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Thursday’s Workwear Report: Seam-Detail Ponte Work Dress

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A woman wearing a burgundy midi dress and brown sandals, carrying a light brown suede bag

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

How pretty is this ponte dress from Eloquii? I like the princess seams and the elbow-length sleeves (although they’d probably be a little tricky to tuck into a blazer). This cabernet color will be perfect for fall, but it also comes in black, gray, white smoke, and navy. 

The dress is $109.95 at Eloquii and comes in sizes 14-32. 

Beyond Eloquii, as of 2025, some of our favorite plus-size dresses for work include options from Lands' End, Karen Kane, Talbots, J.Crew, and Universal Standard — also check out Karen Millen, Pari Passu, and Tanya Taylor for more unusual choices.

stretchy dress with V-neck and cascading ruffle-ish detail that begins at waist and goes down side of skirt
Karen Kane
woman wears plus-size work dress in wool
Lands' End (exact)
one of the best plus-size dresses for work from Universal Standard; it has short sleeves and a slight drape detail across the front
Universal Standard (exact)
one of the best plus-size dresses for work from Eloquii
Eloquii (exact)

Sales of note for 7/29/25

  • Nordstrom – The Anniversary Sale is open for everyone — here's our roundup! (ends 8/3)
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off wear-now styles + $50 off dresses and shoes + extra 60% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 25% off Mini styles (no women's sales currently)
  • Eloquii – $19+ select styles + extra 45% off all sale
  • J.Crew – Up to 50% off summer styles + extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 70% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – 25% off all previous flash sale items! Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
  • Rothy's – Final Few: up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Free shipping on everything
  • Talbots – 25% off your entire purchase + extra 50% markdowns on top of that

194 Comments

  1. A while ago I had posted here asking about whether to save coffee beans I had gotten on a work trip or whether to just drink them – and I just finished them! It’s brought me a lot of joy (and great coffee!) and now I have other beans I want to try.

    1. If it were a murky purple instead of murky red it would be the dress from the “Choreography” number in “White Christmas.”

      1. You made my day! White Christmas was one of my mom’s favorite movies, and I still watch it every December and sing along in her memory. She would often say how she didn’t understand that dance as a child and thus loved it’s commentary as an adult.

    3. Different strokes for different folks. This sort of dress, in a sturdy fabric, my size and with pockets is something I’d pay stupid money for.

      1. I get a ton of compliments on a similar dress. It is a little shorter (but so am I) and the sleeves aren’t belled but a sturdy fabric in princess seams can be a great look for an hourglass figure.

    4. I have a similar midi fit and flare from BR Factory last year, and I wear it a lot with frequent compliments. But the sleeves on this one are odd – not short, not long, too flared to pull off elbow length gracefully. It’s like they’re trying to provide fat arm coverage (no shade – I for one have fat arms that I try to cover), but not succeeding.

    6. I think it would work on someone with a lot more curve, if hemmed. The model is overwhelmed by it.

    7. It’s so hot lately, I don’t think this dress would feel light and breathable, at midi length.

  4. Anyone have some great NAS finds that aren’t the same stuff the influencers are pushing? I use this sale to stock up on my fave basics from Natori but didn’t see anything great while doing a quick browse of my usual “next tier mall brands” like AG, rag & bone, Vince so curious if there are any similar brands I should check out.

    1. Haven’t looked but if the westman atlier face drops are on sale, they are amazing as foundation.

    2. The sneakers I had on my wish list (on cloud, hoka) have sold out in my size and color by the time I got access today. :/

  5. Any tips for feeling less overstimulated? I spend more than half my day on video calls and the other half racing to respond to emails. It is just a lot to be going at full speed for 8-10 hours a day. Then during my lunch break and after work I’m dealing with various chores and personal things. On the weekends I end up just sitting on the couch because I’m so mentally exhausted. My husband already does more than his fair share so I don’t feel like asking him to do more is an option. Sometimes I feel like I can’t hack it as an adult.

    1. It’s not you being unable to adult. It’s the human race not being adapted to a 24/7 onslaught of information that doesn’t matter for our survival. I personally try to host all of my meetings not on video. There isn’t any need for it 90% of the time and it is much more overstimulating than a phone call for most people. I notice people get more irritated on video.

      1. This. And I don’t know what the solution is, other than to make sure you’re building in breaks when you can and not spending much time on screens when you’re at home. Summer is better for me, mentally, because I can sit outdoors on my covered patio in the evenings even when it’s hot. It’s a good reset.

        OP, you’re not bad at adulting. Our brains were never meant to be this stimulated all the time.

      2. Is this the right job? I left a similar environment for a much larger job on a smaller team (fewer meetings) where instant messaging isn’t the dominant mode for communication (it’s used but usually only when a response need is actually urgent). The culture shift has made all the difference in the world. I’ve also taken my skills from agency (hourly billing) to in-house and that, too, made a radical shift. It can be scary to job search, but truly some jobs require an “always on race” at a level that isn’t sustainable or healthy for mental and physical wellbeing in the long run.

      3. +1. Limiting video calls makes a huge difference for me. If these are regular meetings is there any way to move part or all of it offline? Email updates, Teams or Slack channel, a status report on your cloud collaboration tool…

      4. It is good to hear I’m not alone. I’m in house at a F100 company and the expectation is that cameras are always on. It is one of my least favorite parts of the job. My husband’s job is the opposite so sometimes I am jealous he can just wear a t shirt and doesn’t have to get fully ready each day.

      5. This is why I do not get all the resistance to going into an office. You do not leave feeling this way when you meet people in person. I get it’s not convenient every day, but some of the time makes a world of difference.

        1. I would love to go back to conference calls (when appropriate) and stay WFH. I like going in sometimes but not every day or even week. The nature of my work means I’d just be on my laptop there instead of here and it’s not worth 3 hours of commuting for that.

        2. I actually do feel this way or worse being in person in meetings all day with people so it’s not so much a video thing but a being “on” and performing thing. I’m an introvert so when you add in the commute on top of it the days in office periodically are brutal for me.

        3. Many people do leave feeling this way when they meet people in person though. So I think you can easily understand the resistance if you can understand that for some people it’s flipped?

        4. I leave feeling this way for both video and in-person meetings — for me, it’s not the mechanism of delivery.

    2. I have a job like this too and I have a second shift of parenting an extroverted child. My husband is also a talker and wfh and wants to chat chat chat when I come home. Today I went to my quiet office early before the meetings began and checked off some tasks and read the news while drinking coffee unbothered. It really helped.

      When I see a day getting meeting crazy I also block off times for focus but it’s really just breaks for me. If there is some emergency I can always remove these calendar blocks but for non urgent things on busy days it forces people to schedule the meeting the next day. My office we see all our calendar availability and people just put meetings on. So ymmv.

    3. I’ve seen general recommendations to get up and walk away from a screen five minutes every hour. This is often a medical recommendation since it’s good for lowering blood pressure, lowering the risk of a blood clot from sitting for too long, getting enough movement throughout the day for blood sugar, even good for vision to look at something a different distance from our eyes. But I swear it helps with the mental exhaustion too.

      1. That sounds great, but how do people do that when they have back to back meetings for hours on end?

        1. When the expectation is that we’re switching from one call straight to another, I don’t know. But I also don’t know how people are even peeing enough with those expectations, let alone all the other things I mentioned! My office had a culture of 50 minute meetings in-person and then switched to back-to-back 60 minutes meetings for WFH during the pandemic, and I’ll never know why. I just tried to schedule any meetings I was leading for 50 minutes and encourage that norm.

          1. I am lucky my office was a bedroom and so I have a bathroom steps away. Otherwise I would probably never get to go.

        2. Your calendar is also for you, not just others. If you know you will need to work on something on Thursday morning, block that time off on your calendar. It doesn’t solve the get up every hour, but can break up the back to back meetings.

      2. Our office has a five minute grace period for the start of meetings and also a policy of no meetings from 12-12:30pm, unless absolutely necessary.
        Sometimes it’s just enough so that we all can feel human.

    4. We’re not meant to be firing on all cylinders at all times.

      I work in emergency management and one thing I really, really appreciate about my field is that we’re good at determining what’s actually urgent and prioritizing accordingly (and if everything is urgent, then nothing js urgent). When it is urgent (disaster response), we’re working 12-20 hour days, 7 days a week until the job is done (usually a few weeks). When it’s steady state, we’re good at working our 40 hours and going home because we know we need to rest and recharge to be ready to go for the next time something happens.

      All this to say, are you in a position to push your organization to adopt a more reasonable pace?

    5. I commented up thread but also, resist the urge to collapse on the couch on the weekend. Some time in nature will be so much more restorative. You don’t want to get into the dynamic where weekends are for recovery from work; weekends should be so fun that you’re still glowing when you go back to work. It helps more than I can say (and I was in your same position).

    6. I was told relatively early on by a boss to start blocking chunks of time for heads down work and calendaring in breaks. If I need to move/reschedule those times I can, but it makes a world of difference. I’d also start giving yourself more time to respond to emails – 90% of the time the response can wait for a day or two and I’m the only one putting pressure on myself.
      For the crunch times where I really do need to be working 12+ hour days I let the rest of it go. We eat more takeout or freezer meals, I call a 20 minute walk plus some yoga a workout and consider myself ‘dressed’ if I have showered and put on clothing – I don’t do my makeup, hair, or dress up unless I’m on site. I also build in hibernation time during those weekends. The book ‘how to keep house while drowning’ is also helpful. I’ve accepted that we’re a load of laundry a day people – it helps keep it from building up. I also prep dinner on my lunch breaks, having everything I can delivered, and bundle my errands into one run.

  6. Middle managers – how much of your time do you find you spend project managing? “Did you start this?” “What’s the next step on X?” “Which project is the priority?”

    1. It depends on the person. With some people, it’s way too darn much, so I try to save that for our 1:1s. Do you have a project tracker that everyone can see and access at all times? If so, it shouldn’t be all on you to make updates all the time. Your people can do that, too.

      1. Oh yes I have all this. It’s not 1-on-1 as much, more on large projects with other teams etc. I know roughly where all my own people are at all times.

        1. Ah. That’s much harder, IMO. I don’t know of a great way around it, other than following up as needed and asking for updates. I think it’s an unavoidable part of middle management!

          1. Part of management is teaching people how to anticipate and plan. So the questioning them on next steps and pivot options around potential sources of delay is part of it. It’s quite different if you’re wasting time asking if they’ve started. You should never have to do that if you have an agreed schedule indicating when they need to start. I rely heavily on automations with my project plans (pre-set reminder emails that will automatically be sent to them reminding them of upcoming due dates and alerting if something isn’t checked off as complete). Using something like this with SmartSheet or AirTable will save you a TON of chasing.

            Not having to chase frees you up for the actual project management tasks of monitoring and adjusting plans based on progress, pivoting resources as needed, tracking against budget, etc.

      1. Okay. So then how much do you supervise other teams you work with (not your direct reports)?

        1. As much as you need to in order to get them to do the work. I find that I get more and better work out of them if they understand the broader context of their tasks, if I check in with them regularly, and if I keep them updated on the impact of their work.

  7. In the interest of paybacking all the great advice I’ve gotten here over the years, I have a few recs to share! Will do so in separate comments to make it easier to read. First, got a big win with Left On Friday swimsuits! I’m 46, short, pudgy, (though not overweight necessarily), small chested, big thighs, mom/meno tummy and I’ve been feeling not great about my body lately. I got the Sunday suit and the Sunday top and Hi Tide bottom and I love all of them! The colors are great, the fit is super flattering, and it feels comfortable enough for the neighborhood pool as well as a bit sexy enough to not feel frumpy.

    1. Note, they are expensive, but frankly I’m willing and able to pay the price for a swimsuit that makes me feel good.

      1. Fully agree. I can, generally, only wear bra sized swim wear and Bravissimo had a fire and isn’t shipping right now. I wear a 32GG and have a very long torso and ordered the Streamline in long and it is fabulous. It JUST fits the chest but works.

    2. Nice. I will also share a swimsuit find, in service to my fellow midlife women. I’m 44, 5’8″, muscular legs/thighs and a soft belly. I am very happy with my new Jantzen tankini top with high-waisted bottoms that have a built-in control panel. The top is somewhat shorter than most but NOT CROPPED. I actually felt good about myself at a 4th of July pool party because it fits me so well and is as flattering as a swimsuit is going to be. It also was way more than I wanted to spend, but so be it. I’m definitely in my quality not quantity stage of life!

    4. I got a one shoulder tankini from the river site — the brand is called Tempt Me (sounds ridiculous, I know). It was $40 and I feel is very flattering as well. I picked it up because another woman with a regular 50 year old body wears it at my neighborhood pool and I think it’s super cute. If you need another suit in the mix that’s at a better price point, I fully recommend!

  8. Second, Was having a lot of trouble with sleep and started taking magnesium. Holy cow, what a difference it has made. I still wake up a few times but have a lot less trouble going back to sleep.

      1. My Dr suggested Nature Made Magnesium oxide, I buy the 250mg pills. I could definitely overwhelm myself with researching options, so I went with what she told me. Interestingly, I believe this is one of the cheapest options too.
        It stopped my sciatic nerve pain, and I double the dose when I am stressed at work. I feel like it does help with sleep.

        1. I’m glad the oxide worked for you! It gave me the trots every morning so I switched to glycinate – which is definitely pricier, but worth it to me for the sleep benefits.

          1. Yeah I was going to say, I take magnesium oxide because I have ibs-c. Definitely stay away from mag oxide and mag citrate unless you need a little help in that arena. Normal people probably want mag glycinate.

          2. Yes magnesium glycinate is the one recommended for sleep, without the gastrointestinal side effects. It is often pricier than Mg oxide though.

    2. I’ve seen stats that approximately half of Americans get enough magnesium from diet. I figure if it helps this much with my sleep, it’s probably improving my bones and heart health too. I’m glad my doctor suggested it to me.

    4. Maybe I should try this. Do you ever find that you’re drowsy the next day? When I take melatonin it works but if I don’t have enough time to get 8+ hours of sleep I feel almost jet lagged.

      1. Same experience with melatonin, but not with magnesium. Getting enough magnesium can calm nerves, and getting extra magnesium can relax muscles, but I haven’t experienced drowsiness or sleepiness with it.

      3. Melatonin leaves me so hung over feeling that it isn’t worth it to me. Magnesium does not make me feel any particular way the next morning

    5. Just be careful. After a couple weeks, I experienced significant stomach issues from magnesium. terrible bloating, etc. Apparently that happens with some people.

        1. +1

          There are so many types of magnesium. Most give you a laxative effect.
          Magnesium glycinate is what you want.

    7. Magnesium is the only thing that’s cured my migraines. I had digestive issues with the pills so I put oil on my legs most nights. It helps me relax and sleep, and I know if I miss too many days leading up to my cycle I’ll probably get hit with a migraine.

    8. I take the Beauty Pie Daily Magnesium (which I believe is magnesium bisglycinate) at bedtime. And the occasional weed gummy. I sleep like a champ now.

  9. Third, after 9 years of leaking when I cough, run, or jump, I finally went to a pelvic floor therapist. I never would have believed it could happen but I think the leaking is cured! I still have some work to do to strengthen targeted muscles, but it has made such a huge difference. Started with every other week in February and slowed down to every three and now four. I have my last appt next month and feel confident that I can maintain my progress once I’m done. Don’t be dumb and wait for 9 years like I did! If you find a good therapist, it can actually work! I did try MommaStrong online and tried following a few Insta instructors and none of it worked. I really did need a PFT to diagnose my particular issues (weak hips, glutes, not kegeling effectively) and give me targeted exercises for it. 

    1. I second the recommendation for pelvic floor PT — what a game changer.

      I had a baby in December 2024 and it was complicated: episiotomy, 3rd degree tear after vacuum-assisted delivery. I was told by two OBGYNs that “pelvic floor PT is just really hip right now but not really worth it,” so I didn’t do it. Then, I experienced a 2nd degree bladder prolapse this Memorial Day Weekend–which was misdiagnosed in the ER, and by an OBGYN as “sometimes things just change but everything is fine.” I asked for pelvic floor PT after that, and found a wonderful therapist who comes to my home. She confirmed the prolapse (I knew something had prolapsed! Things had changed overnight!), and we have been doing work together for the last 1.5 months that has substantially improved my nerve pain, and just given me a lot more comfort in my body. Women’s healthcare is a nightmare, and working with my pelvic floor physical therapist is the first time, really since I became pregnant, when I’ve felt like someone has taken the time to slow down, really figure out what’s going on with me and my body, and work with me towards improvement. She also checks in with me mentally, because there are major links between your stress and anxiety levels and your pelvic floor.

      I cannot recommend pelvic floor PT enough! If anyone is in northern NJ, happy to make a recommendation for the woman I’m working with.

      2. I’m starting PFT with an online provider that is covered by my insurance. They mail a kit to do the biometric feedback and all sessions are then done at home with zoom calls/text if you have questions. It’s ‘bloom’ through Sword Health. I figure it’s a good starting point since I have frequent work travel and 3x/week in person sessions were never going to happen for me.

      3. I’m pretty sure med schools teach gynos to pretend their patients don’t have prolapse or to gloss over it rather than educate them on all the relevant treatment options like pelvic pt, pessaries, estrogen cream, etc. In addition to completely ignoring surgical options until the patient is in their 50’s. It’s one of the areas of women’s healthcare that still has truly appalling care. Pelvic pt didn’t help me as much as I would have liked so I had surgery, but I will still use the tools it gave me until day I die because it truly does help with managing pelvic floor conditions. It’s so important for anyone who has trouble getting a handle on their pelvic issues.

  10. Fourth, Eileen Fisher washable stretch crepe pants in black have been amazing for my mom/meno belly and thighs. They fit like a dream, feel luxurious, and even come in petite! These are my first EF clothing item so I was super happy to find they are as good as I’ve heard.

    3. I thrifted a pair of these EF pants. They are amazing. Even better, when I fell off my bike on my commute to work, they didn’t even tear (even though my knee underneath did!)

  11. I’m going to ask a question about buying a house. I think it might be dumb but I honestly just don’t know.

    My current lease runs until New Years Day and I am considering buying a house for the first time in December and I have started looking a Zillow to get a feel for prices in various Dallas neighborhoods. I would love to get a rough idea of what I could be preapproved for based on my income, savings, credit score, school loans, etc. but obviously stuff could change in the next 5 months. Is there a way to get a rough preapproval number just so I know what I can look at. I’m willing to fill out paperwork or whatever.

    1. Sure, there are pre approval calculators online. But what a bank will approve you for is likely much more than you can afford to spend, unless you have an unreportable source of income, like an expected inheritance.

    2. I wouldn’t use what you can get approved for as your budget. In fact, my mortgage lender had me do it backwards– they asked what my budget was, and then gave me an approval of that number. At the time, my budget was $325k. I was curious so I asked–the bank would have approved up to nearly $700k.

      All that is to say figure out your budget based on your income and expenses, not what the bank will approve.

      1. Yeah our budget was $500k which would have felt like a real stretch (we ended up buying a $350k house and that was very comfortable). The bank was willing to approve us for $1.1M. Bonkers.

        1. saaame, the bank approved a ridiculous amount, and the realtor was fairly pushy to consider more expensive options. My financial goal was literally to buy a home and still sleep at night, and I’m glad we stuck to the plan.

          1. When did you buy? We bought fairly recently and the preapproval was much closer to our actual budget than we expected. Though now that I think about it, we did ask them to be conservative because we didn’t want to signal to sellers that we had a ton of room to go up

          2. It was two years ago, just after the interest rates went up. I’m in a seller’s market where there is usually a bidding war and you get outbid a lot. The seller usually has bids to choose from so I think negotiations are not as common?

      2. We asked our lender only to preapprove us for an amount somewhat over our budget, on purpose so the realtor wouldn’t be able to pressure us to look at houses out of our price range.

    3. You can call a bank and they will tell you. A pre-qualification is a soft pull, so it won’t impact your credit (and therefore won’t be totally accurate, but will give you an idea). Once you are actually ready to buy, you’d choose your lender and get pre-approval, which is a hard pull.

    5. That’s not the number that matters. The thing to figure out is how much mortgage you can afford. Figure out how much you can put down and use a mortgage calculator to figure out how much house you can afford. The other number that matters is how much a house appraises for, but that’s more of an issue in places where you bid way over asking.

      1. Also start looking at how much house you can maintain– this is both a financial capacity and a mental/emotional/energy capacity.

        1. This is always my question – how do you determine that financial capacity number? I’ve always rented, so I’ve never had to factor in the financial capacity to maintain because that’s what the apartment maintenance team is for. Is there a good percentage to factor?

          1. The rule of thumb is typically a percentage of the house value. Between 1-4% on average. Some of this might be urgent stuff, like replacing a fridge or furnace, other things you might be able to plan for longer term, like a new paint job or cleaning the gutters. But it adds up.
            Depending on your location, property taxes can be a pretty big cost too.

          2. I’ve heard somewhere in the 2-5% range of the home price annually — where you’d likely fall depending on age and size of home and major appliances / components like roof, decking, etc.

          3. Tying the maintenance costs to the home value has never made a whole lot of sense to me. Houses in SF cost 10x as houses in Omaha, but it’s because the land is far more valuable in SF, not that building materials and labor cost 10 times as much – those things are probably more like 1.5-2x. So surely you don’t spend 10x as much maintaining a $3M house in SF as you would maintaining a $300k house in Omaha. You might even spend less because the SF house is likely to be smaller and come with less land. My sense is that the estimate works better in lower cost of living places and breaks down for HCOL places, although even in LCOL cities I think 2% is high, unless you own a very old home that needs a ton of work. Our house is conservatively worth $600k and we’ve never spent anywhere near $12k a year on maintenance – I can only imagine spending that much if we needed a new roof. Most years we don’t get to $6k even if you include the optional stuff we choose to outsource, like landscaping.

          4. I don’t think % of house value is a good planning tool, especially in places where real estate values are not astronomical. Yes, repairs and maintenance will cost slightly more in a HCOL area than in a MCOL or LCOL, but the multiplier is much smaller than the multiplier on the price of the house. Depending on the house’s age and upkeep I’d budget a minimum of $10-15K per year. If the house is more than 15 years old one year you’ll have to replace the fence, next all the appliances, then all the vinyl trim that’s fallen apart, then the HVAC, then the windows that have failed, then the roof…

          5. Property taxes and homeowner’s insurance will be escrowed if you have a mortgage and factored in to the monthly payment.

          6. I think we’ve established that SF is an outlier in all housing and wealth convos! So it’s not going to follow rules of thumb, which are only estimates to begin with. FWIW I’ve found the rules of thumb to be applicable in my area, NYC Metro. But expect to pay more in the couple years after you move in as you discover all the “issues”

          7. I think what’s factored into the mortgage must vary regionally. We pay insurance and property taxes ourselves, separately from the mortgage.

          8. SF is just an example; I think the more you spent on your house, the less a percentage-of-value amount makes sense for maintenance costs. Plenty of people have $1M houses and I think it’s very unusual to spend $20k/year on maintenance. Some years, like when you need a new roof or something, sure. But I think that would be a very high average amount.

    7. Dallas here. Wrong question!!
      What can you afford monthly and how much down payment do you have? That’s your math.

      Zillow and lenders will way under estimate taxes for Dallas area, only including school or city, not both.

    8. I am familiar with the Dallas market. The weather is brutal. Maintenance costs are high because the sun/heat lowers the life expectancy of a home. Property taxes are also high.

      Put your income into one of the online calculators and add property taxes, estimated insurance and maintenance costs of 10% of the value of the home. I recommend living each month with that being your housing cost and add the difference to savings.

      Dallas is fine but the property taxes drop significantly in certain counties. Also, some further out locations have school 4 days a week now. I refused to consider these areas.

  12. We’ve been absolutely walloped with bad news this week and I still have to soldier on at work due to current projects and for family activities at night. What’s your best self-care tip for really trying times? Ideally free or cheap because I’ve had to spend much more money this week than I’d like!!!

    2. A few months ago I experienced maybe the greatest spike in stress in my life. One night, I felt like I was so close to spiraling out of control, so I went into a quiet room in my home and read a book to myself aloud. I found that it required me to focus entirely on the reading, and quieted the other parts of my mind that were causing me so much angst. I also found that physical act of read aloud, and what it did to my breath, helped to calm me. I strongly recommend finding a book you love and reading it aloud for even just 10 minutes each day.

    4. Walking and meditation
      I am with you as to the need to compartmentalize and this is what has helped so far. But what I really need to do is heavy liftng, I just haven’t been able to get to the gym.

    5. Quit news and social media. Read books- hard copies from the library.
      Talk to a friend.
      Sleep. Just get into my pjs and brush my teeth when the kids are getting ready for bed and go to bed once they are in bed.

  13. Has anyone done executive presence coaching or similar, and was it helpful? Willing to share experience? I’m specifically trying to project authority peer-to-peer–not concerned about public speaking, etc.

    1. Peer to peer is where you need to be helpful and easy to work with. It’s not about projecting authority. Really get to know people. Help them succeed and you will too.

      1. OP here. I wish, but “helpful” is sending the wrong message with some misogynistic dudes.

        1. I tell them which junior man they should ask to make the coffee or take the meeting notes.

    2. Not exactly an answer to your question, but I had success with building confidence versus building projecting authority. Having more confidence led to naturally being more authoritative. I started with a leadership program at the Center for Creative Leadership, which included a battery of personality type assessments. Honestly, I hate and loathe these types of tests, but after the testing, I met with a psychologist who told me to focus on the commonalities across the tests. She was able to articulate, in one sentence, a key part of my personality that was really helpful for me to understand. I think the difference was the tests were solely for me, with no employer involvement.

      Building my confidence helped me to better stand my ground and to not get annoyed. That led to naturally showing more leadership and authority.

  14. Any recommendations for pearl earrings? Studs and medium- to large-sized preferred. I loved mine but recently lost one (ah, don’t even ask!), and I am looking for a new pair.

    No specific price range. Thank you!

    2. My favorite ones are from Kojima Pearl. If you don’t see what you like on her site, send her a note with your preferred size and budget and she will make them for you.

      1. 2nd Kojima. Sarah is wonderful! You can contact her with what you’re looking for, and she will find it. Often at prices much better than retail and the quality is vastly superior.

  15. How much should I tip for a haircut? Base cut is $80, MCOL area. Planning to get a trim with slight layering, long hair. New stylist to me (not the owner). Thanks!

  16. Is anyone familiar with the brand Lesley Evers? I feel like they’re way too bright and crazy and yet I keep thinking “oh that dress is so nice”

    1. Yes, I know her. Lovely woman. Bay Area based company and excellent quality. The prints aren’t for everyone but if you like it, highly recommend.

    2. If it helps, I was in my brick-and-mortar Nordstrom the other day and they had a whole display of similar prints and I thought it all looked really fresh and fun.

    3. There’s a store in my neighborhood- I’m in the Bay Area – and you’ve just encouraged me to check it out.

  17. Pajama help! My mom is in her early 70s and nearly 6 feet tall. She is a size medium, but she buys XL or XXL pajamas that she thinks are ugly so that they are long enough. Is anyone aware of nice pajamas that come in tall sizes?

    1. Lake sells their mens PJ pants (which come in nice plain stripes) in Tall lengths that are great (even a hair long) for my 6′ husband. They are neutral stripe type patterns. Love the fabric.

      3. I’m another tall who has tried men’s pajamas. Unfortunately they aren’t cut for anyone with hips or junk in the trunk, which means you either have to buy them way too large in the waist, or they will be tight across the butt and/or have the waist dipping down in the back. Neither of which are comfortable, which is the most important consideration in loungewear!

      1. I have been disappointed with the quality of LTS, as a woman who is 5’11. Lands End is a good option.

        1. +1 from another 5’11” woman. LTS sucks.

          Also I’m impressed your mom has kept her height into her 70s! Does she drink a lot of milk? I feel like I’m already shrinking a bit and I’m only 40.

          1. She hates milk, LOL. She is probably not quite 6′ anymore, but she has long legs so wherever the length goes when you age, her pajamas remain too short :)

    4. Gap, Land’s End, Soma, and sometimes Kohl’s has tall pajamas in their house brands.

    6. Gap and Old Navy both have their 100% cotton poplin PJs in tall. Their current prints might not be what she wants but it’s worth keeping an eye out. Printfresh also sells tall/long.

    7. LL Bean carries pajamas in tall sizes. Eddie Bauer and Soma used to have them, but don’t seem to have much selection right now.

    8. Soma has tall sizes. I’m 5’10” and disproportionately long of leg, and they are perfect. But don’t size up. I tend to do that but it can make them slide down, which becomes a trip hazard.

    11. I buy Victoria’s Secret pjs – most of the styles come in long and they are long enough for me (5’10”). They hold up well too.

  18. Am I supposed to tip for laser hair removal at a meds spa? And if so, do I tip every time or at the end of my set # of visits?

    1. You tip for this? It is so crazy expensive and they make so much $$ for a low skill procedure it seems like extortion to tip.

      Am I wrong? Probably.

    2. I didn’t tip. These are trained experts in a clinical setting. They aren’t manicurists making minimum wage.

    3. I tip. The person who treated me would go above and beyond, and treat small areas that I hadn’t paid for. Some were areas that were treated previously and just needed a quick touch up, like my upper lip. Others were areas that I hadn’t considered treating (like underarms) until she brought it up and said let’s do one treatment and see if you like it/how you react. Definitely worth the tip.

  19. i just read that one of the little girls who dies in the floods. her dad died two months ago of a heart attack and her uncle (her mother’s brother) died in June. that poor mother. so much tragedy for one family in such a short amount of time.

    2. Well, this is dark. What kind of discussion are you trying to start or are you just making a terrible announcement?

      1. I see her comment as one rooted in compassion and sympathy. I don’t think those are traits we should discourage, here or anywhere really.

        2. I think the comment was rooted in compassion but I’m also not sure what the point of discussing it here is.

        3. It’s unkind to people who are just trying to take a break and relax at a fashion blog to hit them with the most sordid details of a popular news story. Like suddenly telling us horrific details about a bloody murder scene or something.

          1. Yeah, posting about it here doesn’t feel like compassion, it feels like wallowing in other people’s pain and trying to force other people to feel the same.

          2. I would agree about horrific details from a murder scene, but there was nothing sordid here at all.

      2. Thank you. Last thing I need to let my mind spiral at all the suffering and start crying at work.

      3. I saw the same piece and included the mother in my prayers. It’s extremely unfortunate and it’s heartbreaking.

        I feel more affected than others by this tragedy as this was the camp my ex husband fought me to send our daughters to. Thankfully I won the argument and they didn’t go. He wanted to send the children to camp during his custodial time while he took his girlfriend to Europe and was demanding I drive them there as he would have already left the country. Thank goodness my lawyer made him leave the children with me instead.

        Best $2500 in legal fees I have ever spent. To think now what happened when I was upset about the children not being with family on July 4th and having to pack and pay 50% of the cost for 3 children for camp, I am so thankful and fortunate I have the representation and, while money is tight, I’m making it each week.

          1. This is uncalled for; of course she’s thinking about what a close call that was. Anyone would!

          2. Oh please. She’s not telling this story to the campers’ parents, she’s dumping out to an anonymous board. This type of “near miss” is incredibly scary in its own way

          3. Saying “I feel more affected than others by this tragedy” in this comment is ridiculous. Your kids are alive. There is the group of parents whose kids are dead, and everyone else. You are not more significant than anyone else in the everyone else bucket, and it really and truly is not about you.

          4. I have no kids and never went to summer camp. I can see that someone who has kids who go to summer camp is closer to this tragedy than I am and probably is reacting differently to this news.

          5. And yet it still is not about them, at all, and saying “wow glad this random stroke of luck means my kids aren’t the dead ones” out loud is narcissistic and insensitive.

          6. I’m the person who posted at 3:26pm.

            It’s not meant to be about me. I wouldn’t normally be affected by this type of event but this was an incredibly close call. I don’t judge this mother. I have all the empathy for her. To experience such profound loss is devastating. She remains in my prayers.

    3. I promise you disaster victims do not enjoy anonymous people gawking at their pain on the internet. This is gross.

    1. Being an actively practicing criminal defense lawyer who used to work in civil litigation has worked well for me.

    2. Heh once we had a retired judge give a talk to my Rotary Club on that very topic. His conclusion? “Renounce your U.S. citizenship — I have the forms right here!” Otherwise, it’s your civic duty and you should suck it up and be happy you’re not being drafted into the armed forces.

    3. As a practical matter, where I live we have a system where you are on call for a week and you may or not be actually called to appear. And in my county we can go online and change the dates. If you change your week of service to a holiday week like Thanksgiving, it dramatically reduces the chance you will actually have to go in.

    6. What is the reason for not wanting to do jury duty?

      Personally I can afford to do jury duty, which is a valid reason. When I was called for jury duty 8 years ago my youngest was a baby. I was excused on that basis as I had to pump regularly.

      If you can do jury duty you should. It’s incredibly selfish to avoid it.

    7. Word vomiting whenever they ask you a question. Don’t lie, just say a lot. Someone will hear something they don’t like.

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