Coffee Break: Raquel Block Heel Sandal
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Ooh, I love the vintage vibe to this block heeled sandal from Vionic. Readers turned me on to this brand as a comfort powerhouse — they really are excellent for fussy feet. Sandals aren't appropriate at every office, but if they are for yours I can see this being a nice version to wear with a dress, cropped pants, or more.
(There's actually an old rule that a sandal is more appropriate for work if there is more sandal than foot — thoughts? I think this one fits the bill, but I suppose it depends what you're comparing it to!)
The shoe is part of the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale, which means that the current price is $69, but after the sale the price will go back up to $165. It's available in four colors, sizes 5-13. (You can also find the sandal full price at Vionic.com.)
Sales of note for 7/11:
- Nordstrom – Designer clearance, up to 60% off!
- Ann Taylor – Semi-annual sale, 60% off sale and 40% off everything — readers love this blouse and I always love the variety of colors/textures for this jacket (it's a great separate)
- Athleta – Extra 30% off semi-annual sale, up to 60% off reader favorites like Brookyn and Endless pants
- AYR – Ooh, good sale section — but lots on final sale. Readers love (LOVE) these comfy work pants and these jeans.
- Banana Republic – Summer sale up to 60% off sale styles + extra 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Up to 40% off sitewide + 40% off 3+ items
- Cuyana – Archive sale, up to 60% off
- Evereve – Extra 30% off sale!
- The Fold – Up to 50% off, further markdowns
- Hobbs – Up to 50% off, extra 30% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select cashmere
- J.Crew Factory – 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off
- Lululemon – Summer sale!
- Margaux – Save up to 50% off, including archive sale
- Me & Em – Sale! Up to 50% off (new lines just added)
- M.M.LaFleur – 25% off jardigans (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off on other items)
- Nordstrom Rack – Clear the rack, extra 25% off clearance! Nice selection of Vince, Veronica Beard, Reiss and Rag & Bone, a ton of affordable work dresses from Calvin Klein, Maggy London, Eliza J, and Donna Morgan
- Strathberry – Up to 30% off select styles
- Talbots – 40% off your entire purchase + extra 15% off markdowns
I am obsessed with the sweater that Emily Blunt’s character wears in the “May the bridges I burn” scene in the Devil Wears Prada 2. But I can’t ID it! I have posted on social media, DMed the costume designer from the movie (no response), and asked all the AI platforms — all to no avail! Any suggestions?
Link to movie still: https://imgur.com/a/YllAljk
I haven’t seen the movie and I’m unsure about the color from the image you shared, but if it’s grey it looks a lot like this one: https://www.cos.com/en-us/women/womenswear/knitwear/cardigans/cashmere/product/cashmere-v-neck-cardigan-grey-mlange-1288388002
i read somewhere that she’s the only one with a cohesive wardrobe in the movie because almost everything of hers is rick owens.
I work from home 100% of the time, with occasional visits into an office that is casual (it’s tech, so jeans and a nice top are fine kind of place). In the summer, I’m mostly a sundress person (which is appropriate for this office), but can’t figure out what to wear over top of them when I’m cold since the waists sit a little higher and all my sweaters I have are much longer. Thoughts/suggestions?
Should have added in need of plus size options
Jean jacket?
This! There are many cropped jean jackets in various colours of denim available now that would do the job. Ditto for cropped cardigans.
I work in the same type of office, in tech.
Thin summer cardigan? Something like this:
https://www.quince.com/women/women-s-fine-gauge-cardigan?color=heather-oatmeal&gender=women
There are a lot of shorter/cropped cardigans out there now as well.
A pashmina (light wool wrap) in a neutral or complementary color is my go-to when the AC is too much. They are really easy to stow as well.
maybe something like the allsaints pirate cardigan?
I have a boxy cropped button-up from BRFactory that might work. They currently have a “boxy button down shirt” and a “cropped cotton shirt” that look similar.
Their “Voile Blouson-Sleeve Drawstring-Hem Top” could also be worn as a top layer over a dress.
I’m in Chicago for the first time on a quick work trip and staying at the Intercontinental. I’m doing an architectural boat tour tonight and am hoping to have a break to get to the Art Institute but their hours are quite limited. Any other absolute “must see or do” things that don’t take much time? I also would love any coffee, breakfast, lunch or dinner spots within a 15 or 20 minute walk of the hotel. Thanks in advance!
If you are into architecture, there is a lot of Frank Lloyd Wright’s early work to see. I love to do a morning walk/run where you visit the Bean, then head over to the the Rookery early in the morning while everything is empty. If you have more time and are a museum person, I would book the u-boat tour at the field museum (it’s something boomer dad’s suggest that is actually worth it) then walk over to the Robbie House.
Riverwalk in the morning before it gets to be a party zone. Try Purple Pig for “wine and swine” as it’s just across from your hotel. Try drinks on a terrace at st Regis (Miru). For a very fun performance try Magic Parlour. Tickets may even be on sale at Tix.
Do-Rite donuts is right near the Intercontinental and is awesome. Beatrix is good for breakfast/brunch. A little further but The Dearborn is really good for dinner. I think that might be my favorite Loop restaurant.
That’s so funny because that’s where I went for dinner last night! It was excellent and glad to hear that it’s a good spot!
I really love Chicago’s public art, and you can walk around and see as much or as little as you have time for. Here is a good starter guide: https://www.choosechicago.com/articles/museums-art/public-art-in-the-chicago-loop/
For dinner, Frontera Grill or Topolobampo.
You know how you always read about neighbors fighting over fences? What happens if neighbor A builds a fence that’s on neighbor B’s property by like 5”. They go to court over it and court says neighbor B is right and A has to move the fence. What happens if A just….doesn’t? Is it just that B can demolish it or is there like a wild scenario where B can have A arrested or some nonsense?
Same for a more extreme example like something with foundation is built somewhere it shouldn’t be and has to move. What happens if the party just…doesn’t move it.
Contempt of court, civil fines.
I think fines and fees mount up and eventually there’s cause to seize your home. Based on a lifetime of Daily Mail reading.
The DM can teach you a lot about life. Like how many people go out on a day hike and just die.
Ask r/homeowners or r/legal and be sure to mention the state/country where you live. You might not get the right answer, but it will be entertaining.
First, it will depend on what the court said for the timing of removal. Immediately? Is it overdue? Can you speak with the neighbor? If you are both homeowners and are staying long-term, look up community mediation or restorative practices to see if that can get both of you talking.
It may be that the neighbor is trying to get the contractor to fix the error.
For a foundation – was it just laid, or for how many years/homeowners has it been over the line? That might be about title insurance.
For the first scenario, knocking down the fence without being in agreement with your neighbor is going to create more problems than it solves, especially if the neighbor plans to move an un-damaged fence, and the fence is rendered unusable.
First, it will depend on what the court said for the timing of removal. Immediately? Is it overdue? Can you speak with the neighbor? Contempt and fines happen – from the court. If you are both homeowners and are staying long-term, look up community mediation or restorative practices to see if that can get both of you talking.
It may be that the neighbor is trying to get the contractor to fix the error.
For a foundation – was it just laid, or for how many years/homeowners has it been over the line? That might be about title insurance.
For the first scenario, knocking down the fence without being in agreement with your neighbor is going to create more problems than it solves, especially if the neighbor plans to move an un-damaged fence, and the fence is rendered unusable.
It’s just a hypothetical; my mom is butting into a 3rd party’s drama and I was just curious but obviously not all that vested as to retain legal advice on her friend’s neighbor’s son or whatever lol. I put the scenario to chat gpt too and essentially got that- court fees and fines.
i mean if a fence is on my property and i don’t want it then yeah i’ll demolish it. if a court has said it’s on my property why wouldn’t i?
Assume I did want a fence with my neighbor and the fence encroached on my property. I might be willing to leave it up, but there needs to be documentation signed by both home owners so that the other property doesn’t later claim adverse possession over the extra inches by which they encroach on my property. I think that the burdened property can basically give an easement to the benefiting property, which would expire when the fence was taken down by anyone, including an act of nature.
right but in the OP’s hypothetical they were supposed to take an action that they have not, not come to an agreement that they haven’t. but agree that that would be a good thing to look into.
but i’d definitely worry about adverse possession cases here.
Why wouldn’t you “sell” that land to your neighbor though? If you agree to leave it, you can’t access that property any longer, you’re liable for it and paying property taxes on it. If I was going to let the fence stay, I’d make it conditional on my being compensated for the land in a sale and it being properly conveyed to the neighbor, and at neighbor’s sole expense.
This is all assuming its run of the mill land and doesn’t have, like, rare minerals under it or anything. But it fees foolish to allow the incorrect fence without remedy for control on the land. I’m not a lawyer but I work in transactional commercial real estate so that’s how I’d think about it without more context.
My sibling (adult 40+) has brewing discontents and slights and perceived insults from many – nearly all other cousins and relatives. It could be an argument in a family message group, or someone didn’t come to a baby shower when sibling invited. Once it was an argument with a decade younger relative where sibling was offended and insulted, and they did not speak for over a year. The topic itself was very trivial but it’s really important for my sibling to feel respected and looked up to, and hence the tendency to take offense if this is not met. I know the details of several of these tiffs and think they are not worth getting offended about.
I, on the other hand, get along with everybody and think its important to maintain relationships. Some of these people have helped me when I needed help (e.g when I was a poor graduate student an older cousin lived in a nearby city and hosted me, took me out for meals etc.). Others I haven’t been helped by specifically but also don’t have a beef with. If I’m visiting a city that has a cousin, I’ll reach out and sometimes they reply, we hang out. I reply and wish people on their birthdays on our shared groups, send greetings on their kids’ graduation, etc.
Where do our parents (70s) stand in this? For the most part, they share sibling’s views. I find that as they age, they are increasingly isolated and don’t go anywhere or visit with anyone barring just one uncle’s family who live nearby. They hold resentments from many years ago, at least one from before I was born.
Now overall this should be ok, but sibling is increasingly starting to feel that I should “show loyalty” by cutting off contact with folks who have insulted my sibling. This would show that I value my immediate family more than the extended family. I have explained my perspective in different ways. I’ve talked about how I want my kids to have a connection with family beyond sibling’s kids. I’ve talked about how I benefited from various connections (friends and family) of my parents as I was growing up and I want to give back. Networking was important for me to find my job after I was laid off for months. One friend of my parents referred me to an internship opportunity which was really valuable to my future career when I was younger. I am also just a social person and gain a lot of happiness from having a wide circle of friends and acquaintances and socializing with them.
It may come to a situation where sibling forces me to choose and I will have to cut off contact with extended family members one by one. Worse, it may come to a situation where one of my kids unknowingly offends sibling and then we don’t have contact with sibling’s family. Sibling’s spouse is kind and lovely but stays out of all this.
What can I do here to prevent some of these bad outcomes? Needless to say, though I disagree with some of sibling’s opinions, I have a lot of love for sibling, their spouse and my little nieces and nephews.
I don’t understand why you are trying to convince your sibling in repeated conversations that you are right and they are wrong. Do they have some type of power over you that I’m not seeing here?
Just say “I’m not going to do that.” Then change the subject. Repeat as needed.
Why are you–an adult–allowing your brother to control you and determine who you connect with. This is very weird to me.
I think you’re justifying yourself and that’s not the right approach.
Let’s simplify this. Sibling has different standards for relationships than you do. Maybe she’s wrong, maybe she is reacting to something real.
That’s her business.
What she doesn’t have a right to do is to dictate your relationships with other people. You don’t owe it to her to “show loyalty” like this; your relationships are your relationships.
That’s what you explain. “Sis, I love you a lot, but my relationships with Emily and Steve have nothing to do with you.”
(I am concerned that your family might be too up in each other’s business.)
Your sibling is unreasonable and you can’t prevent bad outcomes, because you’ve probably got a bad outcome either way: you cut off extended family who is important to you, OR your sibling cuts you off. Without special circumstances of some kind, I think I’d probably tell the sibling, respectfully, that I won’t cut off extended family and let the sibling do what (s)he will, but your math may be different if your sibling controls access to a vulnerable parent, has a child with whom you think it is really important you maintain contact, etc.
I do think it’s worth keeping in mind that your sibling is unreasonable, and there’s no reason their unreasonable demands would stop here. Trying to satisfy them seems like a fool’s errand to me.
You don’t have to prove anything here. I have prickly family relations that are beyond my relationship with a sibling-in-law. I just don’t bring up those family members when I am in conversation with them. I don’t edit my life – I was at a shower last week- just names and titles that may be triggering to them -(instead of I was at NemesisName and ResentedRelative’s wedding shower)
Sibling has no hold over me. Except parents mostly will side with sibling I think because they have similar views? And I really love sibling’s kids and want my kids and I to maintain a lifelong relationship with them.
If I had to rephrase my whole post from sibling’s perspective, it would be thus:
My sister values socializing with random people, second cousins who we rarely see, people who haven’t raised one finger to help me or her, over her own sibling, me. I would do anything for her.
My decade younger cousin insulted and offended me, and I refused to engage with her until she apologized. But guess what? My sister went on talking to her like nothing happened. Why does she think it’s important to go kiss up to these random extended family members, even those who specifically were insulting to me over group chat? She always takes other people’s sides against me, gets together with them, even went all the way to another state to attend someone’s graduation when that person didn’t bother to come attend my baby shower. If I asked my sister to choose between me and these distant cousins, that she would even contemplate choosing them over me is mind boggling! I would never do that. I’d choose her every time. If she had a tiff with someone, I am team sister all the way.
Whyyyyyy are you telling your sibling you are seeing these people
I think we would all tell the author of that post that’s she’s way off base! You can’t control someone else. Loving someone means trusting them, not clinging to them.
You’re borrowing trouble, but I don’t blame you for wanting to have a script ready. “I respect your decisions about your relationships and I hope you can respect my decisions about mine.” Unless the person has done something truly egregious and dangerous, it’s not reasonable for her to expect you to cut off family members. “No, sis, I’m not cutting off aunt Mary because cousin Suzy didn’t invite you to her baby shower.”
If one of your kids offends her and she tries to cut them off, you do your best to mediate. If the kid is an adult at the time then you let them handle it. You obviously don’t cut off your own child because sister is mad they didn’t invite her to a baby shower.
Stop telling your sibling your business.
You should try to keep the peace with the sibling without cutting anyone else off for as long as possible, but it’s just a matter of time before sibling cuts you off for one thing or another, so I would stick with the cousins.
I am pretty small in the boob department, so gravity and symmetry haven’t been issues for me. I have a kid who is build on a different model, where one side is noticeably larger and at a different altitude than the other and even pigmented areas are differently sized. It’s just how she is. She doesn’t report back or shoulder pain. I just don’t want anyone, especially any boys, to ever make fun of her. Her pediatrician is shaped like me. If you are like my daughter, is there anything I need to know as a parent? I wished my mom had been more knowledgeable about body hair because I was always too embarrassed to swim (now held in check with laser and prior to that, waxing). I fear on this front I’m not the mom she needs for this one personal thing (which, if it’s a nothing, just tell me so I can put my mind at ease).
I’m like you. So no direct experience. But, my college BFF had very differently sized bre@sts – and apparently that one one of the things that tipped her pediatrician to figure out that she had scoliosis that required surgery to repair.
That is everything I know about that, so I am not trying to diagnose here. I’m saying that was one girl’s experience in case it matters to you.
I grew up to be uneven and after checking to make sure there wasn’t a medical reason, had an implant put in one side when I was about 25. It hadn’t bothered me much before then, but as I got older one side kept getting bigger so the difference started to become more noticeable. I was bathing suit shopping with my mom and started crying in the fitting room and she insisted right then and there that I go talk to a doctor (this sounds pushy but I actually really appreciated her validating my concerns in a practical manner!). They’re still more of fraternal twins than identical, but much closer than they used to be! I would follow her lead on this – it seems like younger people are much more accepting/comfortable with body differences than my generation and earlier. So it may not bother her. Or if it does, the right foundation garments might help disguise the issue until she’s old enough to consider something permanent.
How does she feel about swimming in general? Would she wear a Speedo (or similar no-nonsense swimsuit) that does not emphasize her chest and lets her enjoy being in or near the water?
Teens grow unpredictably. They will make friends and talk about EVERYTHING. Watch: Are You There G*_D it’s Me Margaret, or recall how the girlfriends are all talking about their bodies as a work in progress. When I was in middle school, I was aware of a rumor that someone stuffed their bra (in the 70s) so girls can be mean too.
Maybe take her to a bra fitting, if you and her are both up for that. Maybe go for yourself first to see if it’s a friendly-enough experience that you can answer some of her questions.
Girl what? Just buy her a bra
I’m large of boob but they’ve mostly been symmetrical. i think there are bras for different cup sizes – a quick google shows Third Love, Wacoal, and a few other hits. My only advice would be that the bigger boob needs real support, not just bralette stuff. she may also want to sleep in a bra if it’s more comfortable. but definitely make sure she knows how to check herself for lumps etc. most women i know who’ve had really disproportionate boobs have had breast reductions so they match.
I can’t tell from your post how old your daughter is, but my mom was a small B and I had a reduction at 17, so I likewise didn’t really have a sounding board as I was dealing with pretty massive changes to my body. My mom was just really supportive and once I started having back problems/couldn’t fit into any clothes, she made an appointment for me with a plastic surgeon so I could evaluate my options. The middle and high school guys were awful at that age and jumping from a B to a DD+ over one summer was a lot, but, if I’m honest, the attention at that age was also nice. I also grew up in the days before the internet was a helpful thing.
I think the best you can do is be supportive and try to find helpful resources to guide both of you. I’m sure there’s a ton online now and just be prepared for her to get a lot of attention from boys as she develops further. A reduction at 17 was the best decision I could have made and have never regretted it (and I also had one much bigger than the other).
She has been to a real bra store and wears the right bras and sports bras. Things for what happens without one. Swimsuits are sort of an issue because they don’t have enough support but don’t you wear a sports bra under a swim top or under a swim shirt. She isn’t dating yet but at some point, she will. I feel that no one wants a mom suggesting that something is wrong but I feel that this happened all of a sudden (vs gradually). Maybe it’s fine to just follow her lead and wait until she mentions it? I just feel like I have no one to really talk to and done want to say something that will be harmful to her (“doesn’t bother you that you aren’t symmetrical”). I just make sure she isn’t uncomfortable doing any sports or swimming.
Honeycloudz makes pads that are designed to even things out and can be worn in swimsuits, sports bras, etc. I wear them in my leotards on stage, and they are comfortable and natural-looking.
I can’t share my annoyance irl so I’m sharing it with you all instead. I hate it when people assume a high-achieving woman makes much less than she actually does. I came across this so much when I was dating that it became something of a misogyny litmus test.
A friend from my biglaw first year class (over 10 years ago) is getting divorced from her husband of just a couple of years. She left biglaw years ago to go in house and is currently at a very large company. She is fairly frugal, doesn’t flash her wealth, and doesn’t talk about how much she makes. Most of our friends are professionals but are not lawyers and are not making biglaw (or big in house) money.
Friend’s husband is a finance bro. Likes to throw money around. From what I can tell, he lives way beyond his means. I assume he has a ton of debt.
Our mutual friends ALL assume finance bro is making all the money. They have opinions about how much she should get in the divorce and act like finance bro would be charitable by giving her half. First, it’s not charity to give a spouse half, even if the marriage has been short. But also, she made that money! Based on how he spends money, she probably pays most of their bills!! It’s so disheartening to hear people assume she makes much less than he does. And I can’t correct them because I know she’s a private person and doesn’t want people to know how much she makes. But argh I’m annoyed and it’s making me rethink some of my friendships.
Ew. Right now people would rightfully assume that my husband (46) makes all the money. But what they don’t know is we’ve been married for over 20 years, I made all the money until we were 35. I more or less put him through grad school at 28. I got a massive bonus and exercised major options when my company went public before we had kids that enabled us to buy the house we have and for me to essentially “retire” (we have kids so I’m a mostly SAHM that works as a consultant like 40 hours/month to keep me entertained).
The assumption that women are always just taking these poor beleaguered men to the cleaners in a divorce drives me UP THE WALL.
Right??? In the friends’ defense (a little), they mostly think she deserves it for putting up with him. But like, no, she deserves it because it is HER money that SHE earned from HER job! And also she deserves something for putting up with him – namely to not be on the hook for whatever debt he ran up trying to impress people.
For those of you who have been to Iceland, what’s the weather like in August? Reading online now and seems like the wind can be very harsh. I was prepared to bring jacket and scarf and to dress in layers but is it too cold to be enjoyable? Going the last week so understand that it will be more “Fall” than Summer even for Iceland.
Did anyone’s parents keep a baby book or write letters to future you (when you were little)? My parents didn’t and neither did DH’s parents. I keep a baby book for our baby and periodically write letters to (future?) him as prompted by the baby book. DH thinks it’s silly and LO will never look at or care about this stuff.
I know you can’t KNOW whether a stranger will cherish these things in 20+ years. But for anyone whose parents did this stuff for them, do you like it? Is it cringe? Did you throw it away as soon as you were old enough to take it? DH’s mom passed before LO was born so I’m surprised that he has this attitude toward letters and such I’m not sure if his attitude about this is some complex form of grief or if he’s right and I’m just wasting my time doing all this.
I actually feel very bad about the fact that I didn’t really do baby books for my kids. I tried, but as a working mom, I was drowning in the day-to-day and archiving everything was not a high priority. My mom did beautiful books for all four of us, and I think it’s really special.
I mean, if it brings you joy then why not?
I was going through a box of things recently and found a birthday card from my grandma (who passed away 10 years ago) that just said “Happy Birthday, I miss you very much” that prompted full sobbing. My point is, you never know what will touch someone someday.
It sounds really sweet if you like it. I personally would hate it. My mother recently did one of those prompts (it was a (hugely invasive) gift) where you write your life story and the company prints copies for you, and gave me a copy. I don’t think I’ll touch it. It’s too close/personal, but maybe my grandkids will one day?