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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 164 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Liam Long-Sleeve Colorblock Sheath

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Black Halo Liam Colorblock Sheath DressThis colorblock sheath has so much going for it — I love the flattering but modest silhouette, the mixed fabrics (you have to zoom in to appreciate the sweater knit at top), and two lovely conservative colors. A+ all around. The dress is $390 at CUSP, available in sizes 0-12. (I'm also kind of in love with those heels, which don't seem to be for sale at CUSP. Anyone have any leads?) Black Halo Liam Long-Sleeve Colorblock Sheath Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. AN

    This reminds me of the dress over shirt type of styling, though the black on black makes it less obvious.

    Though the thought of long sleeves in this weather is stifling….

  2. dry cleaning

    Is cotton sateen machine washable? The internets seem to think so, but I bought some pants from AT that are cotton sateen and marked “dry clean only” I have too much stuff that’s dry clean only to be willing to send something else to the dry cleaners if I don’t have to, but I also don’t want to destroy my pants. Any advice?

    • Red Beagle

      I think it depends on the firmness of the finish. I have seen some very sturdy sateens and also some that seemed much more fragile. Shrinkage and not being able to get a good press on the fabric out of the washer would be my biggest concerns – if you really love the garment I wouldn’t risk it. But if it was a cheaper sale item and you don’t mind taking a little risk, try it in cold water on gentle in a garment bag with a fine garment detergent. No dryer, and press with a LOT of steam from the wrong side.

    • BB

      Why not try hand-washing it in cold water? Not as easy as machine, but cheaper than dry clean. I agree with the previous poster that you might get shrinkage and pressing issues if you don’t dry clean, but in general, sateen is washable (I throw my sheets in the washer all the time).

  3. Lyssa

    Tell me about your leg-hair removal methods. (I tried to come up with a non-creepy sounding way to say that, and that was the best I could do.) For years, I’ve been lathering with my regular body wash and just using a cheap razor with every shower, but all of a sudden, I’m getting razor burn like crazy and can’t seem to get a smooth shave. I’ve tried a few different (though still cheap) razors and gels, but it hasn’t helped. What products and brands do you like, and does anyone use any home-removal methods other than shaving? I prioritize quick and easy (and cheap).

    • Red Beagle

      Hair conditioner as shave cream – the richer the better. Currently using a cheap (think Suave) argan oil conditioner that leaves my legs like silk and I shave at least every other day.

    • Anonymous

      Odd, but might help. My derm says my own skin is sensitive to my sweat. Since I’ve started wearing long cotton pajamas to bed every night what I thought was razor burn has gotten a lot better. I also shave no more than every other day.

    • lawsuited

      The Schick Intuition (with the soap around the razor) is very quick and easy. It’s not nearly as cheap as disposible razors, but lasts a while and is still much cheaper than waxing or laser hair removal.

      • Diana Barry

        +100, this is what I use. I buy in bulk at amazon or costco. No other lather needed. I used to use shaving cream and find this works much better. You just have to watch the level of the soap/lotion around the razor and replace it when it gets low.

    • mascot

      Only recently have I gotten past the leg irritation. Here is what works for me. I use the Venus razor (the one with the lowest number of blades) and a sensitive skin shave gel. I dry my razor after use with a hair dryer and store it in a drawer, not in the shower. I think the thing that has helped the most is that I use coconut oil as a full body moisturizer immediately after I dry off. Daily use has really made a difference in keeping my skin happy. It can be a bit greasy but I just apply and then wipe off the excess before putting clothes on. I swear that stuff has some sort of magical properties. I buy the big bulk size of the organic virgin coconut oil from Sams.

      • Katie

        +1. I always exfoliate first (rub with a shower puff or washcloth) and use a good razor blade. I like Venus.

      • hoola hoopa

        +100

        This is the key. Good razors will make a difference, but you’ll never get a great shave without exfoliating.

      • Samantha

        Strange but this is contrary to the advice given on beauty blogs where they say shaving itself exfoliates (remove dead cells) so you shouldn’t exfoliate in addition, which may lead to rawness and sensitivity.

    • Veronica Mars

      Have you thought about waxing? I really like at-home sugar waxing. It takes a little bit of time to get the learning curve but it’s not too painful and it lasts a loooong time.

      • Sunshine

        +1 on the sugar waxing. Haven’t done legs yet, but it works wonders on the bikini line. I love that it’s water-soluble.

    • Anonymous

      I shave every day using one of the Venus razors (Divine?) and just my leg under the water. No shaving cream or gel or anything–takes way too long and I feel like it just makes the razor slip and slide off my skin instead of actually grabbing the hair. I’ve never had razor burn doing this and feel like I get a pretty close shave as long as I change the blade regularly, so maybe worth a shot? I personally find all the lotions and creams during the actual shave to make it worse.

      • Orangerie

        +1. I use the Venus Embrace razors for sensitive skin (they are light aqua blue/green).

    • Anon because I'm hairy.

      Braun Silk Epil. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it’s $65. Yes, it pulls the hairs out of your legs with tiny, spinning tweezers. BUT, if you’re like me and do everything possible to shorten your morning routine you might want to give it a try. I am an evangelist for this product now.

      1) The pain sucks the first time, but you really do get used to it. Even when it’s bad, it’s not that bad. It goes away fast. 2) I got better and faster at it as I used it more. Once I had done it a few times and it hurt less (and I wasn’t afraid of the pain anymore) I could do both legs in 30 minutes or less. 3) It keeps me smooth for a LONG time, like weeks. 4) Maybe it’s a myth but I think the hair comes back finer (maybe because it’s not growing in from the blunt cut of a razor), so even when I’m a bit hairy, it’s not very noticeable. 5) It saves $ – I bought mine with a 20% off coupon at BB&B several years ago and rarely buy razors now. 6) Never get caught with unsightly toe hair again because you rushed through the shower shaving routine (ok, maybe that’s just me). I get bikini waxes too, so I only need razors for my armpits (which I am lasering, so even that is minimal). (Seriously, the amount of time I spend managing body hair…)

      I would not use this on my underarms or ….other…sensitive places. I go all the way up my legs but would be afraid to go beyond that, if you catch my drift.

      If you are married to razors and shaving, Mr. Hairy uses a shave cream called Creamo (which I’ve also used in a pinch) and it’s cheap and really slick. His facial hair is super coarse and he’s a bleeder and really likes that stuff.

      • Meg Murry

        Another +1 for Braun Silk Epil. I also agree that the hair comes back finer, slower and far less noticeable. It does take a little longer than a quick shave in the shower though, so I still use a razor for those “oh crud, I’m too hairy to wear a skirt this morning and I have 2 minutes to get this hair off” moments. I have one that plugs into the wall, but I use it in a dry bathtub with an extension cord so I can sit comfortably and use it without getting little hairs all over the floor – thinking about upgrading to a cordless one since the one I have now has paid for itself multiple times compared to the cost of razor blades. I also only use it on my legs – I’ve tried to use it on my armpits, but I just can’t – it hurts way too much for that for me. Maybe if you were used to waxing there it wouldn’t seem so bad though?

        If you want to stick with razors, I’ve heard great things about the dollar shave club shave butter – although I’ve never tried it myself.

        • In House Counsel

          +2 for the Braun Silk Epil. I’m on my 2nd purchase in about 13 yrs (first one last almost 9 yrs). I still wax a couple of times a year (esp in the winter or before a beach vacay) but have found the Silk Epil very useful to keep myself smooth during the summer when I’m likely to have bare legs. The best combo is to perhaps try waxing your legs and then using the Silk Epil to maintain about 1x a week — I tend to always wax in late April every year to kick off bare leg season and then can get away w/ smooth legs all summer w/ just using the Silk Epil.

          • Eliza

            +3 for the Silk Epil. I use it on my armpits, too. It stings a bit the first few times, but you really do get used to it. And it lasts. Beats fumbling with a razor in the pre-dawn shower.

            When I do find I need a razor, I use a Gillette Mach 3 w/o shaving cream.

      • Anon

        Can you use it on your hands (not armpits)? I have very log and coarse hair on my legs (my husband teases me that I have more hair than him on legs) and currently I wax every other week. But it takes considerable amount of time and cleaning the remaining wax off my legs is something I hate. If using this device hurts me as much or even a bit more than waxing, I want to git it a try.

        • Meg Murry

          Probably, although it might be awkward. Since I still keep a razor around for my armpits, I use that for a quick touch on my fingers, toes and anytime I find I missed a few stray hairs after I put away the epilator. I’ve seen specialized attachments for small areas online, but never tried one myself.

      • Definitely worth a try even if you think it will be painful

        I also epilate, and I have no problems using it anywhere outside the swimsuit area. Only the first time–when I was pulling out tons of hair–really hurt. Now I do it once a week and can’t even feel it, even on my armpits, which I have to do every two days. And I have no pain tolerance.

        So…anyone have any tips on preventing ingrown hairs on the legs? I have tried Noxzema pads and buffing with a loofah, and nothing seems to work. Suggestions?

        • Anon because I'm hairy.

          Yeowch! Hearing all of these complicated and frequent grooming routines makes me wonder if I’m either less hairy than I think I am or just pitifully lax in my own hair management. Epilating your armpits every two days!! God bless you my child.

        • Red Beagle

          Ingrown hair serum from European Wax Center. You can buy the product even if you don’t get services there.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Men’s razor. I think I have the Quatro. Alba Mango Vanilla Shave Cream. Witch Hazel after to prevent razor burn in the places I’m prone.

    • Anon

      I use a men’s Gilette Mach 3 razor (drugstore but decent), and cheap conditioner as shaving cream.

      • Anon2

        + 1 – I do exactly this. At home I use cheap conditioner, when travelling I just use my regular hair conditioner so one less thing to pack.

        Mach razors are generally cheaper then the Venus ones and I find they last longer. The conditioning strips stuff on the venus one just cuts into the life span for me.

    • Anon

      I shave with coconut or avocado oil and one of those venus razors with the giant gel shaving cream strip around the blade.

      Sometimes I will wax with a Parissa warm wax kit and use an epilator for upkeep. This will last me for months.

    • L

      I’ve started using an epilator (I used the Emoji divine) and it’s been really nice. Doesn’t hurt and gets a lot of the hairs (occasionally you get a stray line). My legs were splotchy the day I did it, but after that they were very smooth. Waxing just seems like a lot of effort and this is no more so than shaving, but with longer results.

    • nutella

      I also buy razors at Costco. I think I bought a big pack a year ago and am still working through them! I use coconut oil – slather it on before the shower and then you can either shave like that or sometimes I’ll put a shave cream (think men’s creamy stuff that can be used with a brush) on top. I also exclusively use men’s razors – I can’t stand how annoyingly large to pack women’s are, the excessive gel softeners, or how difficult they make getting the nooks around my knees.

    • Carrie

      A similar post on this board gave some great recs, which I now use. I have very sensitive skins and have always had rash after shaving. I can’t tolerate waxing – too expensive and also rough for my skin.

      Shaving with a good razor (I use men’s Quattro, which I think is similar to Venus), using hair conditioner on my legs, then while my skin is still wet after the shower slathering on baby oil after shaving. Rinse the razor frequently while shaving.

      I have also used Veet, which lasts a little longer then shaving, but takes more time and I really have to be careful or I have burned my skin in the past (very sensitive). To use Veet, I have to only do one limb at a time, and only part of a leg. I’m very hairy and need to do whole leg, whole arm.

      I hate being a woman sometimes.

    • Sara

      Cetaphil with a disposable razor that has no moisturizing strip. Often the moisturizing strip causes irritation. And Cetapil provides a good base to shave without any irritants.

    • Senior Attorney

      I joined http://www.dollarshaveclub.com, which markets to men but which I love. I use their highest-priced razor, with the four blades, and they have this awesome stuff called Shave Butter that takes the place of shaving cream and makes the shave super comfy and my legs nice and smooth. They deliver a four-pack of blades every other month for something like $9.00, and I add the Shave Butter when I need it. And swear to God, no nicks or razor burn at all with this razor and blades.

    • NYNY

      I have increasingly sensitive skin as I get older, so there are a few (easy) steps in my routine:
      – moisturize my legs the night before with Aveeno lotion which I keep by the bed
      – Aveeno sensitive skin shaving cream
      – men’s razor – some kind of Gilette, I think – because after running out of blades, I discovered that DH’s razor was 300% sharper than mine, which means no do-overs

      If I’m feeling itchy/sensitive after shaving, I apply a thin coat of argan oil after drying off. With this routine, I only shave every 3 days or so in bare leg season (had to shave more frequently with my Venus razor).

    • Samantha

      I get a leg wax done every month or two (half leg or full leg depending on growth levels and season) and use a razor in between for maintenance.
      With coarse hair and a tendency to razor burn, I can’t/won’t use a razor for a full on hairy situation. Wax removes more fully with more long lasting results.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Forgot to add – my friend has an allergy to a common ingredient in shaving cream and uses KY Jelly instead to shave with.

    • ex enviro

      oops, hit “Report” instead of “Reply.”

      I use razors from Dollar Shave Club and a thick, cheapo Suave conditioner. After I get out, I use a Stridex pad on each leg to exfoliate. You’re supposed to wait 20-30 minutes for the AHAs to take full effect, but I just usually wait until it’s dry. It’s really help stop the “chicken leg” effect and I don’t have ingrown hairs anymore. Follow up with coconut oil to moisturize.

    • M2

      I am prone to skin irritation/razor burn and eos shave cream has been a game changer for me. (http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/eos-shave-cream%2c-ultra-moisturizing-vanilla-bliss/ID=prod6025114-product?ext=gooPersonal_Care_PLA_Shave_Cream_ampersand_Gel_for_Women_prod6025114_pla&adtype=pla&kpid=sku6023872&sst=706bc1e4-ef76-a089-db8e-00003efac677). It is a thick cream, so a bottle doesn’t go quite as far as regular shave gel and it takes a bit more effort to rinse your razor out (I use the disposable venus), but it is worth it.

  4. Red Beagle

    Anybody ever had a corn on their toe? Good home remedies? I have a hard one on my right 4th toe that is okay in the morning but by the end of the day really starts to bother me… I’m wondering if it’s hereditary because my mom used to get them and I remember her using vile over the counter liquid removers that seemed to work but I don’t really want to put acid on my toes if possible.

    • Anonymous

      To get rid of a corn, you’ll either need to use the acid OTC removers or allow it to heal naturally, which will take weeks and require you to not wear the shoes causing the issue.

    • AN

      I had a corn on my foot and used corn caps that had a high salicyclic acid percentage. The key is placing the corn cap exactly over the corn. Mine came off in two days.

      • Red Beagle

        Sounds like I should just bite the bullet and do the OTC remover because not wearing the shoes is not really an option… I’ll try it this weekend. Moleskin saved me today.

    • Orangerie

      Curad Mediplast sheets. Amazon sells them in bulk but you might try to find individual sheets from your pharmacy counter.

  5. BR flats

    Does anyone know anything about the quality/comfort of BR shoes? I’m looking at the capra flat, which it doesn’t look like is available in stores.

    • Contracts

      I had a pair of woven flats from them that were comfortable, but they didn’t have much support for long walking. I also have a pair of peep-toe heels from the factory store that I’ve been pleased with. I would rate them as decently comfortable but are not commuting shoes.

    • MegB

      Hi, I don’t have that flat but have several pairs of the Ashley flats which I love! I have problems with bunions and arthritis and they are great.

    • B

      I have a pair of heels and short wedges from BR that I’ve had for several years. Very cute, but only so-so on comfort. They’ve lasted well, but I definitely don’t choose to wear them on days when I know I will be on my feet a lot.

    • A Nonny Moose

      I have the Capra. I think they are super cute and look more expensive than they are. They’re fine for comfort– nothing like my AGLs but a solid fine. However after just a couple wears, the sole lining started peeling up near my toes.

        • A Nonny Moose

          I would buy again but not full price (although I think buying anything full price from BR is nuts). They were tts for me (size 11).

  6. Chicago

    If you are a female associate at a law firm and had the opportunity to question female partners about their careers at a panel-type setting, what questions (work or life) would you pose? My firm is hosting such a panel, and I’m trying to think of questions that would be good to discuss. TIA!

    • Anonymous

      Ask them what they did when they were associates to get them to where they are now. And what it is that they find most fulfilling in their work. Do not ask them how they managed to get husbands/how they feel about not having husbands. My boss is a female partner in her 60s and gets at least one of those types of questions at every panel she does and it makes her think the people asking are idiots.

    • Anonymous

      Ask them how they got clients to trust them. Lots of clients won’t or didn’t trust female attorneys and I have learned some real gems over time from senior women attorneys about how they tackled this issue.

    • Ellen

      Yay! Pricey Monday’s! I love pricey Monday’s and this Color bloch dress! Other’s I see don’t like the color’s but I think it is a great pick, Kat!

      As for the OP, yes, you should ask the FEMALE Partner’s what oblsticals they had to over come with all of the men before they were abel to become PARTNER’s. I personaly am the ONLEY female partner at the firm–Madeline is a senior associate b/c she has no “pizzazz or drive” like me, according to the manageing partner. That is what you need to cultivate cleint’s, I am told, and I suposedly have that skill! YAY!

      I was away with dad last week–we went to see the house he built in Virginia, but I could NOT p’ost because he ran over my handbag where I had my I-phone! FOOEY! I still have NOT got that repleaceed, yet, but will when I go to the VERIZON store. Dad yelled at me for putting my handbag in the driveway, but I had to grab the baby b/c Ed said the baby was loaded and he did NOT want to have to do the changing! DOUBEL FOOEY b/c the baby was NOT loaded after all, and all of my stuff got flattened like a pancakae with Dad’s big SUV.

      Dad would NOT let me use his ipad either when we were in Virginia, or I would have p’osted earlier. Anyway, I told him about the manageing partner’s brother and he said he had better keep his weenie to himself! I laughed so hard b/c I have NO interest in his weenie or any other part of him. I have to tell you about Myrna, but mabye later.

      So all my best to the hive, and I look foward to catecheing up on all of the stuff I missed. YAY!!!!

    • TXLawyer

      I would ask questions you could ask of either male or female partners, but which you’d expect female partners to answer differently.
      Anon at 10:10’s suggestion of “How do you get clients to trust you?” is a good example. “What do you consider to be day-to-day victories at work? What do you consider a career victory?” “What advice do you have for new associates who want a seat at the table?”
      I wouldn’t ask”What was the toughest hurdle you faced as a female?” or “How do you prioritize work-life balance as a working mother?” Or any other question that puts the question of gender front and center.

      • V

        I wish I had the real-life bio of these people before thinking up questions. At my first BigLaw firm, the vast majority of female partners were childless (who knows if by choice or not; I do know that there were a lot of later-in-life marriages but many were unmarried). When we did women-in-law events, it didn’t make a lot of difference to me (then single).

        Now, as someone still navigating BigLaw (other firm; I seem to be one of the senior women here even though I am otherwise a junior partner), but with children about to hit kindergarten, I would talk the ear off about Mommy stuff if any lawyer on this panel so much as hinted that they had children. What do you do at Christmas Break? And summers? I think that if you’ve made it in BigLaw and then add in children, it is being on a different planet (even if you’d figured out BigLaw as a childless person). What if your children develop unsavory friends? What if they have no friends? What if you have no time to take them to visit colleges? Did you get a nanny? A sister-wife? Demand your parents move to your town?

        If you, the audience, is no caring at the moment about The Juggle, stick to how to be a lawyer — if you struggle there, the rest won’t matter. What if you are stuck with a bad group or a group in decline (or a firm / office in decline)? How can you progress from junior to senior? What extracurricular things work (speaking)?

        • Diana Barry

          I might ask them about office politics. Did they have a mentor, did they run into any resistance as they moved up the ranks, what was the hardest thing about making the jump to partner, what’s the hardest thing about staying there.

          I always wonder (wrt the older female partners) why they seem so resistant to the younger female associates. I have run into this more than once, and the attitude seems to be “it was hard for me, I’m going to make sure it’s extra hard for you too.”

          • BigLaw Anon

            As a rule, if I have found female senior partners (like equity partners, not income partners; not necessarily senior-aged) with spouse/children, they are wonderful. They are awfully busy though. I’d love to be on a long plane trip with someone like that and learn all I need from someone who has walked in my exact shoes and figured out how not to bail on the whole craziness of it all (and she’d be all “I sat next to this attorney who would not hush up and it was hell; next time I say I am retired.”)

            With guys, chances are that they have a spouse (maybe ex-spouse) and children somewhere, and are generally somewhere lower on the spectrum but at least get some aspects of having a life outside of work.

            The nightmares though (not all and not even most) are people who have just given themselves over to work. And when that person is female (with no spouse / children), it is worst of al. They guys seem to leave at least for golf or just to do what they want (or understand that this is craziness). The worst partner I ever worked for was female and ran off people of both genders every year (but you got some good experience and were easily replaced by the next round of incoming attorneys; and she made the firm a ton of money, so I don’t think that they cared all that much).

          • Diana Barry

            Maybe I just ran into some bad ones, then – or maybe it is a difference between the generations. The ones I’m talking about are probably 60 or over, had post-college children and seemingly (when I met them at firm functions) hen-pecked husbands.

    • Senior Attorney

      I agree that you should ask career questions, rather than career/family questions. If you ask the career questions, it is quite likely the family stuff will come out in the answers.

      Ask them what they wish they had known when they were just starting out. What would they have done differently? What did they do that worked out spectacularly well? Biggest career decision and would they make it the same way if they had it to do over again? Biggest career break? Biggest career mistake? Things they wish young lawyers knew today? Tips for developing business? Tips for thinking about one’s career long-term when one is just starting out? Better to specialize out of the gate or get broad experience early on, and why?

  7. iLASIK

    Has anybody had blade free lasik? I’m having it done in one month and could really use some feedback, input, stories with a good ending, etc. Seems like at least 50% of the people I tell are asking me if I’m having one eye done at a time….implying that I’m crazy to just go for it. I’m going to a really good doctor (doctors go to him) and I’ve thought about getting this done for 3+ years. Have you had it done? How was the recovery? Are you happy you went for it? Any side effects?

    • Anon

      Yes, it was fine. You will see glares and have dry eyes at first, but most people’s improve (mine did). I wouldn’t get both eyes done separately, why have double the recovery time?

    • Anon

      My husband had it done… twice :-/ He was perfect candidate and the first time around it was initially amazing, but the “starburst” around lights got really bad. After 2 years he went in for a touch up. It’s much better now. Doing it twice isn’t fun, but it’s not entirely uncommon. No way he’d go in for a third time. He may need glasses at night for driving soon (he’s 4-years post surgery 1 and 2-years post #2), but he’d pick that over having glasses/contacts 24/7 like he was pre-procedure.

      +1 do them at the same time. They gave him valium to calm him down and then another sedative, popped it right after the procedure and was knocked out by the time we got into the house. He more or less slept until 8am the next day and woke up with 20/20 vision.

    • lasik

      Yes, I had LASIK 7 months ago and I love my new eyes. I had medium myopia and really terrible astigmatism and now I see 20/15. Recovery was super easy. I took Valium before the surgery, then 8 ibuprofen after, napped for 4 hours at home, and then I was fine. The only pain was immediately after surgery and before the ibuprofen started to work. I wore clear safety glasses for a week. I had a little trouble with night vision (glare and halos around lights) for a few weeks after, but that went away. I did not drive at night during that time. I have not had halos or glare since. I have no regrets. If you are a candidate, you should do it!

    • waffles

      I had blade lasik about 1.5 years ago. Definitely would recommend both eyes at the same time. My procedure was relatively easy – I didn’t take any meds before or after (besides the lubricating eye drops), with no trouble. Also no trouble with night vision or dryness. I wish I had done it years ago!! No regrets at all.

  8. First Year Anon

    I am struggling to write an email to another lawyer referring him a client (with the potential client CC’ed). Anyone want to help me with the language? Everything I write comes across as awkward.

    • mascot

      Have you already reached out to this lawyer and let them know that this is coming? If so, my suggestion is email the client and say that you suggest talking to lawyer regarding potential representation. Attached please find lawyer’s contact information and that you have cc’ed potential lawyer on this email. Please let you know if they need anything further. Regards, First Year Anon.

      • First Year Anon

        No, I haven’t reached out to the lawyer yet. A partner at my firm suggested him as someone to refer the potential client to. I already told the potential client we think XX would be a good lawyer to talk to, and I offered to connect the two. This is the email I’m trying to draft to connect the two people.

      • TXLawyer

        I like this approach- direct your email to the client, CCing the lawyer with lawyer’s contact information (but would advise that you call the lawyer first to let lawyer know it’s coming in case lawyer has some reason to decline the referral).

  9. capnkate

    TJ: Pantyhose suggestions?

    I just started a new job where the office is freezing all the time! I like to wear skirts and dresses, but bare legs are intolerable–and possibly not work appropriate at my office, although some seem to go without hose, while others do not.

    This weekend I went to Target to buy pantyhose, and they had exactly one pair in my size, which I bought, and they immediately ripped the minute I put them on!

    Does anyone have any suggestions of pantyhose that fit well and don’t fall apart immediately???

    • tesyaa

      I like L’eggs Sheer Energy for staying power and comfort. Lots of spandex. L’eggs Silk Reflections is a little more sheer and therefore dressier, but more prone to ripping, obviously.

      These are drugstore brands but still not particularly cheap. I try to get them sale, buy one get one free or at least get the second one half off.

    • LilyB

      I actually size up in some brands to prevent tearing… obviously they shouldn’t be baggy on you, but a little extra room makes putting them on easier.

    • Anne Shirley

      I really like Hue and buy them online. Typically good for several wears as long as I don’t buy them too small and put them on slowly. The lower the dernier number the sheerer and more fragile they will be. I like 7 for special occasions but for regular work stuff 14 lasts longer.

    • Arthropod

      one hanes place [dot] com is where I order stuff from (maybe annually?) since I’ve had the same experience you did the last time I looked in person.

      I found that the light support kind was more durable and a bit warmer due to the thickness than non-support. Silk reflections were always the prettiest, but I could look at them funny and get a run. Also, IIRC, Talbots hose was nice and better than average for durability.

    • In the Pink

      I think the tearing is directly related to the denier # of the hosiery. The lower the number, the more sheer the hosiery, and more quickly to snag, rip, tear.

      I’ve been wearing hosiery since as long as I can remember. I use a 15 denier for office, it’s not as sheer, but it lasts longer with the file cabinets etc. Tend to use more of a 6-7 denier for going out on the town for more sheer.

      European brands are what I swear by … (Filodoro, Sylvia Grandi) … I think the options are more available, higher quality, etc. For about $7/us a pair … from shapings (dot com). Size charts seem accurate. I’m not a shill, just a long time (decades) customer.

      I went to the online shopping when Hanes stopped being carried in volume in b&m department stores. Then I found the European lines and have never, ever turned back.

    • M2

      The L’eggs brand ones with the no roll waistband are my favorite cheapies (http://www.cvs.com/shop/product-detail/Leggs-Silken-Mist-Silky-Sheer-Leg-Control-Top-No-Roll-Waistband-B-Nude?skuId=467336). For ultra sheer and no control top, I like the The Nudes from Donna Karan (http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/donna-karan-the-nudes-sheer-to-waist-hosiery/3259879?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=A03&resultback=50&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-searchresults-_-1_1_D), but you do have to be careful with them. They come in a control top also, but I found those to have an odd fit that produced an unattractive VPL-like effect.

    • ugh

      Please dont inject poison into your face to live up to made up standards. This trend is ridiculous and makes women look non-human.

      • Anonymous

        Oh please, Botox does not make women look non-human. Your judgement is the real poison here.

        • Anon

          +1. When done right it looks great and good for anyone who wants to look or feel their best. Wish I had a ny rec for the OP.

      • Mpls

        +1. When done right it looks great and good for anyone who wants to look or feel their best. Wish I had a ny rec for the OP.

      • Charlotte York

        Am I allowed to inject for chronic migraines? Same follow up question as Mpls.

        • Ru

          I just got it done for migraines, too! It’s been a month and I’m so surprised at how effective it really is. I am, for the first time in two years, not taking painkillers for migraines/tension headaches.

          I do miss the ability to arch my eyebrows at ridiculous things, tho. Like the comment upstream.

          • Carrie

            Be careful if/when you get it injected for migraines. My Mom had her migraine Botox trial done by a Neurologist who was less experienced, and it looked AWFUL… she was such a trooper and had to put up with questions from nosey and “concerned” co-workers for months.

            So definitely get a good referral, as most Neurologists are not experienced in this and many are happy to try it since it brings in a lot of money.

          • Ru

            Absolutely agree Carrie. My whole path through navigating headaches in general led me through a few neurologists until I found a headache specialist with Columbia Presbyterian. Dr. Denise Chou is amazing. She is also at 51 west 51st Street. And to your other point, she doesn’t make more money administering the injections because she’s part of the hospital system.

            People think I look very calm. Which I hate, I’d rather look like how I feel. But can’t argue with less pain.

    • NYNY

      Robin Gmyrek works for the Columbia Dermatology practice at 51 W 51st street. Haven’t had Botox, but she’s a fantastic dermatologist.

  11. emeralds

    I had my first-ever date with an Internet man that I could see myself wanting to pursue something romantic with (this would be Bachelor Number…6? 7?) over the weekend. So that’s cool, I guess. But I’m kind of concerned, based on a few off-hand statements he made and possibly some stereotyping on my part (bad emeralds, etc.), that we may have some fundamental incompatibilities that would be deal breakers for me. But I’m not sure what the best way to get those out in the open is, since they’re around some um, freighted topics that are not conventionally accepted as polite dinnertime conversation (abortion! feminism!). I’m over-thinking this and the answer is probably “Just keep hanging out with him,” but I don’t really want to invest more time and energy (or have him invest more time and energy into me) if it’s actually going to be a no-go. What would you do?

    • First Year Anon

      An offhand statement is hard to interpret- if it’s a statement that maybe could be interpreted in multiple ways, I say see him again and see if it comes up naturally. I wouldn’t force those issues- sometime when people are nervous they say things that are a bit more harsh than what they really think.

      Was that your first date? See him another 1-2 times then evaluate.

    • Anon

      Bring them up on your next date and ask what his thoughts are about them. See if his opinion on those topics is acceptable.

    • Veronica Mars

      Well, keep hanging out is the most obvious answer, but I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying (added into a phone conversation would be best, but if you’re communicating still via email or text that’d be fine too), “Hey, when you mentioned X, it made me think that we might have different views about Y. What did you mean?” and then going from there. I think that’s totally valid, clarifying way of getting to the point.

      • Anonymous

        This could make it seem like OP was dwelling on his comment. Depending on how the question is posed, it might also come off a bit confrontational, especially if it’s over email where you can’t really control tone.

        I’d look for a way to bring it up more naturally in the conversation. OP can also be ready for him to make comments like this again. When he does, ask him clarify his position and try to keep an open mind. Ime, some men, especially longtime bachelors, tend to be susceptible to anti-feminist, anti-choice propoganda because they don’t think critcally about issues that they feel don’t affect their daily lives. Opinions can of course differ about whether a guy like this is a good dating candidate, but to me, I’d be more interested in what he says when he does actually think about the issue than if he’s parrotting something he heard his bros/Fox news say.

        • Veronica Mars

          Eh, I can see where you’re coming from, but to be fair, OP is dwelling on it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking a direct question that prompts an open dialogue about the subject. As far as confrontational, I don’t think so much tip-toeing is really necessary. Phone call would be of course ideal, but if not, I think being able to talk/discuss things with a guy is really essential. And I think most men appreciate when women are direct. And I think it sets up the expectation if there’s something on your mind, you just go and ask your partner about it.

    • Anonymous

      I would definitely go out with him a few more times. I’m sensitive to the not wasting time concern, but it’s just impossible to figure everything out in one date or two. And I think pushing through a checklist, however subtly, can rob you of the chance to see if you just enjoy each other’s company.

      That being said, follow up on those off-handed comments when he makes them! “Oh what do you mean by that?” “Wait srsly? A sandwich every day” “are you making fun if feminists right now? Cause I’m a big fat flaming one FYI”

    • Anon

      I’d go on a second date. Maybe a third. Even if the exact topic doesn’t come up on dates 2 or 3, you’ll get a sense of him better. First dates are hard and people say weird things. I wouldn’t go all confrontational even though you met online as there’s an equal chance of him being great/someone you’re into or not. If he’s someone you might like, why go nuclear as your first option? Keep listening to yourself and your gut, but to date you have to date.

  12. Intern Dilemna

    Hi! I’m on the last week of an internship but have been having a nagging issue. I work for Boss A, and work standard hours: 8 hours a day 4 Days a week. My boss is fine with my hours and happy wih my work. However, the other first year employees (who work with different bosses and not in my group) work much longer hours and always comment on my hours, how I’m leaving at 5 etc. I stay late whenever needed and come in extra, but generally leave “on time” to catch a train. Do I worry about their comments or just ignore it?

  13. Miky

    Has anyone worn barrister’s robes while pregnant? What are you supposed to look like? How is the jacket supposed to sit? Is it okay if I leave the bottom button undone??? Someone help!!!!

    • Anonymous

      When I was articling a pregnant litigator ended up borrowing her jacket from a heavier male partner for the trial she was scheduled on close to the end of her pregnancy.

    • LLBMBA

      I think it’s fine to leave the waistcoat undone if it doesn’t button – I’ve seen it done before, and there was no issue.

    • Anonymous

      I wasn’t able to wear my waistcoat very long into my pregnancy. I ended up borrowing two progressively larger waistcoats and wore them with a black maternity skirt, worn fairly high up on my very obvious tummy (I was in court right up until I delivered). Tip: you can also get a “d i c k i e” shirtfront/collar/tabs from Gaspard et Fils in Winnipeg online or probably anyplace else for not much money if your shirts are too hot/tight (assuming you are in Canada and don’t wear that already).

      Honestly, whatever makes you comfortable and looks relatively neat and tidy will be totally fine. I can’t possibly imagine any judge commenting on an unbuttoned waistcoat! I assure you they are probably thinking “Way to go, Mom!” Or, as was true in my case, being too freaked out that you might have the baby in their courtroom at any given time to be worried about the niceties of your buttons.

      You wear those robes with your pregnant tummy with pride!

    • Toronto anon

      My firm has one set of maternity robes- it may be worth asking around your office.

  14. AIMS

    What do you think makes someone looked polished?
    I’m not talking about just looking good, though that inevitably becomes part of it, but more “put together,” “well-groomed,” and sort of quietly “refined.”
    It’s hard for me to put my finger on this I think because it is not usually about being the most beautiful or in-shape or the best dresser… But some people just have an innate sense of neatness to them, for lack of a better word. Their hair is always in place, skin is always flawless, teeth always bright and white, clothes always freshly pressed and just the right amount of formal for the occasion…. How does one always manage to do this? Is there some trick? I feel like I can never have everything perfectly line up. If my hair is flawlessly blown out, I wrinkle my skirt on the subway; if I have a really clear skin day, my hair decides to be a frizzy mess…. Are some people just born like this? Do they spend way more time and money on their grooming? How does one become like that? I’m really curious.

    • Anonymous

      When I notice this, it’s about simplicity and routine. Having an easy to style hair cut. Keeping nails short and polished with pale pink. A small elegant selection of jewelry. Clothes that fit well, are somewhat timeless , and that don’t try too hard.

      I think part of it is class. In certain spheres this is a minimum standards expectation that your mother, aunts, etc taught you. And another part is confidence. You know what you can do, you do it well, and you don’t take a lot of risks because you don’t need to.

    • AN

      I think someone like Mary Orton at the classy cubicle fits your description.
      Polish, to me, is (externally speaking):

      1. Clean un- fussy lines, not too many layers
      2. Simple accessories that co ordinate with the clothes
      3. Streamlined look in general ….goes back to point 1
      4. Well kept hair and nails, regardless of texture
      5. Clean make up. So maybe a nude face and some blush, or a red lip and bare face. Not too much make up

      For some reason, I think the simpler your look, the easier it is to appear “polished” or well groomed. Someone like grace Kelly or Audrey hepburn springs to mind. I also think structured clothing comes across as more polished. So I would prefer blazers over cardis, for instance.

      But it all rests with the beholder….

      PS: I have no clue how to achieve the above look either.

      • Diana Barry

        I think structure is a big part of it. Or if not structure, just the appearance of intention. I feel way more polished when I put on dress + leggings + some shoe that is not a sneaker than I do when I put on t-shirt + shorts + sneakers, for example.

        At work, I feel more polished if I am wearing structured things, and also when I put on a bit of brow powder + lipstick.

    • Anonymous

      I think we are often our worst critic.

      I always feel like I don’t look put together and like I’m a mess, but recently someone at work complimented me on “always looking so put together”, and I was shocked, I think I looked at her like she had 3 heads, when really, maybe it’s true. Maybe I do look mostly put together, even though I often don’t feel like it.

    • TXLawyer

      I always think of people being “polished” when they are really consistent about having styled hair, up-kept nails, coordinated but minimal accessories, etc. I also tend to feel like someone is really put together when they’re wardrobe tends toward a “structured” or “tailored” look.

      It’s something about the “less is more” look and feel, like Claire Underwood.

      I, too, have no idea how to achieve this. But I know it when I see it!

    • Veronica Mars

      I love this question. I really strive to look polished, and I think for me it comes down to the following: Makeup done (and done well), hair addressed in some way (even if it’s just a decorative clip or ponytail holder), simple accessories added (watch, earrings and a necklace), and a nice outfit (i.e. real shoes instead of flip flops, pants with a zipper instead of yoga pants, etc). But that;s just me personally for my current lifestyle (student). I think it’s just those few extra, intentional steps that makes someone looked polished.

    • Anon Lawyer

      I agree it depends on the beholder, but to me (super oily skin on which no foundation stays longer than a couple of hours, and then is red underneath) people with perfect skin always look polished. It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing, or what my hair looks like, but the shiny red face always makes me feel un-polished.

      Well-cut/well-maintained clothes and shoes help and (this is not based on anything), it always seems to me like ‘polished’ people generally move more slowly/gently rather than run around like a headless chicken like I do.

    • OttLobbyist

      I think it is about simplicity and consistency, and about having a few signature things. If you usually have simple, elegant make-up and a great looking bag, and you stick with that even on a frizzy hair, wrinkled-skirt day (like today!), you will still read as pulled together, because that is what folks expect to see. I agree with a previous poster that classic shapes, tailoring and also real shoes make all the difference. No one looks refined in flip flops. Ever.

      • AIMS

        I think you guys are right about the simplicity. Thinking of the people in my life who I would say fit this “polished” label, I can’t say I would consider any of them particularly fashion forward, but they all look very simple and classic day to day. They also don’t tend to switch out too many extras – it’s usually same few pieces of (very nice) jewelry, a rotation of lovely handbags, not too much new just for the sake of novelty.

    • Flying Squirrel

      A recent (as of last look the newest) post on the blog “extrapetite” gets at some of this. She frames it as updating/refining looks. But I think her suggestions give you an idea of how to get from passable to polished.

      • Nonny

        Also I recommend The Daily Connoisseur on this subject. Although she doesn’t dress for a professional office, she addresses a lot of these points and always looks gorgeous but not overdone.

    • LilyB

      I hate to say this, but I’ve thought about this question a lot and one thing that comes up for me repeatedly is body shape- I tend to think that tall-ish, slender women look more “polished” than shorter, curvier women, all else being equal- I think part of it is that clothes off the rack just fit that body type better. It’s harder to find flattering, professional, fashion-forward clothes for a short and curvy body type.

      • AIMS

        Sometimes, sure, and maybe it’s easier that way. But one of my most “always put together” friends is barely 5’2 and about 145 lbs. Not out of shape by any standard, but not particulary tall and willowy either. I don’t think it correlates to size at all. If I had to put my finger on one unifying principle I’d say it is that if anything all the people who looked “polished” look like they really spend time and/or money taking care of themselves: their hair always look groomed, their nails manicured, skin is clear, glowing, free of blemishes, clothes are perfectly tailored, etc. Whether they actually spend a lot of money on this or not, they look like someone that is really putting in a lot of effort but without looking very effortful at all. It’s sort of like investing a lot of time/resources in having great skin and perfectly shaped brows so that you can leave the house with minimal make up and look good. But as I said before, the total look is sort of beyond me.

    • Anon

      The most polished women I know have a stillness to them. They never look frazzled or act frantic. Even when the sh*t is hitting the fan, they stay precise in their movements and words. As for their wardrobe, they stick with clean lines and colors. As for their hair, they always look like they have their hair under control. Curly, straight, or wavy, their hairstyle is always intentional.

  15. Anonymous

    What books or websites would you recommend for conversations about how to find meaning in your charity and other giving? I’m not sure if that makes sense, but we’re looking at how to build a philosophy of giving – especially for our children as they grow up – that reflects our values and is not quite so helter-skelter.

  16. Baconpancakes

    Free day in Seattle! I’m taking a red eye tonight back to DC; if you had a free day by yourself in the city, what would you do? Currently in Ballard. TIA!

    • cbackson

      Is the weather nice? I would rent a bicycle, bicycle the waterfront trail over the Ballard Locks to downtown, which takes you through the Olympic Sculpture Park, and take my bike on the ferry to Bainbridge Island. I’d stop for lunch at Blackbird Bakery in Winslow on Bainbridge (try the lavender sugar cookies), and then I’d bicycle up to the Bloedel Reserve or Fay Bainbridge Park. After that I’d wander around Winslow before taking the ferry back to Seattle. I’d eat dinner at (depending on your transportation and what you like) Bastille in Ballard (for mussels), Purple downtown (for northwest cuisine and awesome wine/cheese options), the Elliot Bay Oyster House on the waterfront (for oysters) or Lola (downtownish) for Mediterranean food. Then I’d get a drink at the bar at the Four Seasons to enjoy the floor-to-ceiling sunset views before hopping my train/taxi/etc. to the airport.

      This is basically what I did on my last day as a Seattle resident, for what it’s worth.

      • Annie

        If you go to Elliot’s at 3, they have Oyster Happy hour at the bar. Prices start really low (50 cents or $1 per oyster) and go up every hour until 6 pm. Sparkling wine also has happy hour prices.

    • cbackson

      Oh, and for breakfast in Ballard, I’d hit Vera’s for diner food or Java Bean for a delicious cinnamon roll.

    • Anonymous

      I would go to Pikes place market , spend morning-lunch people watching and snacking , and then find an oyster bar with a view of the water and drink beer and enjoy.

      • Anonymous

        I had an unexpected free day in Seattle two weeks ago and this is exactly what I did. It was awesome. Pike’s Place in the morning, the original Starbucks, sat in a park for a while reading, then at sunset, I watched paddleboarders for a while eating oysters. Yum.

        I would also check out the Chihuly museum, if I could do it again.

    • B

      I enjoyed the Theo Chocolate factory tour. Obvious answer of course is to go to Pike’s market. I could spend all day there.

    • Annie

      Walk from Ballard through the Locks to Discovery Park in Magnolia. There’s a beautiful 3 mile walk through the woods, and along the bluff overlooking the sound.

      Go to the Theo Chocolate Factory Tour (in Fremont, about 1.5 miles from Ballard). Follow up with beer and frites at Brouwer’s across the street. Walk to Gas Works Park and enjoy views of the city from across Lake Union.

      Go downtown, browse Pike Place Market, and stop a long leisurely lunch at one of the restaurants in the market. Go get Starbucks on the 4oth floor of the Columbia Tower.

      • Anon

        Great French bakery on one of the main corners at the market. Get a cappuccino and sit on a stool facing the market for an excellent 15 minutes of coffee and people watching. Also, find a place for excellent seafood: Wild Ginger, Dahlia Lounge are safe bets and excellent but if you do some looking around could find some other, newer and I’m sure great places.

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