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I misplaced my latest preferred mascara the other day, so I grabbed one of the sample/travel sized mascaras I keep for just this purpose. This was my first time trying bareMinerals' Strength and Length mascara, and I have to say: I'm really impressed by their weird wand!
I've had fluffy wands… teeny tiny “telescopic” wands… bulbous wands… but this is the first time in my memory I've tried a wand that is so unusually flat on one side. My eyelashes tend to be short and straight, and they love this wand for application — the flat side coats and separates them, and then I can use the spiky side for more precise application at the roots or tips.
It's kind of like the difference between a wide, cushioned hairbrush and a more compact brush, if that makes sense.
(Interestingly, a lot of the Sephora reviewers cite the brush as a major con — if it helps for more information about my eyes/eyelashes, every single other mascara I've ever tried transfers onto my lids, and this one doesn't. But I tend to do a really light mascara application in general, and rarely more than one coat because they always get clumpy on me.)
I also like that it's a vegan and cruelty-free mascara, with ingredients that include a “red clover peptide complex” for “powerful strengthening benefits.” The Sephora page has some info to suggest that this mascara will lengthen eyelashes, which if it does I'm delighted by since it's the only lengthening lash product I've tried that doesn't make my dry eyes worse.
Nice! It's $22 at Sephora, Ulta, and others.
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Anonymous
My son is having problems in pre-algebra because he’s horrible at details / going slowly. Can anyone recommend any ways to strengthen these skills (beyond a better attitude)?
Sunshine
Could taking supplemental classes with Kahn Academy help?
Anonymous
I was looking at that or teachers pay teachers but they’re subject based like scatter plots or whatever. This is more methodology… he says he understands the concepts just goes too fast.
(He may well be adhd but if so very mild.)
Nesprin
Any chance its ADHD rearing its ugly head?
Either way- Here’s a few ideas: Highlighters/underlining? Reading out problems aloud? Reading problems backwards? Make sure the environment is working for him- is he distracted/bored? More exercise? More breaks?
Anon
Out loud and backwards makes sense. At my firm, on very important documents, two paralegal would sit across a table from each other, each with her own paper copy of the document, as one (the reader) read the document sentence-by-sentence, starting at the end of the document, while the other (the checker) listened and checked it against her copy. People found many errors that way that the eye just skips over on screens, when reading in your head, when reading beginning to end, etc.
Anonymous
I am now having flashbacks to law review team reads.
Senior Attorney
+1 we called them red reads and blue reads, after the colored pencils we used to make corrections.
Anon
If he knows the concepts, then this is just growing up. How often do we complain here about junior associates who don’t proofread? He needs to deal with the consequences of not proofreading his work, which is poor grades.
Please resist the temptation to parent out of every obstacle. Children need to learn natural consequences and face mild disappointments.
Anonymous
Exactly this.
Children do far better in life when they are given space to solve problems like this on their own.
Anonymous
Not if they actually have ADHD.
Nesprin
+1 Being told you’re lazy or careless over and over when its your brain chemistry is really damaging.
Anon
OP never said her son has ADHD, but if I had a nickel for every time someone brought up a behavior and someone else responded with “ADHD” just on this site alone…
Anonymous
I must have missed where a diagnosis was mentioned…? ADHD is not the reason behind every problem.
Also, I never advocated calling the kid lazy or careless, Nesprin, I’m curious about why that’s the direction you went.
Anon
+1 and I’m assuming he’s in 8th grade at the oldest if this is pre-algebra, so this is a relatively low stakes age for him to deal with the consequences of poor grades.
Anonymous
just checking – you know this is a rage inducing comment, right? i’m guessing you don’t say this kind of sanctimonious crap IRL
Anon
Nah, it’s true. Not my post and I agree with it completely.
Anon
+1
Anonymous
Are you opposed to teaching the child how to proofread? As in, help them strengthen their skills. As in, exactly what the question asked. Or is that an innate skill. Shall I ask my 1 year old to check her work tomorrow.
Anonymous
Yeah, helping a stuck child learn skills to get unstuck is called parenting.
Tea/Coffee
Depending on the kind of problem they are doing, suggest that he go really slowly, write down every step, and basically act like his math homework is getting grades for handwriting.
YMMV – but I always went really slowly bc I wanted my work to look neat. When I help my DD with algebra, I tend to catch things – reminding myself how to do this stuff gahhhh – bc I am writing down each step.
I do not think it’s overstepping or helicopter parenting to suggest tips tricks and life hacks along the way. I learn by writing things in longhand. Others learn by reading or hearing or whatever. Suggesting study methods is a good thing, I think.
Anon
Algebra will go much better for him if he learns to show his work. That will also provide concrete evidence of whether he actually does understand the concepts or if he’s just lucky guessing. I know not all teachers or current methods require showing the work these days, but doing so is such a valuable part of really learning the math.
Anonymous
Maybe these would help if he has adhd
https://www.specialstrong.com/effective-adhd-focus-exercises-that-improve-attention-and-concentration/#:~:text=The%20Coin%20Game,ask%20them%20to%20memorize%20them.
Anonymous
Teach him how to check his work – to prove to himself he got the right answer. This skill will serve him well for the rest of his life.
Anon
Maybe your child could have an after class review with the teacher, a 1-1 tutoring session private or school sponsored (maybe a child 1-2 grades above), or you could find (or teacher could recommend) some teaching videos to watch online. (Maybe the local high school or university knows of resources). I remember when I struggled with math and science concepts at that age having someone else explain the problem slower, more thoroughly and being given the chance to practice solving myself and asking clarifying questions helped a lot. Sometimes seeing there are different approaches to solving the problems is helpful in seeing the value of slowing down. At times-depending on the study habits/motivation-reviewing concepts with a classmate or a few in a study group was also helpful. Best of luck!
Anonymous
Hire a tutor. Worked wonders for my son.
Anon
Does anyone get leftover/lingering discomfort after heartburn? I had a bad episode last night and no longer feel the burning but have residual soreness in my throat/chest
Anonymous
Maybe look up silent reflux and see if the symptoms ring a bell?
Anon
You may be having ongoing reflux at night while you sleep, and it can cause injury/chronic inflammation to your esophagus etc.. over time. Or as you said… a bad episode that irritated your esophagus/stomach so much you still feel it. I’d take an anti-acid now to cool it down.
Do you take a daily medicine now to decrease acid/symptoms?
Have you talked to your doctor about it?
I would start sleeping on a wedge (or put a brick/elevation under the feet at the top of your bed), be sure not to eat 3 hours before bed, think about what the trigger foods are for you, and consider taking an H2 blocker (over the counter) until you get in to see your doctor.
OP
I don’t usually have problems! Last night around 8:30 it just popped up and was so bad. Much sympathy to those with chronic refulx
Anon
Oh, then I wouldn’t be too worried. Did you have a heavy/greasy/unusual dinner? I would take something like a TUMS if I felt the initial symptoms like that to try to neutralize it. But wouldn’t worry at all at this point.
Yeah, reflux can be mild to very unpleasant…. it can be so painful for some that they think they are having a heart attack and go to the ER!
Cc
Does anyone have a jewelry box they love? I don’t need anything big at all
Anon
I LOVE my Wolf Jewelry box. I have the Caroline in the light pink. It’s probably bigger than you want but they have smaller jewelry boxes in different materials. Mine is very well made and just very, very pretty.
https://www.wolf1834.com/caroline-large-jewelry-case#93=31
Anon
That is so lovely!
Runcible Spoon
I LOVE the Wolf line — I have several stacking trays with dividers that I keep in a drawer.
Jo March
I love the stackable system from the container store. It’s customizable because you choose each layer and they have several color options. Pricier than I initially wanted, but I’ve had it now for four years and have bought one more layer as my earring collection grew and it works perfectly for me.
Anon
Same! Stackers from container store are great
CK
I have and like this system as well.
Anonymous
Yes! But. I found it in a second-hand store. I paid $8 for it.
If that’s something you’re open to, I see really nice ones all the time, many different styles, and very rarely more than $10.
anon
Check out Fable England if you like whimsical English countryside themes. I have the dormouse velvet box and it’s small but so pretty.
Anon
Anyone been to Kohler Waters Spa? I live in the area and am going for a girls’ weekend in April. Any recs for spa treatments? I’m not much of a spa person and have never had anything except basic massages, but they have a really big menu of treatments, and I’m open to trying something new.
hollypolly
Anytime you can combine a hot bath or Vichy shower with a massage after, I HIGHLY recommend it. Starting with warm muscles means your massage therapist can get right into the tissues without having to coax them to relax.
Anon
I have no great recommendations, because I haven’t been there for years, but just commenting to say I love Kohler Waters, and hello to my fellow Wisconsinite.
Anonymous
buy the robe! it is wonderful.
SC
What protein foods do you send for your picky kids in their lunchbox when they don’t have heating or cooling options (beyond an icepack), and cannot eat nuts? I am crowdsourcing because I am out of ideas with a particularly picky kid who won’t eat cold cuts, cheese, or really any kind of sandwich. I usually do a bento box type thing of things he likes, but STRUGGLE to get protein in there. He’ll eat hard boiled eggs, and possibly also edamame. Won’t eat rolled turkey/ham, won’t eat cheese sticks, won’t eat yogurt…I’m sure there are other things too, but I’m having a hard time thinking of them. He likes a good number of things, but seems that all need to be heated (i.e. pizza, chicken nugs, salmon, steak, etc etc etc) Hoping to crowdsource some ideas to try out.
Anon
Will he eat things like fish or grilled chicken cold? Kids often don’t care about things being re-heated.
Sunflower butter?
Anon
Hummus or roasted chickpeas? Other bean dips?
Anonymous
My son would eat meatballs and things like that at room temp for years, but now prefers them in a thermos.
Anonymous
Also, turkey pepperoni
Anonymous
Hummus and carrots
Cowboy caviar salad
Pancakes or waffles made with cottage cheese in the batter
Falaffels with a dip
Cold pizza
Breakfast or refried bean burritos
anon
+1 on the falafel and hummus
You said no cheese, which I’m assuming means the texture is an issue. Would Whisps or the Whisps Cheese and Pretzel Bites be acceptable? I had to buy some as a faux dinner at the airport recently and both kinds are loaded with protein and very filling. They are salty, but if the goal is to get him to eat protein, they will get the job done.
Otherwise, have you ever tried beef jerky? Or the kids Clif Zbars? Or any of the other kid-versions of protein bars that are made with pea protein.
Anonymous
I don’t think any of the items you mentioned need to be heated except chicken nuggets, which could be substituted with cold/room temp grilled chicken.
anon
-kidney beans
-marinated tofu (Hodo 5 spice if you can find it is great)
-cold lentils and veg can be yummy, over brown rice or with a slice of toast
-black beans and veg over brown rice or with tortilla chips on the side
Anon
This might sound weird for a picky eater, but what about pieces of tofu, either plain or baked? My little brother was a super picky eater, but he actually liked raw tofu because it was suitably bland for his tastes.
Anon
Yeah, kids often don’t care about things being re-heated in my experience. We sent cold chicken nuggets and cold pizza for my 6 year old daughter.
Anonymous
cottage cheese
yogurt
hummus
bean dip
peas
nuts
protein shake
Anon
Yogurt? We also like sprouted grain bagels which are like 10g per bagel.
Senior Attorney
Greek yogurt is particularly high in protein
Anon
Not sure how old your son is. We have this issue too. We send all of those items you suggest cold and they get eaten. We also do cream cheese though I don’t think that’s actually much protein.
Anon
my kid will eat lukewarm chicken nuggets, a pasta/bread/bagel that is higher in protein, my other kid eats cold egg tacos. salmon i htink also tastes fine cold. my kids eat lunch at 10:15 so i odn’t worry too much that the ice pack isnt enough
Anonymous
Chobani makes shakes that have 20g protein plus active cultures – Sam’s club and Costco both have them in bulk. (Dark blue bottle is 20, the white bottle is 12 I think.)
Fairlife chocolate shake (30g)
Nut packets can have ok protein but it varies.
If you want him to be full for longer would he eat high fiber things like fiber one bars, popcorn, or a quesadilla (made hot but served cold) with a high fiber (or high protein) wrap.
Also – those fitcrunch bars (yellow box) really do taste like candy bars and have 16g protein
Barilla protein pasta can also be served cold I guess
Vicky Austin
I loved those dark blue bottled yogurts when I was pregnant!
Anon
Pasta has a not terrible amount of protein and you could add whatever else he’ll tolerate for a room temp pasta salad- cheese, meat, chickpeas, edamame, tahini, pesto (usually has nuts, but can easily be made with pumpkin or sunflower seeds instead).
anon
Will he eat a croissant? My super picky grown husband has similar “dislikes” (including cold food) but will make a croissant sized exception (with deli meat) to the no sandwich policy. Also, will he eat chicken salad?
Anonymous
Since his cooling options are erratic, pasta and rice is best avoided for food safety. I would not eat room temperature stored pasta salad.
Anon
I don’t think I’ve ever met a kid who won’t eat CHEESE!
Anonymous
I’ve got one! She’ll eat shredded cheese, but not sliced, cubed, in sticks, or melted.
SC
TRUST ME!!
The kid won’t eat mac and cheese (or any other pasta, actually), or any other form of cheese UNLESS it is on a hamburger.
Anon
My kid will eat cream cheese and cheese pizza, but she hates all other forms of cheese including cheese on burgers, mac and cheese, and cheese sticks. It’s baffling to me, because I love cheese, but they exist.
CrowTRobot
Solidarity with OP. My 5-year-old won’t eat cheese except on pizza. No mac and cheese, grilled cheese… Really limiting with restaurant kids meals!
NYCer
My 5 year old also does not like cheese at all.
ToS
A favorite chicken or tuna salad with an ice pack?
Z bars are ok on protein
Seasoned foil pack of tuna
Mix Special K Protein cereal in with a rice crispy treat recipe.
Anonymous
Kids only need something like 13-15g of protein so sometimes I just don’t worry about it for lunch, knowing there will be some amount in whatever I’m sending- but mine will drink milk and will eat whole wheat bread. This particular kid can eat nuts, but we aren’t allowed to send meat to school with the exception of certain fish (for kosher reasons).
Anonymous
Same, lady, same. I just sent turkey jerky in today and I’ll see how the reviews are at pickup.
SC
I did jerky for a long time, but it is now also disliked!
Anonymous
Two ingredient pancakes. (1 banana+2 eggs in a blender and then fried as usual. If you want a little more fluffiness you can add 1 T flour and 1/4 t baking powder.)
Trixie
chicken nuggets can be eaten cold, after they are cooked. add ketchup for dipping! What about cold hot dog slices?
Anon
Does he do cream cheese? That’s a pretty decent source of protein especially if you put it on bread that’s higher in protein like Dave’s Killer Bread. But I also second the comment that kids don’t need as much protein as you think.
hollypolly
Cold salmon is delicious! Especially smoked salmon. And cold steak is fine.
Anon
My picky eater who refuses sandwiches and has a nut allergy and a bento box with an ice pack eats all of the following cold:
grilled hamburger
grilled chicken
pulled/shredded pork, beef, or chicken in various iterations, including BBQ and taco
ground beef taco meat
ground pork sausage
salami
Today was leftover grilled chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-A.
Ginger
My kids are older now but we’d get them to eat things if we let them put a topping on the item: sprinkles, Nutella (Trader Joe’s brand), granola, etc.
E
Can someone help me find something I keep striking out on? A shirt to wear under suits / blazers that 1) is v neck or scoop neck (cannot be high neck or even rest on my neck. I have suddenly become super sensitive to this) 2) is not tight or form fitting (I have a big belly unfortunately) and 3) comes in xl, xxl or size 16? I would prefer with actual short sleeves but sleeveless would be ok
Anonymous
Costco often has nice blouses from Hilary radley in the spring – v-neck, short sleeve, washable, belly friendly, definitely up to xxl if not 3x
Anonymous
https://www.costco.com/hilary-radley-ladies'-blouse.product.4000196457.html
Anon
https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/products/E424873-000/00?ranMID=40462&ranEAID=7m8EnekPF5E&ranSiteID=7m8EnekPF5E-3hj8CrelXfCq4FLIUK1KbQ&utm_source=Rakuten&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=The%20Wirecutter&nodeeplink=true&colorDisplayCode=34&sizeDisplayCode=003
Anonymous
you wear that under suits!?
Anon
Not the person you’re replying to, but why not?
Anon
I just bought this and it runs small/tight. Also the neckline is binding, so it definitely doesn’t meet OP’s criteria.
Anon
You might like the cowl neck shirts (come in SS and LS) from Saint & Sofia. They lay nicely under blazers and are loose in the neck. Their size 18 was enormous on me (I’m a 1X/2X), so I think you’d be fine with a US14 from them.
Anon
Talbot’s has their pima cotton t shirts in a vneck in several colors. The fabric is really nice and thick and holds up to frequent washing well (I line dry). Their xl is a 16/18, and they come in plus sizes as well.
Anon
No specific recs, but try Banana Republic Factory – they have a lot of work-friendly solid color tops up to XXL.
Anonymous
maybe the ann taylor mixed media top? they come in lots of different patterns and sleeve lengths – https://www.anntaylor.com/clothing/tops-and-blouses/cata000010/607051.html?priceSort=DES
NaoNao
The MM Lafleur “Rowling Top” is my go-to to wear under suits or blazers. It’s cut on the bias, cowl/draped neck that is to me the perfect height (not too low, not constricting) and comes in tons of colors. It goes up to a 2X I believe, but runs a touch big so an XL is about a true 14/16.
Anon
How much are people paying for a haircut? For highlights / balayage? I’ve seen haircuts go for $200 and highlights for $400 in my VHCOL city…
Anon
That seems standard for VHCOL cities. I pay $120 for a cut in my HCOL city.
Anon
I think haircut and full highlights is about $350 where I live.
Anon
Same, for just below the shoulder hair.
Anon
$90 in a VHCOL city, but I have short hair.
Anon
Cut only!
Anon
$60 for cut in MCOL
Anonymous
In my salon, HCOL (close-in NOVA), my curly cut is $175 and highlight and glaze is $210. Every time, I am surprised, because the cut takes about 10 minutes and the highlights take forever. (Yes, I know it’s skill and experience, but wow).
Anon
Yes, I’m in a HCOL and unless you want a very inexperienced stylist, this is not far off unfortunately
Anonymous
I live in a VCHOL city and pay $120 for the haircut and $225 for partial highlights, plus tax and tip
Anonymous
With the disclaimer that I don’t go to an upscale salon for my haircut. I pay $34 including tax and tip.
I live in a HCOL area and upscale salons are easily in the hundreds for those services.
Anon
VHCOL (bay area) and my hair dresser since probably 2012ish has gone from $60 to $120 for a cut over that time. I couldn’t keep up anymore, so I asked a neighborhood friend where she gets her hair cut because her hair always looks decent. I now pay a lady $45 cash including tip. She seems to mostly do men’s cuts but she does a great job on my hair.
I stopped getting highlights during the pandemic, but that was $90 for partial highlights at my old place.
Anon
Edited to add: the $45 is cut only. She sprays my hair with water but doesn’t wash it. I’m fine with this as I’m trying to wear my natural waves anyway.
Anon
$600 for haircut and full head highlights in NYC.
Anon
MCOL and I go to one of the walk-in national chains. I pay $25 including tip just to get the ends of my long hair trimmed even a few times per year. Grew it out because the cost of keeping up with my former pixie style was bordering on the absurd.
Runcible Spoon
In DC, at a high-end salon, but with a stylist I have been seeing for 15 years or more:
Blowout – $65
Haircut – $90 (although she charges others $150)
Brazilian blowout – $500
Sasha
$180 for a cut and gloss dye in a HCOL which is a bargain to me. I’ve been going to the same hairdresser for years though and followed her to various salons so I suspect I get a bit of a discount.
Anon
How annoying is living in a walk-up while pregnant / with a baby?
My husband and I own a condo on the 4th floor – right now, it’s very livable for us, but when we bought it, we knew it would need renovations if we decided to have children while living here. We’re likely 1-2 years out from trying, but we’re starting to think if we want to move. Financially, most options are on the table – we can afford to renovate, and we’d likely sell our place and rent in the city for a few years once we were pregnant and then move to the suburbs.
We LOVE our place – it’s really a gem, and we’re both in good shape. However, having never been pregnant or tried to schlep a small child up 3 flights of stairs, I can’t tell if staying there is a terrible idea that we’ll regret.
Anon
Terrible idea. Move.
Anonymous
x 1000000000000000000000000000000000000 Move
Anonymous
Does your apartment allow stroller parking in the lobby? If you’d have to bring it up to your apartment absolutely not.
For some women being pregnant can include pain when walking up stairs, but not all. Baby wearing would also be easy going up/down stairs. If you mostly drive and wouldn’t need stroller that often (or could keep it in the car) then that would be fine.
Anonymous
Can you store the stroller downstairs? They are a huge pain with steps. Also relevant, the average weight of a 1yo is ~20lb (about 2.5 gallons of milk). Kids learn to walk at about that age but he/she won’t be up to 3 flights of stairs. You know if this would be a problem for you or not.
Anon
I can’t even fathom coming home from the hospital post-birth, with bleeding and swelling and pain and possibly a c-section wound, and having to lug myself and a newborn in a carseat up 4 flights of stairs.
Anon
Obviously there are many women who don’t live in ideal conditions and don’t have the luxury of improving them who deal with this kind of thing and end up just fine.
Anon
Yes of course! But we’re talking about someone who has the means to move.
Anon
The husband would be carrying the carseat and baby.
I heard a lot about how horrible stairs were post-vaginal birth, but it wasn’t that bad for me as I’d feared, and I had a pretty bad tear. (I live in a single family home, but our bedrooms are on the second floor and the kitchen and dining areas are on the main floor, so I went up and down the stairs frequently beginning at 2 days postpartum. As long as I took it slowly, it was not bad.)
Anonymous
I did it.
It wasn’t that bad. My husband carried the baby and all the stuff and I just walked myself up.
anon
At minimum, it’ll be annoying at times, but lots of people do it and it can be fine if you have supports and backup plans.
If you have complications in pregnancy/childbirth or if you/spouse ever sprain your ankle, break your arm, have a stretch of post-viral fatigue, or otherwise have health issues that make stairs difficult, what are your backup plans? It’s one thing to slowly hobble up stairs on one’s own and another matter if you also have to carry a little human who may not be patient.
If the parent who does daycare pickup sprains their ankle, do you have someone who can help get baby up the stairs at the end of the day? If childbirth is complicated and you can’t manage stairs for a month, can you, spouse, and baby stay somewhere else?
Anonymous
You are already use to the stairs on a daily basis so it may work for you. I live in a four story townhouse. Baby’s room was on the third floor and I was fine despite a c-section. YMMV. Everyone has different stressors on maternity leave. Mine was breastfeeding rather than the stairs.
Anonymous
I was on the 3rd floor for my first kid, we sold before the second arrived. It’s totally doable. You need a baby “catcher”, ie place to put baby safely alone while you run up and down with groceries and whatnot. So you bring in baby, plant them, then bring in all the other stuff. Or take everything out while baby is planted, then get baby last. Clearly much easier if you have a nearby parking spot/garage. And can you store stroller in garage or lobby? Both make things easier.
I had an irrational fear of dropping baby on the stairs, so always carried baby in the bucket car seat up the stairs. Baby never walked up the stairs in their own (common stairs are grimy, not sure I would have wanted baby to).
Anon
I’d give it 1-2 years before deciding. I’m sure women all over the world do it. A parking place for the stroller is a good idea. Or maybe your car is right outside the front door and that’s where your folded up stroller lives.
I had a hard enough time with the 9 steps to my front door with my stroller! But I had a twin stroller and I also had sacroiliac issues from pregnancy that continued for several months after birth. You never know.
Cat
The dealbreaker for my similarly situated friends was secure space in the entry area to keep the stroller.
Anonymous
We lived in a thord floor walk up apartment for four years. Two of them while pregnant and having a toddler. It wasn’t as much of a pain as I thought it would be before I got pregnant.
Anonymous
If you are used to it, I don’t think it is a huge deal, especially if you can store a stroller on the first floor. You adapt. You minimize trips and the kid learns to walk up stairs on its own young. I live in NYC and have friends in this situation. I certainly would not move now; wait until you have a child and decide it is a problem. I think childcare is likelier to be the deal breaker.
Anon
A friend dealt with a fourth floor walk up while pregnant and parenting two little kids. Having ground floor stroller storage is critical. If the pros of your place outweigh the cons of moving, you’ll make it work.
Anon
Are you going to look for a nanny? Nanny candidates are not going to like the walk up.
Anon
Isn’t it really standard in NYC?
Anon
Baaaad idea.
Anon
I had a multiple stairs situation in that life stage. (Though not 4 flights…).
I think pregnant you are fine.
With a baby, I agree with everyone that whether you can store a stroller securely on the bottom floor, either in the building or in a car trunk that will always be there close by on ground level, is key. That is the one thing that I really would not want to haul up and down stairs. Keep in mind strollers are pricy (hundreds if not thousand+) so it needs to be secure, our neighbors had theirs stollen.
The only other thing I haven’t seen mentioned is, are either of your parents local? Do you think you will want them to help a lot? What shape are they in? When we eventually moved it felt like almost more of a relief for grandparents than us with our young toddlers.
I think the end answer though is if you are financially flexible to do something else I would before you reach babyhood, and I certainly wouldn’t throw money at a remodel for this if the fundamental walk up issue is not fixable. We were in our situation given little other choice, as I imagine most others are.
What Gift Say You Are Amazing and I am in Awe?
My younger sister and I get along fine but we have never been really close. That is partly because of our 10 year age difference and partly because we are just such different people who live such different lives. Among other things, she was always Miss Prim and Proper who was a cheerleader in high school, sorority girl in college and is now a church every Sunday, married SAHM with three kids who never cusses, never raises her voice, and never loses her temper. Definitely a people-pleaser.
Which makes the fact that this weekend she called our mother’s long-term boyfriend a “geriatric gigolo” and told him he needed to mind his own f*cking business and stop criticizing me particularly hysterical. That she did it in front of our mother was the cherry on top. We are in the midst of a long-standing dispute with our mother which we suspect is really driven by him over our grandparents’ trust and I am being blamed for our mutual position, partly because my mother cannot believe that my perfect sister would ever disagree with her, dispute the fact that my sister has told her we are in agreement multiple times (no mom – we are not going to let you use the fund corpus to support your boyfriend and no we are not going to agree that he can continue to collect the income if you pre-decease him). This weekend my sister just exploded with everything she has clearly been wanting to say for a year and it was magnificent.
So what do I send her as a “you are a bad *ss and I think you are awesome” gift? Flowers seem inadequate.
Anon
I’m not sure but I love this story! Good for your sister for standing up for you, and good for you for recognizing how awesome it was.
anon
If she likes flowers, I think flowers seem perfect. If she’s not a flower person, then maybe a gift basket with some consumable she enjoys–coffee, tea, chocolate, fruit, etc.
emeralds
Agreed, that plus a thoughtful card sounds perfect to me. And OP, reading your post brought a big smile to my face. What a bada** move from your sister.
Trixie
OMG! a great tote bag filled with the ingredients for cosmopolitans!!?? Go her! And hang tough.
Vicky Austin
+1 ooh this is a good idea, and good luck to you both navigating this!
Nesprin
I’d lean towards something more permanent than flowers or consumables for this- you want to let your baby sister know how much her strength means to you.
A piece of jewelry?
A throw blanket or an art?
A “make a thing” type class to take together?
Anon
So amazing that she did that! I like the idea of flowers.
Card: You. Are. A. Badass. Love, Sis
Anon
Love this story. Recommend searching Etsy for “badass woman” for inspo
Anonymous
That’s awesome! I leu of a gift I would call her up and tell her how supported you felt at that moment.
Anon
Agreed that flowers and a cards are great.
Alternative – one of those morse code necklaces spelling out bad*ss or something similar – see Etsy for options? Quick search shows one for Best F*ing Sister.
Anonymous
Reply lost in the internet but I’d call her up and tell her you felt really supported by what she said. If you think this is true, tell her she stood up for your deceased grandparents too by forcing your mother to abide by their wishes.
Anon
Agree with the flowers and card. She seems like the person who would appreciate a beautiful spring-is-coming bouquet, and in the card you can give your heartfelt thoughts.
Your relationship with your sister sounds like my mother with her older sister. I couldn’t help but imagine your scenario playing out with my aunt and Mom. It made me want to call up my aunt and tell her I loved her, which I would never normally do! I hope that’s what you tell your sister.
Honestly, no matter how different we are from our siblings, they are the only ones that ride along beside us our whole lives. While my brothers have frustrated me many times over the years, I do what I can to preserve those bonds.
anon
Your sister is a total baddie. Love this story!
Nananon
I have nothing helpful to contribute, but good for you for sticking to your guns, and three cheers for your bad *ass sister!
Seventh Sister
I’d send her a funny, you-go-girl kind of card and enclose a gift card to a store she likes. That’s so great!
Anonymous
Whine: In order to cancel my monthly donation to a local abortion fund, I had to make an account that gave me a PUBLIC profile on their website along with my real address and name. I think I went in and deleted everything personal after cancelling my monthly donation, but it annoyed the he!! out of me.
Anon
hmmm… I would actually call them to complain about this.
Anon
When you signed up for a monthly donation, there would have been language about how to cancel it. If the listed procedure doesn’t match up with what you had to do (and I’m guessing it doesn’t), you can add that to your complaint.
Anon
For the future, you can contact your credit card company and they can probably help.
anon
I’m looking for a shorter hip-length trench coat, or something similar that would look good with work clothes. I have a standard trench but now that styles are changing a bit, I’m feeling like I’m in the mood for something else. Bonus points if it’s a nice color (cannot do anything beige or camel). Would love any recs that you have!
anon
Forgot to mention this would be for spring/fall.
Cat
Halogen’s Crop Trench jacket at Nordstr-m? Navy.
Anon
I’d check Boden, Hobbs, and Barbour for this (the Brits do rainwear really well!). I’m being stalked by a brand called ‘Rain Sisters’ on instagram – I can’t speak to their quality but the stuff sure looks cute if you live hyper femme details. It’s a bit like if Love Shack Fancy made raincoats.
Anon
Talbots has a short trench in pink. They ususally have one to two colors per year that come out in the Spring. I have a bright blue one from last year that got a lot of wear.
Runcible Spoon
There was a post here a couple of days ago about a brightly-colored trench coat, and when you clicked on the link, there was also a shorter-length version available. Maybe that could work?
Runcible Spoon
Here you go, a link to a Kate Spade short trench coat in pink, navy, or khaki (the longer-length version was featured in the weekend post last weekend): https://www.nordstrom.com/s/kate-spade-new-york-water-resistant-double-breasted-trench-coat/7698313?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=250