Thursday’s Workwear Report: Belle Isle Button-Front Short-Sleeve Cardigan
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
This sweet cardigan from Torrid looks so fresh and summery that I’d be tempted to take it out for a picnic lunch instead of a trip to the office. I love a short-sleeved cardigan for folks who run warm but still need to cover up a sleeveless blouse or dress. This cotton pointelle knit will feel breezy and cool, even when the temperature is creeping up.
Wear this with a light blouse and swingy skirt for maximum coolness and comfort.
The sweater is $69.90 at Torrid and comes in sizes equivalent to 10-30. It also comes in “whisper white.”
Treasure & Bond has an option in straight sizes that is $89.50 at Nordstrom.
Sales of note for 7/15:
- Nordstrom – The Anniversary Sale has started! Here's our big roundup of what to get first, as well as everything we've selected thus far.
- Ann Taylor – Semi-annual sale, 60% off sale and 40% off everything — readers love this blouse and I always love the variety of colors/textures for this jacket (it's a great separate)
- Banana Republic – Summer sale up to 60% off sale styles + extra 20% off
- The Fold – Up to 50% off, further markdowns
- J.Crew – 50% off select cashmere
- J.Crew Factory – 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off
- Lululemon – Summer sale!
- Me & Em – Sale! Up to 60% off (new lines just added)
- M.M.LaFleur – 25% off jardigans (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off on other items)
- Nordstrom Rack – Clear the rack, extra 25% off clearance! Nice selection of Vince, Veronica Beard, Reiss and Rag & Bone, a ton of affordable work dresses from Calvin Klein, Maggy London, Eliza J, and Donna Morgan
- Talbots – Red Door Sale! Prices start at $15
I love the look of the “Belle Isle” line from Torrid but their quality is so poor I sent back nearly everything from my last order.
Torrid is 100% just future garbage.
Does anyone have gift ideas for staying with a boyfriend’s parents for one night? They’re in their 80s and we’ve met once before. His dad is an avid reader so I was considering getting him a book (Erik Larson?) but Mom isn’t a reader and I’m struggling with something specific for her. Is there an easier way to do a more generic thank you gift for the couple?
Are you from a place with something notable? I’m from Virginia so always gave a bottle of Virginia wine.
+1 Also, someone once bought my parents Virginia peanuts and they became a house staple. I really think we all have this tendency to focus on the “perfect” gift when the best gifts are kind of generic.
this might feel cute but although VA vineyards are scenic I have yet to really enjoy the wine itself… ymmv depending on how much the recipient drinks.
Not a wine sn0b but I feel the same way.
I am a wine snob and love Virginia wines.
I’m a wine lover. Others might call me a snob but I wouldn’t. I like learning about wine. I’m happy to pick something off the wine list for the group. I think it’s sad when someone sticks to a particular wine from a particular mass market producer because they don’t want to learn.
I’d love to try Virginia wine! Especially a bottle someone was willing to chat with me about or explain why they liked it! Someone brought us ice wine once and it was very cool to learn about. There is just no way that everything being made in the region is bad.
true, but it can go into something being cooked, like a beef stock easily
I live in Virginia wine country so I might be biased, but we have excellent wineries and they are doing some pretty cool stuff. I’d suggest giving it more of a shot. Charlottesville wineries also have a lot going on.
Ha, I had the same thought. Please do not bring me Virginia wine!
Hugely dismissive of actual virginia wine and the hard work of our farmers.
Sorry if your only experience is with out unfortunate official grape, but a lot of wineries are doing a lot with shifting climate, natural fermentation, and growing the vines that work. Less chemistry and more farming:
I don’t love most of the Virginia wines I’ve had, but they do make excellent hard cider. Especially hopped cider – so good and not as sweet as cider tends to be.
And I think good hard cider (sorry, but Angry Orchard is not good) is something a lot of people haven’t had.
Albemarle Cider is a Virginia product and one of my favorite ciders!
I usually go with something that will get used up and go away…. my parents are that age and have downsized as well as selling a summer home, they have divested themselves of so much stuff that it feels weird to buy more. fancy cookies, hand soap, flowers, wine…
+1. I love flowers. I’ve also sent a fruit basket afterwards.
Agree and I lean something consumable like chocolate or other fancy snacks, especially if there’s something local to you that you could bring.
Yes! I would do flowers, cookies, or candies in this instance. Wine if you know they drink at home (my parents do not).
I’m of the opinion that a hostess gift should always be consumable, especially for people that age. Hopefully your boyfriend can offer guidance on their preferences, but if he can’t I’d get them a signature food or beverage item.
“signature food or beverage item from your local area” I meant to say..
Flowers
Unless you know them well, It’s actually quite difficult to find a good book for someone who reads a lot because they’ve probably already read everything by Erik Larson or whatever similar authors people tend to suggest. Just get food or drink or another consumable they like. Your boyfriend should be able to advise on this.
+1 I’m a big reader and I really don’t like receiving books. Odds are I’ve read it or know I don’t want to read it, and even for the small handful of books I loved so much I want to read them again, I don’t really have much desire to own them. I’d appreciate the gesture of course, but I donate all books I receive as gifts to the library.
+2 I loathe when people give me books and I love to read, it’s akin to buying someone something for their hobby, you will get it wrong. Coffee table books are a different story, but those are best for people you know well.
Jams or a breakfast gift basket. Or a local honey are always nice.
Flowers or chocolates, then send a thank-you note.
Consumables are the way to go here. I’d consider sending a breakfast basket ahead (like Wolferman’s but perhaps they have a better local source) and then you can all enjoy together, or they can enjoy the goodies after you leave.
I’d go with consumables but not alcohol – think chocolates, bonbons, favorite bakery – from your area. Bonus points if they come with a story – think it’s a small shop in your area that was on the Today show, the place that’s done all the cookies for your parties, or you went there on a date. It’s the act of sharing something from your life with them, not the item.
Food or flowers, as others have suggested. I think an ebook is too personal for a host gift.
any suggestions for very light weight pants that look like real pants and not pajamas?
I have and love the Beyond Yoga easy wide leg pants.
https://beyondyoga.com/products/easy-wide-leg-pant-nocturnal-nav
https://beyondyoga.com/products/easy-wide-leg-pant-nocturnal-navy-nn1263s?variant=43223421026403&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22980477091&gbraid=0AAAAADtUgqQ12Ed88eh2lIBOBYNM_KyUD&gclid=Cj0KCQjwguLSBhDLARIsAH-yPrH1_90d_RRf0nZX31IzCy83u-71s3zHLFE5JEUZyBfltndFGKH4icwaArr9EALw_wcB
Sorry – bad link
The Uniqlo “Smart” line of pants comes in a variety of leg styles and is a lightweight fabric, but looks like real pants. Caveat – they are polyester. I find them great for travel – comfy, a bit stretchy, don’t wrinkle in the luggage and can be easily washed in a hotel sink and air dried.
I love the Uniqlo nylon culottes. So light and flowy.
i have some from costco that are a very lightweight with second kind of fabric stripe going down the side for stretch.
i have some j.crew linen pants (they’re real sizing, so 16P not XLP) that look ok. linen pants with a zipper and button will probably look better.
I like the 5-pocket J.Crew linen blend pants this season. The fit is not shapeless like so many linen pants, and the seat does not look like the saggy, baggy elephant after all-day wear. I was in the machine and line dry and wear right off the line.
I like the Kut from the Kloth linen pants. They have an actual shape so they don’t look like PJs.
How often do you repaint your home interior? Not for color changes necessarily but for upkeep/freshness? I’m WFH for the foreseeable future due to a surgery recovery and I’m now blessed/cursed with observing all sorts of home imperfections that are just staring at me day after day. I saw them before, but now its on blast given I’m here 24/7 going on 10 days and counting. Among the many imperfections, it feels like we just need a full repainting of high traffic rooms/halls, which is admittedly most of the 2500 SF house. We’d likely hire out for it.
I’ve put off things like updating tired/lightly stained but reasonably presentable furniture while the kids are young but the nicks, dings, scuff marks, and in some cases cracking on walls (1960s home – just normal stuff..) is bugging me. We’ve been in the house for 7 years, and are a family of 4 w/ an 8 and 2.5 year old. We had a large dog until recently, and we will at some point within likely 12 mos get another dog.
I guess, is it worth spending the money on what’s inevitably going to become worn out again… is the argument in my head right now. How do others approach? If I wait 1-2 years, the kids are that much older and a new dog is less of a puppy. I should add we’ve spent a lot on other updates (new roof, hvac, plumbing, exterior repaint, insulation, leaking skylights etc) but have neglected some of this more “optional” cosmetic stuff.
Whenever it needs it, I am a big believer in having a lovely home and regularly refresh, repaint, etc.
I will add, I’ve done little touch ups but it never seems to match even if its from the same can. The existing wall paint is inevitably dirtier so the “touch up” stands out, so I feel like all or nothing is the requisite strategy at this point.
Yeah, I think I’d repaint in this case!
That’s because touchups do not work, paint fades and the same can achieves nothing. Definitely repaint. I have dogs and they don’t have any impact on the walls, and even if they did, I just don’t believe in having a mess because of kids or pets. They just mean you repaint more often, not less.
Same with cleaning. Pets and kids create dirt and mess. You clean it up! (Or have the kids help when they’re old enough.) I have two cats, which means that I have to comfortable with vacuuming more often.
Turn the kids loose with some Magic Erasers and see if that doesn’t take care of enough scuffs and whatnot to satisfy. A good cleaning can make a huge difference, even on painted walls.
magic erasers are basically sanding the wall — it affects the sheet and in some lights / times of day you can definitely see it
SHEEN not sheet
Be VERY careful with magic erasers on painted surfaces!
Start with just plain old dish soap.
Magic Erasers can be good when used sparingly but def use them only on more matte finishes.
Depends on the quality and durability of the paint job. RIP Ralph Lauren paints. My last paint job at the house I did myself in 2010 and it still looks fab. I’ve given all the walls and trim a good wash a couple of times in the intervening years. If things look somehow not fresh and you are not interested in changing colors, I suggest a good wash before you move onto repainting.
I washed my trim in a previous house and a friend’s mother thought I’d repainted. When I said I hadn’t she low key argued with me. I guess it really refreshed the look.
+1 I think a professional wash normally does the job if you don’t want to change colors.
We’ve been in our house 11 years (with kids and a small dog) and haven’t repainted. When I was younger I lived in some apartments where they repainted between every tenant and it was very gross to me – there were so many layers of paint they were thick and peeling off, so I’m sort of instinctually against repainting except to change color. We’re probably overdue for a wash though.
A professional wash would be super! I have to admit my wash jobs have been me with ladders, a sponge for the trim or a sponge mop for the walls, and a bucket of hot water with just a dab of ivory liquid soap.
Ralph Lauren paint colors were SO good.
And they had a consistency like heavy cream, applied evenly and leveled nicely, such that a DIY project could look like a pro job.
I like to do my own painting. I can’t remember exactly, but either PPG manufactured RL to RL specs, or they shared a manufacturer. PPG is not quite as good but it’s as close to RL as I can find on the market these days. Good coverage, fairly easy to apply, levels nicely.
Have you tried Benjamin Moore Aura? It goes on beautifully, thick like cream.
Thanks for the recommendation!
So funny, I was thinking of posting this exact question today, So no real answers, but we’ve been in our home three years and I do touch ups of scuffs, etc. maybe every 6 months or so, but I’ve also been thinking that in another year or two, the house could benefit from overall a fresh coat of paint. So I think if you’ve been in your house 7 years and have a dog, you’ve probably earned it. If you get it done with nice paint, it will also show less wear and tear/can be cleaned which will buy you more time in the future.
If I’m refreshing and not changing the color, not super frequently? Our living room paint job from 2011 still looks really good overall, though there are a few minor spots of wear that could use some attention.
By comparison, I repainted our mudroom maybe five years ago and I’ve noticed lately that it could use a refresh. That room is small and gets used HARD.
Bedrooms tend to get painted more often (maybe every 5 years or so?) because I like to change colors.
Bathrooms: I hate painting them and will do literally anything to avoid it! The next time we need to paint, I will hire out bathroom painting.
I HATE painting. Hate hate hate it – all the prep, the mess, the cleanup, etc.
However fresh paint makes a HUGE difference. Right now I’m trying to set extra cash aside so I can pay someone to do our whole place (2bd townhome).
FYI, I was quoted $16K-18K to paint 2,200 square feet (interior only). Dropping bathrooms (2.5), master bedroom, and ceilings from the quote brought the price below $7000. VHCOL area.
My brother and his wife put off all kinds of upkeep while their kids were young because things would just get messed up again, but wow their house was depressing. Dingy paint with lots of scuffs and stains, nail pops, a family room sectional so beat up that you could barely sit on it. They could afford to take care of these things, but they didn’t. The kids are grown and they have done everything – paint, replaced furniture, hang more art – and I swear they have never seemed happier. Don’t put off making your habitat nicer if it’s something you are able to afford and schedule!
Man, that’s kind of sad and also sends a weird message to the now-grown kids. It’s one thing if you can’t afford it, and it’s another to defer all maintenance and creature comforts. To each his own, but I don’t live that way. I like having a maintained home, and I think my kids have learned the value of taking care of the place we live.
I do touch ups every six months or so. If it’s an area that I need to touch up a lot or I need to patch the sheet rock, I’ll paint the whole section about every few years (think the stair walls/ hallways). I use Sherwin Williams Pro-Mar 200 in eggshell which has been fairly ok with blending in the touch ups.
When you repaint, think seriously about also having the ceilings painted. They have probably not been painted since the house was built, and you will probably be shocked at the difference it makes.
And I am in favor of doing improvements you can afford now, so you all have a chance to enjoy them for as long as possible. I’ve never completed a home improvement project and thought, “You know, I should have waited on this one.”
And think about maybe not going with some standard ceiling color. I favor a pale blue so light it looks white in most lights. You can also go with your wall and/or trim color but at a fractional percentage of the pigmentation.
Your last statement is so true. Also sitting on a $40k quote to renovate a bathroom that’s really needed… which we can afford. But I just get so gun shy to do it!
I got quoted $85,000 for a guest bath remodel with nothing remarkable about it (ie no fancy marble, etc.). I almost died. We did not proceed, because that is insane and we are not even in a high cost of living area …. I need a kitchen refresh and I’m terrified to even look into costs.
Painting I have DIY’d many times and it wasn’t bad. I really like the Sherwin Williams Emerald paint. It goes on so smoothly and regularly goes on sale for 30% off.
I have currently been approaching non-essential maintenance/repairs with “Would I need to do this to sell my house?” If the answer is yes, then I might as well do it now and enjoy it while I live in the house.
For paint– we painted our house when we moved in, and to save money, we did not paint ceilings or trim. This was an awful idea. The previous owner had DIY painted the entire house during Covid and had left random paint marks on the ceilings and trim… which we had not noticed before the house was painted. The trim also is very worn in certain rooms, which wasn’t obvious until we had a fresh paint job and now just looks sad.
Teen asks me, so I ask you all:
If your high school or college had a convocation event at the start of school, what did you wear? She has a Lilly shift that should work (in a Carolina) but keeps pulling up bridesmaid type dresses, which doesn’t seem right. She will be a junior at a new school and just knows two older boys.
lily should work. otherwise short and ruffly or long and flowy. definitely not a formal occasion. could also wear flowy pants and cute vest top….
Go online and see if she can find photos from a prior convocation at her specific school.
I’ve tried this before for conventions and I swear it is never helpful. And this IMO is exactly what the internet should excel at. Although I get why schools may not post a lot of crowd shots of events due to needing photo releases from families.
Well, here in Seattle, the answer is that you’d wear whatever you’d wear any other day of the year. People don’t really dress up for a convocation. The East Coast and South are different, and so it really does make sense to look for examples from your region.
I’m generally not a huge fan of FB but is there a parents group you can find for your school and post the question?
What time of day is the event?
My gut tells me it will be a lot of white sundresses and hill house inspired prairie dresses. I don’t know why. If young women still wear Lily anywhere, it is in the south, right? My Pennsylvania college did this and it was such a surprise to me. This was before online shopping and in the middle of nowhere. I’m sure I just wore a sundress.
yes this.
I think the Lilly should work.
The Lilly option sounds perfect.
They had us wear the matching college t-shirts we got during orientation. Maybe that’s unusual lol.
Yeah, mine was a few decades ago in rural New England, but attire was more along the lines of shorts and fleece than any kind of dress. Definitely not an event that people dressed up for, though I get that the South is different and people care more about always being camera ready now.
I think that that is definitely a thing now. We didn’t have the shopping options PLUS we were invisible. If someone took a picture (rare), it wasn’t going to be on the internet in perpetuity. You could borrow a meh dress from a friend just to have something different for a change and it was fine. Now, everything is so dang curated that I see even confident teens (girls usually) wanting to ace something that they know very little about (things like this, sorority rush, rush “resumes”, etc.). The reels and tik toks don’t help; they just feed it.
I teach undergrads and we have a fall convocation — overwhelmingly, the girls wear sundresses of some sort, and the boys wear button downs, khakis, and sometimes a tie. Think somewhere between “casual summer wedding” and “summer church event.”
PSA for everyone looking for level up, c-suite clothes (there have been a few posts lately about it). Altuzzara is having a pretty big sale right now, with lots of tops around the $300-ish mark. Fits true to size, but if you don’t skip arm day and are between sizes, go with the bigger size.
I just clicked through and see a 100% polyester top marked down from $995 to the 300s. I can’t stomach that price for a synthetic top!!
Totally agree. $300 for a material that’s going to make you smell like a week old gym sock.
I’m looking for advice on being a wfh mom. My youngest got into universal pre k this year and for some reason we got the idea that her 9-2 schedule was fine. Friends, it wasn’t. Now that she’s in camp from 8- 430 with bus service I’m still kind of reeling from how crazy stressful it was. But it’s not perfect because my older child refused all day camp and is loafing around and or doing high maintenance pick up drop off camps.
I’ve never felt so absolutely done with my kids. I usually love them and want them around. I have it in my head that I want childcare from 8-430 for the coming school year. My older kid usually comes home around four but I kind of want him gone longer too. Am I being irrational? Realistically I can work a bit while they’re home but I feel so burnt out I kind of want them gone. I want to take a proper lunch hour and exercise or see friends instead of working through it. In the past I’ve hired babysitters to watch them while I work at home but I want them OUT OF MY HOUSE! After care is affordable but the kids get bored and cranky and would rather be home, plus picking them up is a huge pain in the butt. My husband is home a few days a week but he is the primary breadwinner and his schedule gets prioritized i cant count on him for pickup even when he’s home.
it sounds like you really need aftercare. My kid complains about it but actually likes it fine. having your kids cared for from 8-4:30 is not an irrational desire, especially if you work. if aftercare pickup is the issue, could your husband do half (or all) of it?
Yeah I think I will just tell them they need to do it. Wfh has perks but I feel like it turned me into a doormat for my family and messed up my nervous system. I’m also taking to my husband about getting the kid into another camp. This idea that he doesn’t need to go is breaking me. Fine if my husband wants to take those two weeks and off and get him OUT of the house from 8-430. Not fine that no camp was the plan.
WFH with kids underfoot is straight-up hard. Even if they’re older. I would 100 percent use aftercare and not feel guilty about it, especially if your DH isn’t willing or able to share the load.
It sounds like his job needs to be prioritized. I have the same dynamic in my marriage so I can just answer for the OP that no, he cannot be counted on to do this when high level calls can get scheduled whenever. At least for me, I signed on to this dynamic and would not do a last-minute flip. She needs to hire help.
+1. We also have this set-up (and it works for us! I am happy to have my job in the back seat!), and I could not expect my husband to do pick up at 4:30pm. OP should try another afternoon babysitter or sign the kids up for aftercare.
My kids go to aftercare on-site at their elementary school. I usually pick them up around 4:45/5. They seem happy there. It helps they have friends there, too. It sounds like your kids just need to understand it’s not a choice – parents have to work, so they need to be at school or camp until 4:30 or 5 or whatever.
Maybe I’m a mean parent, but I don’t have much tolerance for “I don’t like it” or “I’m bored” complaints about aftercare. Child care has been a necessity in order for me to do and keep my job. Unless there is truly a health or safety issue, sorry you’re bored. You have to do it anyway.
Thanks I’m the op. Honestly when I was in an office I had zero guilt about child care. I had 12 hours a day for my older one- usually didn’t use it but I would hit the gym before pickup some days. My kids have a big age gap and the older one is so resilient and easy. The younger one is so sad and fragile I think I just hesitate too much and wfh is amazing but also brings in guilt.
Children need a lot more than health and safety developmentally. But it’s hard to imagine what kind of aftercare environment doesn’t offer the opportunity to draw, read, study, watch engaging media, or actively play. I’d want to find out why they don’t like it and teach them to troubleshoot if there isn’t some kind of objective neglect going on.
Of course, but every aftercare program I’ve encountered offers plenty of chances to draw, read, be active, work on homework, etc. So I’m starting with that as a baseline.
What you’ll learn is “the reason they don’t like it” is not based on anything except “I don’t want to, and I doubt you can make me.”
Tbh, half of the kids complaining about boredom in aftercare never learned how to play independently without a screen sedating them or a parent directing their activities.
Bingo!
Can’t wait for the follow up post in ten years about how your teens don’t confide in you or in twenty years about how your twenty somethings only call home on holidays.
My kids do aftercare but on wfh days I try to pick up a little bit earlier around 4:30 instead of 5/5:30 when I’m in the office. Sometimes 4 on Fridays. My oldest started complaining about it last year, but she’s not old enough to be on her own and not need something from me. It’s much more stressful trying to work and have kids home. I’ve never been able to do it without tv babysitting them for most of the day. I feel their time with other kids and playtime is better than watching tv by themselves, but I know other parents who feel differently or cannot afford full time aftercare during the year, so we are fortunate to have the option.
I get that aftercare isn’t anyone’s favorite thing, but if it’s necessary for your work schedule and/or sanity, it’s well worth the money, IMO. You’re not talking about sending your kids away forever – just to cover your working hours, which is what the majority of parents who work do.
For me, at least, it is impossible for me to get quality work done with little (i.e. under about 10) kids in the house between noise and someone inevitably needing something (which is normal for littles). I WFH with them there only if someone is sick.
My gut from how you’re framing this is that this is more of a marriage + job issue than it is a childcare issue. You’re describing burnout and stress and a desire for a break, not massive behavioral issues. So I would start by trying to solve for getting the things you want into your existing schedule, but *not* into the hours you’re supposed to be working.
When you say your husband is home only a few days a week, do you mean he’s traveling something like 60-70% of the time? Working out before the kids go off to care and seeing friends after he is home from work are very much options for you otherwise, and I think that would alleviate a lot of this stress by removing the sense that you’re trying to cram a full time job AND self care into five hours a day.
I disagree. This sounds 100% like a childcare issue.
+1
Thanks this is insightful and it’s exactly my problem!!! My husband doesn’t travel but his commute means he’s not home until 730 or 8 most nights. I have used that time for the gym but it’s not ideal for him or me. My mood suffers if I’m cooped up until then and I kind of run out the door as he walks in or I’m more apt to skip it. If I cant use part of my workday or that late time I’m stuck with the morning which is a struggle too because then I’m in bed earlier than my ten year old. Each of these is a reasonable solution; I just need to pick the particular trade offs I’m willing to make. Another solution might be to preserve the midday workout but utilize aftercare until closer to 6. I realize this is personal but I welcome any working mom anecdotes.
This is why I hate WFH. It only works with an empty house.
This is a childcare issue, not a WFH issue. It’s not like the stress of pick-up times are easier when you add in a long car commute, often in the opposite direction.
I think I’m still having low-key PTSD from living through WFH during COVID (our schools were closed for a long time). An 8-hour work day took about 15 hours to attain with all of the stopping and starting. And now, I don’t even want my spouse around if I am working. I flee to work gladly where no one can find me or ask me a question. Just let me work.
+1. I think that’s what did it for me, too. I WFH one day a week, and I love it during the school year. I like it a lot less in the summer. And if my DH happens to schedule his own WFH day on mine, I am low-key annoyed. I want my peace and space.
Summers are the worst. Two in diapers was easier because every day was the same at daycare. Summer camp: every week is different. So much stuff to back that is not that far off the production, cleaning, and packing cycle from pumping.
I guess this is where people get nannies, but we tried and finding a legal driver for just the summer or just 20 hours a week that we could pay above board has been not great. College kids have flaked at the last minute and people really do this while looking for FT gigs. IDK how health care and other in-person jobs do it. Just keep a FT person on staff because you otherwise can’t get someone?
Op here. I think I’m about to actually jump out of my skin because I just don’t want anyone home. I spent the weekend traveling to a family wedding with my mom and I LOVE her but for love of god I need everyone to leave this house. So that is me dramatically saying I hear you!
Where messed up with summer camp was making it about my ten year olds interest and desires instead of actual childcare. I should have just sent him to the extremely high end all- day camp with his sister instead of a patchwork of sports camps that served his niche interests. So he’d have been bored at the kind of camp other kids would dream of going to? With tons of swim, slides, sports and more ice pops than anyone needs? Fine.
of course normal childhood needs are a PITA and interruption when you are actually trying to focus and work. This is why most companies require you to have full time childcare when WFH!
What would you do after school if you worked outside of your home? If you would send them to aftercare in that instance then I think it makes sense to do the same while you WFH.
How can your older child refuse day camp? You are the parent.
Most employers require full-time child care for younger kids while a parent is WFH. It would not fly anywhere I’ve ever worked to go without aftercare.
Oof it’s really hard. Is a bus a possibility? That would buy you a bit more time.
We dropped aftercare for my 8 year old in January – I was on research leave so not on campus, and moved in April and he can walk home himself now. We told him he could skip aftercare as long as he was prepared to entertain himself but if he was making my work life much more stressful (my husband is on the phone most of the day, so it falls on me), that would change.
I need everyone’s best tips for DH and me as he is having surgery and an inpatient stay next week. It will be minimally-invasive surgery, but he’ll have a drain coming out his side (I think) for a few days. I work in healthcare, but on the billing & administration side, so I don’t know what will make his stay more comfortable.
Have a 6ft, 8ft, and 10ft charging cable for his devices in your bag. You never know how long he’s going to need, or you will need as you are sitting with him in the room.
This is so smart, thank you!
Is it a chest tube drain? I had one and it was pretty miserable. I’m a sleep thrasher, which absolutely does not work with a chest tube drain. Lots of pillows shoved in various places around my body to put me in a good sleep position and keep me there was important. Otherwise, for waking hours, distractions – books, games, movies, etc – to keep one’s mind off pain and how weird it feels. Also, if it is a chest tube drain he can expect pain at that location for months to come and that is normal. No one told me that, until I went to my PCP a couple of months later thinking that something was dreadfully wrong, and he told me to expect pain in the location of the removed drain for 9 – 11 months.
That’s really helpful to know, thank you. He has stage 1 lung cancer, and will have a wedge of lung removed. May I ask how long the tube was in? I feel like I have no idea what to expect, and I hate that. Also, were you able to wear real clothes when the tube was in, or just your hospital gown?
I went home with mine. I had most of my left lung and some lymph nodes removed due to a malignant neuroendocrine tumor in the lung. I don’t remember how long I was supposed to have the drain but it was more than just a few days. My chest tube drain device malfunctioned and as a result was removed prior to the expected end date. My then husband and I made an hour and a half drive to a Labor Day holiday closed, dark and deserted hospital clinic where the PA who met us there just yanked it out and stitched up the hole. It was very weird.
While I was home with the drain, it was fairly painful (note that I do not take pain killers because they knock me out, ymmv with appropriate medication) and felt annoyingly awkward. My device was a corrugated hose out of my back to a small tote bag sized, hard bodied device. They referred to it as a “cartridge”, and it had to be emptied every now and then. I had to sit and sleep such that the hose had a good downward path to the cartridge and the cartridge was significantly lower than my body. In other words, it was gravity drained and you have to be mindful of that. I went and saw my PCP when the location were the hose had gone into my body was hurting significantly months after the hose had been removed. My PCP (a really old guy who as a small town doc used to some surgeries back in the day) said that he figured anyone he had ever put a drain in was probably hating him for months afterward. The pain from mine faded gradually over time, finally mostly pain free at about 10 months. It occasionally pained me a little bit, off and on, for several years.
This was in 2018. It doesn’t hurt anymore and I am cancer free. I wish your husband the best. I’d also say this is a really tough surgery to recover from. I’ve had three joint replacements that were comparatively an absolute walk in the park. I think the general anesthesia that they have to do for this kind of surgery is a very deep anesthesia. I had brain fog for a while afterwards to the extent that I was struggling at work (attorney). It was a hard physical recovery as well. I didn’t feel genuinely good until about a year later. I was 54 at the time of the surgery and pretty healthy otherwise going into it.
Forgot to answer you: I was able to wear regular, loose clothing with the drain in.
Here’s a question:
My grandfather went to the ER to rule out a stroke when he was having symptoms. No stroke, which is great, but the ER doctor who had never seen him before added a dementia diagnosis to his chart, which means that all medical people now treat him as legally incompetent and want me (his POA) to be involved in his care. In the intervening year, he has gone to a lengthy visit with a neurologist who was shocked that he had been labeled with this and disagreed with it. The label is still in his medical records and pops up when new providers come into his orbit. I can’t see what they see, and the neurologist must not use the same charting software (and I’m not sure that her practice would even issue a “he does not have dementia” letter a year later and if it would do the trick).
Luckily, he had a durable POA in place before all this happened, but it’s such a mess. And really distressing to him when people won’t deal with him directly.
[Why does this not happen to aging politicians?????]
This is a huge downside to electronic medical records, because one bad diagnosis can live on forever in the problem list. If your grandfather has a PCP, you could present the visit note from the neurologist and ask that the dementia diagnosis be removed from the problem list. The neurologist doesn’t have to write anything new, you just need to get a copy of the medical record.
My dad went through something similar when someone added a congestive heart failure diagnosis to his chart, even though he doesn’t have CHF. It took 2 years to get a cardiologist to remove it, but he did get it taken off.
The PA at my aunt’s assisted living facility diagnosed her with congestive heart failure based solely on her stating that she liked to wear compression socks. He ignored the fact that she has dementia, is an unreliable narrator (which we had informed him about 37,000 times), and had absolutely no symptoms of CHF. He didn’t love me calling to tell him how to do his job but you simply have to with lazy clinicians.
I miss soap operas. We used to fight for the lounge TV to get ours up between classes but I could follow along with the others. And every 6 months, I could watch my nana’s shows with her. You didn’t miss much. I envy writers who can sustain such slow plotting. It was sweet and communal. What is there now that is similar?
Days of Our Lives, Cruise of Deception
Guiding Light was huge during my formative middle school years :-D
Jack and Jennifer were my favorite couple!
I feel like with all that Aramid drama, they would have been RFK JR MAHA people now.
OTOH, how did they now know that that was DiMera spelled backwards?
I know this sounds weird, but I miss the communal nature of comforting TV shows. Now everybody is on a different timeline, streaming their own thing. Plus the sheer number of shows means everything is more fragmented.
100 p agree.
My husband dvr’ed the 3 episodes of General Hospital that John Oliver guested on and I was honestly able to pick up a lot of it even though I haven’t seen an episode in 25 years!
I feel like this is what draws a lot of people to shows from countries that still make this kind of television. But it’s so opt in that the communal aspect is hit or miss!
My parents watched All My Children for decades, they would record it on a VHS tape (eventually DVR) so they could watch after work. Me and my sister used character names for playing with dolls (Bianca and Kendall, specifically). Loved Jesse McCartney as JR.
My dad always WFH and I’m convinced it was because he loved his lunchtime All My Children.
A dear immigrant friend of mine needs help with her English speech and accent. She’s taken a zillion English and composition courses at the community college, so she can read and write beautifully. But the problem is really that her accent is too heavy for her to be readily understood by others (even I have to ask her to repeat herself sometimes). The community college doesn’t have conversation courses. What kind of class or professional should we look for to help her with English speaking? A private tutor of some kind? Thanks for your help.
I think “accent reduction coach” might be the search term.
My library offers several free language services, including opportunities to practice conversation 1:1 with volunteers.
Maybe an off-the-wall suggestion, but if it’s just improving an accent rather than comprehension, what about a dialect coach for actors?
A local store has a good deal on these exact pants. Think this is a good fall buy? I have enough tops that would coordinate with the color, but my track record with wearing colorful pants is hit or miss.
https://evereve.com/products/kelsey-jean-paprika?variant=44906511827109&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=OG_SEM_NB_GOOG_SHOP_PMAX_ALL_Denim&utm_content=23669584547||&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23664170805&gbraid=0AAAAACzR_aap6yNvLaBrYDn4aWUGCE0dV&gclid=Cj0KCQjwguLSBhDLARIsAH-yPrFvcbzST9CZwwMEOx99M_ZvjP0fO3pr_j4Sn1JyMrp2hIdEX4Eck5kaAlfVEALw_wcB
What bottoms are people wearing to the gym this summer? I prefer not to wear shorts, but my normal leggings feel dated and constrictive. I think I’m looking for a straight or wide leg, lightweight pant that doesn’t look like regular street clothes. I lift, do yoga, and take a weekly hip hop class, and I’d love something that would work for all of those activities. Any suggestions?