Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Printed Notch-Collar Belted A-Line Midi Dress
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
This is the crisp, cotton shirtdress of my dreams. I already have two black-and-white floral dresses hanging in my closet right now, but I’m very tempted to pull the trigger on this number from Donna Karan New York.
The oversized print is so elegant, and the shape is just perfect. And even better, it comes with a real belt, not a sad strip of fabric — and pockets! Add some gold jewelry and fabulous shoes and you’re all set to go.
The dress is $169 at Dillard’s and comes in 0-14 and 14W-24W.
As of 2025, some other work dresses with pockets include M.M.LaFleur, J.Crew, Lands' End, Elie Tahari, and Boden… Some of our latest favorites are below! If you're on a budget, Quince has a great basic, this business casual Amazon dress has pockets, and Amazon seller VFShow has a number of dresses with pockets! Both Amazon and Etsy make it pretty easy to find dresses with pockets, as well.
Sales of note for 5/14/25:
- Nordstrom Rack – Looking for a deal on a Dyson hairdryer? The Rack has several refurbished ones for $199-$240 (instead of $400+) — but they're final sale only.
- Ann Taylor – Suit Yourself! 30% off suiting (ends 5/16) + 25% off your full price purchase (ends 5/18) + extra 60% off sale (ends 5/14)
- Talbots – 40% off all markdowns (ends 5/18) + 30% off dresses, skirts, accessories, and shoes
- Nordstrom – Beauty Deals up to 25% off (ends 5/17)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off
- Boden – 10% off new women's styles with code + sale up to 50% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything + extra 60% off sale + $1 shipping on all orders
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off long-weekend styles + 50% off select swim and coverups
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 50% off clearance + extra 15% off $100+ + extra 20% off $125+
- M.M.LaFleur – Lots of twill suiting on sale! Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
Lawyers, help me find some pro bono! My state has a program and it offers family law only. I do not want to learn family law. My firm is too small to have a formal program, we do not have any required hours. I want real legal work not bar association service or board service. Caveats- no family, no criminal, I have not litigated or even filed an appearance since I was a first year, my day to day is analyzing esoteric funding structures, my state bar has no suggestions, other than the ABA website which frankly overwhelms me. I would love to do 5-10 hours/month but am not even sure where to get restarted. I am willing to learn something new as long as malpractice insurance covers it, I do not have a specific cause or passion I just want a program with a list that I can start chugging away!
I am not a lawyer, but have you tried your local/state organization for nonprofits (our state has the Center for Nonprofits). They may be a source of connections for orgs and boards that need legal assistance both urgent and mundane.
Would you be interested in landlord tenant issues? This is state dependent but you could help protect some folks facing renovictions and other shady landlord doings.
I’ve worked with this org (https://www.vetsprobono.org/volunteer-info/) to do appeals of denials of veterans’ benefit claims. They provide a lot of training as well. I believe you can be licensed in any US state to practice before the CAVC, and most of the time the work is just briefing and some telephone conferences, so you could do it from outside DC.
I’m signed up with one of the federal district court where I’m admitted, and they email a list of pro bono opps once a month. They’re mostly criminal but there are some civil cases too (which is also my preference), and they specify whether each potential engagement is time-limited or more long-term. This is SDNY, in case that would help you, but I wouldn’t be surprised if others do the same.
I have volunteered with Kids in Need of Defense (KIND), and it’s been a truly rewarding experience. Work load fluctuates, but I average 20-30 hours annually. I’m covered by their malpractice insurance, and it’s real legal work.
What state are you in? If you are in PA, check out Philly VIP. You do not need to be in Philly to volunteer but you do need to be PA barred.
We The Action can be a useful resource for pro bono opportunities, too
In my area, Catholic Charities hosts intake and office hours for pro bono immigration work. I have no doubt they are overwhelmed right now. My husband is a very active pro bono volunteer and is very much not Catholic but really enjoys the work and structure they provide.
It would be helpful to know what jurisdiction you’re in (or are licensed in). In Georgia, Pro Bono Partnership is a great organization that offers pro bono legal services to qualifying non-profits, and volunteering with them would definitely get you the kind of bite-size project you’re contemplating. But I would guess there are comparable organizations across the country.
I agree that if you share your state, I would imagine you’d get some better recommendations. It sounds like estate planning might be a good match for you, given your interests. I have helped at various clinics in this area over the years. For example, in Austin, where I am, we have an organization called CANLAW, which helps folks who have cancer with estate planning pro bono. I would imagine you could find some clinics in your area where you can volunteer your time. That seems like a very easy point of entry to me.
I can’t with shirtdresses like these. Too much volume and the skirt hits at a really unflattering place – it is too close to my Mrs. MacAfee costume when I did Bye Bye Birdie in middle school!
Same. I tried and failed w this type of thing too often. I’ll stick my stretch sheath dresses like the aged millennial that I am.
An Eli Tahari ad chasing me on this page did just sell me a dress, though. And I’m not proud of that.
It adds bulk where I just don’t need it. Pass.
Also an aged millennial but I have the opposite take. This silhouette is my dream dress and I am stocking up while they are ubiquitous. No more confused rufflepuffs, no more awkward sheaths that cut my chubby legs at the most unflattering spot and make me look like a Lego Matron, and if I opt for linen there is no more ironing.
+1
I think it’s gorgeous but my first thought was, “You’d have to be 5’10” to pull it off.” So, no.
The queens of Belgium and The Netherlands must be really tall because they rock looks like this on the regular.
Money helps to pull off a lot of looks.
The queen of Netherlands is indeed 5’10” (and the Dutch are the tallest people in the world). This is decidedly not a look that works on 5’3” me, though.
Interestingly, she’s not Dutch. But she has the best name and it really seems to suit her: Maxima.
LIthuanians are, on average, taller than the Dutch.
I’m 5’11” and can confirm that the Netherlands/Scandy areas/Baltics are where clothes fit me best.
I’m 5’10” and a size 16. I am tempted to order!
I agree. Pretty in theory, but frumpy and way too much volume in practice for my tastes.
Hate the midi dress trend.
Hate the trend, too. I know folks on this board are heavily pushing it. But I have to say it just lacks gravitas in the way a lot of other business wear. I tried some options for speaking events, but I just can’t get behind it. It feels too ladies who lunch versus boardroom to me. Nice for a shower or graduation or dinner maybe.
Not all of us work in boardrooms, and everyone does things other than work!
I think shirtdresses only work for casual in-office days or for admin staff. They are too severe for social events and not structured enough for serious business wear. For me it’s a moot point because they look terrible on me anyway.
You have pinpointed why I’ve never been able to make these work. It’s this no-man’s land of formality.
I would not characterize this as “casual,” but then I work in an office where casual means jeans. For business casual this dress would be perfect.
It would also be flattering on me. this is a good shape for my shape and I hate my knees so like the longer length. I have a similar one from BR in black linen from last season that is a workhorse.
Ahhh! I love these kinds of dresses. The midi length looks good on me, and I love the shape. They’re also so comfortable. I get lots of compliments in dresses like this, too! (And I’m only 5’4! And not skinny!)
I like it too – but the thought of ironing all that skirt gives me hives.
Same, I am 5’10” and this style is my perfect work dress. I have and wear these all summer.
Yeah, I’m another commentor that has the build where this kind of dress looks great on me. And I love the freedom of movement a full skirts gives! But I totally get how it isn’t flattering on everyone.
Me, too! I am a 5’6″ size 14 pear; these are wardrobe magic for me. I wear them in the boardroom where they elicit compliments from my fashion-forward C-suite colleagues, too.
I don’t look good in this kind of thing, and i think it is primarily because I am both short-waisted and busty. Most of my torso is boob. And I don’t have a tiny waist. I really look best in sheath dresses and pencil skirts, and I cannot wear pants with a pleated waist.
I want to like this dress, but there are some dealbreakers for me. I love a large, high-contrast print, but wish the light color were true white. The skirt has a nice shape and could be hemmed to hit the right point, although I’ll note that it will likely be an expensive hem because of the fullness of the skirt. For me, the biggest issue is the sleeves. They’re puffy – not great on my already broad, square shoulders – and somehow too long or too short. The sleeves would not be easy to alter, so you have to like how they hit on you.
I think it would look a lot nicer with a poofy crinoline, 1950’s style. Who wants ot help me bring those back?
Yeah, I can picture Vera-Ellen wearing this with crinolines.
Please send good vibes to me today for an interview! It is actually a phone interview with the recruiter, but this is an important step towards a huge role for me. I’m a Fed trying to get out, and I’m very excited about this role (huge salary bump, too). I’m praying the recruiter pushes me forward to an interview with the hiring team. I have had a recruiter interview with this company before and the recruiter did ask experience/technical questions beyond the admin items a recruiter would typically cover, so I’m taking this call very seriously! Please send all the good vibes, please!
Good vibes!
Good vibes!!!
Sending all the good vibes! You got this!!
Vibes! You’re going to do great!
Sending good vibes! You got this!
Good luck!!
VIBES!!!
You can do this~ ….they called you !
I have a pretty bad bunion, but would love to wear 2 or 3″ heels to an upcoming event. I can handle a square toed pump (think the Dylan Pump from Nine West), but I’m really striking out at finding this shape of heel anywhere but the Dylan Pump (which doesn’t come in my size or desired color).
Two questions — is this style of heel totally outdated? Based on how few shoe profiles I can find, I’m guessing this might be the case. If yes, is there another more current style of heel that would accommodate a bunion? Open toe typically doesn’t work for me (too much movement for my foot), but a wedge with a closed toe might.
99.99% of the time, I’m in very practical, comfortable shoes, but would like to make an exception for this one particular evening.
I also have bunions and for height I try:
– WIDE widths first and foremost (you’ll have to trial and error which brands work)
– Platforms. With platform sandals, sometimes the bunion peeks out just a tad in between the straps, which is fine for me since it makes it more comfortable. Depends on the strap construction. The platform also puts less pressure on the bunion, IMO.
I find that the block heels are easier for me to walk in.
I think in general, that style of heel is going to be hard to find right now. You might try a T-bar or a slingback.
Take a look at the Rockport Xena and the Lifestride Tia on Zappos.
I think its been asked on this board before if anyone has bought Calla shoes. I bought a pair of their heels (white pointed toe with a sparkle strap) for my wedding. All their shoes are built with extra room specifically for bunions and they’re specific about what severity and width work for what shoes. They’re more expensive and come from the UK so shipping might not make it for your event, but maybe try them in the future!
I know nothing about pop culture. Is a Tate McRae concert appropriate for a middle schooler? I know it’s subjective, but where does she fall on the spectrum of pop artists? I did some google searching and don’t see anything wildly off putting.
I would be taking my 12 y/o and potentially a friend.
Culture Study podcast with Ann Helen Petersen just did a podcast on this. I skipped it because I don’t care enough, but it might be informative to you!
I saw Britney Spears when I was 7 and I promise there was no harm done.
It would not be my choice for a pair of 12yos. Her artistic style is a very “produced by the se*ual fantasies of adult men from the early 2000s recording industry” vibe. On the spectrum of pop stars, she’s basically a fresh Nicole Scherzinger. A listen of some of her chart toppers will give you the best briefing. Maybe start with Diet Pepsi and Sports Car to decide.
Diet Pepsi is Addison Rae, not Tate McRae.
12 is old enough for anything a pop star would do, imo. At that age my parents didn’t censor content at all except violence.
Mine isn’t in the tween years yet, but Tate McRae is pretty harmless in the grand scheme of things. I’d take the kids and be glad they actually want to go to a concert with me. I think there’s something to be said for erring in favor of keeping an open mind and supporting your kids’ interests rather than shutting down anything that is potentially objectionable. If you show her that you’re clutching your pearls about a concert then how will she talk to you about things that are actually hard and controversial?
Thanks! I agree. She wanted to go to Olivia Rodrigo for her 11th bday and I said no, but it was half because I didn’t want to make that call for another family and she wanted to bring a friend. I offered to take her myself and she picked something different.
I thought Tate was pretty harmless based on my knowledge for the hits and some quick google but wanted to make sure!
Olivia is significantly less male gaze coded than Tate. I think of Tate’s music as targeting college students and Olivia as targeting tweens/teens.
Why wouldn’t you just ask the other kid’s family how they felt about Olivia? It’s weird to make the call for them. FWIW I know tons of 10-12 year olds who went to Olivia in large groups. I think objecting to it is very much a minority opinion (which is fine if they object, but not your duty to worry on their behalf).
OP here- it isn’t worth getting into it, but the point is she’s a year older and the friend she’d want to invite is different and the concert is at a different venue and different time.
Olivia Rodrigo is OK, but she is already getting political, which may be off-putting to you if you don’t agree with her position on her issues. Personally, a 12 year old can watch alot of their stuff on YouTube and that costs nothing. Ferrying 2 kids to a concert will cost a bundle and you’ll wind up with sore ear-drums if you don’t bring ear plugs. If you have to bring them there, you will survive, but it’s not my cup of tea.
Taking a 12-year-old to a live concert by one of their favorite artists is 1,000,000% worth the hassle just for the fun of witnessing their excitement. It’s possibly even more exciting than taking a little kid to Disneyland. Take earplugs for everyone; I wear Loop.
I am taking my 18-year-old college kid to see her favorite artist this summer and I am honored that she wants to share the experience with me. It’s just a bonus that I happen to think the artist is pretty good and will probably actually enjoy it. I might even buy a t-shirt.
You would refuse to do something super fun with your kid because it’s “not your cup of tea”? I mean, pregnancy and labor and daycare drop offs and diapers aren’t anyone’s cup of tea but you do it because kids. Of all the things parents go through for their kids, it’s baffling to me that people would turn down experiences that their kids would remember for the rest of their lives because it’s a little inconvenient.
I’m turning a milestone birthday this year when your body isn’t new and can show signs of serious breakage. I have a physical scheduled with all of the bloodwork. I’ve had a mammogram, colonoscopy, and my shingles shots. For test results, I had always thought you could stand down a bit if you just had a normal blood pressure and weight. But talk to me about blood sugars, kidney function and all that. Dialysis scares the crap out of me and my understanding is that we are all likely in stage 2 CKD but no one tells us that; you only really find out you were on the wrong path when things are significantly worse (and the clean family bill of health I thought I had broke down once my parents outlived the prior pre-statin generation but then developed serious problems in their late 70s and 80s).
Huh? Please don’t live life as if you have kidney disease if you don’t. Dialysis shouldn’t even be in your daily vocab. My friend does that with diabetes and it’s very weird.
Agreed. It’s fully unhinged.
Ramp down your sugar intake and you should be good. (overly simplistic, I know, but in case the obvious needed saying, I’m here to say it.)
Talk to your doctor about your anxiety cause this is insane.
Exercise! That is something you can control. There is a lot that you can’t. Having serious health problems in your late 70s and 80s is normal aging, IMHO, but I know it is hard to watch and to realize that it is likely your future at some point too. I’m 48 and my dad turns 80 this weekend, and I am facing a lot of these fears myself.
FWIW, the only kidney issues in my family are my younger brother’s; he has developed autoimmune-based kidney disease and is basically relying on hope that new drugs are developed in the next few years to prevent him from needing dialysis. Nothing else as worked except steroids, and he’s taken them for as long as he safely can. His weight, blood pressure, and diet are good; he’s just unlucky.
My dad went the convenience foods route after my mom died because his arthritis made it hard for him to learn to chop and cook. Now he has stage 3B CKD and is in senior living largely to get better meals. His CKD is stable now. Dialysis would have wrecked him. He is hard of hearing, so for all I know, his doctor told him but he couldn’t hear or didn’t understand how CKD works.
Exercise and stretch, don’t eat processed foods, limit red meat and sugar, wear sunscreen. When you eat carbs pair them with protein and fiber. Keep a regular sleep schedule. That’s all you can do unless your doctor tells you to make a specific change.
More sleep, less sugars, more non-ultraprocessed food, 7-8000 steps per day, regular flossing, sunscreen… are some fairly non-controversial ways to set yourself up for success.
What is your source that we all have chronic kidney disease without knowing?
I do feel like there’s some element of health anxiety going on, but if you have specific concerns, you should ask your doctor. I do have health anxiety and sometimes feel silly asking my doctor about my fears, but it helps a lot!
It sounds like you’re hoping for an A1C and a comprehensive metabolic panel? I don’t actually know if those are standard work up for people with absolutely no symptoms or medical diagnoses, but they’re part of every annual physical for me.
IDK but I am bombarded with info from MyChart and don’t know what 80% of it means.
Yeah…. it’s kinda terrible now that MyChart releases all of the results to us without explanations. And if your doctors are like my doctors, no one will explain them unless I make a follow-up appointment.
Why are you borrowing trouble? Get your blood work done and go from there.
I get it. You can tell yourself nothing’s wrong if you don’t KNOW it’s wrong. But you can’t nip something in the bud early if you don’t check.
Do you have a regular PCP or do you doctor-shop? A competent PCP who sees you on a normal schedule should be able to look at your history and describe your risks, give you guidance on what is normal, what constitutes cause for concern, and what you can do to minimize or mitigate future issues. It sounds like you have fears based on traumatic experience but not necessarily on sound logic or science, and learning to separate those would be beneficial to your overall wellbeing.
Simple: your understanding that we are all going to end up with kidney failure is wrong.
Run the tests, get the results, let your doctor take the lead on telling you what the results mean.
I’d start with some standard bloodwork:
– Fasting glucose & HbA1c
– Lipid profile (LDL/HDL/total cholesterol)
– Complete Blood Cell count
sometimes those first two are combined into what’s called “Metabolic Panel”
if your insurance covers it to some degree, you can add
– Thyroid hormones
– Iron/ferritin
– Vitamin D levels.
I don’t know that kidney function needs to be your biggest concern, to be honest.
Oh, and don’t forget preventative things like vaccinations for pneumococcus, Hepatitis A, RSV (if you’re older or in contact with small babies), shingles, and the usual stuff like Tdap, MMR etc. If you live in an area with lots of tick-borne disease, TBE (FSME) vaccine might be useful.
If you’re unsure about measles immunity due to the recent outbreaks, you can get your measles antibody titers checked.
Or she can just see a decent doctor instead of going rogue and borrowing trouble. Just a thought.
Read How Not To Die, and then come back with specific questions. It covers all of this.
Are you having a comprehensive blood test every year? There are some additional panels your Dr might recommend based on your age, but if the tests comes back normal and you’re not exhibiting other symptoms, then the only other thing you could do is watch your sodium and sugar intake. Some things might require medication regardless of diet but there are a lot of steps between no symptoms of kidney disease and dialysis.
I also avoid added inorganic phosphates, but avoiding so-called ultraprocessed foods honestly covers a lot of ground (which is probably why that’s a general public health recommendation).
Not intending to be the voice of doom here, but if you have reason to be concerned about your kidneys then insist on a nephrology referral. I had the experience of seeing my kidney-related values (eGFR, Creatinine, etc) trending slowly in the wrong direction for a few years, not to the point of being seriously out of whack but the trend was concerning. My PCP kept saying not to worry, but did finally agree to a nephrology referral. Turns out the meds I was on for high blood pressure were wrecking havoc on my kidneys, and had I stayed on them, the trend would not have improved and there would have been more serious damage. Meds were changed, all is stable now. (Nephrologist could not believe PCP had not referred me sooner). I shudder to think where I might be today had I not been a pain in the a** about the referral. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself.
Now that the weather is warming up, my office has cranked up the ac and my office is freezing. I keep a big sweater at my desk, but give me your best tips/products for staying warm! I share an office, and my office-mate runs warm, so I’d rather not do a space heater
Blanket on my lap helps a lot. I have a big black wool scarf/ wrap that is fairly light and not noticeable under my desk but still quite warm.
Lap blanket while at your desk
Heated seat cushion or heated blanket throw, or if you can be super casual, rechargeable heated vest or jacket like Ororo.
I haven’t tried this myself but using a heating pad on your seat, keeping your butt warm might work. Smaller and more discreet than a blanket.
I love mine, although I don’t bother with discreet. I originally brought it in to work because I get terrible period cramps, but use it often just because I’m cold and it’s nice!
I think it’s dangerous (a fire hazard) to sit on the coils of a heating pad (according to their tags)
Lap blanket all the way. I don’t care if it doesn’t look “professional” or whatever. And socks. I have office socks I put on when it’s super cold; it’s under my desk so no one sees it. If it’s so bad that your hands get numb, fingerless gloves. And I know you said no space heater, but consider a tiny space heater under your desk, if you have an enclosed-type desk. It will create localized warmth and shouldn’t heat up the entire office.
I wear fingerless gloves and I feel so 90s but it’s better than completely numb hands.
+1
I have a space heater under my desk that I turn on as soon as the AC is switched on, and turn it off when the HV is returned in the Fall. This year, we’ve switched over to the AC so Im already using it when I am in the office (3x a week), and fortunately, the other 2 days, I can work at home where I have control over my own apartment. Believe it or not, I do use the AC at home when it is hot and can do without individual heat in the winter because all the other apartments in the building give off heat that wafts it’s way into my apartment.
Hear me out–you can cover some of the vents with double-sheeted paper so less AC is blasting into your office. It works. Just paper and tape. You got this!
Big sweater + lap blanket is my go-to.
Is a floating chest piece a thing in women’s suiting? I was shopping for sport coats for DH over the weekend and the salesman explained the floating chest piece as he was going through the different options.
I’m a lawyer and have really struggled with suits. I had one custom made (Tom James) but I’m not 100% happy with it, in part because it wrinkles across the chest. I always thought maybe it was anatomy related and unavoidable. I had never heard of the floating chest piece before! It sounds like that’s the answer to at least one of my problems. I’m surprised the custom place didn’t offer it. Is this a thing for women’s suiting? And if so, does anyone have recommendations for a custom suit maker that will do this competently?
I thought I understood sewing and have no idea what this is even. And I follow Die Workwear on twitter. Not closely enough I guess :)
The only account I miss from Twitter!
Never heard that terminology, but I assume it might be a form of interfacing or lining that is not fusible (glued) but sewn or partly sewn to the main fabric to allow movement and structure.
Horsehair canvas and stiff linen are often used to give structure to blazers and coats, and the best quality tailoring will be non fusible. Around the shoulders this material will be tacked down, but I guess you could “float” a chest piece and only attach at top and lightly tack sides.
Yep. Had some time to google this afternoon, and non fusible canvas interlining is called “floating”. It’s an old and high-end tailoring techique, but not necessarily know by the name your sales person used. You can abolutely get canvas interlining in womenswear.
I’ve never heard of a floating chest piece. Per Google, I think you’re asking about half canvas construction suits. Maybe using that term will help you to determine whether bespoke women’s suits offer that option?
Where do women in high positions actually shop? Like the president of Mexico, senators, women politicians all over Europe? I feel like the judges and doctors have it made, as they have uniforms and big white coats. The rest of us . . . I tried to rock a power neutral look today (like quiet luxury but more for the office). I feel like it’s just a corporate version of the SNL Mom Jeans commercial.
Victoria Beckham, Alexander McQueen, Armani
There was a Kate Middleton photo floating around yesterday and she was wearing a green Victoria Beckham pants suit and it was exquisite. I couldn’t pull it off even if I could afford it, but the look was perfect.
If you want something like this (which I agree, was beautiful), Banana Republic made very similar suiting not long ago. I only bought the pants because the long jacket looks terrible on me, but you can totally recreate this.
The row, actual designers like Carolina Herrera, plus tailoring. You can get a lot of bang for your buck with tailoring without the designer price tags.
Speaking of The Row, do we even see the Olsens much these days? I remember when they were just getting started, being tiny people in voluminous clothes with huge bags. I’m not sure I could get The Row in my city, but it’s intriguing and I hear it’s good. But it is $$$.
Akris? But I feel that that is good for tall women (which isn’t me). Princess Charlene of Monaco wears that a LOT and I feel that if it works for her, it likely won’t work for me.
Selina Meyer (from Veep)’s wardrobe basically. It’s a lot of Victoria Beckham and Carolina Herrera.
Theory and Hugo Boss
I’m several steps down from that but The Fold is great plus some of the options above.
Gianvito Rossi pumps are over represented among the footwear choices for a reason, they are so comfortable and wear well. For clothing, you don’t see it for sale a lot in the US but Altuzarra is also pretty popular. Also, nearly all of the “designer” brands you think of have work wear basics (suits, great pants) that aren’t highly advertised. It’s not all from one brand but a collection of different options.
Max Mara.
I find this so interesting. A lot of them just don’t dress that well. If they enjoy fashion, or if they find that looking sharp helps their brand (with voters or stakeholders), then sure, they will buy the designers mentioned, invest in tailoring, maybe hire a stylist, but many don’t. I have been in meetings with congresswomen, supreme and superior court justices (in their chambers, so out of court regalia – I’m not in the US), and ministers, a lot of them are old-fashioned or “dowdy” (just like their male counterparts) on regular days. Everyone makes an effort on picture or investiture day. Not that it doesn’t matter, but navigating those high-level jobs as a woman is so hard that appearance is just another thing potentially leveled against them, so how they dress may or may not be something they use to counteract that (putting aside taste and a personal interest in clothes).
When Dilma Rousseff became president of Brazil, as a 66-year-old grandmother, the attacks on her looks were brutal. So many people (many supposedly allies) bashed her appearance (and treated it as a stand-in for her brashness). Her choices and policies deserved a lot (a lot) of criticism and scrutiny, but all the commentary around her was coated in misogyny and so much linked back to her looks. Noticeably, the crop of men both in her cabinet and mounting the opposition in Congress were all prone to ill-fitting, polyester suits.
They all have their clothes tailored too. My tailor once turned a J Crew suit skirt from dumpy to perfectly polished by tapering it at the bottom. This small but highly impactful tweak never would even have occurred to me.
The tapering is called pegging. you should always do it.
The Queen Letizia Style blog identifies Letizia’s wardrobe. It’s a lot of the designers already mentioned. What Kate Wore is also good, but Kate hasn’t been doing many public appearances lately.
I am a statewide elected. J. Crew, Brooks Brothers, Ann Taylor, MM LeFleur are the most common names in my closet. I have most jackets and dresses tailored. I’d love to shop the other designers mentioned but public service is not high paying enough!
This is an excellent point. Having off the rack clothing tailored to your body makes a huge difference.
Akris, too, which would be my dream wardrobe if I could afford it.
There’s a wide range for the women U.S. Senators and Representatives. For those on the older side, it’s a lot of St. John, Carolina Herrera, Max Mara, maybe some Ralph Lauren.
A solid group of them are not fashion-focused at all; they are wearing mall brands purchased in the 2000s and 2010s (before quality took a massive nosedive) – old Ann Taylor, J. Crew, DKNY, Anne Klein, etc. Maybe Brooks Brothers or Hugo Boss. Eileen Fisher pieces when they can get away with it.
Younger and/or more fashion-inclined Members are wearing a lot of mid-high price brands like The Fold, Veronica Beard, Reiss, Hobbs, and Elie Tahari, mixed with a few pieces from higher priced designers (and their diffusion lines) like Victoria Beckham, Alexander McQueen, Bruno Cucinelli, Balmain, Ralph Lauren, Max Mara, Carolina Herrera, etc.
I would add Lafayette 148 and LK Bennett to this very good list.
I need ideas for a top to wear to a country club bat mitzvah, mid-Atlantic region. I plan to wear wide leg, black silk pants and the dress code is fancy, but not too fancy (whatever that means). The event is on a Saturday night in a few weeks. I am short, relatively square and busty, weigh 10 pounds more than my fighting weight, mid-60s. I would prefer sleeves and a v-neck or some other vertical neck element. All suggestion are welcome, the more specific, the better.
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No tush. Narrow hips. There is no synagogue aspect to the event.
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I would search for “Silk Wrap Blouse” to get the kind of top that’s dressy this way. Ex. here is one from Ann Taylor. https://www.anntaylor.com/clothing/tops-and-blouses/cata000010/studio-collection-silk-wrap-blouse/825958.html?dwvar_825958_color=7798&dwvar_825958_size=500¤cy=usd&country=US&srsltid=AfmBOor-K3E5R7r2bFWHkIytSdmAo5Yno8_1-j4-FzUc_byiFFoh4L3k-ZY&gQT=1
That blouse would be perfect, except the color would make me look like death. Thanks for the suggestion; it gives me an idea of something i can try to find.
Cobalt blue? https://www.macys.com/shop/product/donna-karan-new-york-womens-faux-wrap-long-sleeve-top?ID=20673561&pla_country=US&CAGPSPN=pla&trackingid=424×1057856556&m_sc=sem&m_sb=
Poly but a pretty bottle green? https://www.sezane.com/us-en/product/abelia-blouse/bottle-green?CHEQ&utm#size-0
Do teens and their parents just cheat all the time now and no one really cares? My kids just got to high school and already I see parents either playing puppetmaster or just ghost writing all of their things for them (I guess that will defeat an AI flag). Like vetting all things possible for Eagle Scout projects, driving around with the driving app on that’s supposed to get the kid night driving hours (because they are too busy with sports, are tired, we’re busy, etc.), doing all possible paper submissions, etc. Is that just how it is? How it is in what I’d call “executive neighborhoods”? I didn’t grow up like this and I feel like my kids are basically competent but basic teens. But they are no match compared to their peers if they have a dad (they are maybe the worst) and a SAHM ghostwriting everything. My kids are fine as teens, but is it really naive of me to think that they will do OK when it seems that everyone else is doing their kid’s work for them (I work FT and have eldercare responsibilities and couldn’t even if I wanted to hold my nose and do it)?
I did see this a bit back in the 90s and 00s when I was in school (my mom used to point it out in an outrage to me, so I remember it!).
And tbh that’s why I majorly side eye all the “best schools” and fancy pressure cooker districts…I actively picked a town much lower in the rankings in the hopes that it is filled with more honest regular people than Joneses.
As a uni prof, I’ve become so cynical. Just got out of a misconduct meeting with a student who had clearly generated her essay – and just brazened it out… I’m at the point where I’m rewarding essays which are a bit clunky, unpolished, but I can tell are written by a real human being.
At least you are dealing with adults. Cheating your kid out of any potential for development or growth, over the long term, isn’t going to end well. Or does no one truly care?
Yes. The Intelligencer article from the weekend round up post last week describing how much college students are cheating using ChatGPT was horrifying.
This article was GRIM.
I have a friend who teaches at community college, and she is bringing back in- person, hand-written exams.
I did not have the return of the blue book on my 2025 bingo card, yet here we are!
I remember reading something about rates of cheating being highly tied to a lack of societal cohesion and trust. So it’s a sign of the times, I suppose.
BUT. I’m a high school administrator in a wealthy district and while we certainly have families that do things like this, many (most, probably!) do not.
I’m over forty and so is my husband. We grew up firmly middle class in a half white collar half blue collar school district. Neither of us knew we were smart until college. Every “gifted” kid’s mom did their homework and wrote their papers. Ai is new but this really isn’t.
When I was a kid, all I wanted was to be a professional writer. I would have been livid if my parents had even breathed a word about doing any written work for me. It was the one thing I loved and I knew I was good at it. IDK how kids are now — are any of their accomplishments their accomplishments?
This is why I’m kind of glad SATs are coming back. Grades? Inflated (and lots of hippy schools refuse to grade and give an assessment). Demonstrated interest? Mom really did all that. Essays? Who knows.
I remember back in the day, the NY State Regents exams were acknowledged as an indicator of what a kid could do. IDK if they still exist (or exist that way), but I never doubted my peers (so the kids in shop class could really fix your car or wire your house; the kids writing a paper go dropped off at the library with some loose leaf paper and researched and handwrote papers).
I’m in my 40s as well but my boomer parents (one a teacher!) stopped proof reading my papers in middle school. My mom didn’t even proof my college admissions essays, and neither did any of my friend’s parents, so I don’t think this hovering was ‘rampant’ in the 90s.
Long term – these kids are only doing themselves a disservice. I work for a brand name firm and the writing skills of our new hires is…not good. I am helpng my kid (high school) edit big projects s but quite a lot of writing/revising is now done in class to avoid the AI issue. We’re going through the college counseling process now and every single admissions advisor has said they are asking harder questions about the essays/interests because AI is so prevalent.
I was too, but my parents made me do my own work. I did not get into an Ivy league school, but managed to succeed based on my own sweat equity. I’ve run across “gifted” kids like you describe, and can tell you that I can smell out a phony very quickly. Sure, they talk a good line, but flunk quickly once you get to specifics. And I don’t think I’m more prescient than others, tho some do get fooled into hiring these oafs.
It’s shockingly common but it really backfires on those kids when they get their first jobs and are entirely useless.
This.
I used to get calls from parents all the time in the early 2000s about potential Eagle Scout projects (back when I was public sector.) This doesn’t seem new.
I get that kids are in school most of the workday, but they all have e-mail now, so I feel like kids should be reaching out more (vs the parents doing it). CC the parents, but at least help show the kid how to write an e-mail.
We are doomed.
I grew up in the 90s/00s and my parents had a heavy hand in “helping” me with schoolwork. Definitely no where near the examples you gave, but now that I’m thinking about it through an adult lens I’m giving them the side eye.
Every Eagle Scout and Girl Scout Gold Award project I’ve ever seen was engineered by the parents. None of these kids even wants the award but their parents want them to have it so the parents do it for them.
That’s interesting. My Eagle Scout has what they used to call Asperger’s and wanted to do a project and I thought it was great adulting-type OT for writing business-like e-mails (vs texting peers) and talking to adults and trying to do things like understand a non-profit’s needs and timing and how to start and stage a project and source items, etc. It was such a good learning experience. Also, having to write up the steps along the way. We went to a training that our Scout council provided and I printed out hard copies of a workbook. It took a summer and talking to two different orgs (and getting ghosted by one after a meeting) to get everything planned, agreed-to, approved, done, and documented. It hopefully will be good training for applying to college or filling out job applications. But I’d have robbed my kid of those opportunities had I done anything beyond driving (OTOH, I feel that the autism pushes us to be outliers here; I cannot believe some of the things I see with neurotypical kids’ parents). So, on your kids’ behalf, please, please let them try as much as they can. Offer guidance and cheering. But you tell them that they can’t do something for every single thing you do for them that they could do, even if poorly-late-misspelled, for themselves. Don’t rob them of successes that could actually be theirs. I do worry that every kid’s actual work gets discounted because of the sense that cheating is just pervasive now.
My daughter is a college freshman. The kids with parents like those you describe all ended up at a pressure-cooker magnet high school. She did IB at our local school and did all the work on her own. I did not get the impression that anyone else’s parents at her school were overinvolved. Her extracurriculars were all performance-based so it was not possible to cheat. I suppose I could have pushed her harder to practice or been the booster club mom of the year to curry favor with the teachers, but she did pretty darn well without my meddling. She is now absolutely rocking it at an excellent but not elite college, in a major where cheating is often impossible and otherwise pretty impracticable. She entered college with self-advocacy and problem-solving skills that have served her well, as well as a healthy store of resilience. As for the tiger moms’ kids from the fancy high school, they didn’t get in to any better colleges than my kid did. The tiger moms’ kids have a sense of entitlement and a boldness that may substitute pretty well for actual problem-solving skills, but I’m glad I raised a good self-reliant kid and not an entitled a-hole. And my super rich friend whose kid was coddled at her $$$$$ private high school and went to a $$$$$$ fancy college? The poor kid flamed out in the first semester.
TL/DR Yes the tiger parents are definitely cheating, but if your kid isn’t Ivy League material it doesn’t matter and it’s better for them in the long run to do their own work.
Can he really accept a $400 million plane from Qatar? And since when are we bff with Syria?!?
Best Trojan Horse since the original?
Plane almost seems like a diversion to grab attention from the even shadier and bigger deals happening. NY Times had a good article.
And that small Chinese company buying up a ton of DJT crypto around the time of the tariff deal also seems shady AF.
The crypto coin is basically money laundering of donations on a gold platter.
This administration is going to be the biggest, most beautiful grift you’ve ever seen.
I just don’t see how he’s not realizing that he won’t turn be able to do his version of ‘diplomacy’ and trust that plane not to malfunction unexpectedly.
I don’t think they can retrofit the plane fast enough so that he can use it while he’s President (assuming he actually is able to get it on time). They have to literally have it pulled it all apart and then put back together to ensure it is secure. That takes a lot of time. He has made enough money that if he wanted to, he could buy his own plane, but it’s clear he’d rather get it for free, even tho he says it is being given to the US Government, not him. I see him taking the plane away from his “foundation” and selling it in exchange for something cozier (such as a couple new G-6s or G-7s)– one for him and one for Melania, who doesn’t spend much time under the same roof as him anymore, being focused on their son at NYU.
what an efficient use of government money
I’m no fan of this administration, but there is a good argument to be made for trying not to punish Syria’s new government out of existence. For one thing, it predominantly hurts the actual Syrians who live there.
Yes, he is trying to get the Nobel Peace Prize by trying to be in the middle of all conflicts, and hopefully resolving some of them. Once he gets that, it will be difficult for Congress to deny him much. After all, O’Bama got the Nobel prize years ago, and I can’t remember why.
Same.
Just a rant. My entire team (I’m the director) has a particular project that is their favorite project. It’s also the other director I work with’s favorite project. I get it – it’s for an important client, the work is interesting, it has a lot of potential. But there are other things we have to work on too! I feel like such the bad guy, saying we have to do other things and adjust timelines so that we are not just working on the favorite project. But c’mon guys.
Commiseration. Leadership is guiding your team to deliver the outputs for the betterment of the organization… but it’s not always fun to be the leader.
Are there ways to promote the importance of other projects to the org? I’ve found taking my team through how each project is tied to our overall strategic objectives was surprisingly enlightening for them. I assumed they *got* the impact of their work but clearly had been shielded from a lot of reporting under prior managers.
I think we’ve all heard of the studies (“studies”?) that show with equal qualifications, the person with an Anglo name on their resume will be selected more often than a person with an ethnic name.
I have a friend with a difficult ethnic first name (and easy last name) with impeccable credentials but he’s not getting anywhere applying for jobs. Would any of you consider switching out his first name to something Anglo in real life to see if it makes a difference? And then maybe say in the interview he uses that one on paper, but prefers his ethnic name for daily use? I wouldn’t dream of this except the family is in a hard spot and he needs a job asap.
IDK if that is true in big cities in 2025, but I routinely see people use “Chip” Jones vs something-complicated-or-hard-to-pronounce on a resume and IDK why using a nickname would be problematic.
I’m guessing your friend has already heard this information and is using their name for a reason. If you don’t have personal experience with this issue, then I would butt out.
Yeah whether or not it would be a good idea in the abstract, it’s not your call.
Since we are stuck with the current reality where interviewers are biased and people need paychecks? Absolutely give it a try.
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They totally could give it a try, and it would not be an issue in my company.
There are several of these studies, including in other countries, reproducibly showing a tendency to offer more jobs, higher salaries and more support to applicants with male, White sounding names.
If I were him, sure I’d try it – or maybe F. Last?
But also, if the issue is he’s sending tons of applications and not getting interviews (as opposed to, getting interviews and not moving forward); if I were him, I’d really really focus on roles I can get a referral to
No, I would not do this for two reasons. One, it makes him look duplicitous which is actually one of the biggest intangible reasons places reject people that don’t look like them (“There’s just something about him I can’t trust”). By saying you’re applying under a false name, you’ve just given them a reason to substantiate this gut feeling they have.
Second, name discrimination doesn’t end with the resume. Even if he makes it in the door at a place that doesn’t welcome him, his emails will go unanswered, his problems may be subconsciously deprioritized, and he could end up with a reputation as an underperformer.
Disagree. I find there’s a general assumption that English first name, non-English last name means born and educated in US but non-English for both names means immigrant and not US educated and therefore is more likely to be discriminated against both in hiring and at the office.
This is exactly why I chose the common American spelling for my child’s first name. People find my last name “difficult” bc I also have an ethic first name, but somehow on her, a known first name makes the ethnic last name easily pronounceable.
It’s not this deep. People have nicknames or go by their middle all the time, and it’s not cheating. I wouldn’t do a random name, but a real nickname you don’t mind being called, initials, a shortened version of your name are all fine.
Like every Assunta I know goes by Sue. They aren’t all Susans.
It is in no way duplicitous to have a nickname or an English name; where are you getting this idea from?
The majority of colleagues I have from certain language backgrounds have an English name they go by because their birth name doesn’t Anglicize well (or even transliterate well into the Latin alphabet) and this is entirely normal. If you think this constitutes going by a false name, you have some baggage to unpack.
This part is duplicitous: “And then maybe say in the interview he uses that one on paper, but prefers his ethnic name for daily use?”
He’s not really using the name.
I mean he uses it on paper to try and avoid being screened out so it’s factual that he uses on paper. That was just OP’s suggestion.
Most commenters suggested using initials or a shorter variation of his full name. Like Jack nickname for John real name. English speakers do it all the time so I don’t see why OP’s friend can’t.
Worked for my BIL. He got like zero interviews with euro first name, euro last name and got hired immediately with English first name, European last name. But he does go by that name at work now and used it socially when he met my sister so I’ve only ever known him as that name.
What about initials? Like J.B. or T.K. This doesn’t work if the initials don’t work together like BS.
Another common one I see is names being shortened. Like a kid in my son’s class goes by Sid even though his full first name is much longer. His parents named him with the expectation that it would provide an easy English nickname. Which I guess isn’t that different from James and Jim or Benjamin and Ben.
Absolutely would, while my legal name is somewhat pronounceable in English, my sister’s isn’t, so on her resumes she goes by something like “Q. Celia [ethnic lastname].” That got her interviews, while going just by her legal first name did not get many responses.
Also, plenty of people with Anglo first names go by their middle names, so someone whose first name is Benjamin is called Jack because it’s his middle name, and yet his email is still benjamin.lastname at company-email and it works…
I hate that it might help, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong (on his end!) if he does.
it’s a bad time to be looking for a job in a lot of industries right now, is it getting the interview or moving past that he’s struggling with?
I don’t know how that would work these days where you have to put your legal name into the on-line application system.
I have a free day in Tampa on Sunday after arriving on an early flight and am looking for a place I can walk around, do some window shopping, get a nice meal, that kind of thing – only thing really on the list is getting a mani/pedi, since I won’t have time before I leave. I’m staying over in Rocky Point and won’t have a car so will have to Uber there and back. Any recommendations of neighborhoods to look at or specific places to go?
Go downtown and you can see the Tall Ship of pirate Heritage. If you go back in January, I strongly recommend the pirate festival. Gasparilla is an annual pirate-themed festival and parade in Tampa, Florida, held each year since 1904. The event, organized by the Ye Mystic Krewe of Gasparilla, revolves around the legend of pirate Jose Gaspar, who is said to have patrolled the waters of West Florida during the late 18th and early 19th centuries. The core of the celebration is the “Gasparilla Pirate Fest,” which includes the “Gasparilla Invasion,” where a pirate ship sails into Tampa Bay, and the “Gasparilla Parade of Pirates,” a large parade down Bayshore Boulevard
A large parade of pirates, krewes, floats, and marching bands travels down Bayshore Boulevard. This event includes live music stages, food vendors, and other activities along the waterfront. 1904. The first Gasparilla celebration was held in 1904, with the Ye Mystic Krewe of Gasparilla initially arriving on horseback. The event has grown over the years, evolving from a smaller, horse-riding parade to the large-scale festival it is today. FYI, I met my first husband at the festival back in 2016!
Two restaurants I enjoyed: Oxford Exchange which has a bookstore and cafe where you can window shop, and Flan Factory in Ybor City.
Oooh yes, I’ve seen Oxford Exchange mentioned before and love a bookstore/cafe combo! This is exactly the kind of thing I’m looking for – thank you!
Anyone have specific recommendations for a mattress set for college age kid moving into first apartment? Online, ikea, independent mattress store? Not wanting to spend $$$ but obviously mattress is important. TIA!
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my partner got an ikea abrotten (foam) mattress recently – it was great at first but had a permanent dent/depression in under a year & he’s not a heavy person.
that said, post college I got a random foam mattress from a-zon (so much easier for delivery) and it served me well for 4+ years
Casper? Looks like they’re 20% off right now
Hm, I see you said a set, but no box spring is needed for these.
I’ll add in that we got our Casper at Costco, and it’s been great.
Ikea is perfect for that situation. Let the kid try different ones, though. I’m a hippy and light restless side-sleeper and need a totally different mattress to a heavier back-sleeper. To get the Goldilocks of mattress combination for somebody like me who need something softer, a medium spring or box spring with a thick and soft mattress topper is a better choice than a soft box spring with a firm topper.
My depression is at its worst in the morning. I don’t want to get out of bed, and when I do I feel like I am crawling out of my skin just to get through the morning. It doesn’t help that we have a 4.5 year old who is difficult in the mornings. I upped my dose of Wellbutrin and take it as soon as possible after I wake up, but I am just white-knuckling it for the first half of the day.
So sorry you are going through this. Small adds that help with my depression in the morning are green tea (boosts dopamine without the anxiety crash of coffee), a walk outside, and putting on happy music the second I get it up. Anything for a little pick-me-up can help in a small way.
I put together a Stanley full of iced water and cold coffee mix next to my bed and start sipping as soon as I wake up in the morning. It helps because I wake up and something is already done and ready for me to enjoy.
+1,000 to the point about doing things the night before so you don’t have to exert effort in the morning!
Are you getting enough sleep? And what time are you and your toddler waking up? If everyone is struggling this much, it might be that you’re starting the day too early.
I’ve just moved into my dream apartment, but my next door neighbor is very mean and passive aggressive. We are the only two units in the building, but she refuses to look at me when I say hello to her in the hallway. When my dad was visiting, she similarly snubbed him when he greeted her. With both me and my dad, her dogs were off leash and rushed up to us, so we said “Oh, hello! Are they friendly?” She ignored us and grabbed the dogs.
She has now left multiple notes on my door over what I consider trivial things. The most recent one said: “Please stop leaving your mail and packages at the bottom of the stairs. This is a shared space.” What she’s referring to is just where the mailmen leaves our packages; I guess I don’t pick them up quickly enough for her liking, but I am often out of the apartment all day at work. Meanwhile, her dogs bark loudly and are often unleashed, and every inch of the ‘shared space’ stairway is covered in dog fur.
Anyway. To make me feel better, can anyone else tell me annoying neighbor stories? I would love to hear even the pettiest things.
I had a neighbor like this. I noticed her car door was open and the dome light was on one night while getting home late from work. If she’d have been a neighborly neighbor, I’d have shut the door and then texted her so she could lock it (and maybe check inside). Instead, I did nothing. IDK if the battery was dead in the morning, but she’d long been trouble / frictive after every interaction and I decided that going to bed was better than staying up fuming over yet another round. FAFO.
ohh! I’d make up fun stories about why she dislikes you so much! The previous owner was her secret lover, and she misses her daily dalliances! She is a spy, and the previous owner was her target, and now she has to drive a longer distance to observe him!
My close friend did live next to someone who, without fail, left a note to my friend every single morning after she had s3x. It was an old apartment building, and everything was able to be heard, but she made sure my friend knew that she could hear her having s3x. It got straight up creepy, and my friend eventually moved.
Aw you sound like such a cute and fun person! Thank you for making me feel better <3
That is SO creepy! I had a prior neighbor beneath me who could hear everything in my apartment, and would knock on her ceiling when she didn't like the topic of conversation (typically dating or s3x). She was very catholic and I think thought we'd be red with shame to know someone caught us mentioning we liked a guy.
Your friend is much nicer than I am.
I would have sent a note back saying, “You seem very invested in my gardening life. Do you want to watch? It’s not my thing at all, but I can make an exception for you.”
She’d probably RSVP
Ugh. I’d be tempted to clean up all the dog hair and leave it on her doormat with a note to please stop leaving her dogs’ hair on the surfaces since this is a shared space…written on the back of her note.
I lived on Waverly Place in NYC right out of college. It was a big old building with thick plaster walls. My neighbor would turn on speakers with bass so intense that a glass of water would move across my coffee table with each beat.
When I lived in London, I had an upstairs neighbor who was a real stud. He was so loud, so often, that my roommate and I would scream BRAVO, DO IT AGAIN, when we was done doing studly things in the middle of the night.
Hahaha! That is so funny!
My previous upstairs neighbor had his kid part time. The kid’s mom and him would do custody swaps in the parking lot of the building. I knew nothing about them other than observing the custody swaps out the window. One day the swap got nasty and mom tried to break into the building so I called the cops and never saw her again. Dad seemed to get the kid full time. The 911 operator was very annoyed I had no idea who these people were or what the mom and dad’s relationship was.
Our next door neighbors are technically the apartment managers for the fourplex. I offered to take up the lawn maintenance this year because of how badly they managed the lawn last year. (2 foot thistles on the edges of the yard, dead grass, goats head weeds) He refused. They mowed the lawn for the first time last week and only mowed half of it. Literally mowed around the pile of leaves (that was created by the local 10 year old for playing in – he didn’t rake any leaves) left from the fall. I’m so annoyed at him.
Does anyone feel like people are meaner these days? I feel like I’ve gotten snapped at by strangers in my city. Things like a guy came out of his car to yell at me to move out of a parking spot he wanted (meanwhile I was just pulling in and not intending to leave). Or getting barked by a guy on the sidewalk for not walking quickly enough, when I was keeping pace with other pedestrians. Or loud honking over tiny things etc. I feel like there are just more aggressive a-holes than there used to be.
It’s almost as if there are public figures coarsening what constitutes acceptable behavior these days….
Have you noticed it too?
Yep. I moved from FL in the last few years and it really felt like where I used to live had gone from fun-crazy to mean-crazy.
It has become more acceptable to punch down.
100% yes, and even more so when there are automobiles involved. People seem to feel invisible and invincible in their vehicles and the anger they feel comfortable unleashing in public on total strangers is astonishing.
YES! I just mentioned to my husband that the road rage has been unhinged lately in my very small town. And I’m talking a Midwest, smaller town – but suddenly cars are barreling down a residential two way side street where cars are parked on both sides of the roads, so cars generally have to take turns bc the road becomes essentially one lane with cars parked on both sides.
I was attributing it to RTO and folks are just not leaving themselves enough time, but maybe it is the broader sentiment in society right now.
Yes, 100 percent.
Yes, I feel like everyone is more impatient than ever. People seem to have trouble even waiting a normal amount of time for anything. Maybe a side effect of smart phones and social media?
Yeah, everybody is a lot more entitled and self-centered and that’s, I’m sure, a self-reinforcing cycle with the type of people we’ve elected. I don’t know how we come back from that.
I feel meaner than I used to but try not to act on it. It’s because the world is meaner to me.
To a certain extent I am sure they are, given the stresses of living in 2025. But I will say this… I noticed that I see what I want to see. When I went out into the world thinking that people were meaner, they inevitably were. When I went out into the world thinking about the goodness of humanity and how within all of us is a kind person who might just be having a bad day, I found so many opportunities for warm connection.
Not at all trying to discount what you’re noticing, but it might be helpful to just try and go looking for the alternative and see what you find.