Deal Alert: Nordstrom’s Half-Yearly Sale Has Started!

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1. Anyone have a recommendation for a coat that is hooded but does not have a collar inside the hood, I.e the neck of the coat rolls into an attached hood?

   1. how dressy? patagonia micro puff has a continuous hood.

      1. well at the other end of the spectrum, there’s MaxMara Rialto coat.

         it’s got a few high-street cousins: from Uniqlo: https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/women/outerwear-and-blazers
         (they have quite a few lightweight wool coats with hoods, but thanks to the recent promos there are only a few left in small sizes)

         from Aritzia (I’ve had this coat since 2014, it wears exceptionally well and looks streamline & dressy even with a hood) : https://www.aritzia.com/us/en/product/pearce-wool-coat/69604.html?dwvar_69604_color=15030

2. Anyone else kicking themselves for not taking today off? All I want to be doing is cleaning my house and napping and recovering from a weekend of Christmas madness… Anyway, what’s your best coping strategy?

   1. YES! I am sitting in my office with an eye mask on, in the hopes of reducing the insane puffiness I am experiencing after all of the gluttony. Also planning to drink a lot of hot water with lemon and get through some “paperwork” at the office today.

   2. Same. I’m just being contented in the fact that hardly anyone else is here so I can catch up on a lot of smaller tasks.

   3. Yes. Planning a happy hour for an evening this week (leave work around 4:30) – if not today, then for sure Thursday!

   4. Ugh, yes. It wasn’t an option to take today off because my team has a deadline this week, but I’m not super happy to be in. I made it a self-declared casual attire day and bought a bagel on the way in to the office so everything feels a bit more relaxed today.

   5. I’m here but it’s so quiet and all I want to do is sleep.

      1. ditto. I wish I could just take a nap.

         1. People have finally started to trickle in, but I was the only one on my floor for a couple of hours. Could have taken off, but a mix of 1/1 closing and hitting hours has me struggling. I am happiest about the casual day until the end of the year policy.

      2. Same situation here except it’s been great because I have been able to work uninterrupted!

         1. Same, but… I don’t want to work at all.

            1. Oh, me either!

   6. Our office is full today. But we’re in a three people office ;)
      I’m here because a client wants something by Friday. And another client scheduled our monthly status meeting for this morning. Oh wells.

   7. I was supposed to be working today, but I unexpectedly got the day (and all foreseeable days) off because I’m furloughed. This is my first shutdown and it will be interesting to see how long it lasts

      1. I’m sorry, but it will be ok. I’m a 30 plus year fed and have been through this before. It will be ok. I do have a feeling this will be a long one.

   8. I’m at a new job and “behind” enough as it is on billable hours because I haven’t been getting consistent work this year. Oh well, not like I was going to go anywhere, and staying home is just being more accessible to my vacationing relatives’ harping on getting a boyfriend.

      Having said that, I’m languidly on this website staring deep into my coffee instead of working.

   9. I am the only one in my 3-person office this week. Figured out call forwarding and can technically work from home although I haven’t discussed it with my boss.

      So here I am trying to get work done so I can catch up on my billables, get a ton done and hopefully slip out a bit early every day this week?

      FWIW I don’t even celebrate anything this time of year & all i want to do is enjoy the ‘holidays’

3. Anyone else feeling let down by the holidays? I feel like I put so much effort into getting everyone the perfect gift, prepping the perfect meal, and generally doing nice things for other people. And then the big day comes and it seems like no one has put even a tiny amount of thought into doing anything for me. I know you should give without any expectation of reciprocation and I thought I did but… I’m feeling a little sad today. Anyone else in the same boat?

   1. I think it’s perfectly natural to feel that way. But it’s obviously not going to make you feel any better by wallowing in those feelings. It’s hard for most people to nail that perfect, thoughtful gift for everyone on their lists, and probably most people don’t even achieve that for just one on their list. It’s not personal. I would maybe focus on stories of others desperately in need who got to experience some holiday magic this year. Or just funny videos of kids’ reactions opening gifts.

   2. Not anymore. I used to be you, until I declared I wasn’t going to GAF a few years back. This year I told DH he was in charge of his family’s gifts. Half of them got gift cards and lotto tickets and booze bought at the gas station on the way to our gift exchange. The distant ones got an email gift card, nothing, and a package that will arrive well after Christmas. He didn’t get his 95 year old grandmother anything (I actually threw him a life preserver on this one and offered to order her flowers a couple days ago and he didn’t take me up on it until it was too late).

      His parents sort of passive aggressively hinted that they were disappointed to me, and I told them to take it up with their procrastinating son with zero guilt.

      I store bought our contribution to Christmas Eve dinner and plated it into foil. My grandmother had 0 gripes despite annual requirements that all food be homemade.

      Our holiday cards went out in time to the people I wanted to send them to. Ddh’s Like may or may not go out by New Years.

      1. This is a beautiful story.

         Not the heroine we deserve, but the one we need right now.

      2. Late to this but you go!!

   3. I think the day after a holiday is often bittersweet. My mother passed away in September and this year I definitely did the lions share of the cooking cleaning gift buying and wrapping and thinking and I need a massage. But I also did it because I wanted to and to make people I love happy and to nourish my soul. I didn’t do things that I don’t care about (lol you want lunch? Fend for yourself). But I know everyone in my family contributed in their own way and loves me. My sister did not a single dish but made sure to light all the candles. My dad has no idea what goes into making Christmas but he shopped from my lists and cleaned every single pot and pan. I think a bit of wistful fantasy is fine (personally I’m in the mood for a big romantic gesture on Christmas and no one else seems to want to get me one!) but if it’s more than that it’s time to look at how you are valued year round and what makes the holidays good and what is not worth it.

   4. I am sorry you are feeling that way. I am sure all your work turned out beautifully.

      I have experienced this in previous years and my advice is to learn to manage expectations. Especially if you have an SO or close friends who are making you feel this way. My SO likes Christmas, but I am obsessed. It was the warmest part of my childhood and I love doing all the things and all the cheer. So before any event or any part of the holiday, we touch base about the things I’d like to experience that day and why they’re important. So for example, I love Christmas morning waffles, so I told him that it was really important for me that I 1) eat Christmas morning waffles, 2) open our gifts and take a family pictures, 3) go on a long hike, and 4) eat lunch together. Sometimes it’s “I want to attend the 23rd showing of the Nutcracker.” It sounds simple, but vocalizing what you need/expect can go a really long way.

      I hope you feel cheery again soon.

   5. Are you me? Every holiday for the past few years has ended the same way–with me exhausted, broke, and covered in glitter, with zero reciprocation from anyone.

      1. Now is the time to fix that for next year!

      2. I’ve been in that boat before. The adults in my family draw names, and I’ve always tried to put a lot of thought into the gifts I give. At a certain point, I just realized that no matter what, if a certain cousin draws my name, I’m getting an amazon gift certificate for the amount we agree to spend on gifts (i.e., no effort at all). So, when I draw his name, I just pick up some local snack foods up to the amount we agreed as I’m getting more thoughtful gifts for people who appreciate them and call it done.

         I also try to note who seems to care and spend very very little mental energy on those who don’t. One thing that helped me was figuring out a formula for gifts for people I feel like I “have” to get something for but who don’t care. Mine is a bag with 3 local snack items that total about $15 (also the base for what I buy my cousin who puts in no effort). One of my favorite mentors always bought people like this a small box of Godiva chocolates and a small bag of Starbucks coffee (totals $15-20).

         1. Thank you for voicing what I feel. In the past, my grandmother and my father did an amazing job of making Christmas feel special. Curated stocking stuffers. Homemade cookies, music on the stereo, chocolate candies on the coffee table. My stepmother would rather not celebrate at her house again “Too much trouble.” I’ve been trying to step in to fill their shoes but it is hard when not reciprocated. The adults in my family draw names too and this year I didn’t get much at all. I’m trying not to be a baby about it. Unfortunately my reaction has been juvenile. One relative bought another relative a $200 designer tote, so I went online and bought the exact same one. Silly, I know.

            1. I’ve done this. Don’t worry about it. We can treat ourselves if others don’t.

            2. Yes and I’ve even gone so far as to buy awesome things for myself and wrap them up and put them under the tree.

   6. I get the feeling but I readjusted my expectations to pretty close to zero years ago and have been far less disappointed since. Also reframing that these people probably didn’t put no effort in but more just had no idea what to do. I mean how many threads over the past month were “what should I get my x” where, in many cases, x was a presumably close relative. Lots of good ideas were provided but many probably didn’t feel all that specifically thoughtful to the recipient because why would internet strangers know better than the actual relative.

      I’ve been trying to reset the adults in my family to gifts for children only or some other tradition in lieu of gifts but I still manage to get the “oh just something small because we couldn’t do nothing”. Um yes, older relative, you could. In fact just last week you lamented to me that you had too much stuff in your house and tried to make me take your cast offs home. Now you’re buying me random stuff just so I can have a gift I already said I didn’t need but I’ll smile and take it home and continue the cycle of having a house full of stuff I don’t want or need because that’s the tradition you prefer… (also helpful to keep a sense of humor about it).

      I swear I’m not a grinch but the gift giving for gift giving sake just seems to always leave more than a few people disappointed, whether it’s the stress of finding the perfect gift or being on the receiving end of something that doesn’t feel as thoughtful (although for my own sanity I assume good intentions).

   7. Felt this way for several years and changed the situation (and the way I feel about it) by basically doing the minimum to get through the season and get to New Year’s. I do minimal decorating, I have scaled way back on present-buying (got tired of buying presents for people – or their kids – who never bought presents for me/my kid), I quit sending Christmas cards, I don’t throw a Christmas party any more and I am selective about the ones I attend. For Christmas Eve I put a pot roast and veggies in the Crock-Pot (no more elaborate, multi-course meals that take hours to prep) and buy appetizers and desserts. Christmas Day we go to the movies. Additionally, we have gone on an out-of-town vacation the week before Christmas the last three years and therefore miss most of the lead-up-to-Christmas madness and pressure. As an added bonus, our vacation destinations are always nearly deserted! We (my husband, my son, and I) look at the trip as our Christmas present and we buy minimal other presents for each other, usually simple, inexpensive things we can use up or that we really need.

      One thing that has helped me a lot in life – not just during the holidays – is that I accepted that people make time for the things that are important to them. If it’s not important, they don’t make the time. If someone can’t buy me a gift, RSVP for my party (or attend it), send me a Christmas card – it’s because it’s not important to them to do it. So, is it important to me to go out of my way for them? Or is my time, energy and emotion better spent on other things? I spent the money I used to spend on unreciprocated family gifts this year on gifts for kids in foster care, who will probably appreciate what they got more than the spoiled members of my family who already have too much stuff (and complain about that all the time). Instead of putting up outdoor decorations, we walked the neighborhood with a trash bag cleaning up trash. For indoor decorations, I put up a fake pre-lit Christmas tree with just our mismatched heirloom ornaments on it, and then everyone’s Christmas stockings and that’s it – putting everything up takes an hour and taking it down takes 30 minutes (I took everything down and packed it up last night). The incredible stress I used to experience during the holidays was almost wholly self-inflicted. Since I have opted out of most holiday activities, my life has just gotten better and no one I thought would notice has seemed to notice (or care). My family members who used to rely on me to plan holiday gatherings – lo and behold, now that I don’t do the planning any more they have stepped up and either plan something for everyone or they do their own thing. Everyone is surviving just fine. For me, the cure to my plans not resulting in a picture-perfect Christmas for everyone was to change the way I pictured a perfect Christmas. To me, it’s me sitting with my closest loved ones (not necessarily my family!) drinking a glass of wine and enjoying myself without being completely frazzled and stressed out because I did everything for everyone and got nothing back.

      Maybe sit down and list out what you did for the holidays this year and give a point rating on how much enjoyment or satisfaction you got from it. Anything that you rate lower than 3 (or 4) points out of 5 – ask yourself, what would the real impact be if I didn’t do that next year? And then next year – just don’t do it. Remember that “no” is a complete answer.

      1. Thank you for this. My husband and I have been taking a similar approach to Christmas (do what brings you happiness and minimize the rest). I’d been worrying that we’re somehow cheating our daughter out of the holiday, but having read the posts about stress and disappointment, I think we’re doing OK.

         Thanks for taking the time to write and let us see how Christmas can be.

         1. Admittedly, it would have been hard to pull this off when our son was younger, but once he hit 10, we had some traditions set and some nice memories and felt like we could dial back on the stuff we, as a family, didn’t care about. The annual holiday open house was one of those things we had kept doing because we had always done it – my husband and I didn’t need to do it for career networking purposes; our family rarely or never came to it; and it certainly wasn’t something I enjoyed putting together or my husband and son enjoyed attending. So, out it went. We moved last year and after cleaning out and then donating or selling boxes and boxes of holiday gifts we had been given that we never used, my desire to accumulate more “stuff” is pretty much nil. When you give “stuff” you tend to get “stuff” in return, so we now give gift cards or certificates for restaurants, movies, experiences, etc. and get like in return. That’s taken a lot of pressure off the “we have to find the perfect thing for so-and-so that added soooo much stress to the holidays. We haven’t heard complaints, mostly just thanks for giving people something they can use.

            I think that if the people who just love Christmas and want to make it perfect and always have all the traditions and all the food and all the decorations, etc. want to put the work in to creating the perfect holiday – good for them. That’s not for me. I’d rather put my energy into other things. I never really liked Christmas, even as a kid (I’m totally a Halloween person) and part of the stress I experienced was having to pretend I was into something I didn’t like or care about. Getting rid of that self-imposed misery has been great.

      2. Some years ago I decided that everything about Christmas is optional. Tree is optional, gifts are optional, entertaining is optional, and so on. Last year we didn’t have a tree or gifts, this year we bought a big tree and did gifts. Last year I cooked a big holiday meal, this year we left town and ate in a restaurant.

         When everything is optional I can feel great about what I decide to do, and let the rest go. I highly recommend this approach!

   8. I’m really bad at annual gift-giving: bday, Christmas, anniversaries, etc. It feels exhausting to have to think about what to get for a bunch of people year after year. So my “thoughtful” gifts come in the form of souvenirs from my travels. If I see something that reminds me of so and so, I’ll bring it back for them. So no, they don’t get gifts on designated dates but they’ll still know that I (randomly) care.

   9. A thing that has helped me this year is being really arbitrary, and giving myself many years for it to even out? Like, Kiddo wanted a particular thing, I knew I could knock it out of the park, so I focused on that. Husband got me way better gifts than I got him, but this is our tenth or eleventh Xmas together, so whatever, it evens out over time. And part of my gift to him was making Kiddo’s amazing gift, right? I didn’t get anything for a swath of my family, some of whom got me stuff. But like, other years I’ve given them awesome gifts sometimes, so whatever. And I’ve been sewing, so I made some really amazing things for my nieces, and I’m not even worrying about their parents. Some of my colleagues get me/Kiddo gifts and in past years I’ve been frantic to reciprocate. but this year I’m taking it like… assuming they’re giving because it’s fun to give gifts, and not because they expect reciprocation. I brought store-bought cookies (in the box) to multiple parties, because they’re delicious and I’ve been sick so whatever, that’s a good, safe choice. But then I went all out on a perfect white elephant gift, and felt awesome because people fought over it! But if I’d focused on whether I felt like my white elephant take-home was equally good, I’d’ve probably felt less awesome. Anyway, yeah, that’s what I’ve been doing: focusing on the gifts I truly want to give, and then taking joy in being awesome at gift-giving, and assuming that people who give me/my family gifts are doing the same thing.

   10. I used to feel this way. One thing that nobody has mentioned is that I have come to terms with the fact that I like December and the holiday season more than I enjoy the day-of. Honestly, it’s always been this way, even when I was a kid. This year, I decided to focus on the whole season, spread out any celebrations, and lower my expectations for day-of. Christmas Eve and Christmas were a bit of a sh*t show, but it is what it is. We’ve had a good month.

       1. I like this thought! Today, with my husband and I kinda switching off amusing the kid to let the other laze around/get stuff done… today has been fun. And the 24th, setting up her present while she was at school and basking in that bubbly excitement… that was fun too. This coming weekend, with visits to old friends and cousins, that has potential to be great. (And I’m even kinda looking forward to the next two days in the office, where it will be *quiet* and i’ll be able to check a million boring things off my list.)

4. Question for the Hive: I had some damage to my car that was self-inflicted – badly scraped/dented the door and panel behind the passenger side wheel on a low stone wall. It is still drivable. I took it into a body shop to get a repair estimate. They got back to me a few days later saying it would be $10,000 to fix. That is way over what I was expected, although I knew it would not be cheap given the damage to multiple panels. When I said I wanted to take it elsewhere for another opinion, they told me I owed them $1000 for completing the assessment. Is this normal/reasonable?

   1. Yikes! I’ve never been charged for an estimate for my car before, and $1,000 for it seems really steep. Googling around, it looks like some body shops do charge for estimates, but you should be able to apply the estimate cost to the work (and it shouldn’t be that expensive). It can’t have taken them more than an hour or two to assess the damage, and they didn’t have to perform any actual work on it, so I don’t think they’d be justified in charging you more than the cost of the mechanic’s time to look at your car. I’d ask for an itemized bill, and let them know you’re disappointed and will be giving them a very honest review online on Google and Yelp, as well as contacting the BBB. They really should have been up front in letting you know they charged for an estimate.

   2. No, at least not in my experience. And even if that’s their policy, they should have been up front with you about how much it would cost to get the assessment.

   3. They want $1,000 to give you a quote and they didn’t fix anything? Nope, not normal. Did you sign anything saying that you would pay them even if you didn’t use them?

   4. No absolutely not. If they were going to charge you for an assessment then they should have made that clear up front. And even then it would be a pretty minimal charge. I’ve never heard of $1k for an assessment. Tell them no and report them to the better business bureau. If they try to collect from you then go to the AG’s consumer protection division.

   5. Very not normal. What did you sign when you dropped it off? Did they give you an estimate for the assessment?

   6. Absolutely not. If they were going to charge for the estimate, that should have been presented to you ahead of time so that you could have made the decision then. Most states require car repair service providers to provide you an estimate of work, which you then must sign before they do anything. While I don’t know where you are or what your state law is, I can’t imagine there is an exception to this type of law for estimates. I have never in my life been charged a fee for an estimate on a repair. They aren’t allowed to even run a computer diagnostic in some states without authorization.

   7. They are not amiss in asking for a payment to inspect your car. They are however insane to think that $1000 is a fair amount for an estimate of damage. Tbh unless you were told or given something in writing that you owe for the inspection (most places have a policy of “inspection is X amount but will be put towards your repairs if you decide to work with us”) I wouldn’t pay them a dime. A deep engine inspection for a malfunctioning car is usually 50 o 250, why would a visual inspection of body work cost a grand? Just tell them you had no agreement on the cost and take your car elsewhere. Especially since you just said you want a second opinion and could still get the work done by them – you don’t want to work with these dishonest gits.

   8. Not normal, and totally unreasonable if they didn’t make it very clear upfront. Can you just say no? Are they going to send you a bill?

   9. NAL…

      We can’t know that… the only way to know that is to look at all of the paperwork you signed when you allowed them to access your car and any signage in the space you were in when you gave them permission to provide you with an estimate.

      If there is something listed that says that $1k is their fee for providing an estimate, you’re likely out of luck. If nothing like that exists, ask them to show you where you agreed to that and, if they cannot show that, it doesn’t seem they can require anything.

      1. I am a lawyer and I would challenge the legality of any signage or paperwork requiring 1000 for an estimate, particularly if the op was unaware of the same prior to the estimate.

   10. I grew up in the auto repair business (my dad was a mechanic for the better part of 50 years and I spent a lot of time in his shop.) I have never — let me repeat that – NEVER – heard of anyone charging to give an estimate, let alone a charge of $1000. Holy cr@p that is ridiculous!!!!!

       Even the cost of the repair sounds ridiculous to me, $10,000? Was there frame damage? Usually with the door panel, there’s not much beyond sheet metal to repair. Behind the passenger door, there might be frame damage and that can get pricy, but $10,000 pricy? I’d definitely want a second opinion on that one. I had somebody rear-end my SUV a year and a half ago and all the damage (exhaust, liftgate, taillight, gas cap door, rear quarter panel, rear bumper, bumper cover, and supports under the bumper, factory mudflap, all paint) did not cost $10k. Granted, it was an older SUV, but still, that was a lot of damage. Even if they have to replace panels on your car, $10k is a lot of damn money.

       Unless you signed something that said you’d pay the $1000 for the estimate (and in that case, holy sh!t do they have themselves a pair thinking they can ask that!) I’d tell them to pound sand and go elsewhere. NOBODY is that good of a body man. Not even the best body man my dad would recommend (and he wouldn’t charge for an estimate, would do the work for far less than $10,000, and would offer you a beer out of his soda machine while he looked over your car. Oh, and he’d tell you to have a seat and not mind the dog and probably tell you a few less than clean but funnier than h3ll jokes, too. But your car would be done usually ahead of schedule and absolutely perfect. It’s how we roll ’round here.)

       1. Grew up with dad working in salvage yard and recently had a car totaled. There was frame damage, air bags deployed, other driver flipped over, etc., and the approx. cost to “repair” my mid-sized SUV was a little over 10k. They’re just trying to take advantage of you.

          I know they didn’t do any repairs, but my state has laws regarding mechanics needing to check in before the perform any repairs over X amount (it’s a really low amount), so I would hope your state has some sort of similar protections. This is not normal, at all, ever.

       2. On balance, I rear ended someone at a crawl speed and while they had $500 in bumper damage, mine was $17k. My car was a new bmw.

5. Need some real estate advice. We had to move my mom into assisted living in November and listed her house Nov. 21. We did this knowing this is real estate’s “slow season” and there wouldn’t be much of a chance it would sell over the holidays. (Our local real estate market is pretty balanced – not as strong of a seller’s market as other places.) There have been a few showings and inquiries but not much activity. We did a price reduction on the house at the real estate agent’s urging, on Dec. 15. Supposedly that was supposed to “jump start” interest, but (as I thought) we have seen very little interest, in the form of showings, since then. Because, hello, it’s Christmastime! I realize not everyone celebrates Christmas but my experience in my professional life is that people’s minds are not really on business right now.
   The real estate agent is pressuring us to drop the price again. My brother and I feel like we should wait until maybe mid-January to drop it, to give people time to come through the holidays and get back out home shopping. The Realtor is wrapped around the idea that the house has now been on the market 37 days and is going to look like “damaged goods”…but to me, when most of those 37 days were in late November through Christmas, it’s understandable why it didn’t sell. Money isn’t an issue (house is paid off and we prepaid yearly taxes and insurance) but we are getting worried about maintaining the home insurance now that the home is vacant (the insurance company knows the house isn’t occupied). Any tips/advice from folks who have been there? Should we drop the price again (we are already $15k under neighborhood comps) or wait it out?

   1. Pull it from the market and relist again in mid to late January.

      1. Agree.

   2. Wait it out, or take it off the market and put it back on in late January. According to my real estate agent, sales start to pick up again around Super Bowl weekend.

   3. I’d get a different realtor, delist and relist in late january. Nothing gets sold around the holidays and for your realtor to be pressuring you to drop price again seems like a bad strategy.

      1. +1

      2. +1

      3. Agreed. I’d raise the price to match the comps & not lower it till mid February at the earliest. Your realtor is not looking out for you & I’d get a new one as soon as possible (when the contract ends). As far as the home being empty- I would not he too concerned unless it’s not in a good neighborhood or it’s too far away for someone to check on it/turn lights off & on, remove flyers etc.

         1. Also- my educated guesses (never been in this exact situation)- insurance company may move you to a Landlord type policy, I believe only about 20% more. Also you can start the DOM over if you end up moving to a new realtor. And – I’ve never raised the price on a house I was selling- but I would imagine you could unless you are now bound to the current asking price by the most recent signed agreement between you & the realtor.

      4. Yep.

   4. Can you get a second opinion from a different realtor? I think you’re right that nothing gets sold between Thanksgiving and New Years and dropping the price significantly just because it didn’t sell immediately during that window doesn’t seem that wise. I always thought the “damaged goods” thing was for houses that didn’t sell immediately in a seller’s market. I’m in more of a buyer’s market and 30-60 DOM is probably average.

   5. Thanks for all the tips/advice. I think we will go ahead and pull it down after New Year’s (only 6 days away) and relist at the very end of January. I am a little frustrated because this Realtor came very highly recommended, but has done very little marketing and her whole theory of selling houses seems to be “drop the price until you get an offer.” My mom is not hurting for money at this point but who knows how long she’ll have to be in assisted living, and I don’t want to sell the house at “fire sale” prices just because it didn’t sell in December – when no one is shopping for houses.

6. Can anyone comment on what is a “reasonable” amount to pay for Hamilton tickets? I’d expected to get tickets in the $200-300 range but I was pretty surprised to see decent tickets starting around $500 ea through Ticketmaster, etc. All of these people can’t really be spending that kind of cash to see this show? Right?

   1. It’s crazy, but that does seem to be the reality. In my city it’s cheaper to fly to Europe (round trip in the mid $300s) and get tickets there (~$125) than to see it here. I’ve been holding off because of the price, but I do wonder how all my friends have accepted that price.

   2. For NYC or one of the other cities? I paid about $200 per ticket for balcony seats in NYC, and that was face value (get on their mailing list and you’ll get email notifications when they release a new block of tickets). If you wanted orchestra level near the front, I do think face value was about $400. The traveling version came to our city a few weeks ago–it was part of our season tickets (which are surprisingly cheap if you consider them on a per-show basis), but I think they were going for anywhere between 125-400 face value depending on the seat. I think there are people paying $500 to see it. I also think they’re slightly insane or just have a ton of money such that $500 is really nothing to them. I really love Hamilton, but I don’t think any show is worth that. If you’re ok with balcony seats (and really, for the NY show, they’re fine. It’s not a large theater), just stalk the mailing list for newly released blocks. And be ok going on a random day in the middle of the week. Also try the lottery if you’re ok with last minute plans (through the Hamilton app or their website)

   3. What city? In Chicago you can get them for $200 or so. I wouldn’t pay more than face value at this point, the show is everywhere now.

   4. That’s how much people pay, yes. Mine were $475 and thankfully bought by an ex boyfriend

   5. I paid about $250 each in Chicago one year ago. Upper balcony but pretty decent seats.

   6. I paid $75 in CLT. I think those were the cheapest seats, but they were just fine, honestly. The touring version will be in pretty much every city eventually, so if you just want to see it somewhere in some seat on some day, I can’t imagine you have to pay more than $200. It’s up to you whether it’s worth paying more for better seats or if you want to see it in a certain place at a certain time, but it’s certainly possible to get much cheaper tickets.

   7. Thanks, all. I was looking at NYC tickets. I think it’d be cheaper to fly to Chicago to see it! It hasn’t come to my city yet but maybe I’ll wait until it does….

      1. consider flying to Chicago if that’s the case! I know several folks who have done so.

      2. I paid $750 face value for third-row orchestra tickets in NYC. They’re very expensive.

         So yeah, probably cheaper to fly to Chicago.

      3. Decent hotels in central Chicago run about $250+ night. I don’t believe it’s possible flying to Chicago would be cheaper unless you have friends to crash with in Chicago, and even then I think the flights would negate any savings.

   8. Depends when you are getting them for and the city. We got super awesome tickets in Chicago for around $300/each, but 1) waited until a new block of tickets was released and 2) bought roughly six/seven months out to get the best bang for our buck.

      If you’re going in the next few weeks, yes, regardless of city.

   9. I paid $150 for seats at the absolute back of the orchestra in Seattle, and I bought them off StubHub the day they were available (about 6 months before the show). Worth it, and I’d probably pay up to about $250 (but it was just me, gets real expensive with a second person).

   10. In SF for 2019, Hamilton tix range from $100 (nosebleed 2nd tier), $250 (1st tier), $600 (orchestra) exclusive of fees. We got a block of 4 in the nosebleed tier in July (!) and I will just bring along my opera glasses.

   11. I did not want to pay more than face value and didn’t trust resale, even through Ticketmaster, so I waited until I could purchase tickets directly at the exact moment when they were released for purchase (NYC). I think it took three tries and over a year of waiting, and even then all I was able to get was side orchestra for a weekday matinee for $285 a ticket.

7. I’m spending a week in my hometown to burn up PTO, so I was going to meet up with some girlfriends from college to catch up. However, now that we’re getting closer to meeting up I’m getting super anxious about what I’m going to talk about. They’re married with babies, I’m single and not dating anyone. They’re in established careers, I’m in a receptionist role with not much growth opportunity. I’ve really struggled for the past 5 years post-college and I don’t want to bring down the mood…but I really don’t have anything interesting happening in my life and frankly am not very happy with my life.

   What do we talk about?!

   1. Any fun trips you’ve taken recently or have planned for 2019 you can talk about? Any new hobbies? Even fun new things you’ve been cooking or trying to teach yourself? When in doubt, just ask lots of questions and act super interested in their lives and you’ll be fine!

   2. I have a friend who flat out avoids me for these reasons and I really really miss her friendship! I would be so happy to get to catch up with her but I know she feels some of this too. I’m sure your friends would be glad to hear about any travels you have planned, what new recipes you’ve tried, even your favorite Netflix series. Anything that you find interesting really. Ask them about their kids and what things they expected or what surprised them, what is challenging to them,
      and then tell them about your life! I love hearing about what online dating is like now and some old friends love hearing about the challenges of being married etc etc. you have something to bring to the table! When I’m with old college friends we love talking about old times and people too. Plus it may be really uplifting for you. They just might surprise you too – keep an open mind.

   3. No advice, except they want to hang out with their friend and not a networking contact. They are there for you.

      What is your degree in, what would you like to do, where are you located, and how else can the women here help point you in the right direction with your career?

8. WWYD. For the past,oh, 7-10 years, we’ve (I’ve) gotten DH’s half sister’s kids Christmas presents. We never see them and always send them down. Once, we visited DH’s parents near Christmas and did a live gift exchange and dh’s half sis was there and brought us a gift (this was before we had kids).

   The kids are 3,10 and 14. They’ve never once said thank you or really even acknowledged the gifts (like, no text from dh’s Half sis saying “thx for the presents and merry Christmas!”) We never get gifts for our kids (5,3,1). At this point I just send the older ones a book and target gift cards. The younger one gets a toy. SIL gets some kind of coffee or beauty product.

   Do we just stop? I have better things to drop $100 on each year, but also, we are wealthy and they are not. It’s not like we are going without. Scaling back (sending $20 instead of $40 gift cards?) or only sending a book? Send just a Christmas card? Ask directly?

   I asked DH and he said he doesn’t care (he and his half sis didn’t grow up together and aren’t close).

   1. Yes, it sounds like it’s time to stop. It sounds like neither he or the sister have any interest in exchanging presents with each other. If you really want to send something, maybe send a tin of homemade cookies for the family or something with a lot less pressure around it.

      1. Yes, just stop. I used to receive gifts like these from relatives, and even when I was younger, I thought they were just odd. My mom was from California, and we grew up in the SEUS, so none of her siblings were nearby. We saw my aunts and uncles on that side once a year– at most. I was also the only girl, so no one really knew what to get me. I remember getting things like random dolls from my aunt when I was into “American Girl Dolls” only, etc. I am pretty sure I ended up donating everything she gave me. She just stopped sending gifts one year, and I honestly don’t think I noticed until at least 5 years later.

   2. I was on the receiving end of these and while I always said thank you, I feel like the nicest gifts I got in childhood were from my “wealthy” relatives and they were my favorite gifts, even if we never saw them. I think it’s a nice gesture to continue if you think the kids may not get anything else that compares.

      1. Ugh, I was all set to stop after the first two replies. But these kids don’t have a father in the picture and don’t have a lot of money. They live with their grandma (FIL’s first wife). They drove FIL’s hand me down 10 year old car.

         Its not like they get nothing- but DH’s parents (their grandfather) and DH’s mom get them their only nice gifts. And ours are usually opened when they open those gifts (my MIL reports back- she thinks the whole thing is terribly rude but it’s not her place to say anything anything).

         1. I’d go ahead and stop, and not let the difference in money make this a requirement for you. If you want, send a gift card at random times. Or contribute to a savings account for them that you surprise them with at high school graduation. Or give DH’s mom a fund to take them shopping with. But I’d stop the dutiful and difficult gift-giving that apparently isn’t meaningful to DH or to his sister.

            I grew up without a lot of money, I had no wealthy relatives making up the difference, I STILL drive a 10-year-old car, and I’m just fine. Promise.

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