Coffee Break: Tory Pointed Toe Flat

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1. We’re planning to go to DC as a family over spring break (late March). I haven’t been to DC-proper recently (only Tysons or National Harbor). Ideally we’d like something centrally located, where it’s not a ghost town at night, and suites/spaces with a kitchenette would be a bonus. Budget is roughly $300/night but could go a bit higher. Before I default to an Embassy Suites I’d appreciate other ideas!

   1. I feel like that is hard, close-in (Dupont-ish?). I feel like close-in, it’s for work travelers who don’t need a kitchen or a suite. Further out, it’s more budget school travel places. Maybe the Club Quarters near the White House? Our firm used to put people up there.

   2. I would look in crystal city. No particular hotel recommendations, but it’s going to be near impossible to find a hotel with a kitchenette or a suite at that price in DC proper, especially because late March is prime tourism season

   3. Try Arlington or Alexandria or Bethesda. Not sure of the prices but that’s where you want to be.

   4. If you want to be centrally located, look at Mt Vernon (neighborhood in DC), which is very central (and easy walking distance to the red/yellow/green lines.) There’s a Holiday Inn on NY Ave that’s next to and across from apartments (and a grocery store). Fast casual and nice restaurants are 2 blocks away. No idea how it’s inside or if it has a kitchenette.

2. I’d like these so much more without the buckle. Not ever accessory needs an accessory.

   1. Same- the buckle (and, tbh, the other LK Bennett shoes that are discounted) look very 10-15 years ago to my eye. Like, the Sledge is in there. Even Kate Middleton gave those up ~2015. Stuart Weitzman makes a similar flat with no detailing.

   2. It’s a classic style that has been around for 70 years.

3. Talk to me about wool. I used to love wool (wrinkle resistant, warm, can look a bit more polished than cotton). Now, my skin can deal with merino (primarily in socks and some winter underpinnings). But even cashmere needs an underlayer now. It doesn’t itch so much as it feels like brillo resting uncomfortably against my skin (LL Bean birdseye sweater — a classic I’ve had since high school) to the point where I swear I can feel the scraping through a turtleneck. I don’t think I’m allergic to wool (see merino effect). Maybe, as Parker Posey said, I’m just not meant to live an uncomfortable life?

   1. What’s your question?

   2. I do not understand how anyone can wear wool or cashmere next to their skin. Do they just ignore the discomfort? Or does it really not bother them?

      1. For me, it’s “really truly doesn’t bother me”. Don’t make yourself wear uncomfortable fabrics!

      2. it does not bother me at all, at least cashmere and merino don’t

      3. Most cashmere and merino feel like nothing to me. Wool blends, however expensive or purportedly ‘soft’ will annoy me within minutes.

      4. They’re soft and cozy.

   3. Is your skin more sensitive to other things? I’ve sometimes had “nerves on end” type sensitivities when I had deficiencies or other things going on that resolved together with those issues. I remember not being able to wear denim because it felt so harsh and scratchy. Now I live in jeans again, but it is a strange contrast.

      Definitely no need to be uncomfortable!

      1. Ha — pants are only uncomfortable when I wear them at my prior size. I’m about half a size up now and really should complete the re-shopping for things without a stretchy waist.

   4. I guess I usually do wear something under my wool or cashmere, although I am comfortable wearing short sleeve shirts under wool or cashmere cardigans.

      Weirdly, although acrylic blends do not itch when I put them on, they make me sweaty and then I feel sweaty and itchy. So, I am Team Wool or Cashmere, preferably 100%, which is becoming harder and harder to find except for $$$$. Or in boring colors from Quince.

   5. Yeah, I just can’t do wool or cashmere. I’ve tried so many sweaters and they just go unworn. Even with an undershirt, I feel the fibers, and it’s an unpleasant sensation. It’s gotten worse with age. I don’t think I’m allergic or anything, I just can’t stand how it feels.

      I know there’s a lot of hate for acrylic, and I get why, but a cotton-acrylic blend generally works for me.

   6. Skin can get sensitive to things at any point, and it doesn’t always rise to the level of allergy. Sounds like that’s what’s going on here.

   7. Okay, don’t wear it! Just like yesterday’s poster doesn’t need to wear suede shoes. These posts are so bizarre to me.

      1. It’s often the same poster who is paranoid about following some “rules” for how professional women or women of a certain age should dress.

   8. I bought a cashmere sweater from LL Bean last year and the quality was horrendous. It’s now in the trash. Maybe it was just their cashmere, not all cashmere, if you’ve been fine until then?

   9. This is an extremely common sensitivity. Just something you have to avoid.

   10. I think it’s because our skin gets dryer with age. If I use a dry oil on my arms, I can do a wool or cashmere sweater every now and then. I also tuck a small silk scarf into the neckline.

   11. I love wool. Sheep’s wool. I love merino wool and wear it year round, same for different breeds like Blue-faced Leicester. I need a layer beneath rougher wools like Shetland or Jacob or whatever breed Lopi is made from, but most is lovely,

       My skin does not want cashmere, angora, mohair or alpacca as a sweater without a layer. I love them and wear them, but I like an undershirt or a silk blend.

       My skin hates and rejects acrylic, nylon or polyester knit sweater, and I find acrylic especially a lot more scratchy than even rough Shetland wool.

       I think that I’d probably do better with cashmere if I had the budget for really good quality, as is I love a cashmere second layer.

   12. It can be about how the fibers are spun. A smoother, tighter yarn like most merino wools have is less irritating.

   13. I have a wool allergy. It started just as you described–could wear merino, couldn’t wear other types. Not I can’t wear any wool or cashmere at all, even with a liner layer. Just makes me crazy if my skin is touching it. You likely do have a sensitivity or allergy, and the way merino is knit is workable, but…don’t spend a ton on merino, because you may not be able to tolerate it in an few years either.

4. if you have a summer or very seasonal hobby, what do you do when it’s done? feeling a bit lost now that the gardening season is over

   1. New seasonal hobby! Hiking, knitting, cooking, skiing, whatever, take lessons in something new

   2. I picked my rec league sport completely based on its season falling in the muddy middle months between the end of skiing & the beginning of good backpacking season, so that’s an option. I like living in a 4-seasons climate; and now I have matching hobbies to swap out with my clothes boxes!

      I also grow a big garden every year and love it; and I realize part of what I love is the quiet, productive routine of caring for it – and so I make sure to keep a few inside winter plants, that at least need me to water them and clip the dead leaves and maybe repot occasionally – it gives me that touchstone through the winter without taking much time.

   3. Find a hobby or activity that can be done in cold dark weather. Indoor sports, exercise classes, art classes, dance classes, specialty “sports” like indoor rock climbing or bowling, trivia leagues, music and theater, mahjong (my 30 something friends do this) poker night or other card games, volunteering, book club… Also small things you can do at home like cooking projects, puzzles, games, indoor plants and flower arranging

   4. As a gardener myseif I actially love winter! You get a little rest, then in Jan/feb is when allll the pretty plant and seed catalogs come! and you get to snuggle up with all the catalogs plus the new gardenung books you bought to plan the coming season.

   5. It’s hard. Nothing really replaces gardening, but I try to lean into reading, baking, and crafting.

   6. There’s a lot of gardening to be done in fall!
      – fall planting in my kitchen garden. Think fast growing things like lettuce, radishes, snap peas
      – filling in bare spots that didn’t fill in this year with bulbs or other fall-planted things like bushes and small understory trees.
      – collecting seeds from spent flowers or veggies that bolted
      – drying herbs. I freeze some in olive oil too.
      – take cuttings to propagate plants inside for the winter to be planted in spring. Coleus, lavender, and Russian sage are my favorites to propagate.
      – figuring out canning supplies for next year. What worked, what didn’t work this year. I make a list while it’s still fresh and then try to get stuff when it goes on sale
      – clean up beds. I leave a lot of leaf litter and dead plants for insects to overwinter. But I clean up the edges of the beds so they’re delineated from the lawn/woods
      – kill invasives. This is an ongoing battle but it feels so hard during the growing season. At this time of year I can still see where the plants are, but they’re not out of control, so it’s easier to treat them.
      – lawn treatment. I mostly leave this to DH but I have some vague idea that there’s lawn stuff to be done in the fall
      – check out trees to see if I need to call the arborist this year before the snow hits. We have a lot of trees, including very old trees in various stages of their life cycle. Not really “gardening” but I feel like gardening has given me a much better eye for tree health issues too.

5. Is br**st sensitivity age related or a perimenopausal symptom? Mine have been far more sensitive in the past year or two (age 38) than even when I was pregnant (youngest kid is 3). Anything brushing against them is uncomfortable, I basically jump scare when my DH touches them, and I’m always desperate to take off my bra.

   1. Yes I’ve noticed mine are more sensitive for a couple years. I’m 40 and in early peri.

   2. yes, especially if it’s before my period, but every night the bra is coming off earlier and earlier

   3. Mine are definitely more sensitive. However, if they’re so sensitive that brushing against them hurts, I would see the doctor right away. I had a time when one of mine was uncomfortable if my arm brushed it and they made a point of checking it right away. It turned out to be non-lactational mastitis (I had been done nursing for a couple years) but apparently it can also be a symptom of more serious concerns.

      1. It’s always good to get things checked out but my OBGYN told me pain/sensitivity is almost never a symptom of breast cancer.

   4. I did not have that symptom through perimenopause or menopause. Given the level of sensitivity you’re describing, you should run it by your doctor.

6. 1. Have any of you pursued genetic testing for family cancer risk? Do you think it was worth it or helpful (or just another box of anxieties)?
   2. When you have a toxic family member but you are the child who is local to your remaining parent, do you re-initiate contact when that parent seemingly takes a turn for the much worse? Just let them know if hospitalized? When the funeral is? I know that toxic sibling calls parent periodically to talk “at” the parent, complain about me, or ask for money. The talks are often upsetting to parent, but are sometimes just parent listening while toxic sibling talks. Assisted living staff has the paperwork on file to be able to talk to toxic sibling directly (without me), but that might change in a hospital setting. Just trying to plan out a course of action because I will ultimately have to deal with toxic sibling as executor of parent’s estate that will be left to us equally. If there is a book for this, I need it.

   1. For 1, no, primarily because I think it’s just unnecessary anxiety for most people and because I don’t trust the information not to be used for some unwanted purpose like life or health insurance premiums eventually. But I can see why people do it in circumstances where they either don’t know anything about their family history or have specific concerns related to said history,

      For 2, that’s tough and I would probably reach out at least once but maybe not if I thought the toxic sibling would make it worse for the parent. If possible, I would ask parent what they preferred.

   2. 1. I haven’t, but I have a huge family and know what runs in the family, so it just seems redundant to me of what I already know. I don’t get anxiety over the things I do know so I wouldn’t hesitate to pursue testing that I thought could help me.

   3. I would do 1 only if I reasonably expected it impacted my care plan, which would only be the case if there was a real reason for the testing, like an extensive history of the Lynch-related cancers or whatever.

7. I heard a rumor that there are Vuori dupe joggers at Costco. Anyone care to confirm or deny if they’re truly similar feel/quality?

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