Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Below-Knee Dropped-Back Pleated Skirt
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I’ve always loved Thom Browne’s slightly quirky, collegiate style. This skirt is a slightly more avant-garde version of my high school field hockey kilt, but I think it might work for the office if it were styled very conservatively.
I would pair this with a turtleneck, tights, and loafers for a slightly cooler version of a school uniform.
The skirt is $1,590 at Bloomingdale’s and comes in sizes 2-10.
Sales of note for 7/19:
- Nordstrom – The Anniversary Sale has started! Here's our big roundup of the best workwear, as well as everything we've selected thus far. Don't forget to check to see if their daily beauty deal is a good one for you – e.g., 7/23 Lancome; 7/24 YSL; 7/29 up to 40% off select lip products; 7/31 Bobbi Brown; 8/1 Jo Malone
- Ann Taylor – Semi-annual sale, 60% off sale and 40% off everything — readers love this blouse and I always love the variety of colors/textures for this jacket (it's a great separate)
- Banana Republic – Summer sale up to 60% off sale styles + extra 20% off
- The Fold – Up to 50% off, further markdowns
- J.Crew – 50% off select cashmere
- J.Crew Factory – 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off
- Lululemon – Summer sale!
- Me & Em – Sale! Up to 60% off (new lines just added)
- M.M.LaFleur – 25% off jardigans (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off on other items)
- Nordstrom Rack – Clear the rack, extra 25% off clearance! Nice selection of Vince, Veronica Beard, Reiss and Rag & Bone, a ton of affordable work dresses from Calvin Klein, Maggy London, Eliza J, and Donna Morgan
- Talbots – Red Door Sale! Prices start at $15
- Theory – End of season sale is on!
If anyone is interested in the Abundance discourse, the podcast Diabolical Lies has a multi-hour podcast on the subject that I found fascinating over the weekend.
I’ve never heard of this podcast—how was this episode interesting?
Does anyone have a drugstore (or otherwise widely available) nail polish remover that actually can remove a salon pedicure?
Is it a gel pedicure? I’ve never had a problem removing polish with any old nail polish remover.
Plain acetone is my go-to for removing normal nail polish. I apply cuticle oil before and after to minimize the drying effect.
+1
the only one that works is pure acetone.
Was it a gel pedicure?
100% acetone from anywhere, assuming it’s regular polish, just thicker / sturdier than your average DIY.
I bought pure acetone remover at Five Below.
Assuming it’s not gel – the cheap acetone, generally hidden on the bottom shelf, typically a pastel easter color. Do not be distracted by anything that looks like the packaging was updated after say 1985.
+1 – for best results also grab cotton balls. Soak the cotton balls in the acetone and then secure them to your fingers/toes with a tin foil cap. Let it soak for at least 10-15 minutes before trying to remove it.
If it is a gel pedicure, google videos of how to get that off at home. You also might be better off just going and getting it removed.
Use a file to file off the top layer of polish, it will make it easier to remove the rest with acetone.
OP here. Thank you for the great suggestions. It’s just a regular pedicure, but my current remover isn’t cutting it. I thought there must be some secret remover that people are using. I will go the full acetone route!
Many topcoats these days are way more durable and long-lasting. I’ve found they really need the acetone to cut through that first layer, even with regular polish.
If your NP remover is old, it also seems to lose its effectiveness after it’s been sitting for a while. Maybe you just need a new bottle.
If you know people in your life who have started using a CPAP, how old were they when they started? And does anyone hate it or find it not to be helpful? I only know people who love it or find it positively life-changing, to the point of camping and traveling with it. A loved one has been recommended to use it and IMO should try it at least, but is visually put off.
My dad started using one in his late 50s, I want to say? It’s not really something you do for fun. Most people who are prescribed them have sleep apnea and that puts a lot of stress on your heart. So yes the machine is ugly but that’s not the point.
A good family friend uses one (were traveling together next month!) and he accepts it as a necessary evil because he’s really messed up his body from lifestyle decisions. He’s getting healthy and the motivation is being able to sleep without the CPAP.
I was on a rafting trip a few years ago and three men on the trip used CPAPs and all three spent their own money on battery packs to make sure they could take them on the river. If you need it, you need it.
My husband started using it around age 60 after snoring for decades. He was very opposed to it, he didn’t believe he could get used to it, but once the doctor showed him how serious his condition was, he made the effort and has been using it for around 2 years. He now doesn’t give it a second thought, travels with it, cleans it, and the only time he skips it is if he has a sinus or respiratory infection because it’s uncomfortable then.
Adding that the sleep study and other tests provide objective data which might be convincing. It’s not just a question of “no one is bothered by my snoring”.
An uncle started using one in his late fifties, like, 5 years ago? And reports much improved sleep. He was a smoker who stopped 15 years ago, and is obese. He does travel with it, complains it’s bulky, but loves it. He also didn’t think he needed it, but his wife made it a condition to keep sharing a bed, because his snoring and jolting gasping for air kept her from sleeping, now she sees the low noise as a white noise machine.
My father started using one in his 60s and does not skip using it. He felt better right away after getting a good, peaceful night’s sleep for the first time in ages.
I suspect my husband needs one based on his gasping, snoring, snorting all night every night. He knows generally how dangerous and stressful sleep apnea is on the hear, but hasn’t been ready to admit that it applies to him. It is going to take his doctor finding out about it to convince him to use one.
Ah, yes, the sound of some being murdered next to you.
I told my husband his choices were either to address the snoring/gasping/snorting or find another bedroom to sleep in. The CPAP is at least continuous white noise and does help tremendously.
Do people not get tangled up in the hoses? I’m a stomach and side sleeper who flips from side to side, but bed partner is side and back sleeper who has added side snoring to the mix (back snoring was always there).
Virginia Sole-Smith had a series on her (used to be substack, now patreon) blog about getting and using a CPAP, talking about both the pros and cons.
I have a friend who started using one around age 36-37 and loves it. Yeah it’s not cute but it’s worth it to get a good night sleep. She is single, but has a fabulous sense of humor and just owns it when it comes to dating. She travels with it. I’ve shared a bed with her and it really does reduce snoring. The only other person I know who uses one is a man in his 50s (no clue how long he’s been using it) and he travels with it.
my friend was just telling me about some dental thing that’s like a nightguard/retainer that works as a CPAP – usually not covered by insurance and $3k+ but she said it changed her husband’s life. everyone i know who happily uses a CPAP has done a LOT of trying out different devices and attachments etc to find a system they like.
A homeoblock! I’d really like to get one of these.
There are companies that make this for a lot less through the mail, FYI.
My husband was prescribed one following a mild sleep apnea diagnosis. He tried, really tried, and just could not use it. He felt he was being suffocated and after two weeks gave up. He instead now wears a mandibular advancement device that has 100% solved his snoring issue and for the first time in 20 years, we can sleep comfortably in the same bed. I don’t think these devices work for everyone, but I’m throwing it out there because I’d never heard of them and for him, it’s made a huge difference in sleep quality.
I have two close friends who were each in their early 40s when they started. Each says it’s been life-changing for her.
BFF started wearing one around 38-39 and says it was life-changing. Maybe slightly annoying to travel with, but she brought it on our Vegas trip no problem. And, I didn’t notice the noise when sleeping in our shared room.
Spouse was prescribed a CPAP ~6 years ago. Was consistent at the outset, but didn’t see a lot of immediate benefit so compliance dropped off. Got a script for Zepbound about a year ago and the snoring stopped after the first month on it.
Yep, my husband went from needing a CPAP for apnea until he lost 60lbs on zepbound.
If they won’t use a CPAP, some people qualify for an Inspire device (https://www.inspiresleep.com). It’s not necessarily CPAP or nothing.
My father started using one ~81. He went from sounding drunk and incoherent in the evening (because he was so exhausted) to sounding like himself. 10/10 recommend if needed!
I think they are a scam.
this is hilarious
like yes, my husband’s inability to breathe overnight is a scam, you got us there. Big CPAP is luring people in left and right. lol
I know a handful of men who in their 50s were diagnosed with sleep apnea and got a CPAP. Their wives are initially much more enthusiastic about it, and if they keep up with it consistently for a couple of weeks and get used to it, they start to understand the benefits and get independent motivation to use it. If they never actually use it consistently then they never see any real benefits. It is typically larger guys, though their actual health runs the gamut.
Does anyone have a card holder iPhone case that they love? I had one like this: https://www.amazon.com/WeLoveCase-iPhone-Shockproof-Protection-Protective/dp/B09BV3Q5Y8 for my old phone, and it was really great. Held up to drops, held my credit card and id, propped my phone up to read, and the mirror was surprisingly handy. But I can’t seem to find one like it for my new I-phone 17, and the ones I’ve tried haven’t worked out nearly as well. Suggestions? I don’t mind if it means I can’t use the external charger, but I have to be able to securely carry at least 2 cards and prop it up to read, in a single unit (not the kind that sticks on the back) that isn’t bulky.
Yes, I love wallicases
I have one for my iPhone 17 pro from the brand “smartish” – I’ve had one for the last ten years or so with various phones and they’ve held up great.
Has anyone tried the socks from Quince that has knock-offs of the Bombas ankle socks? How do they compare to Bombas?
can’t speak to Quince but I found some Hanes or something on Amazon that are decent and fun colors. Not quite as tight as Bombas though. Hated the Bombas colors in the NAS this year, who wants beige socks?
The NAS merchandise always comes in weird colors!
Both Jockey and Marks & Spencer make good ankle socks at a way better price than Bombas.
I bought some and they seem similar. I can confirm that the “Everyday Cotton Solid Ankle Socks” from Quince are too tight for me, just like the Bombas version. FWIW, I don’t have large ankles and have never encounter this issue with any other type of sock.
Random question for today: what is your favorite candy?
I love all things licorice, the HiChew, Fruit Gushers… I can’t keep licorice in the house. I love the Tootsie roll minis (fruity or classic) for a taste of something sweet though as a small daily treat.
Nerds gummy clusters! Though I’m newly allergic to gelatin and can no longer eat them.
I just got a licorice/mint toothpaste and it is delightful!
The nerds gummy clusters have NO RIGHT to be so delicious.
But I also love the OG nerds, strawberry flavor. I wish they came in bigger packs.
Besides nerds I’m more of a chocolate person, and my favorite is probably twix.
Nerds Gummy Clusters are now my #1 candy. They are ridiculously satisfying.
I saw a great meme that roughly said, “If Nerds can reinvent themselves for the most epic of comebacks as an elder millennial, so can you.”
Turns out, Nerds were invented in 1983. As an ’84 baby questioning all things in life, it spoke to me, ha.
Ha! Born in 1980, and this still resonates.
I usually love candy but I don’t love these! They’re almost too sweet?
I’m a candy fiend so much so that twice a year I make a big order of imported candy from a specialty shop. I love fruitella, fuzzy peaches, efrutti apple rings, and jumbo skittles. (Among many many others)
Anything with caramel (pronounced “car’-mel” because SEUS), except sea salt. Keep your sea salt off of my caramel.
When it comes to desserts, however, I am Team Fruity Dessert. Cobblers rule.
I have two answers.
If I want a true treat, it’s dark chocolate in nearly any form. Fudge, truffle, or something else. Just… all of it, please and thank you.
But if I’m looking for a quick fix in the airport or on a car ride, give me all the peach rings or nerd clusters.
I’m a big candy person, mostly sour and gummy things. The haribo brand is my favorite and we usually have an assortment, plus starburst fave reds.
Addicted to Hi Chews and I also love Nibs even though it’s kind of like eating plastic.
I saw a funny Instagram post that said “you know what’s never given me parasitic diarrhea? Nerds gummy clusters.”
My favorites are the above, Neccos, chocolate covered gummy bears, and really most any other candy besides Whoppers.
Sour patch kids and similar things. Sour airheads are OK, but I think my favorites are the sour straws and the trolli sour worms.
I like regular nerds (strawberry and grape) but not the gummy clusters.
Chocolate.
My favorite non-chocolate candies are the BonBon sour blackberry and sour elderflower fish. Sometimes you can find them at Anthro or World Market.
Spree were my favorite — always got them on road trips but I can never find them anymore. I don’t love the chalkiness of Sweet Tarts nearly as much.
I am on the Nerds cluster bandwagon now for quick fueling during long runs.
My non-chain pharmacy carries ‘old fashioned’ candies, and I gleefully stock up on Spree, Whatchamacallits, and Sugar babies when I check out.
Licorice allsorts, Milky Way midnight, and York peppermint patties are my favorites!
I like super sour gummy things (but Trolli brand is sad disappointment).
Also, HBAF almonds. Every flavor I have tried so far is amazing.
I’m struggling with the motivation to work on my hobbies and I don’t know if I need a kick in the pants or if I actually just need to rest. I want to do so many things – I want to sew and write and read complicated books! But I have two little kids and a full time job and once I get to the end of the day, and everyone is fed I just have no brain power left. I don’t want to, but I end up scrolling Reels and short form videos and I hate it. How do you break the cycle?
If you aren’t naturally motivated to do a hobby maybe you don’t actually like it that much? I know needlepoint etc. is all over Insta but that doesn’t mean it’s the best fit for you… while I have hobbies I enjoy on the weekends (getting outdoors mostly) at night you could not pay me to squint at a canvas. Maybe try old movies or something as a way to still be able to relax / veg but not in micro-bursts of online slop?
This is a bit unfair. For a lot of people (including OP) work takes almost all their brain power. You can’t just manifest brain power to do hobbies no matter how much you want to. I would love to be able to spend brain power on stuff I actually enjoy.
might have come out a bit harsh, sorry. Was just thinking there’s a big diff between being someone who actually wants to sew vs. wants to be the kind of person who wants to sew… and when you’re already tired at the end of the day, there’s no overcoming the second situation!
10:54, exactly. I love my hobby more than anything in the world and have more natural motivation to do it than to do anything else. I don’t have the ability to prioritize it above all the other things that drain my physical and mental reserves, though. When work is really insane I just don’t have it in me to practice my hobby in the evening. With many hobbies, trying to power through on willpower alone when you are exhausted can actually be dangerous.
Do you actually enjoy sewing or writing or reading complicated books? Does it engage and relax you? If it does, prioritize it. Turn off the reels, because it’s the equivalent of always reaching for junk food instead of things that actually nourish you. But if it’s another pressure/burden to do those things, figure out what you do actually enjoy. Maybe it’s a steamy kindle book that lets you turn your brain off. Or a paint by numbers you can do while you watch TV. Adjust for the season you’re in.
For the evenings, I’d shift to watching a long video (stream a TV show or something) or reading a non-complicated book. Anything to break the short-form video cycle, which is addictive and draining. Then once you have that cycle broken, you can branch out into other things to do that don’t require brain energy, but also don’t actively deplete you the way those short videos do.
Can you separate the “stop scrolling” from the “energy and motivation from hobbies”? Like, for a week (preferably a month), cut the scrolling completely. If you’re tired, go to bed early,or just sit on the porch and… do nothing. If after a few weeks, you’re still feeling too tired for complicated hobbies, then you’ll know it’s likely a “need rest” thing.
I am mostly talking to myself here, but I need the regular reminder: for me, scrolling feels easy in the moment, but rarely leaves me rested. I am also always better off doing nothing when tired.
Agree with this
Start small. Read 10 pages a day with your devices in another room. Build up that muscle until it’s habit again. I have been there and it is EXTREMELY worth breaking the cycle because the reels just make you feel like crap and totally unrested afterward. Don’t tell yourself you have to “read books” every night – try “read 10 pages tonight” or “sew one seam” tonight.
Even 2 pages counts!
Also don’t start out with complicated books if you’re trying to build back a habit. Thrillers, romances, even the YA books you read as a teen and loved, etc are going to be easier to sustain at first.
Yes and no – Laura Vanderkam made the point in her book Big Time that War and Peace is 361 chapters and some are as few as 2 pages. You can read a chapter a day for a just under a year easily. Anyone can find the time to read 2 pages! That’s if you want to, of course, but a lot of people do!
Idk who Laura Vanderkam is but the obvious counterpoint to this is that it takes much more mental energy to read a few pages of War and Peace than a few pages of a fun beach read. For someone who is lacking mental energy, War and Peace is not going to help ease back into non-scrolling activities.
Yes and no – depends what you want out of it. If you’re someone who loved classic literature in a past life and you want to get back into it, a few pages of War and Peace each night can make you feel so successful and motivated in a way that your garden-variety romance novel won’t. Both have their time and place and it depends on the OP’s goals. If the goal is just to have fun reading again, then yeah, I’d probably choose historical fiction myself, but taking a little time to consider what you want out of this can be really helpful before you start.
Less ambitious hobbies with a gradual step-up once I’m ready. Instead of complicated books, I like to get pretty cookbooks and entertaining books with lots of photos from the library. If I want more, I might get beach read novels. Step up little by little and only when you’re ready.
The internet will win over a complicated book when you’re tired.
Read something low effort and fun! I recently enjoyed The Shampoo Effect, One & Only, The Jane Austen Book Club.
If you don’t already have a kindle they’re great for reading in the dark before you conk out.
I’ve found that I want to do my hobby in the morning rather than after kid bedtime, so I designated Sunday mornings as my hobby time and DH takes care of the kids’ morning routine and breakfast.
I had to take Instagram off of my phone. It’s been 6 months and I haven’t missed it too much. But having it as a very available app was too much for me to resist.
I find that listening to something while keeping my hands busy lets me get in the groove of my hobbies without succumbing to the urge to scroll.
For me, that can be playing a podcast while sewing, music while weaving, or streaming a nature documentary while knitting.
And while I love reading, there are some seasons where I just need to read something lighter. I deal with a lot all day, between heavy topics at work and in the news, taking care of my family, I just don’t have the brainpower to read dense, unengaging tomes. I don’t have to read total garbage, but finding an author or genre that holds my attention is way better than staring at a single page for 15 minutes before putting the book down in frustration.
+1 to this. Reading shouldn’t be punishment – read what you enjoy!
Punishment isn’t quite the right word. Challenging reading isn’t a punishment, but it does take a different mindset and gives you big rewards in terms of forming your thinking. You can enjoy and read smut or cozy murders all day long if that’s your thing, but there is reward to be had in the harder books, too.
There are also plenty of non-fluff, non-smut options that are very enjoyable, immersive reads.
Yep. Read the smut, the fluffy stuff, whatever. I used to love reading nonfiction but in my current life stage, that is not what I’m gravitating toward.
I’ve got ADHD and after being gently scolded by my therapist multiple times I finally got a Brick device. It locks down my facebook/instagram but allows libby and substack. Is it dumb that I need an electronic nanny to stay off of social media? Yes. But it’s easier to accept that I need help to do the thing instead of never doing the thing regularly on my own and feeling bad about it.
In terms of books – any reading is better than no reading and it’s valid not to want to read something that’s a slog. If you post your preferences I bet the board can suggest something!
Get a brick! It’s so good.
I feel you. It helps me to make doing the hobby as easy and frictionless as possible. Once I get started it’s pretty easy to keep going (at least for that session) but for some how breaking the inertia and actually getting started is the tough spot. Art supplies already out. Book chosen and available on the night stand. Do the hard parts (for me, planning) when you have more bandwidth. Phone in another room helps, too.
Now that I am the other end of raising kids (they are in college) looking back the only thing I had the mental capacity for after working full time and raising two kids was very light, no thought needed reading. I couldn’t read anything “complicated”. It had to be something that I didn’t need to keep track of characters or if I feel asleep in the middle of a page it didn’t matter. I would read a few pages every single night and it helped take my mind off the issues of the day and helped me fall asleep.
My kids are older and I still don’t have energy to sew in the evening. I have always had to set aside at least a half-day on the weekend if I want to sew. It takes a lot of time and energy to get everything set up, and then once I get going I don’t want to lose the momentum.
For other hobbies I have to fit the hobby in before I start dinner. After dinner I am wiped out for the rest of the day. I can read but that’s it.
I really understand the scrolling addiction and am also trying to break that habit right now. My strategy is to make my hobbies easier as a way to get back into them. I had a vision of being someone who sits at a table and paints after work while listening to music but I could never find the energy to actually do that. So I started painting in watercolor workbooks while siting on the sofa with the tv on in the background. It’s still kind of embarrassing that I need to have the tv on and can’t sit at an actual table but it is much better than scrolling while sitting on the sofa and having the tv on. I also second the suggestion to read easy books as a stepping stone to more complicated books.
I also have to Brick my phone if I want to get off of it for realsies.
For active hobbies, I have to have a reason to physically get out of the house so going to the barn, meeting a group to run or hike, etc.
I also agree with reading something easy. Or get a magazine! I love Garden & Gun and it has legit writing in it but doesn’t feel as heavy because it’s short bursts of reading. I can read one article then put it down until I have time or energy to read more.
I already commented upthread but wanted to add that changing your internal dialogue about what you can and can’t do at the end of the day can be really helpful. I was once in a rut where I was telling myself I “can’t” do anything after work, so then I ended up not doing anything. Flip the script. “I had a busy day but I love reading, so that will help relax me even if I only do a few pages” or “I’m really good at balancing a lot on my plate, and doing something for myself is one important piece of my day” can help more than you think.
I had a really strange encounter with my house cleaners this morning and could use some advice on what to do next.
For background, we’ve lived in this house for 5 years and had this service for most of that time. The crew rotates, and we’ve given feedback to the owner a few times when the service isn’t great, after which she sends different people and it’s generally good. They are Hispanic and their English is not great but they typically understand basic phrases and DH converses with them a bit in Spanish. I haven’t noticed anything go missing in our house when they’ve been here but we generally hide things like Airpods, wallets, jewelry.
We live in a cul de sac in a safe suburb where people generally leave bikes, etc in their driveways. Our neighbors have toddler grandkids and when they visit (like this week), they tend to leave camp chairs, scooters, balance bikes at the edge of their driveway bc the kids use them and come back, and usually one grandparent is at the end of the driveway watching them when they’re out.
My office faces the front of the house and about an hour ago I saw our cleaners park in our driveway then walk over to the neighbors and take the chairs and scooters and put them in their car. I was shocked and walked out and asked what was happening. One of them said “it’s free”. I said no, it’s not, that’s their kids, we have to put it back. They were really annoyed and I kept saying “no, they leave their stuff there, you can’t take it.” The neighbor came out when we were putting this back and was generally surprised but didn’t really say anything. I also looked in the cleaning lady’s car to make sure they took everything back.
When they came in the house I told them people tend to leave things out in this neighborhood and you can’t take stuff. I called my DH and asked him to call the owner of the service as well. I’m not sure if I should end services with them over this. At a minimum, I’m going to be much more vigilant about hiding anything valuable moving forward.
Um, what? Why on earth would you be “unsure if you should end services over this?” Is there any better reason to on this earth?
I would drop them because they are stealing. The answers saying that anything left outdoors is free for the taking are insane. Mayyybe if an old mangled lawn chair were left next to the garbage cart on trash day?
LOL no one said that “anything left outdoors is free for the taking.” Why are you deliberately misrepresenting what people are saying?
Because it’s easier to live as a thoughtless and malicious person.
That is exactly what everyone is saying below!
It sounds like a misunderstanding. It’s quite a leap to think they’d steal stuff in your house based on this.
Totally. In our neighborhood, things left near the curb are understood to be free for the taking. If they left the things right by their front door or garage or on the porch, that’s different, but the edge of the driveway would be confusing.
Agree. I also don’t think it’s an entirely unreasonable assumption and don’t think it implies dishonesty. In NY, if you leave things on the sidewalk, it typically means it’s there to take. I remember my mom had a coworker friend back in the day who told a story of moving to NYC from another country and being shocked at all the stuff that was thrown away to take and then making the mistake of assuming that the mattress that was left in their apartment building lobby was also intended to be taken, when it was just waiting movers to come take it up. The mattress owners hung up a sign saying “please return,” and my mom’s coworker was mortified and then waited until midnight to sneak it back with a note of apology. Misunderstandings happen! I would not assume bad intentions, but I think it’s fine to let the business owner know to spread the word about your neighborhood norms.
Same, not in NYC, but stuff at the curb is free for the taking.
Same. Not in NYC, but stuff at the curb is free for the taking. However, I also live in a neighborhood where people leave bikes, scooters, strollers, etc. outside in their yards and on their walkways – that stuff is not free for the taking. Honestly, it’s not always clear what’s out for free taking and what isn’t.
This sounds like a misunderstanding to me. And not an attempted theft.
Same in my suburban Midwest neighborhood. I don’t really think the cleaners are at fault here.
Agree. I don’t think this was overt malicious theft.
Rightly or wrongly (and I think wrongly), my suburban area has many people, it would seem, who think anything left near the street or generally toward the end of the driveway constitutes something being left out for taking. I suspect this is what happened here and is a misunderstanding? There are frequently posts on our active local FB group about “hey that wasn’t left out because I’m getting rid of it… my kid was just playing in the yard and went inside for water, then poof item was gone.” Famously in our cul d’sac, an older neighbor took someone’s high chair that was in their driveway because she thought it was free (mom had just put it in the driveway to hoes it down!) and her grandkid was coming to visit so she wanted it for her house. There was later a FB post from a parent pleading for its return.
I agree with this too. Especially if the stuff on your neighbors’ yard was close to the curb. It is good that you caught it in the moment since you know the habits of your neighbors, but I don’t think you need to worry about them stealing stuff from your house now.
In my neighborhood, putting things on the edge of the driveway or on the curb does indeed mean they are free and up for grabs, first come first served. I can’t imagine arguing with someone who told me it wasn’t, but I would also have picked them up if I wanted them!
I can understand both sides of this. In many communities including both our current medium sized town and my very small hometown, things left at the end of the driveway next to the road (rather than up near the house / garage / terminal end) are understood to be there for free takeaway. There is not always a “free” sign. To the point that I actually think the neighbors are the ones in the wrong, by leaving stuff in such an ambiguous location. That said, the fact that you told the cleaners it wasn’t that, I’m surprised they put up a fight. I’d have been mortified and immediately put back and apologize profusely and explain why I had thought that.
This sounds like a misunderstanding – like the items looked liked they had been placed out at the sidewalk for free taking.
This is an understandable mix-up. They thought the chairs were put curbside to be picked up for free. Sure, most people put a sign saying “free,” but not everyone does. Your neighbors should not have left their chairs so close to the curb. I would absolutely not expect the cleaners to steal from you based on this, but I don’t hide my airpods and jewelry, either.
I do hide stuff, but also think it was an honest mistake, especially if it was near trash day. Your neighbors should not leave stuff out like that. People picking up free things off the curb is very normal.
I live in a very similar type of neighborhood, and my kids have been taught to not leave their stuff out. Or if they do, move it close to the house so it’s very obvious the item has an owner. Not the curb! At any rate, I think this was a big misunderstanding.
+1 to being a reasonable mixup. In my neighborhood anything people don’t want gets put on the curb/at the end of a driveway and is considered free to the first person who wants it.
+1. I also am not sure it was necessary to call the owners of the cleaning company tbh. It sounds like it was an honest misunderstanding.
In my neighborhood people leave things out on the sidewalk or at the end of their driveway for people to take, so it could be possible that this is common in the part of the city they live in. Perhaps because it was at the edge of their driveway vs. in the middle of the driveway made them think that it was being given away. Personally I wouldn’t fire them over this
That sounds like a genuine misunderstanding, and from the outside looking in I would have assumed that your cleaners were in the right. It’s pretty normal to leave stuff out on the curbs that the owners are discarding and leaving out for free.
It’s good you caught the misunderstanding and it sounds like it all worked out, so I’m not sure why you’re pushing it considering all evidence points to the fact that these are honest people.
FWIW I’m white and speak English, since you seem to think that race/language are pertinent facts in your post. It seems completely irrelevant to me.
(I think language is relevant, in that part of OPs concern seems to be that the cleaners didn’t immediately put everything back/appear to understand why they couldn’t take it. But if they only partially speak english, that makes a lot of sense).
It sounds like a misunderstanding. I wouldn’t assume they’re going to steal things from your house; the roadside pickup thing is definitely … a thing. You clued them in to what’s going on.
In every neighborhood I have ever lived in, stuff left by the curb is either intended for the garbage truck or put out for free in hopes that someone else will claim it. I think your cleaning crew was blameless and your neighbors have caused the misunderstanding by not being aware of and following cultural norms around this practice.
I’m surprised to see so many people defending their actions when they fought back on the OP clarifying that it wasn’t free stuff. A “oh, we thought it was free, sorry” would have made the whole thing a non-issue but it’s sketchy to me to argue about it like that.
I can see the cleaners, in a ‘oh holy s!t this is embarrassing and we can barely speak English to explain ourselves’ moment, reacting less than ideally here.
+1. I chalked it up to language barrier and general confusion as well. It just sounds like a misunderstanding, not malicious intent on the part of the cleaners.
I thought about that but was chalking it up to a language barrier.
And just understandable defensiveness.
They probably assumed the OP was mistaken. It’s somewhat telling that you jumped to sketchy.
Assuming the OP, who lives there and knows the neighbors, is the one who’s mistaken? K. There’s giving someone the benefit of the doubt and then there’s naivete, but that’s OK – not everyone here has had the experience of frequent theft from their home, I’m sure.
from the post, this sounds like understandable confusion + language barrier – probably the cleaners thinking the OP was mistaken that the stuff wasn’t trash. In plain English I probably would have said “wait what?? it was all on the curb!?” in defensive confusion myself. For a group that speaks only very limited English and flustered to boot… idk, I don’t see a reason to presume a proclivity for petty theft here.
My home was burglarized by our cleaners when I was a kid (and they took sentimental things, not high value things, which was traumatic) and I still don’t think the cleaners are at fault here. Things left on the curb are for taking in my suburban neighborhood, and used kids toys are probably the #1 thing put out there — it’s not like they found a wallet or computer on the curb and pocketed it. I think the language barrier and general defensiveness at being corrected for what they thought was totally ok behavior more than explain their reaction.
In my neighborhood, stuff left on the curb is free/trash.
Kind of weird on your neighbors’ part, IMO. Do they not use the driveway for their cars/ pulling into the garage?
Like others have said, it’s definitely enough of a norm that things left at the curb are free for the taking that I wouldn’t jump to, these individuals were knowingly stealing and are thieves. Awkward, yes. Malicious, probably not.
I agree with everyone else on the point that it was a reasonable assumption that it was free, and that they shouldn’t have argued with OP, but curious other people’s thoughts on whether they should have taken it while working and representing the cleaning company? I actually think that’s the part that I don’t really think is okay…if it was my company, I wouldn’t want them to do that, especially if my logo was on their car, but I’m aware I could also be being a little over the top?
cleaners with little kids in their lives spotting what appears to be a bonanza of free kid stuff? Let it go.
This does not bother me either. If the stuff had actually been left out / free for the taking, I do not see an issue with the cleaners taking it while they are in route or arriving at a job.
I have zero qualms about them picking up a few curbside freebies while in uniform and/or driving a company vehicle. I wouldn’t consider that an activity that represents the cleaning company, any more than seeing them grab lunch at a drive thru or use a public restroom is representing the company.
That’s over the top to me. I think it’s fine to take something free from the curb while driving to/from a job. They weren’t really “on the clock” (I doubt they get paid for commuting time) but either way I don’t think it’s a big deal.
Disagree with most people here. Camp chairs are outdoor items. Everything on that driveway was an outdoor item. If someone left a desk or a filing cabinet next to the bikes, understandable mix up.
But those are all things that are used outdoors.
IMHO, I loathe people who take things on lawns, even though it is “common.” I once was moving from one place to another and had something stolen off the yard next to the house. Like not the curb, the yard.
I wouldn’t take things from the curb unless there was a sign, and I wouldn’t take something from my neighbor unless there was a sign or I spoke to them first. But I think people are giving the cleaners the benefit of the doubt, which seems reasonable.
But having something taken that was next to your house is different. That’s an actual theft, not a misunderstanding. Leaving free stuff on or near the curb is fairly widely understood to mean it’s up for grabs. And is a great way to keep things out of the landfill, and to reduce consumption.
They may be outdoor items but most people don’t use their camp chairs by the edge of the road. There is nuance between leaving an item in your lawn and leaving it by the curb.
I’m sorry someone stole your stuff.
I would switch. The fact that you haven’t been happy in the past is enough of a reason. This would be a deal breaker for me. I actually would’ve sent them home.
Yes, but why? Because you don’t respect norms around this practice and prefer rigid rules of engagement? What’s the reason?
I am an overwhelmed director (i.e., middle manager). It’s not just the tasks; it is the onslaught of information coming from all directions: email, Teams, sometimes texts from my boss. And it’s making me a little crazy because I can’t contain it all, and many messages involve multiple people and feedback points. Many of these emails require substantive replies.
I’m sort of beating myself up because I missed an important date in one of these stupid email threads, which put one of my team members in a bad spot while I was on vacation and unreachable. She took care of it and nothing bad happened, but it was a scramble, and I know I missed it because I was skimming multiple messages and forwards and it wasn’t immediately clear what was needed from me beyond the initial question.
How are other people managing the overwhelming amount of information coming their way? I am already jotting down notes on a to-do list as things come in. Or I try to, at least, but sometimes fail.
I’m in my mid-40s, and I swear I’m no longer made for the modern workplace. My attention feels SO scattered.
I have an agreement with teammates that if it’s urgent and I’m on vacation/otherwise out or traveling, you text or call me with a VM. I won’t promise an immediate response if on PTO, but that’s the only way I can truly prioritize when an inbox is overflowing. I think we rely too heavily on email when a phone call (or text) would suffice to otherwise demonstrate urgency – and that is true both when I’m in and OOO.
I could have written this. I’m experimenting with asking AI every day “what deadlines are coming up” and “what should I get done today” – not just so I can do whatever it says, but so it can flag for me things that may have slipped my radar.
For stuff coming from my team, I walk around and talk to them and ask them if there’s anything in my pile of messages from them that should rise to the top and if so, how fast. I generally get through my inbox daily but especially when returning from a couple of days off, it’s a lot easier than DIYing the mess, and more precise than AI.
Oh man, I feel you. It’s basically impossible to not miss things. This sounds like your team was solid, so that’s a win in my book. If you use Outlook, I have specific tips; however, here’s the general theme.
– Anything with a due date, I put that due date on my calendar as a 0 minute meeting at 8AM that day with a 24 hour ahead alert. I often put the entire email chain in the meeting notice so I have it at my fingertips.
– I color code my incoming messages so that the people above me who assign me important things show up in bright colors and are visibly prioritized.
– I use paper post it notes – one per team – and coordinated digital post-its to keep running ‘active tasks’ that I need to assign to each team.
– I try and dedicate a chunk of time each week – I try for Friday afternoons but sometimes it’s Sunday evenings to just go through emails and triage what’s going on.
This is helpful, thanks.
The key for me has been taking all the various methods of input (teams, text, email, etc.) and putting the real “to-dos” into one format. For me that means email. Text comes in with a request? I copy it into an email from myself. Same with verbal requests or teams messages. Then, my inbox has a “triage” folder with subfolders: 1. Client, 2. Business Development, 3. Admin, etc. Nothing stays in my inbox. Everything gets moved into one of these triage folders. These are in order of importance. Whenever there is a break, client work comes first, then BD, etc. If something is urgent, it gets a flag and the flagged items get done first.
For those of you who do Botox or Dysport, how long does it last? My Dysport lasts about two months. I do have a fast metabolism which I’m told can cause it to wear off faster, but I have friends who get it maybe twice a year!
Botox is about 3 months, Juveau slightly longer, maybe 4? I only get it twice a year because my doctor advised me to let it to fully wear off and it’s $$$ to go quarterly!
Both last about 3 months for me, and I actually get it injected every 4 months. This is forehead only.
Depends on your age and skin, I started once a year in my 30s and do quarterly in my 50s.
I get Botox in my forehead by my neurologist to relieve a medical condition (facial tics). Thankfully, insurance covers getting it done every 12 weeks so after I hit my deductible (after my first Botox appointment lol), its basically free. Movement gradually comes back and around 9-10 weeks its noticeable to me, but I never get full movement back within 12 weeks.
I get about 3 months. I stretch it to 4 and it’s definitely gone by then.
I am one of those people who gets it twice/year. It’s only for the first 2-3 months that I’m noticeably unable to move my forehead muscles. After 3 months I used to *think* it had fully worn off, and would think “eh, maybe I’ll stop getting it” but the pattern I’ve noticed is that I’ll wake up one day and think “ugh, I look *old* all the sudden” and every time I realize it’s been exactly six months since my last botox injection, and I end up making an appointment.
all of which is a convoluted way to say that for me there is a long taper where the effect is pretty subtle after the initial 2-3 months of glassy-smooth skin
I didn’t see where she said they “fought back” on OP’s clarification. Or that they argued. She said that they seemed annoyed after she told them they had to put it back. But also that they put the stuff back.
I have many jackets with 3/4 sleeves. Maybe these are also bracelet sleeves? At any rate, in the winter, how do you all wear these with full-length shirts and blouses? I love a good 70s turtleneck under a blazer, but it won’t work with these. I have some full-sleeve tweed blazers, but ones that are more “work” looking seem to come with shorter sleeves. If I bunch up the sleeves, it’s hard to bend my arms. :(
3/4 sleeves are shorter than bracelet. Bracelet sleeves end just before the wristbone – think ankle pants for arms, as opposed to the mid-calf capri pants of the 90s.
In any event, I wear a sleek knit with sleeves that are shorter than the jacket’s arms, or go full ‘intentional sleeve sticking out’ with something dramatic and blousy. Just to the edge of Puffy Shirt.
You don’t wear long sleeves under a blazer with shorter sleeves unless you are going for a very particular “lewk.”
I don’t. And I have banished all 3/4 sleeve jackets from my wardrobe because they were a pain to style.
That said, I have seen them styled very intentionally, like with a slim knit turtleneck or with a crisp, voluminous sleeve that puffs out underneath. Think something that The Directrice would put together. I don’t have her style presence and just look silly, so I don’t try for that look.
The Directrixe was the real life Elsbeth, no?
You have to wear things with shorter sleeves, but I bet you can still find turtlenecks or mocknecks with cap sleeves or short sleeves if that’s the look you’re going for.
Is anyone watching Little House on the Prairie on Netflix? I’ve watched three episodes and I’m not sure if I’ll finish. Seems like kind of an odd mixture of saccharine moments and abrasive confrontations within the family or with neighbors, so it’s not quite capturing the loving/warm vibes of the books nor the true history. It’s some awkward middle of a faithful, sentimental retelling and an effort to better capture the complexities of the time.
I love LHOTP but have no interest in watching a show that doesn’t reflect the books well. I also don’t get why Mary isn’t blonde, since that was a thing Laura was always jealous of.
That’s the other thing – Mary doesn’t look at all right. Hair isn’t blonde, it’s loose in a way that looks like she’s going to Burning Man, and she appears to have multiple well-fitting dresses.
I agree! I am at E3 and not sure if I want to continue for all the same reasons.
This is half just lamenting and half wondering if anyone has advice. I miss having good friends that live nearby that I can see regularly without it feeling so hard. I’m in my early 40s and don’t have kids (not by choice) and while I have friends both with and without kids, they all live far enough away (at least 45 min in different directions) that I don’t see any of them on a regular basis. I really miss being able to easily text someone to get coffee or go for a walk without it being a big production. That’s all. I just feel lonely and miss this kind of connection and wish society made this easier.
I feel this deeply myself. And it’s a real struggle emotionally for me too. I have a lot of wonderful friends. Unfortunately, only one lives anywhere close to me, and she is tied up a lot with her young children. I also have a lot of friends who I’m fine with seeing every 3-6 months or so.
I want that friend who I want to call on Saturday at 2pm and see if she wants to get dinner that night. And at this life stage, I don’t have any of those people in my life.
My suggestion would be to join some kind of service organization that meets regularly. It has the dual advantage of giving you regular contact with people – even if they are not going to be “friends” per se – and giving you the opportunity to make friends you can hang out with outside the organization itself. And you will be serving the community which is a great antidote to feeling sorry for yourself (it is hard not to feel fortunate when e.g. working with people forced to flee their homes because of war who are now barely making ends meet in a new country).
In my case that is church, but there are non-faith-based options.
I know this feeling. I miss the unstructured ease of texting someone at 3pm “hey want to get dinner?” and having a high likelihood of it working out.
I don’t know how helpful this is, but the friends I see the most regularly are the ones I share active hobbies with–things like running or horseback riding.
I had a basic liberal arts education for undergrad. I didn’t choose to enter the business school as a sophomore because it seemed like a LOT of group projects (scarred from high school as being the person who did all of the work lest we all fail) and zero flexibility with your schedule (a lot of all-morning “business blocks” and I needed to somehow get 4 foreign language and 4 PE classes in or I wouldn’t graduate). Of course, I now work in finance, but as a lawyer (because I understand math and defined terms). Would it make sense to go back and add in some finance or accounting classes? There is a community college here and a State U that I’m now in-state for. I do read the WSJ every day (which is very easy for me to understand and I have been reading it just fine starting in high school). I just feel like I’m maybe missing some foundational things even though I understand what I do and what the business line does (which is on the debt / fixed income side of the capital markets house).
Do you understand how to read financial statements? And how different transaction types impact the statements? The former is easy enough to learn by reading online. For the latter I think you need a basic accounting course.
We are all off-balance sheet :)
Does your particular industry have any courses? Mine has a few organizations that offer relatively low cost online courses that are less of a time commitment than a college class, and that are geared more towards my actual industry. Some are more entry level to make sure the junior staff has a solid baseline, others are more specific to niche industry content.
I’m pretty senior in finance and also avoided b-school, and graduated with a liberal arts degree and have wondered the same. I’m now 41. I always joke there were way more linear and cost effective ways to get to where I did (namely, take a business class 20-year old me, for the love of g-d…!!!). But, I’m also kind of proud of where I am and the extra hustle I had to exhibit to get here.
I, too, often think about going to get a self-paced MS Finance. I don’t need it, but everything I know has more or less been on the job training, so I think there is still a lot I don’t know at the foundational level that b-school grads do. For me, it’s specifically around alternative investments to my specific niche, as the alternatives fundamentally drive people to invest in my product. All that to say – the only way I would do it is if it were free or a very, very, very minimal cost, self-paced and more or less for my enjoyment vs requirement.
I’ll also add that I’ve gained a lot by listening to Squawk Box, of all things, on my daily 45-min commute. Been listening pretty much daily for ~5 years and I’ve gained a lot of baseline context about many things in the business world. I just feel smarter listening to the debate and conversation day after day. I’m also a daily WSJ reader/browser, so keep that up.
IDK why it is like this with teens and younger women, but what is it with 2026 pictures being posed to the middle two people seem to be fused at the sternum. This does not look comfortable, but it seems to be a thing now. I have a batcheloret*e weekend coming up for my cousin and I guess this is how we will be posing now? I think it is better than the former “sorority squat,” which IMO flattered no one but was just a bad way of getting two rows of people into a picture.
You don’t have to pose any particular way, you know. You can just take normal photos like everyone who isn’t trying to impress an algorithm.
I don’t understand the posing in general. It is such an online/social media-ready look.