Coffee Break: Lauren Coat

98 Comments

1. Friday the 13th tomorrow!

   1. Friday, March 13. I saw something on social media that asked “will this reset the timeline?”

      1. Yep! It was the last normal day. By Monday the 16th schools were closed and we worked alone in closed offices. (That was for a week, before wfh began.) I remember a colleague emailing us all that “there’s this thing called zoom we might want to check out . . . “

         1. Yep, I just double-checked my email and we had an email from daycare at 6 pm on Friday the 13th saying “we will be open as normal next week, there’s no sickness here so school is continuing as planned but we’re canceling optional events,” and then 12 hours later on Saturday morning it was “We have decided to close until further notice…”

            1. Our daycare stayed open through Tuesday the 17th, we have a picture of our then 8-month old in his St. Patrick’s Day onesie. Then it never reopened. Ugh such a wild time.

   2. 4 weeks after the last one . . . .

   3. Friday, March 13th was the day the world shut down in 2020 for me. A little nervous!

      1. I had not yet made that connection, but same! I was supposed to go for happy hour with friends that day and we postponed “until after St. Patty’s Day” because the news was just so weird. We never did reschedule.

      2. I think I saw it coming by the end of January, and everyone told me I was crazy. So glad I stocked up like a crazy woman.

         Unfortunately, I stocked up for a 3 week isolation, per the early advice of epidemiologists, which I just have to laugh at now. (The advice was along the lines of “you’re going to get this, and you’ll have to stay home for maybe three weeks.”)

         Those dried beans and rice lasted a long time though! Who knew I’d need to stock up on face masks???

         1. I also saw it coming in January, in time to track down a few N95 construction masks at Home Depot. They were already selling out at that point.

         2. You were listening to different epidemiologists than I was. My crew said we were going home for 18 months to 2 years.

2. question of the day: has anyone shifted their thoughts away from the few better mentality around clothing? With the huge caveat that clothing and style matters to me, and i totally get that not everyone here values that, I feel like this is causing more harm than good style wise.

   I tend to say “oh I already have black flats” because I hate the idea of owning two pairs of similar shoes, or tops or whatever. Meanwhile, everything gets worn out pretty quickly or at least looks less fresh than I’d like it to. I love the idea of owning one perfect thing but I think it’s a problematic approach. I do aim to take good care of things and I recognize that a well worn pair of jeans sometimes looks amazing but my stuff is just looking more shabby than I’d like. Maybe it’s better to have a few gap sweaters that look newer than one perfect Ralph lauren one? Does it depend on the category? Like maybe you replace casual tops each season but wool pants are fine to keep?

   1. When you say you aim to take care what does that mean? Do you use appropriate laundry chemicals and air dry? Do you wash and condition your leather goods?

      But no, I don’t think more is better, there are enough clothes on this planet to clothe the next SEVEN generations, and I personally am not willing to make it worse.

      1. Also fold knits and hang wovens! You can stretch out knits hanging them and hanging wovens prevents wrinkles.

   2. Hmm. I have multiples (2-4, depending) of the one perfect thing. I never wear my less good things, and I have no issue being perceived as wearing the same thing all the time.

      1. I also buy in multiples. Is anyone really going to notice that every time I appear in a perfect white tee it is from the same manufacturer?

         1. Exactly. Maybe someone thinks I’m pulling the same pants out of the hamper day after day, but the truth is I just have multiples, and they’re not interesting or unique enough for anyone to remember.

   3. I am doing fine with “fewer,” but “better” is becoming increasingly difficult to find. Everything is getting more expensive as it also becomes more poorly cut and/or constructed.

      I have always gravitated towards the same few favorite items in my closet, so it makes sense to weed out the things that aren’t getting worn and not to buy anything that isn’t a clear winner. But I won’t limit myself to just one great sweater. I have enough clothes to get me through a week or more in any season before I have to do laundry. I also have appropriate outfits and accessories for the many levels of formality I encounter in my daily life.

   4. I replace items individually when needed rather than do a full refresh of all of one type of thing at a time. I start looking for replacements when I notice the item is starting to deteriorate beyond what I can reasonably clean, polish, mend, or refresh. So if I have a casual top that is starting to lose its shape, I replace it at the next good sale and retire the old one, but I don’t just arbitrarily replace every casual top in my closet simply because the season has changed.

      My items don’t tend to get worn really quickly, though. If you are burning through quality items at a fast pace, it might be worth exploring how to care for and store them to see if you can extend their useful life a bit longer.

      1. Op. I mean I’m laundering appropriately air drying, conditioning, using shoe trees, ect. I do try to baby things but except for my workout wear, which still looks great years later, things look a little sad after a season or two. I do have, for instance, a cotton knit j crew top that Ive worn weekly since November. It’s just lost its shape. Maybe I should have gotten another one back in November and I’d have looked better and maybe not have had to toss either?

         1. If you wear the same items over and over they will wear out more quickly. This is part of why I buy multiples of key items. Also because I am not doing laundry more than once a week.

         2. So 15-20 wears? Maybe separate the idea of having only one of a given item from having very few items overall? If you are wearing most of your items once a week, that’s probably why they are wearing out quickly.

            1. Nothing should die in 20 wears, I have dressed with hundreds of wears. If something is getting damaged that quickly it’s either bad quality or the wearer is very hard on their clothes

            2. Thanks yes. I still think in the long run I still have a relatively small wardrobe, I just am maybe asking too much of certain pieces.

            3. Everything is poor quality these days. Nothing stays looking nice much beyond 20 wears.

            4. Once a week would be 52 wears a year, not 15-20 wears. That’s a significantly higher number of wears. Multiples mean you can wear the same sort of item while allowing each particular item to rest inbetween wears, and to launder each item fewer times, due to fewer wears per year. If I find something I like, I usually try to buy two version of the same piece of clothing, say, in different colors, because why not expand the joy?

         3. I wear undershirts, meaning I launder the main items less frequently. The undershirts can be washed forever and hold up. The main items last longer w fewer washings.

   5. With the caveat that I don’t love clothing and am pretty happy wearing the same things on repeat so fewer is better for me, you sound like someone who could thrive on a one-in/one-out system. You don’t want to own two pairs of black flats. But that doesn’t mean you need to own the pair that you currently have. If you want a new pair of black flats, buy them and move the other pair out of your house.
      If you have a friend who is like me and doesn’t like shopping and isn’t terribly particular about clothing and is about your size, ask if she would like your old stuff. I would be so happy to have someone like you in my life!

   6. Honest answer, fewer better mentality works best for ADDING to an existing established wardrobe. Think of it as you have enough work shirts to make it through the week, but the new one or two you buy each season will be nicer and designed to last a few years. It’s meant to go against buying five t-shirts at target that will last for a month, not trying to find the perfect pair of flats that will last ten years.

      1. Ok this is helpful! I just need a few more basics than I think. I don’t mind wearing the same thing I just hate looking shabby.

         1. If you have fewer clothes you have to replace them more frequently or they will look shabby.

      2. +1 – also for things worn right next to the body, I don’t expect more than 1-2 seasons out of them and buy appropriately inexpensive tops. For sweaters I wear an underlayer (mostly) and that helps with not having to wash every wear which prolongs their life.
         However, if you only have 7 tops total you may want to add a few more, that doesn’t seem like enough to be able to account for laundry/stains/etc.

         1. I keep advocating for undershirts. No reason to have the main expensive piece of clothing right against your skin.

   7. I’ve made a few changes over the years. I’m naturally a fewer-is-better person. But as I put it into action, I realized (to use sandals for an example) if I only have 2 or 3 pair that i’m wearing 7 days a week, all summer, they are wearing out pretty quickly. Which means I’m ALWAYS shopping for a new pair of sandals to replace an old pair. I learned I need more pairs so I can wear each pair only 1 or 2x per week, and get two or three seasons out of them, so I’m not having to shop for sandals all the time simply to replace ones that are wearing out.

      I do not have this problem with jeans, handbags, winter coats, dressy clothing items, sweatshirts, skirts, or dresses. They either wear much better, or I don’t wear them enough to have them wear out as quickly. I do have this problem with t-shirts, sweaters-that-pill, and white sneakers, and some summer items.

      1. +1 – sandals, t-shirts, white tops, and anything made out of cheap poly blends are genearlly 1-2 seasons max in my book.

   8. The vast majority of clothing and accessories in current or recent production are of spectacularly poor quality for a multitude of reasons. Best to buy secondhand if you want items that are more likely to last.

      1. this is me, I’m reaching back in time for nice staples from Brooks Brothers and older JCrew etc on ThredUp.

   9. I wash in cold water and air dry plus I’m choosy about fabric so my casual clothes take years to wear out. I’ve gotten better at limiting myself to a couple perfect new items per season. And I avoid uber-trendy pieces that will look dated by next year.

      I don’t believe formal business clothes are meant to last forever. The fabrics are unforgiving when your weight fluctuates and they need to be in perfect shape to look decent. I own fewer pieces, they wear out pretty quickly, and I’m happy to replace them.

   10. Haha, I love the idea of a minimal wardrobe, but my reality is that I have to wash everything every wear. So I have like 5 pairs of the same washable pants in the same color. Like a uniform. It makes it easy to get dressed, and all my tops work well with those same navy pants.

       I unfortunately no longer think any brand has higher quality than any other. I used to think that, but my experience over the last five years or so has shown me that pretty much all mass produced items have roughly the same (lack of) quality across all brands. I’m not wearing couture here. That would be a different story.

       1. I am a sweaty bish and do something similar (except I can get a couple wears out of jeans). Everything has to go with black or gray so I can dress it up as needed.

   11. I think “better” is sort of where things often get lost–it’s not necessarily more money or a certain brand. Some of it is knowing how to spot the right construction. For example, 100% cotton t-shirts often feel sturdy but will inevitably lose their shape. Too high of a modal will be flimsy. A very high percentage of cotton with a small bit of modal in a thick fabric will usually hold up really well. When I find a holy grail tee, I buy multiple, but not more than I would use with the current rotation in a typical week or so. I have a Nike sweatshirt that I love. I own in it in multiple colors. I have been wearing them now for several years and expect to for several more because it washes well. It’s my wfh and weekend uniform. I won’t buy more than one color until I’m certain it isn’t prone to shrinking or if I would, say, wear it only on a weekend because I work in an office. Buying less overall is the goal. The “better” part comes into play on how you get there. I only want one trenchcoat. I’m willing t pay a lot but won’t necessarily–it’s going to be more about the feel of the fabric, drape, color, timelessness of the style etc. to me.

   12. I think it’s smart to have a few things that you refresh each year. A pair of jeans, a pair of sneakers, so forth.

   13. Why don’t you repair stuff and take better care of it? No, more cheap, plastic, and ill-fitting clothing is not the answer. Obviously.

   14. I am going harder on fewer and better now than before.

       I’ve been buying mostly second hand and vintage clothes for the last years, and it has definitely changed how I view current new clothes.

       When I go into shops now, whether fast fashion or «heritage», I browse and leave. The quality is so inferior that I just leave. The fabrics are terrible and construction cheap.

       The second hand clothes I do buy, I wash on cold and hang dry, and they will last years.

       It’s very disheartening, but new clothes are really inferior. I love fashion, but I want better than current offerings.

3. Has anyone switched to a mechanical keyboard? the idea is you press the keys down harder and it makes an appealing typewriter sound?

   1. Absolutely not. My direct report has one and it’s galling that she paid money for that sound.

   2. I would worry about repetitive motion strain if I were actually pressing the keys down harder. Learning to type on a real typewriter gave me some terrible habits I had to unlearn!!

      However I thought that mechanical keyboards that e.g. gamers and coders use were usually fine tuned so that minimum pressure is adequate, and you get the appealing sound while applying less pressure than a regular keyboard or a typewriter.

   3. Not switched to, but always had one. One hidden advantage at least for the razor ones is that you can take it apart, dry it out and put it back together when you spill coffee on it.

      1. FWIW, a complete dismantle and hose-down washing has been possible with every normal keyboard I have used in this century.

   4. That sounds incredibly annoying, both to everyone who has to listen and to your poor hands.

   5. I like enough resistance when I type that I don’t accidentally enter something just by breathing on my keyboard, but not old school mechanical typewriter levels. That level of unnecessary noise would not be okay in my office and I type so much that I don’t want to imagine how bad it would be for my wrists.

   6. In tech, and I associate those keyboards with dude-bros who want everyone to know how hard they’re grinding.

   7. I had to google this, but I have one for my home office. I bought it for aesthetics (mine is green hues) not any technical functionality, but it’s fine. I don’t think I have to press the keys any harder than on a regular keyboard but i do like the sound. It gets the job done. No benefits or drawbacks, this is probably the most I’ve ever actually thought about it.

   8. I have one from Keychron, which I don’t think is called “mechanical” but rather “magnetic”? Or perhaps I am misremembering. Anyways, I get extreme satisfaction from the sound and experience of typing on it. I want to buy one for my home office as well but haven’t gotten worked up to spend the money yet.

   9. My husband has one at home and I hate it. It’s so freakin’ loud.

   10. I have one at home and I love it. You don’t press harder … it just gives you really pleasing tactile feedback, which you can customize by choosing the type of key. I find it really helps me maintain a more productive pace when I have a lot of typing to do. I would never use one in an office and I am mindful of it when taking notes on a call, although there are versions that are much quieter. It is an absolute joy to use.

4. Just booked trip to London in April! Other than Dishoom, where should we eat? :)

   1. Following! We’re going in May.

   2. Londoner here, and some of my favourite places in the centre of town are, in no particular order, Chishuru (West African, Fitzrovia, definitely make a reservation), Silka (Indian, Borough Market), and Bao (Taiwanese, various locations, including in Soho). Brindisa in Borough Market is also very good for tapas, but can be very busy.

      For Dishoom, I’d recommend going for their spectacular breakfast/brunch rather than lunch or dinner. And bonus, the queues tend to be minimal for breakfast.

      1. +1000 for going to Dishoom for breakfat/brunch!

   3. we enjoyed high tea at Aqua Shard!

   4. I personally love to have Sunday roast at one of time out or someone’s list of ranked pubs. But also in general yes to all the Indian food.

   5. just has Hoppers, which is Sri Lankan. so food still dreaming about some dishes

5. Applied for a job on a whim, currently in final stages. It would be very good for my career and it’s fully remote, which is good because we’re going to need to move for my husband’s job soon. But until we move for my husband’s job, we’re in a small 2 bedroom apt and I have no idea where to put a home office. We’ve got a toddler, which further limits options. Like, are there interior designers who can help me solve this problem? Do I try and rent an office somewhere? Small metro area, no co-working spaces to be had.

   1. Do you need a full office or just a desk? How long are you in this apartment? Are you the only one home during your work hours?

      And does the offer cover you being remote in the location you are planning to move to? My office does allow remote workers, but only in places where we already have a tax presence. We can’t just move to a different state or country without confirming first that the location is allowed.

      1. I am not the only one home during work hours, I need 2 monitors, a keyboard, and a place to sit, and the lease ends in July. Already covered that they have no issues with my current location or where I would move to, as that’s a deal breaker for everyone involved.

         1. Well, one large monitor is also fine. Just can’t do a tiny laptop screen!

            1. If the lease ends in July I’d go with a temporary solution, even if it’s a folding table in the bedroom.

               You can use your laptop screen as the second monitor.

         2. Your toddler needs to be in care for the hours you are working. That’s just the reality of a fully remote work. Some people think they can save on daycare by WFH, but you really can’t. You need to be able to work your work hours, especially when you’re making an impression at your new job, and the last thing you need is a toddler meltdown in the background while you’re on a zoom or whatever.

            I say this as a mom who loves kids, especially toddlers! But I’m also a professional and want you to be one as well.

            1. The person who may or may not be home is my husband – our work hours often overlap but often do not. My son will be in care, I’m not that kind of stupid.

            2. who said the OP doesn’t have childcare? Maybe childcare is a nanny who comes to the home.

            3. God this is condescending. Nowhere did she say she was going to attempt to WFH with a toddler at home.

            4. This is such a weird response. Nowhere did she suggest she was trying to care for the toddler while working.

            5. Good grief this is a presumptuous and condescending response. Especially your last line. Get a grip.

   2. I echo the questions of how long this will be for and whether anyone else will be home while you are working. If no one else will be home, I would avoid working in the bedroom. My WFH desk was in my bedroom for two years and it drove me nuts spending 18+ hours a day in the same room.

      If you don’t have room in your living room for a separate desk, you could take the approach I took with my current combination home office/rec room. I have a Pottery Barn wall desk system with a cabinet, desk, and file cabinet on one wall and a couch facing it on the opposite wall. My computer monitor is a large Samsung monitor that doubles as a TV. It is hooked up to a little soundbar and my teen’s gaming system. I keep the desktop free of clutter, so the wall system looks a lot like an entertainment center. The monitor is not as huge as most TVs are these days, but it’s still plenty big and not a problem in the smallish room. On the weekends my teenager just rolls the desk chair away and the room becomes her hangout.

   3. Welcome to my world. My desk is in our toddler’s room (he’s at daycare during the day) and I take the laptop out if needed. It sucks and we’re trying to move ASAP.

      1. How do you keep the toddler off your desk and chair when he is home? Does he just sleep in that room?

         1. Pretty much just sleeps there. It’s very small and has some hazards that are hard to manage (electric baseboard heater that can’t be covered, etc.) Cannot wait to move.

   4. You can buy wall-mounted desks if this will be a short-lived problem. Like, the desk equivalent of a Murphy bed.

      Also, +1 to making sure it’s ‘work from anywhere’ and not ‘remote from authorized states.’

   5. What I would do is carve out part of your dining or living room, put a desk there and get a folding screen behind it. Just deal with 30% less space in whatever room you pick until you move. There’s great cheap desks on Amazon or Wayfair, heck I’d even do a folding table and a decent chair.

   6. If you want to be very temporary, I just worked at the dining table or on my couch when the pandemic started. It was fine for a few months until I could get a permanent office set up. I would even buy a foldable card table if I only needed it for 3 months.

6. I’m a lawyer working with a couple of other firms on a joint brief and we divided up research and y’all… some of it is just so. bad. I suspect the senior attorneys foisted it off on baby associates (who possibly used AI) and didn’t review before they sent it to me. I don’t have a point or a question, I’m just venting. I guess please train your associates better?

   1. I have a theory that somehow I am the only person in the world who is still required to do their job right.

      1. We talk about this at my office regularly along with the corollary that we have to do other peoples’ jobs now so that we can then do our jobs.

   2. We were partnering with another firm on a response to an RFP and someone there used AI to write their section of the proposal and it was so horrific that they ended up bowing out at the last minute and leaving us high and dry. People keep telling me “just use AI!” but absolutely nothing about it is convincing me it will be helpful in my job. I tried three different AI programs to execute what should have been a very simple task (convert sentence fragments into full sentences) and they all completely sh*t the bed in the attempt.

   3. Ugh. The worst.

   4. The problem of group projects is never solved, is it?

7. How long do biopsies take? Had one done on a mole by my hairline and I’m freaking out. It’ll be a week tomorrow.

   1. Turn around time for my gyn practice is about a week. Hope you get good news!

   2. I would check in with the doctor after a week of waiting. That feels long to me. But I don’t think the long wait is correlated with bad news. If anything, they probably prioritize more serious conditions.

      1. Yes. This is what the tech at my mammogram said – if it’s bad they call you quickly, if it’s not you sometimes just get a letter that it’s fine and that can take a while.

   3. A week or two seems normal to me. Based on my limited experience, a week if the derm is more concerned and longer if the derm is less concerned.

      Totally fine to reach out after a week to ask when to expect the results if you didn’t get that up front.

8. I think I need to talk to my doctor about perimenopause… Did anyone else experience mood swings that made you weepy? I get teary over minor setbacks at work, and it’s really impacting my ability to get shit done. It’s a new job, with a lot of aspects that take getting used to and can be frustrating, but essentially I should be able to pull on my big girl pants and deal with it, except then the tears come. Who is this person in my head?

   1. Is it a little like PMDD?

      1. yes, a bit but just more uncontrollable?

         1. I think this is sometimes what they use body identical progesterone for (the synthetic progestin isn’t as helpful for mental health apparently).

   2. I wasn’t personally weepy but rage is real. I also didn’t have hot flashes at the start so don’t assume you will. I thought it couldn’t be perimenopause because I didn’t have hot flashes. I went to a few doctors before finally finding one who knew what they were doing. I personally wasn’t going to take an antidepressant for a hormone imbalance.

   3. I was found sitting at my desk with giant tears running down my face for no reason whatsoever by an old school male head of the office. He became very distressed asking me what was wrong and wouldn’t accept my answer of “nothing is wrong”. Finally I shouted at him IT’S HORMONES and he took off like a scalded cat.

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