Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Tie-Waist Sweater Dress
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Even though the temperatures are still in the 80s in the Northeast, we’ve reached the sartorial end of summer, which means I am legally required to start recommending sweater dresses for you to peruse.
This fit-and-flare dress from Nina Leonard is a great under-$50 option for someone building a work wardrobe on a budget. It comes in nine different colors, so there’s something for everyone.
The dress is $29.97 at Nordstrom Rack and comes in sizes S-XL.
Sales of note for 9/5/25
- Nordstrom – Summer sale has started, up to 60% off top brands
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event: 30% off your entire purchase, including new arrivals
- Anthropologie – 30% off clothing and accessories
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- J.Crew – Everyday styles from $34.50 — see our full roundup of what to buy for work at J.Crew
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off fall faves + extra 60% off clearance
- L.K. Bennett – 20% off all new-season
- Nordstrom Rack – Season Closeout: extra 40% off select clearance dresses, sandals, shorts, and swimwear(ends 9/11)
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance sales
- Soma – 5 panties for $39 + 35% off 3+ styles + buy 2 get 3 free panties — readers love these PJs and these no-VPL panties
- Talbots – 25-40% off select fall styles + extra 30% all markdowns — here are all the reader favorites at Talbots
- White House Black Market – 50% off all sale styles (ends 9/5)
Tailgating before a Big Ten football game this weekend with college friends, and so excited! It’s been a while – what’s your favorite tailgate food and beverage? Ideally not requiring a grill or a crock pot (as I don’t want to lug that stuff with me). Give me ideas! I’m bringing apple cider and donuts from the cider mill near me but need at least one other thing.
Chick-Fil-A chicken biscuits or minis
Big Ten season ticket holder here. Most of our games start at noon so its more of a breakfast vibe. Bagel sandwiches from the bagel shop on the way to the stadium. Turning bagel shop coffee into irish coffee once we’re at our tailgate spot. High noons and chips until time to go to the stadium.
I was also going to ask what time the game is. If you’re tailgating in the morning, I would definitely do bagels or breakfast sandwiches. Maybe a fruit tray too. Caveat: The fruit tray rec is coming from 42 year old me, not from 20 year old me! We never had fruit trays when tailgating in college. But I am not that young anymore!
We had a fruit tray in our 20s…the fruit was just soaked or plunked into booze 🤣
I LOVE Scotch Eggs. My aunt used to make them at Michigan State Tailgates :) they always remind me of football season. A little bit of work, but so delicious!
One of my friend’s moms used to bring some sort of cheesy potato casserole, like a less classy version of scalloped potatoes. I guess it was probably sort of vaguely warm, since there was not a way to heat it up. It was the perfect thing to eat when drinking outside all day.
I’ve seen this called both “funeral potatoes” and simply “cheesy potatoes”. The versions I have had typically have hashbrowns or other potato base, tons of cheese, and a “cream of…” Campbell’s soup. They are amazing.
Similar to this, I often make pinwheel sandwiches using tortillas or wraps and cut them into small pieces for events like this. Any deli meat and cheese plus spinach can work, but I have also done smoked salmon with cream cheese, dill, etc.
A lot of people love those baked ham sandwiches on Hawaiian rolls. But any mini sandwiches like that would do. Just put them in a disposable foil baking pan and trash it after.
DH and I are going to a show at Madison Square Garden at the end of the month, in NYC for just one night. Recommendations for a hotel and restaurant near the venue? TIA!
That is not my favorite neighborhood – are you sure you need to stay right nearby? There are tons of subways there that could take you anywhere in Manhattan very quickly.
This dawned on me when I went to a concert in Chicago and it made the trip much better. I was able to stay in a hotel in a better neighborhood and eat an uncrowded restaurant before taking the train to the concert.
Hudson Yards is right there and the Pendry and the Equinox hotel are both nice but expensive. If you can get a corporate rate through either of your employers that will help a lot.
Agreed that Hudson Yards area is your best bet if you want to be close to the venue. If you can’t swing one of those hotels, I would seriously consider staying a bit further away from MSG.
The Grayson on 39th between 5th and 6th.
I love the Arlo Midtown on 38th between 8th and 9th. The rooms are on the smaller side but hotel is wonderful.
Any recs for Boston restaurants for date night? Staying at the Intercontinental, up for anything. TIA!
Nebo is cute and right nearby! Or you’re in walking distance to the North End – I’d recommend Mare and Cafe Vittoria for coffee is a must!!
Any budget or style of food you’re looking for?
On the higher end, would recommend:
– O-Ya, No Relation or Wa Shin (all omakase)
– Asta
– Mooncusser (Moon Bar on the first floor is more casual and more fun)
If you want classic Italian in the North End, would recommend Mama Maria (nicer) or Tony & Elaine’s (more casual). Neptune Oyster is also delicious, but no reservations and involves a line.
Nautilus
+1
Id also get a sunset cocktail next door on the water at woods hole
Haley Henry is a delight, if you’re into good, interesting wines, thoughtful small plates, and tinned fish. Def. make a reservation: it’s tiny.
I find the site Boston Eater to be reliable. (I know it’s hit or miss in some cities.) Might be worth clicking through the articles to see if anything catches your eye. Without any facts about how old you are, what food you like, when you’re visiting or whether you’re getting into other neighborhoods on your trip, it’s hard to give a great recommendation.
Absent all of that info, I think Mariel has a great, festive date night atmosphere, and it’s only a few blocks from your hotel.
My mom’s cat has just been diagnosed with asthma and needs a daily dose of prednisone. She’s a senior on a fixed income – what’s the cheapest source for a maintenance drug like this?
If your mom has a Costco membership it’s probably cheapest there. That said my cats prednisone is like 20/month from the vet.
You don’t need a membership to use Costco pharmacies.
2nd Costco! Used to get our dog’s heart medication there for a fraction of the price!
One of my cats is on pred and I get it from my vet. I don’t remember the exact price, but I think it’s under $10.
You could check with Chewy and I think Walmart does pet meds too.
your local pharmacy may have it as well.
Check GoodRx for pets. I just ran a quick search for prednisone and it showed under $3 for 10 tabs of the 20 mg dose.
My dog takes a small dose of prednisone daily for Addison’s disease and my vet sends the prescription to our local CVS. It’s very inexpensive.
Check prices on GoodRx – my dog takes several meds, and one is very expensive. I looked at GoodRx and found the best price at Kroger (grocery chain). Every now and then I check the prices again, and Kroger is still the cheapest for this med.
Check GoodRx. Prednisolone is sometimes veterinary, but any pharmacy will have straight prednisone if a human pharmacy has the best discount.
It’s also not illegal to donate or accept donations of meds for veterinary use (I’ve donated plenty to cat rescues before), but prednisone should be available at low prices anyway.
prednisone should be dead cheap at basically any (human) pharmacy (like 5$ for a months supply), but it may be significantly easier to give the cat the drug in a liquid format- if so calling a few compounding pharmacies will be the way to go.
check chewy.com as well. I get our pet meds from there. they may have liquid options too.
Do you have a go-to source for finding out where a movie or show is streaming? Often when I hear a recommendation, I’m googling around to find out where it is, and get frustrated by the welter of scamming looking clickbait sites that show up on the search list. What’s your go-to method, if you have one?
Just watch
+1
+2
Chat gpt
Google. I just pick the obvious choices.
I just type the name into Google. The top result is a box that says “where to watch”. When I expand it, the list shows the different streaming services.
IMDB shows this information, just under the basic information and just above the ratings.
Yes, this is where I check. AI results are such garbage.
How do you think IMDB gets the information?
Wherever they got it long before AI existed?
I’m guessing it’s the other way around. Where do you think AI gets its information?
Google how to stream whatever.
+1.
Google’s always wrong these days
I have not had an issue with Google for this purpose.
Maybe if you don’t scroll past their AI results, but I always ignore those.
You can write -ai (minus ai) in the search bar and then you won’t get the AI results cluttering your search.
My google and Roku tvs both had a search function that allowed me to see which apps had access to the movie or show. Maybe that?
Reelgood website, shows if the site is free or not
My employer, like many, has put in travel caps and other budgetary measures. I just found out my boss is spending the whole team’s entire travel budget to fly himself first class across the globe to present MY research. Thanks for letting me rage.
wtf!!!
Tonight: Shots, Shots, Shots.
Tomorrow: job hunt.
Wtaf!! I am so sorry.
He’s a real piece of work. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
First your company prob has a rule about global travel being first class or at least not economy; even my nonprofit has guidelines on that (something like flights over 8 hours).
Second it may be a conference that requires more senior or exec presence.
Third even if both were true, I as a leader would not do this imply for the optics, though it would be possible that my own boss would make me
All of this is to say this may be a little more complicated than what you said here but is also super frustrating and sucks for you.
Title definitely can mean a lot when it comes to speaking acceptance. If I’m being totally honest (and since anon)–I’m pretty sure the only reason I’m on my organization’s leadership page of the website and have the senior title I do is because part of my job is winning speaker RFPs.
Our employer has a policy but generally no one books business class because we want to save funds because all travel comes from one budget, so it’s in very poor taste.
It’s not an executive conference it’s a scientific conference and I’m one of the most respected researchers in the world. My boss will be confused talking to other presenters.
Mediocre white men don’t need you white knighting for them.
lol I’m not white knighting for them. How could I when you don’t even mention his race…
I find on this and many other boards non-managers fail to understand or offer context (usually demonstrating why they themselves aren’t org leaders…) and yet I still came out on your side so this sounds like a you problem.
Well I guess if you are one of the most respected researchers in the world…. seriously? What is that.
Has anyone in BigLaw (etc) done radiation for cancer (br3ast)? I’m part/flextime in a very flexible (in some ways) BigLaw individual contributor in a transactional / regulatory area. I don’t see clients much and work from everywhere due to sandwich generation issues. This is a curve ball and I dont know if it’s just something else to work into my schedule or if I could feel so wretched that I can’t work (or somewhere in between). I’m otherwise really healthy and am in great overall health. First time for this in my family — my late grandmother had a different sort of br3ast cancer and just had a mastectomy and lived decades longer with no issues, dying at 96. Hospital and facilities are all walkable from my house. IDK if I need more help at work or at home. Planning to give up all volunteer roles but that’s it right now.
No experience, but wishing you the best possible outcome.
Likewise – wishing you wellness. And this is not what you asked so maybe i should mind my own beeswax but maybe take it easy and plan for a bit more self care and time to be tired etc. I think the crowd here tends to be of the ‘push thru’ mentality but this is a big deal and you shouldn’t feel bad about taking the time and space you need.
In your shoes, I would tell the firm and get an hours accommodation and also just backup in case you feel crummy and can’t do your work.
+1.
I did about 6 years ago. I’m mid-law, but “big” law, but partner level and relatively flexible. Honestly, it wasn’t as terrible as I expected. A lot of people said to take the first appointment of the day, but that was too much for me with getting kids out the door and hearing schedules. Instead, I choose the last appointment of the day (3:45 pm at my clinic). I left each day at 3:15, got there, and was generally home by 4:30. My kids were still in aftercare until 6 at the time, and I relied on my husband to get them for all 28 sessions. In the beginning, I got home and signed back on. As I got more tired towards the end, I would often just rest and respond to emails on my phone after the session. I was able to keep working out throughout treatment. I know I was more tired and had trouble towards the end wearing a bra, but I wasn’t as tired as I was in early pregnancy (for comparison). Happy to answer any other questions!
Thanks! This is all helpful. My kids are a bit older but still have activities (that we have to coordinate driving for). First trimester was exhausting, but I got through that.
First, sorry and welcome to the club. I’m not big law, but inv banking adjacent. I worked throughout. The appts are very short, like 10 minutes. I did them first thing in the morning (7:30 or 8 am). I was fine to work the entire time. My skin got irritated by the end like a sunburn (you’ll be prepared for that by the docs), and I kept covered up to my neck and down elbows for work and every thing during and after. I was a little tired, but frankly it was the easiest part of the cancer journey to work into my workday. When I say I was a little tired, it was more a — not going out or socializing at night tired. I could work just fine.
That said, everyone is different. Just know it can be done! The logistics were the worst part—having to go to the hospital for a short appt every day for 3-4 weeks.
My sister recently had radiation and, for her, the tiredness built up and slowly dissipated. That is, she felt fine on week 1, tired on week 4, and then tired for a few weeks after radiation. She thinks this is a common experience.
I would 100% take FMLA.
I would absolutely not do that until you saw how it impacted you. I would have gone insane without work for another month, especially right on the heels of being out for 6 weeks to recover from surgery. I needed normalcy.
You can ask for intermittent FMLA and not use it, or use the hours you need and no more. This means you’re protected if you need more time off, and if you only need a few hours here and there, those are guaranteed in a way that just asking for time off may not be.
True. But in Big Law specifically, most places don’t track PTO/sick leave. It’s based on billing. Obviously, if you’re hourly or work set hours, YMMV.
Not in big law but in-house at a very busy tech company. I went through this last year. I work from home, but my facility was a 30 minute drive away. I took an early appointment. I was able to drive myself the entire time, and I did not take any time away from work. I got tired as it went on, but it’s more like a flu kind of tired. My kids were in elementary and high school, but I was still able to do my regular mom chores. My best advice is to up your protein if you can, get some great skin creams and take it easy as much as possible. Radiation made me nauseous, so I drank a lot of protein shakes since I did not feel like eating. Another tip – mask up this winter. My immume system went down the tubes and is only now a year later mostly recovered. Good luck to you! It’s such a relief when it’s over.
I am an in-house CLO with a young child, also very recently diagnosed, and starting radiation next week. My radiation oncologist said that there is just no way to tell who might struggle with fatigue and who does not – it is totally variable, and not dependent on how otherwise healthy or active you are. I am not going into it planning to take any time off, but I also have a lot of flexibility, so I will be able to if it turns out that I need it. I am planning to just work it into my schedule and not giving up any of my volunteer work. My close friend just went through it and reported that she felt more tired, but not so tired that she had to alter any of her normal day-to-day activities, cancel plans, etc.
Is dark academic still a current style? I’m sweating now but will be in the mood for cozy soon (but can’t wear all of the hygge / Scandi lighter pastel cool weather items I’m finding). (I then find my winter clothes goth-like and oppressive in their darkness by March).
It’s not so much “in style” as it is “personal aesthetic.”
Yes, this. If you like darker clothes, wear them! If you like an aesthetic that evokes “academia,” buy darker clothes that evoke that for you. You can buy those clothes in more on-trend silhouettes and cuts, or more classics cuts. Up to you.
(To fix the oppressive-in-March issue, I purposely look for a few items that are warmer and weather-appropriate, but in lighter or brighter colors, so that I can pull them out in later winter/early spring and get a change-up to match the season, but still be warm.)
I will always love this look especially in the fall! Give me oversized cardigans, big gemstone jewelry, all the tweeds and houndstooth and supple leather. I hear burgundy red is in style this fall (surprise surprise)
We seem to be doing another round of Boho. Could you make that work?
My son’s friend in high school announced that this was his aesthetic a few years ago and i remembered the story but not the exact words. When I saw the kid and what he was wearing, I tried to guess: “goth Harry Potter?” He looked confused but my son was like, yes, that’s it. Let’s go away from my mom now
Never goes out of style! You do you!
My mom just got diagnosed with breast cancer at 65, which her father also had around the same age. The doctor has recommended genetic testing, but I’m not sure if she’ll do it. I would like to, however. Does anyone have experience with this?
I have experience with this. Highly recommend. Knowledge is power. I paid a small amount for a genetic test and tested positive. I had some preventative surgery (removal of ovaries and fallopian tubes post menopause) and am on a schedule for extra screening overall. Having said that, I’m in a country that does not require private health insurance to obtain medical care and I don’t know how a positive screen might affect your insurability if you are in the US.
Do it! My mom wouldn’t get tested, I did, the testing flagged something that recommended my brother get tested, he was early screened for cancer, it was found, treated, and he’s been in remission for years. It’s so worth it.
Are you in the US? How did this work/what kind of doctor has to order it?
Your primary care doctor can order it. You can bring this up at your next physical or make a separate appointment with your primary care doctor in light of your mom’s diagnosis.
Absolutely do it, but also recognize that like 75% of BC is not genetic, so it’s very likely that it won’t be an issue. But like everyone said, knowledge is power in case it is. I had no family history and no genetic reason why I got cancer, but if I had and if I had known, I really wish I could have taken preventative steps. My surgery sucked, but it’s the years of medication that are really sucking the life out of me (plus fear of relapse). Living without that would be so worth it.
I have some experience. My OB referred me to a geneticist, and the consult with that person was billed as a regular doc appt. Then the genetic test was around $200 (a few years ago). Just spit into a tube and wait a couple weeks.
I met with the geneticist 15 years ago when my sister had cancer and she did genetic testing—decision was that since she shared her results I didn’t need to do the testing because we’d be the same. Then a few years ago when I had cancer, I did the test under the theory that were a cancer-y family and they test for more things now. So I’ve had the whole talk with the geneticist counselor 2x.
Literally just had my annual exam and my gyn brought it up as well. She said that they’ll take the blood and if my insurance doesn’t cover it, they just don’t run the test.
Did your doctor refer you to a genetic counselor? I would pursue that before making a decision. It’s very specific to your situation and a balance of pros and cons. For my own specific situation, the genetic counselor walked me through my profile, the surprisingly high rate of false positives, the insurance impacts and the marginal benefits of genetic screening vs. regular MRIs and I decided against it. It sounds like your profile is quite different and a lot depends on whether there are other relatives besides yourself who could be impacted, but it doesn’t hurt to talk to someone focused on the impact on you.
Make sure your life insurance is in place prior to the testing.
+ Disability insurance and LTC insurance as well
Yes – absolutely do it. Would also say, even without any (known) genetic flags for cancer, you likely qualify for more aggressive screening protocols.
I started mammograms and breast MRIs at 30 because of a similar-ish genetic history. Insurance fully covers it – no issues at all.
I did it. My grandmother, mom, and sister all had br3ast cancer so I sort of assumed I would get it at some point. My mom had genetic testing done after her recovery but maybe 10-15 years ago… it came back negative… but for my own peace of mind I also got the testing redone about a year ago. The doctor told me that genetics have evolved in the past decade and they have more markers to screen now. It came back negative again. I still get mammograms of course, but it is nice not to feel like a ticking time bomb.
Also know they may not be able to pinpoint a specific genetic issue even though it looks genetic. My grandmother, mother and some of her sisters had cancer – mostly breast cancer. I was the first to be diagnosed pre-menopause with breast cancer. Nothing specific found, but doctors said there appeared to be a genetic issue. That was 10+ years ago so maybe if I did the testing today it would yield a different outcome.
After a fun, yet very busy, summer I desperately need to get back into good habits. I know the habits I want to change, but dont always have the discipline to make time or energy for them in a busy week. But also my life is manageable enough that theres really no excuse to not make the time or find the energy.
One thing I am struggling to adjust to is the fact that while I know the changes I want to make and I know that they’ll lead to outcomes I want in my life, until recently I haven’t had to provide my own motivation. I’ve spent my entire early adult life in environments with external motivation. For example, I was a college athlete. Waking up at 5am to workout then be in class / doing homework all day then practice again at night was “auto pilot” for me. I never knew any different, I couldn’t let my teammates down, and my coach rode us all hard. To sleep in or not give it your all or to be late for class was not an option and there were consequences for not following those rules. Parts of my 20s were spent working with the military (though I was not in the military myself). Even as a civilian, if I messed up I was hauled out into the hallway and chewed out. I didn’t have to work out, but everyone took a fitness break at the same time so there was peer pressure to partake. There was peer pressure to more or less have the same comportment as the military counterparts: “on time means late”, looking put together, not getting distracted and goofing off at work, keeping my desk neat, etc. I’m also super competitive, in the right environment, and so if I was invited to join PT I wanted to be fitter than my military counterparts. I wanted to be accepted by them as being as tough or bad@$$ or whatever and that reflected in my work and how I handled myself.
Now I have a pretty relaxed job. It’s too easy to show up 10 mins late, to take a extra day on an assignment just because I can (and spend that extra time scrolling), to dress appropriately but a little sloppily, to not workout as often or as hard, to be less communicative and proactive at work, to check social media during the work day, etc. It has also carried over to my personal life: my apartment is now messier (I also no longer have roommates and don’t feel the need to contain the clutter to my bedroom), I’m more often late when meeting friends or going to bed, because I’m less into working out I care less about nutrition and eat too much takeout as opposed to cooking something easy for myself.
I don’t like this version of me! I’m lazier, messier, less fit, eating junk (which doesn’t make me feel good physically!), spend too much time scrolling instead of doing work or hobbies I enjoy, saving less money, etc.
Turns out I’m great at being disciplined, but only in a very disciplined or competitive environment.
Any tips on readopting good habits in “normal” life?
It sounds like you are a person who does well with external motivation. One concrete step would be to sign up for an early morning fitness class. This will force you to get out of bed instead of scrolling and get in your workout. It will also get you off to a good start that sets you up to feel more like picking up after yourself and eating healthy meals for the remainder of the day.
I’m similar to you, but I’m pretty disciplined irrespective of my environment and tend to be rigid about these things, so this may not be super helpful advice.
You just gotta do it. Commit to a change or small set of changes that you think are reasonable to commit to starting tomorrow, and give yourself no excuses for making it happen. For fitness, there’s lots of ways to work out in a group setting- I found running club to be super awesome for this purpose, and I also like OrangeTheory where I try to get the most splat points in every class (and therefore “win class”). On saving saving money- automating is your friend here. Do you enjoy food/cooking? That could be a good way to get excited about making healthy food rather than it feeling like you need to just “be more disciplined”
Random options; ymmv caveats apply
– Would you benefit from putting in place some external commitments, so you have that “why” (rather than “be disciplined in order to be disciplined)? Eg. Sign up for a shift serving dinner at the shelter 2 nights a week, where if you are late you are actually letting down and causing problems for people who really, really need you, not mildly inconveniencing your friends? For messiness, invite someone over *every* eg. Thursday evening for a casual spaghetti and meatballs dinner, so your apartment has to be cleaner-ish (bonus: normalize casual community building at the same time! )
– Goal: Gather a friend, commit to training to a marathon/ironman/fill-in-the-blank in the spring
– For takeout, would thinking about it as a financial goal instead of a health one help? And dedicate the savings each time to some other specific savings goal you have, or a donation fund?
– For scrolling, the only thing that truly helps me is not having my phone on me, and blocking/timelimiting certain apps and websites (depending on your phone, these features might be buried under parental controls). There are just so many designers/psychologists/data experts putting their full effort into keeping you there; I figure I need to save my discipline for fairer fights, and use as many external supports as I can here!
– There’s always a paper sticker chart :)
Two things work well for me: doing things that I really want to do EVERY day (not every other day or even less frequently) and using small chunks of time to get chores done. It’s easier to get outside every single day than it is to do it four days a week. It’s easier to get the counters wiped down and the tabletop cleared while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil than it is to set aside half an hour to “clean the kitchen.”
Maybe CrossFit or something competitive would be helpful for you too.
There’s probably a little of column a and a little of column b here. So you need to find your own ways to create that accountability but you also might need to think about different job environments. I for one know that I need more structure and pressure, which other people would find oppressive and I would really struggle to work for myself or similar. You might be able to scratch some itches by building in more activities that have that like signing up for some hard workout classes where you have to show up or using AI to help build your schedule and trigger reminders so ‘current you’ is actually managed by ‘past you’ who can be a little more tough on you!
I think a lot of discipline is just doing the damn thing, regardless of whether motivation or inspiration has hit you at that exact moment.
I read an article recently about how motivation and discipline are different cognitively. Motivation feels better, triggers dopamine, but it is inconsistent – so feels amazing, but can’t be relied on. And the writer made a point that Michael Phelps probably didn’t feel motivated to swim every day, but he still got into that pool every. single. day. I think about that Michael Phelps not wanting to get into the pool every day when I don’t feel motivated to do the thing.
I know it’s easier said than done, but for me, understanding a little bit about the brain chemistry of why waiting for motivation doesn’t really work, help me just get over the “I don’t wanna” and do the thing.
My husband is like this and I feel like his manager, it’s exhausting. He needs external validation and his sense of self is shakey.
Maybe work on your confidence and sense of self, learn to love yourself solo and not rely on the validation of others. If you have internal validation you can find internal motivation.
I’m like this although I didn’t have the benefit of being a college athlete and discovering that early morning fitness was the key.
Join a team sport that has early morning practices – for me that’s rowing. DH is always confused that I’ll show up on time for people I barely know when I won’t get up on time for myself but I’m in an acceptance phase of life – this is just how I am. Accepting that and working with it turns out to be much more pleasant than constantly trying to change myself.
Sounds like you need something to fill your time back up to create a sense of urgency to get stuff you don’t want to do done. Since you were an athlete, might I suggest the midlife triathlon, marathon, roller derby league or something like that? As someone with similar behaviors, my life just goes so much better when I’m training for a marathon since there is less couch rotting time. My husband’s theory is that this is just me self treating the ADHD I refuse to get diagnosed with.
Why are you opposed to getting a diagnosis? My partner finally got a diagnosis and they are so much more tolerable when medicated with proper management strategies.
– Get a coach
– sign up for some classes
– post on your private page
– add a tracker to track visually
– try an app like BetterYou to gamify it and win $
– do a challenge or competition at work
– sign up for a 10k
As an update to the conversation about cover letters – I just saw a hiring manager repost a job listing with a specific note along the lines of “if you want me to invest in reviewing your candidacy, please take the time to personalize your cover letter” – so a) there are still people who want this and b) effective strategy (it’s actually a job I was considering applying for; I’m pretty sure LinkedIn served me her post because I had already viewed the jd)
I so wish I could give candidates advice.
– Why is your resume in 2 different fonts?
– Read up on the STAR method and implement it. Or any other method of your choice.
We give feedback but only to people who make it to later rounds.
I missed the conversation but absolutely agree. A cover letter is a writing sample and a potentially powerful piece of marketing. People who do it well stand out when I’m hiring.
Yeah, I’ve seen very polished resumes, and then the cover letter has the name of a different firm, or describes how the candidate has always wanted to do litigation (which we don’t do as a firm). It tells me a lot about sloppiness and attention to detail. These are also things that AI isn’t necessarily going to fix for the candidate.
I just bought a Costco membership on a recommendation here for their rental car program. The savings on one rental more than paid for the membership, and I was able to buy damage insurance to protect myself against false claims of damage at a small fraction of the price the rental car company was charging. While I was signing up for the membership I walked through the store and didn’t find any useful merchandise deals–we don’t need to replace any electronics, we are empty nesters with a small house so we can’t buy paper towels in bulk, we don’t eat much processed food, and we are not interested in inflatable yard decorations. What else is Costco good for that I’m missing?
Furnace filters, non processed foods (organic PB, dried beans, rice, etc), laundry detergent, toothbrush heads, garbage bags, dish soap, etc.
Marinated artichokes, coffee, protein powder, vitamins, rotisserie chicken, fruit
Piggybacking to ask about Costco rental car deals. When you rent through Costco, do you know what rental company you’ll be with/do you have a choice, or is more of the old Priceline style where you don’t see the agency, they just give you a price?
You see which agency it is. They give you all the different options, and highlighting which one is cheaper, and it’s often cheaper than Expedia or Hotwire can give you. You can pick which one you want (for example, I used to go with the one where I had “status” as long as it wasn’t too much more expensive, as I knew I would get a better car.) I have found that sometimes it says “no cars available” when there are clearly cars available on the other websites.
DP here. I have rented cars from Costco online at least a dozen times. Yes, not only do you get national agencies (Budget, Alamo, Enterprise, etc.), but you can compare maybe 4 or 5 of them at a single time. You do not pay for the reservation. At any point in time, you can check again and if prices fall, create a new reservation and cancel the old one, all online. Also, they have the lowest prices. Also, another adult driver over 25 years old can be added for free. I have had zero downside renting a car through Costco and recommend it highly.
With a Costco car rental through Alamo this summer, I was told I could add up to 7 different drivers. Crazy, but the weird facts of this particular trip meant that I ended up adding 3. It was so convenient.
Zyrtec if you have allergies. It pays for the membership as well.
Yes! And their generic sudafed is something like $2/box.
+1 the generic is on sale right now for like $10 for 300 pills
watch out for this though with the new warnings about it causing recurrent itching!
I had this!
Their pesto is the best. We always have a jar on hand. I also buy my allergy meds there (claritin) which also more than pays for the membership (like $20 for a 365/day supply).
We then package the pesto into tiny containers and freeze them. Pull one out at a time when you want pesto. We would never get through an entire container before it molds, which it will do.
Good call! We typically get thru it without an issue (pesto pasta and as a sandwich spread) but that’s super smart.
We freeze the pesto in silicone ice cube trays, and then pop the frozen cubes into a storage container. These are so great for adding just the right amount to any dish.
No recommendations but I need rental cars frequently so thanks for the tip to look into a costco membership!
Glasses
Hearing aids too if anyone in your life needs them.
My BF just got a hearing aid at Costco and it’s been great.
Things I have bought at Costco that justify a lifetime membership:
– so many rental cars, as you note
– package vacations – Spring Break this year was $2K cheaper than the same package quoted by a travel agent
– tires
– new electronics (DH got a new laptop last year; we got a nice big TV several years back)
Consumables that are significantly cheaper than other places that aren’t huge to store:
– batteries
– laundry and dish detergent
– meats – we will buy their bulk pack and freeze what we won’t use in a week. It’s cheap enough to be worth the effort
– sunscreen
– gift cards (we usually do AMC theater ones in our area to make movies cheaper; they also run big discounts on Southwest Airlines gift cards a few times a year – $500 value for $425, worth it if you know you travel SW frequently)
Also, if you are charitably minded, it’s a great place to buy large quantities to donate. On a monthly basis, we pick up cans of beans, broth, tomatoes, tuna, etc. and drop them off at our local food bank. Occasionally they put out calls for things like diapers and wipes and I’ll grab several from Costco.
I forgot dishwasher detergent. The Kirkland pods are one of the only brands that leaves out rinse aides and still works (I have to use scissors to keep the pod plastic out of my vintage dishwasher, but it’s worth it).
Costco now sells the Blueland dishwasher tablets, and they are clean and no plastic, and they actually work. This might be a good option for your vintage dishwasher.
Thank you! It’s a relief to have another option that has no alcohol ethoxylates for my IBD household.
I’m primarily a scratch cook and mostly vegetarian, but if you eat a lot of meat, their stuff is good quality/value. Flour, sugar, maple syrup, dog food, basic spices, yeast, frozen veggies. Heavy cream is cheaper in the half gallon than a pint is in my local supermarket. Eggs. Their ghirardelli brownie mix is my holiday shortcut when I’m pressed for time.If you’re in Canada, whole sandwich Marzano tomatoes. Onions, garlic/garlic. The lightweight gloves are perfect for running or as a glove liner and I usually buy a pair or two each year when I inevitably lose one.
I live alone in a small house and these are my main recurring purchases. If you have a dog, Costco dog beds are the best quality for the price out there.
What kind of unprocessed food do you eat? At Costco I get imported pecorino and parmesan cheese, Kirkland brand olive oil, kalamata olives, plain yogurt, Romaine lettuce, arugula, sweet mini peppers, pistchaos and hazelnuts, eggs, and frozen fish. Our household of two does fine with the quantities, but we never eat out or get takeout so that may help. We also get some pharmacy stuff like fexofenadine, Xyzal, and contact lenses, as well as some more processed foods like Spindrift, mayonnaise, mustard, hardboiled eggs, and Worcestershire sauce.
Seconding to not sleep on fresh foods. The cheeses are good, sausages for hosting BBQs, the produce at mine is very good quality and we cook at home a lot, so using up 3lb of asparagus or strawberries is not that challenging.
Are you me? This is basically our exact list.
I’m sure it varies by store but the Italian fresh foods section at our store is fire.
Socks/underwear for men, Head running shorts for the zipper side pocket, packable down coats from various brands, dishwater tabs and dog food and toys are some of our other favs.
We also get the in-store salads to use as work lunches on hectic weeks.
Oooh, I never thought to get contact lenses there. do you just need to show them a current prescription?
If I recall, yes!
Their wine prices are really good.
Meat is the big one for us – we eat a lot of chicken breast and thighs. It does not take much effort to stick half the package in a freezer bag and is a significant savings vs. buying a much smaller package at the store
Some of the other perishables we like are:
– Eggs if you have room to store the two dozen package it’s a good deal and they last a long time
– Babybell cheese or other pre-packaged cheese
– Spinach mix – large tub is the same cost as a small one at the grocery store)
– Berries
– Brick of butter – lower priced than grocery store, we stick one in the freezer so we never run out
– Bag of red onions and sweet onions if you cook with onions a lot, way cheaper than buying onions individually and you can store in a cupboard pretty easily
– The prepared chicken pot pie is an easy dinner, tasty and reasonably priced
The clothes section is worth it for me as well. Both my husband and I like their Cole Haan ankle socks and Kirkland thick winter socks which are very reasonably priced. I’ve bought pyjamas, leggings, half zip sweaters and a rain coat in the last year that I’ve been pleased with the quality for the price
The linens and towels are also good quality and reasonably priced if you need to replace anything. I also like their Swedish dish clothes and the Costco package is a great deal
How do rental cars work at Costco? Do you have to go to the store to pick up the car? For me, I’d use up all of the savings and more on an Uber to the store and back.
No, you book online through Costco and pick up at a regular rental car counter (like at an airport).
Haha, no, you do not rent the car directly from Costco. You book from the regular rental agencies at a discount through Costco.
No, you can pick them up at the airport rental counter.
Sorry for the dumb question. I am single no kids in a city so Costco exists only on the edges of my world but sometimes I get Costco-curious.
I find the prices on laundry detergent and olive oil are good. I also like it for over-the-counter medications and cleaning products. Also good prices on wine and liquor (which I think you don’t need a membership to buy).
I used them to replace our furnace and air conditioner and had a really good experience. I’ve bought gift cards there and postage stamps.
Marinated artichoke hearts, feminine hygiene products, use their pharmacy and get gas.
I always browse their skincare when something is running low! They recently had Drunk Elephant’s vitamin c serum for half the price and often have other good brands – Shiseido, Korres, fresh, La Mer if that’s your thing etc.
I also get Costco brand Flonase (which definitely pays for the membership) and fancy freeze-dried liver dog treats.
I find myself buying a fair amount of clothing. I like Costco for casual “at home” kind of stuff
Big bags of King Arthur flour, chicken broth, canned tomatoes, canned beans, frozen soup dumplings, trash bags, zipper storage bags, dishwasher tabs and rinse aid, allergy meds (this one alone probably pays for the membership), OTC pain relievers and stomach meds, shampoo/toothpaste/moisturizer, laundry detergent, etc. And oh yes … wine!
Also seconding the person who replaced their furnace and AC through them – I got a much better deal with their HVAC contractor versus what other local companies quoted me.
If you live near the Costco, you will find that gas prices at Costco are always the cheapest in the area.
Separately, if you ever take Uber or order from Uber eats, you can buy $100 of Uber gift cards for $80 and save 20% on all of your Uber rides. Same deal for a lot of restaurants nearby.
I find the best prices and quality for all produce, wine, coffee, coffee filters, nuts, spices, towels, bath mats, vitamins, oatmeal, Rao’s pasta sauce, yogurt, books and more.
Booze, prescription medication, eyeglasses, vacations
I have also had great success with renting cars through Costco.
What I bought at my last Costco trip. Single person, living alone.
Large potted chyrsanthemums
Large squeeze bottle of Graza olive oil
Large bags of frozen Tru Fru chocolate covered strawberries (love it!)
Organic blueberries, strawberries and raspberries
A rotisserie chicken
Goat cheese
Pistachios
Vitamins (D, chewable C, magnesium glycinate)
Gas
And I love my Kirkland bedsheets that I bought last month.
So irritating when items don’t come in XS too.
Even more irritating when the XS is more like a M and I’m sized out!
And before ANYONE comes at me because I know y’all will, I’m mid 30s with 3 kids and a very healthy, yet very slim 00. And yes, vanity sizing is real and yes, those of us on the lower end of the size range are legitimately sized out of many major brands, and no, we don’t all have money to get absolutely everything tailored.
Nobody is coming for you, lol.
Someone already did!
I think about this. If a S fits me then what are all the actually tiny people supposed to do!?!
Yeah, I’m in my 40s and I’m two to four numeric sizes smaller today than I was in college. (If anything, I’ve gained a few pounds since college.) But at least there are things in my size. I think being at either end of the size spectrum just sucks right now.
Yes, in 1996 I weighed 118 and wore a size 6. This week my 145 lb friend with a bit of a belly told me she is a 6 or a 4.
And even if the smallest size “fits,” it’s proportioned wrong because they just subtracted the same number of inches from each measurement of like a size 12. There is a reason that misses’ and womens’ sizes used to be different departments.
World’s smallest violin
But not if the XXS is really a medium
Thanks to vanity sizing, that’s now a viola.
Hahahaha, nice.
World’s biggest eyeroll.
THIS is why I posted the disclaimer. Truly, why do you feel the need to make a response like that? Is it jealousy? If so, own up to it.
Not every “woe is me” thought needs to be posted on the internet.
It’s kind of like rich people complaining that they feel poor despite their high salaries. Maybe you do, but you have options that most don’t. If one brand doesn’t fit you, you can easily find dozens of others, including the most beautiful designer pieces, that do.
Anon at 12:25, I wrote that I can’t afford tailoring so please tell me what makes you think I can afford designer brands? Just over here trying to wear some Ann Taylor or J Crew but can’t. No, I cannot “easily find dozens of brands” that fit. Just because you don’t have this experience doesn’t mean it’s a real, and frustrating, experience for me and others.
Can we also remember that not everyone who is very thin is 5’10? I know some women who are just very small framed: like 5’2 and a size 00. On them, it’s not super skinny the way it would be on someone with a larger bone structure or who is at least a half foot taller.
Yes, this is me. I wear a very small size because I am an overall small person. If you saw pictures of me, you would just think I am very short and average weight, not the itty bitty person that my “stats” would imply that I am.
lol, see what you did there!
I’ve recently gotten pudgy and it’s nice not being sized out of brands anymore. I still want to crawl out of my skin though.
+1
+1!
The universe said, happy 40th birthday, this buy all new pants.
But actually – I’m 5’9″ and a 6/8 in higher end pieces. I went to JCrew and was in a 2(!) in some things and a 0(!) in others – I should NOT be in a 0. I can’t even imagine what folks who are actually tiny are wearing.
I’m in the middle of a healthy weight range for someone who’s very tall – that should put me on the upper end of the “straight” size range…
If I’m in DC at a hotel near Dupont Circle, is Zip Car still a thing there? It might be easier to have a car to drive out to the suburbs and back (for a family), but I’ve usually rented at the airport. A car would usually be a nuisance in DC, but for this trip, if it’s easy to get a 4-person sized zip car for a few hours, I’d do it that way. I’ve never used Zip Car, but recall it being popular when I lived there a while ago.
Only their website can tell you this for sure.
I live near there and there are a few car rental places nearby if that helps (enterprise) and that would probably end up being cheaper than a zip car membership plus rental…
I forgot zipcar still existed. Depending on how far, we’ve more recently used scheduled Ubers or Lyfts for this rather than renting.
Yes I see Zip cars and I also see a lot of Free2Move cars around town.
Talk to me about Orange Theory. I’m a regular cardio exerciser who also lifts weights; I’d say I’m in great physical condition. But I’m looking to mix up my routine to add something bootcamp-ish for one or two workouts per week. If you’ve tried Orange Theory, what did you like or hate? Is there a better option?
I live in a major metro area that has a lot of workout options. So I’m here for suggestions.
I have done Orange Theory off and on since 2018 and I really enjoy it. I’m similar to you in that I am and have always been in excellent shape, and I regularly do cardio and lift weights. I really like the variability of the workouts and sometimes I pop in to just get an hour long workout done without having to put planning effort into my lifting routine for the day. I tend to go more often when work is busy and I just need to bang out a workout. I also really like the people and the vibe of pretty much every studio I have ever been to- I travel a lot, so I have seen many. Lots of people at different ages and stages in their fitness journey which somehow doesn’t translate into a less hard workout for me. It feels like people are there to work on their fitness vs like getting all dolled up in cute workout gear and a full face of make up. I really don’t have a negative thing to say about it, other than I always bring earplugs in case the music is too loud. But they are nowhere near the worst offenders here.
I’ve been going on and off for nearly 8 years and, for me, it’s the best option. It’s less than an hour, I get cardio and lifting, and I push myself way harder in a group setting than I do in my basement or alone at a gym. People complain that it’s not enough lifting, but for me, it is. I’m not trying to be Arnold. Personally, I like it better than some of the others I’ve tried. F45 did not have enough cardio for me; Burn was too social; Crossfit gyms didn’t give me enough explanation of what the heck was going on and I felt lost.
I have been doing Orange Theory for a few years now. I think it is perfect for what you are looking for (although, to be fair, there are a lot of similar workouts: Barry’s Bootcamp, etc.) — it is a mix of cardio and weights. I personally workout harder in a group environment so it pushes me in a way that I couldn’t do on my own. I don’t buy into the actual Orange “theory” itself, but I think it is helpful to make sure you are always pushing yourself. I would not do it every day, but a few days a week is great.
I actually kind of hate how much I love OrangeTheory, because it’s a little cheesy. It’s loud high-energy musical mashups (often of 2010s music), low lighting, quickly changing exercises. Their standard classes are a combo of rowing, weight lifting and treadmill. Their gimmick is a heartrate monitor you wear and you have different zones of effort based on % of max heartrate. You don’t have to wear the monitor though. Sometimes I just wear my apple watch.
What I love: class goes by SO fast, you can turn your brain off and just do what the TV display/instructor says. I am always in an amazing mood when I leave. It’s a real no-judgement environment. You can modify exercises as needed, and I’ve seen people leave lunchtime classes before the end to get back to work and it’s NBD.
What some people might dislike: less of a focus on lifting form– coaches generally don’t correct much, expensive, maybe not as rigorous as Barry’s/more intense workouts.
You should definitely do the trial class!
Tacking onto this, can anyone give me a really quick rundown of what kind of equipment Orangetheory uses? I’m also interested in trying it, but the ones in my area have such dark windows that I literally can’t see what they’re doing in there! I have a chronic injury that I need to nurse a little bit, although I suppose I could always see if a free trial class is an option before committing.
Treadmill, rowing machine and a weight area with weights (8 through 25, heavier weights if you want), a bench, a bosu ball and a tether attached to the wall for certain exercises).
Only adding that there are bikes and ellipticals as an alternative to the treadmill as well.
I’d rather claw my eyes out than spend time on the elliptical. I don’t know what it is about that machine, but I detest it. Give me a treadmill and I’m fine – similar motions on the elliptical and I’m counting down the seconds.
Definitely try the free class and mention the injury to the “coach”. You can for sure modify as needed and they have a stationary bike if you need to swap out the cardio.
+1. I’m usually a runner but injured my ankle earlier this year while marathon training and I have been using the bike in the meantime.
Thank you both! I think I’ll try it out.
The first class is free and one hour. Just go take it; you won’t know if you will like it or not based on comments here.
I love it and have been on and off (depending on training for other events and pregnancies) for almost a decade now.
I love Orange Theory. Do the free class and see if you like it!
I love that I don’t have to make any decisions, and the workout is different every day. I just have to show up, brain turned off. The vibe is upbeat and friendly. Any fitness level is fine. I went from a size 16 who could not run a mile to a size 8 that does 5ks for fun.
That’s good to hear – I’m nervous about starting up postpartum when I’m really not in good shape and have the breastfeeding weight to lose. I don’t want to feel like a fool.
If you’re interested in Orangetheory and also scroll Reddit, there’s a very active sub. They generally post what the workout is so it’s a chance to see exactly what happens in class. OTF has also added strength-only and tread-only workouts so that can help round things out for people.
I love Orange Theory. I’ve always had an exercise routine and tried multiple different things. Orange Theory is incredibly efficient for me. I go 4 times a week max, and that’s enough to stay in really good shape. When I had no problem shoveling 1.5 feet of heavy snow for 1.5 hours last winter, and no problem accepting a spontaneous invite to join friends in Denver and hike up to 13,500 feet this summer, I thought “thanks to OT!”
Those examples are very motivating.
Question I’m having trouble figuring out – are outlets in Canada the same as the USA? Ie. will my hairdryer and phone chargers work there?
yes
Yes – USA and Canada are the same.
Yes, it’s the same. Come visit! Elbows up Canada!
Solidarity, northern neighbor!
🤣 yes
LOL. Yes.
Thank you!!! Big sigh of relief here!!!
How often do you do Crest whitestrips? I just did the 14-day box and saw some improvement, but there’s a ways to go (had never done them before). It looks like they say to do it no more than twice per year, but I know some people do it more often.
I’ve been buying the Opalescense pre-filled 7 day trays and doing 1 per month as kind of maintenance, in case that’s appealing to you.
I got in the habit of using mouthwash after lunch when I had invisalign, and I used a whitening one. When I went in to get my attachments removed my dentist asked me if I’d had my teeth professionally whitened! So my suggestion would be consistent use of the mouthwash can be pretty effective, and it is way less irritating for my teeth than the trays were.
Looking for Barcelona recommendations for a mid-September trip. Currently I have tickets to the Sagrada Familia but nothing else scheduled. Is it worth it to do another Gaudi? I enjoy history and anything outside. thanks!
We enjoyed the Picasso Museum. And I don’t remember the name of the beach, but eating with the view of a gorgeous beach.
Love Barcelona! I think you can’t go wrong with another Gaudi if you have a few days. I enjoyed Casa Batllo and Casa Mila. Also recommend the modernist architecture at Recinte Modernista de Sant Pau, which is a short walk away from the Sagrada Familia. A bit off the beaten path but very cool view of the city is Bunkers de Carmel – go at sunset. Eixample is a gorgeous upscale neighborhood and has beautiful pedestrianized paths.
Carmel bunkers are full of drunk tourists that go to party, avoid them but try to see as many Gaudy works as you can.
If you’re at all into food, do a food tour with Devour. They do one in Gracia that’s great.
Paella and sangria are not Barcelona foods, don’t bother. Try fideua instead. Barceloneta will have enjoyable seafood options. Xiringuitos are the beach bars you’ll see along the coast–enjoy a little bite there.
Avoid Las Ramblas and things about a block from it on either side–it’s like a Times Square of awful touristy targeting. If you want a lovely stroll on a leafy boulevard with shops, etc., enjoy Rambla de Catalunya or Rambla del Poblenou instead.
There’s a great archeaological site in El Born under an old city market. When they were doing work on the market in the early-mid aughts, they uncovered huge, well preserved city ruins. Barcelona is an old city under it all! You can walk around above (and among) the ruins in that space, and there’s a good local beer bar attached for Moritz (like their city beer).
Be careful when saying you should skip the sangria and try something local on this blog; there are people here who boast about having done so on vacation for 20 years because “it’s what tourists do.”
I’ve been reading and posting here since 2008, I’ve seen and scrolled past a lot. Those are the ones I ignore lol
A friend recently discovered some old letters with a lot of sentimental value. Probably 50 or so, still in envelopes. I’d love to gift her something pretty and portable she could store them in/bring to family gatherings. Any ideas?
I’ve given leather photo albums, embossed w/ their initials, to folks before – you could get one with large enough pockets to fit the letters. Found a nice one on Etsy.
I use regular three-ring binders and document protector sleeves to store old family letters and other family history documents, and it works really well. Each page of the letter gets its own sleeve and the envelope also goes in a sleeve. The binders I’ve been using have a slot on the cover to insert a page, so mine have a page that says, for example: “Jones Family Letters, 1920-1950.” You could look for a higher end, nice looking binder and make the cover page for your friend. These are the document sleeves that I use, and they are way better than the big box store brands like Office Depot: Avery Clear Heavyweight Sheet Protectors, Non-Glare, Easy Load, 100 Document Protectors (74102) https://a.co/d/7H1gzTz