone recommend a tax attorney in Maryland? Thanks!
Need more context – individual, corporate, what kind of taxes?
In DocuSign can you send a document to a list of authorized signatories so that someone can sign a document when only one signature is needed but you can’t predict who it will be? If so, how do you do this? Like Bob or Mandy can sign but only one needs to and IDK who is on block leave when.
Could you send to everyone and then void/cancel the remaining requests after someone does sign? I would think that the biggest issue would be that you need to attach the requests to multiple emails.
There is a Signing Group feature that does exactly this. You need a plan that supports the feature and a platform admin to set it up.
The discussion yesterday on neighborhoods made me second guess our schooling plans. We live in a wealthy suburb of NYC. We are by no means billionaires but we are avarage for the area (HHI around 1M per year). We were going to apply for private school for our kids next year to some of the Westchester county schools. Will our kids feel less than in those schools? I have no idea what to expect, but based on the discussion it sounded like there will be kids of billionaires… we are already dealing with our kids wanting things we think are frivolous in the public school of our wealthy town. But we value education and it seems like some of these schools have a college advantage (our oldest would begin in high school)
Don’t invent problems. You’re fine either way.
+1. Your kids will be fine at the Westchester private schools. You are rich too.
I don’t know anything about Westchester. But re: your last sentence, I wouldn’t equate a good education with a college admissions advantage. I would focus on finding the school that is the right academic and social fit for your kid and not worry about college.
Are you the one who posted on the mom’s page about kids expecting business class flights to Europe because all their friends do that? If so, yes, this will be more of an issue at a wealthy private school than a wealthy public school. Even if there aren’t literal billionaires.
Damn! All my years in BigLaw and I still fly coach.
I mean if I made a million dollars a year I would never fly coach. I’d probably never fly coach if I made $400k a year. But the issue was the kid expecting this (and a lot of other luxuries) because of their peers. It the parents choosing to do it. No judgment to wealthy adults spending their money how they choose.
*Not the parents choosing to do it
I maybe have big alpha oldest daughter energy, but it never bothers me to say no to my kids. My parents didn’t leave farms with outhouses to have grandkids who can’t fly coach.
$400k a year is not “business class to Europe” kind of money. If you do that even twice a year you’re edging into “multiple full percentage points of your earnings” territory.
Please let’s not pretend that you can’t afford first class if you’re making $400k. Come on.
400K a year with kids is IMO a family trip overseas is still very expensive. Like I’d fund college and fly coach because I’m not made of $ and for 3-4 people, non-coach is expensive. And the bigger planes that you get have better coach seats than a short domestic flight. I’d I have huge teen linebacker sons, maybe that is different but I don’t envision a lot of family trips abroad but I’d rather have more trips or a nicer hotel (or 2 rooms). But I’m not for kids whining about it. That’s a family value regardless of budget. Want business class? That’s what a job is for.
It definitely depends on your personal situation, but I (9:46 poster) live in a LCOL area and have a fully paid off house. We make $200k and have a ton of disposable income. We fly international business class occasionally, but not most of the time. However if our salaries doubled, we would definitely fly business class all the time and could do so easily without affecting any savings goals. YMMV but I didn’t say everyone making $400k should never fly coach; I said that’s what *I* would do and yes we could definitely afford it on that income.
I make $500k a year, single mom, and would never buy expensive seats for my kids. It’s robbing them of the joy and pleasure of earning that first business class trip for themselves. (I was 37! It was such a joy.) We are heading on an international trip for spring break. I am in premium economy and those 2 are in economy. No fs given.
We have HHI of around $500k last year in the DC area and I in no way feel flush enough to fly a family of 5 to Europe in business class. DH and I did spring for it on a cross-country flight for just the two of us, mostly because we were getting home literally late the night before the first day of school and wanted some rest and our wits about us, but otherwise I have only ever flown business class on actual business trips when my company pays!
We make a bit more than $1MM a year and I still don’t fly first class. Maybe it’s my child of immigrants mentality but I just don’t think it’s worth the outrageous cost compared to coach or economy plus.
Please take a moment to appreciate how ridiculous it is for kids of millionaires to feel “less than.”
Kim there are people that are dying.
Yeah, if I provided my son either of those opportunities and he had the gall to complain, the response he’d get in return would be to get over it.
Right?! Add some community service/volunteering to the schedule so kid can get some perspective on how incredibly lucky they are . . .
Not just millionaire, million dollar annual earner. Which is a VERY different wealth level than having $1M saved in retirement funds.
Yes, I feel like part of a good education is at least a little perspective. If a school isn’t providing that, maybe the education isn’t as good as its reputation!
+1
Connections are very important, and that’s part of the draw of these schools, but they do offer a very narrow view of what success looks like.
Seriously, this is absurd!
Seriously.
Yeah I don’t think anyone’s getting bullied because their parents only make a million dollars a year.
Omg stop whining about being rich. You’ll be fine and your rich kids will be fine you don’t actually have a problem.
Snort.
Agree.
My eyes might’ve popped out of my head. This is a level of wealth I cannot fathom. Your kids are gonna be just fine.
I think you need to know more about the culture in those schools and whether it aligns with your values. For example, we are the less-than family at our very wealthy preschool. (Tbh, we probably make the same as most families at our preschool, but many of the families come from families with money (business owners), whereas we do not.)
When I started realizing the level of wealth at our preschool, I started getting concerned that we were going to end up at some of these crazy birthday parties I keep hearing about… but everything is pretty modest tbh. There is generally an expectation that you get a cake from a specific baker, but other than that, most people do no gift playground parties, etc. In contrast, most of the “extra” birthday parties that we’ve been invited to are in a still well off, but less so, suburb where all the stay at home moms seems to spend their time trying to one-up each other all day.
I once went to a party with fire dancers telling the story of Prometheus. To 4 year olds… absolutely wild.
I would watch this reality tv show episode even if I never watched the rest of the show
This. There are wealthy people who conspicuously consume, and there are wealthy people who are happy to keep their modest house in Omaha (to use an extreme example). You can make an individual decision not to keep up with the Joneses, but if you find a community of people who have the same mentality, it’s a lot more comfortable.
Your kids will be fine. I didn’t chime in yesterday because I was too busy, but I attended a fancy private school as the child of UMC parents. It was actually a really good experience – I moved to the private school in middle school after attending a good public school but being kind of bored there as a good student. The private school was more challenging academically, and I was still a good student but I was more challenged, stood out less, and had more interesting options for AP classes, extracurriculars, etc. There were some really rich kids there, similar to what was described yesterday, and I wasn’t friends with the super flashy kids, but I found my people and had an active social life. I did start caring about what I wore and stuff, but I think that was also a function of age (I was there from 13-18). I wasn’t buying designer clothing every day but I developed an awareness of brands, and my mom taught me how to shop second hand for nice stuff. I know there are some kids who have a bad experience in these contexts, and there were plenty of drugs in the fancy school (the old cliche that public school kids smoke p*t and rich kids do co*aine was pretty true, but it was a limited subset and I never did any of that, neither did my friends). The school opened up a lot of doors for me and I’m still friends with a lot of my high school friends.
“We are by no means billionaires” is sending me. It really shouldn’t be that hard to educate your kid on the differences between being a multimillionaire (you) and a billionaire. There are lots of cute little videos on insta using grains of rice to illustrate the difference! This is wild to me. I remember being in elementary school and asking my parents why we couldn’t live in such and such nicer house or renovate the kitchen (I liked interior design) or why I couldn’t have a horse and they said, flatly, “we do not make enough money to afford that and we live within our means. Study hard, go to a good college, get a good job and work hard and you can buy your own [whatever].”
The right wing takes full advantage if Americans’ innumeracy when pushing policy through that only benefits the super wealthy. Most folks have no idea how exponents work, and the relative difference between 1000, 1000000 and 1000000000.
Even as an intelligent, educated person it’s difficult to conceive how big a billion dollars is. The grain of rice video showing average people vs rich people vs Elon is mind blowing
I went to an excellent and excellent and expensive private school on a full ride.
My mom is a Catholic school teacher and my dad has a blue collar job. I grew up 45 mins from my school in a 3 bed / 1.5 bath cape cod while my classmates lived in mansions.
It was occasionally awkward but mostly totally fine to be one of the “poorer” students. My family was also better off than many in my hometown. We called it “poor in the winter, rich in the summer”.
My parents are super focused on education and the school my brother and I went to was truly excellent. The education has served me well in life and I’m glad they made that choice.
One thing I’ve noticed is that I went into a helping profession (as both of my parents did) and very few people from my high school did that (some are MDs or NPs, but more went into law, finance, etc)
some lawyers are helpers
Some are indeed, but not many. Most here work for big law or in house at mega corporations.
NGO and government lawyers do a tremendous amount of good though.
Yeah, I’m the anon at 9:59. My friends from high school are all Big Law.
I 100% agree that there are lots of lawyers doing good, but unfortunately they’re the minority
The results of that thread in no way match my in-real-life classmates’ choices from law school on how to educate their kids. I wouldn’t base any decisions off of it
Sorry, but you’re rich. If you don’t want to live with the consequences then move out of the fancy location and get normal people jobs.
Green Acres! It’s the place to be!
It’s so early for a bucket of popcorn, but this is a great thread and is everything about why people like and don’t like this comment forum
You can’t have your cake and eat it too. If you want to be rich and hobnob with rich people, then your kids are going to absorb rich people values. If you want them to have middle-class values, you need to move somewhere middle-class, live a middle-class lifestyle, let your kids have middle-class peers, and hide your income from your kids and everyone else.
By the way, your values have already been corrupted too even though you protest that they haven’t. It’s obvious in all of your posts, and you couldn’t have gotten to where you are without its happening.
In highschool my brother was the school’s lacrosse star, we were ‘poor’, but he was one of if not the most popular guy in his grade. He was outgoing, invited to all the parties, and his friends paid for him to do all the things.
I was not cool so socially school was very hard for me, but my excellent education set me up to go to a great university and get a good job so I don’t regret it.
First up, good for you and your husband. I’m all for everyone making money. On your question, so much of the school experience your kids have is actually going to depend on their personalities. Are they likeable? Socially skilled? If not, I’d spend more time there helping them learn to make friends. Money doesn’t matter if your kid is “cool” and popular (any amount).
“ Money doesn’t matter if your kid is “cool” and popular (any amount).”
This is just not true. I get why people saying OP has enough, and that may be true. It’s plausible to me that kids can’t tell the difference between $1M and $10M families, or that there aren’t enough families earning $10M for it to matter. But the difference between $100k and $1M certainly is noticeable and it’s basically impossible to be “cool” at a school where you don’t have the “right” clothes, cars, vacations etc. that 90% of your classmates havre.
Not at all my experience. I grew up going to school with billionaire kids, millionaire kids and scholarship kids whose parents cleaned houses all in the same school. The socially adept were cool regardless of their family finances. And that included a number of scholarship kids.
Agreed. Cool is a state of being, not a bank balance.
I posted above about my good experience in a fancy school. I was by no means “cool” but I also wasn’t “uncool” or bullied. I was a bit quiet but I had a good group a friends, was invited to parties, later had a boyfriend. And more importantly I learned so much and was pushed to excel. My goal was never to be the coolest kid around. But I also agree that it doesn’t directly correlate with money, but if you really want to be part of a specific “cool crowd” it’s going to be harder without the right clothes, the ability to pay for certain outings, etc.
my kids are in two different westchester private schools. neither of them have found that the kids are as shockingly wealthy as the kids we knew from the city who are in private school. if you live in an scarsdale/ rye you will find the kids at hackley or RCD to be comparable, the famous private driver kind of rich you see at HM or fieldston doens’t seem to be a westchester thing.
So curious why anyone would pay fancy Westchester taxes and then also for private school. The public schools are already top of the rankings.
“We are by no means billionaires but we are avarage for the area (HHI around 1M per year).”
The median income in Westchester County is $114k a year, and the mean is about twice that.
The highest mean (not even median) household income in America is $325k, give or take.
Literally nowhere in America is $1M HHI the average.
She’s not counting the “little people” who wait on the high earners in her calculations.
Maybe they just mean their street
book rec I got from this site: “The Opposite of Spoiled.” Someone will always have more, or look/act like they do. Get them set up with an allowance and they can waste their own money and learn from it. realize now that the joy of the shiny new thing fades quickly.
I posted about this long enough ago that people probably do not remember but I (eventually) pulled my kids out of of public schools for private school funded by my in-laws because my daughter was miserable. We went from a school with regular fights and no apparent discipline to one where we were the “poor” family (although not the only one!). My son is the kind of confident, outgoing, athletic kid who is going to be popular anywhere he goes and that remained true. He has no hesitation in telling his friends that we cannot afford something and does it without embarrassment or apology. My daughter has thrived. We did discuss in advance the reality of income differential and I made it really clear that I did not want to see any entitled behavior or they would find themselves back in public school.
The only awkwardness has been when her friend’s mother was inviting her to their summer house for a week and was trying to say as nicely as possible that they would pay for anything that came up (and I had to borrow a page from my son’s book about not apologizing for being merely objectively rich and not mega-rich). I have found it helpful to own it and keep perspective for both yourself and your children. We are incredibly fortunate by any metric and have to keep that in mind.
Thank you; I’m so glad this worked out well for your family. I may remember the difficulty with the discipline issues and a post about the decisions involved.
I went to one of the private schools in the Westchester / Fairfield area, and read yesterday’s thread with interest. Objectively, my family was well off, but subjectively, I never felt that way. My school had some billionaire and celebrity families, although I think many were more similar to my family’s income level. My sibling and I definitely had “keeping up with the Joneses” anxiety, but at the same time, we got great educations and built strong friendships. My parents have never been particularly flashy and pride themselves on frugality, but we managed to reach a happy medium. Overall, it was a great school, and I would absolutely send my children to the same school one day.
I would like this dress except that it is cut so far out on the shoulders. For 99.9 percent of women, a shoulder opening that angles slightly inward towards the top is more flattering.
How so? If you’re insecure about your arms, giving a tank top cut would just increase the amount of flesh visible.
Not a full-on tank top cut, just not chopping off the shoulder in the middle of the widest part. Angling the cut slightly inward shows the whole shoulder muscle.
I was ready to argue but looked at the product photos in the other colors first. Now I agree with you, especially seeing how the emerald version looks on the model. It’s not quite a cap sleeve, but too wide to be a normal sleeveless look. It’s like give me sleeveless, but leave room for shoulder pads.
To each their own. I find this cut more flattering on my shape.
Not having to think about whether or not my bra strap is showing is a big part of why many working women prefer cap sleeves or much wider straps. If I was that insecure about showing my arms at work I just would wear a sweater or jacket over this.
I dislike the necklines on lost MMLF dresses. They have a lot of tight, high crew necks, as well as some v-necks that never quite look right on me.
Those necklines do look good on me (long neck, flat chest, sloped shoulders)! I try to channel Business Emma Watson…
I have much more square shoulders, a long neck, a square-ish jaw, and a nice chest. Think, something like Angelina Jolie (although not quite as busty as she is).
If you search for photos of her in crew necks, you can see my loathing. She’s gorgeous and even she doesn’t always look great in them:
https://www.hoprom.com/products/red-angelina-jolie-long-sleeve-dress-round-neck-prom-celebrity-evening-red-carpet-dress-tonight-premiere
That is probably because people who wear clothing at the formality level of MM La Fleur do not want to be flashing anything close to cleavage at work.
I don’t personally wear many crewnecks, because as a busty person they make me look blocky, but it’s hard for me not to have at least some hint of cleavage in your standard scoop or v neck. I don’t like to dress that way at work, but now that I work from home, it’s a lot easier.
Completely disagree.
Sun’s out guns out!!
And I totally disagree with your take! I like this look.
Help please! I’m going to a family member’s bridal shower on Sunday and apparently the bride doesn’t have a registry. It’s short notice and I don’t know what to gift her. I know the wedding is space/galaxy themed and that’s about all I know about her tastes.
doesn’t really matter. buy something at the price point you want to spend from a store where they can return and bring a gift receipt– throw blanket, coffee maker, salad bowl with tongs…..
A used napkin with Leonard Nemoy’s DNA? Sorry, Big Bang Theory joke.
I’d give a set of kitchen towels with a nice kitchen soap. Useful almost no matter the circumstances.
who has a shower without a registry?? Maybe a simple silver frame for a picture. Go somewhere with lots of locations for easy returns. Pottery Barn for sure carries this kind of stuff.
i have never heard of a space/galaxy themed wedding. that is a bit unusual.
A rocket cocktail shaker from Nordstrom; bring a gift receipt so she can buy something else if she hates it:
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/irving-rocket-cocktail-shaker-in-stainless-steel/8155369?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=040
This is going to be my go to shower gift for all of my son’s nerdy friends. Most are rocket and defense engineers.
I used to be a rocket engineer before going into law. :)
My standard gift to people even with a registry was always champagne flutes with a note to toast all of their future life moments together.
Bring a favorite of yours – a fave kitchen tool, cookbook, whatever (w/ gift receipt).
A water pitcher from Crate & Barrel is a nice shower gift.
Aren’t there websites where you can name or buy a star or something?
Other than that, I agree with the idea of dish towels (space themed?), expensive soap, or something similar.
If the couple is building their household, a big bucket, broom set or flashlight has always been my go to gifts. Not pretty, but practical, everybody needs those things, and they can be quite expensive in decent quality.
Rocket popsicle molds!
This is my annual plug to make sure you have life insurance. Every year I have a slightly different sad reason for the plug, and this year it’s because a friend of mine died of cancer at 40. She was diagnosed 3 years ago and didn’t have good life insurance because she never got it in her 20s and had a random stroke at 33. So after age 33 she was not really insurable. Then she got cancer at 37. She was the primary breadwinner. Hug your loved ones and get life insurance. Today.
Second this. I was sure I wasn’t going to qualify for life insurance because of a chronic condition I have, but surprise surprise, it was a non-issue because it’s well-controlled. It was one of those “do the thing” situations where it did take a little time and hassle to get it all taken care, but it wasn’t THAT bad and it’s so nice to know we’re protected now for 20 years. My best friend is the breadwinner and wouldn’t get life insurance because she didn’t want to report her weight or get dinged for being obese, which I understand, but it seems like a small price to pay when her husband has very poor earning potential and no motivation to seek out anything better. If she wasn’t due for a decent inheritance when her father dies (which probably won’t be for 20-30 years since his parents lived to almost 100), I’d be really worried for her.
first of all i am very sorry for your loss and for your friend’s family. idk if your friend was already a parent at 33, but most people don’t think about life insurance until they are planning on expanding their family. i’m not sure if i know of anyone who got good life insurance in their 20s when they were single or newlyweds
Me. I work with a lot of T2 diabetics who can’t get insurance (or at least affordable to them insurance).
OP here, and yes, she was a parent- she had kids in her late 20s and early 30s. She put it off because…life…and then had a stroke! After that she was uninsurable and they wanted 5 years of clean health, but then she got cancer. Life’s a b*tch sometimes.
I bought life insurance four years ago after a similar PSA on this site. It isn’t an amazing plan (it’s about $500k), but I live in an LCOL area and my child’s father (my ex husband) is a professor with a steady income and his own life insurance.
Agree. As an actuary I’d advise everyone go get term insurance and not whole or universal life, which are often marketed as investment vehicles, but the expense loads are extraordinarily high.
My husband and I got term life insurance when we were planning to start TTC. Turns out we’re infertile, but on the bright side, we locked in some cheap life insurance?
What dog toy does my chaos monster need? He’s new to us, and so far his favorite activity is rifling through the recycling bin and dragging out plastics one by one all over the house, chomping on them for a minute, then going back and getting another. I’ve had ball dogs and I’ve had benebone dogs, but I don’t know what this guy needs. He’s not interested in plush animals with squeakers.
What about a bin full of dog-safe frisbees? You could try different materials–rubbery, plasticky, fabric.
Our large boxer loved giggle balls. They’re hard cased, so they stand up to more rough housing activity, but you need to be careful when they’re playing with them in the house since they can cause some damage if tossed too hard in the wrong direction. He’d immediately destroy any soft toys, but the giggle balls were much more durable.
Try rope toys and not plush but harder squeaker toys (you can find them at PetSmart).
They make bones that crack and crinkle like plastic water bottles! I have a benebone dog so that would have been what I reccomended.
We used to buy basketballs for one of our dogs – he wasn’t interested in balls per se, but he would settle in with a basketball and work on gnawing it in two. He never chewed it into small pieces, or tried to eat it – it was just a gnawing habit for him.
I have one Benebone/giggle ball dog, and one plastic chewer.
The latter dog’s current favorite toy is a plastic jug that was in the recycling. We just give him a new one when the old one starts to break down. He also loves to chew on the rim of a metal bowl but we had to take it away because we worried about his teeth. That dog has almost never liked anything marketed as a dog toy. The only exception has been the kind of toy where you hide kibble or peanut butter and then they have to work on the toy to get to the treat. Bit he does lose interest as soon as the treat is unearthed.
Here’s a treat toy my plastic chewer will remain interested in for longer than average.
https://www.chewy.com/planet-dog-orbee-tuff-snoop-treat/dp/103060?
My dog is similar. I found this for him and he loves it:
https://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/product/muttnation-fueled-by-miranda-lambert-fish-bowl-jumbler-dog-toy-2516574
He gnaws it for hours and it has withstood it well.
maybe Nylabone