Suit of the Week: Burberry
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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Also: we just updated our big roundup for the best women's suits of 2025!
Asymmetric buttons? Sign me up for this suit from Burberry!
I'm a sucker for any asymmetric detail on workwear, but the buttons on this blazer really elevate the look.
Interestingly, NET-A-PORTER describes the suit's color as “green,” which… ok. I'm not a fan of the white boots, but you do you!
The blazer is $2190 and the pants (pleated, alas) are $990, both available in UK sizes 6-16, at NET-A-PORTER (and down to lucky sizes at Nordstrom).
Sales of note for 6/12/25:
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals up to 25% off + designer clearance up to 60% off
- Nordstrom Rack – Refurbished Dyson hairdryers down to $199-$240 (instead of $400+)
- Ann Taylor – 30% off pants + skirts + extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new womenswear styles
- Eloquii – 50-60% select styles + extra 45% off all sale
- J.Crew – Easy summer styles $39.50+ + extra 50% sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off 3+ styles + up to 60% off everything + extra 50% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – 30% summer essentials with code + try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Free shipping on everything
- Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale: Extra 60% off 3+ markdowns, 50% off 2, 40% off 1 + 30% off select travel must-haves
For those who have moved after college / grad school:
How many local good friends do you have now, and how long did it take you to establish those friendships?
26 and 15 years. But like adding some every year!
26 good friends?
Maybe we need to define what a good friend is!
Nah, you live long enough you make friends! I’ve got at least that many close friends too.
It’s really hard! I don’t know that I have 15 good friends total.
We moved to my hometown 10 years ago and my closest friends are 2 from high school and 3 from specialty mom activities. I know maybe 30 more people locally who might notice if I died, ha.
12, and ~5 years
I have two local good friends, and it took a year or two to establish those friendships
30+ years ago! I am still in touch with my two closest girlfriends from my senior year of college, but they both live a flight away so we just text our wordle results daily and sometimes that leads to a text catch up. We are still trying to figure out when all three of us can be in the same city at the same time but I’ve gotten together individually with each of them in the last 3 or so years.
I’ve made most of my closest friends since then at work, to be honest. I think proximity helps a lot. Through one of my closest work friendships recently fizzled, which is still upsetting to me, because that was a 20+ year friendship. But people change.
Recently, I’ve made more friends in my neighborhood (again, proximity) and through my dog.
Anyone struggling to meet people – I honestly suggest a dog! Mine is a rescue and I’ve met people just walking her, and through meetups with a local breed-specific online group.
I did college and grad school in my hometown, then moved to the US 8 years ago. Here I have 10ish good friends and tons of acquaintances.
8 I think? It took a solid two years to make the first *good* friends.
Absolutely zero. We’ve lived in this town for 2.5 years.
Our last town, I had one very good friend and two close acquaintances. We all moved away and things have faded.
My college boyfriend (now husband), college roommate and many other college friends moved to NYC after college. I don’t think I picked up new friends during that time but stayed close to the ones I have.
My best friends are my mom and sisters, and I think that has made me less in need of finding other close friends…I’d take one or two, though!
(Note that I have a very high bar for considering someone a “friend”, and a strong streak of introversion/social anxiety)
1 or 2 good friends, but they aren’t the same good friends that I made when I moved 27 years ago. I have other non local friendships going back 40 plus years.
I have been dealing with a stressful event and the fallout for about a week now. Things are relatively under control and it will get better, but I can’t get the anxiety out of my body. Last night I woke up at 1:30 a.m. and was up for an hour ruminating and thinking. Even hard exercise hasn’t helped. Any ideas?
Keep up with the hard exercise, and go for the kind where you’re not in your head. Instead of swimming laps do an aerobics class. I’d also try to come up with a ritual to get you through it – a massage or a new lipstick or new piece of jewelry. Not to be reminded of the stressful thing, but that you persevered. (Tattoo?) I also like silly books to get you out of your head, the kind where you can’t wait to get to the end.
if it was PTSD level try Tetris.
Not OP, but thanks for the Tetris suggestion. I think I need this. I don’t know if I have PTSD, but I have recently really had my world shaken and have been struggling to get loosen the anxiety. I really need to get to the gym, too. I know that will help tremendously but the disruption has taken up a lot of my free time.
Have you tried journaling and doing narrative writing about the event? You can Google this. It’s also good for trauma responses and also for improving insomnia and sleep.
Hmm. Not really my thing but I appreciate the suggestion and perhaps I will get to a point where I try it.
I’m a different poster, but I really encourage you to give this a try. It’s like a poor man’s substitute for counseling, but really works in a unique way to help you work through bad experiences, and sometimes let things go.
What is Tetris?
https://play.tetris.com/
Do you have a favorite riveting book you could re-read, a movie or series you can binge? Some really dirty yardwork you can immerse yourself in, or a craft or hobby project you can lean into hard? Exercise doesn’t usually get me out of my thoughts, but that is the type of stuff that does.
I’ve been doing this (and mine was more PTSD adjacent so I did do the Tetris thing). Maybe see if gentle exercise actually helps more (like a LONG easy walk instead of intense/hard exercise to improve sleep and not accidentally increase stress hormones). If you ever take a multivitamin or B complex or minerals, you probably need those more now than you usually do.
I find it’s just hard to manage thoughts when waking in the middle of the night (so that is also when I have my most irrational thoughts). So I don’t know if this is good or bad, but if I can read something narrative, or watch something until I’m tired again, I think there’s no downside to just skipping those racing thought sessions. It’s probably different if it’s actually helpful needed thinking about an ongoing situation. For me the worst case thing already happened and isn’t ever going to change, so it is more about drowning out what ifs.
I take a melatonin around 30 mins before I go to sleep at times like this. If you enjoy this, maybe a spa day or a good massaged. Something to break out of the routine.
I have a tendency to ruminate so to go to sleep (or back to sleep when I wake up) I have been listening to yoga nidra meditations on YouTube. I would also recommend taking a yin yoga class to help with stress. There are trauma informed yoga teachers out there so maybe there is one in your community you can take a class from.
A well worn audiobook is my method for falling back asleep. In high stress periods, I’ll wake up five times a night, but the audiobook can get me back to sleep in 15 minutes usually, so I still get some rest.
+1
OP when you are ruminating at night you have to break it. Either get up and read/walk, or turn on a podcast/radio with autoshuttoff, or write down exactly what you are worrying about with a “plan” for tomorrow. Just the act of writing down any sort of “plan”, can be a release, and allow you to sleep.
Maybe download the UCLA mindfulness App and try some of the exercises (ex. mind/body scan) to help distract/relax you when you have trouble sleeping.
this is what I do too
Weed gummies. Mine are a mix of CBN, CBD, and THC. They work better than anything else ever has, and I don’t feel anything the next day. At all.
+1! Best thing I did for my sleep.
Not OP but I’m terrible with staying asleep and I’m intrigued. I’ve taken THC gummies for fun but I thought they decreased the quality of your sleep. Do you not feel lethargic the day after?
Not at all. I buy mine from luxe delta. I only take a very small dose (1/4 of the gummy). I falls sleep within 30 mins of taking it, sleep through the night, and wake up energized (I often workout first thing in the AM and its no problem).
Same for me. Start with small amounts – I typically do 2.5-3 mg. I’ve never felt groggy. I like Wana’s stay asleep gummies.
I like Camino brand Blackberry sleep (or something like that) and I take half.
It’s not what I do if I want to actually get high. That’s more THC heavy than the sleep ones.
Damn, okay, you all are convincing me to try some sleep gummies!
Same. Wyld, strawberry. They helped me get back into a sleep routine.
Put on your favorite comfort show and lean into it. Personally, I find Star Trek TNG is great for background noise around this time, and is very even keeled sound wise to lull you happily to sleep. The Great Pottery Throw Down is another show that is exceedingly soothing.
You guys have some great suggestions! Thank you. Not a PTSD-level event, but definitely something that’s left me feeling rattled and is resulting in some second-guessing.
Throw in aaaall the brain candy in addition to the Tetris suggestion. Operation distraction. For me this would be romance novels and the NYT games app.
I discovered “vertical dramas” which at other times might be a sign of the times kind of thing for me, but they were just the kind of brain candy I needed to break the thought spirals when I was waaay too sleepy to be rational.
I frequently wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety over something that’s usually work related. Even if I know something isn’t an issue / problem, I can’t stop thinking about it. Not logical at all. My solution is to put on a show on my phone and just listen to it while I try to fall back to sleep. I’ve gone through a variety of shows over the years, varying from Great British Baking Show to Gilmore Girls to Law & Order to documentaries. Something that keeps my attention enough to avoid ruminating (or trying to) but isn’t so exciting or suspenseful that I want to know what happens urgently. Not sure how healthy a coping mechanism it is, but that’s what has (kind of) worked for me.
This often happens to me. I realize my brain needs more resolution so I spend time journaling about it. I end the journal entry with “advice to self” where I encourage myself or put it in perspective or offer advice like I would to a friend. In the moment, it can be hard to think of anything good to say, but re-reading my “advice to self” is very comforting and helpful days later and ends the journaling on a more positive note than pure spiraling.
Calm app. I find I do better when my brain focuses on something else when I need to sleep. Audiobooks don’t work as well probably because they’re meant to be engaging while sleep stories are read at a pitch to encourage sleep.
Otherwise, the normal insomnia advice to not lay in bed if you can’t sleep. Get up and do something else and go back to sleep when you get tired.
Love the Calm app. I use their daily meditation—only 10 minutes in the morning— and love their bedtime stories!
The Calm app increases my anxiety. I can’t be the only one with that reaction.
Any suggestions for a vegetarian dinner party menu for between 6-10 ppl? I’m looking for something that can be made ahead and that could be flexible if 11 people. Thanks in advance!
Baked ziti and salad (personally I’d go with something balsamic based to balance the pasta). For dessert I like doing things that are in individual portions like hand pies or cookies.
This is what I would do too. Or some sort of vegetarian lasagna.
+1
Keep it simple.
Could even make some garlic bread. Yeah carbs for parties!
Onion pakora with chutneys (jarred are fine), bhindi masala, chana masala, rice and naan. The chana masala can be made the day before and reheated before serving.
Oooo this sounds so good.
And all of it’s easy. I find frying to be a bit of a pain, so don’t do it as often, but the rest is an easy weeknight meal.
Not easy! Indian food takes a ton of time to do all the chopping, cooking, spice prep when you are following real recipes. And all those dishes…. Oh my.
It really doesn’t. I do it all the time, particularly for vegetarian guests.
Indian food tends to be one that folks absolutely love or hate. I’d try to know which way my guests fall if you go this route.
Dinnerparty with courses?
Starter:
Baked mushrooms with walnuts and blue cheese, baked filled peppers,
Butter sauteed chantarelles on mini toast
Caprese
Gaspacho
Soup:
Butternut squash soup, carrot and ginger soup, potato and leek soup, celeriac and butterbean soup.
Pasta course:
Spinach and ricotta/feta/blue cheese and pine nut lasagna.
Penne with a putanesca sauce
Lentil moussaka if no pasta is better.
Main course:
Baked cauliflower with fondant celeriac, roasted or steamed veg and mushroom umami sauce.
Beet and chevre quiche.
Curries of all sorts.
Green salad on the side.
Crunchy salad on the side.
Scalable dessert: fruit crumble with custard, pavlova with fresh berries.
Nibbles:
Dips like guacamole, hummus, baba ganouch, salsa, cowboy candy, black bean dip with tortilla chips and vegetables.
Sounds delicious.
I think I need some head pats. I found some mildly explicit YouTube searches on my 7th grader’s phone. The phone was locked down, but we had unlocked it so he could download a game a few weeks ago, and then forgot to lock it back. We’ve corrected that and are going to tighten up on no phones in the bedroom, etc. We’re not big on shame in our house, and this is natural curiosity. Still, I don’t want him stumbling on something he’s not ready for or finding anything of questionable legality. I’m going to let him know we got an alert for inappropriate searches and explain why we don’t think it’s appropriate. I’m also going to reaffirm that he can always come to us with questions, etc. I’m trying hard not to make this into something bigger than it is while also taking it seriously. This parenting thing is hard.
I assume these are gardening related queries? If so, I think 7th grade is the time where you turn a blind eye unless they’re getting concerning. Welcome to the hormone years, haha.
This. Unless this was ab*sive or illegal content I would not say anything. My husband was a camp counselor for 7th-8th grade boys. They’re astoundingly h*rny.
Agree. Pretend you don’t know. Don’t think about why the showers are so long now, or why your son is suddenly washing his own bedding.
Let your kid have some basic privacy.
Been there, done that. I have a healthy, well-adjusted college senior now and we still don’t talk about this with him, because it is private!
I disagree. P0rn is very different from long showers. It is inherently exploitative and creates unrealistic expectations in boys’ minds that are very harmful to women. No one, especially not impressionable young boys without critical thinking skills, should be viewing it.
ok
Same. I came of age when it was very very normalized, so it’s not like I’m clutching my pearls over it, but similar to excessive smart-phone use, we’re finding out that there is damage from too much exposure to this kind of thing at too young an age.
Agreed. No one wants to deal with just how horrifying it really is.
Don’t lie and say you got an alert when you actually went looking.
I don’t think kids are owed the absolute truth in these scenarios. They don’t own or pay for the phone or internet. Their use is at the mercy of their parents and they should know that there is no privacy component here.
I think the OP has a valid concern re questionable legality issues. Kids don’t know the consequences of some searches.
You don’t know for sure that the kid doesn’t pay for this themselves. When I was young I had to pay for my own phone from my babysitting job, my relationship with my parents never recovered when they stole it.
We pay for his phone. When we got it for him, we made clear he didn’t have any sort of expectation of privacy on it. We have admittedly been lax about checking it, but it’s not a secret or anything.
Knowing 7th graders and knowing what I pay for my own phone plan, I think the commenter is on solid ground assuming kid doesn’t pay for his own phone/service.
Anon @3:06, you might want to use this as a jumping off point for looking for a new data plan! I was shocked at how cheap plans were (compared to my legacy carrier) when I comparison shopped last year.
Doesn’t matter whether the kid pays for it himself. Under mom’s roof, under mom’s rules.
He knows we have his password, occasionally check his phone, etc. We’re very open about that. I was just trying to save him from the knowledge that his mom knows he was searching for the exact term “big lady melons.”
🤣 that’s somehow wholesome
How is that even close to illegal?
I would assume that the search results would include problematic material.
It’s not, but YouTube is kind of a cesspool, and a search like that, which is pretty tame, turns up some really questionable stuff. I don’t want him to accidentally stumble on something abusive or illegal.
Totally get OPs concern. If algorithm
recommendations are on, ytube can send him on a downward spiral, it doesn’t really matter that the search started very harmless, the algorithm wants to engage, hook and keep your attention, and to do that will trend more extreme, not his fault at all!
Why would you bring that up? That’s developmentally appropriate and normal. Don’t make him hide more
+1
Boy, are you going to be embarrassed when it turns out he was just trying to figure out who the world champion female watermelon grower is.
You win!
Hahaha leave him alone. That is adorable.
Right? This is the kind of thing you file away for 25 years from now when he has his own kids and is freaking out about something equally cringy but inconsequential. Play the long game.
Late catching up to this, but my point wasn’t that kid should expect privacy on the phone, just that a made-up alert is a flimsy cover, and if you’re trying to maintain trust with your kid, starting with a bad cover story is not a good way to do it.
My kids know that I reserve the right to look at anything on their phones at any time. No need to lie.
Poor buddy just wants a little treat
Maybe you already have this covered, but I’d also take this as an opportunity to make sure your kid knows where to go with questions and get good information. Like, you can keep him from porn for a time, but when he eventually encounters it, you want him to know what’s realistic and respectful, and what’s fake or harmful.
My parents got me a subscription to a weekly magazine back in the day that answered reader questions on typical teen stuff. I just heard about YouTube Crash Course sex ed – haven’t checked it out. No idea what schools offer or maybe you can talk with your son directly, although my parents would never…
Realistic and respectful p0rn doesn’t exist. We want to believe it does because the alternative (that men we know enjoy watching women suffer) is too awful to think of.
I meant he should know what respectful romantic and/or sexual relationships look like in reality, so he can spot the difference when he eventually encounters porn.
I agree, but you wrote it that he should be recognizing what’s respectful when he eventually encounters p0rn. He won’t be recognizing anything respectful there.
well you are hell-bent on misinterpreting what I wrote.
Thanks, everyone. Good food for thought. The game-plan is to turn off access to YouTube for now and be stricter with rules about phones in bedrooms. Other than that, I’m gonna pretend like I never saw anything. His dad is gonna have a more general conversation with him about algorithms and being careful on the internet without mentioning anything specific. He’s got all the books and I may point him to Scarletteen later. He’s such a good kid. It’s really hard watching your very sweet little boy grow up. It’s also awesome, but hard.
I use Bark for my daughter’s phone. When she looks up something like this they have talking prompts which can be helpful.
In addition, at this age a lot of my conversations are around consent. I would have Daddy talk to him about it.
This is a good plan. Don’t shame him about it.
I cannot believe these responses. No, viewing internet p0rn is not cute and innocent. Where do you think men learn to be incels and r@pists? Y’all have been brainwashed to believe that pandering to men and putting up with their nonsense is your free choice and makes you cool. Condoning p0rn is not feminist and it’s not cool.
The most ironic part is that then you turn around and bemoan the fact that men are awful. Where do you think they learned to be awful?
I don’t even disagree with you about what you’re talking about, but take a deep breath. My impression was that it agreed on that YT algorithms and escalation could be an issue. Unless you really think that the lady melons search was enough for this screed?
There’s some really awful and easily accessible stuff out there. It’s not even the same ballpark as sneaking a look at magazine from a friend’s older brother.
+1
I’m the OP and don’t disagree that this could be a slippery slope; and that’s why we’re taking some steps to try to prevent that. I’m not as comfortable as some posters with just letting it go entirely (and I don’t feel bad monitoring his phone), but I really appreciated the responses that gave a different perspective and also helped me have some perspective.
Hopefully his dad and other men are modeling how to treat women. His dad or you should be having ongoing discussions about pornography and consent. There was a little girl who gave a boy o*** s** on the bus when my son was in 6th grade and that opened discussions for us about. My husband and brother were great at modeling good behavior but not talking so I was the one who talked more to our young son as a teen. Also, don’t forget to tell him not to take nude pictures of himself!
Yep – lots of good models, and lots of talk about consent already happening. We’ve had the conversation about nude pictures many times and about how catfishers will use them to try to blackmail kids.
Completely agree with you. I’m also sick of the anti-p0rn arguments that focus on how it harms boys, like how it sets unrealistic expectations for their performance in bed later. Um no, that is not a big problem compared to the incredible violence against and exploitation of girls and women.
Perhaps you cannot believe the responses because you’re simply not reading them honestly. No one said that “viewing internet p0rn is cute and innocent.” People are commenting on a very specific scenario – a 7th grader’s search term – that reflects a naïve and somewhat comical age-appropriate curiosity. There is room for that belief and the belief that p0rn is problematic. No one is condoning p0rn. This is a great opportunity for OP to begin discussing why it is problematic and the risks of internet searches that may, to him, a child, seem harmless. But I’m not going to lambast a child for searching for a term like that or claim that refusing to punish him is some kind of affirmation of men’s exploitative conduct. Please, stop trying to make drama.
A bunch of posters said to let it go and not to monitor his internet usage. One used the term “innocent.” OP is right to restrict her son’s access, and all the people calling it harmless are off base. That is the point.
Who said innocent? Someone said wholesome, but that was a reference to the kid’s search term, not to Internet p0rn.
I don’t see the word innocent, but I do see “wholesome,” “normal,” and “adorable.”
If you don’t think “big lady melons” is funny, take a walk. Touch grass. Do some deep breathing.
I don’t see a single person telling the parent not to monitor or limit internet usage. But it would be awful to shame her son for normal curiosity and going through puberty.
This.
My parents are very wealthy, but have never put a particular value on food or cooking. Think: primary diet being random snacking. As they get older, I want to make sure they are eating three healthy meals a day. Is there a food subscription service that is very healthy and also provides both lunch and dinner daily?
I think providing a city would help. Do you want a service that drops off food 3 times a day or are you okay with twice a week and they need to reheat? There are tones of these services where I live, but the quality ones are more local businesses and not really chains.
This is nice! I’d stick to two meals a day and let them do their own random breakfast, otherwise the food will pile up uneaten.
This.
3x a day is too much.
This would be so out of line if they haven’t asked for exactly this.
Thistle.
Do your parents want to change their eating habits? My dad is 75 and also very wealthy, but he has zero interest in eating healthy. My point is, I would just make sure that your parents want your help with this before you go too far down the rabbit hole.
This feels right to me. My parents are middle class but as they’ve gotten older (60s in my case) they just want less food. I think letting them snack but providing 1-2 meals a day will let them decide what they like/don’t like.
This. My wealthy 70-something parents basically never cook. They get restaurant delivery 2-3 nights a week and eat leftovers and frozen/ready-to-eat things the rest of the time. It’s not healthy but it’s their life and I’m not going to invest energy fighting them about it. Also especially for my dad he has a lot of much less healthy habits (being very sedentary, eating copious amounts of ice cream, etc.)
This is the answer. If they’ve asked for help finding a service, then definitely help them. Otherwise, they’re eating the way that they want to and will continue doing regardless of what’s delivered to their house. We only change when we want to or absolutely have to; it sounds like they don’t fall into either category.
This. My parents were always three meal a day people, but now in retirement, they basically eat one meal, mid-day, and otherwise snack. They just don’t seem as hungry and I know they don’t like eating anywhere close to bedtime. I mean, if your dad’s snacks are all pringles and funyons, maybe you could make suggestions. But if he’s having an apple mid-morning and cheese and crackers at 3pm, just let it go.
Tovala oven? I’ve often wondered if a good use case for it would be older folks who either want extreme convenience, or are not good at cooking. Widowed men who want something simple to prepare, tasty and healthy seem like a no-brainer target market for that thing.
I don’t think you can control the eating habits of adults, sorry.
I don’t think this will go over how you want it to. If they wanted to change their eating habits, they would. My mother and my MIL both have different, but awful, eating habits. My mom doesn’t eat enough, and my MIL is ordering takeout for the majority of meals because she has zero desire in any kind of meal prep, kits included. We have expressed our concerns. They do not want to change, and I’m not going to fight them on some long-ingrained habits anymore.
A few country clubs in my city offer this service. The yacht club and the tennis club both have this as an option for the restaurant. I would set them up with a daily dinner meal delivered weekly or twice a week through a nice local meal prep service. They can easily do cereal for breakfast and sandwiches or soups for lunch on their own.
Your parents are adults, let them eat how they want to.
Yeah these questions are so wild. How do I get adults who aren’t hurting anything to behave in a different way for no reason other than I want them to?
I felt like I could relate. My mom thinks differently as she gets older and it does affect how she eats and whether she eats enough sometimes. I guess I would want some help and support if I were getting less comfortable in my kitchen, uncertain about whether specific foods were flaring up new medical conditions or not, and sort of just avoiding food until hungry enough to snack.
Sure, in that case you could ask if she wants help. But here the OP seems to say that her parents have always been this way.
I have Factor meals delivered — they deliver nationally. They are healthier but they also have some meals that are higher calorie. But also you don’t have to cook proteins and vegetables for every meal for 2 people which can be annoying. I send 7 meals a week but you can easily do more or less.
I don’t know how old your parents are. I am about to turn 70 and I totally do not need three meals a day, and would gain weight if I had even two “average” meals a day plus a snack. The key is ensuring protein, fiber and fresh fruit and vegetable intake is a high portion of the daily mix, along with adequate water.
They aren’t your children, did they ask for this intervention?
I’m looking to purchase the Eames Molded Plastic Side Chair for our kitchen table. Two questions:
1) Other than Craigslist/Facebook, any other sites for second-hand furniture? (I’d prefer to buy used, if possible.)
2) Does DWR (or Herman Miller) do sales?
Link: https://www.dwr.com/kitchen-dining-chairs-benches/eames-molded-plastic-side-chair/100366607.html?lang=en_US&sku=100366607
every furniture store online has the knockoff version of these chairs for like $50 a chair or less. I’d look around online unless you are committed to Herman Miller/actual Eames only. I’ve also seen these on marketplace occasionally. I used the knockoff chairs as dining chairs for 3 or 4 years and they were fine (only got rid of them because I moved)
Totally. I’m open for an Eames-inspired chair, but my two non-negotiables are: (1) Being able to try the chair in-person (which rules out a number of knockoff versions); and (2) Longevity. Once something enters my house, it never leaves — so I’d rather spend more and have it last.
HM does sales about twice a year, and DWR does sales as colors go out of style. It will not be a huge discount – think 10% at most. So, with lead times/tariff uncertainty, I’d probably just pull the trigger now. In other second hand sites, I’d check Chairish.
Ooof I didn’t even think about tariffs. But yes, this makes sense.
I would not generally suggest unvetted second hand (like marketplace or CL) for an iconic piece unless you have the expertise to determine if it’s a fake or not.
1stdibs is a good website for second hand goods.
I would not generally suggest unvetted second hand (like marketplace or CL) for an iconic piece unless you have the expertise to determine if it’s a fake or not.
1stdibs is a good place for second hand vintage/antique furniture.
Look at Chairish: https://www.chairish.com/maker/eames?q=eames
Does Chairish authenticate? (I’m assuming so?)
No, but many of their vendors are long standing respected antique shops (if you click through bios). You may find some deals there, but it’s more of a sourcing vintage furniture site that a finding stuff for cheap.
1) Charish, 1stdibs
2) Yes – they do sales occasionally even on Eames items that I’m surprised they discount. I would sign up for their mailing list.
*Chairish
Thank you!
Check your antique stores/ebay. I have bought from my nearby antique store online (they often put the high demand things online as well) and paid for delivery.
Ok you guys, I feel a bit nutty, but I got off the Rancho Gordo Bean Club waiting list, finally, and just got my first box. I’m weirdly excited about it.
Any fellow leguminati members here?
Hey there fellow bean nerd!
please share your favorite bean recipes!
I’m OP. I have cooked beans for my entire life. My favorites are southern – blackeyed peas with salt pork, and limas with hamhock.
I’ve been using Rancho Gordo pinquitos to make Santa Maria beans for ages, so yummy, but I’m really looking forward to trying some new bean varieties!!
Not a member, but I used to buy them at my local coffee shop (long gone now) where the proprietor was an early Rancho Gordo enthusiast.
And they were so, so, so good. Only reason I haven’t tracked them down since is dietary restrictions around here, so eat some for us!
Solidarity on the dietary restrictions! Oh, how I wish I could go vegetarian and subscribe to Rancho Gordo. Sadly, husband’s diet excludes beans.
No beans would be divorce worthy for me.
It weirdly worked out that we both had to quit them for different reasons, so it wouldn’t help.
Thank god we can both still have coffee though!
Yes!!! I have been in The Club for a year now. I love it so much and have had a couple of dinner parties with pot beans, resulting in a couple of converts :)
The beans are magical, and the community is so fun!
Ok now I’m curious…
How long does it take to get off the waitlist?
I believe I joined it around 6-9 months ago? I can’t find a confirmation email.
I ALSO just got off the waiting list and am very excited.
Longtime member (2017?) here. Welcome. You will be an outlier for your appreciation of black-eyed peas. If you pronounce your love for them in Q4 you could probably get many packages sent to you by other members who do not care for them.
It’s good food and a good community, but I find it best in doses at this point.
It’s impossible for me to imagine anyone not loving blackeyed peas but I grew up in a half southern household and have one sibling who cannot stand them!!
I love them, too, and roll my eyes at all the discussion around them on the group page. I think a lot of people don’t know how to prepare them.
As a Southerner, I can’t imagine not liking them, but I do love their cousins field peas or lady peas more.
Same! I’ve been ordering from them sporadically for years, then recently joined the bean club and got my first shipment last week.
I’m worried I mess up. My boyfriend of 5 years is on an H1B visa. He got notice he will be losing his job in 3 months, and has started recruiting. One role that was recruiting him seemed like an absolute perfect fit, but he found out 4 interviews in that they don’t sponsor H1Bs. The hiring manager was trying to advocate to have them hire him anyway, but it seemed like it would be a tough road. There have been other indications that fewer and fewer companies are sponsoring H1B visas due to the political uncertainty around what may happen with the program.
I suggested we get courthouse married so that we can start the green card application, just in case the worst outcome happened. We’d already known we want to get married, and he’d been planning a proposal for this summer in Paris. It felt silly to me to go through the pomp and circumstance of an overseas proposal and 18+ month wedding planning process (his family hosts huge weddings and his brother’s wedding was easily a six or seven figure affair).
We decided to go to the courthouse and get married last week, and it was beautiful! My parents were there, and it felt very sweet. We spoke to a lawyer afterwards, who said that he thinks it will be less than a month until my now husband gets his work new permit, allowing him to get off the H1B. His dream job becomes possible then, and the H1B issue is removed from recruiting other jobs as well.
The issue though, is that I think his parents are upset about it. They live in a different country and were on vacation last week, so there was no way that they’d be available to come to the courthouse ceremony. He asked their blessing beforehand, and they said it’s up to him and me, not them. But since it’s happened, his mom hasn’t even mentioned it to me (we text daily) and ignored a casual reference I made to her about it. They are the only people who know who haven’t congratulated us. Yesterday, he spoke with his mom on the phone for the first time since we did it, and her only comment was “Please do not tell your cousin you did this. Her mother is a gossip and then everyone we know will know.” He said it makes sense why she wouldn’t want the story to get out and be told as though ‘he lost his job so they had to get courthouse married,’ but it also made me sad that her only feeling around the whole thing is shame. I don’t expect her to be overjoyed, but I am sad that she seems to be looking at it as a very negative thing. My parents were so happy, and it feels like now it is actually a dirty secret and something to feel bad about. My husband and I have no regrets, and I’m honestly really happy about the whole thing. He can now potentially get his dream job and we no longer have to worry about him getting arbitrarily kicked out of the country or detained. It feels like a huge blessing that this path was even available to us, and that it would’ve been ridiculous not to take it. We are also planning on having the big wedding in his home country still, but can now wait a year or two to plan without stress about visa issues.
I guess my question is – how do I get over his parents being upset about it? Or how do I repair with them if they no longer like me as much? He comes from a much more culturally conservative country and I’ve been so grateful with how welcoming and loving they’ve been to me even though I’m American and white. But now I feel like we overreached on how progressive or nontraditional we are allowed to be. I also worry they no longer approve of me. His father repeated often ‘Jessica is a very lovable girl. If you think this is the path, go for it.’ I am worried on some level they are now realizing he might stay in the U.S., and don’t fully want this path for him. Also that they are not wowed by me as his partner, and that I just seem like a sweet girl and nothing else.
You can’t help the feelings of other people. Your husband can explain the why, if they don’t get it, they don’t get it. I eloped and people have feelings about it, but those are theirs to have and not mine to manage. It was the right decision for us.
In your situation, who had feelings. about it and what type of feelings did they have?
Having been on the other side, as siblings. It felt really sad to not celebrate such a huge milestone life event with a sibling. We are a close family, have always included each other in things, and relationships have been good and not overbearing. There was no family drama or controversy on our side, but there was with my SIL’s at the time. So while I respect that they decided to elope, it did feel very sad to not celebrate as a family. Not everybody feels that way, I get that.
I posted above, no drama in my family but drama in my husband’s and we didn’t want to deal with any of the things that could have happened on the day or the hurt from one side going and the other side not. When you get married you’re forming a new nuclear family and the wishes of your original one come second.
+1
My BFF eloped and I understand why because she is extremely shy but I’m still sad that we didn’t get to celebrate together and enjoy the pre-wedding excitement. I never expressed that to her but she could probably tell.
Give them time. It sounds like they aren’t mad, just still in a state of shock. It’s ok that it isn’t how they planned it, and it sounds like they aren’t actually giving you a hard time.
+1 I’d do my best to listen to their wording and not their tone for the near future. They think you’re loveable! and that your new husband made a the best decision he could!
Agreed with the others that you can’t control other people‘s feelings. Just make space for them and see if they get there with time. He might also remember there are a lot of reasons people choose wedding timing. In our case, we needed to move things up so my disabled husband could get on my Health insurance at work – this was pre-Obamacare – but people don’t need to know that.
I’m sorry you must grow a pair. You did your best to help your husband who is a grown man with agency. Ignore them.
+1
You both made the best decision you could at the time. And, it’s also OK for his parents to feel sad that they didn’t get the big wedding experience they probably thought they’d have with their child and extended family. It sounds like they like you, and in time, they may come around.
If you’re going to plan/have the big wedding in his country anyway, could it just be that his folks think the US courthouse wedding is just a technicality, and hope that you don’t spread the news around so the big wedding they throw won’t seem like it’s “after the fact”.
I don’t know what country your husband is from (I’m guessing India), and I don’t know if their culture looks down on post-marriage “show weddings”, but I know plenty of people here who get worked up when the find out the big wedding/party they traveled and gifted for is really just for show and the couple was already married.
So your in-laws might not be mad at all, but they may want you to keep quiet so they can maintain the fiction that the big party they eventually throw to show off is the real wedding, and not just a celebration of a marriage that actually occurred two years before.
This makes a lot of sense. They’re hoping they can pass off the post-wedding celebration as the actual wedding.
They are from India! Yes, that’s a good point. We framed it as much as possible as just ‘completing paperwork,’ so they may be trying to emphasize that we treat it as such and don’t create gossip among their family that will interfere with the larger wedding.
Perhaps you did such a good job at convincing them it was just paperwork that they don’t consider you married yet so there’s nothing to congratulate?
I would definitely not inform anyone beyond your parents/siblings/very closest friends if you want the wedding next year to be treated as the real event. Weddings are incredibly important in some cultures so if you are telling them it’s a happy technicality, then treat it like that and not like it’s the main event.
+1
My best friend did the quick legal marriage for similar Visa issues, and had the big family wedding later and kept the pre-marriage quiet so the older relatives didn’t get judgey. Worked great.
This is the situation. My DH is from another country and there is a similar view.
His parents have likely gifted generously at weddings of friends and family over the years with the expectation that they will one day host their children’s wedding and they are concerned that if you are seen as already married, the reception part will be poorly attended.
I would respect their wishes and not tell people about the legal/technical wedding. Instead, can you move up the proposal? Maybe a domestic location within driving distance like a beautiful beach? That will give them the engagement and wedding planning to focus on and positive news to share.
Basically be happy. Don’t assume this means they don’t like you but also don’t spread the news.
This was my guess from reading OPs post too.
Same, this situation is not uncommon for certain cultures where there is a expectation that the big wedding receptions are for the parents showing off their children and hospitality, not so much the newlyweds. My parents were married in the US but when they went back to the old country for the reception people gave my mom side eye since she was visibly pregnant with me at the time. Then again, that was nearly 40 years ago.
I know friends who got married in the US at a courthouse because of visa issues or during summer 2020, but their parents and family in their home Asian country don’t consider them truly married because the parents haven’t hosted a big wedding reception for the extended family and friends.