Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Side-Shirred Poplin Shirt
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
A classic white shirt is a must-have for my office wardrobe, so I appreciate when brands offer a fun twist on the traditional fit. This side-shirred version from Loft gives a great shape while still looking work-appropriate.
I would pair this with a midi skirt or a great pair of trousers for a perfect business casual look.
The top is $29.99, marked down from $69.95, at Loft and comes in sizes 00-18 and a few lucky petite sizes.
Sales of note for 10/9
- Ann Taylor – 40% off must-have styles, and 30% off your full price purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 25% off
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles with code
- The Fold – Up to 25% off with their Workwear Mix and Match offer
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything + extra 60% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Fall style event! 25% off $500+, 30% off $750+ — try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Nordstrom – 1000+ new markdowns!
- Nordstrom Rack – UGG up to 40% off
- Soma -$25 off when you spend $110+, also get a free bra when you buy two
- Talbots – 30% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $150+
My two front rooms are a living room with a non working fireplace and a formal dining room. The front door opens into the living room but both rooms have a path of travel to the kitchen. The living room has two doors along the fireplace wall to a sunroom. So it has no long walls. And three paths of travel. How weird would it be to make that the dining room and have a front door open into it? And then use the dining room as a living room because it actually has walls and only one path of travel (and a chandeliers, which we put a coffee table under). AI does know the answer when I asked it.
Try it out and see if you like it. It’s just moving furniture around.
I’d hate coming direct into the living room. It’s worth trying it out, you can always swap it back. Do you eat in the formal dining room? If not, I’d find another use for that space?
Now I’m wondering how other people have it. My prior places all enter into a living space. Once I had a tiny entry but it was just an appendage opening into a living area past a pinch point.
Yeah, all but one of the houses I’ve lived in opened into the living room, out of at least ten I can remember, plus several apartments. The only one that didn’t had a stupid useless front room we never knew what to do with.
Same. I was 43 before I moved into a place where you didn’t walk directly into a living space — might have to do with the size of the place you are buying?
I guess my childhood home (1000 square foot cookie cutter home) did enter direct, but there was a bit of an entryway with the hall closet, etc. I always thought my parents should have created a more visual separation. But my UK flat + house all had separate hallways, with a door into the living area/kitchen. But that seems to be fire regs.
I have a vestibule, does that count?
I’m not sure how the walls determine how you want to use the space, but I flipped living and dining area for my house compared to how it was staged, and that has been the right choice for us.
I think it’s that there isn’t a long wall to put a couch along if doorways interrupt the walls.
The house I grew up in has the side door (which is the main door since it’s off the garage and patio and therefore gets the most use!) opening right into the dining room. My parents have lived there for 31 years and it’s been great. The room has three paths of travel (door, and then into the living room and the kitchen).
how could AI possibly help with the physical feel of how you like to use your space??
assuming you actually use both rooms for their intended purposes, just move the furniture around and try it. The only part that seems “weird” to me would be keeping the same chandelier in the middle of the living room, since a piece designed for a dining room is meant to hang too low for a living space.
It may be in flux for a while, but a benefit of having a weird older house is that the ceilings are pretty high. OTOH, there are no overhead lights at all otherwise in either room.
Right? This is a terrible use case for AI because it’s basically a matter of opinion.
AI is so bad for the environment. There are a ton of great applications–I’m not anti-AI. But things like this make me just want to weep for what we’re actually doing.
I read that part as “don’t tell me to ask chatGPT in your answer”
AI can also generate images so the person could use an image of their actual space and use AI to generate additional photos with the furniture arranged without moving it (and with specific colors, etc). I think people on this board just assume AI is like a web search.
I was one who commented above. I understand what it can do, and perhaps I am just more visual than the average person, but I can ‘see’ this kind of change in my own head without needing to run a server farm to do it… how it feels when I’m actually physically occupying the space is what I need to do IRL.
Walking into the dining room seems odd to me, but it depends how often you use the dining room – if your family mostly eats in the kitchen, it won’t be a big deal. My previous house had a tiny (microscopic) foyer which opened directly into the living room. Effectively the left 3-4 feet of the living room were used as a hallway to the back of the house. It didn’t bother me at all. If it bothers you, you could experiment with putting up a temporary half wall such as a short bookcase or room divider to see if that creates a separate foyer-like space.
I would definitely switch. If you like it, move the chandelier. My front door opens into a small foyer and then the dining space. The only negative is that stuff tends to get dumped onto the dining table as we enter. We eat dinner there almost every night so it regularly gets cleared off, but it’s still a pain.
I’d try it, but I’d also see if you can create an entry space that’s distinct from the dining room based on how you lay things out. I’d play with how you orient things, tables or screens, that kind of thing.
Agree. If you don’t use it that much, get a small table and chairs to put on one side of the room, and an entry console table and runner for the side by the front door.
One negative I can see is that if you have a big, accessible table right when you walk in, it will for sure become the dumping ground for everything.
I would much rather have a front door in the dining room than the living room.
My neighbors did this in their house. It’s awkward to use and doesn’t look quite “right.” I think it might be better if they bought a different and smaller dining set, but then they might lose the feel of a dining room. They reconfigured their kitchen and living room, so now they are stuck.
I think it would be pretty weird to walk straight into the dining room.
I am taking the plunge and switching from a shoulder strap bag to a backpack – physical therapist recommended. I am fairly petite (5’1″) and am already mistaken for a student (I’m a partner). Any choice you think will not make me look younger? Does leather squeak? Are any of the options previously recommended here actually easy to adjust/short enough for me, while long/big enough for a laptop? In addition to my commute, I walk 6 blocks for hearings almost every week. No one in my area wheels a bag unless it is a jury trial. I can’t keep carrying everything in a briefcase or shoulder bag.
The black Tumi backpack is ubiquitous among midcareer professional women I know.
Voyageur collection, to clarify.
agree – to the point that if you go with it, also get some kind of small charm to put on one of the zippers to help distinguish from all the other ones! I love mine: right amount and size of pockets and well made. Mine is going on 10+ years at this point.
I’d not care who else is wheeling what and get a rolling bag. It’s your back to take care of. Who cares what other people do.
I’ve been team backpack for over a decade, and am not an expert, but I also travel a lot with a carry on rolling suitcase:
I feel like rolling a bag is honestly not great for your back over time either (with the one arm pulling back awkwardly and unevenly with the rest of your body). For traveling because you have to, fine; but I can’t imagine for day to day it’s better than an evenly distributed back pack.
Look at the Rains backpacks, like their W3.
I like all the Lo and Sons bags I have. I have two of their backpacks!
Yeah, the Rowledge is excellent. Their prices right now are nuts, but it’s a fantastic bag that has held up extremely well.
I work in the Beacon Hill area in boston and walk through the financial district to get there. the VAST majority of people i see out anda out during rush hour are wearing business clothes and carrying backpacks (myself included). often the backpacks have a law firm name or investment bank logo on them. you will be fine.
also, are you really going to be carrying it around your office all day or just for commuting? if the latter, in my opinion its not really “part of your outfit” anyway. but ive never really been into desgner bags and purses for this reason; as long as its sturdy and functional and a subtle color its fine.
sorry i realised i didnt actually answer your question. Im 5’2” and I have a backpack from Topo Designs that ive been using for 3 years and really like.
A former high school classmate moved in down the street from me, and I know I should invite him and the wife over for drinks or something but my house is dirty – last time we had friends over we cleaned for an entire day straight. Am I missing something else obvious? I’m married with a kid at same public school as him and in some of the same activities. In high school we were in a lot of the same honors classes so I knew him (and we went in a small group trip abroad for a week) but I wouldn’t say we were friends. (Also a bit worried he’s Very Catholic while I’m Very Liberal.)
Invite them to drinks at a fun neighborhood spot?
If it’s still warm enough to eat or drink outside, you can do that, otherwise have coffee, drinks, or a meal at a favorite neighborhood restaurant, bar, or coffee shop.
They’ll probably go in to use the bathroom if you host outside.
I agree with the suggestion of a neighbourhood spot for drinks as a fallback if you are just too busy to clean your damn house. (I am too busy to clean my damn house so I just hide everything in one room and only clean the parts that people care about (kitchen, bathroom)
Yeah, if your house is so gross that they can’t even use your bathroom, then the problem isn’t how to entertain your neighbors, it’s how to clean your house. I understand the house not being spotless, but unless you have a health condition or something else that prevents you from cleaning, it should be possible to at least make your bathroom useable, since you also have to live in this house.
Eh I think “usable” and “wanting to show to company” are pretty different.
Only if you have a big ego.
I don’t think this is a fair (or kind) comment. My house is clean – I have a cleaning lady who comes every two weeks – but I do not have an “insta worthy” house and I frankly I hate having people over any more. I have kids and I have clutter. Nothing in our house is white. Our furniture mostly doesn’t match. Our kitchen is dated maple (the horror). But people are so stupidly judgey now.
Do you have to invite him over? Is there a neighborhood bar you can walk to for a casual dinner and drink instead?
I don’t understand the question.
I would invite over for something outside.
Also why is your house in such a state if it bothers you? Can you make an effort to clean it up over a period of a few weeks or months and keep it clean? If you didn’t care, I wouldn’t care, but it sounds like you do care.
Very Catholic can mean many different things. I’m from a very Catholic area and it includes all types and they seem to all fit without sharp elbows under a broad umbrella. He also chose an area where you are, so similar values for neighborhoods and public schools, no?
Also in a very Catholic area, and I agree that this can include many things, but at least in my area, if they chose it for the schools, it’s for the Catholic schools, not the public schools. They might still be quite liberal, though.
Nevermind , I guess she says he had a kid in school with her kid. Though in my neighborhood it’s very common to bounce back and forth between Catholic elementary and public high school or vice versa.
Yeah contrasting very Catholic with very liberal makes it seem as though being very liberal somehow makes someone less Catholic, which is very demonstrably not the case.
I get that some conservatives want to say they’re the Catholicist of all, just like some conservatives want to say they’re the only true Americans, but it’s best not to agree with them! I assume she means he’s that type though.
You cannot be Catholic and be pro choice. Fundamentally incompatible beliefs.
Yet lots of people are. It’s not up to you.
Many Catholics are, though. Most Catholics use birth control. Many think priests should be able to be married. It’s pretty common to disagree with the church.
Yes, actually you can.
You absolutely can. Being Catholic doesn’t prescribe somebody’s politics or what they think the role of government or the law should be. Traditionally Catholic thinking draws strong boundaries between what’s a family concern and what’s a concern of the state.
There are lots of married Catholic priests in the eastern rite. (But they get married first. There aren’t priests looking to get married.)
Many Catholics don’t follow church teachings, but that doesn’t change church teachings. If they want that, there are a slew of Protestant churches that will welcome them.
Well, why are so many Catholic elected officials carrying out executions then?
Destantis – because Catholics, like most people, are terribly inconsistent hypocritical sinners and both a) convince themselves that wrong things are not actually wrong and b) choose to do those wrong things anyway
Tale as old as time.
What’s the point of belonging to a church if you don’t believe in its tenets? Weird.
Belonging to a church because you “believe its tenets” is protestant.
I don’t think this is fair. The Catholic church has official stances; it’s anti-choice and doesn’t support gay marriage. While you can be Catholic and believe in and vote for both those things, it’s unlikely that’s someone who is known socially as “very” Catholic is going to. Most Catholics I know practice theirs like almost every other religion; it’s a mix of tradition and socializing and it doesn’t really impact their worldview or politics. But someone who is “very” Catholic is unlikely to disagree with the hot button issues the church has taken a very clear side on. In my experience that’s a “very” Catholic person’s favorite part; the religious and even scholarly justification for what others deem harmful or bigoted. I don’t think op should avoid this person but yeah it’s absolutely fair to anticipate he has strongly held beliefs that differ from hers.
Their getting pushed around by the USCCB doesn’t make somebody more Catholic. And if their politics are hostile to immigrants or the poor, they’re actually not very Catholic at all.
Honestly, when someone’s bumper sticker say they’re Catholic and they vote do you think they mean anything but voting anti-choice? Because I don’t. It’s fine for you to say others are interpreting their religion wrong but they have actual priests who tell them to vote against women’s rights. And you’ll never be one.
I’m Very Catholic and probably the most liberal voter in my wider neighborhood.
Such a narrow perspective to only be friends with people who are exactly like you. Also, not very liberal either. Clean your house too, not just for entertaining but because that’s gross not to.
Nah you’re not obligated to befriend people you have fundamental moral disagreements with. Matters of taste are not morals.
Some of my friends are Swiftes (I loathe her music) but none of my friends are fascists.
Christ would say otherwise.
Good thing I don’t believe in magic.
You live a very narrow minded life. I’m sorry for you.
What richness do fascists bring to your life?
What richness do you bring? You seem deeply unpleasant and self-righteous.
Just bring over treats and say hi? There’s no rule you have to host a new neighbor. Have a nice time catching up about intervening life, what brought them to the neighborhood, etc. and save Big Topics for if you actually grow close. You also may be pleasantly surprised that faith and general liberal views are not mutually exclusive.
This is what I would do. I don’t think you are required to invite them over or host them anywhere. It is a nice neighborly thing to do though to stop by and bring a treat or something.
+1. This is the way.
I don’t get how, but being very Catholic and very liberal aren’t mutually exclusive. I personally left the Catholic Church and became Episcopalian because I couldn’t square the church’s harmful and antiquated views but plenty of people somehow do
This is why god made house cleaners and/or back porches.
Why do you have to do this at all? Take over a welcome to the neighborhood gift if you want to acknowledge them without socializing.
+1 totally setting aside religion and politics it sounds like you aren’t really close enough to host them, and that’s fine.
It sounds like you’re anxious about something, maybe even something subconscious. If this was really just about reconnecting with an old classmate, you’d just invite them out for a drink or coffee, have a conversation about where your lives are at 25 or 30 years down the line, and be done with it.
Is this about the state of your house? Get help for the house, or go out, or have a backyard fire-pit hangout.
Is this about being in very different places values-wise? You might find you have more in common than you think, especially with kids.
Are you anticipating awkwardness if it doesn’t go well and you have to be neighbors forever? You may not interact as much as you think. It took me an entire year to even meet one of the families on my street when we first moved, and now we’re great friends.
Op – thanks for the comments. Should have clarified – we’re in the burbs, meeting at bar would be very strange here. Open floor plan house. (Huge mistake, at least for us.) Cleaners come every two weeks but we tend to just move stuff around for the cleaners instead of putting it away. (Also a huge mistake I know.) I also seem to be the only one in the house who knows where anything goes.
Any outdoor space?
Take a weekend and organize yourself and have the cleaner come weekly.
Are there no bars in your suburb? I can walk to 3-4, but plenty of people drive to them too…
Take a weekend and work through the fair play deck; or have your kid establish places for all their stuff; or [together] all of you label all the cabinets and storage spaces so you’re not the only one who knows where anything goes! That is an unfair and unsustainable position for you to be in, and sounds like maybe the root of the problem
Maybe this is colored by the fact that I now live in the town I grew up in and I run into this scenario of seeing former classmates quite a bit, but I don’t believe that you’re obligated to host just because you knew each other in high school. I think it’s nice if you truly want to and feel like you want to know them better. We sometimes have neighbors over for a bonfire and drinks, so as long as you clean your nearest entry and bathroom you’d be good.
I would be appreciative and happy if an old classmate a) noticed that I’d recently moved in down the street and b) invited me over for a drink! I would not be judging their house cleanliness.
Invite in confidence!
Clean your house!
I heard a rumor that there are Vuori dupe joggers at Costco. Anyone care to confirm or deny if they’re truly similar feel/quality?
I’ve looked but never actually found them in stock.
Similar in fabric feel, different in fit (wider and shorter). I bought two when they were available online because I was excited to have found them, and passed both to my (shorter) teenage daughter.
Do you prefer to be the big fish in a small pond or small fish in a big pond? Has that changed throughout your life?
I’m having these conversations with my late elementary child as she’s applying for honors middle schools. She’s very smart (but not a genius) and gets top grades without any effort at her regular elementary but she’s nervous about no longer being “the smart kid” at an honors school.
I always preferred to be the small fish in a big pond and built my life around that, but recently took a step back in my career to focus on my family and am in a job that’s frankly too easy for me. I’m getting so much praise for “going above and beyond” when I feel like I’m doing the minimum and it feels great! It doesn’t hurt that I finish my work — including “extra projects” I get asked to do — in 20-30 hours a week and then can just chill.
I was a magnet-school, highly selective college, ‘small fish in a big pond’ kid and then did the same in my early career as well. I still find a lot of value in being challenged, but it’s more nuanced as an adult. I can find a challenge in being on the leadership team at a small company, and it’s a different challenge than if I was working my way up at a giant multinational.
You’re probably already doing some of this, but some suggestions that might work with your kid:
– Validating that you value your kid for who they are, not how well they do in school
– Highlighting the value of being challenged in the school context, and also some of the interesting opportunities that might be more open to her at an honors school vs other options
in the middle? There’s no challenge if you’re the smartest one in the room. Like the ability to dive into problems with a bunch of smart peers and actually relish the process is fun.
I’m currently the big fish and I’m so bored. My ‘peers’ are dumb as rocks. I don’t have anyone to intellectually challenge me and I think my work suffers because of it. When I used to be a small fish having other smart folks to bounce ideas off of and challenge me made my work so much better.
I don’t know that I have a true preference, but specifically for your daughter, I went to a small-town hick school where I was definitely under-challenged, and I’ve long bemoaned that. I’m someone who does better when challenged (my grades were higher relative to my peers in law school than high school), and I think I developed a lot of lazy habits by not having to try very hard in school. It’s worked out, of course (and I often think as a middle-aged mom, I’m probably living a better life as an in-house than I would in the big law world I missed), but I do wish I had been challenged to reach my potential more earlier in life.
I was by far the best student at my small public school and it was really lonely by the time I was 12-13. I switched to a more academically challenging school where there were a lot of people better than me and it was such a relief to (1) be challenged and (2) not stand out as much. Different strokes for different people but I would pick small fish in a big pond every time.
I was a small fish in a big pond – went to a large top-rated public university. My friends who went to smaller and/or less competitive schools got more research opportunities and experience. My niece is pre-med and wants to go to the same school as me but I am encouraging her to consider smaller schools or schools where she can get a good scholarship.
The earlier in life you can be in the big pond, the better off you are. People get walloped when they don’t encounter there big pond for decades. You can choose the small pond as you age, but you need to know what the big sea is.
I was bored out of my mind in elementary & middle school, and I honestly just thought that was what school was “supposed” to be like. It was mind opening – and really changed the course of my life – when I realized I got to a high school with accelerated placements – I just honestly hadn’t realized how good learning at the edge of your capacity could feel.
I know my parents had asked me in middle school if they wanted me to push the school to offer something more challenging (and I was in a subpar district with no advanced/gifted/pullout groups programs) and I always told them I was fine, and please don’t – but for middle schooler reasons, aka I didn’t want to feel any more different than my peers than I already did, I was afraid of “being a bad kid” by causing “problems” for my teachers, and I was pretty sure “advanced” work would mean “here, fill out *even more* of these worksheets that are already boring”. In retrospect, I wish I had said yes, but I just didn’t have the experience or maturity to know what a better education might actually look like. Sharing this as a point that your daughter’s preference is important, but she may not have a good sense of what she is actually choosing at this age.
I’ve always preferred being the big fish in the small pond. Or more realistically, medium fish in the medium pond.
Does anyone have recs for black pants that are comfortable, full length, and not leggings or athletic-looking joggers? looking for something I can wear to my casual job where I end up sitting and typing a lot. I wear a lot of jeans but black jeans aren’t what I want for this… would prefer something that feels natural-ish (so not like the slick ponte from quince) but some stretch would also be great, so I’m open to suggestions on material!
Try these:
https://fahertybrand.com/products/stretch-terry-patch-pocket-pant-washed-black?variant=40459087315013&glCountry=US&glCurrency=USD&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22730965149&gbraid=0AAAAADu3V2I6kUZoCVPsbFwohqR1pO6Y9&gclid=CjwKCAjw0sfHBhB6EiwAQtv5qWHgkOBAeEBDlO9TRUrfsAVq7cCWd95BPy7313GYPIQEqABFUkxlgxoCb4cQAvD_BwE
I have them in olive & love them
ooh I’ve actually been eyeing these! did you size regularly or up? I’m a little worried about them being tight in the lower waist/crotch area…
J. Crew Factory Lizzie high-rise patch-pocket wide-leg pant. They’re woven, cotton (cottony?) but have some stretch. I found them true to size.
thank you! these also look promising!
I wear these multiple times a week: https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/pants/flare/CF267?display=all&fit=Classic&colorProductCode=CF267&colorCode=BK0001
I am really happy with the Old Navy Pixie line of pants. This coming from someone who hasn’t bought anything but a few activewear pieces from ON since post-college. They’re so comfortable and decent quality, and always on sale.
Hmm, I actually have two shirts very similar to this one that I bought from the Express and/or the Limited in approximately 2004, that I always really liked but at some point just stopped wearing (but never got rid of, since I did really like them and they seemed in fine shape). I was just looking at one the other day thinking I should pull it back out again.
It’s super cute but looks like a real b*tch to iron.
Oh, yeah. I think that’s why I stopped wearing them!
Send it out to be ironed.
Just had a massive fight with my husband and I feel terrible about it. Tips for reconciling? Ugh today sucks.
Go say I’m sorry.
Say I’m sorry when you can say it without expecting to hear it back.
Yeah, there are few fights that aren’t solved by “I’m sorry and I love you”. Even if he was wrong too. Once we simmer down we both acknowledge our mistakes and find the best way forward. Sometimes it’s hard to do, but it works.
Give yourself time to calm down. Use a bit of gentle humor if you can when you’re diffusing things – an inside joke about grape seltzer or whatever little thing.
Tell him you’re sorry for the way you acted. Tell him that you feel terrible and gross about it. Say you’re sorry.
go apologize sincerely for whatever – overreacting, whatever – assuming you’re feeling terrible about having picked the fight as opposed to the underlying issue.
On Sunday, I applied for a job for which I am an excellent fit. I talked to a friend of mine who works at the company and is familiar with the job opening on Wednesday, and he forwarded my resume to the head of the department doing the hiring. I know from our conversation that the department head is OOO this week and they aren’t expected to even start looking at applicants until next week. But I just received an automated rejection email from Workday, the application software, telling me they’ve “moved forward with an applicant who better suits our needs.” HR glitch? Should I follow up with my contact? I don’t want to be a Nervous Nelly for no reason!
I would follow up with your contact and explain what happened. Hopefully it is just a glitch. Good luck!
Move on. You have been rejected. Say nothing to your friend until a week after the hiring manager is back.
On another note, the recruitment process at companies is entirely broken. I’m not the problem when I qualify for 600+ jobs I’ve applied for and don’t get call backs for at least 50 positions. Something is seriously wrong. Either they aren’t real jobs or I’m being discriminated against for some reason.
Anon @ 10:57 – wait, if you got callbacks for 550/600 jobs you are a) doing fantastic and b) should probably have an offer by now — that’s a ratio that would encourage me to ask a friend to do a practice interview or check on my references or something – your resume/cover letter/initial application materials seem like they’re on point
I read this as “I was expecting CBs for at least 50/600 but didn’t even get that.”
Workday probably does an initial auto-screen of the applicants, and for whatever reason, your resume didn’t make the cut. I think you could still say something to your contact – maybe he can get the hiring manager to take a second look.
That being said, if it were me, I would tend to operate under the assumption that this job is not going to work out.
Definitely check with your friend at the company. If he forwarded your resume to the department head, then he’s at least a little invested in helping you out. There are so many possible reasons you were rejected – internal candidate, you didn’t meet the screening requirements, position is being cut, someone clicked the wrong button in Workday – but having a friend on the inside means that you may still make it to an interview, and even if you don’t, you may be able to learn what happened.
Definitely reach out to your contact. We just hired someone whose resume was rejected by the ATS bc she reached out to a contact.
Can anyone recommend a divorce attorney in the SF East Bay Area?
Chapter 13 here. How do you battle imposter syndrome when starting a new job? I’m starting a new job on Monday with a Big 4 (yay!) but I am suddenly riddled with anxiety that I won’t be as smart as they thought, won’t be as great as they thought, etc. I’m trying to tell myself that they hired me for a reason.
Something that’s bothering me and not helping – I was out last night with a group of friends and a friend of a friend had previously worked for this firm. He only worked there for a year fresh out of college and was in a completely different business line than where I will be. But he shared he had a bad experience and while that did not bother me (we won’t even remotely be working with the same people) he gave a retort that did hurt. I shared that I, so far, have had a good experience and really vibed with my interviewers. I even received a verbal offer on the spot during the second interview because they liked me so much and we got along so well. To that, he rolled his eyes and said “yeah, they were probably desperate.” It was just really rude and it did sting. His comment is starting to mess with me and my imposter syndrome that I was already struggling with.
Sounds like he can’t handle a woman who is better and more capable than he is. A lot of young men are like this.
In a very weird way, it’s a compliment.
what an a$$. he’s just bitter it didn’t work for HIM.
I’m sorry he was a buttface. He’s napping his feelings onto you — you don’t have to pick up the tray of crap he’s set down.
Mapping his feelings! Not napping his feelings – what a funny typo
Hmm, sounds like this guy lacks either the self & social awareness to understand rude things to say, or the self control to not actually say them anyway. Not surprised a job didn’t work out for him! But *you* recognize that was a really rude thing to say, and wouldn’t have said it, I think you’ll do just fine :)
He’s a jerk, ignore him. I worked in Big4 for 15+ years before moving in house and one of the things that I give them a lot of credit for is that they are very commited to training and being very explicit around structure, approach, templates to use, etc. You will have access to lots of training, files of previous docs to review/learn from, and coaching from your team. You’ll be expected to learn fast, take feedback (and act on it), and synthesize quickly but it’s not rocket science. You’ll do great!
That was a really rude thing for him to say. Not to excuse him, but I bet this comment is more a reflection on his awful experience (he had a bad experience = bad workplace = must be desperate to hire b/c turnover) than you. Do your best to blow that off.
As for imposter syndrome … all I can say is that ever since I moved to a corporate role I am stunned, just absolutely stunned, by how incompetent and/or lazy almost everyone seems to be. After observing how my boss managed to fail up into this role and some how find “success” (at least on paper) despite being how he is, I can’t believe I ever experienced imposter syndrome.
This is a comment that reflects more on him than you. A confident person wouldn’t say that. He’s blaming the company for his bad experience and completely absolving himself of any role. Like 11:03, I speculate he wouldn’t have been quite as offended if someone he sees as his equal, like another man, had your experience.
Some people really like to rain on your parade. I work at a very large international company, and someone I know had a bad experience with the company in a completely different office/department. When I was hired and shared with my friends, they made so many snarky comments about how I made a mistake and was going to hate it. It’s by far the best job I’ve ever had.
He was rude (I cannot type out what I really think)!
It is normal to have imposter syndrome for the 1st three months.
You are going to shine!
I joined a big 4 firm recently. Before I started, a friend made negative comments about a family member who had a bad experience there (similar to what happened to you!). Remember, people’s experiences vary wildly depending on line of service, team, and role. So don’t take these stories to heart because they may have zero application to your life. Other than an intense onboarding experience the first week, my job has actually been pretty slow with lots of time for training. There are formalized processes for everything. I’m trying to trust this will work out rather than tune into every little fear. People have been friendly and smart. Not a shark tank environment yet anyways! And at least the pay and benefits are good! I’ve worked at very stressful jobs for less than half of what I’m making now. It’s a relief to be working at a company that has a viable business model and strong reputation.
Looking for casual v neck t shirts with vs that are both wide and deep (or at least deepish). Don’t need to be able to wear this to the office, just for casual stuff. Could be my own poor shopping skills, but much of what I’m finding these days is pretty narrow, and what isn’t narrow is quite shallow. Neither of those quite works for me.
Try the Gap, which has gotten good again. The neckline on the organic cotton vintagesoft t shirt looks like what you’re describing.
Favorite knock off air pods? I need something in the interim while i keep looking for mine
Go without and feel the natural consequences of losing them for a while so when you do find them, you’re more mindful of what you do with them.
Wow. Really nailed the unnecessarily rude and judgy tone you were going for, Anon @11:42. You can log off now, your work is done.
She’s not wrong though.