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Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Wrap Dress

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A woman wearing a mustard long sleeve dress with black high boots and black bag

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This “gilded green” wrap dress from Banana Republic isn’t going to be for everyone, but it’s such an unusual color that would look gorgeous on the right person.

The dress itself has a relaxed fit, but the tie waist gives it a great shape. Add some tights and boots and you’ve got a cozy, chic outfit to get you through until spring.

The dress is $200 at Banana Republic and comes in sizes XXS-XXL and XXSP-LP. 

Sales of note for 12/12:

  • Nordstrom – Winter Savings Event, up to 33% off (and fragrance sets up to 15% off). Designer Clearance continues, up to 60% off.
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off almost everything
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Lots of nice markdowns and clearance, including on suits, blouses, and more
  • Cuyana – Free shipping on orders of $95+ (readers love their totes!)
  • Express – $19+ Cyber steals + 25-70% off everything else
  • J.Crew – 30% off almost everything (including select cashmere)
  • J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything
  • Lo & Sons – Holiday sale, up to 50% off – Reader favorites include this laptop tote, this backpack, and this crossbody
  • M.M.LaFleur – 25-70% off the snuggliest styles of the season (this weekend only) Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Neiman Marcus – Spend $200, earn $50 gift card… up to $1000 spend, $200 gift card
  • Talbots – $19.50 HoliDeals, and 50% off your regular price purchase
  • Universal Standard – At least 40% off sitewide!

198 Comments

  1. Send me your best breakup advice please! My daughter (28) going through the end of her first serious (2 yr +) relationship and I want to send her the hive’s best advice on how to cope in the coming weeks and months. Welcome other ideas as well on how to be there for her (although we won’t be together in person until November).

    1. Don’t wallow too long. Take a weekend but get out there. Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. You don’t need to grieve for this. Wasn’t right, don’t waste more time.

      1. I don’t know about that one. Yes to not wallowing endlessly, but jumping to the next partner isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Maybe the broader angle would be to invest in your social life and own well-being. That could include a new partner or not.

        1. Yea as someone who never enjoyed casual hookups I don’t really agree with the “get under someone else advice.” I think focusing on getting out and being social is good, but it can be with girlfriends.

          2. Really? 28 seems so young to me! I got married at 27 and people acted like I was a child bride. The vast majority of my college and grad school friends got married between 32 and 35 and all eventually had babies.

          3. If you want to get married in your 30s, you gotta be dating in your late 20s and not hung up on an ex-BF.

          4. Eh, you don’t normally date for that long when you meet someone in your 30s. I don’t think anyone is suggesting she should be out of the dating scene for years and years, but you don’t have to jump back in *immediately* and panicking about timelines at 28 seems really unnecessary to me.
            And “get under someone else” usually refers to casual hookups which might be fun but isn’t the way to find marriage and family.

          5. If she meets someone at 29, date for a year or two, engagement for a year or so, then a year to enjoy themselves as a married couple before kids. She’s now 33 by the time she gets pregnant with her first, 34 when she delivers, and then probably 36 when she has her second.

            That’s the accelerated timeline, with no gaps for things like job changes, moves, family or health crises that make TTC not a great idea, fertility challenges, etc.

            Assume about six to seven years from first date to the time you have your second baby.

          6. Oh, for the love. I hope this is the same commentator who is obsessed with having a family and pursuing a man at the expense of all other things — if it’s multiple people, then we really are moving way, way backward.

      2. I think nobody wants this advice from their mom. It’s also not great advice to invite a bunch of rebound drama into one’s life.

        1. Agree. I think this is a really sweet impulse, mom, but I think you should lean in to whatever advice you have to give her as her mom. From my mom, I would love a sweet note telling me how loved I am and telling me that I will get through this and a sunny bouquet of flowers. From my girl friends I want drinks and flirting with randoms and sh!t talking and cruising his socials pointing out how terrible he is and if he has a new gf, how terrible she is. (LATER I would want validation that our love was real and he was great and I am great, we are just not great together, and wish him love and peace and a happy life… but in the wake of it I want shi!t talking lol!)

          1. Co-sign, esp the part about a sweet note from mom. Also, take her calls and listen if she needs you. Reassure her that this hurts but a breakup is not a failure, nor a statement about her ability to pick a partner or to be a partner, she is amazing and her life will be amazing, and there are other men out there.

    2. To plan something nice each weekend for the next month with friends but don’t over plan so you have space as well. And remember you can miss someone terribly even though the break up was still the right decision. Maybe a massage gift certificate so she can treat herself.

    4. Feel your feelings! The best art is about heartbreak; it’s a universal, very human feeling. Embrace sad songs and cry it out.

      For support, I’d just listen to her if she wants to endlessly talk about it. Obviously you are on her team but don’t badmouth her ex too much. Let her do that. And send her a comfortable, frivolous pair of pajamas in the mail.

    5. Listen to new music for a little while – stuff you never heard during the relationship. It helped me feel like I was entering an exciting phase of life and experiencing new things without him.

    6. Book a trip or something to look forward to. Take the rest of 2025 to focus on yourself, have fun with friends, and then get back to dating in January.

    8. Aww, breakups are hard. Tell her it’s okay to take time to be sad and feel her feelings and adjust to this change in her life. Don’t take too long– because there is a lot of fun freedom that comes with being single. I certainly took advantage of my single days with lots of travel, meeting new people and the extra time to pursue my own hobbies. Also, not sure what her current status is with the ex- but no contact is the best way to handle a break up. It’s tough at the start, but it really does help you move on.

    9. My very best advice is to go no-contact with the ex for the foreseeable future. The task she has on her plate at the moment is to break the attachment to that person, and she can’t do that if she is constantly in contact with them. So no “let’s be friends” for a good long time.

      Also, a long time ago somebody on here (I think it was on here) had a recipe for Breakup Cookies, which I think were just chocolate chip cookies with butterscotch chips instead of chocolate. You might want to send her some of those.

    10. OP here just checking back after a busy morning….Oh my! Such great pearls of wisdom here. For the record, she’s not overly convinced she wants kids, so I don’t think is feeling that pressure. And agree with the idea of what she wants to hear from a mom v what she wants to hear from her friends! He’s a great guy; we’ve met many times and they genuinely love each other. But I am so, so proud of her for recognizing that despite that, there are some real issues that she can’t compromise on. Man, I did not realize that watching your kid go through this would be so hard!!! parenting never stops….

      1. My mother was a complete jerk when I was going through a breakup. Shockingly so. You are a good parent for wanting to support your daughter through this

        1. I agree OP sounds like an awesome mom but not being a “complete jerk” to a young adult kid going through a breakup is kind of a low bar!

  2. I have an Eileen Fisher piece in this color and love it!
    The belt puts me off this one ~ whew~ saved me $200.!

  3. Looks mustard to me, not green!

    Question for the sewists: I have 2 athleta wide leg pants, the “Venice” wide leg regular and cargo. They fit well when I first got them a couple of months ago. Now the waistband seems to have stretched and they are falling down when they are supposed to be high-waisted. How should I best fix them so they don’t fall down? I have obtained thread with stretch. The whole waistband is elastic – so it’s not a channel that you can open and tack or cut and sew the elastic. I also feel like “putting in a stitch” to bring the waistband together at the back seam like my mom used to will make the back of the pants look weird. TIA!

    1. The fastest way? Make either a single dart in the center back of the waistband, or two darts (one at each side seam).

      The way I would do it if these were my own much-loved pants? Remove the entire waistband. If there is elastic inside the waistband and it is shot, I would replace it. If the waistband is just ribbed fabric that is stretching out, I shorten it by however much it needs, add elastic inside so it doesn’t continue to stretch out further, then reattach.

      For either option, ditch the stretchy thread and use regular all-purpose sewing thread.

      1. Agree. I would do the 2 dart method as it would most likely prevent bunching.
        If they are only a few months old elastic should not stretch to unwearable. It may be worth it to call customer service.

    2. To prevent this in the future air dry things with stretch, the dryer is an elastic killer.

  4. I am curious how other rettes would handle this. Yesterday the salon called less than an hour before my haircut to say my stylist had a minor injury and I would need to see someone else or come the next day. I chose the latter since I have a work event coming up and don’t want to risk it. Later they called me and told me the stylist is in the ER for something completely different and now my only choice is to see someone else. I told the salon manager I would prefer to just wait until my stylist was back and she said got upset. Apparently I lack compassion because the stylist is too busy and cannot possibly work me in now or ever. I had no issue with being rescheduled because of medical issues, but am I wrong to expect the salon to find a spot for me when she’s better?

    1. If she’s in the ER, it may be something serious, and they may not know when she will be back (days, weeks, longer). You could always say you’d like to make an appointment when she’s better, but you might not be able to make that appointment yet, or for a while. I would focus on compassion, rather than irritation. (and accept that you may need to see someone else if you need to see someone soon… if she’s in the ER and then comes back to work, she may need a limited schedule, for example).

    2. Kindly, yes you are being unreasonable. Going to the ER indicates this person won’t be available the next day. They are offering you an alternative and you are stuck talking about the person who is in the ER clearly dealing with an emergency.

      I manage a team. If someone is in the ER I’m expecting at least 2-3 days after, at a minimum, will be needed for recovery.

      1. Agree. I see your rationale that they should add you in, but what is actually going to happen is that everyone scheduled during the ER/Sick timeframe is going to have their appointment dropped and that when she’s well enough to come back, it’s going to be with the appointment book as it stands, instead of re-shuffling everyone.

        That stinks, but it’s the fastest way to move forward for the salon.

      2. This may not have been clear in my post. The salon initially offered the next day appointment when the stylist had a minor injury. When they called back and said it was more serious I said I understood and would wait until she was back. I was not demanding to be seen at a particular time, I just don’t like their other stylists. This is when I got the lecture about how a stylist’s day is scheduled and how important and busy this stylist is and I cannot possibly expect to see her in any time frame shorter than 9 months.

        2. But you say you have a work event coming up?? So you can’t wait indefinitely, right?

        3. 9 months is crazy, but my previous stylist used to book up 4 months out. She also canceled frequently. These are two reasons why she is not my current stylist.

    3. There is nothing to “handle” other than to make an appointment with someone else or wait until she’s better, which could take some time or may not happen depending on the injury or illness. Knee injuries to radical cancer. The salon may not know and certainly shouldn’t say. Be human and be glad it’s not you whose job where income depends on physical work is in upheaval.

    4. Sounds like the salon is trying not to overshare their employee’s medical info, and assumes you are being uncaring or obtuse (I’m not making a judgment about whether their assumption is accurate).

      I would give them the benefit of the doubt, call back and express compassion for your fave stylist, note that you hope she is okay without prying into details, and ask if it’s better to postpone for a few weeks in hopes that your stylist is able to return, or schedule with a different stylist for several weeks out.

      You could always cancel the other stylist if yours returns before your appointment.

    5. I think from the manager’s POV, it could come across that you were putting pressure on the stylist to be back or available within a certain time frame (especially if you mentioned you were wanting this done before your work event). And also, if they initially thought the stylist would be back the next day and it sounds like the injury was significantly worse than originally thought, she’s having to make a lot of these calls and may have heard similar requests multiple times already. I don’t think you’re wrong to make the request, and I don’t think the manager should have accused you of lacking compassion, but I would also let it drop and schedule with someone else.

    6. To be clear I wasn’t pressing for them to schedule anything until she’s back; the manager seemed offended I didn’t want to see another one of their stylists. She also made some condescending remarks about how I must have never been to a high end salon before (I have, and this isn’t one) and acted as if this is my first visit with the stylist. If any frustration is coming through, it’s with the manager’s attitude, not at all about the stylist being ill.

      1. I think there were missteps on both sides here. The manager was probably frazzled trying to reschedule and field calls about canceled appointments; you were concerned about not looking your best an important event. The manager definitely should not have been condescending. And if you truly just need a trim, it might have been better to just suck it up and see one of the other stylists.

    7. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to see your stylist and be willing to cancel an appointment rather than see someone else. Typical salon clients build loyalty with their stylist, not the salon. I don’t think you should press her back into service sooner than she’d otherwise be able, so I think if waiting for her is the path you want to take than you just have to politely say that they can call you when she’s back.

    8. Yes you’re being unreasonable. It also doesn’t even make sense to me… If she’s in the hospital, she probably doesn’t know when she’ll be back to work and if you need a haircut before a major work event, wouldn’t you need to go to someone else anyway?

      1. The event was less than a week out when this happened, so there is no way to get an appointment at another salon. I will have to go to the event with split ends, but I would still like to get it cut at some point before my next scheduled appointment in three months.

          1. That can fit in a new client the same week? Not where I live. I spent several hours yesterday trying to find one.

          2. Where do you live? I find this so hard to picture. I’ve lived in rural areas, suburbs and cities and salons are rarely fully booked out for a week solid.

        2. There is no way that you can’t get a haircut appointment in a week anywhere in your area with someone that has great google reviews.

    9. When you said you’d wait, did you (1) ask for an actual firm appointment, even if it was in a week or whatever, or (2) say oh so sorry to hear that, hope she’s ok, please call me when she’s recovered?

      If (1) you were too pushy. If (2) the salon is being weird.

      1. The first time when they said she’d be back the next day, I asked them to call me back and let me know when they figured out what time she could see me. When they called back and said it was serious, I did not ask for them to make me an appointment, just to commit to working me in when she got back instead of putting me with someone else.

        1. Your behavior is less rude than I thought based on your initial post, but I still think “commit to working me in when she got back instead of putting me with someone else” is odd phrasing. They don’t know (or can’t say) whether she’ll be back to work in 1 week or 6 months. 1) don’t you need someone sooner than that? 2) if she’s really out for months she’ll have hundreds of clients who want appointments once she’s back — it’s not just you and 3) they’re not forcing you to be with someone else — they’re offering it. if the stylist they’re offering doesn’t work for you, find a different salon?

          1. I have another appointment with her in 3 months as I go regularly. I will still need another appointment to get a trim soon to make up for this missed appointment, but it’s too late to get in with another salon to do that before the work event. I will just have bad hair unfortunately.

          2. So, I think this is the problem. They can’t “commit” to another appointment within the next 3 months. And yes, it’s a little unreasonable to ask for that. Presumably she’s booked full and isn’t going to be able to squeeze you in. So you can see another stylist or you can wait for your next scheduled appointment.

    10. I wonder if it’s really something completely different that sent her to the ER (like was the injury minor until the staph infection or something like that), or whether the salon is trying to downplay something as much as they can, but then also expecting the same compassion and understanding as if they’d conveyed how uncertain and worrying it really is? But my guess is that they’re holding off on scheduling her with anyone until the medical situation is resolved and that it’s uncertain currently how bad that situation is.

    11. Yes, you’re being unreasonable. They’re trying to accommodate you when they don’t know when she’ll be back. And you do sound like you lack compassion.

    12. Who said you lack compassion? I bet no one said that but you are glad to claim it as the victim. You are aware someone is in the ER? And the salon owner and colleagues are doing all they can? I’m sure you have compassion and it’s just tough for everyone and they’re trying to help their customers

      1. I don’t think she has compassion. She hasn’t expressed any concern for the wellbeing of her stylist, only her split ends.

        2. This is unnecessary. The question wasn’t about the stylist. It was about whether it was reasonable of the salon manager to get upset that OP didn’t want to see another stylist at the salon. She may have been frazzled and I wouldn’t read much into it, but the answer is no, you don’t have an obligation to see anyone else, it’s perfectly fine to say “that’s okay, I will just wait until Stylist is back and can fit me in.” If she doesn’t come back, the unspoken takeaway is you will find someone else — that doesn’t need to be said and would have been inappropriate to say in the first place.

          Sometimes it feels like you have to address every single conceivable ambiguity if you want to ask a question here. Just assume good intentions, people.

          1. Yeah, this. With the clarification above that OP was not pushing for an appointment in the near term, this is not something the manager should be irritable about.

      2. I think this is uncalled for. The manager said exactly that. I’ve said several times now that I am not upset about the stylist being out at all and of course I’m concerned about her, I am just annoyed at how the manager handled it. The manager herself shared the medical info and that the stylist will be back maybe as early as later this week.

          1. Honestly, or the split ends either! How fortunate to have this be a primary concern in one’s life!

    13. Are you sure the stylist hasn’t quit and the manger is lying about it? If she left for another salon or to open her own shop they may not want to tell you and are instead trying to get you to move to someone else. I experieced this once. See if the stylist has her own instagram or website where she posts her info.

        1. Okay, that gives a little more color to the interaction. Is it possible that whoever you talked to is trying very hard to figure out how to hold it together while their boss is unexpectedly incapacitated for an unknown amount of time? They very well might be panicking about whether their boss/friend is okay, whether their own livelihood is at stake, what to do with all the disgruntled clients who they have to call, etc.

          Assuming you described your interaction accurately and honestly, I don’t think you deserved a rude response. At the same time, yes, I think you are wrong to be so focused on whether you should feel offended at how you were treated. Compassion would go a long way here.

      2. I had a similar thought, which was that the salon may not want to save a chair for this stylist if she’s going to be out or on a limited schedule for a while. So, they’re trying to switch her clients to other stylists while she’s out, and then they’ll let her go. Everyone is assuming the salon/ manager is doing their best, but my experience with salon owners who rent chairs is that they’re pretty cutthroat and take advantage of the stylists. Based on OP’s description, it seems like the manager is applying a lot of pressure to get her to see another stylist.

    14. I think the right answer would be “I’ll just cancel my appointment and call back to rebook in the future. Wishing (stylist) the best!”

    15. I think you need to have the baseline expectation that it won’t be until your next scheduled appointment. Without knowing her actual medical issue, it may be that while she is back, she may not be able to work full days. If you want to see that stylist (which I understand, I want to see my stylist), I would just set the baseline as I hope she feels better soon, I have my regular appointment scheduled on x date, please let me know if there are openings in her schedule prior to that.

      The stylist in this case has more incentive to keep you personally on her books while the manager wants your portion of your service for her income so she doesn’t really care who you see in her shop. She is also protecting her bottom line too.

    16. I think there’s miscommunication between what the salon was trying to tell you and what you heard. They are likely saying that she is in a medical crisis and had a long recovery that may make it difficult or impossible for her to come back. You heard something different.

      Find a new stylist at a different salon AND send the current stylist some flowers. If you need to call the salon to ask for her information (hospital etc, not medical info!), really focus on your concern for her well being. Say you have found someone to take care of your hair in the meantime and that you value your stylist as a person and want to wish her well.

      1. I have tried to post this but it didn’t go through. The manager way overshared about the health matters even when I asked her to stop so I know what’s going on. She also told me the stylist will be back no later than next week which tracks with her condition, which I am not going to post. It isn’t a months away from work situation like some of you are suggesting.

        1. So if your stylist typically books up months in advance, she very well may not have any openings to offer you before your next scheduled appointment three months out.

          You could ask if there is a waitlist in case anyone cancels, but you might just have to accept that there isn’t an opening to slot you into. You come across as though you think the salon is doing this at you.

  5. Help me use my words. I’ve been doing an annual project as a consultant to ABC business, as a subcontractor through 123 Company. I’ve been paid $25k through 123 Company each year. Last year, 123 Company told me they were only able to pay me $24,500 because the scope was modified. I agreed to it. This year, 123 Company is telling me “we are pleased to let you know you will receive $24k for your portion of the project!”.

    There has been no scope change. 123 Company gets a premium in my time and I know they are charging $$$ to the client. I want to be paid what I was paid last year. How do I word this? FWIW, I’m dealing with a middleman- the project manager for 123 Company- who will have to run it up his chain.

    I know it’s only $500, but also, it’s $500. (And as I’m typing this out, I would happily donate the actual net amount to a worthy cause, I really don’t even need the money, but I’m just annoyed that every year they’re shaving a little bit off and making me eat it when I know 123Company is making a huge profit on my work!).

    Does something like “since there has been no change in scope, my rate will continue to be $24,500 as it was in 2024. Please let me know if you would like to move forward.” Work?

    1. Yeah no. Tell them your costs have gone up. 3% increase was standard for same work when I was in audit which is low margin. I’d go back with a 5% increase, saying $25,725. If they push back tell them last year you should have increased your portion last year and billed overages. This year this is the cost and if there are any changes to scope we will discuss the cost of that separately.

      1. Yes, it is crazy to think your cost would go down, rather than up. And especially given the rate at which other costs are going up right now, they are lucky you’re not asking for a 10% increase!

    2. What does your contract say? I would say something like “Contact, this note came as a surprise to me because the rate we agreed on is $25K. Unlike last year, when we agreed on an adjustment, this year there were no scope changes. Please let me know if a quick call would be helpful.”

      1. I get a contract once we sort out the deal each year which is where we are now. So theoretically they could just find someone else to do it(they won’t).

        1. ohh so this is their proposal for upcoming work? I’d counter with 3-5% more than last year.

          1. Agree with this. 5% more than last year. I work on a lot of annual services and contracts for companies and we never go down in price, unless there is a significant reduction in costs. And if there is ever a year to increase your rates, it’s right now – everything is more expensive.

            Also, just a pet peeve rant – we are a small company and it’s always big companies that try and pull this type of BS – like they dictate the terms of our service/rates/terms. Most of our work is for cities/municipalities who never do try and dictate terms. I always push back on the big companies, because they are not actually the boss of our company (and frankly not at all our core business, but they need our services), we set rates and they can pay them but they don’t get to be different for them because big company unilaterally decided.

            And don’t over explain or apologize. If it’s a company that is big enough for a chain, they should be used to annual price increases. Possible script:

            “I’m looking forward to continuing to work with you on ABC project! For 2026, please see attached proposal which reflect my current rates for this work. Would you please adjust our contract for 2026 accordingly?”

            FWIW I just did this with two of our customers and the answer is always, yes of course. You can do it!

      2. annual project sounds like annual contract renewal.
        OP, I think your original wording is fine. My job involves discussing scope and pricing with subcontractors regularly.

    3. Do you not have a written agreement that addresses your rate and any annual increases? Are you performing the work first and then letting them tell you what they will pay you for that work?

      Without having any idea of your industry, vendors I manage commonly have annual rate increases backed into our agreement, anywhere from 1.5% on the low end to 8% on the higher end. Most common across my vendors is 3%.

      1. No, neither. Each year they double check that their client wants the work done, then come to me and we contract for it. Like, “hey, do you still want us to wash your windows this season?” “Yep!” “Okay, Anon, they are a go for this year are you available to help? Same deal as last year, 52 windows.” Two years ago, they wanted 52 windows instead of 55, so I was informed the rate was going down (and I agreed to it last year).

        So they could not contract with me, but that would be a huge PITA for them since I have 5 years of tenure doing this.

        But no, I have not and certainly would not do any work in advance without a contract or payment!

        1. Are they unilaterally trying to change the rate that they already agreed to? Or trying to pre-announce what rate they want to pay for future work?

          For the former, point to the contract and require them to abide by it. For the latter, you can be professional yet firm. You can take a few different angles – for the rate they propose, you can provide X decreased amount of work. If they want the full Y amount of work, your fee for 2026 will be, say, $27,000. You don’t need to explain or justify the increase, you can just state your rate. You don’t need to just accept their silliness.

    4. I think the wording itself is fine. Why would you agree to discount your rate if the work hasn’t changed? If they bid the work for less, my perspective would be for them to take it out of their profit.

    5. LOL. Update: I am getting paid what I was paid last year. My email got an immediate response of “Okay! Here’s the contract.”

      For those of you suggesting my rates should go up- for other clients that would be very true and I typically have a 5% escalator in my work. In this one scenario, there are some other Things at play and it’s a really, really sweet deal for me. I just didn’t like that they were trying to shave a random $500 off.

      2. I should have read to the bottom of the thread before replying above! Glad it went well! :)

  6. Best Travel Pro suitcase that’s one size up from the smallest Away wheelie bag? Mine is just not cutting it for multiple suits on longer work trips.

      1. I agree. Mine has survived much international travel. I should have bought it much sooner than I did.

    2. Also: has anyone ever used the Travel Pro laptop totes? I murder my laptop bags from overstuffing on trips and am wondering if something more from a luggage brand would work better? I don’t have Tumi money though but now appreciate how much sleeker they look. Still, I don’t think that people care about what a bag looks like if it is fresh and not falling apart (not my current state, so looking to shop).

      2. I’d recommend the expandable Le Pliage shoulder bag, though it seems to be a Nordstrom Anniversary Sale exclusive item so you’d need to wait or look for a secondhand one. Zipped up it’s a standard tote size, but unzipped you get a good chunk of additional space for things like headphones, a heavier wrap, charger bag, etc.

  7. What are your workplace norms for handling cold/flu symptoms in 2025?

    I told my boss I’d be working from home today in an attempt to not spread whatever bug I’ve got to my colleagues. They seemed surprised and disappointed since there is a catered lunch event today.

    Aren’t group lunches the exact place where you wouldn’t want to see a sick colleague?

    1. I think we just have fatigue from so many people abusing WFH and also noping out generally for self-care.

      2. No, this kind of crap has been pulled for decades. My boss used to get mad at people for being sick and not coming in anyway.

    3. I WFH so if I have commited to coming in I generally don’t cancel those plans unless I’m demonstrably ill (positive flu/covid, food poisoning, etc.) or if there is a family emergency. If you’re in the office most days then yes, they’re overreacting.

    4. IDGAF re norms. If I’m sick I’m staying home and if you’re sick I *really* want you to stay home.

      2. +1. This is one time I truly don’t give a sh1t what anyone else thinks. Especially when I just got a cost-of-living adjustment for the first time in two years of 2.8%.

      3. Tread carefully if you value your job. I declined to go to an event in 2023 when I had a positive Covid test and a high fever, and it’s *still* being brought up negatively. I can’t imagine how they would have reacted if I’d stayed home with a cold and no fever.

          1. I value having a job, yes? I have bills I have to pay. I don’t think the majority of employers would be happy about an employee missing an important thing for a cold. Maybe the OP’s thing is not that important and she can skip it without any issue, but the “IDGAF what my employer thinks, I’m not being in the office while sick” attitude is not realistic for most people who need a job.

    5. Flu or Covid – stay home no matter what
      Cold – I’m primarily WFH and would be expected to go to our big in-person meetings, but my workplace has them rarely, 2-3 times per year and they’re a BFD that you don’t miss unless you’re REALLY sick. If your team has monthly lunches I’d hope they’d be more understanding of staying home with a cold.

    6. depends on company culture. At mine, most people come in with a mild cold since leadership really wants you in on the office days… so they get their ‘credit’ for having come in. But then they hide out and dial into meetings to avoid coughing on people. It’s great! /sarcasm

      1. Haha your office tracks badge swipes and gives executives credit for compliance too? Its so creepy.

        1. Well I’m filmed when I work from home and they do random audits to check your efficiency.

          I’m constantly pulled aside for being inefficient and just smile and nod. I need a job but I’m actively looking for a new one. The owner told me I was stealing his money because I paid a bill without his approval. It was his personal storage room bill and I had asked him to approve it multiple times. They were about to cut him off and he yelled at me for letting it get delinquent.

          He didn’t like it when I told him that it’s not stealing if no money was taken and nothing fraudulent was done. I sent 8 emails and left the bill on his chair 4 times for his approval over a 3 week period.

    7. I still remember my office trying to plan a catered lunch to discuss the plan going forward mere days after sending us all home in March 2020. You understand that contagion can happen at lunch, but I really believe that not everybody has this concept.

    8. If this is a catered lunch for just your colleagues, I’d stay home.
      If this is a catered lunch event for clients or something – if it was a cold and not flu, I might max out on Dayquil and stay in the background/leave early.

    9. My next door colleague came to the office recently when he was clearly ill, terrible cough, etc. My boss stopped in my office and heard him, then told me to WFH because she didn’t want me getting sick. She suggested he go home, but he was determined to suffer publicly and infect the world in the process.

      2. My best friend gets only 2 weeks of PTO per year (and few holidays) so people often come in sick. Her coworker recently came in with a fever and looking like death and she said “it’s so unfortunate we don’t have more time off” and he responded with “actually I have plenty of time off I could have used but I chose not to.” 🤦‍♀️

        1. This is why single-pot PTO is terrible. The incentive is to come in sick to preserve PTO for vacation. I now have separate sick and vacation leave, and surprise surprise people stay home when sick.

          1. Yup. That’s my comment and I hate single-pot PTO and think it’s discriminatory.

          2. Single-pot PTO is terrible if and only if it is too few days.

            My firm used to have separate buckets, something like two weeks of vacation and 5 days of sick leave. As a working mom to an elementary kid I basically never got to take a sick day for myself because I burned them all for my child, and vacation time was not allowed for day-of use. So many people came to work really sick because of that stupid, arbitrary policy.

            I now get 35 days of single-pot PTO a year and would never go back to having it split. I have enough to stay home when I am sick and still be able to take meaningful vacations during the year.

          3. Vacation time should be generous (20+ days per year) and sick time unlimited (with a mechanism for transferring to disability when needed). People with kids, disabilities, and elder care responsibilities deserve as much vacation time as their peers with fewer demands on their time.

          4. +1 to the 1:21 poster. I have 5 weeks of vacation and unlimited sick leave and think that’s ideal. I would not want to go back to a one pot system even if the pot was very generous. I’ve used a lot of sick leave in the last few years between kids, myself and aging parents (the latter is expressly permitted by employer’s policy). It’s really frustrating to feel like you’re burning potential vacation days on sick leave even if the total amount is generous.

          5. Exactly. Even if it’s a generous amount, it won’t be enough for the people with the highest care needs and the incentive to come to work sick will still be there.

    10. My office culture is reasonable and flexible, so if I am truly sick I will stay home and take PTO, or WFH if it’s a scenario where I can still function but don’t need to sneeze all over everyone’s catered lunch.

      If I am mildly under the weather and have a lot of work to get through, I might max out on cold meds, keep my door shut at the office, then leave early. We have a culture where people are encourage to dial in to meetings if they aren’t sure whether it is allergies or illness, even if they are present in the building. It seems to be a good balance.

    11. I also like how we’re all just pretending that it’s always “a cold” when no one is testing for COVID anymore. I just hope we don’t all end up having strokes and heart attacks in the next 20 years because of all these repeat Covid infections.

      1. Mortality stats are definitely not back to pre-pandemic norms yet at least for my age cohort. I think we’re all just pretending in general!

      2. Thank you for this comment.
        People coming to work sick and then complaining on calls that they got the bug from a colleague who came in sick is next level delusional.

    12. A cold and the flu are two very different illnesses! Some push through a cold (especially because they can drag on for so long). But absolutely nobody should be coming in ever with the flu!

    13. I’m in tech, and the norm is very much “Please stay away from us when you are ill. Come to the office if you really need the extra monitor, but stay in your office and we’ll run zoom meetings so you can join remotely.”

      Even if there are systems that are significantly more difficult to access when working from home, it’s better to get some work done without getting the rest of the team sick.

  8. Finance update that I can’t share IRL – I’ve been paying down a combination of medical and consumer debt and at the end of the month it will be under 5 figures. I should have it fully paid off by May 2026 according to my budgeting software. We’ve also agreed to a more pared down holiday gift exchange and my kids aren’t doing travel sports in the spring which will all help!

    3. I’m so excited for you! It’s so hard out there and it’s great to hear this news.

  9. Anyone want to do some online shopping to help me find a dress for a wedding? A family friend is getting married in three weeks, and the ceremony will be outside. My daughter is a flower girl and will be wearing a royal blue dress. All of my cocktail dresses are in blue, and I worry that wearing blue makes it seem like I’m trying to look like part of the wedding party. And I’ll be 14 weeks pregnant at the wedding so many of my clothing are starting to not fit great around my stomach.

    Anyways, I’m looking for a dress that will look nice with royal blue and is not tight in the middle. Probably looking for a size 16 (I was a 14 pre-pregnancy). I would prefer short sleeves but that’s not a dealbreaker.

    1. To give an idea of what I like, I have this dress and love it. Unfortunately, it is basically the same color as my daughter’s flower girl dress. If it wasn’t for that, I would just wear this.

      https://www.thredup.com/featured/202537175?department_tags=women&referral_context=google_pmax_pla&referral_code=adwords_pla&iv_=__iv_p_1_a_23029508057_g__c__w__n_x_d_c_v__l__t__r__x_pla_with_promotion_y_8908102_f_online_o_199944684_z_US_i_en_j__s__e__h_9007543_ii__gg_6610942528_vi__&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=4&gad_campaignid=23029511699&gbraid=0AAAAADCdW5CMRFhxBQVU_WrmIBrAXunFE&gclid=Cj0KCQjwl5jHBhDHARIsAB0YqjxibdxFk3iIGL6QnPtxzZKVTOH1SxNdwpOztiG1ej5tCwHBi9yPW8gaAhrdEALw_wcB&featured_item=202537175&text=Royal%20blue%20wrap%20dress%20with%20flutter%20sleeves%20and%20a%20high-low%20hemline

    2. have you asked the bride if she cares if you match the flower girl? as she is your daughter she may mind less than otherwise and honestly most wedding guests dont know what color the flower girl is wearing so a person could end up in blue regardless…

    3. I might not wear ROYAL blue but would not think twice about wearing other blues! Navy looks nice next to royal blue, but is obviously not matchy, if you have something in that color.

      1. I was thinking the same – a darker blue, or a blue-family print, would be fine. Burgundy is also nice with royal blue.
        A few options pulled from Nordstrom:
        – Dress the Population Corey – depending on where the waist hits you
        – Chelsea28 Long Sleeve Satin Midi dress
        – Kiyonna Verona Velvet Gown (might be too wintery depending on region)
        – Anne Klein Abstract Print Twist Front Long Sleeve maxi – kind of a wild card, but looks forgiving of a small baby bump

      2. Unfortunately, all my cocktail dress dresses are more royal blue than a navy blue. And if I have to buy something new, I figured I might as well stay away from blue altogether.

    4. Assuming your daughter is in solid navy, I would do something patterned with navy in the pattern. Similar to of these maybe:

      https://www.nordstrom.com/s/print-puff-sleeve-satin-midi-dress/7701796?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FMidi&fashioncolor=Blue&color=400

      https://www.nordstrom.com/s/mesh-stretch-midi-dress-with-pockets/8603942?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FMidi&fashioncolor=Blue&color=400

      https://www.nordstrom.com/s/abstract-print-cold-shoulder-midi-dress/8296464?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FMidi&fashioncolor=Blue&color=465

    6. When I was a bride, any obviously pregnant guest basically had a free pass to wear anything remotely resembling appropriate wedding guest attire. I would not have cared if they wore a white gown if that’s what fit. Your blue dress looks lovely.

      1. I think that works for someone who is 8 or 9 months pregnant. At 14 weeks, many people are still in that “are they pregnant or not” phase.

  11. Fun question. My daughter attends a college with a strong Norwegian heritage, and she will be touring Norway next year. What are some Norwegian-themed items that would make good holiday gifts? She is allergic to wool, so unfortunately the traditional sweaters are out.

    3. Lingonberry jam?
      Aquavit if you feel comfortable giving her alcohol
      You could also do general travel-related things she’ll need for her trip that aren’t Norway specific

      There is definitely handmade clothing you can buy there that’s wool free but she might want to buy it on her trip.

      1. Ha, I don’t think I am giving a tiny 18-year-old aquavit. Travel items are good though.

    4. Norwegian here :)

      If you have access to an online store with Norwegian snacks, you want to try Freia Melkesjokolade (Freia Milk Chocolate), Nidar Bamsemums (Nidar chocolate covered marshmallow bears) or Freia Kvikklunsj (Norwegian kitkat style chocolate).

      You might also want to try Norwegian brown cheese, this is a sweet brown cheese that works well in sandwiches with jam, or with butter on waffles.

      She can get her own sweaters when she’s in Norway, in a synthetic material if she wants.

      If she would like to see some Norwegian tv, there is “Harald and Sonia” on primevideo (Norwegian The Crown) and “Home for Christmas” on Netflix. You might find the crime series Wisting as well.

      An art book about Edvard Munch, a nice daypack for use for hiking, hiking boots, a no ads DuoLingo year…

      1. So I LOVED Home for Christmas – do you have any other Norwegian shows like that one to recommend??

    5. Andreas Viestad of New Scandanavian Cooking has a few books/cook books that I’ve enjoyed. Loved his tv show, too!

    6. She’d be better off buying Norwegian stuff in Norway, so I’d suggest travel gear, books about Norway or by Norwegian authors (I’ve only read Ibsen, Jo Nesbo, Karin Fossum, and Norse mythology, but I’m sure you can find other ideas based on what she likes), and some fun Norwegian foods like brown cheese or chocolate or candy or whatever else you can find here. A store like Ingebretsen’s in Minneapolis has all this stuff, but I don’t know how easy it is to find elsewhere.

    7. The Sigrid Undsett series Kristin Lavransdatter. Get the Tiina Nunally translation. It won the Nobel Prize for Literature back at a time when it was shocking for a woman author to do so (1920s).

      Also, make lefse together!

  12. Have we discussed whatever happened to J.Crew Factory? For years it was a key retailer for me with a good chunk of my wardrobe coming from there, but they haven’t released any new styles in…5? 7? years? And the styles they do offer are basics with no creativity. I miss the old JCF!

    1. Maybe I’m boring but I get most of my clothes there especially t-shirts and 100% cotton sweaters.

      1. I love that JCF actually has cotton sweaters. That’s my strong preference, even in the coldest parts of winter because my skin hates the feeling of wool!

      2. Same it’s still my go-to for t-shirts and sweaters. I don’t need (or want) new styles of these things. They’re classics.

    2. They used to be similar to regular J Crew but at a lower price point. But you’re right that now they’re basically that but 5 years ago. It seems like it’s working for them with a certain demo so maybe they don’t feel the need to change.

    3. I find Banana Republic Factor’s quality and style to be much better than JCF these days.

    4. On the contrary, I always find something I want to buy at JCF. But, I will own that my sense of style is more classic and not super exciting.

    5. I think JCF fit is lousy and the fabrics are not great. Other than white tshirts and cotton cardigans i regret and don’t wear most things i’ve bought from them. their summer stuff is too heavy….

    6. I’m loving JCF for its reliable styles that fit the same year over year. They almost always have a colorway that works for my skin tone and coordinates with my other pieces. I get frustrated when a retailer that worked for me one season completely changes gears.

      Perhaps its your personal style that has changed?

    7. I walked in and out of that store in 10 seconds. Nothing appealing. Plain to the core.

    8. Where I see them as a way to fill the basics in my wardrobe like sweaters, cardigans, etc. I get my creative options other places.

  13. For the person asking about scarves recently, Andrea Linett has a good post on her Substack about them.

  14. How will you be dressing this winter? What shoes are you styling wide leg trousers with?

    1. So far this fall, flat loafers. Not sure if I will keep that going through winter, but I am not feeling so enthusiastic about Chelsea boots as I was in recent years.

      How are you styling wide leg trousers?

    2. pointed toe flats, elongated toe mary jane flats (my preference is for the strap to be more of an accent near the toe, vs. a functional toddler style strap near the ankle), low-profile sneakers, pointed toe low block heels or boots.

      I am still seeing lug sole loafers around but don’t like that look on me, but it’s an option if you feel differently.

    3. I think I’m going to try out combat boots with thick tights and flowy skirts/sweaters for winter this year. Our office is currently doing a confusing dress code on the line between business casual/casual so I think I can get away with it. I just don’t see wide leg pants being good in wet winter weather.

    4. I’ve mostly been getting better/sturdier versions of things I wear regularly. With the world on fire, I’ve been thinking harder about getting stuff to last instead of chasing novelty.

    6. I live in a climate with true winter, and outdoors winter shoes with wide-legged trousers is difficult to style. I suppose you could lean into a clunky 90ies look, but I didn’t enjoy that first time round either.

      If I find some high-quality winter leather boots with a fitted sock style leg, I might get some, but I’m not optimistic.

  15. I had a pretty messy breakup at 27. I did not have such an understanding mom. She basically rolled her eyes and said I told you so! My advice looking back 12 years later, married with kids –
    – cut off all contact with the ex, block phone number, FB/insta everything. Keep linkedIn if you really want but only as a professional network.
    – throw most of the things away that remind you of him, delete photos/txts/chats.
    – Keep max 2-3 physical items packed away in a box and shoved in back of the closet.
    – Archive/delete all emails.
    – My ex had moved out of state, so there was no chance of running into him. But move to a different neighborhood if you are renting.
    – Focus on self-care. Join an expensive workout studio, go to as many classes as you can. You will never get this amount of free time once you are married + have kids. Make the most of it.
    – Declutter, organize your house.
    – Eventually, this ex will be a distant memory that won’t hurt as much and you won’t even remember. I was cleaning my gmail account last year as it was close to 99% full. I deleted years of chat history (from days of google chat), emails, photos from archive just to free up space. I didn’t feel anything, didn’t even bother to read or look through them. I just wanted it done before my toddler woke up and felt no different than ton of other spam/promotion emails.

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