Thursday’s Workwear Report: Puff Sleeve Blouse
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Ann Taylor has tons of great blouses for the office right now, but this one really caught my eye. A great white blouse isn’t going to be your most exhilarating purchase of 2025, but it might be one that you wear the most!
I like the square neck and slightly puffed sleeves, and, most importantly, it’s machine-washable (a must for any white items in my wardrobe).
The top is $84.50 at Ann Taylor and comes in sizes XXS-XXL, but is marked down today to $59. It’s available in a few other patterns, mostly stripes — try this link.
Psst: Today is the last day to get Ann Taylor dresses for $40!
Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
As someone anticipating a layoff due to current circumstances , I’m feeling caught about knowing I should be shoveling away money but also wanting to reasonably enjoy things while I still can.
For example, I’m supposed to go skiing on Sunday. I have a season pass so it’s really the cost of gas. Part of me thinks I love skiing, it brings me joy, hopefully while skiing my mind won’t be on the stressful things, I already paid for the pass so might as well get my moneys worth.
The other part of me thinks that I shouldn’t waste the money right now and what if I get hurt, then get laid ofc and lose health insurance?
I’m supposed to grab a drink with a friend tonight. It will be fun and good for me. But, is that $30 better off in my savings?
For me in these situations the balance is usually continuing things that are good for my mental and physical health. Skiing checks those boxes for me as it’s outdoors in the sun and highly active.
You can try to angle towards less expensive activities like a coffeehouse meet up instead of a bar or a BYO coffee and go for a walk in the park. It’s New Year’s and lots of people are trying to get in more exercise anyway.
When I have drinks with friends with precarious jobs, I pay. So it might be cheaper than you think.
Same
Don’t let fear and insecurity cause you to strip simple enjoyment out of your life; that will only intensify the anxiety and make it grow stronger. You actively need to practice relaxing your thoughts, enjoying yourself, and letting in some perspective.
Also, do you have an emergency fund, and are you free of consumer debt?
If so, enjoy the skiing and the night out with friends.
If not, set yourself a budget so that you can confidently begin to put money into an emergency fund, pay down that debt, while also still setting aside some money for enjoyment and entertainment.
I think the way to deal with this is to sit down and look at your overall budget — how many months of emergency expenses do you have? What /would/ you cut if laid off? Make a plan once; so that every individual decision (do I cancel skiing; do I go to the bar; etc) doesn’t need to be stressful.
Agree with the advice to prioritize costs that support your mental and physical health – that’s true even if you ARE laid off! Whether or not $30 is a reasonable cost to pay or should be saved is pretty dependent on your individual financial situation, or would better contribute to your mental/physical health saved, but if you have healthy emergency savings, I lean towards yes, go!
I agree. I think maybe before cancelling plans that are already made that will cost you about $30, sit down and do a forensic of your finances and also get the resume updated and apply to 5 jobs on LinkedIn.
Both are two solid steps to taking control of the situation.
If you already paid for the skiing pass, regularly go skiing.
For your friend, be up front! “I’m worried about layoffs. Can we meet at my place or yours instead of going out?” One of my friends has money troubles because she was unexpectedly divorced. We have had a ton of fun hanging out at her place or mine. We are actually closer now. I bond better wearing sweatpants and talking for hours apparently.
I am an Old, and when a friend had financial woes as a result of a divorce we started just hanging most of the time. Our friendship deepened and we felt like we were back in our college days.
You absolutely need to go skiing. That’s not even a question when it’s just gas money. There is no better activity for getting out of your own anxieties for a few hours. The rest can wait.
Can you have your friend over for the drink to keep the cost down, if the idea is to get together?
Go skiing. You’ve already paid for most of the expenses, and it will be good for your mental and emotional well-being to be out in nature doing something you love.
I would definitely still go skiing. I also probably would not cancel the plans with your friend tonight, but in the future, I might plan a coffee date or a walk instead of drinks to keep the cost down. Or if it is a good friend, invite a friend to hang out at your place.
I’ve been in a similar situation before – I heard through a very reliable source that I was getting laid off the following month, which I didn’t doubt and indeed turned out to be true, when I had a weekend away planned and mostly paid for two days later. I’m so glad I went. That weekend was the best distraction, and it really helped my emotional state for a long time that I spent two days having a really nice time before things got acutely more difficult. The layoff was stressful and came with major financial uncertainty (it was 2009, so, you know, not a ton of job prospects on the horizon), but the small additional amount I spent on it was neither going to send me to the poorhouse nor keep me out of it in the long run, you know?
Also seconding that if I was going out for a drink with a friend whose job I knew was threatened, I would not even let her touch her wallet. Or maybe ask your friend over for a drink that’s already in your kitchen?
I would go skiing but skip the drinks.
Thanks all – no debt of any sort (though I rent so that’s a fixed cost I have), about 10k in cash savings, 15k in investments I could sell if needed, and 100k in retirement accounts I won’t touch unless its an absolute emergency. Family is nearby, so I can move home if needed when my lease ends, if needed.
I’m sure many positions will be converted to contractor positions, and I can likely get one of them, but it’s still stressful. Without saying too much, I’m an employee of an organization that has uh, been in the news lately discussing laying off all probationary employees.
You’re talking about less than a rounding error. Go to both for your mental health.
To the extent there is an upside here, it is that you don’t need to be quiet or surreptitious about either your concern or your interest in finding something new. Turn on your LinkedIn profile to reflect at least openness to contact from recruiters and spread the word via your friends and network now. And I’d look at rolling back things like subscription services and discretionary purchases, and eating peasant food, more than limiting social contacts if you can. But also, yes, future meetups at home/during drink specials/grabbing tea with closer friends.
That is a good take, love this comment.
Go skiing.
As a consultant in a similar space, I’m improving my resume now. Let your friends know you’re looking. I’ve been long term laid off before and you will need your friends to survive. You will survive but all of this takes a toll. Find balance between getting support from the people here who can offer advice, people who are in your shoes because everyone here doesn’t know what the gov work is like, and your friends who care for you as a person. We will make it through.
Go skiing. Nature is the best restorative. But be careful; we are all a bit exhausted by the craziness.
Go skiiing- it makes you happy and you’ve spent the money. Right now, you have health insurance, make future determinations based on info at that time.
Budget and plan for going out— you need to network right now, so it’s important, just be strategic. For hanging out with friends, try some lower cost options like dinner at home, or coffee, or a hike.
Good luck OP!
If you’re worried about health insurance, you could try getting some of your routine visits scheduled now, and maybe getting prescriptions refilled early, including things like dental cleanings, glasses/lenses etc.
But from what you describe below, $30 for a preplanned outing is not what will move the needle much.
I would definitely go skiing and ask your friend to do something cheap/free instead of going out.
Go skiing. You already paid, and you have health insurance (and will for at least 9 months IIRC for Cobra) even if you are laid off tomorrow.
Go out with your friend, too! If you’re going to need a new job you’re going to need to network, and that includes seeing friends. But try to get a well drink or the cheapest glass of wine on the menu, don’t splurge on the good stuff.
Does anyone have a recommendation for a florist in Pasadena? A dear friend lost her home in the fire and I would like to send a plant to the rental she and her family are moving into.
Instead of a plant, how about a DoorDash or Uber Eats gift card?
OP here. You have no idea what else I have done for my friend. I am asking for a florist suggestion.
Good luck, OP. This place sometimes.
Seriously.
OP: I want to do a nice thing.
Commenter: It’s not thoughtful enough.
Rinse, repeat.
Between that and the frequent “have you considered how it’s actually your fault?” responses to OPs going through hard times, it’s a lot. And no wonder so many regulars leave.
I have no suggestions because I haven’t lived in Pasadena in a long time, but as someone grieving from afar the thought of you giving your friend some flowers brought tears to my eyes.
It’s a lovely idea op. Feel free to disregard the above suggestion. Fwiw when a loved one passed I more appreciated flowers than the dozens of uber eats gift cards people sent. I was living on takeout anyway, it was nice to have something pretty to look at.
Not a local florist but … Grace Rose Farms roses last forever, ship quickly and are a super indulgent treat.
I am the anon at 9:03 am. I didn’t mean to come across as snarky, just wanted to make sure your friend had the basics covered. Supporting local florists is a lovely thought.
Jacob Maarse is the classic old-school florist in Pasadena. Brad Larsen is another option. Both are local businesses who could use the business.
Call Leonora Moss in Sierra Madre. She’s not cheap but really good and a small woman-owned business. https://leonoramoss.com/flowers.html
Or Ixora, another woman-owned business. Maarse is really expensive; they do have their own delivery vans.
French Florist!
I’d send her cash.
I gave my dear friend/hairdresser $500 cash, after he lost his home in the Florida floods. He was floored and so grateful.
I did that on recommendations of folks here.
If the friend is in Pasadena and not Altadena, they very likely haven’t lost their house and might not need to replace things or be in a hotel (which is what cash is good for). They likely know many who did. We’re all grieving. Flowers and checking in are greatly appreciated.
Bad news: I accidentally laundered my Apple Watch with the bedsheets
Good news: It seems completely fine.
This made me laugh; glad your squeaky-clean watch is still working!
I would add a similar experience with the key fob for my car about a year ago. I took the back off when I pulled it out of the washer after a 52 minute HE cycle, dried with a soft cloth, reassembled. Good as new!
I dropped by iphone in a hot tub and it worked perfectly after. We have come a long way!
Right? 12 years ago when I was fixing to leave my husband, I dropped my phone into the (mercifully unused) toilet at a restaurant and ruined it, and good Lord did that complicate my escape plan until I was able to get it replaced!
Hug a federal worker today, y’all. It’s rough being the target of a vindictive administration. I know the goal of all these EOs is to make everyone quit, and I don’t intend to. But navigating all the uncertainty and chaos… I really did not miss those feelings the last 4 years.
Thinking of you all. This whole situation is gutting. I work in higher ed and am very concerned about how this administration will affect our federal partners, granting agencies, etc.
As a contractor to a granting agency… we were directed yesterday to suspend all new funding opportunities (public health & national defense agency).
Worried about this as a federal contractor.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this.
I would love a genuine answer to this question. I assume every new administration comes with its own changes and new policies and that there may be pauses and bumps along the road. How much of that would you expect with a normal transition vs what you are experiencing now? Obviously the whole DEI situation is crazy, but what about the rest of it? I’ve worked in local government my whole career and seen a few transitions, but none have been particularly drastic.
It’s not usually this drastic. The threat to cut all probationary employees is new.
Yes, as someone who has worked for a federal agency for several years, took a break for family reasons, and returned over a year ago, it’s gutting to know that I am likely considered a probationary employee because it has been less than two years since my return.
Normally, priorities shift but the overall goals largely stay the same. This is not that. This is not a normal administration change.
no it is not
thank goodness “project 2025 has been completely debunked and definitely has nothing to do with Trump” though, amIright?
It has not been my experience that a lot of career employees get wholesale fired or even categorically had their jobs removed week 1 of an administration. Yes, the political appointees do but not the regular staff. That’s more retirement and not back filling kind of thing. I’m sure someone’s going to say it happens all the time in the private sector but most government employees choose stability and less pay to reduce the likeliness of this happening.
Cried today at work when someone asked me how I was holding up. Not doing well… I’m a probationary employee
I’m so sorry for you and the nation right now. Glad you’re not letting them break you. Thank you for all you do. It’s so hard to see public service denigrated.
I wonder where all the women who were so ecstatic on this board when Trump won have gone. I can only hope they’re the ones losing their jobs, I mean that’s what they voted for. For everyone else, this foreigner feels for you.
How do you account for annual one-time expenses in your monthly budget? Do you include them as a monthly line item, or do you just contribute to a “big items” fund or some other method? I’m thinking for example of contact lenses – I order them yearly and it costs about $400, so should I account for that in my budget as $30/month?
That’s what I do. I realized that all the annual expenses were adding up to a significant number that I wasn’t including in my monthly budget! A few examples: Car registration fees, prime membership, magazine subscriptions, annual eye exam/contact lenses, umbrella insurance. I also include a line item for home repairs that basically just accrues until I need it. Thank you YNAB for making this easy!
+1. Thank you YNAB for the concept of “True Expenses”.
My line item is called “annual bullshit,” and yeah, I just categorize anything that falls into that in YNAB and budget whatever the rolling average cost for that category has been.
This is the best way. Back in the day I had monthly sinking funds for everything: gifts, insurance, property taxes, medical, car expenses, house expenses, you name it. I had actual separate accounts at ING Direct (now CapitalOne) for each category. I loved it. These days my husband isn’t much into that kind of micromanaging so we cash flow everything, but I miss the predictability of it all.
I have a “designated savings” section in my monthly budget where X per month is going into savings, but it’s already designated for paying those bigger intermittent expenses. So, x per month for car repair, yearly insurance, medical copays for unforeseen needs, buying eyeglasses, one-time house purchases/repairs (furniture, decor, upgrades), vacation, Christmas, etc. That adds up to a substantial amount that has to go into savings each month.
I have a spreadsheet where I project out all spending for the entire year (and future years, with each year linked on a new tab). Each spending category gets its own column, each day is a row. My total balance is in a column at the right and it factors in all activity for a given day on that row. I enter costs where I anticipate they will fall, and can then see immediately the effect that has on my available balance.
So while I don’t have individual monthly costs entered for things I pay annually, I do have the annual cost entered and can see if I need to adjust something else to accommodate it.
Also adding that I usually don’t actively transfer money out of savings when one of those expenses comes up. I usually just cash flow it out of my normal account and put less into savings that month. So I’m not tracking it dollar for dollar.
But putting it squarely into my budget ensures that my discretionary spending takes those delayed expenses into account, and that I don’t get taken by surprise.
I’m the person you replied to. To be clear, I did not type this response to myself.
My spreadsheet actually accounts for ALL my accounts (various checking, savings, credit cards, HSAs, etc.), and includes subtotals and a grand total across all of them. I don’t often transfer money into and out of savings (b/c my checking actually earns more interest), and I do track everything dollar for dollar (cent for cent, really). But yes, seeing how my rando spending impacts my balance at any given point is really helpful for being able to plan ahead without surprises.
I have a “big ticket items” fund. I overfund it a bit beyond what I expect for intermittent expenses to cover anything unexpected too (a car repair, replacing broken glasses, etc.).
I budget a monthly miscellaneous expenses fund, and personally would include contacts in that category, since for me they’re a more variable expense, but if you do it every year and know what it will be, I don’t see a reason not to break it down as a monthly cost. FWIW, I also don’t budget a set grocery/restaurant expense, as I’m not trying to be exhaustive in my budgeting, and mostly just aiming for a general overview.
My budget is generally tight, so I track most expenses including weekly groceries. I have a separate budget for annual and semi-annual expenses (contact lenses, certain home maintenance tasks, professional fees, christmas and birthday presents). I create the budget at the beginning of the year, divide the total projected expenses by 26, and designate that portion of my paycheck to go into a separate bank account each payperiod. If I know I will need major car repairs or an appliance in the coming year, I add that to the annual fund, too. At the end of the year, whatever isn’t spent rolls over to the next year or I use a portion for extra christmas splurges. I do the same thing with travel projections and budgeting. I have a separate travel account for weddings, vacations, etc. I haven’t had to tap into my emergency savings using this method.
I have a sinking fund for those kind of expenses, and set money aside in a separate account each month.
Same. I just opened a second savings account that will serve this purpose.
I think it depends on how tight your budget is. I used to make a spreadsheet of all the bigger annual expenses (life insurance premium, annual clothes budget, etc) and choose to take that out of savings. Probably should have been its own “bucket” but for ease we have one HYSA.
You would think that with a tight monthly budget this would be a good way to do it, but I found the opposite. I was still spending up to my category limits each month, and then pulling more from savings than I wanted to.
Now, I cash flow. Oil tank fill, new car tires, plumber visit, definitely contacts and glasses – all of it. It helps that I have broad budget categories and money is fungible, so when I have a big expense I have to pare back on everything else. If I go over for a month, I roll it into the next and have even less spending money.
It’s remarkable how many “needs” are revealed to be wants when you have to simply not buy things!
And then at tax refund time or extra paycheck time (26 paychecks a year, but we budget based on 24), I will settle any scores and use those funds for any REALLY big expenses.
I was today years old when I learned the term sinking fund! I set aside money for health deductible, vacations, and our insurance bills since we get the bigger term insurance ones at the same time. for other stuff it might go into our emergency fund but i’ll keep a listing elsewhere of what’s going in and why (e.g., $250 each month for my kid’s expensive rowing lessons)
For contact lenses, I add that into my medical expenses. You can deduct those on your taxes if you itemize, yes?
I have a sort of sinking fund for unknowns. But for an annual expense like contacts or a subscription, I just note the entire amount for the month I usually spend it in. I was stricter when I started my budget but because I essentially spend the same amount per month, I don’t do that.
What would be your “uniform” for first dates in the winter? Concepts or specific links welcome! I’m trying to get back into dating and would like to have a go-to first date outfit to simplify things. I’m a summer gal so dressing myself in the winter is always hard!
Knee high boots (no heel), flattering jeans, flattering V-neck sweater.
That is a very dated look.
PP – I’m 40 lol
Dated looks are a sustainable choice!
I’m a pretty casual dresser, and my go-to is Madewell perfect vintage wide leg jeans in black, cropped sweater, chelsea boots.
I’m an elder millenial so my answer is always ‘jeans and a going out top’ but updated for 2025. I’d go with darker wash wider leg jeans or bootcuts, a top with some visual interest (fuzzy sweater, sheer sleeves, silky printed blouse), pretty earings and low heeled boots. Take a look at Kristen Bell’s wardrobe in ‘Nobody Wants This’ – they really nailed modern ‘casual but nice’ date outfits.
These are the types of pieces I’m missing in my closet. Where are you shopping these days?
My jeans are almost all from Madewell. Tops are a combo of Jcrew, Anthropologie, Marcella NYC, Tuckernuck, and Lilly Pulitzer.
Madewell and Anthropologie for what you’re looking for.
I’m an apple shaped married lady who is lives in an area where it’s ok to look dressed up. But here are my outfit formulas:
High boots with a slight heel and a midi sweater dress. Long wool coat.
Bootleg or wide leg trousers or in an interesting fabric or pattern with a sleek turtleneck, earrings and pulled back hair.
Dark Bootcut jeans with heeled booties and a grown up going out top. (Usually a pretty blouse with sheer or lace details.)
Whatever you’re wearing that day. My first date rule was keep it easy for a first date so it’s not a lift, it keeps you going if there’s not a lot of barriers to going out. Then dress up for a second date.
I really like this idea.
cute sweater that somehow invites touching — it’s very soft, it has poms, it’s interesting — and jeans.
Slightly different question. What is a third date winter outfit, if you run cold? I used to just be black sweater and jeans and want to up my game a bit.
I’m partnered, but my go-to for winter third dates (depending on venue) was either:
– jeans (or black pants) + silky top + boots or
– long sleeve/sweater/knit dress, tights, boots
Short skirt and tights (& sweater). The tights that look sheer but are fleece-lined if it’s really cold.
If this is a third date of the sort where you might end up at either your or the date partner’s place and with some level of un-clothing ;), I’d not do tights personally, since I hate getting those on and off and the general look of hosiery when the skirt is gone. YMMV.
Generally, what anon at 12:45pm suggested would be my look.
I’m a probationary fed looking at potentially losing my job. Does anyone know what would happen to my health insurance? Would it be cut off the day of my firing, the end of the month, 30 days? I’m moving up doctor’s, dentist, and eye appointments to next week to hopefully get them in.
I don’t understand federal government HR policies, so I’ll leave that question for others. But outside government, there is a tangible difference between “fired” and “lay off” in terms of what happens with benefits, severance, and other help. You may feel, emotionally, as if you’re being fired, but the classification may actually be a lay off, which will trigger some automatic actions (such as options for insurance coverage).
Usually end of the month. At my old company they did make a point of doing layoffs the first week of the month so that people got the full month of health insurance.
If this is the case, call your doctor and tell him or her what’s going on and ask for a a prescription for 6 months of any medication you take. Then you can buy it when you’re still insured. Sorry you’re having to think about this.
My “knowledge” is based on my mother’s fed retirement benefits – I help her with enrollment and related issues. The FEHB handbook says health coverage ends at the end of the pay period in which your employment ends; then, you get a 31-day extension of coverage at no cost to you.
You should have the option to continue coverage through TCC (basically, the fed version of COBRA), for up to 18 months, during which you would pay 102% of the premiums – the full premium plus a 2% admin fee.
The info seems specific to health care, so I’m guessing dental and vision are treated differently, but I don’t know for certain.
Me too (first poster today). I’m trying to look up what they did last time there was a large RIF.
Since RIFs are infrequent here, people are usually only fired for cause, which is obviously different. So, I’m unsure what they do for benefits, pay, severance for RIF’d employees.
That being said – this is all so unprecedented who knows what will happen – they likely won’t even follow protocol about benefits. I’m expecting to lose everything immediately.
This is not an answer as to fed benefits, but keep in mind that you will automatically become eligible for Affordable Care Act coverage, which may be more affordable, especially if you are without income for a significant period, and get you through. Obviously the coverage is different, but it might be the best.option for some especially if.you can get your annuals in and don’t have any going health conditions.
Is there even still going to be ACA coverage?
there will be until they legislate around it, right? but for 2025 i don’t see how they can.
As of now, yes. I believe the D1 EOs just shortened the ACA open enrollment period.
Trump’s new Justice Department leadership orders a freeze on civil rights cases: https://apnews.com/article/civil-rights-division-justice-department-trump-2dcb45cca7c9c9cdaea78282d4279c35
I’m not a lawyer or a Fed but this seems pretty bad.
I’m not sure if it was explicit, but there was functionally a freeze during the first Trump admin. It’s still bad though.
I’m most worried about the news in the health and science space. Stopping the weekly reports of deaths makes it impossible to track trends like bird flu or regular flu. And the NIH grant freeze is potentially catastrophic. Some of those projects are years long and disruptions are fatal to the overall research body.
The news out of health and research is dismal with one exception – the Baby-Friendly Hospital designation might lose its funding. I’m fine seeing that go! It’s so coercive and bullying to postpartum women.
Baby Friendly Hospitals are a nonprofit started by UNICEF and the WHO, not a fed thing.
Correct, but the U.S. withdrawal from the WHO affects BFI – at least with what we know now.
+1 on baby friendly hospitals. Although I’m surprised the forced nursing advocates haven’t completely joined forces with the forced birth advocates to make life as difficult as possible for women.
Childfree person here: What the heck is a “baby friendly” hospital? Just from the name it sounds like BS…
It’s a probable overcorrection from the days of pushing formula over breastfeeding (at least in the USA where clean water is usually available). I think it’s hard to appreciate why it happened without the context of the sales tactics Nestle used to use, the historical risks of bottle feeding, or the very intense social stigma of breastfeeding directed against immigrants and minorities who couldn’t afford formula in the past (it was genuinely seen as deviant, backwards, and beneath human dignity not that long ago).
The policies to encourage exclusive breastfeeding also weren’t truly baby friendly because milk doesn’t always come in in time to prevent hypoglycemia, and our whole culture has moved away from milk sharing for various reasons. I think now they at least have donor milk so babies don’t go hypoglycemic while waiting!
It isn’t BS; it’s an effort to push breastfeeding because that tends to be better for baby and mom. (Not always — but on average). Some hospitals implement it in a way that is positive (lactation consultants on staff, facilitating things like prolonged skin to skin contact immediately after birth and delaying medical steps like weighing baby to allow for baby to attempt an initial patch, baby roomed in with mom to facilitate it, etc). Some are shitholes that shame moms for not wanting to breastfeed or don’t make formula available when moms have a clear plan not to breastfeed.
I’ve delivered at two baby friendly hospitals. Was offered the option of supplementing with formula at one of them (was unnecessary at the other). Really, really depends on your region as to how these hospitals treat women.
It depends how long “further notice” lasts. I would expect every administration to ask for time to come up to speed on the docket to confirm that the agencies it oversees are not taking positions opposite to its own. That’s, like, what the executive branch is supposed to do vis a vis administrative agencies? Supervise them?
But if “until further notice” stretches beyond a month or so, yes, worth being concerned. Doesn’t seem worth expending energy worrying about yet.
Normally, that is what the transition team uses the two months before the inauguration for. I can’t speak for Justice, but the transition team never met with anyone in my agency, which is very different than previous administration changes. Now we just get emails from our acting head that truly sound like they were written by Dolores Umbridge.
When you travel for work, how fancy are the hotels you stay in? Where do you work?
I work for a nonprofit, but not one where people share rooms etc. We’re grant funded, but don’t have individual donors. For short trips 3 star hotels or fine, but for longer trips extended stay hotels or similar.
Depends on the trip and the location. There are trips that are treats or incentives, and then the hotel is on a beach and/or in a fancy European city. Other trips are just work and the hotel is either a Marriott Courtyard or a Hilton Garden Inn. One particular facility only has an AmericInn by Wyndham nearby, so that’s the host hotel for trips to that facility.
There is no policy on stars, and the only policy on cost is it should ideally be under $300/night inclusive of taxes and fees unless it’s a special group trip.
I work in state government and we typically stay in Marriott hotels or if it is a conference, we try to stay at the conference hotel which has been places like Embassy Suites. So nothing fancy, but perfectly fine. Occasionally we get to stay at the fancy hotel near the Supreme Court in our state if we have oral argument, but not always. I think it depends on if a cheaper but still close by place is available.
Also in state gov, we have a price limit but most of my travel is out to little highway towns, so there’s always a Fairfield or something within budget. We can stretch a little for conferences.
I’m in consulting and it varies. When the client is in the middle of nowhere it’s usually Fairfield Marriott type hotel. If there’s an upscale hotel that’s significantly closer to the client site than a cheaper one I pick the nice one to reduce commuting time. If the client is financially secure I don’t feel bad staying at nicer place. I’ve stayed at a swanky 5 star hotel in San Francisco because I prioritized safety over cost.
I work in finance and most of my travel is for industry conferences. If the event is hosted at a hotel, I stay at that hotel (typically big cities and hotels like the Omni, InterContinental, Waldorf-Astoria, etc.). If the event does not have a room block, I am at whatever similar type of hotel is within walking distance to the venue. If an executive is also attending, the whole team stays at whatever hotel that executive selects (usually a fancy boutique place they like). Room sharing does not happen in my firm.
I travel UK-wide for a small charity here, fairly regularly but short trips. We have a max cost per night in our policy, although very occasionally go over (mostly for London at busy times). I wrote the policy and it’s designed to allow a decent but not fancy chain, but otherwise it’s pretty open – I will sometimes pick a worse room in a better hotel (quality or location) if that suits me, and people are also allowed to pick a nicer hotel and pay with their own money over and above policy. Basically I need to be able to look my funders in the eye about it but my standards for accommodation aren’t unreasonably high so I’m also not staying anywhere for work I would consider too gross/unsafe/depressing to stay in my own time and I’m definitely not prepared to share with colleagues.
We use the federal rates as our guidance, so usually Holiday Inn Express, Hampton Inns, and things on that level. Usually hard to find a Marriott or a Hilton Garden Inn in the price range.
In any major city the only thing in budget is usually some sort of a mid-range chain like a Sheraton, Delta etc. They’re fine, some are occasionally really nice. Sometimes when events are in other countries the travel budget can be stretched really far and we can swing a luxury hotel.
Former F50 employee. We had to stay at “preferred” hotels, the list of which was managed by a vendor. Typically a Doubletree level, sometimes Fairfield in small towns (Though there is a Fairfield in lower Manhattan that looks just like the Fairfields in small towns, except vertical.)
The list was curated to be cheap enough but also safe enough. Hyatt Place or Hyatt House – I think Place, but I don’t remember 100% – for that chain. Hilton Garden Inn.
Not Ritz Carlton. Not W Hotels. Not JW Marriott.
So those kinds of places but not the top top top, like not Andaz Hyatts.
I work for a nonprofit in a VHCOL part of California, and exclusively travel within that VHCOL area. I stay at Hilton properties because they’re more common in the area – usually Hampton Inns or Hilton Garden Inns. They run about $220/night in my area.
I once lived at the Ritz in a big city for 2-3 weeks for a trial and I will tell you – at a certain point all 5 star hotels feel like 3 star hotels.
I just spent 6 straight weeks at a Holiday Inn Express. I kind of doubt that
At least if you’re somewhere with a Ritz you probably have food options that aren’t Arby’s
Government contractor and I have stayed at Marriott if the government rate fits in the per diem for that place. Marriott has all of their rates on their website which helps. The downside is it may be the Marriott at the airport but that’s helpful when leaving.
This is such a pretty pick – I wish there was Ann Taylor in Canada.
Recently lost a decent amount of weight and have been rebuilding my wardrobe. I’ve got pretty much all I need now except date night tops! I’m also recently married and love having a fun top to dress up with jeans. I don’t care for skirts or dresses so tops are my go-to, but I’m having trouble finding tops that are dressy without reading as a work top. Any suggestions?
What’s your style? If you lean classic, you might need to look for the styles you like in fabrics and colors that you wouldn’t wear to work, such as silk, velvet, chiffon, etc.
If you have a more eclectic style, try some stores where you wouldn’t shop for work clothes, such as Anthropoligie.
Maybe take a look at Nuuly or other rental option to get a feel for some diverse options?
Antonio Melani, filter on tops, then social/cocktail/evening.
https://www.dillards.com/p/antonio-melani-sonia-stretch-flocked-lace-off-the-shoulder-bodysuit/519142396
It depends on your personal style and budget, but some options for stores for date night tops (or outfits) are Anthro, Reformation, Sezane, Modern Citizen, Frankie Shop, And Other Stories, Madewell, Universal Standard, Everlane, Apiece Apart, La Ligne, and Emerson Fry.
I have a sister who has I’ve been text-only with since this summer after her verbal abuse just escalated to the point where I had 99 other problems and this wasn’t going to be one of them. I am civil to her and just to the point of anything having to do with the care of our father, who had been in the hospital. Also: she wants money (dad will send her some, but she has to ask him directly; I will not lobby on her behalf or spend his money without his permission even though I have a POA and he has me keep his checkbook for him at my house).
She lives a long way away and since her teen and young adult kids have had phones, I’ve been IG friends with them and we text occasionally. Birthdays, holidays, etc. We like each other’s posts.
One of my kids told me that my sister sent her some texts about college. IDK why — kiddo isn’t asking her about this and my sister went to a very small college a long time ago. She is not someone who does college counseling or anything like that. I guess I will monitor, but now I’m not liking her talking to my kid directly. It isn’t something that has been a regular occurrence or anything (kid is 14 also). And I don’t want kid to be pumped for info or become any sort of pawn. Just monitor for now? When she gets unhinged, it is sort of a 99%ile unhinged; otherwise, she has wrecked most of the adult relationships she has ever had (family, romantic, friendships) and no one in our family goes out of their way to interact with her due to how she has treated them over the years.
Been there! I would just monitor carefully. If kid is 14 they are not going to college tomorrow and in my experience with a similarly unhinged sibling, they get distracted/lose interest pretty easily in relationships like this (with your kid). My sister’s relationship attention ratchets up when she needs something (money, help) and down when she doesn’t.
I would strongly consider blocking auntie on kid’s account unless sister has a minor kid to whom you may be a lifeline. Kids shouldn’t have to deal with a volatile adult.
If you don’t block auntie, make sure that kid knows auntie can get inappropriate (both in abuse and in asking for inappropriate information/favors), that kid never has to answer auntie, and to keep you abreast of any messages from auntie.
I was talking to a friend who is a doctor yesterday and she said that she thought anyone wanting to go into medicine to try being an EMT. Her thinking was that it often takes a year or more to get into med school and you learn so much as an EMT that it pays you back (vs having a McJob or medical office job). Has anyone here been an EMT or have any thoughts? Friend is very smart and well-regarded, but I have never heard a school say this (but they are selling you on their school and EMT training seems to be a community college thing vs a 4-year college thing). She said it would also apply for anyone wanting to do any advanced heathcare work, like NP or PA.
The friends I have who did this, did it to see if they wanted a future specifically in emergency medicine, and were nursing students. One loved it and is now a full time RN in the ER, the other works in a family practice.
She’s probably talking more about understanding more fully what it means to do 1:1 patient care under stressful circumstances, with taxing physical conditions (lack of sleep, being sick, etc), understanding how frustrating it is to see repeat patients not being able to access the basic care that would keep them out of the ER in the first place, etc. etc. etc. Plus practical things like how to start an IV, etc. Smart advice.
These are the oddest sorts of questions on this site. Can’t your friend have given you not crazy advice and can’t you either follow it or not? yes, it’s definitely a thing people do who want to go into medicine. no it’s not necessary. you do you.
I believe this is the poster who wants to go to nursing school to better care for her aging parents or special-needs child. I am wishing her the best for sure!
But I agree that this is a very specific question- the people I know who became EMTs did it for a few years in college on campus, so probably very few heart attacks but a lot of pumped stomachs
+1 and Narcan administration.
Regular EMT stuff can be pretty grisly. A lot of very messy very bloody/body fluids/substances experiences. So I can see how a doc needs to get desensitized to this but not something I’d do just for fun.
My two cents as someone who has observed family members and friends in the medical field: EMT or CNA, depending on what kind of medical care you want to get into. They both are community college programs that will quickly get you medical skills and a (kinda crappy) medical job with direct patient interaction. CNA can more often lead to tech jobs in hospitals, if those are the connections you want to make.
This strikes me as kind of… I’m not sure if naive is the right word, maybe privileged? You already have so much schooling as a doctor or nurse or PA. That’s years and years of lost earning, lost saving, uncertainty in where you’ll land geographically, lost time to actually start your life. If you have a goal then why would you further delay your life to have a whole different career of being an EMT? To what, just make sure being a doctor is what you really want to do? But being an EMT is nothing like the day to day of, say, your average PCP.
I have to imagine the only people suggesting this nonsense are people who come from money and don’t have to worry about saving for retirement or a house or eventually funding their child’s education. I’m a lawyer and it took a decade for me to dig out of my student loans and catch up my savings/retirement to come anywhere near my friends who started working FT right out of HS. I can’t imagine telling someone to extend that timeline even further than 35 years old.
It is completely normal to work as an EMT while applying to a degree program. It doesn’t delay anything. How else are you going to pay the bills?
I know a lot of people who were EMTs while in college – several of whom went on to med school or PA school.
I don’t think being an EMT means delaying anything. It’s not terribly epensive to become an EMT, and then you can be one part time, per diem, or on campus while you’re in undergrad to have at least a little money coming in AND you’re getting experience.
I also know a lot of people who were scribes in undergrad while premed. IME, EMTs make more than scribes, have more flexible schedules (since nights and weekends always need coverage), and it provides hands on patient care.
Hmm, speaking as a professor who has lots of students who apply to med school (but isn’t a doctor or a premed advisor), I actually think that this advice might be speaking more to students without privilege. I went to a fancy school and had lots of friends who either got into med school straight out of college or deliberately worked fancy jobs for a few years before applying to med school.
The students at the much less fancy college where I work now really struggle to get into med school. They often apply for 2-3 cycles before getting in (if they get in at all), while working not so great jobs in the meantime (ones that don’t pay as well or give them relevant experience). For these students, I could see that working as an EMT might be much better than what lots of them are doing now.
Yeah, even a lot of the privileged kids I know have had a hard time getting into med school. I’m thinking of one in particular who did a whole master’s degree in a related field before she finally got in. I think being an EMT would at least involve earning money instead of spending it while you’re building your resume.
I know several people who had to do this
EMTs make minimum wage to do maximum work. It’s a shitty job. I do think there is utility in getting EMT certified pre-med, but actually working as an EMT is a dead end, low wage, high burnout job.
My cousin did this for 2 years, and he highly recommends the experience. He ended up at Yale.
Because of the timing of the MCAT and completing certain pre-reqs, my husband wasn’t able to apply to med school to start straight out of undergrad. He knew he would have a year in-between, so he worked as an EMT that year and then started med school the next year. This is VERY common in medicine – has zero to do with privilege, and everything to with it being a job easy to do in that 1-2 gap year period, good pay, and in the line of interest.
Where do you live that EMT is well paid? Genuine question.
Remember, pay is relative. When you are just out of college as a pre-med, your job options are minimal when any employer knows you are quitting soon to go to med school. You are not really trained well to do anything.
Of course EMT is not paid like a lawyer/doctor. It is crappy relative to the importance/stress/intensity of the job. But for a 22 year old fresh out of college thinking about med school, it is a great idea for a year or two.
I’m an MD.
I have an ex-EMT sibling, and he made about $2/hour over our town’s minimum wage at entry level. It wasn’t just not doctor/lawyer money; it was “6 months of experience at McDonalds” work.
I have a family friend who did exactly this to boost her application to med school. She’s currently in a PA to DO program so I would say it helped. From what I am observing, good grades and MCAT scores are not enough to get into med school. You’ve got to have something else and I think this is a good option.
Would any of you do surgical tech vs EMT? Just thinking of control vs chaos, some level of predictability. Our community college has both programs.
As an MD, I think EMT is better. You will see a more diverse assortment of medical conditions, get to do more procedures (lines, draw blood, oxygen etc..).
Surgical techs are often quite subspecialized, and you really never touch a patient. And it would get incredibly boring fast.
I was an EMT in college when I was toying with the idea of med school. Not gonna lie, I dod it because it was a super cushy job that paid well. In 2003 I got like $15-$20/hr to be on call for puking frat bros when the other jobs paid $7.
It taught me I don’t really like patients, which I sort of already knew. I ended up going into lab research for a bit, did my masters in healthcare admin and then worked for a major health system for a bit, then various tech companies that build hospital software. I eventually bubbles into a startup where I got out while the money was good and now work part time consulting to other startups.
Long/short, I probably would have ended up in med school if I didn’t go through the EMT course and 3 years of on campus EMS. FWIW I also worked in a nursing home for about a year with another company. That double reaffirmed my dislike for people/patients.
I really believe everyone thinking about medicine (and maybe law?) should spend a year or more working in these sort of medical positions before going to med school.
Has anyone gotten social security to change a mailing address? My mom died and my dad is now in a new apartment by me. We sold the family house but the mail from social security keeps going there. The extended forwarding will eventually run out. I keep trying but I stay on hold for hours.
I wish I could edit but dad has arthritis and can’t use his iPhone (uses a land line) and email, so I can set up an account for him but prefer to just call to change this; I don’t expect to need to use an account otherwise.
Sign up for an account. It’s the only way this will get done. If you want, make a new email address that you both have access to and sign up with a password that you both pick.
Also, once you put in the request, it takes 3-6 months to have them update.
Can you not do it on their website?
Nope.
I wrote a letter to Social Security requesting this for a deceased loved one and they sent one back saying nope (forget why or if the answer would have changed if I provided XYZ paperwork), but that they were all done sending mail for the decedent anyway. Maybe your dad you send a letter for his own Social Security mail?
Yeh, I pulled this off sometime during the past year for a parent. I can’t recall whether I did it online or over the phone. I think they required a phone call? If you haven’t created an online SSA account for them, start there (you probably have…and commiseration to you about the hold times…hang in there).
Do you have a local Social Security office? This is the kind of thing I would march down there and do in person.
+1 – that was how I changed my name back when I got married. The SS office was so much easier than the NY DMV (which somehow required 3 trips).
Ask your congressperson or senators. They specifically help constituents with problems with federal agencies like this
Accidentally put my period underwear in the dryer. Are they totally useless now?
No! Have done this with kids’ period swimwear. They still work. Maybe not recommended but not fatal.
They’ll still be absorbent, they might shrink a bit though. I’ve accidentally done this before and it was fine.
I have been craving one of those embroidery-heavy Sezane blouses for ages. I feel like it’s about time to pull the trigger. If you have any, where do you wear them and how to you style them?
It has wrecked my mind how we can wear sneakers and spendy sweatshirts to work now and I can’t figure out what is really appropriate after seeing literally everything being worn in the office. Like I’m thinking this is date-material but maybe casual brunch clothes also? Maybe to work if not sheer? IDK. I just don’t want it to sit in my closet, but need to figure out the rest of the outfit.
I wear mine all the time– usually with jeans and loafers for going out to dinner/drinks/dates, with trousers for work. anything where I want a half step up from basics
To work- layered under a cashmere vest, wide leg pants, pointed toe flats
cool weather brunch or date- paired with wide leg jeans, leather shoes (flats, boots)
warm weather brunch or date- paired with tailored shorts, leather sandals
cami with either of the above depending on how and where sheer parts are.
Can someone catch me up on the Blake Lively – Justin Baldoni stuff? I can’t keep track anymore.
as best I understand it:
during the promotion for that CoHo movie (which is about domestic violence?, but was kind of marketed as a romcom), Blake Lively got a lot of flack because of how it was marketed and she was accused of trying to launch a haircare line during the movie promo… clips resurfaced that were 15 years old of her being bitchy to reporters (something about being pregnant at the time)
a few months later, right before Xmas, she filed a defamation suit against Baldoni saying that he was the one who had orchestrated this whole campaign against her and that he did it in retaliation (I think?) for her not putting up with sexist antics on set, like him trying to demand that her character give birth totally nude “because that’s how women do it”
Now he’s filed a countersuit against her and her husband for defamation
I never thought I’d say this but I’m on team Blake – if the totally nude birth thing is correct then that seems dispositive to me that he’s the bigger AH. not that she isn’t one also, but…
At the very least, he’s a giant mansplainer for the naked birth comment, considering that Lively has actually given birth!
IMO, Blake shouldn’t have gotten flack for the movie marketing. The whole book is a mess and plays off domestic violence as romantic right up until the end. I really hated that story.
I have not read the book, but thought it looked like a Twilight-Saga-level for literature quality. But the main character is “Lily Bloom” and she is a florist?! I feel like if books like this are made into movies, I ought to try my hand at writing.
You should. I try really hard to not be a book snob, but it was awwwwful.
wherever I read about the nude birth thing, the journalist noted that she has given birth 4 times, which I appreciated
i love romance books and NO ONE i know is reading CoHo. obviously some people are but they aren’t romance books!!
Basically this. Her claims are pretty credible and backed by evidence and some stuff that happened contemporaneously.
I’m mostly surprised that Baldoni’s billionaire backer hasn’t caught more flack given how involved he was and the (now clearly faux) DEI angle on his production company. Baldoni wouldn’t have been near as bold if he didn’t have that guy in his corner.
oh I haven’t read that tidbit — i was wondering why the heck this guy seemed so bold, especially since aren’t blake/ryan close to billionaires also?
I read something fascinating speculating about how Blake had his publicist’s texts in her court filing. The publicist was at Firm 1, but left and is now at her own firm. But the stuff in Blake’s filing came from her time at Firm 1, which I guess just handed over what was on the firm-provided phone. So . . . do whatever you do on your own phone or be wary of which when switching firms. d
I read the lawsuit and IIRC, it had a footnote on one of the early pages which stated that information in the complaint was gathered through pre-litigation legal discovery. So, I’m not sure it was just someone handing over what was found on a phone? It sounded as if the texts and other documents were subpoenaed. Also team Blake. Baldoni sounds like a douche. This is bad for both of them though, unless it fits into the “all publicity is good publicity” category-which it may. I’m guessing the movie has been seen by lots more people due to this drama.
Thank you for asking this question! And thanks to those who answered! I’ve been wanting to understand but…eh, so much drama to read up on ha.
The Popapologist podcast has a couple different shows on this and I will say I have flip flopped my opinions many times. Currently I think Blake is a control freak who is used to getting her way.