Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Short-Sleeved Cardigan
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I like the slightly cropped fit and bold gold buttons on this cardigan from H&M. A short-sleeved cardigan is of limited utility if you’re actually looking for warmth, but if you’re just looking to cover your arms while wearing a sleeveless dress or top, it’s a great option.
I would pair this with a camel or light gray sheath for an easy office outfit.
The sweater is $29.99 at H&M and comes in sizes XXS-XXL. It also comes in light blue and a white/navy stripe.
Sales of note for 6/18/25:
- Nordstrom – Designer clearance up to 60% off
- Ann Taylor – $99 dresses + 40% off summer must-haves + extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new womenswear styles with code
- Eloquii – $19 & up select styles + up to 40% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off almost everything (ends 6/23) + extra 50% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 60% off clearance + extra 20% off $100+ + extra 25% off $125
- M.M.LaFleur – Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Free shipping on everything
- Talbots – $29+ summer shirts + $29.99 all markdown sweaters + extra 30% off other markdowns
I have a team of around 50 people. We recently got a new timekeeping software and it makes certain changes in their time sheets now visible. The vast majority are totally fine, but there are 4 people who correct their time sheets on home office-days (think: entering at 9:30 that they started at 8:30). Two of these people have other performance issues, but two really surprised me (they aren’t top performers exactly but generally fine).
Can you guys please help me brainstorm what is the best way forward? Do I address it informally? Do I start from a good faith-perspective (“now that we have the new software, we need to take extra care that we enter our working time correctly in real time”)? Can I handle the two low performers differently than the other two (they will almost certainly talk to each other? Or do I go the official route immediately (escalate, involve HR)?
I’m never a fan of group announcements when 2 people are the problem. They might not realize that you can see the changes now. I would go in open-minded and ask them whats up. Even if you think their answer of “oh it happeened once by accident” is wrong give them a chance to sotp doing it. If that doesnt work after a short time, straight to HR
Thanks! To clarify, I meant do do this in individual discussions, not in a group setting! I also hate that. So they are doing this every. single. time. What do I say if they say “oh I totally forgot that one time”? Call their bluff or not?
I would call their bluff. If it’s every single time I would tell them as a warning. Do you think they’re saying they worked 8 hrs instead of 7 hrs every single day?
On their home office-days (1-2 days per week) – yes, this is my suspicion… I find it hard to imagine that they are simply forgetting every time!!!
I’ve had ADHD coworkers before who forgot to punch in on time more often than they remembered. They weren’t slacking; if anything the challenge was to prevent them to work without being paid because they were self conscious about needing to correct the timesheet.
I would call their bluff. The one thing you should be prepared for is that they will now open their computer at 8:30 to sign on, but still might not work until 9:30 (obviously this was your example, adjust as necessary for the actually scenario). Basically you should anticipate that they may hide their tracks better but not actually change their behavior. Depending on the importance of the underlying behavior change, start thinking about what other signals you can use to validate that the appropriate behavior does start happening.
Good point! Thank you!!!
I honestly don’t understand why they wouldn’t be doing this already if the purpose of this behavior is to log extra hours without working. If they’re WFH those days, who would know?
What is the actual problem here? Like, possibilities-
– are they hourly employees and so this is fraudulent for getting paid, in which case tbh they should be fired IMHO,
– are they salaried and prone to dawdling at sitting down when they’re home, getting their work done, but worried they’ll look bad for the later start time? In this case they should just record their time as they go, and you’d expect them to have a later end time accordingly, or
– is there an issue with adhering to meaningful expected work hours? like in my department, there is a good 1.5 hour range on the start and end of the work day, but unless you’re outside that range, it’s nbd to run on the earlier or later side as long as you aren’t a problem to get ahold of or schedule meetings with.
oh and in any event, talk to the people who are doing this individually and directly. A general finger-wagging email will do nothing for them and annoy the people who aren’t the problem.
+1 – I cannot figure out why you’d even have software like this in the first place unless it’s a whole team of nonexempts.
This is in Europe and here, they are salaried but log their hours (it’s a Flex Time system, they have to be working within core hours but can shift within flex hours). I suspect they are padding their hours in home office. I am performance oriented and could live with this as long as they are meeting goals, but entering it in the system like this is just not acceptable. There is a real chance at some point HR or someone higher up sees it. As someone else mentioned, they could at least just push the damn b*tton on time!
“You’re doing your work just fine, you’re working within correct hours, and there are no substantive complaints but you need to press a button at a different time. And there are people who spend their working hours to make sure the button is pressed at the right time.” My goodness your company sounds pedantic and silly.
Harsh but thanks for the reality check :-D I really didn’t realise this was abnormal
So agreed, this is just bonkers.
I would literally tell the people who are good performers exactly this first sentence. Agree with them that it’s quite silly but some bureaucratic thing they need to do
Right. Is this actually important from an audit point of view? If yes, tell them to press their button on time.
Except (if you are the known problem people where I work) we tried to call you then and you don’t pick up. We are working and you aren’t actually carrying a full load. Coworkers see this and it builds team resentment.
Signed,
So tied of slacker team members we know are at yoga
I don’t see the problem. If they’re getting their work done, why does it matter if they started at 9:30 instead of 8:30?
I would start informally and assuming good faith. And go from there.
I think this is hard to wrap our heads around as Americans. I would check with your Hr. In many European countries, salaried employees are required to track time (to ensure they’re not working TOO MUCH). But it’s not okay to falsify employment records and that’s what they seem to be doing. Again, check with your HR bc Europe is so different
Even as an American, even if I think this is a little dumb, falsifying your time is not okay. If its silly, even more reason not to do it. This is one of those things that is annoying but its even weirder if you’re soooo against doing it.
I still think the obvious way to falsify would be to punch in at 8:30 and not start working till 9:30. For all I know way more people are doing that than are editing hours.
I have this problem. Basically, I have a team and our policy is that you can modify your work hours with supervisor approval but basically just have to put them on your calendar. Government so even salaried, we’re required to account for our full hours. It’s not that hard and we give a lot of grace, but I do have individual conversations.
Top performer who has had a lot of life stuff and always gets their work done? ‘Heads up, they have an eye on this, make sure you’re accounting for all hours worked.’ Relevant because they might be working odd hours or just forgetting to press the button.
Low performer? ‘You have been modifying this. It is visible to us. As per your contract, the expectations are A, B, C. If you need time off, the process is D.’ Less grace.
Also salaried and paid by taxpayer funds, and while it’s nice that everyone here proclaims that only results matter over hours logged, I think this is very much within certain boundaries. At my workplace the ethics training has basically one rule of thumb: if what you’re doing would make the organization look bad when posted on the front page of NYT, don’t do it.
For some jobs, a person who is both highly capable but also not ambitious, could probably automate a lot of steps and also refuse to take on more work than a less productive peer. But the result could be the headline: Working 10 hours a week and paid for 40 – tax dollars at waste. Any reasonable person would expect that the standards are raised in this case.
I’ve been talking to my therapist more about dating and I feel like I’m at a crossroads. Honestly, I don’t enjoy dating or gardening. Therapist asked why I wanted to date and my answer to that question doesn’t sound strong even to myself. It would be nice to have someone to go out to dinner with / on trips with etc. Of course I do that with my friends but that takes more coordination.
Idk if I should continue dating through the apps and all that to see if I meet someone who will click. Therapist suggested basically being more selective and making first dates more casual. I think that’s worth a shot. The other issue is that I always feel pressured to “be on” and act basically more feminine on dates. I say this as I’m literally wearing a pink flowery dress with curled hair at 8am while WFH – so its not that I’m not feminine but I just feel obligated to act a certain way with dates.
I have found myself thinking many times that “I don’t really want a husband I want a kid”. And medically either way I would be adopting a kid or doing IVF. I guess I’m just daunted because it is a different path to most people, if I stay single and maybe adopt a kid someday. Maybe this is my question – do you have examples of people in your life you stayed single by choice, and could you tell me a little about them? I want to know if this exists.
Single mom by choice is definitely a thing and you can find communities for that online and probably locally if you live in a big city. It makes a lot of sense to me from what you’ve described. Finances would be my biggest concern because you save so much living with another adult, and kids are incredibly expensive. If you think you can make it work financially, I say go for it.
Yeah I would have to quit my nonprofit job and find a higher paying one, which should be possible (if not at this very moment then in a few years).
A partner at my old firm did this and it seemed to be going well, but also she had a ton of money to throw at any problem.
+1. A good friend is a single mom by choice. She is a partner at a law firm so can afford a night nurse, nanny, etc, and her parents and siblings help as needed too. It seems to be working really well for her.
Does it make a lot of sense? Having a child is emotionally and physically hard, and being the only adult available/responsible would be difficult. You would need a lot of support and people willing to be there at the drop of a hat…there were many moments in the early months and years when my husband and I needed to “tap out” for our sanity and have the other take over immediately.
I say this as a woman who dreamed of motherhood since I was a toddler, and felt totally excited and not nervous at all nervous, with tons of support, and I STILL found the adjustment to be difficult beyond belief. And parenting in general is a lot different in practice than I ever expected.
That said – having kids is definitely worth it and I love it so much I have four! Women become single mothers and handle it all the time. But choosing to go it alone would be a lot…it still may make sense for you, but it most certainly will be harder than you think.
Yeah it does. We aren’t all in need of a husband to step in. I became a single mom 7 years ago and it’s amazing. I’ve never had or needed someone to step in at the drop of a hat. You learn other ways of coping. Please don’t paint being a single mom in a negative light when you’ve never done it.
I think she’s just saying being a parent is much harder than she expected and couldn’t imagine doing it without the support of her of her husband.
I’ve done it and am doing it and it’s singularly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Infinitely harder than bulge bracket M&A and it never ends.
Or you might find it easier!
I have friends who have solo parented during deployments (mom or dad) and they also had two sets of family to help pitch in. That helped immensely. And a supportive community that “got” them, which you might not have outside of the military.
I am not a single mom, but I have never needed to “tap out” for my sanity or have someone take over immediately. Sure, I am happy to have downtime and breaks, but this is a really strange take. Granted, I have one kid, not four, so I imagine that could make a difference.
I was thinking more of moms who end up in the hospital with a medical emergency. But really two parents isn’t enough in those scenarios either.
I made that comment, and I mean like “baby has colic and is crying for hours and you need to hand the baby off and go have a snack and sit by yourself for 15 minutes.”
For older kids it’s more like “kid is really having a meltdown and you have kept your cool for 45 minutes and it’s time to switch with the other parent so you don’t lose it, too.”
And things along those lines. I don’t mean leave the house for hours. But there are a lot of intense, unpredictable moments with babies and kids and it’s extremely nice (borderline imperative, sometimes) to have another set of hands.
My husband is really involved and I’m grateful for him but I think a solid 75% of my female friends would be better off (except financially) parenting alone. Most straight men aren’t that helpful with housework and parenting and create housework and emotional labor for their wives.
But they also supply a paycheck and a second person to handle things.
yes, 5, and all thriving in middle / older age (50s to 70s), all single and childfree. They travel (or meet up with) family and friends. They are mentors at work. They hang out on stoops with us and chat when it’s nice weather (some are neighbors). They sometimes date, sometimes don’t. The older ones have made plans for elder care facilities farther in advance than I’m guessing people with children might, since they want to make very sure they have their faculties while doing their late-life planning.
This is way more common if you live in a major city, so if you want to feel “normal” for that choice, it’s easier to find your people than if you’re in a ‘burb.
Awww I love this. Yeah this sounds ideal. I am in a major city, but my immediate friend group seems very couple-d up. I need to figure out how to find more single friends lol.
it’s a big step that you are aware of feeling like you need to show a pretend version of yourself on dates! But don’t stop at the self awareness stage! That would be something that I would work on changing. You want to confidently show people your actual self, otherwise they fall in love with the pretend version and either you have to keep it up for years or you drop it eventually and they feel betrayed.
Yeah, try being yourself first before you give up the idea. Honestly all the single by choice people I know aren’t thriving. I know a lot, so it is common, but none have lives I’d want to copy. There’s a lot of people out there, but you’ll never meet the right one if you’re faking some feminine personality that isn’t you.
You’re making it sound like I’m doing something intentional and malicious, and its not it. Even when I try not to it ends up happening. I’m going to try things like making the dates more casual so I’m more comfortable, but I also think part of the faking is that I’m just not that into it so I fall back on “learned” behaviors.
Reframe from not into dating to not into that particular person. Adjust your ideas of who you’re looking for. Also, I’d never go on a long first date, a drink at the most. You can go on a second if you like the person.
I think dating is just set up like this and is unnatural and awkward. Meeting people through community connections is really different. I realize there’s no way to make the latter happen and that there are reasons why people date instead, but some of us are just not cut out for dating at all (I certainly was not).
Thank god we aren’t friends then. If my full delightful life with an amazing job I love, a beautiful apartment, a baby on the way, tons of friends, and years of travel and adventure is one you want to look down on, no prob. I don’t need friends like that
Just bc they have lives you don’t want to copy doesn’t mean they hate their lives- different strokes for different folks
Oh I know, they’re just all kind of off in ways that are generally off putting to others. They struggle with their friendships as much as their romantic relationships too. There’s a difference between the single and looking and the single and have just decided to give up types. I’m speaking about the latter.
Wow you don’t seem like a nice friend to them either.
Wow, sorry you’re jealous of the great lives your single friends are having.
That’s it. You got me.
My good friend is a single mom by choice. She loves her kid, she loves her life, she loves her choice. It is complex and takes coordination with a community, but there are single-parent communities that you can find.
Pursue what you want. It’ll take work, but it’s your life and not anyone else’s.
I’m 41 and single and pregnant with a kid through IVF and it’s not as uncommon as you seem to think. I have multiple friends who have done it, one who is also pregnant, and even coworkers. I’m totally open to finding someone but so far it hasn’t happened for me and I wasn’t going to let the lack of a man stop me from being a mom.
I’m early 40s and dating a wonderful man who I love and want to marry (and my life is objectively better with him than as a single person), but he wants kids and I don’t. There’s about a 50/50 chance we break up. If that happens, I don’t plan on trying to date again. Half of my friends are single and half are childfree couples where I’m friends with both parties, so I have a robust friend group who are in similar lifestyles. It’s not the same as being with a partner but it’s enough to have a fulfilling life if things don’t work out. My main concern is knowing that I have a support system for life once my parents pass – someone to pick me up from the hospital if I need it, bring me soup if I’m sick, etc. I’d love it to be a husband or partner, but I will happily settle for amazing friends.
It’s not quite the same for you since I think being an intentionally single parent could be very hard and lonely, but I also agree that it’s not a good enough reason to try to keep dating or forcing yourself to find someone. But if it helps, this internet stranger is giving you permission to decide to have an intentionally single life even if you have to work a little harder to find your people to support you through life.
So I’m not 100% sure about the kid thing. That was more that of those two things, a husband and a kid, a kid is a little bit more intriguing. But not required at all.
You could consider unconventional foster situations. I know of a single woman who opened up her home to teenage girls only, who were about to age out of the system and wanted to be in a home without men. She found it very rewarding.
Wow again I would love that! And would not have thought about of it myself. Thanks!
I have an acquaintance who is a single mom by choice via IVF. She has a ton of help from her family (currently lives with her parents) and is very successful professionally (she’s a very high-salaried physician) so has a lot of money to throw at help. But, she loves it and seems to be thriving.
The other side of that is one of my closest friends who after having kids on her own can barely hold down her high income legal job that she needs to support her family. She underestimated the need for a support system and other people in her life and is constantly struggling and on the verge of everything falling apart. Not to say it can’t be done but the whole single mom by choice life is glamorized so much that it can lead to bad decision making. I’m all for living an alternative lifestyle that’s true to you. Be open to your life looking different than you thought it might but be careful about irreversible decisions.
No it really is not
Just read this thread, prime example of the glamorization.
Does she need to get an au pair or what does she need?
Yes and she’s so overextended financially she cannot afford one. She is a paycheck away from disaster. And this is someone who was a high earner and high performer before becoming a single mom who thought she could easily pull it all off. Reality is a lot harder.
I’m the daughter of a single mom by choice. Growing up, it was very unusual in our community to have a single mother. My grandma lived with us and took care of me while my mom worked full time. My mother is a very successful attorney. I grew up very privileged and my mom lives a great life and never dated. She’s far and beyond my best friend. She is very active in her community, still works, travels a lot, and has loads of friends.
The things that made it work were 1. Having my grandma as a second parent and 2. Making a lot of money
If your mom had your grandma live with you and help with childcare, was she really a single mom? Yes she was single as far as not in a romantic relationship but I think this situation is very different from being a single parent who has no help with childcare unless it’s paid help.
Exactly. She wasn’t in a partnered relationship but she had someone else there to rely on. Worlds away from a single mom with no one else.
Honestly sometimes it’s scary to be the only adult in the house with no dependents, let alone with dependents! Even something as simple as getting sick alone at home with no one checking in is just a lot worse.
I disagree. In the small towns my family is from in the US and my husband’s (from outside the US), the local grandma caring for the grands is the glue that holds the world together. IMO big city US people who cut ties with a small town are who has to really manage without, but my sense is that for eons, we all lives among the generations, not away from them.
+1.
I’m a single mom by choice. It’s both the best thing I’ve ever done and the hardest (but I would probably say that about being a parent even if I had a partner). I made the decision when I was 38, and had just gotten out of a three year relationship. I did the math and didn’t see how I could meet someone in time to have kids.
One word of caution. It is very lonely. I have two best friends who come for dinner every week and we see most weekends. But it’s not the same, and I still spend most of my time alone with a toddler. And I also just generally saw my friends less once they all entered serious relationships. So, if most of your friends are still single, don’t assume that the level of social interactions you have with them will stay the same in the future.
Well, its more that most of them are partnered and going to have kids soon. So I assume that the level of interaction will go down in any case.
I don’t know how old you are, but that’s the reason I would keep dating. I was perfectly happy being single (and dating) in my 20s and early 30s. But only all my friends partnered up and even more when they started having kids, I got lonely. It went from being easy to find someone to hang out with on the weekends to having to plan a dinner weeks in advance.
Same. The friends all hanging out together and being your chosen people is a fantasy. It’s lonely as hell once they all partner up and you’re relegated to a catchup dinner every now and then. Dating sucks until it doesn’t.
I’m looking for an apparently unicorn piece of furniture:
I would like to replace a table that I bought from Wayfair. It’s a 40×40 counter height black table, with 4 grey high backed chairs. I can’t find one that doesn’t alwso seem like its from a lower qualtiy high volume online brand.
Room and Board has some 40×40 counter height tables.
+1 we had a great counter height table from room and board
What you’re describing honestly sounds like lower quality high volume furniture that is also a bit out of style, unless I’m picturing it wrong. I’d try FB Marketplace.
If you have images of the table you like, you could try a reverse image search or Google Lens to try to identify it and look for the exact one you had.
That’s what I was thinking too. For better quality things, especially tables, I prefer to go vintage or antique, but that style won’t be there. I’d consider a small round table with interesting chairs that fit the space.
What’s your budget for this? You could find nice stools second hand pretty easily and then get a custom made table.
Like $1k total? One of the Room & Board tables would work well so I might get that and then get stools
I wouldn’t discount the lower priced stores. I have a counter height table from Ashley Furniture and it’s still going strong 10 years later. It’s not this specific table but it’s similar: https://www.ashleyfurniture.com/p/maysville_counter_height_dining_table_and_bar_stools_set_of_5/D154-223.html
I couldn’t stop thinking or talking about this paper yesterday, and wanted to share it here as well. Researchers at MIT did a huge cognitive study on what happens when you respond to SAT-style essay prompts, either with your human brain solo or with an LLM. Then they had folks switch – people who were previously Brain Only could use an LLM to write their essays, and people who used an LLM now had to rely on brains alone.
Participants who started as Brain Only and then added an LLM showed more neural connectivity – suggesting that they were engaging in more brain coordination to produce a final product that incidentally scored second-highest as a group when graded by humans. First was human generated text from start to finish.
The paper is here if you’re interested: https://arxiv.org/abs/2506.08872
Huge in what way? The study only had 54 participants and arxiv is a pre-publication platform which means this paper has not been peer reviewed. The idea they are testing is interesting, but this is not conclusive in any way.
I’m always a little perplexed when people criticize a single study for not being conclusive (in what field is that the typical standard?). I think it’s also less and less common for people qualified to review preprints to wait for peer review (though I can see the argument that laypeople should).
Agree, plus OP is presenting a very distorted view of the results. The study also shows that starting with chatGPT resulted in the lowest brain connectivity, boring essays, and students who couldn’t remember anything they wrote. So not exactly a glowing endorsement for the use of AI.
I thought the inclusion of brainwave studies made this more impactful than a lot of AI papers I see. This is my area of focus for work so I spend a lot of time on arxiv (the delays common in traditional academic publishing can result in getting scooped so a lot of good stuff is pre-pub). I also thought the study was well designed, if not large in participants.
I’m very interested in how the use of AI can impact learning and retention, so the paper was right up my alley – and I was tickled by the fact that they poisoned their text to avoid quick summaries by ChatGPT and the like, as well as opening with a quote from Dune.
I read this whole comment as though it was about people with an LLM degree versus “others” and it made zero sense. And then I realized it was about AI…
Right? I have an LLM in tax.
Oh I thought it was about the degree too
You ever enjoy the reactions when you can tell people made a snap judgment about you and then get surprised? As an active overweight (now slightly obese, in fact – thanks pregnancy), I can tell men think i’m a beginner or a soft mark for the sports I enjoy. Last week I did a one-day rafting trip with my friend and we were getting the “beginner treatment.” Then two very slim, fit male guides screwed up their line through the rapids while my (also overweight) friend and I hit it perfectly. Then all of a sudden, they’re coming up to me asking which rivers I’ve run before and how the conditions were. When I was younger, this would have really bothered me, but now I find it funny and like a game. Maybe I’ll have my baby on my hip next time I roll up to the riverfront.
Oh, and the other classic that happens often – fit men on mountain bikes sprint past me on the uphill only to collapse over the bars in 5 minutes as I continue my slow and steady push past them.
yeah, I went from a subject matter expert role to a project management role. Sometimes people meet me and think I am “just” the secretary (although most colleagues treat support staff with respect). I like to slip in offhand remarks about my PhD to shut them up.
Yeah, I have a PhD in a hardish science and especially when I was younger, people were a little surprised when it came up.
Otherwise, I am a small person and in my 20s – 40s, on the fairly slim side. But I was stronger than I looked! I surprised some coworkers when I was able to single-handedly replace the water cooler (those big jugs you flip upside down and then lift onto the dispenser). I also helped some people move one of those really tall ladders and they were surprised that my help made a difference.
I’m in my early 30s in a very male dominated industry and I’m my country’s expert in my field. I sit on international committees and was the lead pen for the international agreement on the subject. People in my field know who I am but occasionally a country will get a new representative or something and I always love being able to casually mention that I coordinated the development of the document they’re so insisting I ‘get up to speed on’. The way their face twists is priceless.
People always assume I’m nice and sweet and calm. Lies all of them!
I’m a working mom with kids in private school. I have lost count of the amount of times at school events when I’ll make a relevant comment about a work thing with a dad during small talk and they then visibly reconfigure their assesment of me from ‘school mom’ to ‘potential networking opportunity’ especially when they hear my fancy company name.
A athletic guy friend of mine recently told me a funny story about kind of underestimating a woman a some kind of corporate running event. I guess he didn’t think she looked like a runner. She absolutely smoked him and he said he nearly had a heart attack trying to keep up. The humility and self awareness he finally arrived at was great.
Earlier in the week I posted about a situation at work where a long time colleague and friend had lost it on me.
I was keeping my head down and being super professional and it had gotten to the point where it was clear he was the one totally out of line. And he called me up out of the blue and totally apologized. I counter apologized and also gave some context which helped resolve it. The situation was more caused by this person’s longstanding issues with feeling like people don’t respect him (they do, that’s the funny part).
Downside is that I still have too much work and am still drowning, but upside is that I’m not having somebody snap at me and is able to actually tell me what they need versus being mad because I don’t have what they think I have.
Thank you for this update! I’m sorry you’re drowning at work, but it sounds like you’re giving him a lot of grace, which is wonderful. And that your work- and friend-relationship is important to both of you.
I was sorry to miss the nightly dinner conversation yesterday. I liked reading it today. Dinner is a family is important when it can happen, but doesn’t trump family activities like sports or work. My partner and I don’t have children but we do nightly dinner–the person who gets home picks up food or starts cooking. It’s a bonding/connecting experience.
If you’ve had any kind of major surgery, is there anything you did in the months leading up that you feel helped you recover more easily on the other side? This is for heart surgery specifically but will take any experiences. I’m asking for the day to day stuff you can do at home on your own, not the things doctors will require anyway like making sure A1C is good etc.
I had a major surgery and for several months before I was 100% sober not a drop of alcohol or anything. For about 5 weeks before surgery I had an absolutely perfect diet, no added sugar, all the veggies, legumes, whole grains etc. The surgeon was super impressed with how fast I healed and the anesthesiologist said I made his life so easy.
I’ve had several surgeries, including one emergency appendectomy and 3 planned foot/calf surgeries. For the planned surgeries, I made sure to think through my daily routine and see where not being able to walk would be a problem and tried to address those. Think things like showering (I bought waterproof cast covers and a shower chair to sit on) and getting around my apartment (bought a knee scooter and made sure it would fit through certain crevices by rearranging things before the surgery). I also planned ahead and not being able to drive – I wasn’t familiar with ordering groceries online so I familiarized myself with that and DoorDash services. Finally, I planned on having friends and family come over on certain days and bring food and help clean up my apartment a little (I have cats and the rugs need to be vacuumed often). I know these experiences are specific to foot surgery and not heart surgery but hopefully they get you thinking about your daily routine. I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Much luck to you with your surgery.
Yikes, I read your post wrong. I thought you meant in the recovery months after surgery! Sorry.
question for daily exercisers who don’t want to be daily hair washers– is wetting it and conditioning ok or does that count as washing? i usually just leave it a day sweaty, maybe use some dry shampoo but there are days when i really want it to look polished and also not wash it? what about using vinegar?
If you want it to look polished you have to do the whole thing. If it just got sweaty from a workout (some sweat is clean so I wouldn’t worry about it) just brush it out and let it dry for a normal day at the office.
Why don’t you want to wash your hair? It’s so much better to get all that sweat and build up off your scalp. If you’re worried about damage, air dry it but girl, wash your hair.
not the OP but my scalp can take only so much. It gets itchy and flaky from daily washing. Already asked my doctor about it but she just said to not wash daily.
I usually alternate workouts so one day is more cardio and one more strength/yoga/stretching. That allows me to alternate wash days.
But if you really want/need to look polished just wash your hair, I don’t see how using vinegar or conditioner is any easier or faster than shampoo tbh.
it’s not easier or faster. i think the question was is it better for you hair
I swear there’s some anti-shampoo lobby pushing this conspiracy. If your hair looks better when you shampoo it daily then just wash it. It doesn’t matter how “healthy” your hair is if it looks and smells dirty.
For real. I will never understand this trend.
I promise it will look dirtier when the scalp starts to disintegrate from overwashing.
I cannot imagine either getting mine wet (or definitely not using vinegar) to avoid a wash. I usually just blow dry the sweat and use a curling iron to refresh a bit. Dry shampoo if needed
I think this depends a lot on your hair type. My hair is fine and oily, and so I would never condition without shampooing – it would be a disaster. But what works for you may be very different.
Just curious – I know there are “vacation” categories for RtR and similar things — how often do you feel like you need a new piece of clothing for vacation? (Have I been missing opportunities to buy a new dress before each vacation?!)
Every time! I always shop for a vacation.
I always weirdly fixate on having the perfect wardrobe for a vacation (which is usually completely unnecessary).
girl the most expensive part of any trip is the shopping and preening in the weeks before :)
I don’t shop because “Vacation!” I usually have to shop because a vacation requires clothing I don’t have or don’t have enough of. E.g., I have a couple of smart casual outfits, but not enough of them to cover a 9-day city vacation. Or I have a bit of outdoor gear, but not enough to cover a long vacation in the mountains. Or I’m going to be a houseguest and discover that I don’t have any loungewear fit to be seen in.
This is usually what spurs my vacation shopping as well. I’ve made it a habit now to try to replace key pieces at the end of a season on sale (bathing suit, a nice cover up, nicer shorts, pretty sun dress).
I have a very hard time with ‘smart casual’ in my 40s. I’m petite and the cute Vuori/Varley lounge outfits are oversized on me and sundresses are sometimes too dressy for sightseeing (or I want pockets!).
Lol literally every vacation always. And then I wear those pieces in normal
Life
7-8 years ago I found 3 jcrew bubble necklaces in a consignment shop and picked them up. I could never afford them when they were a big deal but thought they might have a resurgence in the future, so got them for about 10 bucks each.
My sister says she saw one in the wild a few months ago and that it looked good (but couldn’t tell if it was being worn ironically or unironically.) So what do we think? Is it time, or am I holding them another decade>
All in the styling. Wear it with a current look, like wide leg jeans and flats. Don’t wear it with a pencil skirt and wedges. But I’d absolutely take it out now.
I will be in Seattle in early July. Any favorite restaurants near the Convention Center? I am open to any cuisine but would prefer restaurants that are in the walking distance or 10-minute drive range. I welcome any suggestions for unique/non-chain shopping options nearby as well. Thanks!