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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
This short-sleeved top from Iris & Ink would be a beautifully versatile, year-round piece. Wear it to work under a blazer; wear it out on the weekends with your favorite denim. The care label suggests that you dry clean it, which is often a dealbreaker for me, but check out our post on the difference between “dry clean” and “dry clean only” care labels for some suggestions.
The top is $200 at The Outnet and comes in UK sizes 4–16. It also comes in azure.
Quince has a similar top in washable silk that's $49.90 and available in sizes XS–XL.
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Nancy
Trying to find a secret santa gift for a friends boyfriend (our whole friend group is doing secret santa) –
Late 20s, recently started working in big law in California, not sporty. I would get him like a pop history book but I don’t think he’s have time to read that with work right now. Basically he has interests – soccer, traveling etc – but no time for any of them right now.
A big thing for him is trying to up his wardrobe and just belonging in general now that he is in a much more formal environment that we were in before. Budget around $75
Anon
Tie? Dress socks?
Anon.
I like the tie idea.
kag
Something from Suitsupply
Anon
Bombas socks, assuming his firm is not business formal every day.
OOO
A leather pad folio. Or a nice shaving/grooming set
anon
Soccer scarf?
anon
This is the correct answer. Find out his favorite team.
Anon
Swag for his favorite soccer team?
oldladylawyer
3 or 4 chargers. no frills and everyone loves them and uses them.
Anon
Zzzzzzz
Anon
Oh I would love this haha
Anon.
Me too, always love practical gifts.
anon
Add in an 8ft charging cord too!
anon
That’s a great idea!
Anon
Who doesn’t have enough chargers as is? I have one in my bedroom, my living room, packed and ready in my suitcase, in my car, at my office, and at my parents’ house. I truly have no use for other chargers. They’re all 6-12 ft cords too, depending on where they are.
Anon
Congratulations on being perfect! The rest of us mere mortals go through chargers like paper towels.
Anon
I have enough charging cables, too….
Anon
I put long charging cables in everyone’s stocking every year. Big hit.
anon
Gift card to Peter Millar. The brand is having a moment with the nouveau yuppie set.
Anonymous
I don’t know whether you could find a coffee table book of pop history in your budget, but that would give him something to look through casually without actually having to make time to read.
Anon
Nice bottle of liquor, good tie, leather passport cover, luxe socks, novelty sports item.
Anonie
Maybe a nice cashmere quarter zip pullover? Ask his gf for his size (and maybe whether this would be a good gift). My BigLaw spouse lives in these in the fall/winter – over a button down they are really nice elevated business casual IMO:
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/half-zip-cotton-cashmere-pullover-sweater-regular-tall/3736650?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FMen%2FClothing%2FSweaters&color=023
JD
What about healthy-ish but exotic snacks from the various options out there. The lawyer types around here always talk about crazy hours, and that could be fun and easy to have on hand. You just want to pick ones that feel exotic and enough bulk to justify the price tag.
Anon
Today’s New York Times has a great story on Thanksgiving meal prep. It’s very interactive with lots of options and info. Wishing you all a very happy Thanksgiving.
Pep
Do you have a gift link for it?
I’m attending a Friendsgiving/potluck type dinner and I have been assigned…stuffing.
I don’t eat stuffing, have never made it, and wouldn’t know good stuffing if it bit me on the ass.
Does anyone have a sure-fire recipe to share?
Anon
You can never go wrong with the Contessa. https://www.eater.com/21562996/ina-garten-stuffing-recipe, it’s more like a bread pudding.
Anne-on
I’ve used this one multiple times. I prefer apples to pears and use regular white wine instead of sweet wine but otherwise make it as written. I would imagine you could also sub in olive oil or another oil for the butter to make it vegan. It’s a very ‘meaty’/umami filled stuffing thanks to the fruit and nuts so it’s a good option if you have any hardcore ‘must have sausage’ stuffing enthusiasts (both granddads in our family).
https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/winter-fruit-and-nut-stuffing-107294
Anon88
Not OP but here’s the gift link – https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2023/11/14/dining/how-to-plan-thanksgiving-dinner.html?unlocked_article_code=1.-Uw.5Iav.gvofbYbbFfnD&smid=url-share
Anonymous
I absolutely love my mom’s oyster stuffing. But every year my husband and step son try to hide that they’re not eating any, so I won’t push the recipe. LOL
Anon
I would love and appreciate your mom’s oyster dressing, if you are willing to share the recipe.
Anon
A lot of butter, a generous amount of onions and celery (they shrink down a lot while sauteeing) and everyone loves this. It’s the classic flavored stuffing. Don’t mess with perfection IMO
https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/simple-is-best-dressing
Anon
Stuffing is my favorite part of any Thanksgiving dinner. I’ve never used a recipe but this is the recipe that matches what I make.
Cora
What’s your favorite small thing for your apartment that helps make it feel more luxurious, or helps you “romanticize your life”? <$100. Trying to think of what to put on a holiday wishlist, and things like that I wouldn't buy for myself but I really like.
Anon
Nest candles.
Anon
Pretty containers for my houseplants.
Cb
I have a really warm light in my office, it’s just Ikea, kind of an oil lamp shape, but it’s got a really warm bulb. I also have smart bulbs in the sconces by the bed, and have them on a timer to go on before I get up.
My ideal would be Aesop soap, but I can’t afford it.
Anon
Aesop soap is $40. Yes, it’s a lot for soap but that’s probably not out of reach. It is delightful.
anon
New pillows
pbj
Towel Warming Rack
Cora
I LOVE this idea. Perfect for winter.
Eliza
We put a hardwired version in our main bathroom when we renovated and I’ll never be without one again. It is magic.
Anon
Fancy candles, pretty trays for displaying said candles or wrangling jewelry, etc, beautiful coffee table books, cocktail shaker & accessories set.
anon
I have a Glasshouse candle with the fragrance “Sunset in Capri” that I’m obsessed with. I’ve never spent that much on a candle ($59), but it’s been SO worth it.
I also love tea and the ritual of tea service. I have a lovely kettle, a small teapot in my favorite color, a good strainer, and a couple of mugs I love for sentimental reasons. I tend to buy a variety of teas in small quantities so I can choose based on my mood. I don’t always add milk or honey, but I do love a good local honey.
ALT
Fancy candles, hand soap that smells really good, coordinating throw pillows, a cozy chunky throw blanket, a tray for a coffee table or ottoman to corral remotes and things. Thick fluffy large bath towels, a thick bath mat or rug. Dimmable lightbulbs. A luxurious bathrobe and/or pajamas—I have a couple matching pajama and robe sets and I feel extremely glam in them, even if I’m eating takeout on the couch. Fun cocktail or wine glasses—even boxed wine feels special in a pretty glass. Pretty dishes. Lots of layered bed linens—a duvet and a quilt and a throw with coordinated Euro shams and regular pillow shams.
A cleaning service…my life feels a zillion times more luxurious when I don’t have to clean.
Anon
Great suggestions. I like multi-wick Anthropologie candles that aren’t a typical cylinder. Natori, Ugg, and Giraffe At Home have plush robes. In addition to pretty glassware, a nice martini shaker or personalized ice cube molds elevate the experience.
Anonymous
Wall-mounted towel warmer. Dries 3 towels in the space of one, and a warm towel in the morning after a shower is heaven, especially in the winter.
Anonymous
Throw blankets.
Antique doily and blown glass vase/bowl/etc for the kitchen table.
Anonymous
Small wooden tray with just enough space for my Wedgewood tea cup and saucer and small teapot.
Anon
I’m very main character in my life and this is more about how you live than the things. I light candles every night with dinner, use the good china, hang art I like, etc.
ALT
Ah yes this is a good point as well—you have to use the “good stuff” normally. I use my grandparents’ crystal glassware as my normal wine glasses and “fancy” (from Goodwill) china as my everyday dishes. Using fancy hand soap at the kitchen sink makes me feel like a Nancy Meyers character every day and really, I don’t go through it *that* quickly. YMMV if you have a partner/roommate/children.
Anonymous
Nice glass bottles with pumps for the liquid or foaming hand soap I keep next to the sink. They are inexpensive (2 for $20) and look SO much nicer than the plastic bottles that the soap originally came from.
As a bonus, since switching my kitchen dish soap to a pump, we use WAY less!
Anon
My little Bose Bluetooth speaker. It’s so much better than the crappy Bluetooth speaker I had before and it makes a big difference because I actually use it. It was just under $100 for Christmas last year but I see it listed got $119 this year (oops) but maybe there will be a Black Friday deal?
Lately I’ve been catching up on knitting (did anyone else do the Geogradient MKAL this year?) and it’s been nice to listen to music or an audiobook while I knit.
Anon
A beautiful teapot and loose leaf tea.
I’m allergic to scented candles so I can’t visit any friends that have them, perhaps something to be mindful of if you have any sensitive friends.
Anon
Yes, this! The candles are my nemesis. I love my thick furry floor throw by the fireplace where I can relax with the dog. A couple of dark wood stools nearby to put my drink on or put my feet on. A convenient light for the book.
anon
Lighting in general. Smart bulbs/outlets, small lamps. Being able to have cozy lighting in the evening and not use the harsh overhead lighting has been so good.
Bath towels/ hand towels all in matching colors (i have been happy with brooklinen).
Higher quality picture frames (i normally give jonathon adler, anthropologie as ideas for people to look at).
Or think about what you like to do/want to do at home.. If you love watching tv/movies.. do you want a new popcorn bowl, or special ice cream bowl. I have been building out a coffee/tea bar, so people have gifted me a nice matching set of coffee and espresso cups, espresso spoons, a basket for tea, etc.
If you like to entertain, would you want some cocktail napkins or a serving piece.
Anon
Bone inlay trays and planters.
Anonymous
Has anyone just said eff it and taken a crazy job overseas? For some context my boss is known to be difficult and because of that two very well respected jobs have reached out to me and asked if I’d be interested in doing my same job, but for them. Jobs are in London and Canberra neither are my favourite cities but certainly places I’d be happy for a few years.
Cb
Do it! What do you have to lose? You might like either city more when you’re living there versus visiting.
I left my terrible job to go back for a PhD, moving to Scotland in the process. 12 years later, I’m still here…
Do it!
Depending on where you are (we’re southern east coast based), I’d pick London over Australia. SIL did this and picked Australia and it’s been fun in the sense that it was at one point new and exiting, but that wore off fairly quickly. Also, Australia is just harder to travel around. She actually had a job offer in Edinburgh also and occasionally talks about how she wishes she’d picked Scotland so that she had more ability to travel and see things throughout Europe vs in Australia which is absolutely sprawling.
She’s by no means painfully homesick but it’s far easier for her to skip home from Europe than Australia. Between cost, time zones and sheer travel time, I think she’s disappointed by how infrequently she can actually make the trip home. She actually had to miss the funeral of a beloved grandparent not long ago, not to mention some other Big Family Events because travel was just astronomically priced (like $4500/flight). We, she included, all talked about how she could have swung at least some of if she was in Scotland vs half a world away and at a minimum 3 (+ 2 lengthy) flights from home (Adelaide > Sydney, Sydney > LA, LA > ATL, is the general route). Maybe if you’re west coast-based it’s less of an issue because you get to skip the cross-country US leg.
That all being said, it was the right choice to get away from her toxic ex, lackluster career path and the hard reset she was hoping for. I say do it! But whereas you have geographic options, be sure to consider the big picture of the choices.
Runcible Spoon
I would certainly consider the offers carefully. All things being equal/similar, I would recommend London over Canberra, because it is a more interesting location in and of itself, it is closer to the United States should (god forbid) anything drastic require an immediate return, and it is a much better travel hub to much closer fantastic destinations to visit. Enjoy!
Anon.
Agree.
emeralds
Yes. Do it.
Emma
Why not? Unless you have personal considerations keeping you where you are, I would do it in a second. And agree that all other things being equal, I would pick London over Canberra.
OP
I have a house, husband, and doggos I wouldn’t want to leave. DH can’t work anywhere except our current city due to having a specialized job so we’d have to do long distance and tbh I’m more of a lifestyle person than a career person so being alone is a big negative. Kids are not in the picture DH and I are both sterilized.
Anon
You couldn’t pay me enough to take a job away from my husband and dog. If you’re planning to divorce, go for it.
Anon.
Oh that changes things. In that case, NOT Australia, it’s too far away. Even in London, assuming you’re on the East Coast, it takes you at least 8-9 hours door-to-door.
I’m a bit confused, you don’t want to leave your husband who is static, yet you consider such drastic move?
Cb
Oh this totally changes my answer. I took a job a short plane ride away but I was only gone 30% of the time. I made it 2 years, and could have probably managed another 2 if something hadn’t come up closer to home.
OP
I really hate my current boss, so the job offers are an escape hatch I suppose. I’m also in a weird position where despite being a lifestyle person I’m also one of the world’s foremost experts in my field so I sort of have this weird sense of obligation to help (it’s environmental).
Anon
Can the London people work with you on a hybrid basis (1-2 weeks in England, 1-2 weeks remote)?
Anon
I mean start a consulting firm, go somewhere else locally, get a fully remote job, there are so many options that don’t involve blowing up your personal life (unless that’s your secret goal ).
Anon
This changes how I was going to answer completely. This is not the right move for you.
Single, pet and child free? London in a second.
Do it!
Oh wow. Ok – no, I would not leave my husband or dog for this. Not in a million years unless this was a soft launch divorce (in which case, just get the divorce..).
Senior Attorney
My second husband worked out of town probably more than half the time, so we were long distance for most of the marriage. It’s doable but certainly not optimal. (Note we got used to being apart and the marriage finally collapsed when he started working locally full time.) I would certainly not choose to leave my house, spouse, and pets even for an exciting foreign job/
Emma
Oh yeah I personally would not move without my husband (or dog!). Up to you, but that just wouldn’t be an option for me. We actually talked about relocating to the UK and ruled it out because he can’t work there for licensing reasons.
NYCer
With these additional facts, this would be a hard pass for me. Like not even a consideration. Look for a new job in your current city where your husband is.
Anon
I did a long distance commute for 4 years and it was workable (SFO to EWR weekly) but a hard time for us personally. It mad a HUGE difference in my long-term compensation and changed the trajectory of my career and life, so in hindsight it was worth it, but it was really a tough stretch. But I came home faithfully every single weekend without exception. I don’t know how you’d make it work if you could’t be together regularly.
However, I am sure I suffer from my own bias on this. I read an anecdote once that everyone thinks their personal work commute is the longest they could possibly handle – everyone who has a shorter commute has it easy, and everyone who has a longer commute is nuts. So I’m sure many people thought I was nuts for doing what I did because it was longer than their commute, and by the same token because my cross-country commute was the absolute limit of what I could do, I think an international commute would be impossible. But while I do know other people who did what I did, I don’t know anyone who “commuted” overseas regularly. Everyone I know who did this either broke up or moved the whole family.
Cerulean
Get a new job, don’t blow up your life. When I had an absolutely terrible job, I considered some impulsive career moves that seem absolutely crazy in retrospect.
Anonymous
It’s insane to me that you didn’t share this initially. Do you hate your husband? Idk why you’d even contemplate flouncing off to Canberra for no good reason leaving your spouse behind.
Anon
This is overly rude and a mischaracterization of what she said in her original post. No one is “flouncing” anywhere; get ahold of yourself
Anon
I do think that she should have shared the husband and dogs part; however, she’s in a niche field and it sounds like these are good opportunities.
Life is tough when your spouse is tied to a very specific geographic area.
Anon
I guess I’m in the minority but I would go to Australia! Being in the eastern part of the US, Europe is just a quick hop and we go there on vacation for a week at a time on a regular basis. Australia is so much farther and more expensive that it feels like it’s not worth going to unless you can be there for several weeks, plus it would be a chance to explore an area of the world I’m unfamiliar with, so I would jump at the chance to relocate there for a bit. My husband actually had a job opportunity in Melbourne and I was so excited but it fell through.
Anonymous
Don’t randomly change jobs in an eff it moment because you hate your boss. Change jobs because you are going toward something that you absolutely want or is helping you get to something you absolutely want. Take a vacation, get therapy, or do whatever you need to do to not blow up your life over a point-in-time work frustration and move on to the next thing with a deliberate move. Five years from now, I guarantee this boss will just be a blip in memories. I think it’s important to keep that perspective in mind when you’re making a big decision.
Anon
Hello from Canberra! It would be a great place to live if you love being out in nature. I live 25 minutes drive from the CBD and regularly see possums, echidnas, kangaroos, blue tongue lizards, bats and a dozen different bird species in my garden – colourful parrots, huge cheeky cockatoos and magpies who bring their babies to introduce them.
Is it for CSIRO or ANU? If it’s at ANU then it could be the vacancy from my friend’s husband moving back to the Netherlands.
Yes, I did this. I was going to be forced to do procurement processes so I quit and took a job in the Northern Territory. Loved it! Definitely out of my comfort zone.
OP
I am more of a rural hike on weekends but live within walking distance to everything Monday-Friday type person. I would not want a commute that necessitated driving. Job isn’t at either of those places, however I know the person who previously held the role that’s being offered to me so I know what I’d be getting into.
Anon
Australia has a housing crisis, strong bio security laws so it’s expensive and difficult to bring pets and it’s racist.
Canberra is a tiny city, everyone knows everyone. It’s a weird low density planned city, in the bush and is at risk during bushfires.
Seventh Sister
Everything I know about Canberra is from that TV show Secret City, so I am intrigued and not just for Anna Torv-related reasons (joke). It looks pretty neat tbh.
Anon
Seventh Sister, that’s interesting to hear! Good show. I know the writers as they are political journalists and I was a ministerial media adviser. Did you know Anna Torv is Rupert Murdoch’s niece?
Anon
I’ll share the same career advice my former (amazing) boss shared with me when I was considering a role on her team, which I ultimately took. Don’t make decisions based on running away from something – make decisions based on running TO an opportunity you want.
Anon
That is such a good point, and one I’ve learned the hard way.
Anon
Ehh I took my current job running away and it was the best move I ever made. Overall a good point though.
Anon
Another top for the poster from the other day who loves this color!
Anon
That’s ME!!
kag
This is going to be my first Christmas in the US. Where do I get a real tree in the DC area? Can I do a garland on top of the kitchen island? Are they also real?
PolyD
I haven’t bought a real tree in a while, but I think you can get them at Home Depot. They should have real pine garland, too. Fake garland also exists.
Otherwise sometimes Boy Scouts or schools set up Christmas tree lots, but I don’t know how you find those except for passing by one.
Anon
I’ve also purchased a real Christmas tree at Whole Foods in Atlanta before.
Mpls
Go with fake garland inside. The real stuff will dry out and shed needles and won’t last until Christmas. Make sure you have water the indoor tree as well, or its going to start shedding needles everywhere as well.
Anon
Costco, Lowes, Home Depot.
annon
Agree with other suggestions. Also, you’ll find some pop-up shops if you just keep your eyes open. They show up in parking lots of churchs and other places in residential areas in my nearby city.
Anne-on
We have cats who attack the christmas decor like it’s their job so we use a fake tree/garland. Balsam Hill and Terrain make the nicest faux trees/garland imho.
Anon
Many grocery stores sell Christmas trees, plus there are pop ups as mentioned above. I once had a tree delivered to my apartment (I didn’t have a car so would have been hard to get one home!). I don’t remember the service though.
You can do a garland wherever you want, there’s no such thing as too much garland :) Caveat to this – keep garland and trees away from heating elements (like your stove!). I usually use a mix of real and fake garland, but you could do whatever you want!
kag
Good point, we don’t have a car, but we could rent one.
Anon
You can order Christmas trees online, which might net out to about the same price if you would have to rent a car to buy one.
Runcible Spoon
In addition to the big box hardwares stores already mentioned, you can get a Christmas tree from Merrifield Garden Center, if you are on the Virginia side of the DC area. Or pick one up from a pop-up in a random bank parking lot.
Anon
Go to a Christmas tree farm! Much more special than Home Depot.
Anon
I’m lovingly laughing at this suggestion <3 The DC climate is too warm for firs to grow and real estate anywhere within a two hour radius is much too expensive to have a farm for something as quixotic as Christmas trees. The nearest tree farm I know of is in PA about 3 hours away.
Anon
Haha ok fair enough. I’m in the Midwest. I forgot they don’t grow in warmer weather.
Anonymous
And I am laughing at how confidently you provided an objectively incorrect response to this question. There are multiple tree farms growing firs in Maryland, they just aren’t in Bethesda or Potomac or Chevy Chase, and probably a few outside NoVa, too. Cute that you only know a little bit about the place you live and just make assumptions about the parts you’re unfamiliar with, ssuming the HCOL part you live in stretches for a two-hour radius.
Anonymous
Yeah I think Butler’s will let you cut your own tree too, they’re a fairly short drive from DC.
Anon
In fairness to Anon at 10:36, a two-hour drive may well mean anything outside Chevy Chase/Alexandria when factoring in traffic.
Anon
Eh, really? I’m in California and we have a ton of them.
Anon
This is not true. I grew up in NoVA and we cut our own tree every year.
A few I found by Googling:
Millltown Creek in Lovettsville, VA
Middleburg Tree Farm in Round Hill, VA
Moose Apple in Berryville, VA
Just call to confirm their selection if it matters to you.
Anon
Can vouch for both Milltown Creek and Middleburg Tree Farm for NoVA folks who are further west/are down for a drive. I have an artificial tree now due to partner allergies, but have gotten good trees at both.
Anon
I live is a DC outer suburb and have cut down trees with my kids at tree farms every year since 1995, there are definitely farms that are drivable from DC in multiple directions.
Anon
Dude, I’m in the Bay Area and there are real Christmas tree farms here, out by Half Moon Bay.
Anon
Where are you in the DC area? We’ve moved away, but here are two good recs in Alexandria:
If you’re in the Shirlington area, a shout-out to my former church, St. Clement Episcopal on Quaker Lane, that gets trees trucked in direct from North Carolina on Thanksgiving weekend. You can call the church office for info about when they’re arriving this year (it’s historically been Black Friday, but sometimes Saturday). The price is $11/ft? $12/ft? It’s a small congregation, so the money goes directly to things like fixing a leaky roof and paying the minister. Customers always raved about how fresh the trees were.
In Belle Haven/Fort Hunt, the Safeway at 1624 Belle View Blvd has a HUGE stand from a Rotary Club? Lions Club? in the parking lot. Very fresh trees there, too. I think the prices are the same as the church.
Home Depot/Lowe’s/grocery store trees were often cut weeks ago and they can be drying out by the time they get to you, but they are quite affordable if finances are a concern.
kag
Thanks a lot. NoMa
M in DC
We’re nearby and have gotten trees a few different places over the years: Brent Elementary on Capitol Hill sells trees as a fundraiser and they will deliver them as well. There’s also a scout troop that sells trees on East Capitol on weekends. We’ve bought at Union Market before too, but I remember that being even more expensive than the other options, albeit convenient if you want to carry your tree home!
DC
As others have said, there are lots of place to get real trees in DC. If you are in the Dupont area, support our local elementary school and buy one from Ross (1730 R St NW). The sale is Nov 24-26 & Dec 2-3.
Anonymous
I’m in New York but we always buy them from the local volunteer fire department. Is this something that’s regional? They’re always so nice and let the kids check out their trucks. i felt bad the year we missed it and had to go to Home Depot.
Anon
Any recommendations for a digital photo frame? I’m planning to get one for my mom so that she can see more pictures of her grandkids, and figure I should shop the Black Friday sales. The frame will need to have a way for photos to be added remotely, and should hopefully be very easy to operate for my mom.
editrix
We gave my mom an Aura frame and she loves it. I think her library is up to something like 600 photos, so every time she glances at it there’s something different.
Anon
+1
love how you can add photos easily remotely, so all family members get involved sending pix updates of their lives.
OOO
We gave my mom a Skylight frame and she loves it. Considering getting it for my MIL this year
anon
We also love Skylight. You can email photos directly to the frame or upload them using an app.
Anon
We gave both sets of grandparents the Aura and they love it. Very, very easy to upload photos via the app.
January
Also recommend the Aura. It’s very easy to add photos remotely. We got it for my in-laws first, and the rest of the family followed suit. We can all share photos via the app.
Gail the Goldfish
I have an Aura and have gifted one to my parents and we both love them (I’m considering getting a second one for myself). I did the initial set up for my parents, but after that, they were easily able to figure out adding pictures.
Anonie
Yep, Aura works great!
Anonymous
They carry the Aura frame at Costco!
Anonymous
Best candle that smells like Christmas trees? And/or best holiday candle generally? I’m not normally a candle person but we switched to a fake tree and I miss the smell of the real tree.
Anon
For a Thanksgiving candle, I like Thymes Pumpkin Laurel.
For Christmas, Root Winter Balsam is a good one for a tree scent.
I personally like a bayberry candle because my mother had a special one that she burned for a little while every Christmas when I was a child – when I found a Yankee Candle that smelled like it a few years ago I quite literally bought a case. It’s discontinued now (why do they discontinue all the fragrances I like and keep the weird ones??), so I stalk ebay for it!
Clementine
Target Balsam Fir slaps as the kids would say. We currently have their warm apple cider going.
Alternately Yankee Candle has Christmas Wreath which is a little warmer scented (a little citrus and sweetness) and balsam and cedar which is a little cooler scented. All are great.
Senior Attorney
Somebody gave me a pine-scented Diptyque candle last year and it was divine.
Anon
Sapin. So spendy, so beautiful. Did you save the vessel? I love the design.
For anyone else reading, you freeze the candle when the wax is 1/4″ or less in the bottom. Poke it with a butter knife and it will fall out. There’s a big trade in Diptyque empties, but I’m using my Sapin empty for makeup brushes.
Also the holiday candles sometimes come with a lid, which the regular candles don’t.
Sali Hughes just did an instagram post on how to make your expensive candles last, which is definitely worth the 1 minute investment of time.
Signed, your resident crazy candle lady. Sorry to highjack your post, SA.
Senior Attorney
Haha no worries! I actually only burned it halfway last year and am saving it for this year, so thanks for the tips!! And yes, it has a lid! Yay!
anon
I swear by BBW’s Fresh Balsam. I buy a new one every year.
If you want to splurge, Thymes Frasier Fir Pine Needle is also heavenly.
Emma
+1 for Thymes Frasier Fir, it’s my go to every year. The white one is better than the green one IMO.
anon
Yes, definitely the white one!
Anonymous
+2 for the Thymes Frasier Fir Pine Needle. I love it.
Anon
I love, love, love the Thymes Frasier Pine but have found that the $3 (now $4 maybe) Trader Joe’s Cedar Balsam is an excellent duplicate. I may have bought three of them at my local TJs last night. Sorry not sorry!
Anonymous
Thymes Fraser Fir candle is the best.
Formerly Lilly
Somewhat non responsive answer: Juniper Ridge “Christmas Fir” incense sticks. Their incense is just the best. “Piñon” is my favorite but it doesn’t give Christmas vibes.
Anon
Beauty Pie Fir Balsam, Sandalwood & Sweet Orange is the best budget pick. I bought 4 for this year. (it requires a membership but you can do a free trial)
Diptyque Sapin is the best ever but $$$$$
Anon
Another suggestion is a fireplace/smoke scented candle. They combine beautifully with the pine scented candles too.
The classic is Diptyque Feu de Bois, but Keap Candles makes a Wood Cabin that is a good substitute.
anon
I love the Keep candle Wood Cabin. I buy one every winter.
Anon
I’m, uh, about to receive my third and fourth… for this year.
Eliza
I have to smile. The Diptyque candle is good enough that I once lit a mini version, and hours later DH got home and thought the house was on fire.
Anon
Haha I love that.
Anon
Le Labo is too rich for my blood but I think their smoke candle Encens is even better than Diptyque’s
King Arthur Sale?
Does anyone happen to know if King Arthur Baking typically has a Black Friday sale? Thanks!
Anon
They’ve had 15% off a few weekends recently. They might get up to 20% on Black Friday, but I don’t think they ever do much more than that and there’s always a $50 or $60 minimum.
King Arthur Sale?
Thanks!
Anon 2.0
Are you looking at flour (or other food) or physical items?
King Arthur Sale?
I’m looking at GF baking mixes for a Hanukah gift.
VVex
Very nice gift! I have celiac, and King Arthur mixes and 1-for-1 multipurpose flour are excellent.
Anon 2.0
Check out VitaCost. They sometimes have a large variety, including the King Arthur brand, for better prices. They’re Bob’s Red Mill prices cannot be beat.
Anon
If anyone follow’s the subreddit for the R29 Money Diaries, there’s a discussion right now about perks and benefits. It’s like a 180 from yesterday’s discussion here!
Alice
From the PTO conversation here?
Anon
Yes, the PTO discussion
Anon
Link?
Anon
This is not hard to find honestly. Go to reddit and to the Refinery29 Money Diaries subreddit.
Anon
https://www.reddit.com/r/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/17uli4m/does_your_work_offer_any_extra_benefits_and_do/
Anon
Oh my goodness…
NYNY
Paging the poster with patellofemoral pain from last night. I had a patellofemoral knee replacement in 2019 because the cartilage under my kneecap was almost completely worn away, and bone on bone in some spots. I was a dancer in my youth, and started having knee issues as a teenager, so it wasn’t a huge surprise. You may be able to delay or avoid surgery with PT, but I would suggest developing a relationship with an orthopedic surgeon who specializes in knees, is willing to treat it conservatively, and who has performed PF replacements, which are uncommon relative to other knee replacement options. If you’re in NY, I can share some options.
Corporate robot
Does anyone else ever feel really bitter working in corporate America? I think for me it’s a combination of constantly being pinged to do stuff I think is pointless and feeling annoyed by that, but also feeling like a cog in the big “shareholder value” wheel and getting very little in return. I don’t want to start a political debate with this comment, but some days I just feel so disheartened. I work hard and am successful in my job, but to what end? And how do I get through another twenty years of this?
Anon
Are you wired to work for a nonprofit? Or for a less corporatey corporation? I’ve worked twice for generic corporations and lasted only 15 months at each. I can’t do it. I have to be working for some higher purpose. I’m a tax lawyer – so I’m not out saving whales or anything – but I can work at an organization that’s advancing tax policies to equalize the tax code or that’s helping individuals with tax debt, etc, etc.
Anon
Yes. I had worked in government for ~6 years, left for 2 years in corporate America and absolutely hated it, and now I’ll be going back to government in January. I am thrilled.
I couldn’t get past the lack of mission, the manufactured urgency / work I viewed as pointless, and the fact that I basically worked to make our CEO richer. CEO is a billionaire, and I had coworkers at my level (analyst to lower level manager) struggling with expenses while knowing lots of people even lower than us on the totem pole were unable to afford basics. Earnings calls were so foreign to me; I truly don’t understand the concept of constant growth (surely the market for our product becomes saturated eventually?). The company makes record profits, wastes so much money on nonsense and then gives 2% raises during high inflation years? Also, in line with yesterday’s conversation, the company gives 1 combined leave bank of 18 days, which is not nearly enough! All of the cool “perks” I had heard about the private sector didn’t exist at this company.
I’m somehow making considerably more money going back to government, getting more time off and overall better benefits, and incredible stability. I still won’t have all of the very high salaries or very cool perks some of my friends in other fields have, but I still cannot wait!
Anon
I’m the poster above you and I completely agree with every word you wrote in the middle paragraph!
Anon
I spent 2 years working for a for-profit company after spending most of my career in nonprofits and government, and everything in your second paragraph is spot-on. I am back working for the government now and I will stay in government until I retire. The “lack of mission (other than making money)” thing really got to me, along with the fact that there weren’t many people over 50 in the company I worked for, and it was kind of clear that older employees were seen as less flexible, less trainable, and ultimately less valuable than younger ones (even if those younger employees had no idea what they were doing). I won’t have nearly the same problems with age discrimination working for the government; I think over half of my coworkers are over 45.
Anon
Not trying to start a war here, just making an observation:
In the days in which a CEO of a household name company would make $10M a year, okay, maybe that’s justifiable. Adding value, strategic vision, blah blah blah. CEO of Walmart earns $20M a year; CEO of GE earns $8M. Imagine dividing every cent of their compensation amongst their employees, such that the CEO doesn’t even make minimum wage. Everyone would get an extra $20 a year.
Now when these people make $100M to $500M a year? That money is coming from somewhere, and that “somewhere” is squeezing all of your non-exec employees. Slightly understaff so everyone works too hard, give lousy PTO to hide it; don’t give raises with inflation; don’t give bonuses to rock stars; stagnate wages so that your newcomers have the same nominal dollar value wage as they did in 2014; hire loads of temporary workers.
Anon
One time my company announced it purchased a $8 million residence for our CEO in another city (that we technically have business in, but honestly the CEO rarely travels to) the same week it announced it was laying off ~200 people. It was a big company, so in the grand scheme of things 200 people isn’t a ton of employees, but obviously to those employees it’s a BFD.
Anon
@ 11:53 I can be a bit of a corporate apologist, but ohhh eff those people.
Anon
Oh man this was my life in a manufacturing facility. Oh – add in disciplinary action for minute infractions, particularly around actually using some of that lousy PTO bank.
Anon
It also comes from squeezing the customers. I have to print my own tickets, print my own labels, print my own bank statements, load my own suitcases onto the belt, find my own answers on the company’s website (if they are posted) because the company does not employ anyone to pick up the phone and answer a question directly. I fully expect that my insurance company will one day require me to perform my own medical procedures on myself. And the product side is no better than the services side. I have a Whirlpool washer and dryer from 1994 and they are workhorses. Anything I will buy when they eventually cannot keep going will be trash in comparison, but magically many times more expensive (even after adjusting for inflation). Cars, printers, shoes — it’s all the same. Companies no longer exist to provide excellent products/services that people want to buy because they are high quality and last; they exist solely to serve shareholders.
Anon
Yes
Anon
Come to government / nonprofits / NGOs! I make more than I did working for a highly regarded / “best place to work” F50 company, I get a pension, I get more PTO than I did before, and while I’m not front lines helping people, I feel like I’m a cog in a machine helping people rather than a cog in a machine helping investors get rich. I also work 40 hours a week – on the rare occasions I work more I get OT / comp time and I can flex my time.
Anon
Yes. It’s not the most mature solution, but my response was quiet quitting. I still have the same terrible salary and boring job, but I work much less which has made my life a lot better.
Anon
We live in a culture that pushes us to value people based on their role in a market economy. We’re encouraged to love our work and be passionate about our jobs and hustle and all that. To me, it’s a vast scam. Most of us are part of vast corporate machines and there’s no reason why we need to love or be passionate about those roles. My value in the world isn’t what I do at work. I was a lot happier once I let go of the idea of finding my purpose at my job.
I am very senior in an in-house legal team, btw. So am evidence you can be successful and still limit how much you invest emotionally in your job
Anne-on
This. I value my job because it allows me to use my critical thinking/writing skills, I work with interesting people, and I get paid well with excellent benefits. It’s allowing me to save for retirement at an accelerated rate, afford my housing/living expenses, and maintain a good work/life balance. It is also ridiculously cushy compared to my family working hourly jobs or those who are in teaching/nursing/farming/or the armed forces.
Even on a bad day I’m not coming home injured, threatened by students/patients, or subject to the whims of a weekly schedule that might not afford me enough hours to pay my bills. I’ve been steadily promoted since I started working but I can’t say I’ve ever ‘loved’ my job or expected it to define me in any way. I expect my fulfillment to come from family/community/faith/friends – work is work, not the meaning of life.
Anon
+100
I also am senior in-house and my solution to this has been, well, to not care? I care in the sense that I do good work, but I absolutely do not ask how high when someone says jump, I never work more than 45 hours a week unless I am on travel, don’t check anything work related on nights and weekends, and actively participate in the things I actually care about (ERGs, pro bono, mentoring, advocating for the less senior employee population). My boss loves me, my GC repeatedly tells me I’m great, my business clients enjoy working with me, so clearly this has not affected my ability t get promoted or be well thought of. I know I am a cog in a wheel and that my job doesn’t really “matter” (in the sense you all are talking about to people who value this) and I just DGAF. I make a lot of money, don’t work super hard, and have a really robust life. It’s been great for me since I stopped taking everything personally and feeling like my job defined me or how I became a “good” person. It’s just a job.
Anon
I’m a poster above who went government to corporate and back to government. In my experience in the corporate world, only working 40-45 hours a week / not looking at email after hours / not asking how high when told to jump was NOT an option. People who didn’t do that were never given raises (let alone promotions) at best and were let go at worst.
I made the move to the corporate world really hoping to have a cushy job working normal hours, making more money, and having a nice balance and ideally some perks, but none of that panned out. I was really disappointed in myself in the company to have “sold out” and not really gotten much in return. I’m now back in a government “helping” job and I mostly love that my job provides good flexibility and good pay, but I also do love that I get to work to help those who need it.
I found when working in corporate America, it was so hard to make myself care when working on an annoying ask / hard project / something that came in after hours because I could only focus on how in the grand scheme, this report didn’t matter.
Anon
You lived a different experience than I did, but I will say that I have been doing this for 10+ years with continuing success. I do NOT announce I am doing any of this. I just do it. Literally not one has ever commented on it in a negative way.
anon
I’m the original commenter, and we sound REALLY similar. I spend a ton of time on the same activities you describe, and I really enjoy that. Also – I manage 35-40 people, and I am express with them that I do not expect this job to be as important to them as their lives outside of work – regardless of whether that life is a partner, kids, pets, parental caretaking, hobbies, etc. I routinely have people tell me this is the best job they’ve ever had, and I hope that part of that is because they know that I don’t expect them to pretend they feel a deep passion for financial services law.
Anon
You sound like a fantastic manager.
Corporate Robot
What does that look like though? I wouldn’t consider myself emotionally invested and I certainly don’t derive any fulfillment from it, but I still spend 40 hours a week on work and find it difficult to not get frustrated by a lot of what’s been discussed here.
Anon
Anon at 11:41 for me it just took time, practice, and meditation honestly. Do I get frustrated sometimes? Sure, yes. Even my favorite jobs have been frustrating at times. But it passes very quickly bc I remind myself it doesn’t matter and has nothing to do with me personally. All corporations are the same really. Some are of course worse, but it’s same $hit everywhere IME. Let the $hit roll off your back.
Carla
I totally get this, but at the same time I had hard time spending 8+ hours a day and so much brain power on something I didn’t like. I think its also fair to see work as a decent chunk of your day and want it to be something you align with.
NW Islander
Yes. I have worked in tech for over a decade and I fantasize about going to nursing school or something. I regret that I do not have any “helping” skills. For all the people saying “just go into government” or similar – those jobs seem incredibly difficult to secure and I say that as someone with a pretty impressive resume. I haven’t gotten a headhunter call in many years, and feel like this is all I can do until I retire.
Cora
If you work in tech you can absolutely get a pretty good government or nonprofit jobs. For nonprofit jobs look at all hands job board
Anon
Would you consider Code For America?
Anon
All of my friends in nursing have major frustrations and are burned out FWIW. So helping professions are not the immediate answer to everyone’s problems.
Anonie
+1. I had a friend who left the corporate world to go to nursing school, put her family and herself through a VERY difficult several years balancing that with childcare, only to ultimately work as a nurse for a very short time before pivoting back to a corporate job. Grass is greener etc
Anon DC
If you’re interested in government – you should check out TTS – run out of GSA in the federal space. Not sure re: remote positions, but GSA is traditionally very remote friendly (they have centralized IT functions which makes it easier). They host “Tech to Fed” career fairs. They usually use direct hire authority so you don’t go through USAJobs in the traditional manner.
Anon
I am counsel at a public research university, and I feel the same way (but without the shareholders).
Anon
Yes and no.
I grew up poor, and some of that was because my dad could not bear to answer to anyone else, so he started a string of small businesses that all failed. He had brilliant ideas but poor execution and no follow-through. (The other major element was just generational poverty – being native on my mom’s side, being dirt poor southern white trash on my dad’s.)
So for me, the idea that someone would pay me a comfortable living wage plus benefits (we never went to the doctor because we couldn’t afford it) plus help pay for my retirement was a complete luxury to me. I luxuriated in it for decades being grateful and willing to work my ass off so that my kids could live a better life. And they have!
But yes, there was a ton of BS and even with my ass-busting hard work and being super smart (I inherited that, it’s not really a brag IMO), I hit the glass ceiling one rung below C suite. The signals were as clear as they could be – this was the limit for me. It’s extremely frustrating, but I realize I’ve come such a long way from my childhood that I still have to remember to be grateful.
I’m in my late 50s and working for myself now. I never wanted to do this because of my dad, but it’s great actually. It’s not stress-free, but I’m used to that, and I’m a hard worker. My clients seem to love me and it’s mutual. I feel gratitude that my hard work led me to a place where I know people and I know my stuff well enough to “sell” that to others. This feels like the reward at the end of a long, long slog. Hang in there!
Anon
Anyone following the Dan Markel case? Big moves last night with Donna’s arrest. Girlfriend was trying to flee to Vietnam.
Runcible Spoon
Never heard of this case, but I have now! FYI, an online article indicates no extradition treaty with Vietnam, so a clever move by mother-in-law Donna, but not by half — Vietnam could very easily deport a fugitive U.S. citizen back to the United States, which is a much less complex return process than extradition. These U.S. citizen fugitives who flee to “non-extradition” countries often fail to consider the option of a simple removal by deportation back to the United States.
Anon
Oh wow. Those poor kids.
Anon
Wow. Do Dan’s parents still have no contact with their grandkids? Even if Wendi wasn’t aware of what was happening (I’m skeptical), it seems really unfair that after her mother and brother murdered her ex she winds up with 100% custody and is able to block the other grandparents from seeing them. Ugh.
Anon
Agree, poor Phil and Ruth. Apparently, the last time they saw the boys was right before Charlie’s grand jury. According to the Florida law they helped pass, their hands are tied unless Wendi gets arrested…which I’m hopeful will happen right alongside Donna.
Anon
I don’t know this news story at all, so at this point I’m reminded of a conversation with my late mom trying to gossip with me about people in her friend circle I’ve never met. Wendi did what? What about poor Phil and Ruth? Oh that Dan, he should have known better. (Still have no idea what’s going on)
Miss you, Mom!
twentytwo
Cute, but Dan was murdered in his driveway in cold blood by a hired gunman hired by his ex-wife’s family.
Anon
No way!!! What a great update. Getting closer to charging Wendi too, I hope.
If anyone is interested in this case, the podcast Over My Dead Body did an excellent season about it.
MR
Yup, great podcast!
Anon
Waving at you from Tallahassee!
I’m wondering if Dad was free to go or what. Everyone here is noting the irony of someone who wanted her family down in south FL so badly she’d kill for it now being brought up here whether she likes it or not.
Anon
I can’t imagine the buzz that has been surrounding your city the past couple weeks. It seems like Harvey has not been charged, but will drown in his wife’s lawyer fees. He was definitely in on it, but he wasn’t in on all of the emails and the calls like Donna was.
Anon
Bush v Gore set the bar high for what amounts to a media event in Tallahassee :-)
I don’t really get the buzz around this – it’s pretty clear what went down and was only a matter of time. I guess true crime podcasts make it all seem much more interesting than it is.
Anon
i wasnt but now i am. how do seemingly normal people just end up hiring someone to kill someone else
Anonymous
I think they’d already brushed up against violence in the process of seeking a get (Jewish divorce document) by force, right? So perhaps the mind wanders from there.
Anon
Wait what was the violence involving the get? I didn’t hear about that.
Anonymous
Sorry. Upon further review, I think my memory of the case was muddled.
Calling ESG rettes
I’m interested in the G in ESG and wondering what the opportunities for someone with my background (public policy/international NGOs focusing on good governnace work) might be, and what skills or experiences I should be looking to build?
Relatedly, I’m interested in institutional investors, including international institutions like the world bank or IMF, but that’s more because I am less familiar with private investors. How could I learn more about what’s out there? Are there standards I could familiarize myself with? Agencies or organizations to know? Publications to follow?
TIA!
Anon
The G in governance usually means corporate governance, which usually means corporate/securities lawyers are the folks who get those jobs.
Public policy is more like what you’re looking for, I think….
Anon
World Bank and IMF are not institutional investors. WB is a development bank — think lending governments money for development related projects (hydro damn, green energy, education, etc.). IMF is the global lender of last resort (among other functions, none of which are institutional investing). Maybe you’re thinking of the IFC, which is part of the WB Group and lends specifically to the private sector? But as the previous commenter said, none of this is really the G in ESG.
Shanananana
I work on a team of 20 that is spread out across the US, with about 30% of us being permanently remote workers, and the rest various hybrid configurations. My boss would like to do something to get us all together for the holidays virtually, and is looking for ideas for something we could “do” during this little virtual party. I feel like everyone on here suffered through zoom party burnout, but am hoping maybe some of you have memories of things you did you didn’t hate? Overall, this is a pretty up for whatever social group, primarily but not solely women. The only idea I had was a cocktail class I had taken over zoom, but I have non drinkers and also people who will be at work during said party (as we are planning this for an afternoon so it doesn’t cut into people’s non work time, but also have 4 timezones to work around).
Help? Or are any ideas terrible? I lean towards a let me tell you why you are great now show me your baby/pet session, but I am also notoriously the bah humbug of organized activities lol.
KS IT Chick
My team has done a craft class that one of the team members taught. She has a side business of doing classes like that. She made us all swear we wouldn’t try to make Art but we would have fun. It actually turned out pretty good, given that I’m the least crafty person on earth.
Anon
We did a cooking class with a cookbook author – unusual ingredients and the cookbook were mailed to us beforehand.
Anon
I would roll my eyes about any forced virtual gathering in 2023, tbh. And I’m more Covid cautious than most.
But for my SIL’s virtual wedding shower in 2020 we did cookie decorating together on Zoom. It wasn’t cheap, since I had to have each guest mailed a box of cookies + decorating supplies, but people seemed to really enjoy it.
Anonymous
If most people are remote and spread out, a virtual gathering seems the easiest option. Seems more of a logistical choice than a covid-inspired one.
Anon
Oh I know it’s not because of Covid. I just meant that after almost 4 years of pandemic and associated move to remote/hybrid work, I don’t want to participate in virtual forced fun. It was cute and new in 2020, it’s tired now.
nope
I very truly, sincerely do not want to participate in any kind of zoom party. Also, are you proposing this happen in the evening after normal hours? Sounds like that would have to be the case with the timezones. The hardest of hard passes.
anon
Same. I get that you’re all in different places but I suffered through enough of these in 2020 and do not have any desire to do it again.
Anon
Same, a virtual gathering brings me negative joy. Tell people they can take off an hour early that day, it’s the greatest gift of all. Maybe send them a gift card or let them expense $X on a holiday treat of their choosing.
Cat
1. this should be during work hours for sure, as noted
2. the most fun I had was a virtual casino – there were prizes for who had the most pretend cash at the end
Anon
One fun activity I’ve done with distributed teams is having people do a lunch delivery secret Santa. Have everyone pick names and then do research on your person’s favorite lunch food. Give everyone DoorDash or UberEats gift cards and have them order food for each other to arrive at the time of the virtual gathering. It was surprisingly fun, everyone got to know each other a bit better, and people were genuinely excited about their lunches.
anon
I manage a team of 35 with a wide distribution of time zones (from US Mountain Time to Central European Time). What I do for a “holiday” party:
– Team leaders send me professional and personal highlights for their team from the year. I collect photos for some of the personal ones (from people’s new babies to people crossing the finish line of marathons to, on one memorable occasion, someone’s really amazing refinished antique furniture project).
– We do a holiday icebreaker activity. The activity is optional but low barrier to entry (last year it was asking people to bring and share via Teams their favorite festive holiday attire – we have a really wide range of cultures on the calls, so got everything from beautiful Diwali outfits to Star Wars themed ugly holiday sweaters).
– I go through the powerpoint. Team leaders present on their accomplishments.
– I make brief closing remarks thanking everyone for their hard work.
It’s an hour max, people seem to like it, and it feels natural and not like forced fun.
Anonymous
DH and I need a new comforter. What would you buy?
Suburban mom about to hit 40, neutral bedroom with chestnut colored furniture. King sized 4 poster bed.
Anon
I’d go stroll through a good HomeGoods and grab whatever caught my eye – not an exciting answer, I know.
Anonymous
OP here- I did that and was uninspired.
Anonymous
I was in your situation last year and bought the Elite Down Comforter from Lands End. We bought it in white and put a cover on it. It’s warm and it doesn’t leak feathers badly. It’s been used through winter 2023, was in one of those vacuum bags over the summer and has been back on the bed for about 6 weeks.
Anon
Four seasons duvet and pillows. Make your house a hotel. I did and it’s the best thing ever.
Anon
What set did you buy?
I’m all in with you on this….
Anonymous
I would go to my favorite department store and buy the red one, lol. But red is my favorite color and I always look for reasons to add more of it to my life.
Seriously, though, go to your favorite department store and buy the one you like the best.
anon
Macys or Kohls. I have a really cozy one from Ugg I found at Kohls on sale.
Anon
I would get a huge fluffy down comforter with a cotton shell. Mine has a microfiber shell and while I like it tremendously, I do wish I had opted for cotton.
Anon
Company store down insert. Comforter cover, sheets, pillows etc in different textures but all shades of the same color. I’ve done a creamy white, currently have different textures and shades of sage green since we painted the walls a green color.
anon
Ikea duvet + duvet cover that gets washed more frequently than the whole duvet.
Anon
How do I password protect a PDF without having Adobe downloaded on my computer? I need to send a password protected PDF, but I don’t have the permissions to download Adobe…
Anon
You could compress it into a zip file and password the zip file.
ollie
Save to a zip file and password protect the zip file?
Notinstafamous
One option is to upload it to Google drive and use their password feature when you share the link (doesn’t work for confidential/ privileged info). Or you can save it to a USB, password protect the USB & then physically deliver that.
OP
Thanks! Unfortunately, it can only be a password protected PDF (onboarding docs ftr a government job, not very flexible). I will just send an unencrypted file to someone who has adobe and ask them to encrypt for me.
Anon.
Just in case you’re saving this from Word, you should have an option to pick “Save as PDF” and then “Options” within the “Save As” menu where you can specify to encrypt or add password protection. Those features areoften a bit hidden, but worth paying attention to what options are available.
OP
Thanks! The doc was already a PDF, but this feature is great to know about for the future; I had no idea I could convert to PDF and password protect all at once!
Anon.
That might be an obvious question, but if you can open the pdf in whatever pdf viewer you have installed, could you save the file under a new name? Maybe your program has options to add a password, too?
Anon
Searching for a muted orange or taupe pattern percale sheets in a set that I can buy extra pillow cases if needed!
Anon
Company Store has some sedate stripes in a “gold” (tan) color – looks really nice and the quality is always good.
Anonymous
William Morris ones? Sunflower or Caybes
anon
What kind of person do you go see to repair holes in cashmere?
Anonymous
I take mine to my dry cleaner and they send it out. My cleaners work with great repair people.
Anon
My dry cleaner had someone who rewove some holes for me. He did not do it himself but had People.
anon
My dry cleaner also sent it out. But it never looked quite right to me and I ended up constantly looking at the rewoven part (even though no one else probably noticed). Probably just my OCD tendencies though lol.
ALT
A reweaver! I have a guy in my city who does this for me…if you’re in Atlanta, I can give you his info!
Me
A reweaver. I have a name of a woman in Dallas if you want it.
anon
Could I get that Atlanta rec please? Thanks!
Anon
A proficient knitter!
I have knit for decades and love fixing holey sweaters for my family, friends, and select coworkers.
Anon
That is me too. But if you have holes, you have moths and you also have to address that.
1) wash your cashmere regularly. Moths are attracted to your body oils on the cashmere.
2) get some moth traps and hang them up, change out every 6 months.
3) if you buy secondhand wool or cashmere (i do) put it in a ziploc in the freezer the minute you open the package and don’t take it out for 3 weeks.
Anon
Dr. Killigan’s Premium Clothing Moth Traps with Pheromones Prime | Non-Toxic Clothes Moth Trap with Lure for Closets & Carpet | Moth … https://a.co/d/eB2Eg03
Anon
A side note: holes can mean moths, but not always (and not necessarily most of the time, either). Especially in soft, delicate fibers like 100% cashmere, merino, etc., holes frequently develop in high-wear areas like where you rest your elbows or where your purse strap rubs. Snags can also happen if your coat zipper catches a thread or if you habitually lean on the edge of a counter.
I finally realized one day that I did not, in fact, have a tummy-obsessed moth but that my jeans fly had a little snaggy bit of melted thread end that caught on all my sweaters and t-shirts. Once I took a nail file to that rough thread my shirts stopped developing belly button holes.
Anon
French Reweaver.
But– freeze your remaining sweaters, make sure you don’t still have moths, put your cashmere in large ziplocs for a while in your shelves. Moths are pernicious!
anon
My tailor has a contact who does this beautifully and for a really modest price, so I just go to my tailor.
Panda Bear
AlterKnit in NYC if you are willing to mail it in and wait a few weeks. They do a lovely job.
Anon
Building on the comment above about corporate burnout, any ideas on how to figure out what would help? I’m working long hours for lots of money but no longer energized by the work. I’m fairly high up in Corporate Finance but it’s starting to weigh on me that we’re squeezing more and more profit out of fewer workers, only to pay measly bonuses while our C suite (and myself, to be fair) get generous stock options and promotions.
I’m not sure I can do this for the next 20 years but not sure what my next step should be. I need a down ramp but not sure how to go about it. I also don’t know if I need to do a more meaningful job or just a less stressful/ draining job. I’m scared to take a 50+% pay cut to work the same long hours in a NPO and be no better off. How do I figure out what will truly help?
Anon
The person above who said find fulfillment outside of work nailed it. I work for the money and I’m fine with that.
Anne-on
This. Start by leaning out to the extent you can – say no to the extra stuff, narrow your scope and see what happens. I’d bet the answer is nothing and you’ve now reclaimed time for your own life. With that time focus on what would energize you – more time with friends? family? volunteer work?
Anon
I hear you on the fear of going to a non-profit and then still working long hours. However, would you consider government? Many government organizations have really strict rules about working hours and paying OT / comp time if you do go over 37.5 or 40 hours a week. Depending on where you work (federal, state, or local) and your level, government pays pretty well and has good benefits.
While I agree that it’s still important to find fulfillment outside of your job, it’s a LOT easier to have the time and energy to do fulfilling things when you strictly work 40 hours a week.
Anon
Read the book Burnout by Nagoski. It helps you understand what kind of rest you need to feel energized.
Also, work on not defining yourself so much by your job. It’s a means to an end, not the end itself. This involves a mindset shift and it’s hard. GL!
Anon
As much as I don’t want to feel defined by my job, I can’t help it. I spend 40+ hours a week working! I get plenty of fulfilment from non-work activities and relationships, but I find it hard to separate myself from my job. If I don’t feel fulfilled or that I’m doing “good” 40+ hours a week, it’s hard to not have those feelings seep into my “real life”.
Anon
I really struggle with the mindset of “if you’re not helping, you’re hurting”. So, if I’m not doing meaningful work for my career, I’m just contributing to the net negative that exists in this world.
Anon
That’s ridiculous.
NYNY
Do you have the sway to make it better? If you’re in a position to start to push back on staffing cuts and/or improve compensation and benefits for the workers, maybe you can re-energize yourself and feel better about the work. I’m not saying to put a guillotine in every slide deck, but any small movement from leadership to improve the lot of workers is meaningful.
Anon
This is an excellent point. One VP in my organization is such a joy to work for/with that employees from all the other units flock to her unit. They do good work for the organization, and they have such a sense of camaraderie. Stunningly, even after years of this, none of the other VPs or C-suite folks have figured out that they should emulate her leadership.
Anonymous
If you really make that much money and are ~45, can’t you save for a few years to get to several million dollars in assets, exercise your options, and then retire and pursue your hobbies full-time? Going by the 3% rule you could retire quite comfortably on $6M, especially if you paid off your mortgage first.
Anon
Another favorite color pick today!