Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Tailored Midi Skirt
This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
For those of us bemoaning the lack of fully-lined skirts available for purchase these days, here’s one for a steal from Banana Republic Factory. The below-the-knee length is very modern, but the tailored silhouette is a classic.
Grab this gorgeous pink color if you’re looking for something a little bit different, but it also comes in black if you need something more traditional.
The skirt is $40 at Banana Republic Factory and comes in sizes 00-18, petite sizes 00-16, and tall sizes 4-16.
Sales of note for 8/28/25 (I'm bolding the ones I'm checking out first):
- Nordstrom – Summer sale has started!
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your full price purchase, $99 dresses, jackets and shoes, and 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 20% off everything
- Dermstore – Anniversary Edit of 16 Favorites, $629 value for $150 (also, NB you can make FSA purchases there!)
- Eloquii – 100s of styles starting at $25
- J.Crew – Up to 40% off 100s of styles (readers love this blazer, these pants, these sneakers, this suiting, and their sweater blazers and winter coats in general. Also note that they've expanded their size range up to 3X/24! See our full roundup of what to buy for work at J.Crew.)
- J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything and extra 60% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Save up to 70% Labor Day Weekend – Take an additional 20% off already-discounted items
- Neiman Marcus – Extra 15% off beauty including options from DIOR, Nars, Chantecaille, Victoria Beckham, SK-II, and La Mer
- Rothy's – Ooh: limited edition T-strap flats / Mary Janes
- Spanx – End of summer sale, extra 30% off sale styles with code – reader favorites include these pants in regular, petite, and tall sizes all up to 3X (the very rare option for a plus-size petite!); Nordstrom also has a big collection!)
- Talbots – 70% off markdowns final sale
- Tuckernuck – Prices up to 70% off! (Including lots of this bestselling work dress marked to under $75)
I found the length of this to be stumpifying on me, but it comes in petite, which helped immensely. Huzzah! There is a jacket and pants also.
was thinking the same thing. a skirt this length with a flat mule would make me look totally dumpy.
My problem is that I always need petite, so there’s no option to size down to a shorter range. This skirt would absolutely stumpify me.
Word of warning to anyone with significant hips or booty, this skirt is cut very straight from waist to hips. I ordered it a few weeks ago and sent it right back.
I really don’t like this length on anyone, except maybe a woman who is ridiculously tall and also wearing very high heels. It’s OK in a fuller skirt, but in a straight skirt, it’s unflattering and also gives me “my religion doesn’t allow women to wear pants or show their knees” vibes.
I like the skirt and the length but find that I only like how it looks on me when I am wearing sky-high heels – which is not something my feet want to do anymore!
I’m 5’3” and actually like this length on me. I wear my skirt that’s similar to this with shoes or sandals with a bit of a heel, under 2 inches. I think my legs are kind of long relative to my height, so maybe that helps?
I didn’t wear skirts for years and years (I did and do wear dresses), but am finding myself drawn to them lately. I think the proliferation of shorter tops helps – I always hated trying to tuck the longer tops into a skirt, and leaving them untucked looked not great.
What is the difference between some family offices and the higher $ tier of account available at big banks? I came across something the other day where it looked like a suite of family-office like options available on a mass basis, and became curious.
I am not a family-office-level person, but I now have POA over a family member’s accounts, which are mainly a paid-out pension and retirement accounts and receipts from selling a paid-off house. I tend to sprinkle accounts around personally (so no more than the FDIC limit in any one account) and use multiple financial institutions due to live moves, etc. For family member, there are 20+ accounts, so I’d like to consolidate a bit but really not used to this amount of $ (family member needs basic liquidity, so I’m not looking to diverge from that, but just curious).
What services do you need? I’m super happy with my well-run credit union that doesn’t have tiers for wealth beyond having income/assets that would be consistent with income a few years out of college.
I’m generally skeptical of solicitations that offer someone to personally do a lot of stuff for you because I assume that it’s financially worthwhile for the institution because they’re making more money off of me in fees or otherwise. I’d rather save my money.
What?! Girl. If you’d already know how family offices work you are too poor to concern yourself with them.
Indeed! I assume we’re talking wealth in the nine figure range, or at least the high eight figure range, before we’re talking family office. I don’t say that haughtily – my wealth will never be greater than low seven figures, and I’m delighted to have that.
Yeah, I snickered at the question.
This. We’re very comfortable but ‘family office’ wealth is entirely different. If you don’t have generational wealth (think Rockefeller levels) or hundreds of millions of dollars or more you can’t afford and don’t need a family office.
What if you are a 7-figure person — I assume it’s just to with a big bank and don’t let them sell you too much stuff you didn’t already want.
This is the ‘wealth management’ team at your preferred institution (UBS, Morgan Stanley, BofA, etc.). Even there the teams have various levels of services. Ages ago the ‘entry level’ wealth managers at Northern Trust started at $1-5MM in investable assets (NOT total net worth) but the best teams were reserved for $15MM and up in investable assets.
For us doors.. what is a family office?
A financial advisor who is actually employed by you to manage your money. You are their full time job.
If you’re wealthy enough you may have multiple legal entities (one for investments, one for charitable donations, one for managing your households, etc.). I highly doubt OP has enough money for a family office. The people who need it are billionaires or close to it.
What is a door?
Poor
You might just need wealth management which can either be part of a bigger financial institution (varying levels from some guy who calls you from fidelity and has 200 people on his list based on your assets there to a dedicated wealth strategist who you are paying a fee to) or stand alone. You want to make sure they are a Fiduciary. A family office generally works for you (and they are often doing day to day engagement with financial institution (s). Sometimes have lawyers and people making investment decisions . Super high level but in general. You could start with someone thru your asset manager or look at private wealth mgmt.
TW: infant loss, cults.
The leader of The Freebirth Society, which advocates for women to go through pregnancy and childbirth with zero medical care or “interventions” and to give birth at home solo, just had a stillbirth herself. Apparently it’s the 10th or so stillbirth this year among the relatively small group of online participants in the FBS paid online offerings.
I’m sorry for her baby who never had a chance and I’m sorry for the women who have been duped by this fraud into their own tragedies and I’m also wondering why it isn’t illegal for a non-clinician to dispense such life or death medical advice. I’ve seen this woman tell someone afraid of Twin-to-Twin-Transfusion syndrome that “the most dangerous place for your babies is the hospital” and to tell countless others that there is “no reason” to seek medical care even if there are warning signs. How is that possible for someone to do that with no legal action?
Because if you’re taking medical advice from a non medical professional you are assuming the obvious risk that comes with that. You can’t criminalize every bad idea.
It’s insane. And one lady who pops up on TikTok often for me shared her story of how she was convinced home birth was best and then her baby died and wouldn’t have in the hospital. And I think that’s a really hard thing to share and so worth it of her to do.
It’s a very hard thing to admit. Most women in her position (and sadly, there are now a lot) won’t admit it and instead say things like “death is natural” and “my birth was so powerful.”
Calling it “my birth” is always pretty telling IMO. It’s actually their baby’s birth. But the baby is always just a prop in the scene.
Normally people around here are going on about how medical professionals focus too much on the baby! But I agree with you. Mothers should be treated with dignity, but the baby’s safety is paramount
The safety of both is paramount, not just the baby. Women deserve more than just being treated with dignity. There should be no “but” after that sentence.
Agree. WTH.
Yes, I should have specified mother’s safety is also paramount. But there’s a fine line between honoring preferences and being unsafe, and I think we expect too much of medical professionals when they have to make that call in a split second.
I’ve had four med-free hospital births. I was pretty perturbed to be given an episiotomy with my second (which led to it being necessary for my third, too) without being consulted (among other things that happened in that birth.) But baby had to get out, and it’s easy to second guess when you’re past the danger.
Clearly there are much bigger issues of true malpractice out there, but I think even these stories of “the doctor didn’t honor my birth plan” can spook some women…for me, it goes back to safety being paramount.
I kind of think the concept of a “birth plan” is a fairly bad one in general – it sets up the expectation that this is an experience that should go a certain way, and anything that deviates reads as a failure. Obviously, everyone involved should be treated as well as possible under the circumstances, but ultimately, it’s a medical procedure, and the success of that is the goal.
(FWIW, I had two planned c-sections, and found the experiences quite nice all things considered, but I’m sure my cases were easier than many.) (Also FWIW, I work in the hospital industry, and we definitely see complaints from people (not maternity-related) who seem to think they are in a hotel. I think our people generally try to treat people very well, but obviously things aren’t going to always be pleasant.)
Re birth plan: people plan and g-d laughs.
I thought up one for my first birth and realized that it was a fool’s errand for the second.
I’m not advocating for lambasting medical professionals dealing with tough situations where patient’s desires conflict with medical recommendations. It is tough, but systemic problems with the delivery of medical care are partly responsible for why these conflicts are so difficult to resolve. And the solution needs to be deeper. It doesn’t do any good to just say “oh well physicians should make the calls necessary to protect baby when there’s a conflict because baby is important than a birth plan.” Even this idea that medical professionals get to make “calls” and perform procedures on conscious women without their consent is problematic. Women aren’t just containers that providers can do things to, and the word “preference” obscures the real issue, which is patient autonomy and consent. No one should be given an episiotomy without their consent. Yes, it can be very, very difficult to get patient consent quickly in some cases (especially when women don’t trust their providers or the medical establishment) but expecting them to get consent isn’t expecting too much.
I’m the episiotomy poster, and I realize we’re getting in the weeds here, but I still believe ideals about consent can conflict with providing the best or needed care in the moment.
For my third, I had a midwife in the hospital and as baby crowned she performed the episiotomy. There was literally no time for her to ask a question, nor was I in the position to hear or speak. She saw the skin blanching because of the previous one, and could tell the tear would be worse and deeper than if she assisted. She explained everything that happened to me afterwards and I’m glad she did what she did.
There’s definitely an element of choosing a provider we trust, and then we have to put some things in their hands.
I really think that if we focus efforts on making hospitals safer, more accessible, and less misogynistic, there will be much, much less interest in these kinds of risky sour grapes movements.
Eh, there’s a rebellious, conspiratorial streak baked into American culture. See: the vaccine debacle. Childhood vaccines could hardly be safer.
Yes, but there are also a lot of women – and people more broadly – who have objectively bad medical experiences. When you discount that reality, you aid the conditions that make these “alternatives” more appealing.
Yes, this. I used to litigate birth injury cases (defense side) and saw this over and over again in both women and practitioners’ decisions. This is what pushes lots of women to consider much riskier alternative approaches that they otherwise wouldn’t, including women who don’t fit that mold of rebellious, conspiratorial and are generally inclined to trust science and modern medicine.
The problem is that FBS is convincing women who had no prior bad experiences that they will be unsafe at the hospital and definitely emerge with trauma. People are highly suggestible and it really messes with your decision-making. I’ve been told so many times that a C-section was the worst possible outcome. Nope, my unplanned C-section was fine. And so was my baby.
I agree with this. My hospital was very respectful and professional; in fact, it was so good, one of my friends joked about having another baby just to give birth there.
If that were the norm, women would be a lot less susceptible to the lunatics.
She probably isn’t worth the cost of suing. How she promulgates her message though — deep pockets. Maybe if they get sued enough they will police this nonsense?
TBH I didn’t want a lot of interventions when I was pregnant, but I wasn’t surrounded by lunatics (or well meaning useful idiot types). It is easy how easy it is now to get trapped in the wrong bubble.
I’m just a history major by colonial-era America was full of stepfamilies formed by a dad who had lost a prior wife/wives in childbirth or to childbed fever, leaving prior children and him behind.
Yeah, there’s a reason why probate/equity court in a number of states was originally named (and is still called) Orphans Court.
Telling people false or misleading information, even if it relates to health, is not illegal. That would be a First Amendment infringement. Holding yourself out as a medical professional when you aren’t is generally speaking not legal, and IME this is typically addressed by rules/and regulatory bodies that license and regulate various healthcare professions. But if you’re not doing that (and the line can be fuzzy)….. you can say whatever insane crap you want. See e.g., your local insane anti-vaxxer FB group.
This.
Not illegal but quite possibly against platform policies. FB can get twitchy about anything that looks like health advice, despite their enforcement being lacking (their enforcement is notoriously lacking even when it comes to stuff that is illegal though).
Here’s the Massachusetts law (where I live and have an active law license):
“The Practice of Medicine means the following conduct, the purpose or reasonably foreseeable effect of which is to encourage the reliance of another person upon an individual’s knowledge or skill in the maintenance of human health by the prevention, alleviation, or cure of disease, and involving or reasonably thought to involve an assumption of responsibility for the other person’s physical or mental well being: diagnosis, treatment, use of instruments or other devices, or the prescribing, administering, dispensing or distributing of drugs for the relief of diseases or adverse physical or mental conditions.”
See, https://www.law.cornell.edu/regulations/massachusetts/243-CMR-2-01
Penalty for unlicensed practice of medicine? $100 to $1,000, up to one year in jail: https://malegislature.gov/Laws/GeneralLaws/PartI/TitleXVI/Chapter112/Section6
So the answer is that no one is going to get all that wound up over a slap on the wrist. The police and prosecutors don’t have much of an incentive to handle these cases.
Ugh. Depressing. I do think this woman crossed the line to providing medical advice in many cases. If someone posts on a forum “I haven’t felt my baby move and I have a headache” and the founder says “stay home and stay strong mama, your body knows what to do!”, that qualifies as medical advice to me.
I don’t know anything about this situation but just reading this comment, why would that qualify as medical advice? Unless this woman/founder has said she’s a medical professional, she can say whatever she wants. It’s on you if you believe some idiot on the internet and consider their comments as medical advice.
Does anyone have the flannel-lined Adirondack barn coat from LL Bean? Any reviews to share? Size 12, petite. I’d love a nice barn coat but Barbour doesn’t really work for me, sadly.
I find LL Bean to run consistently large for both men and women. What about Barbour doesn’t work for you?
Barbour’s Beadnell jackets (imho) are pretty narrow. I can see them not working for someone who’s very busty with wide hips. I had to size up to an 8 to be able to layer a sweater underneath mine and I’m normally a UK 6 in everything else (I’m a 32 D but otherwise pretty narrow in my shoulders/hips).
Not OP, but I frequently turn to LL Bean because they sell outerwear in petite sizes and not many other places do. I don’t think Barbour does.
Precisely – plus I find the Beadnell too heavy on the shoulders.
My experience with LLBean clothing across the board is to use the size chart for the item and then go down one size. I have gotten items using the size chart and ordering what it said that were anywhere from decidedly large to comically large.
Does anyone have an electric razor (for legs and underarms) they like? I am the worst with a regular razor.
What issues are you having? I switched to the men’s Gillette skinguard to deal with ingrown hairs. You may want to get an ipl like the Braun instead of an electric razor though.
any tips on whether the IPL works on lighter colored hair (light brown)?
Haven’t tried it but considering the women’s Wahl razor
We’re buying a house and it’s turning into a bit of a nightmare; the inspection has turned up so many issues. We have until Saturday to pull out if the owners don’t agree to credits or lowering the purchase price to take care of some of the more immediate concerns. On the one hand, I think this is just what we’ve turned up, who knows what other terrible surprises are waiting for us? They clearly have performed little to zero home maintenance in the seven years they have lived there. On the other, it’s a hot market and we’re lucky we even got a house with an inspection contingency; the next time we buy we might have to waive it and end up in the same position. Stock is all old houses (think Northeast city suburbs- DC, Boston, Philly) and new builds are out of our price range. We would still have a pretty healthy amount saved that we could potentially use for issues, but we have a lot of other moving parts of our budget so would of course love to not have to do that. Interested in thoughts, advice, from other people that have been there!
Is the house priced accordingly? Old houses always have issues–if the owners were going to fix/pay for them, they would have.
How old is the house and what are the issues that are turning up?
What are the ‘issues’ I’m an old house buff and there’s a lot of inspectors who know nothing about old houses and have wild ideas. My home inspector insisted I needed new windows…. nope, they need to be reglazed, I’m not putting plastic in my house. My home inspector also insisted the foundation needed sealing when all it needed was repointing, sealing old stones is actually a great way to destroy the structural integrity.
Good point. I sold a 1950s house with a tile roof and the inspector was clearly unfamiliar with them. He flagged several things that would be standard for shingled roofs, but not for our style of tile. When we tried to convey this and said we wouldn’t be fixing it (because it would actually be damaging) the buyer got spooked about “what else we were hiding” and walked
Yeah we have a 1926 bungalow with the original sash windows with awesome swap out screens/storms that you can install from the inside, and they are very tight and weatherproof. If we sell I’d love to make it a condition that they can’t touch the windows!
That would be such a selling point for me. Old windows are so good.
Can you give us an idea of some of the issues? IME home inspectors turn up every little possible thing so you can try to get credited. About half the stuff is not strictly necessary, or can be put off.
If something is a true urgent safety issue, I expect the sellers to cover – eg, our house had high radon in the basement so the sellers put in and paid for the remediation system. The boiler was 60 years old and leaking oil, but for that we accepted a 30% credit and replaced it ourselves. We also had a cracked chimney crown, but didn’t ask anything of the sellers and fixed it down the road (as a few examples).
+1. The answer definitely depends on the type of issues IMO.
OP here. Inspector did get some things wrong, but he flagged the rotting posts under the 20 year old deck and the chimney. House is from 1940s. Owners said “we use both all the time and they’re great!” Structural engineer was like, yea these posts need to be fixed before your deck sinks. Chimney sweep said, oh yea this chimney needs a liner and is not safe to use- lots of cracks in the mortar. I asked the owners if they use the chimney all the time, how often have they had it cleaned and inspected? Answer was, hmmm maybe when we moved in. So basically never, in 7 years. I consider myself pretty meh at home maintenance and even in my current house I was like, yea we have to get our chimney checked before we start burning wood fires!
If the house itself is solid, I think I would just pay to fix the deck (or seal it off until you can). And my inspector told me it’s very common for older chimneys to need a liner; he was surprised that ours didn’t, but if it had we would have handled it ourselves along with the chimney cap (and we scheduled a sweep to be done the day we moved in).
In our house, in addition to the boiler needing replaced stat, the washing machine flooded the hall the first time I used it and we found both upstairs bathrooms had leaking pipes within weeks of move in. I have to imagine the sellers knew. But, the roof, driveway and foundation are in great shape, and the basement was waterproofed, so you win some and you lose some. With an older home I would definitely make sure to have at least $50K on hand for all the unexpected repairs that will come up right away…and it will probably be much more. That’s just how it goes.
We feel fortunate we were able to snag this “dated” house in a hot market, and the upside of doing all this work is we are sure it’s being done correctly and get to make it ours!
I will chime in on the chimney thing. Mine isn’t safe either for a fire. It is safe for gas so I had mine converted to gas for a few hundred dollars. I could have also put in a wood burning stove. Mine had been boarded up with random wood when I bought so I could have left it closed off.
This is minor stuff, OP. Get a landscape designer out after you buy to take advantage of the opportunity to redesign the deck and garden!
Chimney issues are unfortunately really common. Our chimney didn’t have a liner and was leaking into the roof. Previous owner had put on a new roof but not identified the chimney issue– which a roofing company also didn’t identify for us. Turns out the chimneys were built incorrectly in most houses in our 35 year old subdivision, and for whatever reason, our neighbors have all been figuring it out now. We ended up rebuilding a new chimney for about $10k.
Leaks are also common. Our house had a master shower that had been installed without waterproofing and a leaking toilet. Neither showed up on inspection. We had been planning to redo the master bathroom anyway. Toilet issue was pretty easy to fix by replacing the toilet and drywall. I think this is just part of owning a house unfortunately.
Honestly these are pretty minor. You’ll need to repair the deck if you want to use it and the only immediate fix is to either get a chimney liner or keep it as a decorative feature only. If you do get a liner expect something in the $10k and up range – we got a similar quote and elected to keep it as a decorative, not functional fireplace.
No house is perfect and this applies tenfold to old houses. Are the issues safety issues, or immediate need roof, foundation, electrical, plumbing issues, or simply issues that you cannot live with? If not, I’d ask for a price adjustment and move forward.
Agree. In other circumstances I’d say this house is going to feel like a pita to you, so you should move on. But if the issues aren’t structural, and you feel like the cost to fix issues is reasonably reflected in the price (considering the hot market), and you like the house, then this sounds like it might be the best option for you in a difficult market.
How much do you like the house? We bought an old house with a few issues. We had a good inspector though, so mostly, the issues we have had were the ones that were flagged on inspection and we knew what to expect. You will definitely need to budget for maintenance, but I love our house and have no regrets on going forward (the owners did agree to a minor credit after inspection, though not as much as we would have wanted).
Are either of you handy at all? Or have the time/energy/knowledge to deal with contractors? If you do, it might be worth it. If not, take a hard look at the new to-do list. DH loves home reno projects and has done some real estate investment, and most of the time the only way you get a “good deal” is if there is some work to be done because many people just want turn-key. I wouldn’t hestitate if the price was right, but that’s because DH is very handy and has the energy to vet and work with contractors so they stay to the schedule. It is about being honest with yourselves about the number of projects you can and want to handle.
This is a good point. My parents built/repaired houses and my grandparents/extended family are in construction/architecture so I was very confident in what was an immediate ‘need to fix now’ vs. what could be put off. I was also comfortable speaking with contractors and keeping on top of them. If you do not have that knowledge base (my husband can barely re-caulk tile) then this is a lot more time and effort.
I bought a house in a hot market with a ton of deferred maintenance. It was our 4th house. Honestly, if the foundation is solid, I would likely go for it and recognize that every house will need new roofs, will have leaks at some point, and will have random issues pop up that you could never expect. If you otherwise are happy with the house, I’d be fine with it. We haven’t had any more or different issues with this one than the first 3 with “cleaner” inspections.
I’d take a closer look at the issues – immediate/urgent fixes I’d ask for credit on (radon, gas or electric issues). I have an antique house and it needed a fair amount of work to fix some structural issues in our first few years, and we put in new windows/insulation almost immediately so we wouldn’t be freezing all winter. Otherwise a lot of things we were able to do more slowly over time (sump pump/french drains, basement de-humidifier, roofs, etc.).
I wouldn’t say new builds are free from issues either. There are a lot of bad contractors who cut corners. What specifically are the issues? My house is 100 years old and there were a couple of issues on the inspection, but not many. My issue is actually the opposite — people who bought an old house and put in cheap “improvements” that I will eventually have to undo. The doors, the trim, terrible paint on the brick fireplace, etc are just horrible if you love old houses.
What can you live with now? What is critically important? If it’s major structural issues, I would probably walk away.
Yes, I want to echo this about new builds and a lot of people don’t opt to get them inspected. I bought a new build 7 years ago and some of the stories I heard from my neighbors about issues with roofs, HVAC, electric and so on were really frustrating. I had a few issues but they were minor and I had a good inspector that I worked with. No house is perfect, it’s about how much risk you are willing to assume and how much time, money and expertise you have to manage issues.
I have a 200 year old house and the previous owners definitely did a lot of cheap renovations. Fixing it slowly.
You are not buying a new house; there are going to be issues, and it is the home inspector’s job to point out every single little thing. Most of them way over-hype their findings as a CYA tactic. Your agent should be talking you off this ledge.
This. You should always expect issues.
I think you’ve gotten good advice so far. For context, I have two friends that walked after inspection for (what I think) were reasonable things. One house had a brown recluse infestation in the basement, and they didn’t feel like they’d be comfortable in the house even with remediation. The second house was priced top of the market as a 120 year old house that had been flipped, and it had holes in the roof where animals were living, and the owners refused to fix it.
We bought a 100 year old house recently in a city similar to the examples listed. Most of the homes in our town are 70-130 years old. We knew the roof and siding were old and would be a major project in a few years. We knew the first floor windows were all original and need replacing. We knew the hot water tank was nearing expiration. We knew 1 HVAC system was old. And you know what: we have had to fix all or most of these things in the first 2 years (hot water tank went, HVAC went, animals getting into attic via holes in the old roof/siding). So, go in with eyes open and make sure you have plenty of budget (in our case an additional $200k) to fix everything that may require maintenance/replacement in the short term.
Looking for advice and experience on post menopausal weight loss (I’m 59 and well and truely through the menopause with minimal symptons). I’ve put on about 30 pounds in the last year and a half. I know exactly why – a monumentally stressful time causing comfort eating, more wine than I should, and more time spent watching Netflix on the sofa than in the past.
Some of my stressors are still in my life (elderly parents) but other things have evened out and I am ready to tackle this.
I’ve started seeing a personal trainer, and I am consciously meal planning and trying to eat better, but it all seems like a mountain to climb (and in the background I am lamenting that my usual stress response of not eating did not kick in).
For those who have been through this what worked? How did you kick the relax with a glass of wine habit? I’m not sure that weight loss drugs are what I want – I’m not a big food noise person.
Guess I am scared of the hard work it will be, so need motivation and ideas
Good luck! No time like the present is always my motto when I know things will take a lifetime to see results (like my 3 year invisalign adventure.)
Weight loss drugs address more than food noise–they cause the stomach to stay full longer, so you’ll eat less over time. All good if you don’t want to (same way I won’t touch botox but will take weight loss drugs, we all have our things.) It will take work, doing things/eating things you don’t want to. You’ve got this!
I had some of the same issues. I’m post menopausal and started at class 2 obese. I was insulin resistant and also have an unrelentingly high stress job and near constant high stress elder care issues. I could previously diet at 1200-1300 calories per day and the scale would hardly budge.
The glp1 drugs address more than just food noise. There is also some sort of adjustment to your body chemistry. Also I’ve simply lost my taste for fried or rich foods, and for alcohol. Even though I’m a slow loser, likely due to not dieting hard and having health issues preventing serious exercise, it’s been a miracle for me. I watch what I eat, and walk a mile, stretch and do some simple exercises or a short yoga routine most days. I’ve dropped 50 lbs in a year with zero misery.
No advice but I’m on this same journey. My closet ranges from a 4 to a 12 and I’m short. Just coming out of two years of stage 4 cancer and a hospital stay and a move for elder care responsibilities and trying to get back into my activities, like tennis. Let’s check in with each other — maybe we can cheer each other on?
I am your age and had the precise same issue. Post-menopause + pandemic bad habits, which mostly consisted of a glass of wine (or 2) per night + a very stressful job situation that ended with my employer going bankrupt and laying off their entire workforce = 40 pounds. More exercise helped with the stress and changing my food habits stopped the weight gain, but I could not lose what I had gained and my lab work was concerning so I went with GLP-1s in the end. That said one of my friends was going through something similar and she met with a dietician specializing in weight loss who put her on a high protein diet that helped a lot and she has lost 25 pounds. So maybe try that? Exercise is great for a lot of reasons, but it is hard to exercise enough to lose weight unless you have hours per day to dedicate to it.
I made a rule that I do not drink at home and started going for a walk with a podcast as soon as I logged off (if WFH) or got home (if driving), which filled the time I used to spend drinking. I also just stopped buying wine to keep at home! I was using wine to divide my work day from the evening so I needed something else to help make that transition.
I’ve been drinking Recess beverages in a big wine glass at night and enjoying it. They are magnesium and some other stuff, but not a THC drink. You can just get them on Amazon. I wouldn’t drink one during the day and the big glass helps make it seem special.
Think about what works for you to make lasting changes, because everyone is different. My husband has to swap in a new habit, so that might mean drinking a flavored seltzer while watching tv, or switching over to reading a book instead of screen time. I’m a moderator, so I make the decision that I’ll have wine, but just one glass, or I’ll watch tv, but only one show per night. Knowing what works for you helps set you up for success.
Working up to walking 7 miles a day helped my mom lose 30 lbs when she retired at 65. No other changes, just a ton of walking. Well, I mean, when you’re walking two hours a day, that’s less time to eat, but the only conscious choice was walking.
I love this. In my ideal world I’d wake up at 9, read the paper, drink my coffee, and start my walking by 11 a.m.
Been there, and did it. Weight training is a great first step, but I’d also look for something exercise-related that you can do on a daily basis, and ideally do it at the times your bad habits kick in. I have a treadmill and it’s easy to get on for a ten minute walk instead of a snack during the day (wfh), or when I was in office take a quick walk outside. I’ll also get in the treadmill while watching something on the tv instead of having a glass of wine or snacking on the sofa. Find something that is both a stress relief and a habit-replacement. Taking up cycling has been huge for me as part of the next stage of get more fit while really enjoying my rides (we have an awesome system of bike trails).
Same age, same issues. I ended up taking a GLP1 to lose 50 lbs. I did the dosing increases very slowly and it took 1.5 years to lose which I am fine with since I couldn’t even lose 1 lb for years. This was with eating healthy/high protein and exercising (walking).
I also decided to only drink on “special occasions” as I call it. This means not drinking alone at night at home, and only drinking when I am out to dinner, at a party, etc. I do think the GLP1 helped curb the desire for alcohol, so I think that helped too.
Trying to incorporate more oats into my diet, and I hate the texture of overnight oatmeal. Suggestions? I’d prefer savory recipes.
Two suggestions: Oatcakes, which are dry and like a cookie, and oatmeal pancakes. Good luck!
Is the issue that you don’t have time to cook oatmeal in the morning? I find that oatmeal heats up really well in the microwave – you can make a batch on the weekend, and heat it up during the week.
Steel-cut oats made with milk in the rice cooker reheat very well. I also like baked oatmeal.
There are a lot of recipes that use oat flour, which is just dry oatmeal that is sent through a food processor.
I love savory oatmeal; i eat it congee style, cooked with more water than usual and topped with soy sauce, sesame oil, ginger, scallions, and a soft cooked egg.
This is the only way I will touch oats.
Nature’s Path has a great instant oatmeal with flax seeds.
Steel-cut oats are a game-changer, texture-wise. You can cook a batch and reheat portions all week. They pair well with savory toppings like eggs and greens, and can also make the base for a grain bowl.
Seconded steel cut oats; or even try oat groats (basically whole kernels, like barley size). They just take a lot longer to cook though, so you probably want to make a pot once and microwave each morning
Maybe try baked oatmeal recipes and use savory ingredients instead of sweet ones. Or muffins?
I also typically do not like overnight oats or really yogurt for that matter. But I’ve been making a ‘pumpkin spice overnight oats’ variation and blending the whole mixture in a blender first. It’s been a go to. There are bunch of recipes online for essentially the same thing.
Steel cut oats in the instant pot, frozen in muffin tins and microwaved on demand. I also like the McCann’s Quick oatmeal that you can make in five minutes (not instant). I love savory oatmeal recipes and my favorite is making quick oatmeal with chicken or vegetable broth instead of water, a pinch of oregano and black pepper, and then adding feta and Kalamata olives when done. Topping with a fried egg and a little bit of sautéd pancetta is also good and quick, and this wouldn’t be everyone’s jam but I also top with smoked salmon or grilled sardines. Most basic is just topping with TJ’s Everything but the Bagel or furikake flakes. If I’d put in on rice, I’ll try it on oatmeal.
I have never liked the texture of oatmeal, but have been eating “overnight” oats for a few years now. I just mix everything up ahead of time and add the milk or whatever liquid you want about 10 minutes before I eat it. That way is soaks up the liquid, but doesn’t get mushy.
Finally found the snakeskin almond-toe flats I’ve been looking for …and they’re a tiny bit too narrow in the toe box and loose at the heel. Worth trying to stretch the toe box?
Is it a high quality leather shoe? If so, yes. I wouldn’t bother if it’s a plastic upper.
No. Stretching the toe box won’t fix the loose heel problem.
Would someone who’s a size 6 please buy this gorgeous set? I can’t justify it but man is it pretty!
https://www.brooksbrothers.com/cotton-blend-boucle-sheath-dress-%26-jacket-set/WX00883.html?dwvar_WX00883_Color=BLKM&
Gorgeous. Also available in size 12.
No one commented on Kat’s post yesterday about limiting your information diet, and I’d love to ask about that, either here, or on the post itself. This is something I am trying so hard to do, especially as it pertains to tragedies or sad events, esp those with children (Texas floods, MN shooter, etc.) and politics. I don’t really read gossip sites, although I do enjoy following a few influencers who regularly comment on celebrity gossip. But my primary focus is on trying to pull myself from the news back into real life because I know that I need that for my mental health. I struggle with that because I think we have an obligation not to look away, but at same time, humans are not meant to know every tragedy that befalls the human race, which the internet has made accessible to us, so where is the balance?
I listen to one US politics podcast, and a UK podcast per day. And I let myself have 1 or 2 Guardian checks. I work in politics and I can’t absorb too much of it.
I think looking at hot topic tragedies that aren’t in our community distracts us from focusing on the slower moving tragedies that are happening in our area. They are sexy and splashy and make it easy to ignore the rates of child hunger or abse in your area.
There will always be people focused on national issues. Let them handle that. Focusing locally and doing things in your community is equally as important and generally better for your mental health.
My boyfriend suffers from anxiety. He’s retired, and got into the habit of having CNN on all day in the background. It was aggravating an already bad situation.
What’s working for him is to cut his news consumption down to reading WaPo in the morning and just tuning in to the local 6:00 news at the end of the day. He gets the national highlights, big local stories, weather and sports in that half-hour news dose.
I don’t watch news, ever – I only read it. That helps a lot because it’s less overstimulating. I hate that many major newspapers have autoplay videos on their homepages now, including for deeply horrific scenes, and I don’t think it’s good journalism to spring death videos on people like that.
I sometimes get very interested in a particular event or tragedy, but not often. The Texas flooding, especially at Camp Mystic, is one of those cases. Without outing myself, I have a professional interest in several of the issues at play in that tragedy and I’ve spent quite some time delving into specifics most people aren’t ever going to be interested in. You can’t do this for every tragedy or you’d go insane, but if there’s something that affects you or that you want to know more about, I think it’s OK to read deeply now and then. I’ve learned a LOT as a result and feel better poised to speak on some of the issues now – and I think the families advocating for improved camp safety are going to save future lives.
Otherwise, I don’t follow true crime or clickbait tragedies that try to get you in for a surface look and no more. That’s all downside.
I don’t think much can be gained from keeping up with daily news. Knowing or not knowing about the latest shooting won’t impact my thoughts on guns, just for example. Scrolling through all the stuff and being in a constant cortisol high is not conducive to reflecting, connecting information with context, remembering details and ultimately forming strong opinions. It’s more a stream that washes over me, but doesn’t accomplish anything.
As for actually limiting my scrolling practically, I need to intentionally replace the habit and let myself be pulled towards other things. Reading a great book, or joining a volunteer effort, or hanging out with friends work well for me.
With kids tragedies and the like, I remind myself that it’s news because it’s not common. I also limit my consumption and don’t read multiple accounts of the same thing or the comments section (especially that, as nothing will make you want to give up on humanity faster).
Just sharing a random shaving tip for those who shave: I don’t shave my legs daily, but I used to get those red pores (??) in many areas — I’ve seen it called “strawberry legs,” but I don’t know if what I had qualifies — but I found a partial solution. Before shaving in the shower, I wet an exfoliating pad (like this: https://www.ulta.com/p/exfoliating-cleansing-body-buffer-pimprod2033772?sku=2598280) and lightly scrub my legs with it. After shaving, there are a lot fewer red spots! I also have an African net sponge (this one: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1135331218/sapo-sponge-african-mesh-washcloth-ghana). (Not that I invented this, obviously, but I never considered it before in my 30 years of shaving!)
Good to know on the red spots!
I also use the African net sponge to scrub/exfoliate my underarms to get off old deodorant and deodorant build up.
I have keratosis pilarsis and the biggest game changer for me has been using a salux cloth. The name brand ones are the best imho, and they’re much more effective than anything else I’ve tried. Don’t rub too hard at first until you’re used to it!
KP and the red pores are different issues. Sometimes you have both but what I think OP is referencing is not a KP issue. My derm explained as a matter of your hair follicles and your skin type. She said electrolysis/permanently zapping the hair helps but not much else to be done. I do find exfoliating first helps at the margins because you get a closer shave.
Today, I need to drop something off to a friend who is going through a really rough time – she just had surgery to remove some cancer, and has had to go back to the ER a few times since because of reactions to drugs. I’d like to bring her something nice – I was thinking flowers, but does anyone have other suggestions? I’ll just be leaving it on her porch.
If there’s a farm stand near you, some fresh local fruit might be appreciated.
Do you know if she has a preferred soda or other non-alcoholic beverage? The kind of thing that is a splurge but one might drink when their stomach feels rough? I’m thinking of Mexican Coke or something like that. I would drop off six bottles with a card. It won’t spoil and it might help her feel better.
Ginger beer comes to mind, Bundaberg and Fever tree are pretty ubiquitous here.
Do you know her hobbies? I also had surgery recently and I appreciated things to keep me entertained. Food can be tricky because she may not want it. I would have enjoyed flowers too though.
Hey, I hope it’s ok to come here for advice – I’m staying with my Aunt and she told me about this place.
I work in a very male dominated culture. I’m about 8 years into my career and was assigned to mentor a new employee about six months ago when she started.
We bonded over being two women on a team of almost all guys. So in addition to the mentor-mentee relationship we have become friends outside of work.
We work 3 days remote and 2 in the office. We have arranged our schedules to we are in office the same days. We often get a group together for a drink after work on one of the days we are in the office.
It turns out another office next door has the same drink after work tradition on the same day of the week. So we ended up having drinks with these guys regularly – it’s like 75% guys, some women. A few months ago my mentee started dating one of these guys.
I should add that the company we work for does business with the guy’s company in kind of a vendor relationship. So no one is dating anyone’s boss but our bosses all know each other.
As her friend, not necessarily her mentor, I was supportive of her dating this guy. He seemed nice and fun and his coworkers are also fun. Also she was lonely and had just moved to this area and didn’t know other people. So their relationship was how she started having a local friend group, mainly Drew and a few of his coworkers.
So earlier this week I was with my mentee and opened my Facebook app (which I mainly have because my mother is on it all the time!) and it suggested a new connection to me. I showed my mentee the pic and I said look at this woman’s husband, doesn’t he look like Drew? (the guy she is dating, I changed the name).
And I feel terrible about this but it only took a few steps to see lots of pictures of this woman with Drew, and yes it is him. He’s married and has little kids. And also he lied to my friend about his age.
I feel terrible about this because I encouraged this relationship to my mentee/friend, and after she confronted Drew and screamed at him it has now become the Tea for both of our offices. So my friend is embarrassed, feels like everyone thinks she knew she was the side piece, which she didn’t, and she KNOWS everyone is talking about this constantly. And they are.
So where I need advice is in how to support my friend/mentee through this mess and apologize. I don’t want her to quit. Financially she can’t because she has a 12 month lease anyway and doesn’t come from like a rich family or anything. But how do you move through something like this and keep a good reputation at work?
Btw Drew and wife are not poly. Confirmed by one of my friends who is his friend. He was just cheating. That friend said his wife thought he was traveling for work all the nights he spent at mentee’s apartment.
Low stakes Friday question. Does anyone have a travel hair dryer they like? I have mid length straight hair and can’t deal with the uncertainty of hotel hair dryers!
I got the job! Waiting for background check to clear before giving notice but verrrry unmotivated right now.
hang tight and congrats!
The recruiter who rejected me, now wants to talk after all! Trying not to read too much into it and just be well prepared for the conversation.
I have an antique wood dining room table. I have kids and and a husband who isn’t delicate. How can I have a pretty table that we also won’t wreck with use? Table cloth? Place mats? Both? I want it to look good after getting this piece from my beloved aunt. And we will use it. Hopefully for a long time.
You can either use a tablecloth (ideally with something under for added protection in case of spills or get a protective glass top cut to fit. Neither is ideal if you want the visual look of a wood table. I gave up and just will refinish our nice real wood table at some point. A friend just coated theirs with very shiny wood sealant (?) like what they use in restaurants. If it’s real wood you can always change later.
what color shoes would you wear with a dark olive suit? talbots is showing black which i don’t love but not sure what shade of brown would work?