Thursday’s Workwear Report: Blouson-Sleeve Stitch Cardigan
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I can already tell that one of my go-to summer office outfits this year is going to be a short-sleeved sweater with a voluminous skirt. I have a number of crewneck pullovers on deck, but this cardigan from Ann Taylor would be a great addition to the rotation. You can style it buttoned-up or layered over a coordinating top for an updated twinset look.
This pale pink color isn’t something I would normally gravitate to, but for some reason it really caught my eye. If pink isn’t your thing, the cardigan also comes in two other lovely pastels, along with black, navy, and “baguette.”
The sweater is on sale for $50.70 (marked down from $84.50) at Ann Taylor and comes in sizes XXS-XXL and XXSP-XLP.
Looking for more cardigans? Some of our favorite classic cardigans for the office as of 2025 include those below. Check Talbots and J.Crew Factory if you're looking for plus sizes, and Quince if you're on a budget. Veronica Beard and Brooks Brothers both keep a bunch of options in stock. Two other reader favorites: Anthropologie and Sézane.
Sales of note for 5/21/25:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has begun! Lots of markdowns on AGL (50%!), Weitzman, Tumi, Frank & Eileen, Zella, Natori, Cole Haan, Boss, Theory, Reiss (coats), Vince, Eileen Fisher, Spanx, and Frame (denim and silk blouses)
- Nordstrom Rack – Looking for a deal on a Dyson hairdryer? The Rack has several refurbished ones for $199-$240 (instead of $400+) — but they're final sale only.
- Ann Taylor – 50% off summer-ready styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 10% off new women's styles with code + sale up to 50% off
- Eloquii – 50-60% off select styles
- J.Crew – 60% off sale, and 40% off packing picks (prices as marked)
- J.Crew Factory – New arrivals, plus up to 60% off everything plus extra 50% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Lots of twill suiting on sale! Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Free shipping on everything
- Talbots – 30% off dresses, skirts, shoes, and accessories
I’ve just gotten a mini-promotion. It’s at the same place, but it’s slightly more outward-facing than what I’ve been doing. My workplace is very business casual — jeans are always fine though I avoid them; never suits. Can you give me some ideas on a few new pieces to add to my wardrobe to step things up but not over-corporatize myself, which wouldn’t go over well? (I realize this is a very, very narrow needle to thread, so thank you for brainstorming with me.)
For reference: I’m very short and fairly slight; it’s easy for clothes to overwhelm my frame. I’m hoping to look elegant, simple, and put-together; not fussy, but I’m open to color and interest. My job pays just fine but it’s not Big Law or C-suite money by any means, so my work clothes are J.Crew, Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, that kind of thing. I’d love new places to look, too.
Short and slight puts me in mind of Jean Wang at Extra Petite, who has gone full content-creator for several years but does still feature elegant/ simple workwear looks. Sheryl Luke and Sydne Summer are also content creators who are short and slight, but they tend more towards leisure-time looks.
You could try some 3rd pieces that are jackets but not necessarily blazers/suits! I just bought a blank nyc jacket on ebay that would be a good fit for a smaller frame in an XS (link to follow)
https://www.ebay.com/itm/127007816171?_skw=blank+nyc+jacket+floral&itmmeta=01JVW1GQSBMG513B0YKZDFMXWQ&hash=item1d924179eb:g:VOoAAOSwZMxllez8&itmprp=enc%3AAQAKAAAA8FkggFvd1GGDu0w3yXCmi1f1sFh6rDSfuFoyeX2H8C0JSGHF%2Few9Z8CQoNe7MzcGuWGtDynXT2YcgzdfoJwT6O7rbq3li99Z%2FOz5qRZUz0InXiESFi7%2BxkSPI2oO7%2B473JIu72UoxOQsp6IDWFi%2BKuYZ1PkXZqJu5tst1LFZW1lXZMloSTlLhxcfv%2FUDlPMIl9PF%2FTsoTUUeFTsjaGRP88bDl1PTwNK6IccGu6qEXNd49QeKen7m%2F7bNi7D08ZrUpmdSuc9REQI%2BFkhz5YaJuu%2F54ixjn7UmGLp7VFtGwbQ2auOFNqLdYqthaWPHu6RGAA%3D%3D%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR-z8woHfZQ
I am obsessed with this one and in a similar role to OP . . . tempting!
https://www.ebay.com/itm/167520638347?_skw=xs+moto+jacket&itmmeta=01JVW1T3SEMQ4NKCY7CXHAM38Q&hash=item270102158b:g:6dAAAOSwfdFmVieH&itmprp=enc%3AAQAKAAAA8FkggFvd1GGDu0w3yXCmi1cBFTKhoWdt6nuLcFQtTl9ZIZAEnNMEiZ3JlsJ40ttka7z%2BLJEdtbt3toiIedom7sSSadLmT1bVrXvboDObNCr4ZZrk8bDaVU8iLY%2Bay5WI9RBFSgGXDioCvb9uVzJgLVK7kVgs1%2BxPzpStC%2F3ZA%2Fq3sMDGJzNHtA35%2BE%2F2yMuD9dQJ0HticauXeXqK81WVq1zePfoUkJoTdey7CDbjxHQsz0Hf0wsS6C8S5tUAnV743%2BJvt7Zf8xNii3aHgYjzr%2FOQkDHlbREVhNJpk6gLtcMsbBjxDdNw6Vgy9BCYB8AocA%3D%3D%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR_K86IHfZQ
Just a note to not ignore suits. You don’t have to style them formally and worn casually are one of the easiest ways to look polished. JCrew makes an especially versatile shrunken version in a stretch fabric that’s one if my workhorses. I don’t do heels and pearls – flats, more casual tops, sneakers, etc all tone down the look so it’s more monochromatic dressing.
I like this. Chic.
Eh. Some environments truly aren’t suit environments, and especially if someone starts radically dressing different after a promotion. I would much sooner lean into separates. Wear a blazer or lady jacket with suit pants and loafers vs. going all suit.
I stand by the comment mostly because suits are back to being very in. It’s all in the styling.
Try Anne Klein in petite. Very reasonably priced at places like Belk when there are sales.
Similar build and job– I recently bought this blazer in a petite size in a few colors. It’s the first oversized blazer I’ve gotten that actually fits oversized without overwhelming my frame. I’ve worn it with dress pants and jeans.
https://www.anntaylor.com/l/p/603689-hpdp.html?dwvar_603689_color=9007&dwvar_603689_size=040¤cy=usd&country=US&cid=ps_brdShoppingPLA_AT_GGL_BRD_Shopping_AT_GGL_RTN_Brand%7CBrand_Shopping&ogmap=PLA%7CRTN%7CGOOG%7CSTND%7Cc%7CSITEWIDE%7CCORE%7CShopping_AT_GGL_RTN_Brand%7CBrand_Shopping%7C%7C20966698302%7C158323912539&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20966698302&gbraid=0AAAAAD-8SahVQsx2Mf8nyarzdhnAhM3SQ&gclid=Cj0KCQjwlrvBBhDnARIsAHEQgOTFM09y18Z6Cry-PF1CJUqFOuJniekrosPC9ohuoOJNm78bSXU0h_gaAn-XEALw_wcB
Try bracelet-sleeve jackets and cropped pants
I’m in England and the local healthcare is sorely lacking. I can’t get a doctors appointment and am going through menopause and it’s horrendous. I’ve not been on hormonal birth control for decades, but can get that fairly easily.
Does anyone who has been through this, know whether taking a hormonal birth control tablet is a good proxy for HRT?
And yes, I know I should see a doctor or pay to go private, but neither are an option. TIA
Did you generally do okay on BC in general? My experience has been that my body responds entirely differently to progesterone than to the progestins used in BC. Progesterone helps me sleep while progestins make it hard for me to sleep in particular. I’m less sure about estrogen since I actually got menopause-like symptoms on BC (like hot flashes) when I wasn’t even perimenopausal yet (but there was only 20mcg of estrogen in the one I was on).
Maybe there’s a way to get a higher estrogen BC that would be more like HRT.
YMMV but my own mom swears by Femmenessence MacaLife. I don’t know anything about maca, but I’m glad she felt that it helped her.
I used to be on something like maybe yaz when I was in my early 20s, and I lost weight and got bigger breasts, So it was great! Only came off for convenience, and for children, and have been on a no hormone coil.
Wow I struggled with weight so much on Yaz. Shows how different people are!
I think a previous positive experience would motivate me to give it a try. One thing to think about is whether oral BCP can increase stroke risk more than HRT would. A pharmacist (or whoever is the source of the BCP) may know which BCP is safest for your age cohort based on the doses of hormones involved.
Jen Gunter I think somewhere has discussions of how to decide between BCP and HRT (the archives of her blog appear to be paywalled, but she has a book out now too).
I think it’s better. My doc recommended that I just stay on it and I’ve had no menopause symptoms despite being in my early 50s.
In peri they often prescribe low dose bc, so it’s worth a try.
I initially had something called Lo-Estrin — one of the lower-dose BCPs. It worked well — no side effects. Consistent with higher-dose BCPs.
+1 to LoEstrin. It’s been a good thing for me.
I’m 47 and still on hormonal birth control. At my appointment last year my OB/GYN recommended that I stay on it until 52 and then we will reevaluate.
Other than getting overheated and a bit sweaty at night, I haven’t had any other issues. Perhaps insomnia, but that could also be due to stress.
Just had an appointment with a doctor specializing in menopause and she explained that there are numerous options each with its own cost benefit so I would unfortunately not recommend doing it on your own via BC. But that’s what I got to start with.
Similar. I’m 48 and my doc said I can stay on BC until I’m 55. The pill has higher levels of hormones than HRT, by the way.
Something like Norethindrone doesn’t even have estrogens in it, does it?
And I’m pretty sure there are HRT regimens that have more estradiol (e.g. 0.5-1 mg) than Lo Loestrin Fe.
Help me decide between models of Toyota: a RAV4, a Highlander, or a Sienna (hybrid options for all three). We’d love good gas mileage, functionality for an active lifestyle (need room for beach stuff, coolers, bike gear, etc.), and a comfortable ride for urban driving on the highway (not too bumpy/loud/etc.) We see the RAV4s around EVERYWHERE, but we’re looking for something that feels spacious and the one day we went to the dealership, it almost seemed cramped. My husband liked the size of the Highlander in comparison and thinks the Sienna is “too big” but I think he’s just biased against minivans. One baby, occasional visiting family in town, and one dog who doesn’t go in the car that often. In your opinion, which is the best car for our small, active family? Other pluses include good use of physical knobs (instead of all-touchscreen), although I imagine it’s the same or similar across Toyota. We also want good ventilation in the back for the baby.
The only vehicle you’ve described positively is the Highlander, as being the right size. Is there a reason you guys aren’t just buying that? Something is keeping you from deciding on it, or you wouldn’t be posting here; what is the sticking point?
It’s bigger and more expensive and we just haven’t pulled the trigger because we weren’t yet convinced. We went to look at some other makes after that but ended up back at Toyota for now.
Also, key point – there weren’t any new or lightly used ones for sale the day we looked. We tried an older one instead.
Look at dealerships in surrounding cities. Go on Carfax, find used Highlanders, one owner, no accidents, specify model years, specify max mileage.
Have you looked at the hybrid Mazda CX-90?
How old? The RAV-4 gets bigger with every redesign.
We loved our Highlander, and recently passed it down to our daughter’s family of five and now they love it. They had previous owned a RAV 4 which was much more cramped.
I am here to tout the praises of a mini-van. So much room! If you have another kid, separate seats in the second row keep them from touching each other while still keeping them close to you. Easy to throw a bike or a stroller in the back and still have room for groceries. And no dings on the car parked nearby when your kid opens the door (sorry, I could not resist). The Highlander is very big. My husband owns the RAV4 EV hybrid, and loves it.
We’re going to have just one kid, but would love to be able to carpool and have family ride with us.
I don’t have a great deal of experience with any of these cars, but I recently rode in my sister’s newish Highlander and was really impressed by how comfortable and spacious it was. She has two kids and they were road tripping, so it was packed with gear and seemed to work well for them.
I swear it is the Sienna. Easy to park. Easier for kiddo and dog to get into b/c its lower then the Highlander. Have had Highlander as a rental and IMO it was not meaningfully large (was tight with 2 teens and family luggage for trip; there is no way the third row would ever be useful except for very short trips hauling kid friends around who are very petite or children). I think you could get the RAV for better mileage / ease of parking — Highlander was a disappointment. But the Sienna. If it were “cool,” would be a no-brainer. But it is just such a superbly useful vehicle and you can get it in AWD, so why not except for cool factor? But everyone who has/uses it will get why you’d get one.
Disclosure — have a Honda Odyssey (big fan; replacing soon with a Sienna AWD) but I also have a CRV AWD Hybrid which is good now that kids are learning to drive and for city parking, but life demands a Massive Hauler many times a month, which we up to many times a week over the summer. Rented a car due to eldercare and elder moving for roughly a week a month over the past 18 months, so I also have Opinions on vehicles. You won’t encounter a Honda in a US rental fleet, but easy to test a Toyota this way.
I’d seriously reconsider the Sienna. Minivans are so much easier with a little one. It’s easier to get them in and out with the sliding door instead of a regular back door and you don’t have to worry about dings once little one is opening their own door. If you will have family needing to ride in a third row sometimes, I think it’s easier for people to get in and out of the third row in a minivan, plus you don’t have to fold a seat out of the way. We also found the cargo space better and more versatile than the SUV we eventually replaced it with. I just rode in the back of my brother’s Sienna a week ago and the ventilation controls in the back were great.
Also, read both yesterday discussions about rage directed to door-openers, whether flinging open a door is anything but a level 10 war crime, etc. Sliding doors FTW and to keep the crazies at bay.
How’s the ground clearance on the Sienna? That’s one thing I forgot to mention – we do need decent clearance for bumpy unpaved roads to trailheads.
I routinely go on bumpy unpaved roads to trailheads in SWVA and WNC in my Odyssey. I also have the AWD CR-V and a Tahoe, but take the van b/c I’m driving with kids from the scout troop and maybe another adult and all our gear. There is a “Trail” model Sienna that is 1″ higher. IDK how high you need to be where you are, but I think if you are getting there in a RAV (or whatever) vs a lifted 4-Runner, a basic minivan is underrated and has never gotten stuck (me and the other 2 adults all have minivans of various sorts).
A couple years ago my husband traded in his Highlander for a plugin Rav4. While we sometimes miss the third row (e.g., when grandparents visit), the Rav4 has just about as much cargo room as the Highlander, and the seating doesn’t feel substantially smaller in the Rav4. We have no issues taking it on week-long roadtrips with a dog in the back. So in your shoes, if you need more room than the Rav4, I’d go with the Sienna. Although I will say, I really like the look of the new Highlanders!
I was replacing an ancient 4Runner a few years ago and really thought I’d end up with another Toyota since my previous one lasted forever and was great. Like you, I thought the RAV4 felt too cramped–something about the design of the front made the ceiling feel very close to me. My Mom has an older Highlander (2013) that is a great size, but the new highlanders felt too big to me–but I don’t have a kid or dog, so they might be right for you. I ended up getting a Subaru Forester, which felt closest in size to my old 4Runner. (I also wanted physical knobs, which my Forester has, though I think they redesigned this year or last so may no longer. I HATE touch screens for everything)
I drive a Highlander currently and have drove a Sienna during the bulk of my small-child years. They have both been wonderful cars. The big advantage to the Sienna is, as someone else has noted, the sliding door. It is invaluable when you have small children getting into or out of the car in small spaces. And don’t sleep on the convenience of the automatic sliding door. I scoffed and, then, I drove it for a few days and saw the light. The bonus for the Highlander is that it really holds everything. You would not believe the size of some of the items I have squeezed in it. I don’t now if it is still the better option or not, but I saved $$ by getting a middle-level Sienna and having the dealer add leather seats. That way, I did not pay for a bunch of options I did not want.
We are also a one-kid, one-carsick-dog family. We went with the hybrid RAV because our priorities are fuel economy, fitting it in our tiny garage, and ease of manuvering/parking. I am terrified to drive a minivan because it feels like driving a house, but if I could deal with the size I’d definitely choose an AWD hybrid minivan over a larger SUV. A larger SUV doesn’t handle carpools, dogs, luggage, and road trips the way a minivan does. We rented a minivan for a big road trip and it was luxurious, but I made my husband drive the whole way.
With one baby, no plans for more kids and only occasional family or dog along, I would go with the Rav4.
Have you looked at the Subaru Forester or Outback, and the VW Tiguan? They might be good options.
highlander. Rav4 is too small for a family with a dog and gear. I own and love my minivan but with only one kid you won’t need something that big.
If you have a baby, I wouldn’t get the Rav4. My friends bought the ’24 model last year and they have to push their passenger front seat all the way forward to accommodate the baby seat, which means that one of them has to sit in the back with the baby.
Have you looked at the CR-Vs? I was car shopping a couple of months ago and ultimately went with the CR-V over the Rav- it felt much roomier and more comfortable to me. You could also check out the Honda Pilot- the new ones look really nice.
You can get car seats with shorter rear facing pitches so this is not as much an issue. Maxi Cosi and Clek in particular.
I have owned all three. The Highlander is basically a 4 person car IMO, so it might be a good fit if you are only carrying more people very very ocassionally. If you want to carry more than 4 people plus gear, get a Sienna. I use the Rav4 primarily as a commuter car.
Also, it’s way easier to get in and out of the Sienna for purposes of buckling kids up, stuff like that.
In my town people LOVE the Chrysler Pacifica just to throw another hybrid option out there.
Chapter 13 here. I have a big interview today for an opportunity I’m excited about, and it would increase my annual income by $$ (possibly even $$$). I know I changed jobs last year – I’ll detail more about my current situation in a future post. Right now, I need to rock this interview. Please think of me at 12pm EST.
You will rock this!
Good luck!
You’ve got this!!!
You’re got this!!
You’re amazing and you’re going to do great! Rooting for you!
Thinking of you!
I’m looking to invest in a new suit. I’ve always loved the Veronica Bear Miller Dickey blazer, but I’m worried the matching pants — which are pretty narrow, cropped, straight leg—look a bit dated. Thoughts?
Size up in her pants. There’s also usually more than one style option.
I’m having butterflies due to my first college class starts tonight. It’s a 4-credit Anatomy and Physiology class. I am still working FT. Any advice? I think I’ve gotten all of the apps and on-line things linked up and the lock-down browser for exams set up (need to confirm I can take exams on the iPad vs computer). Have parking sticker. Have student ID. It’s a class of 25 or so.
How exciting! Do you plan to take notes on your iPad with an Apple Pencil, by typing, or on paper? I found that in math and science-type classes (for me, statistics, econometrics, and economics) it was much easier to take notes on paper. I liked having some fine-tipped colored markers to color-code drawings. You could do the same with the Apple pencil, but I find it too fiddly.
In more challenging courses I found it helpful to copy my notes by hand. This also allows you to clean up and organize your notes. Depending on the course, sometimes I found it more helpful to pre-read the assigned texbook chapters, and sometimes it was easier to get through the material after the lecture. A big trend nowadays is to quiz on pre-reading, so in that case you will have to do the reading before class. Active recall is an effective technique for studying. See if you can summarize the material for yourself, explain it to someone else, etc.
If at all possible, go to office hours within the first few weeks of the semester. If you can’t make it to the scheduled office hours, arrange to meet with the professor briefly before or after class. Have some questions about the material, about career paths, even about the professor’s own background.
You sound well organized! Keep on keeping on. Advice (feel free to ignore): Eat enough to fuel yourself but not enough to make you sleepy. Take a small snack and water with you. Smile while you walk to the classroom. No need to enter looking like the ghost of toxic positivity! Just make yourself happy as you cross the campus/go down the hallway.
Make sure you know where your classroom is located. I.e. which building, which floor, even which campus. Look up a Campus Map BEFORE you drive there. Look for the closest student parking near your classroom. Make sure you are fed and hydrated beforehand.
If you have in-laws or other guests who stay with you a few times a year for a few days each, what little things do you do to make their stay more comfortable?
I buy their favorite snacks, breakfast/lunch foods. drinks to have at hand. Sometimes I bake a favorite treat ahead of time. I try to think ahead of something new going on in my city that they might enjoy, that is fun and new for me too. And since they usually take me out to dinner once, I think ahead of where I’d like to go. I also plan an easy meal to have at home, and a movie we can watch together (or they can do if I need a break) if that is something they like to do.
I refresh the sheets on the beds. I hang on to favorite toilettries that they seem to like.
This sounds so lovely. You’re a great host.
My parents bought themselves a TV for our guest room because the one we had in there was apparently inadequate lol.
We buy my mom a case of Dr Pepper.
My parents bought themselves a coffee maker for my house as we don’t drink coffee and didn’t have one.
My SIL bought us a rice cooker because we didn’t have one! Thank you, I said…
Make sure their bathroom is clean and fully stocked with everything they will need, including plungers.
i do not try to be like Meghan Markle and make special bath stuff for my guests. i generally just ask what i can get them from the grocery store, leave out towels, have the bed made. i dont have a super separate guest area, which i’m still conflicted about whether i wish we have
I always ask how they take their coffee/ what they drink in the morning and then make sure i have it. Nothing makes me not want to stay at someone’s house again like them telling me they only have skim :)
adding on, just because you don’t eat breakfast or whatever doesn’t mean your guests don’t.
My in laws do this and it makes me so ragey to not eat any food until 1pm. They also drink acid p!ss water coffee.
If they are early risers who drink coffee, make sure that there is an easy way for them to get coffee. Put the coffee maker on a timer, set it up the night before so all they have to do is push “brew,” or show them where the pods for the pod machine are. Have cream in the fridge and sugar on the counter.
Our guests have to use the kids’ tiny bathroom, and there isn’t any room to hang extra towels. We have a hook rack hanging over the closet door in the guest room for guests’ towels.
Give your guests some space. My mom is an introvert so we make sure that we give her the option for some downtime when she can just hang by herself in the living room, in her room, or all alone in the house. The time she came for graduation and we dragged her around to nonstop events and parties we really ran her ragged and we felt terrible about it.
For the love of all that is holy, feed your guests or at least don’t prevent them from eating. My BIL and SIL can go all day without food and it doesn’t occur to them that others might need to eat. When we visit they always want to go to church and then do something afterwards so there is no opportunity to have lunch, even on our own, until mid-afternoon, and we get so hangry. I’ve started carrying snacks and water bottles whenever we are out with them.
My parents visit four or five times a year and I keep a spot in the closet for them to leave things so they don’t have to pack as much when they want to come visit, especially things like shoes and winter coats.
Set up the wifi password for them, or make sure it’s written somewhere prominently.
On coffee- we drink coffee black, but my parents don’t so my Husband bought a cute little sugar and creamer set that we bring out when they are here.
A laundry basket and an offer to do laundry when we are doing it.
Give them their own house key and transit pass.
This is all good advice, and I do too.
– We have a pull out couch so we invested in making that more comfortable (got a board to support the mattress and replaced the mattress).
– I keep the shower guests use stocked with shampoo, conditioner and body wash that they can use as needed.
– I have a basket of little toiletries I’ve collected from hotels, wedding gift bags, etc. that I leave in the bathroom – it has tooth brushes, tooth paste, a tide pen, a little hair spray, a little hair gel, etc. in case anyone forgot anything.
– I also have a guide to our apartment neighborhood that I share in advance (with the WiFi password, how to work our coffee maker; where the drug store/grocery store/etc. are) so that if I’m out or sleeping or whatever they know how to do basic thing.
– I usually make dinner for the night they arrive (it’s often late) so they have something easy.
– I also make some easily cancellable dinner reservations so if we want to go out we can go somewhere “better” than a walk in place (I live in NYC so you can significantly upgrade your restaurant with a little advance planning).
From the guest’s point of view:
Space to hang clothes in a closet, and empty hangers to use.
At least one hook in the bathroom where I can hang clothes/pjs while I’m showering.
If I’m sharing a bathroom, tell me the usual bathroom schedule so I know when I can take a shower without disrupting someone who needs to get to work at a certain time.
Plenty of towel-rack space in the bathroom to hang wet towels/washcloth, or an over-the-door rack/hooks in the bedroom for wet towels.
Outlets in the bedroom that are easily accessible so I can charge devices — or an extension cord if the outlets are behind furniture.
I would be so weirded out of guests hung things in my closet.
. . . In a guest room??
Not your bedroom closet, a closet in the guest room or a coat closet.
Totally normal to hang things in a guest room, especially if they are wearing a dress or long coat. Are you weirded out by coat closets, too?
Depending on the guest and reason for the visit, I would also consider having an ironing board and iron in the closet (like if they are visiting for a funeral or you’re going to a nice dinner or event).
Think about having somewhere to place their suitcase or overnight bag. I appreciate that my mom has a small table for this, so I’m not tripping over it.
If you have any log-ins they need to access Wifi , that’s also helpful to have on a list. Nothing worse than wanting to watch a movie on your laptop in the middle of the night and not being able to.
I learned from here to keep an extra hairdryer in the guest room!
The lowest stake question ever: my husband says he is “giving blood” whenever he needs blood drawn for bloodwork analysis. I’ve told him this is inaccurate; he’s not donating it. Now my kid needs to have routine bloodwork done and he’s telling family and teachers that the kid, who is terrified of needles, “needs to give blood” and getting weird looks. He’s wrong right?
Yep, he’s very wrong. Set him straight so he stops sounding silly. (It is wild to walk around saying a young child is giving blood!)
Yeah this is wild. These phrases are not interchangeable.
Yes but also you took vows for better or worse so I’d just ignore this particular weirdness
yeah, you are totally correct but also maybe it doesn’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things.
I prefaced the comment as low stake, so as to not even constitute multiple stakes. I’m not sure why ether of you think I think it matters very much or as to how I could be clearer that I understand how silly and trivial it is. Just curious as to other people’s thoughts:)
Yeah he just has the colloquialisms mixed up. The correct phrase is what you said (“needs blood drawn”).
Anyone, with hepatitis, been in prison recently, gotten a homemade tattoo with an iffy needle, with CJD, etc. can have their blood drawn for a test for some medical issue related to them.
Donating blood is usually a pint at a time to use for others, so there is hella screening up front with questions and a hemoglobin test and then screening after. They are not the same. OMG. You have to be 18 and 120 pounds to donate in my community. WTF.
Bruh, this is like saying Avis is “giving you a car” when you rent one.
Yeah totally wrong! Giving blood is def specific to donating. Having blood drawn or getting bloodwork are correct!
These are not the same thing! Words have meaning, precision of language!!!
He’s wrong; you’re right.
I actually used ChatGPT for this, because it’s the perfect use for a LLM. It says that your husband is wrong.
I first asked it what it meant to “give blood,” and after it answered, asked the follow up question of “Does that include having blood drawn for routine testing purposes, such as with an annual physical?”
I’ve heard people make the “giving blood” quip when getting labwork done (in the chair next to me, etc). I think it’s a lame joke – and even worse that your kid has picked it up as serious and thinks it’s correct!
Lol I was just thinking this morning about how it peeves me so much when people say that have a “migraine” when they mean a headache. If you have a migraine you are probably laying down or vomiting, not walking and talking and carrying on.
This sounds similar and would bug me, too.
I would like to buy myself a couple of cute matching shirt/shorts sets for the summer. I am thinking either cotton gauze or a linen blend that is easy to care for. Insta keeps showing me an ad for this cute beige and green printed set from a brand called Commense but the website looks a bit odd so I haven’t ordered. Want to wear them to the pool, swim meets, baseball games, on the weekend, etc. I definitely want to be able to put in the washing machine. Any price point would work if it’s a set that you have and like and would recommend.
Old Navy! They really have some great casual summer clothes.
Venting – I’m back in the office full time from 6am to 2:30pm. I leave the house at 5:30am and am back in time for school pick up at 3:15pm and after school activities, making dinner, laundry, all the things. I usually continue to be online till about 6pm in case something comes up. Work is stressful and constant, and I just feel drained. I am happy to be employed but I no longer have any time to myself. Exercise really helps me destress and lowers my anxiety. I have taken a day off here and there, but I find myself online again putting out fires. I have gained weight bc I don’t have time to move and had to end my gym membership. I would love to find an hour to exercise every day, but I’m too tired and am just trying to keep up. Husband is super awesome and pulls his weight ( he’s also back in office full time), but he’s also drained.
Sometimes my kids will want to hang out at the playground after school and I’ll walk laps around the grounds. Other times, I can find opportunities to walk around at sports practices. I’m trying to squeeze more of those times in, but they don’t feel as restorative as an hour long gym class.
So I guess my question is how to find time/energy to work out when you’re drained.
It sounds like you need to not go online until 6 PM if you want to free time and space up. Update your calendar accordingly to reflect your working hours and then practice, practice, practice not checking email routinely. If there’s an emergency, people will find a way to get in touch with you.
What type of job are you doing that requires you to physically be in the office at 6am, but also available until 6pm?! I agree with the prior poster that you just need to not log back in after you leave at 230, unless there is an emergency.
What kind of absurd schedule is this and why?
Not the OP but this is what FT work with you have a flexible job looks like.
No 6-2:30 is full time. Logging back on is more than FT.
This is more than 8 hours, meaning it’s more than FT
But she is working 6a-230p in a physical office, which is FT hours….
I think jobs are different.
In my 20s/early 30s, I could bill 8 hours a day * 5 days a week by working 10 hours a day and half of a weekend day.
Add in my own issues, owning a house and pet, two teens who don’t drive and have braces, one kid with autism and needing various out of school OT etc., and elder care, and what it takes to product on a FT level is much more due to constant distractions, starting and stopping, and flexing.
So here we are. I get measured against the output of the singletons and the men who have a wife doing all this.
You have gotten into an arising which you’re putting in 11 hours of work a day. Does your title and compensation reflect this?
Three options:
1. Keep your normal in-office schedule, but check email at 5:30 pm. Don’t hover over the computer. Log off at 6 pm. Use your 3:30 pm to 5:30 pm time to exercise.
2. Go into work at 7 am and use the extra hour in the morning to hit the gym. If you need to, get a gym membership near work. Again, you’re still putting in long hours.
3. Gym membership near work, get in a lunchtime workout.
Either way, this business of 11+ hour days needs to end if you want to stay healthy.
I generally agree with this. Something you could throw in to complicate your options if your situation allows it is a bike commute. I’ve got a killer hill on the way to work, so I got an e bike to power me up the hill and it’s actually been a time saver – took me ~15 minutes to drive to work, now it takes me ~25 to ride my bike, meaning for an additional 20 minutes of commuting time I get almost an hour of cardio exercise, so I don’t need to take time for a workout as often.
If you have such a big job that you need to be available 12 hours a day, it should be paying you enough for an after-school driving nanny.
This. This seems like a “throw money at it” issue – whether nanny, meal prep, cleaner, etc.. Or if your kids are old enough to walk home alone, let them. I think you’re stressed because you’re trying to mom, housekeep, and work at the same time, and some jobs don’t work that way.
Ha — you can’t get PT help if you pay on the books; just FT or nothing. So I flex. I rob Peter and I pay Paul and it maybe takes 60+ hours of my time to cobble together a FT output at work. It’s likely why so many married women with kids don’t continue in the workforce — it is just too hard, the system is so complex. COVID broke a lot of us because we were building a rickety plane as we flew it on a good day before and it often easily gets to be too much when you’re always running on empty and have no margin for error.
Everyone is different but this is why we opted for aftercare and daycare for so long. It’s on the books.
Agree hard with this. But in our area, it’s only a K-5 option. Not for other grades and g-d forbid they want to actively participate in anything or want to do a sport or hobby or instrument.
First hugs. Here’s some harsh truth. Honestly? This schedule wouldn’t work for me for anything other than a very short time. Working these hours as an emergency solution is fine. But I’m old enough to realize I can’t jam a full time stressful job and stay at home mom afternoons into one day and not expect my physical and mental health to suffer. And I’ve found as I age that downshifts in health get harder to correct.
My solution is to work normal hours, hire after school childcare, and give myself permission to prioritize at least an hour per day (literally every day) of exercise over work or family. Your mileage may vary but i wouldn’t ask this much of myself and expect to stay healthy. Really im sorry if it’s blunt but this schedule not conducive to feeling good.
I work in disaster response and even though my schedule is insane I’ve found I have a way, way healthier approach to work-life balance than my friends in the private sector.
In a disaster, I’m away from home for 30-60+ days working 12-18 hour days, 6-7 days a week. I also am compensated for every second I work. I’m more or less always on call to deploy.
During steady state though? I don’t stay one second late. I take my full lunch. I don’t work nights. I don’t work weekends. If I really have to do something for some reason (often have disaster-related prep work to do before a disaster hits), I’m charging that time and getting comp or OT.
I’m allowed to “black out” time where they can’t deploy me for things like vacations and big events (weddings and the like). If I’m blacked out it’s really the only time I’m not on call and I. Do. Not. Look. At. My. Phone.
Some people look at my deployment life and think my work life balance sucks, but I love that when I’m not deployed when I’m off, I’m off.
All this to say – if you’re not saving lives you’re working way too hard. You need to set boundaries. You might need to find a new job or team if the culture is too entrenched.
Life is too effing short for you to continually have no time to yourself. You deserve down time. You deserve time for hobbies. You deserve time to work out. You deserve time to socialize.
Thats basic human living. I get working and having kids is a lot but it shouldn’t be this all consuming.
No one should ever be such a slave to their job that they never have downtime.
All of this. Downtime isn’t a “nice to have” – it’s a must. Never forget that a job will fire you in a second if it makes business sense, so never bury yourself for them in return.
Sounds like you’re going to be working from whenever you get to the office until 6, so shorten up that time in the morning. After school care so you can work 8-5 and work out in the mornings.
Op here – I’m a fed and just trying to keep my job. We are very much under a microscope and must be in the office for 8.5 hours a day. I satisfy that requirement by going in early. My position is also just senior enough that my input is necessary on critical issues with urgent deadlines (like respond with an hour).
The comment framing my schedule as a full time job and stay at home afternoons is really helpful. I didn’t see it that way, but yes, I want it all.
Yes, I’m saying start your 8.5 hours later.
Then stop. Your decision to go in stupid early isn’t helping you. Work normal hours.
Sounds like that’s a choice to deal with kids pickup, so the OP may or may not be able to shift that for now. But it’s true, the 5:30pm requests would be very unlikely to come in at 6:30am if you could shift your office hours.
if i recall from a prior post, OP does this to make the commute somewhat reasonable, otherwise there was a lot of traffic. i think the suggestion of the poster at 11:47 is right. there is also someone on insta tidydad who has started doing playground workouts while his kids play after school. idk if that would really have the same impact for me. you are in a VERY stressful situation and i’m sorry that the country did this to you and your spouse. simplify whatever you can. how many kids? can you exercise while one is at an activity?
Hi fellow fed here.
It sucks everything sucks.
But the beauty of being a fed is we work our hours and we’re done. Or we get comp/OT.
The administration has removed ALL flexibility (we lost AWS and maxi flex, plus of course any telework).
Do NOT give them your free time.
A decision needs your input on it at 5pm? Darn it can wait til tomorrow. If you get pushback, explain that since we can no longer WFH for any reason that includes you being accessible after hours.
Wouldn’t they just make OP be on a regular schedule then?
Why are you donating your time? Our contracts are very clear about hours worked and overtime
In your shoes, I would do one of the following options. I did a combo of 2 and 3.
1. Target taking an hour long gym class on Sat/Sunday and then working out at home (go for a run, take a walk, do a video, whatever it is that you like) one night a week. If you can find a later evening class during the week you could do that instead of working out at home.
2. Concede to shorter workouts – do 20-30 minutes, either at home or at the gym, which will feel more manageable to fit in your schedule.
3. Get a Peloton (either bike or treadmill) and do those classes at home. Peloton is the only thing that replicated the feeling of an in person class for me.
Can you put in the school pick up time as blocked in your schedule? I work part-time and I have certain hours set as an appointment in my Outlook. So like 2:30-4:30 every day? Or 3-5? Then you have some time to check in and tirage emergencies before going offline again at 6pm.
I need to have some availability in my off hours when I’m ‘off’ during typical business hours so that I can confirm meeting times etc but I find it much easier to be ‘on’ for a half hour or an hour later in the day vs checking intermittently all afternoon.
Working out on weekends is your best bet. And try to get in some walks with the kids after school or after dinner. If they are old enough to be dropped off at their activities, you can try to get in a quick work out at a nearby gym. I joined the gym next to my kid’s dance school and I can get in 30 mins on the treadmill and a quick shower/change during her 1 hour class.
I need formal black pants for work. Workhorse pants that I do not have to think about. Size 14, 5’8″, curvy. Recommendations?
Same size/shape and the Talbots Southampton are my go-tos these days.
Ugh, I need a new washer and dryer combo. This board is very anti-Samsung. But I am on the Costco website and all the highest rated combos are Samsung? What gives?
Whirlpool, Maytag, and GE are either not well reviewed or out of stock. Struggling with what to do.
I’m a huge fan of my GE with the auto detergent dispense. I love not having to load detergent with each load.
I like my LG washer & dryer
+1, I bought my LG set from Costco three years ago and it has held up very well (we do 8-10 loads a week, active family with two kids in sports).
Have you ruled out a Speed Queen?
I love my speed queen. Being able to soak things is a game changer. I did the math and the additional water usage is quite negligible in the grand scheme of things and I have no shame about using extra water for properly cleaned clothes.
I love my Samsung, got it from the first owner after they’d had it a year and were only getting rid of it because they needed to move. 6 years later, have never had any issues with it. Might just come down to washer preferences.
I’m generally a fan of Costco, but their appliance selection often seems overpriced and fussy to me. I’d at least see what a local place has to offer.
(Not overpriced for the exact same thing vs. other retailers I guess, but an expensive selection.)
Very happy with my Electrolux washer.
Miele!
Go to a local appliance place instead of Costco if you can. I love my top loader Whirlpool and would not get a Samsung or LG again if you paid me – they both died or were heavily molded within 2 years.
I’m going to be in Charlotte NC for 4 days in June. Recommendations on things to see and do? I enjoy bookstores, museums, galleries, cute shopping areas, fairs/festivals, gardens, parks, day spas, that kind of thing. What should I not miss while I’m there? Where should I stay? I’ve never visited the city before. Thank you in advance!