Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Hilary Ruched-Detail Boat-Neck Midi Dress
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
When I moved into a more casual office a few years ago, my work wardrobe slowly moved away from dresses and blazers to trousers and sweaters. That being said, the draping on this ruched dress from Reiss is just stunning, and I might need it in my closet immediately. As a person who is not a 5’10” model, I appreciate that the skirt doesn’t have the ruching or draping details, so it will make it easy for my tailor to bring it up a few inches for me.
I would probably keep this one in my closet for the days when I’m heading right from work to some kind of networking or fundraising event.
The dress is $398 at Reiss and comes in sizes 0-14 and 0P-14P.
Oooh this dress is beautiful!
How does their sizing run?
They accommodate my hips surprisingly well.
Small!
+1 for small. Imagine you’re in the 80s…that’s their sizing. Fits beautifully for a sporty/athletic physique in my experience.
Anyone have a foolproof curling iron that would be appropriate for a tween who’s just learning to style her long hair? Are those self-twirling ones any good or am I just inviting the smell of singed hair?
The ‘CHI Spin N Curl’ is truly foolproof, you just use smallish sections and it does all the work for you and then releases when the curl is done. If you have the budget though, I’d look at one of the Shark devices, those are supposed to be great dupes of the Dyson and will likely stand up to more abuse/use.
I love my Shark multi-styler curler attachments, but I wouldn’t call them foolproof. It can sometimes be tricky to get the hair to “grab” around the attachment, especially if you have layers. If your tween is not used to sectioning hair for styling, I would start with an auto-curler or auto-beach waver.
I love my Shark but the smoothing tool attachment gets way too hot for my hair (legit burns it). I’d go with something less robust for OP’s use case.
AirWrap has been the only one I can use which kinda runs itself. It’s been a game changer.
Scar advice – slipped and fell this weekend; cut my face and got stitches right in the browline. Have been using vaseline as recommended by ER doc, but are there other tips and tricks to help it heal with as little scarring as possible? Appreciate any tips!
Hydrocollodial bandages (pimple patch material). You can get larger sheets at medical supply store and cut them down to size.
Mederma
Bio oil. My kid had prominent facial stitches after a playground accident. We used bio oil on it day and night for several months. The scar is nearly invisible, only faintly apparent when summer tan kicks in. That was about 8 years ago, FWIW.
I had a mole removed from my face a few years ago and the doc recommended silicon gel. It’s expensive, I think $35 for a little tube -you can get it on Amazon), but it worked amazingly -you couldn’t see it without really looking after just a few months. A few years later had cosmetic surgery and the plastic surgeon also recommended it, and it worked well.
On a recommendation from here, I used Biocorneum on a biopsy scar last year and this year’s mammogram person was confused that there was no scar. I can see it, it is very faint, but I think that’s a great result. It is $$$ but was in an area I cared about (vs a knee, which is a hot mess of scars).
I don’t know if it was my comment but I recommend biocorneum here a lot, so happy to hear a success story!
Scar sheets at night and scar cream. If it puffs, see a derm. They can inject a steroid that will keep it from keloid development.
Regardless of what oil/ointment you use, once the scar has started to form, rub it gently multiple times a day. That helps break up the scar tissue and will minimize the appearance. Do it even after it feels all healed – it can take months for the final appearance to settle.
Do it for up to a year after.
The common denominator to these product recommendations is keeping the wound moist during healing. That’s the key to minimizing scar formation: clean, moist, covered. A silicone product will be less shiny than petroleum jelly or oil products but may not matter if you’re keeping a bandage over the wound. Scar massage only after the skin has fully healed.
And this is rarely mentioned, but good diet is important for wound healing. Hydrate, lots of protein, and a multivitamin with with A, C and E vitamins with a bit of Zinc can really help.
In addition to the recommendations below, make sure you sunscreen it really well since sun exposure can cause it to last longer and be more noticeable.
Biocorneum absolutely. Or silicon strips. It’s made a huge difference on my facial scar that had already become visible.
My law firm has nominated me to serve on the managing partner committee. (Three lawyers, rotating 5-8 year terms depending on if you are elected chair your last year.) The pay is abysmal, it’s seen as part-time firm service more than making up for billable hours lost. I am looking for outside perspectives on what this role can be like. I know every firm is very different, but I think I’m getting the pitch (roses) version and I’d like to know the downsides/reality – only thorn I’m hearing about is time, and I don’t think that can be true.
aside from the literal time involved, the interpersonal stress of dealing with partners fighting over billing credit etc.
What kind of book do you have? This often takes you away from the active practice and makes you less portable. I have a number of friends who’ve turned this down because of the probable loss of their book.
FWIW we have a 4-person committee out of 20-25 partners, and one of those is the managing partner. The MP is the only person who loses substantial billable time to the MC, IME. The rest of the committee is a 2-4 hour a month commitment.
I also don’t find it to be stressful – for me I like to shape firm policy if I can (increasing our parental leave, etc.) and learn about the intra-firm stuff that’s going on.
Does this committee have a major role in determining compensation?
This looks almost identical to a machine washable ponte knit dress from Target that I wore the heck out of in the aughts. Would have expected natural fiber at this price point.
if a synthetic fabric means easy care (as in, wash on delicate and hang dry) I don’t mind, given the beautiful structure here. Here, it’s still dry clean only. No thanks!
Garden question. If your yard is a combo of red clay dirt, a few plants, and copious weeds, like a jungle of low weeds and vines that are a tripping hazard, where do you even start to clean it up? I can’t just throw grass seed out (especially in a drought) and I think that the weeds will overtake any new plantings. Start with a weed walker? Or weed pulling? Or Agent Orange (kidding, sort of)? I want this to be better by late spring next year and feel that I hear that fall is when you can make progress. Back yard gets a lot of shade from two giant older trees that I’ve verified are in good shape.
Lowest bang for buck imo is chop is all down and then weed whacker or mow the area regularly. Weeds cut to a consistent 3″ look a lot better and at least you can walk through it.
No chemicals – you want your soil to be ready for new plants, not toxic! This is time for a family project with long sleeves, pants, socks, gloves, etc. Some pairs of pruning shears can help you avoid having to unsnarl things – just chop them back until they are a manageable size for pulling. Then handheld weeder tools can spare you a lot of pain with the root systems.
You will likely want to add topsoil of some kind before planting – would suggest your local garden center (like, a real one, not Home Depot) for advice in your climate and soil.
+1 to all of this but also you may want to ask your neighbors if there are gardeners they’d recommend. I physically can’t pull a yard full of weeds so I’d need to hire this out.
I’ve also heard that putting down cardboard in the fall, wetting it, and then putting mulch over top acts as a greener weed barrier:
https://gardenandgun.com/why-my-new-favorite-weapon-against-weeds-is-a-cardboard-box
Haha, this is my yard. Every spring I tackle the invasives like the Japanese stilt grass and rose multiflora (however that’s spelled$ and hope that the pollinators take over the space. It looks like heck, but we get a lot of humming birds and bees, so doing something right. We also don’t use weed killer for this reason. Just do it by hand and let the pollinators run rampant.
We had a rubble and clay filled garden and found green manures for a year or two – and just cutting back and digging it in – really helped revive the soil.
Rent goats to clean it up, then mulch with cardboard/newspaper (this will kill the weed seeds that are left in the soil layer) and a layer of compost on top, throw out grass seed, another thin layer of compost on top of the grass seed.
This is the path I would take. Although I would opt to seed with a native groundcover rather than grass so it is lower maintenance in the long term.
Yep, this! You have to smother the weed field. Cover the area with at least 1 layer of cardboard, top with 3” soil/compost where you intend to plant and wood chips where you don’t. Then you need to be vigilant about pulling any new weeds while your grass or other plantings grow in. Also since you mention the trees, assess whether grass is going to be the right choice. If it won’t thrive in your yard, you’ll be back in weed land before long. Might need to explore other types of landscaping, with annual mulching in between plants.
Figure out where you want landscaped beds vs. lawn. In the beds, mow it down as short as possible, lay down sheets of cardboard, soak the cardboard and cover it with mulch. You are going to need a truckload of mulch; look into bulk delivery. Then just let them sit like that all winter. In the spring, make little holes in whatever is left of your mulch, plant and re-mulch. Commit to hand-weeding throughout the first year. You’ll make a dent, but keep the mulch on. I don’t really know about lawns, but a good broadleaf weed killer and a pre-emerge in the spring, followed by seed, is where I would start. If the seed is going to take, you have to give it a head start by killing broadleaf weeds first. Also, don’t try to grow grass under your giant trees.
A big question is what kind of weeds you have… if you have bindweed or knotweed you’re going to need to be aggressive, like tarping the entire area. this will kill absolutely everything (look up occultation or solarization). (This summer.) Then in 2027 I’d plan for maybe a year of quick-growing cover crops — they won’t be pretty but they’ll suppress new weeds, help the soil recover some life, help with soil structure like aeration, etc. Then after that I’d either get a quick-growing eco lawn and call it a day (they’re like 6-8″ tall so you don’t have to mow)
If you wanted to go with native flowers and shrubs I’d start doing some research now on shrubs you like; look for a nursery through WildOnes.org. I’d go with established plants because it can take 3-5 years to really establish and you need something to compete with the weeds. For flowers you could in theory wintersow them thsi coming winter (January 2027) and be able to plant them by Fall 27, but they’ll still take time to get established.
If you want to ignore all this and just want pretty flowers drive around your neighborhood and see what things seem to be doing well with your neighbors.
Another vote for the cardboard and mulch option. You’ll want 3-6 inches of mulch on top of the cardboard to keep it down. I had to use a few bricks here and there to keep the edges of the cardboard down. If your whole yard is a disaster, you might consider free bulk woodchips (look up ChipDrop). But I’ve had lots of luck with cardboard and mulch for large sections, like 20 ft by 6 ft. We used the cardboard and woodchips for a 30 ft by 30 ft section where we were planning to put in semi-raised beds.
Don’t till – it will free all the dormant weed seeds and they’ll sprout! And don’t use herbicide – it will damage your healthy trees.
Controversial opinion, but it’s not worth it to try and make a lawn work for most people, especially with that soil. Unless you need lawn for yard games or a dog or something, I’d just put down cardboard and mulch, put in holes for the plants you want. Bonus points for native plants – they’ll likely tolerate your soil without too much work amending it. Cottage garden vibe, nice wood chip walking path, shadier. The weeds that make it through are less offensive/out of place looking.
The happiest native plant under my trees is poison ivy.
I have a shed in my backyard (Midwest town, huge yards). I’ve lived here two years and learned I absolutely hate yard work. The neighbor’s high school kid mows my yard. I basically ignore everything else. I was in the backyard this weekend after I noticed and went to pull a tall thistle near the fence, and much to my shock, the area behind/around the shed is overgrown…several tree-like plantings/bushes have sprouted, huge weeds, etc. I had a lawn company come two years ago to help with two flower beds, they quoted me $250 and charged me $700. I don’t need it to look nice, I just want this stuff gone. A friend suggested TaskRabbits. Any experience with that company?
Taskrabbit is like Uber – it’s not a garden company, but a generic platform where you can hire an independent contractor for a one off job. If you had anyone personally recommended, like by a neighbor, I’d go with that. But task rabbit is a reasonable option as long as you pay fairly and don’t expect miracles.
I use them for things like furniture assembly, bartending, and occasionally I used them in the yard. But they aren’t cheaper than what you were quoted and paid, it’s individuals doing gig work who set their rates and you get what you pay for.
I’ve had mixed experience with TaskRabbit! They are all independent and can hold themselves out as experts in just about anything. I hired a woman to put together some Ikea furniture and she was amazing. I hired someone else to install a microwave and had to call him back 15 minutes after he left because it was falling off the wall.
If you’re not looking for anything too technical and are willing to keep an eye on them, this might be a good job for a TaskRabbit, but I would just be cautious. Definitely make sure they have lots of reviews for yard work, not just general reviews.
Buy a good pair of loppers and chop it all down, then ask the HS kid to keep that section mowed, too. Pay more since it will take longer to mow more area.
You’re going to need equipment to tackle saplings, which I assume you don’t have. So in this case, you need to hire a lawn company or someone on TaskRabbit that owns a brush mower. It’s going to cost hundreds of dollars because they have to bring the machine out to your site on flatbed trailer in order to do the work.
taskrabbits aren’t going to help here because a) they won’t know a plant from a weed, and b) if the weeds are taking over (especially thistle) you need a better plan with how to deal with them going forward, ideally by planting something native that will choke out the weeds or at least something low maintenance that chokes out the weeds.
NYC Divorce Court process question – I’ll start by saying this is for a friend who is both ‘a lot’ and feels like her attorney is not doing a good job… I am the friend at a distance who is being supportive but also the voice of reason. Adding to this, friend’s ex is making some irrational demands and has a wealthy benefactor paying legal fees.
In NYC specifically, it’s a ‘mediation first’ process, correct? So both parties file/respond and then are sent to mediation unless there’s a concern for underlying abuse or other rationale it’s not acceptable. If mediation fails, then it goes back to the court, correct?
Simply put – how involved are attorneys generally from the beginning in this mediation first environment? Is the first round of paperwork fairly basic but actual details are only if Mediation fails? Or is it expected that the full documentation/claims are all included in the first round filings?
My eternal divorce advice, as a lawyer who has been divorced: always get a second opinion before signing in for an attorney. (Asterisk: if there are good reasons to not, such as price sensitivity or things are amicable and easy.)
This is particularly true if she’s questioning her attorney’s advice and strategy. She will either hear the same thing again from someone else, which will help her trust the process, or she will find a lawyer better suited to her needs.
Thing is, even in family law, lawyers have different strengths and weaknesses. Some are wizards at turning the temperature down and getting people to the table so that a deal can get done without draining all of the assets. Some are great at complex financial arrangements. Some are well-attuned to abuse and coercion dynamics. Her attorney may just not have the sub-speciality that she needs for this particular situation.
I’m dealing with burnout and finally told my close girlfriends this weekend how bad I’m feeling about my career. I love them, I really do, but they all either work part time or are SAHMs. There is no easy way to say, actually I make 40% of my family’s household income and hold our benefits, so it’s not as easy as “just” changing jobs, and also I would LOVE to work part time but my husband would never be okay with that. It is hard to explain the stuck feeling to people who aren’t going through it, too.
Feel free to vent here. Similarly, I am working at a company where 60 hrs/wk is seen as part time and I’m so tired. I also make 80% of our HHI and have amazing benefits so I’m white knuckling it until my husband can ramp up in a new role. I’ve also got a mostly SAHM friend group so it’s not where I go for working mom commiseration.
There are a few networking groups in my field and I’ve had good luck connecting with other women also dealing with working while having kids/health issues/eldercare issues. I’ve felt 60% less crazy after a few vent sessions with those folks.
When you say your husband would ‘never be okay’ with that do you mean simply financially or on some weird principle?
Not OP, but my husband would never be ok with it on principle. His mom raised two kids very much on her own while working full time and she’s his hero. In his mind, there is no excuse for me not to work if I can. I’m fine with this.
Honestly I feel this way for both parts of any couple. Until we retire, I’d never be okay with my husband scaling back either.
Food for thought: my spouse is not employed but handles 95% of the household management. Everything to do with home maintenance, repairs and cleaning, all of the cooking, shopping and errands, car repairs and maintenance, not to mention taking point with our college kid’s needs. It is glorious and frees me up to focus on my career, which provides our health insurance as well as our income.
Some days I wish I was not the sole breadwinner but it really is quite nice to have a full time homemaker who isn’t me.
Yeah, definitely one of those opinions that isn’t wrong but wouldn’t work for me. My ideal is a full-time working parent and a part-time working parent, assuming kids. If we had health insurance that wasn’t tied to careers in the US, my ideal might even be 2 part-time parents, if the finances worked out. I don’t understand why people would put themselves through the difficulty of raising kids with both parents working full time if they didn’t financially have to.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that health care should not be allowed to be a job benefit. If health insurance must exist, we should all have to get it on the open market, and then we’d be free to rely on part time work if we can otherwise afford it. Our current structure forces us into specific types of work and I’m kind of tired of it.
+1
A lot of people don’t want to be pushed into the position of being the breadwinner.
My husband had a mom who worked, and he was not open to me being a stay at home mom, even though that was my preference early on in our relationship. It was (is) disappointing, but maybe it’s working out for the best. I do envy women who have a simpler life and don’t have to juggle so many high-pressure responsibilities, but I also think it must get boring.
I’m sorry—some people will just never get it. Being able to change jobs at will is a financial luxury and there’s no guarantee that the outcome will be better.
Sorry, I’ve been there, but sometimes the answer IS to change jobs, even if you are a mom and have a lot on your plate. The job you’re in has so much influence over your life. You can’t always cope/positive think your way through it. Sometimes the job has to get so bad that you simply have to plow forward toward another one–it lights a fire under you to make a change. That’s what happened to me. I was at my job for 10 years and only left when our department went from 14 people down to 2 due to cost cutting and was a true disaster. I stayed at my job and seriously job searched for six months and turned down offers that weren’t a good fit, so I didn’t just leap for the first opportunity. The job I have now is so much better (and I am a mom of two kids, so I get being risk averse). I know you’ll never reach that realization by someone telling you that. But maybe someday you will be ready to make a change if your situation doesn’t improve.
+1
The grass can be so much greener; it’s not just an illusion.
I’m sorry you feel stuck and I have also been frustrated when trying to career vent to friends/family who are SAHMs or part time employed (basically all those who have no idea what it’s like to grind and then come home and maintain a household). Do you have a financial planner? I think having a meeting where you map out financial goals could give you an idea of what it might take to change jobs (even if there is a pay cut).
I feel this. Also, “just” changing jobs can take an entire year, and then the next year is spent trying to get settled in and prove yourself! So it’s two years until you find relief. Ugh.
I also genuinely don’t understand how other people in my income bracket or neighborhood support SAHMs. Like how are the dads making essentially double what I make in order to support a family, when I have a well-paid white collar job? Even if they aren’t paying for daycare, they must be making at least half again as much as me.
This just isn’t your group to vent to.
Looking for ideas for company swag for a holiday gift this year! We’re in the industrial/construction field, so a mix of white-collar and blue-collar jobs and mostly men. Past gifts have included an LL Bean fleece, a Carhartt hoodie, and Carhartt flannels. (And before anyone mentions cash, please know that this is in addition to very generous bonuses and is something people really look forward to!)
Anything in the Duluth Trading Fire Hose fabric line.
LL bean tote? Very trendy and functional
Boot/gear dryer. Amazing for work boots, people doing sports, athletic cleats, etc. Specifically the brand DryGuy.
Rain jacket or poncho or golf umbrella if you want it to be a wearable.
Good quality folding chair.
I’d love a quality folding/camping chair! I also appreciate quality umbrellas–we always keep one in our cars.
golf umbrella is nice because who wants to buy one, but always great to have!
What about those fancy Yeti coolers, or a gift card to buy heavy duty truck bed/floor liners for their cars?
I would do some kind of cooler as well. Anyone can use that.
Portable charger and multi-tools are the most popular swag I have ever gotten/furnished.
Yetis are ubiquitous and perennial swag favorites. So are good, name-brand bluetooth speakers.
Planning vacations with family can be so frustrating. That is all.
Are you me? Or my sister? I wonder why I bother and then, every year, it’s the same terrible re-run. Everyone loves the idea in concept but has zero capacity to execute.
Depends. Are you insisting we travel the most expensive week of the year to accommodate your kid’s schedule but then reporting that you’ll stay a 25-minute drive away to save $500 total for the week, ensuring we’ll all spend the whole time in the car if we actually want to see each other?
Longtime lurker here! Excited for my first post asking for advice!
I’m 37, and just quit a job in a pretty toxic environment and am transitioning to a new state/city for DH’s new job. This is my first time without a job since I’m 16, and I’ve finally decompressed enough to realize that while I’m still terrified about the professional uncertainty- I have a pretty cool opportunity to explore my personal hobbies, enhance health etc during this time between jobs.
I’m trying to create a funemployment bucket list. What would you add? I’m looking for any/all inspo.
I had a roommate who took up underwater welding. I’m not sure that counts as funemployment, but it’s probably the most interesting profession I can think of.
This isn’t the place.
Disagree. This is the place. I know several people who have taken off a chunk of time between jobs, voluntarily and not, and have done some funemployment stuff.
I hate the term funemployment. It’s so dismissive of the actual scariness of being unemployed.
Its a common term right now, maybe sometimes used sarcastically. A friend of mine left a job last month and calls herself funemployed.
I’ve always used it for when I’m intentionally taking a few weeks off between jobs (but that the next job is lined up). So it truly is funemployment. Ditto friends who have gone back to school (say school starts in August but they leave work in mid July). I would not call actual, unplanned/unfinanced unemployment funemployment.
I called myself underemployed when I was laid off because it described that I wanted to be more employed! Being laid off was definitely NOT fun. But I don’t begrudge people who quit or get laid off and want to approach that time period in a different mindset!
I don’t see any reason why this wouldn’t be the place for OP’s question about interesting things to explore during a period of unemployment. People talk here all the time about what they would do if they had a long break from work.
totally agree. plus what about when people retire early? that’s soemtimes something overachieving gals do.
What a weird response. This is the perfect place for it! I’d try something new-to-you that’s active and adventurous, like a ropes course class or a surfing lesson, and also visit museums and “tourist in your own town” mentality.
I’d use the time to really explore your new city! I try to take 2 weeks off between jobs (though, now I have a pension I’m locked in at my forever job). I have always enjoyed “staycationing”, visiting places that may be too crowded on a weekend or have limited hours. Popular breakfast spots, museums, etc.
This isn’t super fun, but I used time in between jobs to purge every closet in my house several years ago. I love my job, but sometimes I fantasize about taking a new one only so I can have two uninterrupted weeks to go through and do it all again!
Haha, I do this for fun on random weekends.
good for you! i’d say think about athletic/movement hobbies first, as well as social hobbies. then i’d think about hobbies that require movement but aren’t exactly exercise, like gardening or golfing. i garden now and honestly couldn’t see how i could do this at age 70 because there’s so much bending and kneeling.
When I was underemployed, I used the time to develop a quality exercise routine and I was point-person on moving into our new house. I love choosing paint colors, thinking about how to organize, learning to use power tools, learning how to garden. I find a lot of self-expression in those activities because they blend skills, creativity, and productivity. And I didn’t need to be at a desk! Now that I’m back to over-employed, I appreciate that I had learned some of those skills so I can quickly utilize them. I could hang our new TV easily, plan a simple vegetable garden, etc because I had already put in the time to learn the necessary skills.
I left my job a year ago, with the full understanding that it would take a few years to find my next role. I have also taken an unpaid sabbatical of three months. I found it helpful to come up with three words that serve as a north star and help me prioritize what I want to do. Right now, those words are: care, trust, explore. The “explore” word is probably closest to your bucket list, so activities that have fallen under that caterogry include volunteering (local civic engagement, food bank, national organization volunteer), seeing movies in the theatre, taking the commuter rail out to new-to-me coastal towns for day trips, and catching up with as many people as possible in my network to see what new ideas shake loose.
Has anyone paid for the premium subscription on Thrifty Traveler? It supposedly gets you advanced notice when airlines run great deals. There is a sale right now so price is $99 versus $129, but am a bit skeptical. Any IRL experience? Thank you!
i haven’t done this one but i did a yearlong subscription to Going which used to maybe be the Points guy. even if you’re limited in your airports it’s still a lot of information, at least that’s how it was for me.
This sounds like information you can get for free.
Because we are all amateur pharmacists, defense attorneys, and psychiatrists now, what is the best and most accurate Lindsay Clancy podcast or You Tube? I’m stuck inside on an in-laws “vacation” and the weather is bad and I need something that’s not Big Brother to watch and this is so tragic and sad and I’d like to understand this better.
Book recommendation! This weekend, I read Alive Day by Karie Fugett. It’s the memoir of a very young woman married to a marine who is injured in the Iraq war and subsequently dies, leaving her a very young widow. I found out about Alive Day in a review that mentioned the publicity support for the book (not much) versus the publicity for Belle Burden’s Strangers.
Alive Day is very well written, and is a really thoughtful take on the consequences of sending young people to the front lines both for them and their families. I’m still thinking about Ms. Fugett’s story days later.