Coffee Break: Islington Bucket Bag
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Ooh: I've been eyeing this bucket bag from Mulberry for a while, and I love this exclusive color.
It feels like a modern take on a crossbody, and I think it looks chic carried in the crook of your arm also. The bag isn't huge — not quite 9″w x 9″h, but 5″ deep. As always, I love the Mulberry details like the Postman's Lock, the wraparound belt, the gorgeous grained leather, and more.
This color is exclusive to Nordstrom (and strikes me as a really versatile color!), but the bag also comes in a zillion other colors at Nordstrom, Mulberry, Farfetch, and others. The bag is $1295.
A few notes: first, love the peplum blazer she's wearing in the product photos — it feels like peplum is definitely coming back. Second, Nordstrom has begun its summer sale, with tons of new markdowns — I'll try to take a peek and see if anything is worth noting. Finally: this stunning $2000 Jimmy Choo bag caught my eye, but I need to make a second old-timey movie reference of the day: it isn't even leather (NSFW link because Melanie Griffith is in her underwear in the scene!).
(Looking for something more affordable? This Everlane bag is cute — and on sale.)
Sales of note for 8/28/25 (I'm bolding the ones I'm checking out first):
- Nordstrom – Summer sale has started!
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your full price purchase, $99 dresses, jackets and shoes, and 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off everything
- Dermstore – Anniversary Edit of 16 Favorites, $629 value for $150 (also, NB you can make FSA purchases there!)
- Eloquii – 100s of styles starting at $25
- J.Crew – Up to 40% off 100s of styles (readers love this blazer, these pants, these sneakers, this suiting, and their sweater blazers and winter coats in general. Also note that they've expanded their size range up to 3X/24! See our full roundup of what to buy for work at J.Crew.)
- J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything and extra 60% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Save up to 70% Labor Day Weekend – Take an additional 20% off already-discounted items
- Neiman Marcus – Extra 15% off beauty including options from DIOR, Nars, Chantecaille, Victoria Beckham, SK-II, and La Mer
- Rothy's – Ooh: limited edition T-strap flats / Mary Janes
- Spanx – End of summer sale, extra 30% off sale styles with code – reader favorites include these pants in regular, petite, and tall sizes all up to 3X (the very rare option for a plus-size petite!); Nordstrom also has a big collection!)
- Talbots – 70% off markdowns final sale
- Tuckernuck – Sample sale, prices up to 70% off! (Including lots of this bestselling work dress marked to under $75)
Cute bag!
I finally put my finger on an issue with a friend that’s bugged me for years – there’s a strong pattern of (and I hate this phrase, but everyone understands it so I’m going to use it) of “yucking someone else’s yum.” Whether it’s her husband working on a project he loves that she thinks is stupid or randomly insulting someone’s preferences, there’s always some subtle negative comment or contempt that sometimes flies beneath the radar but is there nonetheless, even about really pointless things. I remember one time I sent a pretty picture of the two of us as bridemaids at a third friend’s wedding, saying something like “I love this, we look happy” and she came back with “ugh we look wide.” It’s ALWAYS something like that or at the very least, a super tepid response to anything positive anyone shares, which ends up having a downer effect.
I don’t have much of a point with this post other than to share my satisfaction that I finally put my finger on this. I may not know why she does it but I think I’ll get more out of the friendship (and be a better friend in return if I’m not feeling low-key insulted constantly) now that I know not to share news that I’ll be upset to get some random dig on.
I learned the hard way to remove people like this from my life. They want everyone else to be as miserable as they are, and I don’t want to live like that.
Interesting. These people don’t bother me–they’re sort of like the character Eeyore, just a type that exists in the world. I don’t need everyone around me to be sunshine and roses. They all have something of value to offer a friendship.
Eeyore was tough on himself, rather than being rough on other people. Interesting that you don’t understand such an obvious difference.
Yes, exactly. Due to a certain a family dynamic, I am surrounded by these people and it’s soul crushing. I grew up in a household of cheerleaders so it was absolutely perplexing to me and I found it really hard. I slowly figured it out and saw a TikTok reel on Instagram on how the behaviour gets passed down as a trauma response along the lines of it being a tactic to protect oneself from disappointment because if everything sucks, all the time, then your expectations of life are in the basement and you can’t be let down. I have a dear friend who does it with her sisters. Misery does love company. It’s so clear to me now. I just put as much distance as possible.
OP here and unfortunately I’ve had to overcome that a bit in myself – but maybe I’ve grown if I can now recognize the pattern and distance myself from it in others. I have to protect myself because it doesn’t come as easy for me; I HAVE to work at it.
I would have been pulling away after the “we look wide” comment. It’s not ok to negatively comment on other people’s bodies. She sounds like an a-hole, not just a debbie downer.
I always just brushed it off as her own body insecurities (which I empathize with) or “everyone’s allowed to have an opinion” but it only hit me recently how often her negative opinions are about things someone else just said they liked.
I mean, you can criticize your own weight without insulting other people. I agree with you that it’s ultimately coming from a place of insecurity, but it’s still a big distinction to me.
There are people who find the negative in anything. If they won the lottery they’d complain they had to pay taxes on it.
I avoid these people once they tell me who they are.
Bingo.
I tend to be a positive person and struggle with how to respond to negative comments like this, especially when they are part of a “live” discussion – i.e. not on text. Does anyone have a go-to response in the moment these comments happen?
Don’t feed it. I find these people enjoy me countering with a positive spin on the situation just so they can shoot it down again.
Just skip over it and move on. And spend less time with them.
Maybe say “Whoa! Way to pop my bubble!”
or “Ouch!”.
Perhaps if they realize they are putting someone else down they will be more careful.
This is what I do!
My family is a little bit like this. Whenever I am excited about something, they deflate it. I am successful and have good judgement, so it’s not a matter of me making bad decisions. They can’t help it. The latest is my son playing football. I didn’t encourage it, but he’s inhigh school and wants to play. He’s a starter and doing so well. Every time I bring it up, they talk about what a bad idea it is. It’s so annoying.
Allowing your child to play football is a poor decision.
My husband is kind of like this – natural response to most things is negative or oppositional. It’s a deeply ingrained trait in him, which I presume he learned from his father, who is even worse. I will never forget the time 15 years ago when his dad complained to me about having to buy wine for everyone at BIL’s (so his son’s) wedding rehearsal dinner because he doesn’t drink, as I was standing there with a glass of wine in my hand. Both my husband and his father are wonderful people besides this pull to be the misanthrope whenever possible. Husband and I both try hard to meet in the middle, and I have learned not to ask him, “Are you excited for ___?” because the answer is no. I just tell him how excited I am.
I have to deal with a LOT of people like that in my life. With my spouse, I do call him on it when I feel like I have the strength, but it’s so deeply ingrained in his psyche that I mostly just ignore it (also he’s learned over the years to stop saying everything that runs through his anxious little head). With work people, I mostly ignore and/or avoid. With friends, I gently push back.
I’ve always been a bit of an oddball, so at least I’m used to, “OMG, you did WHAT? with your spare time??!!!” (going to a museum, seeing an arthouse movie). If everyone liked the same things as me, I wouldn’t get so much space to enjoy them!
How do you go about finding an executive coach – especially if you are paying out of pocket? Any recommendations for coaches for corporate strategy or finance roles? I’ve been stuck as an IC for some time now, and I’d like to move into management.
Has anyone’s parent received a positive result on the new Alzheimer’s test?
I didn’t know my mother’s doctor had ordered the test, and she came back positive for one marker, p-tau181, so I’m sitting here a little at a loss. She’s a fully functional adult, just a bit spacey, but spacey has described her for years. I talked to her doc and I’ve tried to read the medical literature, and I remain unclear on a couple key things:
– if the marker is present, is developing Alzheimer’s guaranteed?
– Does the score get higher when the disease gets worse, so an early low score that stays steady is maybe NBD?
– what about the other marker (beta-amyloid 42/40), which she doesn’t have?
Did you put your parent on the Alzheimer’s slowing medication? Would you recommend it?
Any thoughts here are welcome as I reckon with this. Thanks.
Please talk to her doctor.
If she’s still functional, the decision is hers, not yours. There’s no “putting her on” medicine, it’s her deciding whether or not to take medicine.
There is some evidence that tau-positive and beta-amyloid negative should really be considered a negative result: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamaneurology/fullarticle/2807607 but it seems uncertain; this is very much an emerging field. Agree you/her really need to talk to her doctor and possibly get a second opinion.
If she’s still functional and reasonable instead of taking to her doctor, first talk to her. If possible, make a game plan for what she wants aging to look like and how you will be involved. You or a sibling will probably eventually need to get looped in on medical stuff like that eventually, but figure out together when that should be. You can’t have that conversation with some people ever, but no point stepping in if she doesn’t want you to and you don’t really need to.
Why was the test done?
By what sort of doctor?
Had she already had detailed neurology, neuropsych assessment and brain imaging?
These tests should only be done for people already exhibiting signs concerning for progressive dementia, as they are not perfect and in their infancy. I would make sure she is seen at the best academic hospital Neurology Department by a Memory Disorders specialist (dementia/Alzheimer’s etc…). If she is doing well at the moment, it is kind of bizarre this test was done, and I would feel no urgency to react on it until you speak with an expert.
You can get it if you’re very insistent. My mom is perfectly healthy and only 72 and she convinced her doctor to give her the test because her mom died of Alzheimer’s (symptoms began around 85, so not particularly young) and my mom is *extremely* paranoid about developing dementia and wants to know the minute she has it so she can off herself rather than being a burden on her loved ones. I too thought the tests were only for symptomatic people and was kind of surprised her doctor agreed to do it, but I guess you can get pretty much any test you’re wiling to pay for.
I’m so sorry you are going through this situation. My suggestion would be to try and find another doctor to consult, especially if she’s amenable to having you involved in it. My in-laws basically doctor-shop/switch practices every time someone doubts their mental acuity or suggests a neurologist. They also won’t let their middle-aged sons come with them for anything medical.
Tips on how to find and evaluate an executive coach – especially if you are paying out of pocket?
Do you have a local or regional leadership program for professionals/executive leaders? They might have folks they recommend.
Listen to Breaking Free from the Grind podcast. She’s a coach. Interview several and interview their clients (references)
What corporate speak drives you nuts?
Personally I hate ‘Its come to my attention’ like sir, just admit you made a mistake and someone corrected you. Apologize, don’t deflect.
“I want to pick your brain.” Makes my skin crawl.
ha, really? I don’t think of this as corporate speak at all because my parents said it a lot growing up.
As a consultant, to me this phrase means “I want some of your consulting services for free.” 99% of the time the person asking is never going to become a paying client.
Circle back. Close loops.
I don’t mind that one. But “circle back,” “piggy back” and etc. to say the same thing someone just said drives me nuts.
I think people use that to not disclose a tattle-tale in the workplace. “It has come to my attention that people are taking snacks from the kitchen home for personal use.”
I don’t know that it’s necessarily corporate speak, but any request that starts with the word kindly.
“Kindly following up”
“Kindly requesting ETA”
Kindly go f yourself.
I hate kindly. Almost as much as I hate gently. JUST SAY WHAT YOU WANT.
I think this usually comes from people who don’t speak American English as their native language, and seems especially common in India . “Kindly do the needful” is something the people I work with in India say all the time.
I just saw “gently” in an email from Malaysia. I think it was a genuine attempt to soften a “scary” email.
Yes. I grew up in India and this was taught in english schools as formal letter writing grammar. I’m curious if it has an archaic British origin.
“Double click” on that point
“Full calorie deals”
WHY.
*Shudder* I’ve never heard of any of these.
Wait, what is a full calorie deal??
Oh god, that one is new to me but my finance bro colleague is definitely going to work it into conversation within days if it’s truly in circulation.
It’s meant to designate deal over a particular dollar size, but that’s why it drives me nuts — it’s so unspecific! Just say, “greater than $10M” deals or “greater than $50M deals”. This week, I was also introduced to “empty calorie” deals which apparently mean renewals as opposed to net new clients.
Someone mistakenly used the term “double tap” rather than “double click” recently which was kind of hilarious — corporate speak gone very wrong. How about, “let’s discuss that in more detail”. DONE.
Oh god those are awful, how do you keep a straight face in your meetings??
Circle back is my biggest pet peeve
I used to hate “out of pocket” which was usually used by midlevel douchebags trying to impress everyone with how busy they are.
And now means something totally different! At least to Gen Z and younger.
I should ask my Gen Z daughter! I’m Gen X.
Actually, there’s not much corporate speak that bothers me but I HATE how professional therapy-speak has infiltrated parenting. There’s no “tantrums,” but “dysregulation.” There’s no “hitting,” but “not being safe in our bodies.” Literally just use normal words please!
omg thank you. I kept getting emails last year that my son became dysregulated and is now in trouble in class. Well, how do you expect me to speak with him about it, if you don’t tell me exactly what he did?!?! I kept emailing back – can you tell me what happened?
Same same
OMG, yes. Right there with you.
“Open the kimono”
It’s gross. And usually used by white middle aged men.
A funny one: the UK law firm partner who got offended when his U.S. counterpart used the term “no brainer.” He thought the U.S. lawyer accused him of being dumb, i.e. not having a brain. He threw a little tantrum over it.
Thst is totally gross and I’ve heard it before too.
I had an female Asian colleague who used that phrase so, so often. It was really uncomfortable and she did not grasp how horrifying it was to have her include hands motions to emphasize the point.
The gross old white men in my org use this too and it’s awful.
I have said out loud at work, ‘I don’t do naked’ when asked to open the kimono. It’s just not appropriate. I’ll explain and answer questions but I’m not opening my dressing gown for anyone. It’s just a gross saying and needs to not be used.
You are the hero we need
“Resource adjustment action” was a new one I heard recently. Layoffs dude, you’re doing layoffs.
Alignment
Socialize
This one has recently popped up in my company. We need to “socialize” the document, or idea? Is it a puppy?
uggghh my last job used “socialize” all the time, and it was almost justified I think? Because what they meant was “we have absolutely no idea who is in charge of this decision, who is working on this project or what comes next” so no actual specific verb could be subbed in
All the adversarial language! “lock down a deal”, “crush the quota”, “killing it lately!”
Also, this one isn’t quite as corporate cliche (though I first encountered it in my large tech company), but spelling “folx” with an x instead of a ks. This word is already inclusive of all genders with the standard spelling! You don’t need to replace the last two letters with an x to show that you mean people of all identities and genders. We don’t spell it everyxne, all peopx, the grxup, so why do we need to spell folks with an x?
Please don’t give them ideas.
Sports analogies. I do not want to rush the puck.
I hate saying ‘let’s take this offline’ when you’re just going to have a side conversation that still happens on zoom.
Leverage
Directionally
“Run that trap” (??????)
This made me laugh. What in the world does that last one mean? Glad my org isn’t the only one making up nonsense.
I’m not sure?? The way it’s used, it appears to mean “look into an issue,” “gather facts or data,” or potentially “carry out a plan” that is one step in larger strategic effort after which one would report back to the group.
What I can’t figure out is where it came from, but it bubbled up into my C-Suite and GC’s vocabularies all the sudden. I had to stop myself from laughing when they first started saying it over and over again in a meeting.
I would imagine it comes from running a trap line, which would be setting, maintaing, and checking traps.
I hate “cheers.” I think because I’m at work and I would like to be clinking a glass of champagne and now I’m reminded that I’m not because you want to sound…British? Why? I don’t work in an international practice.
I’m guilty of “kindly.” I just like it. I’m kind. It would be kind if you would forward that document. I’ve said please and thank you already so this is my last attempt to soften it.
Today a new attorney told everyone to have “blessed” Labor Day weekend and I found that aggressively inappropriate. I’ve worked with many older ladies from Brooklyn who wear hats to church and will say “ have a blessed day” outside of the office but not at work. This guy is off.
Tbf, Canadians love the ‘cheers’ sign-off too, not just Brits.
Ahhh. Good to know. I still hate it if we’re not toasting.
Yes! I hate hate the constant weaving in of blessed. If I want religious talk, then we can meet at church. It’s not for the workplace.
I know this is also probably a controversial take: I work for a company that is almost entirely remote, and several coworkers have very large crosses on the walls behind their desks. I know they are in their own home. But it feels so “othering” to me (and I grew up Catholic). In a work environment, I don’t want to prominently see political posters, religious symbols, or anything else that ties to a belief system that inherently excludes others. Maybe an atheist or gay person doesn’t want to listen to your webinar when there’s an in-your-face reminder every moment that you strongly are against how they are living their life.
I hate “please advise.” I’m in-house counsel. In private practice, “please advise” typically meant “f you.”
Now, it means “I can’t figure this out and/or have made no attempt to figure this out, I’ve made no attempt to even formulate a question, figure out what this is and what’s happening and tell me what to do.”
Occasionally, it’s just a rude sounding way to conclude a question, but I usually see it where people just want me to do all the work for them.
Low stress question for today: what are your favorite beef jerky-type products? We like the steak bites from Costco and I’m ok with Archer and Chomps.
Canadian options that are full of additives or sugar are very limited so I was driving across the border until recently to get Chomps. Very happy with them. Life saving office emergency ration.
*aren’t
MMM hormones and unregulated meat
I get beef and turkey jerky from Trader Joe’s, in different flavors.
This is the opposite of low stress to me – jerky and processed meats are about as carcinogenic as you can get. I get wanting more protein. But what a stupid way to get it.
Love real carne seca from New Mexico, especially the red or green chile versions. Like this: https://oldsantafetrailbeefjerky.com/collections/flavors
I like all sorts of traditionally cured meats and ham, from reindeer hearts to cured horsemeat, mutton or Spanish jamon.
May ask tomorrow, too, but for women who have done a slow and steady job weight loss, how did you manage buying clothes? I’m losing about 6 pounds a month and have been for months (postpartum). Probably still could lose another 50. (Back to back pregnancies, do not recommend!) I don’t want to spend a ton of money or time shopping while the trending is continuing downwards, but I also don’t want to be drowning in too big of sizes! Any thoughts welcome.
Depends on how dressy you have to get for work. Old Navy consistently delivered for me when I was losing weight last year with pants that were decent enough for my life. I have every color of the 100% cotton cargo pants with an elastic back because I love cargo pockets and they are great casual pants, but I WFH. Ditto their linen pants for summer. My city also has a very good second hand consignment shop. J Crew Factory was also useful, especially on sale. My advice is to only go shopping when you think you are looking sloppy or uncomfortable in your clothes, set a price limit and have your lineup of the places where you can usually find success and stick to those. But if you have a special occasion, don’t be afraid to get something nice that fits right now, because a special occasion is a special occasion!
I agree that Old Navy has been really helpful as I’ve been losing weight, especially their pants. I like the Taylor trousers. Some of their pants have the hidden elastic and button adjustment inside the waist band, like kids’ pants, which has actually been really helpful! I do think dresses and shirts are more forgiving, to a point.
I bought new pants but cheap ones as needed when my old ones were sliding down.
I kept my tops because I thought the oversized look was fine. Then I saw some pictures of myself and decided they did not look fine. I went shopping in person for new tops but managed to hit some sales.
I lost about 50 pounds over two years.
I have had to lose about 25 lbs after each kid, so over about 6 months to a year. My experience losing weight postpartum is that certain areas of my body would change shape at different times, so it was hard to predict what would fit and when. I’ve tried just buy what I need when I need it and to keep my wardrobe small. I will also just buy the smaller size in pants I already know and like so that I’m not having to recreate new outfits, etc. all the time.
Similar to the poster above– I think tops are more forgiving than pants, but only to a point. I have had to replace new tops/blazers more than pants because my shoulders and rib cage expand significantly with kids and then shrink again.
I sell clothes that no longer fit on Poshmark or return them if not worn and within the return window. You may also have luck renting clothes.
When possible, buy things that come in alphabetical sizes and not numeric sizes. There’s a decent amount of flex between, eg, the high weight that fits into a size large and the low weight that fits into a large; there’s a a lot less room between a size 14 and a size 12, or a size 32 and a size 31 pants.
Of course, secondhand is your friend. If a piece of clothing is two or three years old already, you won’t care if you only wear it this autumn and it doesn’t fit next autumn.
Dresses, and a couple pants that fit at each stage. Go with staples that can be worn relatively frequently without anyone noticing (e.g., black or gray slacks, a pair of jeans with some stretch).
I lost 75 lbs over the past year and went from an 18 to a 6. For casual clothes, I followed my local “buy nothing” group and would take anything my then-size–I wasn’t picky! I donated those clothes back to the “buy nothing” group when they got too big. For work clothes, I wear suits 1-2x per week and business casual the rest of the time. I could usually have my “nice” clothes taken in twice before my tailor said “enough.” When I couldn’t tailor them down anymore, I tried to find exact replacements in smaller sizes on Poshmark or other resale sites (then would have those tailored when they got too big). I also followed sales and bought the bare minimum to get by. This meant that sometimes I only had 5 work outfits and wore each one every week–that’s ok! It was temporary! With all of this, I spent more money on clothes and tailoring over the last year than I would have liked, but I view that as an investment in my health journey. I am in my mid-40s with 2 kids and feel better than I have since my 20s.
I found I could make too big clothes work, but I had to keep ordering new bras to fit my changing body. It was really important to keep them sized to the ‘now’ and not the ‘then’ or the ‘to come’.
All that to say, prioritize spending on correctly fitting undergarments.
If I don’t have the emotional or financial wherewithal to go shopping I just replace my favorites with poshmark finds in a new size. I wear a ton of j crew and Veronica beard and I can usually find the exact item I want in great shape for song. I encourage you to shop for awesome new things but this a strategy I’ve used in a pinch. Especially for things like pants and jeans which are tricky. Fwiw as I move up and down the scale I notice my body doesn’t completely transform. The same basic shapes and brands and cuts still work. It’s so much easily to size down then to reinvent the wheel. Congratulations and good luck!
Stretchy clothes. Harder for the office, but ponte pants worked. For casual, lots of athleisure. I could wear the same size in Vuori and some Lululemon over a 50lb size range.
I wore a lot of dresses for this reason because they’re more forgiving. I would not spend a ton of money on clothes in the meantime. My top has always been smaller than my bottom so I could wear smaller tops earlier and could wear a size for a while. But pants were different so I might have like 1-2 pairs in any size as I went down.
I will also add that it’s true that you should not keep your bigger size clothes “in case.” Dump them when you get to the new size and move on. Upside is that thrift stores or resale places will appreciate your barely worn clothes.
what’s the best nail polish that you’d use on kids? i’ve never thought about the chemicals and stuff because i have boys, but my youngest really wants to paint his toenails
I’d see what the EWG recommends.
I have boys who love(d?) having their toenails painted and I just paint them. I think I have sinful colors or something like that. The main hurdle is sitting still for 20 minutes while it dries.
Piggy polish if you’re concerned about chemicals. I would not use it as an adult, though.
How little? For under 5, we just used Piggy Polish. It only lasts a day or two but that’s all little kids need.
I gave up on Piggy Paint because it’s impossible to remove. For a kid who is 7 or 8 and willing to invest more than 5 minutes, I would go with Dazzle Dry. You can cut some time by doing just one coat of base coat instead of two.