How to Deal with Extreme Coworkers

how to deal with extreme coworkersReaders, what’s your best advice for how to deal with extreme coworkers? We’ve talked about what to do when your boss has it out for you, but not in a while — so I asked lawyer/journalist Rebecca Berfanger to offer some advice… – Kat

Have you ever had a coworker or a supervisor who took things to the extreme at work? Maybe she screamed often or threw things, maybe she bragged about how she gave up sleep in order to put in longer hours, maybe she worked every holiday and weekend, or maybe she never took any breaks, not even to leave her desk or eat? Maybe she survived only on lattes? Did this coworker or boss expect you to be equally extreme in order to prove your loyalty to your job or clients? Was it actually an expectation of all coworkers — or just this one?

We’ve talked about difficult coworkers before, but this is more about those who know they are acting extreme and expect you to put up with them, or they believe that to be successful, you must behave in a similar way. If you’ve never had to work with an extreme person at work, consider yourself lucky. Studies have shown that a toxic work environment can cause extreme stress, including post-traumatic stress disorder.

So how can you deal with extreme coworkers?

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How to Organize Your Personal Email

how to organize your personal emailReaders, what are your tips on how to organize your personal email(s)? Do you use tools like Unroll.Me to keep clutter low, a ton of Gmail filters, or some other trick or hack? Do you practice a zero inbox policy with personal emails — and how do you keep from getting overwhelmed? (Psst: I know a lot of you use Outlook for work — have any great Outlook tips or hacks to share? We’re working on a separate post and will compile them all. Do you like to use a program like Outlook to handle personal email as well, or do you just visit the websites or use the apps?)

I’m totally overwhelmed myself, so I’m not sure I’m the best to share my tips and tricks — still, this is how I set up my various Gmail accounts (all four of them…)

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How to Deal When Your Boss Makes Rude Comments About Your Engagement Ring

boss makes rude comments about my engagement ring - advice from Corporette on how to dealOoh, here’s a great reader Q today: how to deal when your boss makes rude comments about your engagement ring. Here’s Reader C’s question:

I am recently engaged, and am having difficulty handling my boss’s reaction. Specifically, he makes “joking” comments about when I will be quitting now that I am engaged. He gave me a hard time for eating my sack lunch saying I “can obviously afford a $10 lunch given that ring.” He also asked me how much my ring was worth (it is a nice ring, but nothing extravagant, ~1.5 carats). I work at a Big 4 firm for reference and am a highly rated employee. Help! How should I handle this??

Wow… I have multiple angry emojis for your boss. We haven’t talked about diamond rings at work in a while, and I can’t wait to see what the readers say. (This has shades of some of our other discussions on sexism at work, including the offensive client who commented on how expensive a bag was, as well as our discussion on how to deal when you work with sexist pigs.)

For my $.02, I think that you need to take your boss aside and say something directly, because this goes beyond “razzing you like one of the boys in the office” or whatever it is HE thinks he’s doing. This is calling up stereotypes of women who quit as soon as they get married — the type who go to grad school for an “MRS.” SUPER fun stereotype, but it can be really harmful to the work environment as well as to your own career. Keep in mind, this is what he’s saying to your face — who knows what he’s saying behind your back? You might want to find another woman in your group to talk this out before approaching him, because she will hopefully know the different personalities at play.

Readers, what would your script with the boss look like? How would you handle it if your boss made rude comments about your engagement ring at work?

Picture via Stencil.how to deal when your boss makes rude comments about your engagement ring - image of a bride's ring finger

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The Best Ways to Relax After A Stressful Day

The Best Ways to Relax After a Stressful DayHere’s a fun topic: what are the best ways to relax after a stressful day? We had an open thread about ways to relax a thousand years ago (well, 2010), and we’ve talked about ways to turn off work mode and how to turn a bad day around, but it’s been a while there too. So let’s hear it, ladies — what are your favorite ways to relax after a stressful day? What things do you do on the daily to help you unwind — and what things do you build into your schedule regularly to help reduce stress and help you relax? Do tricks like rituals or compartmentalization help you relax?

For my $.02, as I’ve mentioned before I read super silly brain candy books at bedtime, which usually helps me with whatever anxiety is ailing me that day (or unwind from whatever outrage-inducing thing I read in the news or on Facebook that evening) — and if I’m really stressed out I may just get into bed after the kids are down and read my book or play on my iPad instead of settling in front of the TV. I can never quite get the hang of doing serious exercising at night, but a long walk & talk on my cell phone often helps me relax. If I’m skittish and overthinking things, making lists sometimes helps me relax because the list becomes a brain dump — and it lets me know that I can hit the ground running the next day. I’m not really a bubble bath person, but a long hot shower at the end of the day is also a good way to unwind. This is probably as close as I get to a ritual — if I’ve had a stressful day I actively think it’s time to “wash the day off and start fresh.” In terms of semi-regular things, a massage always helps get rid of knots — if I’m really tense and can’t get away I sometimes try to do foam rolling with the guidance of videos like this one from Livestrong/Ashley Borden. Also in terms of semi-regular things (I guess?), I recently started going to Mass again, mostly because I’m forcing my 6 year old to do PSR and his classes are at the same time — and it’s been interesting to note how just sitting quietly for 45-60 minutes is relaxing, even if I’m not really listening or following along with the Mass — no phone to play with, no 10,000 tabs open (either mentally or literally), no to-do lists… (I know, bad Catholic!).

How about you guys — what do you think is the best way to relax after a stressful day? What do you do on a daily basis, a weekly basis, a monthly basis, and a quarterly basis to keep stress away? Are there things you AVOID at the end of the day because you know they’ll stress you out?best ways to relax after a stressful day - image of towel, tealights, and a rose

Picture via Stencil.

What are the best ways to relax after a stressful work day -- and what are the best ways to keep stress at bay (or to a minimum)? We rounded up some thoughts, and then asked the Corporette readers...

 

Financial Tips for Women Lawyers Just Starting in BigLaw (Or Other Very High Paying Gigs)

Financial advice for women lawyers (and others new to high paying gigs like BigLaw!)Here’s an odd post that I don’t think we’ve ever done: financial advice for women lawyers starting in BigLaw or other big corporate gigs with lots of money. Starting salaries for lawyers can be as high as $180,000 these days, so it can definitely be a great first salary! It’s a good idea to be prepared for the ways that working in BigLaw will affect your finances. Here’s some of our top financial advice for women lawyers:

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Who Do You Follow on LinkedIn, Twitter, and Medium?

Who are your favorite LinkedIn Influencers?Our recent post asking for recommendations for the best podcasts for professionals brought tons of reader comments, so now we’re wondering: Who do you follow on LinkedIn, Twitter, and Medium (and other platforms), for professional reasons and otherwise? Whose thoughts, advice, and analysis do you appreciate most? Is there anyone whose writing you’ve added to your daily or weekly reading list specifically because that person’s experiences and/or views are very different from your own? Or (no matter what your political leanings are) do you fear you’ve created a virtual echo chamber where everyone more or less shares your views? (See SNL’s sketch from last year, “The Bubble.”)

(Corporette isn’t super active on any of the platforms, but you can follow us here: Twitter, Medium, and LinkedIn.)

Psst: We’ve also discussed the best TED talks for working women and must-read business books and other resources for how to become a leader

We’d love to hear your recommendations for the viewpoints you enjoy reading — and to start the conversation, here are a few wide-ranging suggestions for people and publications for professionals to follow on Medium:

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