Who Do You Share Your Location With?
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Who do you “share your location” with? Parents? Partners? Friends? When do you remove the access? When do you think someone crosses the line with knowing your location?
Readers had an interesting conversation last week about someone who wanted her husband to check in when he arrived and left an event, with a lot of readers saying this is what “share your location” is for. And I've definitely appreciated being able to see my husband's location if he's traveling, or my son's location (via an Apple AirTag) if he's on a school field trip for a few days. We also put AirTags inside any luggage we check.
But sometimes things strike me as a bit weird. I have two mom friends who started sharing location years ago during a shared family vacation and never really stopped, and the Mom 2 will comment, frequently, on Mom 1's location and whereabouts. I understand that she isn't looking up Mom 1's location (because you just see everyone all at once, at least with Find My iPhone), but it still strikes me as overstepping typical boundaries among friends.
Meanwhile, one family member (love you if you're reading this!) is also a bit fixated on Find My iPhone — if someone is late to dinner they'll check in on the latecomer, and frequently will watch, with rapt attention, as their sibling makes their way home from concerts or other outings. It's kind of amusing because this family member falls asleep during every TV show or movie, but it isn't a problem to watch Find My iPhone for 45 minutes or more.
I could see location sharing being weird in other ways, like with friendships that have grown a bit colder than they once were. Wouldn't you be offended to see the “Jane stopped sharing her location with you” notification? Or with an ex with whom you share custody — I can see “share your location” being helpful so you know when/where the ex and your child are if they're late, but I can also see it being way too much information to have about an ex, even if you're on good terms.
Readers, what are your thoughts — whom do you share your location with, how do you handle it when you want to stop sharing your location, and how often do you personally use Find My iPhone to find someone or something?
Stock photo via Pexels / Lara Jameson.
Never. I didn’t even know this was a thing you could/would do until a year ago. But I’ve always been a less is more (when it comes to sharing info about myself with others) kind of person.
About 10 friends (some local, some not – the nots are holdovers from college ~ a decade ago).
I’m single, but I’m share with a SO. My family doesnt have iPhones, but I’d share with my parents and siblings if they did.
My friends and I just use it to a) safety (we always text when we get home after hanging out at night, but sometimes people forget so it’s nice to know they got home) and b) convenience when meeting up (how far away, did they leave yet? Should I leave yet?)
This may be generational. I don’t know any adult who location-shares their own self. Quick texts to say “heading home” however are really normal.
AirTag use for checked bags etc. is very different and super common.
Same – I am 40 and was only vaguely aware this was a thing you could do.
I share for a brief time (20 minutes) if I’m picking someone up or meeting in a busy place, so we find each other. That’s it.
This is me. It’s so easy to share for bits of time and that’s the only sharing I do. If I am heading home late or need you to know where I am so that you can find me. Otherwise never, not even with spouse.
I think it’s weird. I have an adult relative who shares with her mother so the mom doesn’t worry and I’ve watched the mom stare at her phone to see that her daughter is safe for extended period of time. I don’t think it’s a good habit for anyone.
I’m sure this is generational but no one. When the feature first became available, my husband and I tried it and then we both felt like it was weird and turned it off after a day. We text each other ETAs/anything relevant, and if I’m out with a friend, we do the “text me when you get home” thing.
No one
Only my husband, and only recently after he texted he was on his way home and showed up two hours later. Bonus: he tends to misplace his phone so it will be handy for that, too.
I only share with my immediate family members – i.e., my husband and our kids, all of whom are still technically living at home. I know that my kids have made groups and share their location with some of their friends, which occasionally leads to a bit of drama.
No one. Although my inlaws and extended family on that side all share. We’ve politely declined. I was doubly glad to not be a part of that nonsense after witnessing the grilling that’s occurred about whereabouts. “Why are you at the airport so much?” “Sometime we see you out REALLY late at night.” Etc. And the grillers aren’t necessarily the ones I would have expected!
I suspect this is highly generational. My (mid-20s) daughter shares with something like 10 people (her boyfriend and her former college roommates), primarily for logistics and safety reasons. It made her feel better that her roommates knew where she is in case of an emergency and they never turned it off (and now they are in three separate countries!).
I am single so no significant other to share with. I de facto share with my daughter because we use the same Apple account so we can each see where the other is. I check on her when she is travelling and she does the same, but we are not monitoring each other day to day. I once asked her if she was bothered by me checking on her location and she said no because I was only checking on her safety and not trying to control her. And she does the exact same thing with me.
With my DH, sister, and parents. We’re all extremely close. It just makes things easier.
No one. I’m single but still don’t share with any of my friends (and they’ve never shared with me either.)
With my adult child and my best friend. For the last few years my husband has travelled for 6 weeks at a time and child was off at college and my friend said she felt better when she saw that the people important to her were tucked in for the night. Would share with my husband, but he is the lone Android user in the family.
Every time I take a Lyft I share with someone (do people not all do this?).
I’ve lost consciousness in public before (for medical reasons), so my bar is low to share location with someone I know and trust.
DH, my dad, one friend. Sharing with DH is super helpful because we both have a lot of evening work functions and travel a lot for work, so we can see who is back at the hotels at the end of the day and determine whether it’s a good time to call and catch up
No one. I didn’t know this was a thing. I’m 40.
I occasionally share my location using the “until end of day” option when I’m traveling for work and I want to make it easier for DH to find my body (i kid.. kind of). But like… no. It’s no one’s dang business where I am at every moment of every day, and that includes my husband. We trust one another and that’s good enough for me.
I guess I do sometimes share my location within the uber app when it’s late and I’m traveling solo. Again, that goes to DH only and it’s within the uber app so just for the duration of the ride.
100%, this sums up my feelings completely. I’m 37, dh is 40, and we both feel this way. We just text each other schedule updates.
But my bff is the same ages as me and has her husband plus 5-10 other close friends that she can see the location of all the time. I have another close friend my age who I know shares with her husband. I wouldn’t say it’s a problem for any of them, but I’ve watched them pull up locations just out of curiosity fairly often.
Totally fine for them but it feels more surveillance-y than convenient for me personally.
We also don’t have ring cameras for similar feelings.
Nobody. Like everyone else is saying, I think this is generational. Plus husband and I both wfh and spend a lot of our outside the house time together, so most of the time there’s not much need to track. We just text when on our way home so we know when to expect the other person.
Parents, spouse, and one family member who is elderly and often needs me to pick him up from somewhere.
Husband and kids. I mostly use it to check on my young teens when they are biking home and are late. They use it to see how close I am when I’m late picking them up. I never check on my husband, but he doesn’t run late!
We choose not to do it in our household. Feels unhealthy. Will share for an hour (iPhone feature) if we’re trying to meet up at a busy public event or something of that nature.
Husband, sister and a few running friends that I travel with a lot (so it saves from having to share each trip).
Hmm. DH and one of our kids (other one doesn’t have a phone yet). We rarely use it in that way, opting to text each other if it seems important to share, but it’s nice to know it’s there in case of an emergency or extenuating circumstances.
My husband, sister, and four close friends and I share reciprocally. Two are frequent running friends, and we share for several reasons (seeing if they’re on the way if haven’t showed up for a 6 am workout or if we can start without them, if they’re safe on their solo runs, and because we often travel together as mentioned above), other two are besties and it is just often convenient. I also share with one good friend who doesn’t reciprocate, which is fine.
And since I’m an outlier in this thread, I’ll note than I’m 40.
My husband (29) still has an app for it on his phone for his parents and siblings, leftover from high school. I do not understand it and it’s always felt a little invasive and icky to me, but I cannot deny the convenience of checking where they are on the drive to our house when we’re expecting them for dinner. My husband knows better than to ask me if I want to share my location. (I really, really don’t)
No one. We communicate our plans and whereabouts, and we always have a meet-up plan in case of separation.
I do with my parents. My dad has a lot of health issues and is often alone, but he refuses to use any other technology. My mother and I decided to do this as a group so that we wouldn’t single anyone out.
Fun question – I’m in the minority here! I share with at least 10 people, a mix of friends, family, and coworkers who are also friends. I will only share with people who share back with me, and I enjoy checking in on “my sims” in the app. I guess I don’t really feel like I have anything to hide from these folks – I’d give any of them my home address if they didn’t already have it – and it doesn’t feel like an invasion of privacy for one of these people to know that I’m out to dinner or at the doctor or hiking a mountain or whatever. Like others said, I find it very convenient for coordinating meeting up with someone, and for checking to see if someone is at home before I call, and for safety reasons.