Tuesday’s Workwear Report: The Lancia Travel Dress
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
The blue slate color of this long-sleeved dress from M.M.LaFleur is one of my favorites. It’s not black, gray, or navy, but it’s still going to look appropriate in a formal business setting.
There is a matching blazer available, but I think I’d probably wear this without a topper in most situations.
The dress is $259 at M.M.LaFleur and comes in sizes 00-18. It also comes in six other colorways.
Sales of note for 9/5/25
- Nordstrom – Summer sale has started, up to 60% off top brands
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event: 30% off your entire purchase, including new arrivals
- Anthropologie – 30% off clothing and accessories
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- J.Crew – Everyday styles from $34.50 — see our full roundup of what to buy for work at J.Crew
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off fall faves + extra 60% off clearance
- L.K. Bennett – 20% off all new-season
- Nordstrom Rack – Season Closeout: extra 40% off select clearance dresses, sandals, shorts, and swimwear(ends 9/11)
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance sales
- Soma – 5 panties for $39 + 35% off 3+ styles + buy 2 get 3 free panties — readers love these PJs and these no-VPL panties
- Talbots – 25-40% off select fall styles + extra 30% all markdowns — here are all the reader favorites at Talbots
- White House Black Market – 50% off all sale styles (ends 9/5)
You’re 29, just got the keys to your first house yesterday, and just got engaged to your long time (8 years) boyfriend that you live with. What would you want as an engagement gift? Southeastern U.S. city. I’m thinking a little trinket dish for her to put her ring in at night. See Etsy link. But maybe that is not enough? She is first of us to get married.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/4340525936/custom-locked-ring-dish-personalized
Adding that I would not do the date on the dish since they don’t have a wedding date yet. I would just do their initials.
Custom envelope stamper. For all bills and what nots they’ll be mailing.
Noooo I mail things like twice a year this would be such an annoying gift and I would hate having to fake enthusiasm for it.
Yeah but they’ll have HUNDREDS of invitations and thank you cards to mail out for wedding related things!
The invitations will have the return address pre-printed, but it will be handy for thank-you notes. I have one of these and I love it. Don’t use it all that often but it’s priceless when I do need to mail something.
Know your audience? I would love this so much more than a ring dish.
Same!
I love mine and wish I had a few options even though I don’t mail things often.
I think the ring dish is cute but love this idea more (or can do return address labels if the stamper isn’t in a good price point). I think something small and meaningful is perfect.
This is especially handy given all the upcoming shower/gift occasions around a wedding – I’d be thrilled to receieve one!
Someone got us this as a little wedding/housewarming present. It’s been surprisingly useful!
Custom stationery — I did this for my niece and her fiancee, and they loved it. Think: Small notecards from Minted. It comes in so handy!!
A ring dish is a sweet gift, especially at that price point. I got one for my engagement almost 20 years ago now and still have it.
I’ve been giving nice cocktail glasses and they’ve been a hit in my friend group, but it probably varies. Also cheeseboards. You can monogram them.
ymmv, that would be clutter for me. I only take my rings off for messy house projects, etc. and then just store them in my jewelry box. Christmas ornaments (if relevant) for their engagement and their first home would be “useful” clutter IMHO!
Christmas ornaments that I didn’t pick out would be clutter. A ring dish would get used everyday.
Same
I recieved a set of small trinket dishes for our wedding 16 years ago and I use them for ring dishes next to the sinks in our home. I’m down to 3 out of the four surviving but I think fondly of the friend who gave them nearly daily!
Same here.
My friend group gives ornaments–all of our trees reflect ornaments we’ve given over the decades. Would hate a ring dish.
I also never take my rings off, so would be clutter for me.
I feel like everyone gives ring dishes and the like.
I’d do a nicer than usual housewarming style gift as a combined gift for both occasions. Things like a nice serving bowl or platter, a flower arrangement in a nice vase, welcome mat, wreath, very nice throw blanket, etc.
+1 I got so much random, wedding-specific stuff with our initials on it when I got married, and never used most of it.
Ring dish, a pair of nice champagne glasses, a vase and bouquet, or personalized cards and envelopes with their first initials. If you go for the stationary choose a neutral color and style.
My aunt’s go-to for special occasions has always been Tiffany crystal vases. I love mine.
+1 for Tiffany crystal – either a vase or champagne glasses. The champagne glasses are my go to as the store normally has them in stock and they are always well received. Depending on style, Nambe bowls (the ones that stay hot or cold) are also popular gifts.
A ring dish works – I don’t take my rings off, but use one for my keys. But – no offense – not that pattern. Something more modern or sleek.
I got and tossed about 10 ring dishes when I got engaged. I don’t like cheap stuff from Etsy.
What is your minimum dollar amount for an acceptable gift?
You sound like a peach.
She’s offering a perspective. I also don’t like this kind of thing.
Engagement gift are not a thing where I live, so I would probably do a housewarming style gift instead, e.g. salt, bread and wine, or some cut flowers.
Things I got as engagement gifts that I loved: ring dish, ring cleaner kit, ring holder bracelet and clip on, nice picture frames, wedding planning books, wedding planner binder, champagne glasses, physical bridal magazine.
Gift card to local nice restaurant
This, or even a substantial door dash for the moving day :)
I’m sure I’m in the minority here but the overwhelm of gifts specifically about getting married is claustrophobic to me. A grown ass woman does not need a man’s initials on all her stuff. Gross.
Or any of her stuff—the wedding industrial complex, just wow.
I really like this dusty blue color for suiting! Much more interesting than gray, but still unobtrusive.
My version of that, as someone with autumn coloring and especially as we head into fall, is a darker petrol blue/ muted teal.
I have a suit in this color from last year and it was a go-to. I have a matching shell so it is a “column of color” and I wore it a lot, including for interviews, and I think it served me very well.
Non-profit folks, reality check me:
I’ve been a director at a mid-size non profit for 3 years. I’ve had COL adjustments but not a raise or promotion/title change. I report to an exec so no room for promotion, but they have done title changes for other people to reflect increased scope.
Since I’ve joined the team has grown and also I do a lot more strategy work than this role did in the past. My team’s work is one of the main sources of funding for the org – so we’re important! And have become more important in the last year.
Any chance of me getting a raise or promotion? I asked my boss about the raise, she said she’d get back to me. Private sector friends tell me I should be getting one of these but I’m not sure if that’s how the nonprofit world works. I love this job but I also don’t want to short-change myself.
It probably depends on the non-profit but in general it’s much harder to get real raises than it is the corporate world.
Honestly, I’ve never been in a non profit with annual COLAs so that’s great that you’re getting those!
You could probably angle for a title change. Maybe a bonus. A real raise is probably unlikely.
How does your organization determine “cost of living” raises? I find with many employers, that term is disconnected from any inflationary reality, so it just means “the raise we are giving this year.” If that’s the case for your org, it may weaken your argument for a raise.
It’s supposed to be tied to inflation and I would say it was a little lower than inflation last year.
I am in a similar boat. maybe i’m a bit hyperbolic but they are not going to go out of their way to get you more money or a new title unless they think they are going to lose you. I would create a new job description with a new title, come up with a raise that is reasonable but meaningful and ask to present it. you frame it all with an “i love working here but i need to continue to meaningfully grow” if they come back with nothing then it’s time to start looking.
Okay I didn’t know if that framing was too harsh but sounds like its the way to go. The market is terrible right now but they do know that I have other options if I looked for them. Like they know I wouldn’t be complacent.
I’m not sure your sector but at least in my area and with those I’m familiar with, the macro environment for non-profits right now is really hard. For the one I’m most involved with, we’re doing our best to support employees but honestly keeping the non-profit running and maintaining their jobs is the best we can do right now beyond small raises. So I’d say yes, raises can and should happen, but it’s a lot easier in a time when the nonprofit funding world is more stable.
In my experience in non-profits, a title change is the only way to get a meaningful raise within an organization, and leaving for a better title elsewhere gets you the biggest raise.
If you want to stay, I agree with the poster who said you need to write up a new job description and title. If your org has salary grades, make sure you’re writing the job description to meet the next level from your current grade. I’ll also note that even if your boss agrees with you, if the funding isn’t there, you’ll be out of luck and will be marked as a flight risk. That can work for or against you, but it’s something you should consider.
The funny thing is the title associated with my “grade” is higher than my actual title. So at least that change should be attainable.
You might if you push hard, but this is a terrible job market; my nonprofit is getting lots of very overqualified people for open positions right now. In general, I think you have to leave to get a big bump at most nonprofits, unless maybe they are truly giant. I’ve worked at the same nonprofit for 10 years and got one big raise in that time. But I am not great at self-advocacy. How is the organization doing financially? Are you underpaid compared to people at the same level with the organization (i.e. other managers), or at peer organizations (people with the same title at orgs of similar budget and field)?
The organization is doing well financially, actually. That’s why I brought this up at all. I’m very aware that we weren’t always financially okay to ask for this but are now.
I’m slightly underpaid compared to people at the same level, and definitely underpaid compared to peer organizations. Part of the issue is that I came in at a “grade” or 2 lower than what I’m doing right now.
Don’t be so sure of that—- start applying for some of these jobs at your level and below and see if you get hits/interview requests, etc. It can’t be overstated how saturated the market is right now. Plus you have professionals with federal/public sector backgrounds and academia coming for non profit positions for more stability.
It doesn’t sound like you have much to lose by trying, but they may call your bluff.
When I was nonprofit, we technically got “merit” raises annually; but iirc they were usually clustered close to 2% for everyone, so they kind of acted more like COLA’s (which we did not get). Typically every 2-3 years, decently-performing people expected a title-promotion like (senior->staff) that came with a ~10k raise.
That said – I realize in retrospect (I was young and naive) that I probably left money on the table. Our leadership would say no to raise/promotion requests once, citing it being a non profit, but there were definitely people – and I can see now how they were usually men – who kept pushing back, and got off-cycle raises, or special new benefits announced with conditions that made it only apply to them, etc. One of them told me off the record that he simply informed the ED he was going to leave if he didn’t get it. So in many ways, it functioned like a for-profit; if you negotiated for extra and were valued, you got it. I was valued enough I could have pushed for that; I took “well we’re a nonprofit, so we don’t really do that” far too much at face value.
I know people who have special new benefits etc! And a title promotion and a $10k raise wouldn’t make me ecstatic, but I would take it.
Take the person with special new benefits out for a drink or two, and ask how they got it! That honestly does sound like there’s more room for pushing than you might realize
I think it was basically hinting that they will look for other jobs if not! So its not a place where you can’t push back or not.
I have always worked in nonprofits. IME the norm is about a 2% “merit increase” every year, unless the org wants to demonstrate to funders that it’s tightening its belt so there are no increases. There are a couple of promotions in the first decade but none after that.
In my 20 years in nonprofit experience, I’ve gotten only 1 title change – in my first job after grad school. About half the orgs I’ve worked at have done a small, 1-2% COLA/raise across the organization. I was at one org that did it 2xs in 5 years, total.
I’ve been able to get raises by taking new jobs at different organizations. Generally in nonprofits, you can’t work yourself up the ladder the way that corporate folks can. There’s typically no internal hiring or movement unless someone quits or retires.
Given you’ve been there 3 years, I would job search for a higher role with greater pay. Three years is awhile in the nonprofit world.
I love the shape of this dress but am wary of the polyester. Can anyone recommend something similar in cotton or wool? Or I guess maybe reassure me about MMLF’s poly?
I try to wear cotton as much as possible generally, but actually really like MMLF’s polys. The texture does not bother me at all (and I’m sensitive to textures), and I have some much-older dresses from them that have held up well through many many washes and wears.
I have a strong preference for natural fibers, but I’ve found that some of MMLF’s heavier poly suiting fabrics are fine. Not hot or stinky, wrinkle-free.
I have the short-sleeve version of this dress, and it’s wonderful. Very lightweight and breathable. I also have a preference for natural fabrics, but this specific polyester didn’t bother me.
The Boden Ottoman dress is the same shape, but with long sleeves and 50% cotton.
Is anyone else in a career that they’re good at, but realize it isn’t the right fit? Or maybe you took a big risk and did change careers? For many reasons, now is not ideal for me to consider a career change. But I recognize so many attributes of myself (now late 30s) that I did not appreciate before grad school that would have lent themselves to altogether different industries and careers. I feel a bit sad and defeated that those paths are gated off from me, at least for now. I think I wouldn’t feel like I’m working against myself so much in a job that suited my natural skills and attributes.
If I were you, I’d start exploring one or two of those paths at the level you CAN manage, now. Even if you can’t make a big life change. Take one class a semester — or a year. Or even just start listening to experts in that field give talks. Read books. Explore.
Thanks–those are great ideas. I am listening to podcasts in the industry, studying for a certification, and learning industry news. I think I could fully transition in 5 to 10 years, which sounds short when careers are decades long, but it also feels far off. One year at a time, I guess!
I am in a similar boat. For the past few years I’ve been coping by leaning way into a hobby that had at one point been my career goal, before I gave it up because it wasn’t a liveable career for a single person. It’s not the same as being a real professional but it gives me some purpose and satisfaction.
I’m the OP, and one thing I’ve realized about my current career is that I’m not a desk person! I’ve leaned hard into gardening as a hobby because it gives me an outlet. If I can successfully pivot into another industry, though, maybe I won’t be quite so desk-tied even if I’m not outside in the garden. Sometimes I joke that in 50 years, we’ll recognize that sitting in a desk chair for 12 hours a day is so bad for our health it will be an OSHA violation.
There is a landscape preservation area in my city (Wave Hill if you are NYC-based) that takes volunteers to lead tours and even on horticulture. Maybe look for similar opportunities which won’t necessarily lead to career change but seem like they would provide you much career-like satisfaction based on your interest.
I mean, I have no idea what career you are in now, but can you pivot within your existing job type? Most jobs have really really different types of doing what you do.
E.g. an electrician – are you the type who is consumer facing, doing tiny jobs and making friends in the neighborhood? Maybe you only do massive jobs on condo high rises. Maybe you manage jobs/quotes and other electricians and barely do any “technical” work. Maybe you work in an industrial factory on giant machines. Sure you are an “electrician” no matter what, but the technical and people skills that would help you succeed are totally different, and one isn’t clearly a better career than the other.
Idk where else to ask this so here goes: I was “gardening” with my boyfriend last night and all of a sudden he couldn’t keep it up anymore. He said it happens sometimes and it’s a mental thing, but he’s worried about it happening and the more he worries about it, the more it happens. I tried reassuring him that it was fine and offering to do things to help but I could tell he was kind of mentally spiraling. I want us to have a solid gardening life and want to help, but I’m not really sure what to do. Any ideas?
He probably should not assume that because it’s it’s a mental thing there isn’t also something physiological going on, because even if there’s an underlying medical condition contributing, odds are very high that this kind of symptom is ALSO going to be become a mental thing very quickly!
What’s his age? Super common. Send him to the doctor. It is absurd how simple a fix this is for men. He’ll take a pill, and he will be fine. This comes for all relationships eventually. Solider on.
In the moment when it happens — please just take a break. Men seem to think it’s our job as women to become wildly sexual acrobatic pleasers to reinvigorate things & get the job done … but it’s not our responsibility and that doesn’t address the real problem (which is his).
Make sure that your gardening menu isn’t only based on PIV action, but a broader menu.
With more menu items and ways to have a successful session, there is also less pressure on this one way for him to “perform”.
How old is he? My husband is 50 and viagra is just a normal part of our lives. A 50 year old body is different than a 25 year old body.
Just being supportive and affectionate, and not making it a big deal is key. When this happens to my partner occasionally, he already spirals enough in his own head, so anything I can do to take the pressure out of that moment is good. I haven’t tested this scientifically (lol) but I believe that when I draw out the foreplay longer than I strictly would need it to be, it seems to help. I assume because the mind has more time to become singularly focused and minimize distracting thoughts.
OP here—he’s 40. Logically I know that it isn’t my problem to solve and it’s not that he’s not attracted to me, but it definitely felt like that in the moment. I’m trying to not get in my head and avoid my own anxiety spiral about this :)
This happened with my husband in his 30s. Do not take it personally, that makes it 10x worse! If it’s a recurring problem, ask him to talk to his doctor and get a prescription. We had to up his prescription slightly for it to work consistently so keep that in mind. It will be okay. Just a bump in the road. Thank God for modern medicine, right?
Emily Nagoski’s book “Come As You Are” is helpful for men and women.
I live in a conservative state at the moment and just finished calling my doctor’s office and pharmacy and the local health department and I haven’t found anywhere that for sure will have the COVID vaccine. Anyone else in a similar boat or know how I can get my family vaccinated? I hate how political this is and I don’t even know if there’s anyone who I could complain to that would listen and be in a position to do anything.
If you live close to a border, check out neighboring states – in my experience, vaccine access hasn’t been a 1:1 correlation with blue/red states, so it’s worth checking.
Look for a local/state level reddit/Facebook group/wherever people are active- this has been a pretty active topic of discussion in my area recently, with day-to-day changes in access.
The new 2025 vaccines are *just* rolling out – if you’re striking out now, check again in a few weeks, don’t give up! If you see your primary care provider for any reason, worth asking for a script for the vaccine even if you don’t know where to take it yet – at least you’ll have it, and it *might* help
Finally, in my area folks have been reporting that they can’t make a vaccine appointment at local pharmacies, but if they make a flu appointment, the pharmacist also had and could add COVID for them on the spot. Because it’s changing so quickly, some big chains websites and phone line info are out of date – might be worth just showing up, rather than calling around
Are you near enough to a blue state to go there? My pharmacy messaged me to say they have the updated vaccine already.
My blue state has the updated vaccine as well. I also got a message from our national chain pharmacy.
I’m on work travel next week and snagged an appointment at the cvs in that state since I can’t get one here in dc…
I see open appointment slots at my CVS in the District! This might be new availability.
I don’t think this is a red state vs blue state thing. I live in a very red state and got it easily at CVS. My in-laws live in NY and couldn’t get it, because of some complication with the state government approval. Anyway, they went to New Jersey to get it, so I agree on checking neighboring states.
For the folks on here who moved to the UK from other countries, how did you deal with stuff like getting a doctor/making sure there was continuity in your prescriptions? I have a couple of friends in the UK who are always complaining about how long it takes to get in to see their doctors. Do I try to stockpile a few months of prescriptions before I leave the US? Is this something a relocation service can help figure out?
I think it makes a lot of sense to have at least a few months’ worth of necessary medicine when you’re moving, assuming you can swing it and it won’t cause you problems at the border/with law enforcement. I’d do this if I was moving to a new US state, let alone a different country.
Yeah, as someone who has moved frequently, I’m always hoarding my prescriptions because it takes forever to get in with new doctors even in the US (last time I moved it was 12+ months for PCP, gyn, and derm and 7 for neuro). The tricky part is figuring out what you’re allowed to bring into the country.
I stockpiled several months worth of my prescriptions before I left. It was a pain, but here’s what worked for me:
Step 1: You need to contact your doctor and talk to them about it. There’s a specific way they need to write the script to dispense X months at once (I’d recommend seeing if you can do 6 months).
Step 2: Simultaneously, go to the pharmacy (in person) and speak to the pharmacist directly. Let them know that the script is coming and that it is intended to be to dispense X months at once. Then they’ll put it into your insurance, which will deny it (I tried calling insurance in advance but it didnt work–they said it needs to be submitted and denied first).
Step 3: You need to call the insurance, and tell them you need it dispensed at once as a vacation override because you’re going abroad for several months.
In the UK, as soon as you get a national insurance number, make sure you register with the NHS GP surgery (i.e. office) closest to your new home. And make an appointment to discuss prescriptions, it may take awhile and be challenging to get an appointment. Alternatively, consider private insurance and private doctors. That was the route I ended up going (happy to give a London rec if you’d like one).
Thank you for the step-by-step! I am in the very early stages of figuring out the move now, so I’ve got some time on this end to work on the stockpile. London is the landing spot, so a rec would be great. My friends are in Manchester and Edinburgh so they haven’t been able to share London specifics.
What’s a nice zip up hoodie these days? I’m 5’10 and a size 12. I also have 2 teen girls so if I get an aviator nation one it will be constantly stolen. Looking for other recs ;).
Try a surf brand. I like Roxy.
American Giant hoodies are really nice! the classic ones are very very heavy; i think their newer ones are called “every day” or something and is more like the weight of the sweatshirts you’re used to.
I’m struggling with a new grandboss. The context is we’re all remote, we’ve met a few times in person, but she is very closed off and seems to not have much trust with anyone in our organization.
Recently I spent over a week on a deck for a presentation she was going to give. We had 2 team meetings about it, with the team I lead, and she was on the calls. I wrote a draft of the content, and we collectively edited it. I made an agenda, timing the presentation down to the minute, and finalized the deck. I sent her everything she needed, and I thought all was well. Then, the day of the presentation, I drafted a thank you letter for her and sent to her assistant as we had discussed. I also attached a PDF of the deck. Come to find out, over the weekend she decided to do a completely different deck that was longer and had several totally new slides. She didn’t explain, just sent an email that she decided to use a different deck.
I’m really confused. I feel like I wasted a week of intense work, but she also wasted over 2 hours of calls, too. I don’t understand what could have happened to completely change her mind between Friday, when we finalized the deck, and yesterday’s meeting. I’m also concerned because the pitch was really tight. I had included speaker notes (which she had seen and OKed) and a tight agenda for each slide. The deck she made didn’t have any of that. This exec tends to talk to much and ramble, too, so my boss had encouraged me to give her speaker notes to stay on time and task.
Where do I go from here? My boss is OOO this week. I didn’t reply to her email about the new deck other than to add it to the draft follow up email. I’m trying not to take this personally, and I want to support her.
something like “oh thank you for letting me know. I thought we were in final form after all the reviews last week. It looks like you spent awhile on this afterward – is there any context you could provide so that my team knows how to create better work product for next time?”
maybe she got last minute feedback, or more time, or the exec wanted to go a different direction after reviewing… and didn’t want to suck up your weekend?
This is my read. It sounds like she was good with your work given your collaboration, but decided something different was needed at the last minute.
It sounds like you did a great job and did exactly what she asked of you, but for whatever reason, she went a different direction at the last minute and didn’t loop you in until it was done. This is so, so common. There could be many reasons she changed course and it’s likely that none of them had anything to do with your work product, especially if she is at the executive level. It could have come from higher ups or be based on info you aren’t or can’t be privy to. For all you know, she was happy to use your deck but got a last minute directive that caused her to have to redo it over the weekend. I doubt she intentionally wasted two hours in meetings if she knew she wasn’t going to use your deck.
It is really frustrating to feel like you wasted weeks doing intense work – I get it. I’ve been in your shoes before and I just try to remind myself that I did my part when it was required, and that was valuable. It would have been used if they didn’t change course, and (hopefully?) provided a great starting point. Whether it is ultimately used is out of my hands. If you didn’t get personal criticism about the work, don’t take it personally. There’s just no need and it will eat you alive.
At my org, this sounds like too much effort went into this side deck and that you gave her a bunch of things she didn’t want or need. She may have used that two hours and the speaker notes to get up to speed and then tweaked it to fit her presentation style, so it’s not necessarily a waste of time.
That aside, you need to get past the feeling that she did this wrong, that she “talks too much” and that she isn’t trusted. If you can’t let go of the judgment, she’ll pick up on it quickly and try to remove you from her team.
This last sentence is good feedback. Take it to heart.
I agree with you! The challenge is my direct supervisor is instructing me to, in her words, “put guardrails on the grandboss” to somehow make sure she stays on task during presentations. It’s not a great position to be in.
flying to a 3 day conference. bringing one black suit, one khacki suit and the third day will wear the jacket of one and the pants of the other. what color shoe is best with both? last conference i went to with these outfits i wore sambas. may do that again but open to suggestions.
black shoes
Leopard, or a color. Black shoes with a khaki suit sounds terrible to me, unless your shirt is black and it’s very intentional.
I keep seeing snakeskin this season; is this situation what it is for?
late so i may ask in the afternoon thread — how much is everyone paying your financial advisor? i keep hearing fee-based, not commissions, but what does that look like? many thanks!
We pay our fee-only financial advisor $400 whenever we meet with him, which is usually every 2-3 years
is that an hour, or more? thanks to the OP for asking this.
The session is 60-90 minutes