Coffee Break: Dash Tote Bag

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1. From the home improvement thread this morning, how do you balance prioritizing savings over home projects? Obviously improving your home is also an investment, but there’s every extreme between deferred major maintenance and going all out on super high-end improvements.

   I’ve tried to cash flow everything and economize on other extras while paying for the project. I know some people who believe that’s exactly what home equity is for. I feel like my house could suck up every spare dollar if I let it.

   Just curious about others’ balancing/ approach.

   1. I generally try to prioritize other savings over home projects. If we have something in mind then we can make it happen either with cashflow or some intentional saving for a few months. I do have a little tiny account in a HYSA where i stick $25 a month for home projects because we don’t have any projects on the horizon, but that goes up sometimes.

   2. I prioritize savings. I would rather retire earlier or with more saved or after having more vacations.

      I was startled by that prior thread. I am middle aged, and shocked that people with toddlers / young kids were thinking about dropping thousands on repainting the entire interior for small things, nevermind for a kitchen refresh. I also live in an area where houses are older (>100 years) and I think folks prioritize differently.

      I also think that some people are doing very well financially in the current economy and/or with family money assisting, so it is hard to really compare.

      1. I commented late on that thread, but painting is time, money, and hassle, and I just can’t bring myself to care about it that much.

      2. I’m the one who paid just under 7K for interior painting and we’re very glad we did it (the institutional gray that was there before was godawful), but we certainly won’t be doing it again anytime soon. We’ll do touch-ups if our toddler does any serious damage and if the color isn’t perfect, oh well. I also don’t know anyone who repaints every few years.

   3. We are generally able to cash flow maintenance items (roof, HVAC, etc.) as long as too many things don’t break in the same year. A few times we’ve financed when it was no interest or minimal interest, mostly as the money made more elsewhere. For more home improvement stuff, we are both very handy and do a lot of the work ourselves.

      But, then again, this morning’s conversation shocked me about how many people pay for painters (inconceivable in both our families).

   4. I also prioritize savings. Our house is a new build and is 11 years old now and we’ve spend money on critical items like a new water heater and repairs when the A/C went out.

      Painting would be a challenge because our foyer and living room are open to the top floor so to repaint that would require hiring professionals. They’d probably need some kind of scaffolding to get to the top. I just don’t care about spending that kind of money on something that is just cosmetic.

   5. We earn enough to not have to make this choice.

      1. I mean, it’s always a choice. As long as you’re earning your money, you’re still making a decision about whether to spend or to save toward not having to work.

         1. Fair enough. I prioritize having a nice place to leave and keeping our homes in pristine condition. So yes, I spend in this category. I also have established relationships with contractors and painters so it’s easy to do.

      2. 100% agree it’s always a choice. even if you make 7 figures a year you’re choosing between other investments and your house

      3. It still speaks to your priorities.

         1. I’ll comment again, I think money is to help you live a nice life now as much as it is to deal with problems later. So I have no problem spending money on things I value like a nice home.

      4. I’m OP of the morning thread and same. We’ve paid for everything to date out of cash. All savings are on or well ahead of track, no debt but a low mortgage, and no parental support, since it was suggested. I just can’t figure out if I want to prioritize or not, which I realize only DH and I can decide. Despite earning enough to not have to make this choice on paper, I still struggle to make it!

      5. To me, it’s not just the money. Even using a great painting crew, it’s a major disruption unless you’re just having one or two rooms painted. Kids and WFH jobs make that disruption unappealing, especially since it’s not a necessary home improvement.

         1. +1 that the disruption makes me hesitant to take on house projects unless they’re important to me.

         2. This! We did a lot of work on our house before kids. But now with kids and WFH jobs it would just be way too much of a disruption for anything that’s not essential.

            1. Yes, I can’t imagine.

   6. Lights are too bright and drinks are too slow if I’m thinking about whether my host’s paint looks touched up to me.

      1. +1

      2. Yes please

   7. We max our retirement accounts first and spend the rest, so it wouldn’t come out of our savings, it would come out of our budget for travel and experiences. And generally I’d rather travel than pour money into my home. So, we don’t put much money into our home. Caveat that we bought a well-maintained 15 year old home and repainted the interiors, renovated the kitchen and finished the basement when we moved in 10 years ago and have generally taken good care of the home, so it’s not falling into disrepair or anything and I’m not ashamed to have people over.

      The one area of our home that is objectively bad is our backyard, but that’s a $100k+ project (I got quotes a few years ago) and we don’t spend enough time out there to make diverting $100k from savings or travel worth it to me – we don’t entertain outdoors much and mosquitoes make it very unpleasant to be out there in the warmer months. It will be one of the first things I do if/when I inherit from my wealthy parents though.

      1. Mosquitoes are a scourge. I grew up only encountering mosquitoes when camping, so I didn’t know they lived in places where people lived until I moved to the horrid muggy east coast.

         1. yeah it’s one of my least favorite things about where we live (Midwest). A lot of our neighbors spray but I don’t love doing that with kids and pets in our house, plus I don’t think it’s great for the environment in general. If we ever get the budget for a big backyard reno, I want a sunroom or screened in porch because I’m more of a “looking at nature” person rather than a “being in nature” person.

         2. My mosquito problem basically disappeared when my neighbor took down a row of towering pine trees. I do miss the shade, but apparently pine sap attracts mosquitoes like nobody’s business.

   8. I prioritize savings and paying off the mortgage. Every house project we’ve done (painting, general yard work, general repairs) has been cash flowed. I’d really like to remodel the kitchen bc it’s a 1988 house with somewhat dated features, but that will wait until we’re mortgage free.

   9. We cash flow everything we put into our house. We set aside money every month for regular maintenance, and though monthly outflows vary. I use the rule of thumb of 1% of the value of the home and consider this part of our fixed housing costs. We tend to use it up pretty quickly though, so we probably need more in there for the big, inevitable projects like a new roof.

      For optional/cosmetic renovations and furniture, we don’t buy it until we’ve saved up for it. We have a healthy amount in emergency savings and are comfortable with our investment rate. Anything for the house would be a trade-off with vacations and other experiences.

      I’d only borrow or spend out of emergency savings for a true emergency. I also don’t treat any improvements to my house as an investment. We’re planning to be here a very long time, and whatever we do today is unlikely to appeal to buyers in 10 years, let alone 20 or 30. Even if that weren’t the case, few renovations actually add as much value as the homeowner puts in.

      1. Strongly agree with your last paragraph. Most renovations don’t add nearly as much value as they cost, and if you’re planning to stay there for 20+ years, anything you do today (excluding essentials like a new roof) is going to be hopelessly dated by the time you’re looking to sell. Especially kitchens. Our home is our forever home and we update it because the updates will make the house nicer or more functional for us. We never think about resale value.

      2. With less expensive homes, 1% of value per year barely covers basic maintenance, let alone replacement of things that wear out. I would say you need to budget more like $20K/year to keep up with the fact that most mechanical systems and building materials only last 15-20 years max, often much less.

         Our house is worth $500K. Last year we spent $4,000 just on bat exclusion, plus far more than $1,000 on things like replacing worn-out light switches and supply valves, the termite contract, etc. The year before that, every appliance (washer/dryer, refrigerator, range, dishwasher, microwave) had to be replaced within a six-month period. This year we desperately need to replace the driveway, the windows, and the entry doors, replace some rotted siding/trim/decking, and have the exterior painted. We could never have saved up for that by allocating just $5,000 a year to maintenance. We also need to replace the wood floors, paint the interior, and redo the original 1993 kitchen and bathrooms, but all of that will have to wait.

         1. $20k every year for maintaining a normal sized house is crazy to me! We have never come close to that, and I can only imagine getting in that ballpark if we needed a new roof, which is (hopefully) a once in a generation expense.

            Our house is worth around $600k and 1% feels pretty accurate to me. In the last few years, we’ve needed a new furnace, a new fridge and new exterior trim, all of which were in the $1-2k range but those things didn’t happen all at once. I think even if you include more optional outsourced maintenance (biweekly lawn mowing from spring through fall, landscaping seasonal maintenance and gutter cleaning) we’re pretty much always under $6k/year. We could easily have a year where we exceed it if several smaller things broke at the same time, but we have lighter years too where we don’t come close to that amount.

            1. Our furnace was $8000 20 years ago.

            2. It depends, old house vs. newer house makes a big difference.

2. Any recommendations for slip-on sneakers? I have a pair of Kiziks that are just OK and they don’t have my size in the style I’m interested in (wide feet). I’m looking for casual sneakers to wear with shorts and not for intense exercise.

   1. i’ve been eyeing the Xero slip on sneakers – i really love the other pair of shoes i have for them, they’re one of the only purchases i’ve made in the past 10 years where they were an immediate yes after trying them on.

   2. Sketchers

      1. I have multiple pairs of Skechers and I like the slip-in kind the best.

         1. How do they run size-wise?

            1. I find them true to size. I wear a 6-6.5. They also offer wide width. Bonus that I’ve thrown mine in the washer and let them air dry. If you want to shop in person, DSW usually has them and also Kohls. If you’re in the midwest, Meijer has them too.

      2. Sketchers are so comfortable, but even the ones branded for walking are destroyed in under 6 months. The quality is terrible. Do you just wear them around the house or something?

         1. I have Sketchers from before the pandemic that are barely showing wear. They are a poor-girl version of the Fly London bootie things in a suede-like fabric and I have no complaints.

   3. Nikes fit my feet better than any other sneakers, and I love their EasyOn options. I’ve also had good luck with On Clouds but they’re a little less stable for me than Nikes.

3. My extended family farmed forever, with each parent being the first to go to college. IDK what to do with their diplomas. Neither was ever framed, but I found them when I was cleaning out their house now that they are gone. It seems like such a monumental thing for them both and I’d like to not just put them into a folder where my children will maybe stumble upon them when cleaning out my house decades from now. I thought of putting each into a simple frame and using as a rearmost decorative item on a shelf that already has framed family pictures on it (but in the foreground).

   1. there’s no question here to answer but i think one should frame things that are personally meaningful to them which these clearly are. go for it.

      1. I agree. I think framing things is a good way to preserve things and mark them as important even if they don’t get hung up immediately.

   2. I like this idea. Do you have any photo albums (physical or digital) where you could store an alternative? I might add a note on the back either way to document the significance of the achievement so future generations see it as well.

   3. I worked with a lawyer who had her late father’s law school diploma framed in her office. I thought it was pretty interesting.

      I have a gallery wall in a casual area of my home that has kind of random things like this framed: a portrait of my son by my grandmother, an antique postcard of our town, the bracket from my husband’s high school wrestling championship win, the save the date postcards from our wedding, ect. I like stuff like this. A friend once cut out my favorite passage from a book and framed it for me, it’s about our area for the country. My dad has the handwritten deed from a building his great grandfather bought in the 1860s framed above his mantle.

      1. I have a love letter from my grandfather to my grandmother framed and on the wall. It references a town for their honeymoon that the rest of the family loves today, to boot!

   4. KonMari says to display your keepsakes instead of keeping them hidden away in a box. I like your idea of using them as a backdrop on a shelf if you don’t want them hanging on a wall.

   5. For whatever reason, we have my husband’s great grandma’s high school diploma hung in our living room. I don’t mind it as a point of interest!

   6. I think you should frame them. For adding as a backdrop, hang them on the back wall of the shelf, rather than using a frame with an easel leg like your family photos. The change of depth will make them more interesting in your display.

4. what weird things do you brnig with you when you airbnb? my list includes my own pillow and knee pillow, a full bottle of my preferred lotion, and lately i’m adding a thick towel/rug to bring with me since i’m inevitably throwing down a thin washtowel or handtowel to use for the floor.

   1. So sounds like you bring an additional large suitcase when you fly?

   2. Please for the love of whatever deity you’re into stay in hotels.

      1. Not till they’re better.

         1. Still better than an Airbnb.

            1. I like supporting people who are trying to make their in-law suites and ADUs pay for themselves before their mom needs to move in. I don’t like supporting AirBnB, but I don’t like supporting hotel chains either.

            2. The last hotel I stayed in did not have a usable mini fridge (it was stuffed with overpriced snacks and drinks to the point that there was no room for anything else), did not have a microwave, and charged me $7 for a bottle of water and $40 to park, on top of the resort fee. On top of that, I could either share a bedroom with children who go to bed at 8:30 or pay $$$$$ for a suite. And sitting in the hot tub after the kids were asleep was obviously impossible since I could not leave them alone in the room.

               Sometimes I stay in a hotel (travelling alone; just staying a night or two; someplace where vacation rentals are illegal). Sometimes I stay in a vacation rental. I have had good experiences and bad ones at both but let us please stop acting as if hotels are universally so much better.

            3. The mini fridges are always an issue since they aren’t reliable for keeping meds at temp while traveling.

            4. agree with 7:07 – so many reasons why airbnbs are better for our family. my older son has misophonia for the younger son’s chewing/smacking noises, including the ones he makes while sleeping. then the younger one is autistic with a million sensitivities (noise, smell) and picky diet. plus usually multiple toilets.

            5. This is why I am a devotee of Residence Inn and TownePlace Suites. Extra space, full size refrigerator, microwave, coffee cups to make tea that doesn’t involve a gross coffee maker….

         2. Omg hotels are way better than Airbnbs

            1. For you . . . they are better for you. The number of people who are unable to understand that their experience of the world is not universal is honestly remarkable. I frequently travel with family and having separate spaces and a kitchen makes the trip so much better. Try sharing hotel room with a partner and two children under 10 and then come tell me how much better a hotel is.

               I have stayed in dozens of Airbnbs. I had two not great experiences (one was safe and clean but missing a lot of amenities another had the most uncomfortable bed I have ever (tried) to sleep in). I have stayed at hundreds of hotels and had a handful of not great experiences (did not feel safe; dirty; noisy; mystery charges; overbooked so I was moved to a much less desirable location; etc.). Which one is best as a category depends on the person and location (and your ability to sift through Airbnb listings – the one lacking amenities was 100% my fault). Dismissing other people’s lived experiences with an “OMG” is not helpful.

               OP – I always ask what kind of coffee pot they have and bring the appropriate coffee. I also always have zip lock bags to store leftovers.

         3. Hotels are so much better. I’d take a basic Comfort Inn or Hampton Inn over most Airbnbs, and the vast majority of hotels are nicer than those brands.

            1. I have a few favorites that I would return to.

               I truly despise that hotel smell though and it’s so hard to avoid.

      2. Seriously. If you have to travel with your own makeshift rug that’s a sign you should use hotels. At least hotels are predictable. The amenities and photos listed online are accurate, you don’t pay a cleaning fee despite stripping your own bedding, and if is something is missing they’ll deliver it to your room.

         1. The bath rugs at many hotels are also basically just hand towels, no?

      3. also for F sakes this is like praying to baby jesus for hot coffee or whatever that old SNL skit was. one hopes your deity has better things to do.

   3. I don’t travel that much, but I would just buy large items like that at a nearby Target (in situations where a store like that is available). I do always bring my own skincare but in smaller containers.

   4. Not much. That’s one of the big advantages over a hotel.

      If I’m driving, it’s not that different than a hotel—I still like to bring my own pillow and a throw regardless. Because I have more space at an Airbnb and can spend more time privately in a yard, I’m more likely to bring things like a playpen to take outdoors for my dog. Possibly my container to grill vegetables.

   5. lol i’m the OP – should have specified this is a long drive to my MIL’s rural township. closest motel is 25 minutes away and was so creepy my husband pushed the dresser in front of the door the one time he stayed there.

      1. This feels like when people advocate for taxis over ride shares when there never ever was any taxi service where someone lives in the first place.

      2. Then this is a really odd question. Your packing preferences are far outside of what any of us do. But clearly we are not driving to an isolated rural area with poor comfort options.

         1. Yeah the framing of this question is weird. Makes sense that OP needs a ton of stuff in this situation but that’s a very different question than “what do you take to an Airbnb?”

         2. OP is not the only one who sometimes goes on trips to rural locations (??).

            1. I dunno, I live in a rural area and also have family and friends to visit in rural areas and unless she’s exaggerating about the hotel situation, this sounds pretty extreme. Small towns don’t have 5 star hotels with fancy restaurants and spas, but most people live less than 25 miles from a decent and safe hotel.

            2. Most people don’t live in rural areas period.

               Sometimes we need a place to stay just to break up a trip, so it really is the middle of nowhere.

            3. Rural locations with hotels are not the same thing as rural locations without hotels.

               If I’m going to a rural location, it’s for a national park, college, mountains, midpoint of a long drive, etc., and those areas will have decent hotels.

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