ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Boatneck Top

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A woman wearing a dark green long sleeve boatneck top with soft leather pants

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I have no idea why Banana Republic Factory insists on photographing their clothes in a way that makes them impossible to tell what they actually look like, but I think this top might be a real winner!

I like the look of the seams and the slightly blousy sleeves, and I’m a huge fan of the soft touch fabric. Wear this boatneck top with some trousers and loafers for an easy office look. 

The top is $30 at BR Factory and comes in sizes XXS-XXL; it’s available in navy, white, and green; there is also a version available with a v-neck.

Sales of note for 1/15:

279 Comments

  1. Hive, need some holiday gift ideas for my incredible EA. Budget about $500. She’s a runner; did a marathon this year and won the lottery to head to a marathon in Germany next year. Previously have given running related gifts (e.g. a theragun to help with sore muscles) but runners, what is the cool gift that she will love? Will probably include some of the $500 to a running store so she can pick some gear herself, but want to include some physical gifts. As a devoted sloth, I have no idea where to start.

    1. I am usually a give a physical gift person, but since cash is on the table here (at my company it’s not), I’d do $500:cash and a mug or something small to open up.

      2. +1. People that are that serious about a hobby are super picky about their gear. I’d do cash and like, a Rick Steves Germany travel book.

        1. +1 Cash and a Rick Steves Germany book sounds perfect here. Maybe a plant for her desk if that is something she would like and you really feel the need for a physical gift but speaking as a former EA, cash all the way really was what I preferred.

    2. Do you know which city in Germany? Will she have time to add a few extra days to her trip?

    3. Just give cash and a nice card.

      You don’t know what her budget is. It’s frustrating to be on the receiving end of expensive gifts when you’re worried about scraping together enough money for groceries this month. Maybe she doesn’t want to shop at the expensive running store because she can get great gear somewhere less expensive. If you must give something physical, make it small and don’t deduct it from the $500 cash.

      1. Agree! Cash in a card is way better than a gift card to a $$$ running store. My preferred running shoes are a full price, special order item at my local store, but if I order online I can get great prices on last year’s colors and stretch those dollars much further. And with cash, I have the option to spend it however I like.

      2. I appreciate your sensitivity to my EA’s situation but please don’t assume I am an insensitive dolt. I’ve been giving her gifts for many years and have enough emotional intelligence to know whether a gift lands or not. I also have a very solid line of sight not only into her pay, but her overall financial situation. She is not scraping money together for groceries; if she was, I’d be giving her cash straight out. I also know she happens to really like actual gifts and has expressed to me not loving that she only gets gift cards from her mother.

        Bottom line, stop with the performative nonsense. Your post is shaming and assumes a lot of facts not in evidence. I came here for help, not a lecture.

        1. I think this is a very fair point, and I hear you, but I also tend to agree with the first poster that it can be really hard to buy a hobby gift when the person is this serious about their sport and probably has a lot of gear already. I do like the idea of a running-related book, plus cash.

        2. But you are her boss, not her mother! I would still give $500 cash if I were you, and then throw in a small phsyical gift on top of that.

          2. Of course not. But just because your assistant complains that her mother gives her gift cards does not mean that you should not give her cash. Her relationship with her mother is necessarily different than her relationship with you (her boss). And I still recommended a smaller physical gift to go along with the cash. But you do you, it is clear you don’t want to give her cash despite almost unanimous agreement from everyone else who replied on this thread.

      3. LMAO at the idea that someone flying to Berlin for a bucket list marathon is scraping together money for groceries

        1. Right? It’s patronizing to assume that everyone in an assistant-type role is “scraping together money for groceries.” Obviously it’s wrong to assume everyone is financially secure/doing as well as most people on this board are, but OP was not doing that.

          1. Yeah I had a hot minute in my life when I was running a lot, had just moved for a new job, and had to do some careful calculations to make sure I could pay my bills. You know what was a REAL easy thing to not spend money on? Flying to Berlin to run a marathon. Or entering any races at all.

    4. What about a lovely cashmere/soft travel set for when she goes to Germany, plus the Rick Steves book?

    5. Caveat that I hike and don’t run, but I would think if you just want some useful gifts to go with a gift card, things like a fleece headband, nice gloves, wool socks, good lip balm are all safe bets. Those are the kinds of things you can get from like an REI or Patagonia and are good quality.

      Like people said, most of the other clothes or shoes would probably be a brand preference or something to try on. Other gift cards might be a massage or pedicure for after the marathon, or a nice dinner in Germany. I think thoughtful gift cards are nicer than generic ones as if you don’t know the person.

    6. Lilke with every hobby, what she prefers is hard to know. But if you buy the running items from the same running store where you get the gift card, she can always return them when she goes to shop. As a runner myself, some things you could go with are socks, gels/gus (what you eat while you’re running), gloves and/or head wrap and/or hat with the hole for a pony tail. I think the easiest thing to do is go to the running store, pick up several items from there along with the gift card, and package them all up together.

      If she’s the type of person who would display her race day gear like the bib or metal, a shadow box for those things.

      1. How did I forget one of my all time favorite, inexpensive items: lock laces! You can usually get them in running stores or from Amazon, and they usually come in a 3 pack. Even my DH who isn’t a runner now uses them exclusively in his tennis shoes; they make taking shoes on and off so fast and easy.

    8. No advice but I loved your self-description “as a devoted sloth”! (I’m a struggling sloth…struggling to exercise regularly.)

    9. I would do mostly cash/gift certificate, but you could add something like this for displaying her race bib/medal after the event: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1102041045/3-in-1-shadow-box-display-race-bib-race

      But get one from Amazon and include a gift receipt.

      I also like the massage gift certificate idea. I would not do a pedicure one as she will likely have some toenail issues after the race! (I just ran a marathon in November and have 4 very damaged nails; I would be worried about infection getting a pedicure).

    10. I run and travel to Germany fairly frequently, and I like the idea of a guidebook for Germany! If she’ll be staying in Berlin (I assume based on the lottery) a few extra days, maybe pre-pay for an experience like a guided tour, food tour, etc., that she can schedule herself? I know you said she’s not the biggest fan of gift cards, but a gift card for something Germany-specific like Wolt if she’d want to get lunch or dinner delivered to her hotel after her race?

      As a runner, I don’t actually like it that much when people try to gift me running gear, since I’m particular. I think the hot new upgrade is carbon shoes, but she’d have to 1. want them and 2. try them on herself.

      1. Yeah, I’m the runner who suggested Maurtens above, and definitely don’t get shoes!!

        I looked, and Berlin’s on course nutrition actually is Maurten. Switching fuels between training and race day is a huge no no, so I’m going to make a second pitch for getting her the thing I linked above if she is in fact running Berlin. You can say you saw that that was the on course fuel. I would receive that very well, and worst case scenario, I’d be able to regift it very easily (because most runners know other runners, and gels are easy to regift).

        1. Ooh yes, if Maurten is doing the on-course nutrition this is a great idea! This has such a thoughtful tie-in and has such an incredibly low downside, it’s the winner for me.

    11. She’s running Berlin?!?! So exciting!!

      Most of the Abbott WMM races have some really special gear associated with them. Give cash and the suggestion to splurge on race goodies (jackets, necklaces, all that).

    12. Marathoner here – indulgent stuff I love: Tracksmith fells tights (like flexible sweaters for your legs), Normatec compression recovery boots (leg massage!), the new Saucony Endorphin Pro 5’s in hot pink and black, Rabbit low light cocoon pullover, Tracksmith NDO glove/mitten combo, Garmin Fenix 8 sapphire watch

      1. This is all so personal though. I am also a runner and do not care for the fells tights and never wear Saucony shoes. The moral of the story: definitely get a gift receipt if you buy her any running gear!

    13. I’d do travel and cultural guide to Germany/Berlin and area plus shoes from Nordstrom, so she can have something comfy to walk around Berlin. Nordies have a great shoe department so she’d be able to exchange if they don’t fit or she likes a different style. If not shoes, then maybe something like a coordinating hat, gloves and scarf etc.

  2. i wish i could wear a boat neck. my shoulders are so small i would look like madonna circa 1984 in this, it would be hanging down to my elbows.

    2. Boat necks inevitably slide toward my non dominant arm. I think it’s because I’m lifting my dominant arm more as I go through the day.

      Fine for a slouchy dolman sweater look, but not for work.

    3. I love boat necks, but they have to be narrowish because my middle-aged chest needs a very industrial bra with very sturdy straps.

  3. Sezanne is the worst for impossible to decipher clothing photos. I truly do not understand their marketing strategy.

    1. +1 the photos are beautiful but it’s impossible to tell what the clothes will actually look like.

    2. I was trying to buy a dress there recently but there was no photo of the entire dress, just weird zoomed in photos of the model’s hunched over torso. So bizarre.

    3. Same! It gives a mood. Nothing more. At least the AI pics from Lands End show the clothing on an upright person against a plain background. I wonder how it would be if they switched website teams.

    4. Reddit-Sezane has women who post try on photos. In theory the clothes are lovely knits, but I’m coming around to the conclusion that they make 20 year olds look kind of frumpy half the time….

      1. Sezane is SO frumpy in real life. I think it’s supposed to be ironic, but that only works on a rail-thin 20-something with perfect hair.

    5. So funny to see this post – I stopped ordering from there years ago. Once I bought a bunch of items online, and when I received them I actually went and double checked that they didn’t send me the wrong things. They looking NOTHING like the photos. Returned it all. Interesting to see it wasn’t just me, and that’s still a thing.

  4. Favorite drugstore face cream for winter?
    My normal revlon revitalift is not cutting it this winter. Open to layering products over it and don’t have any specific skin issues.

    4. I still like Clinique “Dramatically Different,” but I’ve not compared it to Revitalift.

      1. seconding this. I was really skeptical it would leave me shiny and it’s actually been awesome.

      2. I tried my cerave-in-the-tub that I bought for hands on my face solely because of comments like these and it’s been great for very dry winter face. I dunno, I also had the impression it was only for body, but the tub says non-comodogenic, and it’s been fine so far.

    8. I used to put the Ordinary’s Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5 under Cerave morning and night to boost the hydrating effect. I’ve upgraded to SkinMedica HA5 under Obagi Hydrate luxe and as long as people keep complimenting my glowy 60 yo skin, I’m sticking with it, but the Ordinary + Cerave did a pretty good job. If you are tempted to half and half it, I’d go with the Ordinary and add the Obagi, that stuff is amazing especially in winter.

    10. I like Garnier water-gel creme–it’s in a tub and the very hydrating one is a pink hue. The hyaluronic acid really moisturizes from within. It’s the only thing that cuts it at my ski house!

    12. Pure argan oil. I am prone to breakouts and argan oil does not cause me any issues. In winter it’s the only thing that actually fixes dryness without irritating my sensitive skin.

  5. Has anyone taken a basic EMT class? There is a hybrid one at my community college with only a small bit of in person classes and the rest online. It’s 9 credits though. Job is flexible enough that I should be able to swing the inperson dates and do the rest online. I feel like worst case is that I learn something new but fail the class because I can’t juggle. I am not changing careers. I just can’t make any NOLS class work for my schedule beyond WFA, which I’ve already done. The community college is right next to my apartment practically.

    1. I have! I took one while in college to be an on campus EMT. I went to a fairly competitive SLAC. I took the EMT-B class over the summer at a local community college. It wasn’t 0 work but it wasn’t hard.

      1. Which SLAC? I know that Wake Forest has this, as does Chapel Hill (and a kiddo is interested in PA school, where she knows already that she will need something like this or being a CNA as part of her prep).

    2. I took one a very long time ago in college (like 20 years) back when I was pre-med (I did not end up going to med school, but that’s another story). Surprised there’s only a little bit in person though, as I seem to recall a fair number of things you have to learn hands-on. The class was interesting and not particularly hard. Got my basic EMT certificate and never used it. The ambulance ride along you’re required to do was… interesting. (first call: guy fell off ATV doing something stupid I’m sure. Shirtless. Swastika tattoo on the chest. EMT I’m shadowing is Jewish. Second call: OD. Get to ER. At some point someone asks: “Did you search them for weapons? They have an outstanding warrant for [I don’t remember, but something dangerous].”)

    3. Do you want to take it just for the skills, or do you want to take it to work / volunteer in an official capacity? There’s a National Registry that governs the EMT curriculum and licensing. Licensing as an NREMT-Basic requires the coursework from an approved provider, practical testing which includes ride alongs, and the formal National Registry test. I did NREMT-B and think it was like 3 months, 2 nights a week plus all day Saturday for class with had practical and written tests, three ambulance ride alongs, and both the written and practical registry tests.

  6. My baby has norovirus from daycare. Does anyone have a specific brand name and link to bleach wipes meant for the home consumer? It is proving impossible to find something like this but yet I’m being told that you should make sure that you use effective wipes. My bleach spray bottle and paper towels don’t work as well for vertical door knobs and such – can’t get the liquid to stay on for long enough. TIA for any *specific* links you can provide. Access to Target, cvs, and Safeway locally.

    2. Soap and water is fine. I’ve never bleached anything after a stomach bug and we don’t normally spread them around our household.

        1. I always hit the door knobs/light switches/ remotes and phones. Common points of spread, often touched, rarely cleaned.

      2. +1 to general soap and water cleaning. Practice good hand/mouth hygiene (i.e., don’t touch your face or mouth with unwashed hands), and proper handwashing with regular soap before preparing food, eating or drinking, after all bathroom and baby cleanups, and after handling dirty laundry, shoes, etc.

        Bleach can kill norovirus that is hanging out on surfaces, but trying to sanitize while the illness is active in your house is like playing whack-a-mole.

        1. Yeah, I think the biggest thing that prevents spread (at least to adults) is being super vigilant about not preparing food or eating without washing your hands directly beforehand.

        2. Yeah, I’m all set on the hand hygiene front. Just looking for a name brand and link to wipes. Thanks all who responded!

    3. Clorox and Lysol both come in a wipes canister, target, CVS, or home Depot should have them.

      1. Not bleach based, though. I’ve searched all those places. Do you have a specific link?

        1. Quaternary ammonia (lysol or similar) is a more effective disinfectant. Bleach just “smells cleaner”. Whatever you choose, be sure to mix and use as directed on the label.

          1. And if you start with ammonia, don’t switch to bleach halfway through unless you want a bigger problem!!!

          3. sorry, phone autocorrected. It should have said quaternary ammonium, not ammonia. Regardless, do what the label days.

    4. Not trying to be dense or smart, but couldn’t you spray the paper towels with the bleach spray bottle and then wipe, creating the same effect as a wipe?

    5. Clorox healthcare peroxide wipes!

      And get yourself a steam cleaner: dupray neat!

      1. +1 to the Clorox peroxide wipes/spray. We have pets and this is the only heavy duty cleaner we use.

      2. There are also Clorox healthcare bleach wipes, which I have. If you don’t like the smell of bleach (I do not), they stink.

      3. Switched to the healthcare peroxide wipes and haven’t looked back. They’re so good!

        Norovirus instructions say to use bleach and water though, so it’s a personal decision.

    6. I’m sorry your baby is sick. That is no fun. Gently, I think you don’t need to wipe the door knobs with bleach for some specific amount of time. We’ve done norovirus a few times and contained it to the sick kid with extra careful handwashing and our usual clean up routines, despite the extra snuggles required due to illness. Good luck!

        1. Mechanical scrubbing with soap and water is effective for removing virus particles on surfaces and proper handwashing will remove them from your hands. Unless you plan to eat off the doorknob, you don’t need to sanitize it.

          2. I don’t want to splash around with soap and water – a wipe offers convenience. I’ll do a DIY paper towel one until I find one of the brands others suggested.

          3. 10:15, people love to think their ideas are always right, too, but that doesn’t mean we must support those fantasies.

        2. The alternative approach would be to wrap paper towel around your doorknob, and soak it with your bleach spray to let it sit for however long you think it should. DIYing your own wipe, essentially.

          2. Maybe but then it doesn’t matter if the bleach sits on a store bought wipe or on a paper towel.

        1. Daycares bleach everything *constantly*. Trust me, it’s not a lack of bleaching that caused the issue at daycare. Babies put their hands in their mouths constantly and that’s how it spreads. There’s no real way to avoid that with infants, but adults and any child over the age of about 2 should be washing hands a lot while there’s an actively sick person at home, and that should contain the spread. At least for norovirus – not so much for the airborne cold/flu viruses.

          1. Maybe they should be using a skin safe sanitizer like the HOCl, same as a hospital would?

            A lot of kids put their hands in their mouth kind of a lot even when they should know better!

    7. Oh nooooo. So sad! You could try Purell surface sanitizing wipes but maybe paper towels soaked in bleach after scrubbing well with soap and water are going to be your best bet. Hope the rest of you don’t get it! Norovirus can be spread through the air so if you do pick it up, don’t blame yourself for not cleaning well enough. I vividly remember dealing with this same situation 25 years ago – it was a tough couple of weeks as it worked it’s way through our family of four. Sending you good thoughts.

        1. You’re right! – sorry I mean the Purell professional which we actually can get in a large chain office supply store here. Should have been more specific.

    8. I use hypochlorous acid spray for everything like this. Right now I have CleanSmart brand. Last I checked, the toy sanitizer, CPAP sanitizer, and regular were all the same product with different labeling. If you already have a skincare HOCl product, you could check the concentration (and expiration!) and use that in a pinch.

    9. Don’t have a specific wipe recommendation, but here to tell you that I’m positive I saved the rest of our family from the spread of norovirus on vacation by following my husband (who was the one who got sick after me) around every time he got up out of bed and wiping off everything he touched, including door knobs and light switches with disinfectant wipes. So whatever you end up with, wiping off surfaces is an extra layer of protection when norovirus can live on surfaces for weeks and everyone is capable of shortening handwashing routines under stress. And yes, bleach can sometimes discolor metal surfaces but honestly I would take that over getting a norovirus ever again.

    10. We have noro (probably) at my son’s preschool and I overnighted a huge pack of Clorox healthcare hydrogen peroxide wipes and a spray too. Alcohol-based disinfectants won’t cut it. Lots of handwashing (my hands are looking raw), and if you get it, sanitize with something hydrogen peroxide or bleach based. It’s a very tough virus and it can live on surfaces for a very long time.

  7. Philly ladies- ISO recs for facial hair removal, likely laser. I was all set to have a consult with the laser hair specialist at my derm, but the office is closing, and this middle-aged chin hairs have GOT to go before they start turning gray. Center City preferred.

      1. my problem is that they are dark and thick and I can see them before they even break through the skin. Tinkle resulted in lots of little dark dots that look like blackheads.

        1. when you have fair skin and dark hair, you just have to do it more often. Like every day. takes 2 seconds.

          But I hear you. I want them gone. I am leaning towards electrolysis for the face.

          1. yeah my point was that even “freshly shaven” you can see the big fat dark hair sitting there. I’ve been also tweezing, which does temporarily solve the problem for hairs that get just long enough… but it’s time consuming and these s-ckers are going to give me carpal tunnel!

          2. I have hair like this, and for what it’s worth, my doctor didn’t think laser would be a long term solution – recommended electrolysis. I haven’t moved forward on trying it, but worth asking about at the derm

  8. I know this is a BEC thing, but one of the male junior staff on my team always introduces himself at meetings without the ‘junior’ part of this title so it looks like we’re closer to peers.

    2. I was an associate director as well as an associate VP. When in meetings solo, I dropped the associate. When with my boss, I actually didn’t use my title at all and said “I work for Boss as head of X function” or “I oversee___”. Saying out loud “associate director” or “AVP” is just kind of clunky.

    4. Ahhhh, yeah, sorry I would have done this too, and I advise new grad hires to do the same. To communicate the hierarchy/seniority level, I’d recommend phrasing more like “I’m Anecdata, and I’ll be leading XYZ on this project” if you’re the senior person.

      To be fair, I think US tech has gone to a place where “Junior XYZ” is a pretty uncommon title, and many companies use “XYZ -> Senior XYZ” (where senior is likely 2-5 years experience), or possibly something like “XYZ 1 -> XYZ 2 -> Senior XYZ”; so the only people I see using “junior” are usually international students from countries where it’s still common.

    5. I had a job with a long title, and would just shorten it. In places where I’ve worked, it doesn’t come across well using the exact associate/senior/whatever verbally in meetings. Caveat- unless it’s a new client meeting, they need to know who is more senior.

    6. I’m not big on titles (I usually say “I run Engineering” when I’m introducing myself), but I’m actually a VP. Recently our CTO introduced me on a client call as Director of Engineering and I had to correct him. Really irritating.

    7. Here for this pettiness. I once attended a conference with one of my direct reports but arrived a day after he did (missing the welcome event). I found out that he was introducing himself with my title/implying that he did my job because people kept asking me, “oh, so the same as JimBobSteve?” Then after the conference I was forwarded an e-mail chain (from him!) where he referred to himself as my title (and our titles are not the same but with Sr. or Jr. added, so it’s not a matter of leaving that out). I never called him out on it since he was otherwise a good employee, but it did alter my perception of him.

      1. I’m technically 3 levels above this guy and he’s not the brightest bulb which is why I think it grates on me so much

    8. Hmmm…. Saying analyst instead of “junior” analyst or whatever his formal title when meeting people seems pretty typical.

  9. Are full suits still standard for interviews? Chicago area nonprofits, for context. And any suggestions for where to get some business clothes on a budget for a 40 year old? I’ve worked from home in athleisure/PJs since 2020 and before that I was in a higher ed staff role for a decade+ where I could dress very casually even at the office, so I no longer own any business or even business casual clothes that fit. I don’t want to look like a new college grad in my first interview suit but I’m interviewing for fully remote roles and don’t anticipate needing business clothing outside of the interview process, so I don’t want to throw a lot of money at this.

    1. The more senior you are, the less likely a traditional suit. Midcareer women I interview are most frequently either in a sheath or ‘column of color’ topped by a coordinating tweed or similar jacket.

      1. It’s funny how when you’re more senior you don’t really want to be in a traditional suit. I guess its showing off that you have more leeway than the first year in a grey suit.

    2. Not usually for nonprofits. I didn’t interview in a full suit for any of the nonprofit jobs I held even 10 years ago. I would wear either a blazer or lady jacket/sweater instead — and in a fun color if that’s your style. It’s going to be more like higher ed staff (have worked in both) unless it’s some type of association nonprofit which may be slightly more formal.

    3. I am relatively senior at an NYC arts nonprofit, so maybe a little more casual (the arts piece). But FWIW, I would do a blazer and coordinating pants, but probably not a matching suit. I think nonprofits tend to be a little more flexible with clothing as no one has the budget to be perfect. You could probably even do a nice sweater blazer. If you know what size will fit, try buying used through ThredUp, especially for jackets/tops. I find pants a little harder to fit. BR Factory and J Crew Factory are also good places for workwear. Good luck on your interview!!!

    4. I recently had to buy clothes for conferences and got almost all of it from Marshalls/TJ Maxx. I didn’t need a full suit though, more a dress and blazer or the column of color other commenters described.

    5. In many industries and locations, suits haven’t been standard for interviews for a long time, but of course, it varies. I was pleasantly surprised to find a lot of great items at a LOFT outlet, mostly stylish blouses and pants.

    6. The answer is what was common practice before the pandemic is back except heels turned into dressy flats. So yes possibly a suit but not a junior style black one with a white shirt. Slacks and a blazer work too but only if dressy. People expect you to dress for interviews.

    7. I’m in Chicago. I’d wear a blazer, but no need for a full suit at most nonprofits. JCrew Factory has nice work pants in stock in person, and sales on lined blazers if you need one. Macys might also have inexpensive blazers in store. Personally, I’d avoid budget blazers because they look cheap.

  10. This top is so pretty but I hate that seam at the waist! There are some skirts that do this too (where they seem to just tack on a bottom) and I think it looks so shoddy.

    2. On the other hand, I like that type of seam because I think it creates the illusion of a waist. (If I’m delusional, don’t tell me.)

  11. I was catching up on yesterday’s posts (I was the one looking for a styling tool for my daughter- thank you all so much!) and I just wanted to say to the poster that has been job hunting for 8+ months: you have done nothing wrong, you are doing it all right. One suggestion I didn’t see yesterday was to network and let people know you are open to contract work. I’m not sure of your field but I’m in healthcare tech and there are a *lot* of contractors around now (easy hire/easy fire) but so many of them end up finding long term roles.

    1. Oh, that was me! Thank you everyone for your kind responses
      (I guess I was feeling vulnerable in case the answer ended up being ‘ actually it *is* all your fault’ so I posted it Anon)

      I would be open to contract work; and when I was looking casually before the layoff (it wasn’t exactly a surprise), I was telling people I was only looking for direct-hire, so that’s a great idea to make sure folks know I’d be open to short-term & contract as well now.

  12. The answer to this question is that maybe I’m just too picky, but, here goes.

    I am so TIRED of cleaning the house all the time. We have cleaners that come every 2 weeks to get things to baseline. We don’t wear shoes in the house. Both DH and I are organized human beings and have places for most things to live. That does nothing for the day-to-day messes and dishes that are created by four humans and two cats. Mess, clutter, and detritus really bugs me, so I feel like I’m always wiping something down or sweeping the floor or picking up other people’s stuff. My kids have been taught to do this stuff. It doesn’t matter; it’s 50/50 on whether they actually remember to wipe down the counters after they make a snack, or pick up their rooms, or whatever. It’s frustrating and I feel like a failure, so please don’t come at me for my kids being slobs because I’VE TRIED. The cats are thankfully not huge shedders, but the 6-month-old kitten is still in a phase where she drags toys and things all over the house. DH is very good at organizing and tidying, but he really isn’t a great everyday cleaner like I am.

    I try to have systems. Laundry gets done most days. One of us starts the dishwasher at night and we all take turns unloading. One of us vacuums in between deep cleans because once every two weeks really isn’t often enough for this many people plus pets. We make our kids re-set their rooms every Wednesday night. Not foolproof, but it helps.

    Is the answer that this is life and I need to get over it? Because the little everyday messes are breaking me. I also wonder if this is just part and parcel of having a house with a fairly open floor plan; the mess is just in my face at all times.

    1. I’m sorry. It sounds like you’re the victim of your high expectations. But it also sounds like you’re doing everything right, and maybe it’s just a thing that has to be ignored for the time being, for the sake of your sanity and familial relationships.

    2. This is just life. Humans and pets don’t live in a museum or under a glass bell. No kid, and most adults aren’t going to wipe down counters every time they make a snack. Dishes do accumulate. Cats cat. You sound as on top of things as a family can possibly be. Far more than I am and I generally think I have my stuff together.
      I think you do need to figure out how to let some things go a bit.

        1. You could get a dog. My cat vomited last night while I was loading the dishwasher. By the time I went to clean it up, less than 5 minutes later, our puppy had eaten it.

    3. Come sit by me. DH and I both WFH and we spent 2 hours cleaning from 7am-9am because the biweekly cleaners come today. Last night we made our 3 kids (8-12) clean their rooms for the cleaners and put away all the junk piled up. We also have a big shedding dog.

      TBH I think we all just have too much stuff and our house is too big because stuff subtly piles up.

      I have no solution, just empathy. And FWIW I asked for a full car detail for christmas because that is also a hot mess.

    4. Keeping house is a full-time job unto itself. That’s why our mothers were SAHMs.

    5. It sounds like your desire for perfect tidiness is sucking the joy from you and your household. My mom used to clear the table while we were still eating – and not only missed out on the opportunity for connection while we were all gathered together, but denied it to the rest of us as well. What joy and connection might you be giving up in the quest for tidiness?

      1. +1. Don’t be the mom who makes kids clean their rooms before having fun on one of their precious 52 Saturdays a year. Don’t refuse to do fun things at home because they make a mess. Not saying you definitely do those things, OP, but you get the idea. The price of a life well-lived is a slightly messier home. I honestly don’t think you can have a full life of work, hobbies, friends, etc AND have an immaculate home.

        1. Ok, every day is precious, and it’s not trauma-inducing to make kids clean their rooms on a Saturday.

        2. I make my 2 boys take 90 minutes each Saturday to tidy up their rooms, run laundry and help me around the house. I refuse to raise 2 men who are clueless about the work it takes to keep a house running.

          1. That’s nice, but consider whether it could be done on a weekday. Unless you have alternate schedules or something, I’m writing under the assumption that Sat and Sun are the only two days the whole family is off work and school together.

          2. You’re doing good work! Part of life is tackling the thankless mundane stuff instead of being lazy.

          3. Anon at 1:43, what exactly do you imagine happens in a home when everyone is “together”? Its yard work, home repair, paying bills, and keeping the house running. Then its sports, activities, friends houses for the kids, and then dinner/movie. It’s ok that its not a hallmark movie of “togetherness.”

          4. Anon @ 1:43 – you need to work on your control issues. People have different values and approaches to life. Geez.

          5. That’s a choice but as people are pointing out, prioritizing chores and yard work doesn’t always send the right message – or enable everyone in the family to have fun. Schedule the fun thing for Saturday morning. Save the chores for the time that’s left.

          7. “Prioritizing fun is a nonsense message” is totally antithetical to how I live my life. Fun is absolutely a priority for my family! We love having fun.

      2. My mom is and always has been that mom. We would rather sit at the table and chat but she would rather immediately clean up. It makes everyone feel like she doesn’t want to talk to us and also that cleaning is more important to her.

        1. OP here, and yes, my mom is totally this way. I promise I’m trying really hard to NOT be this way. ;)

        2. I wonder if that’s the case though. I get so antsy at the end of dinner and people staying at the table to talk is my personal torture, even with people I otherwise love.

        3. OMG, you just made me remember, my dad use to do this on the holidays and it was so annoying

        4. You know, you could get everybody’s needs met by helping her clean up and/or chatting at the same time. When my daughter was growing up, the kitchen table was right next to the cleanup area and her job was to sit and keep me company while I cleaned up and did the dishes.

    6. Switch your cleaners to every week. It is life changing. I haven’t cleaned a toilet or anything other than a kitchen counter/dining table in years.

      Not sure what your budget is, but we also have a daily housekeeper (separate from the cleaners) who comes from 1-2 hours a day M-F and does all dishes, most of our laundry, straightens up the sofa area and makes our bed (but does not make the kids’ beds or put their toys away, they do that). She also wipes down kitchen and dining table counters and neatens up our piles of mail and other random stuff that ends up in the kitchen, so that when we get home, the house feels neat. It’s $30/hour and worth every cent.

      1. Oh wow the daily housekeeper sounds amazing. Where did you find the person you hired?

        1. She used to be our friend’s nanny but decided she wanted fewer hours (and no afternoon hours) so she transitioned to being a house manage/housekeeper. She has 3 or 4 families and does 1-2 hours per house (she doesn’t go to everyone’s house every day, but for us she does M-F).

      2. We switched to weekly cleaners, and it helps. It’s not a total panacea, but it’s money well spent for my sanity.

        1. We recently did this when our baby become a toddler – we are fortunate to be able to swing the extra expense and it is very worth it to us. Our cleaner also charges slightly less per cleaning for weekly cleanings, so it ends up being a little less than double the biweekly cost, which is nice.

      3. I switched from once every two weeks to once a week when my second kid was born. Every other week is really just bathrooms and kitchen; it’s shorter. From my perspective this is a lot. But I have friend who have them 3x a week. He looked at my horrified when I explained that I clean in between visits. I know people who are literally annoyed on nights where they have to do their own dishes. It sounds like this important to your sanity so I want you to consider it. There are worst things to spend money on.

      4. Agree. Every once in a while we think we want to save money by going to every-other-week house cleaning, and we always go back to weekly because it makes a huge difference.

      5. I guess I have lower standards, but we only have biweekly cleaners and I also haven’t cleaned a toilet in years (decades)… my husband and I do have separate bathrooms, and the guest bathroom is almost never used, but once every two weeks has always seemed completely fine to me.
        I do think weekly cleaners can help with managing the clutter, although possibly just because you have to tidy for them more frequently.

    7. This is part of an open floor plan, owning cats, and living with humans who have varying levels of tidiness. You might find it exhausting to see crumbs on the counter, the kids and DH might find it exhausting to keep the counter spotless at all times. Don’t feel like a failure. The people with immaculate homes either don’t have as many living beings present, cleaning is their #1 priority all the time, or they have a daily housekeeper. Maybe it’s time for some speckled granite countertops and lots of “junk” bins around the house.

    8. Probably? I don’t know if it’s possible to reframe and be bothered by some of this less. For example with certain types of cat toy, all over the house is where they belong in my mind, unless I’m literally about to vacuum. But I do get cat toys that I think are cute and don’t mind seeing around as much. Even with dishes, a mug or a plate left on the coffee table bugs me a little less if it’s aesthetic, or enough less that I’m more patient to wait for somebody else to get it to the kitchen vs. feeling like I have to do it myself right away.

      I think it’s great the kids have learned to do this stuff; learning to remember to do it is just the next step and they may not be old enough for it yet. I hate feeling like it’s my job to remind since it feels like nagging, but I don’t know if someone has come up with a way. (Growing up, I remember my mom would sing the Barney song, “clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere,” and it drove me crazy, but it was like magic for my younger siblings who loved Barney.)

      1. Haha, agree with having cute cat toys that you like to see all over the house. And as soon as I put them back in their bin so I can vacuum, the cats drag their favorites back out again, which makes me laugh. I’m otherwise a neat freak, but the cat toys don’t really bug me.

    9. Not to be rude, but getting a kitten means this is going to be your life for the next decade plus. If you did not want cat hair, don’t keep getting fresh new cats!

      1. I’m well aware how cats work, and I specifically said that the cats aren’t huge shedders. The kitten is kittening, and I know she will calm down in time.

    10. With two cats, I consider a roomba (or equivalent) pretty much a necessity. And I still have to sweep around the litter box at least once a day. And I do just constantly go around wiping things down whenever I have a spare moment in the kitchen, but that doesn’t really bother me, because what else would I be doing while waiting for my toast or the microwave or whatever? As long as I have a podcast in my ears, I don’t mind a extra few minutes cleaning.

      1. Yeeeees, I finally got one and it cleans so much better! I think because it’s slower.

    11. What’s your sense of how much of it is mess (crumbs on counter, floors need sweeping, table needs wiped down) vs. clutter (things left out/not returned to their place) and which type bothers you more – could be a good way to prioritize what is actually worth the time/effort to improve.

      For what it’s worth – don’t know how old your kids are, but 50/50 at remembering to clean up after themselves sounds pretty good! (Like, not that you should tell them that’s acceptable, but that you’re doing fine as parents).

    13. I’ve worked hard to be this lazy. My mother was constantly cleaning and tidying. I grew up thinking that I was a failure if my house wasn’t ready for guests at every moment. My first year in biglaw, I broke down every day when I walked in the door because there was dust on the floor and makeup around the bathroom sink. I hired cleaners but you’re right, an every other week cleaning just isn’t enough for those kind of standards.

      I had to let go. Tidier is not actually better. It’s not better to have kittens chewing on my oriental rugs than chewing on their toys, but that’s what happens if all the toys are always put away. Out of sight out of mind. The kittens are much happier with their toys strewn all about the house. I am much happier because the kittens aren’t dive bombing me and destroying my stuff.

      It’s still a process for me. I have to remind myself to consider, does having this standard make me/my family happier? Or is it taking away from our happiness and the functionality of our home?

    14. I have two dogs and had to switch to a weekly cleaner. I also have a Roomba that is scheduled to run daily, so that helps with keeping the floors clean (and forces me to pick up dog toys). If you can afford it, this is the easy button solution for you.

    15. Yeah this is a you getting over it thing. Counters get wiped like once a day in my house not after every snack

    16. I think it helps to accept that tidying up is a part of daily life, so you aren’t extra annoyed all the time like it should be vastly different. At least we don’t have to wash clothes by hand, grow your own food, or shove wood into the stove all day long, right?

    18. I switched my housekeeper to weekly when I had my second child about 15 years ago. It was sort a pity decision to give her more hours (she’d been watching my first kid some days) but honestly, it keeps the house clean enough for me to keep on living with my family.

      I’m a bit of a Felix Unger / neatnik type, and my very Type B husband and Type B son are 100% happy and fine with stuff strewn all around, even my Type A daughter has a penchant for things like making a dirty teacup collection in her room. I think some of it is just living with other people, but some of it is that I really, really need things to be orderly and clean-ish.

      Also I’ve decided that since there is no Bureau of State Standards for Junk Storage, it’s OK that 80% of the drawers and closets in my house are not clean, neat, and organized.

    19. I don’t know how any family with two working parents, kids and pets has a clean house all the time. We have a cleaner every two weeks and the house is pretty much a mess in between.

  13. Whoa. I did not realize that in Alaska, it’s illegal to have alcohol in some towns. There are some dry towns in my state, but I think that that just means no places sell drinks by the glass. You can still possess and drink it.

    Is this really legal? Do I have to worry about this elsewhere in the US?

    Supreme Court case for this term involving it: https://www.scotusblog.com/cases/case-files/jouppi-v-alaska/

      1. No doubt alcohol is still harmful even if it is legal. But as a person who does not want to have a record or go to jail, it would never dawn on me that I could be breaking a law like this. Or that this existed. It’s not good to create a trap for the unwary. At least you have to be told the speed limit via road signs, etc. But how are you supposed to have a hint that this event exists in the US (vs other countries that you might suspect have, if not alcohol restrictions, limits on food / agricultural products you can bring into the country at border crossings and on planes).

        1. ??? Are you planning to open a restaurant in Alaska without investigating whether you can get a liquor license first? If not, how do you think you’d run afoul of this?

          3. I’m aware of some lower-48 Native American reservations that prohibit possession entirely, so that might be a thing to check if you’re planning a trip

          4. Right. OP, might I suggest a run or other hard workout? That helps with anxiety and no, you do not need to worry about this.

        2. You will most likely never go to these villages, so you have nothing to worry about. I’m from Alaska and many people who live here all their lives never go to them. I have been to dry villages, and its usually posted at the airport gate that bringing in alcohol is prohibited and bags are subject to search.

          1. I don’t know that, actually. A lot of people from the lower 48 visit Alaska and even if they are on a boat, do port excursions. I know I don’t read up on local laws for vacation visits for things like this.

          4. I’m assuming these are Inuit communities that are basically inaccessible by roads? I’ve visited Alaska 4 times and never been to one. I don’t think they’re tourist destinations. And obviously cruise ports are not dry.

          5. well, in that case, either your cruise line would know the rules or presumably you’ve Googled where it is you’ve decided to visit.

        3. Omg get a grip. This isn’t about you random middle aged lady. It’s about devastation of indigenous communities. Get the meds you clearly need.

          1. While the OPs question is kinda oblivious, this response seems an overreaction, no?

        4. Unless you have some very specialized education, surely there are all kinds of laws you don’t know about that you probably break sometimes already.

        5. I’ve visited Alaska and done some backcountry travel there in truly remote areas you can only reach by boat.

          I just looked at the case; this pilot transported over a dozen bottles of beer to a remote, fly in only village. I don’t think any tourists are visiting Beaver, AK or landing there on accident. It’s an interesting case, but agree with the others that the casual tourist shouldn’t be concerned.

          1. And I don’t think it’s so much that he flew it in there, but he flew someone who was bringing it and apparently one 6-pack was in a place he could have seen it. It all belonged to the passenger, not to him.

            Glad my Uber drivers don’t do this to me.

          2. As a charter pilot or lodge owner, he knows the rules and is responsible for his passengers. The case states that the 6 pack was in a place he could see it, meaning he (as the responsible party) knew it was there and allowed it anyway. In my brief reading of the case, he’s fighting the severity of the penalty, but not the fact that he knowingly broke the law.

    3. Let’s say you go to South Dakota a lot, where there is a large reservation. Ditto Arizona, where there are many. Do you really need to check about this (assuming you are just a person often just driving through, perhaps stopping for a meal or gas, not trying to resell any grocery items you may have in your trunk (a bottle of wine to be given as a hostess gift or some wine you bought at a winery and are driving back with). IDK if native land is what made Alaska different, but it’s not like you expect things there to be exactly the same.

      1. Tribal criminal jurisdiction is really limited, so this is not a reasonable thing to be concerned about. Tribes do not have inherent jurisdiction over non-Indians and can generally only exercise criminal jurisdiction over non-Indians pursuant to a specific grant of it under federal law, such as the Major Crimes Act.

      2. I live in NM (not the poster below). There are no checkpoints or anything on the highways/main roads that cross the reservations, just signs letting you know you’re subject to the laws of that reservation. I don’t worry about having unopened alcohol in my car, but if I were to get pulled over for some reason and it became an issue … well that’s on me for not following the law.

    4. Same in New Mexico, specifically towns that are within or in close proximity to the Navajo Nation reservation. Native Americans face particularly intense challenges from alcohol. The truth is that a big part of it is biology/genetics.

  14. I have to go to a work event this afternoon. I’m feeling really burned out at work and have some stressful things going on in my personal life, as well as being an introverted person with some social anxiety. I like enough people at my company that I can usually handle these things, but right now I have no idea how to make cheerful work related small talk. Any tips?

    1. How are you at asking questions and keeping the focus on the person you are talking to? Can you look forward to hearing everyone’s holiday plans (travel, entertainment), or even empathizing with whatever they have going on personally that they end up talking about? Sometimes preparing a few conversational pivots is enough to get away with vague answers.

      1. All of the above plus actually make yourself some talking points or a rough script. I’m an introvert, and I’ve found that writing down what I want to say before a meeting I’m dreading really helps me feel prepared. I don’t memorize it, or often even stick to it, but it gives me the confidence I need to feel a bit more ready. And in general, asking lots of questions–nothing too probing or personal–is a great way to make conversation. People generally like talking about themselves.

    2. I’ve been in a similar boat a few times (going through some heavy things at the time, really not in the mood, but having to pull it together for a work social event), and it really helped me to come up with a few pre-prepared conversation starters or light/funny work related anecdotes. That let me just go on autopilot for the event.

      A few of those times, I was lucky enough to have one or two people there that I was closer to, and who I could retreat to to chat a little more honestly and just have some downtime from being “on” without looking antisocial. I know this isn’t available in every gathering, but if you do have a closer friend or two, that could help a lot too.

    3. Drop in, socialize as much as you can stand, and bounce when the opportunity arises. I hear you. I am dreading my workplace’s holiday event next week because I am so burned out and don’t have much left in me.

    4. Give yourself an escape plan, i.e., you have to leave at x p.m. because you have to pick up a kid/meet your neighbor/attend another party, etc.

    5. I know this might sound silly, but pretend you are an actress. You have a big role coming up where you will be staring as a corporate gogetter. As preparation your agent is making you attend the event. You’ll need to talk to at least 5 people, and ask them lots of questions about their holiday plans, recent or planned travel, and their year. You have to stay until speeches are over, but leave after you see 2 other people say goodbye in order to maintain your air of mystery

      1. Yes someone once posted here about looking at awkward work situations like an anthropologist studying a new culture, and that’s really helped me. Just notice what’s happening in a clinical way but don’t internalize it.

    6. Do a hit and run. Go, walk around and make sure you’re seen, if there are any photos, make sure you’re in some, then leave as soon as you can.

      1. +1

        I also like the suggestion to think about a few questions to ask people and answers to anticipated questions so that you don’t get stuck trying to generate imaginary cheerfulness on the spot.

        Like if they say how’s your December going you can say something about ‘oh the usual year-end craziness on Project X but I’m looking forward to decorating the tree this weekend’ rather than just staring at them and saying ‘fine’

    7. the biggest thing I do to help my social anxiety is planning a bit of a script before events like this. Think of a few easy questions/conversation starters (what’s the best holiday treat you’ve had this year so far? do you travel for the holidays or hanging around here? etc) and mentally prep a few quick, breezy anecdotes. Avoid the “what’s new with you lately?” “uhh not much..” . Just having those in my back pocket helps me feel less anxious. And often it’s easy redirection – you don’t have to bare how tough life is right now, tell them about the chaos of everything that went wrong trying to put lights up outside and you’re golden.

    8. I am a big believer in coming prepped with some small talk topics that actually are fun and get you out of the “how are you what’s going on how are things” vortex. Some possibilities:

      What’s your favorite Christmas cookie?
      Have you seen the new Taylor Swift documentary yet?
      I’m really excited to watch some new holiday movies this weekend; how about you?
      It’s been a really busy season at work, so I’ve been getting through it by looking forward to my next trip/going for a run/having some quiet time between Christmas and New Years/whatever you can actually talk about. What are you looking forward to?

    9. I am generally good at being social, but work parties are the worst. The time I felt like I won the office holiday party I showed up a half hour late after a pre-party with close colleagues, had 1 drink, made the rounds, and then caught a ride home with the COO who had to leave early and had one seat left in his car. Perfection!

      1. Speak for yourself. I actually like my coworkers and therefore enjoy work parties!

  15. How do I address a holiday card in this scenario? Mom is a doctor and retained her last name. Everyone else is dad’s last name. This is a friend of my kiddo. Everyone else is just “The Lastname Family”. Mom is super duper crazy chill so I cannot fathom she cares but I’d like to make an effort… Help!

      1. +1 although I use an & instead of a dash (to distinguish from a hyphenated joint last name)

    2. The Momlast and Dadlast Family

      Dr. Momlast, Mr. Dadlast, and Miss/Master dadlast

      Dr. Momlast, Mr. Dadlast, and Family

      FWIW, for a formal address, the person with the highest “rank” should be listed first. Military rank, if applicable, outranks everything else. A woman doctor should be listed before her non-doctor husband.

    3. Smith & Jones Family

      Thanks for making an effort! I have a different last name than the rest of my family and appreciate it when my name is included.

    4. Ha, I’m literally the Mom here and I call us The LastName MyLastName Family. It’s appreciated when my name is acknowledged!

    5. If it’s your kid’s friend you could always do “Kid Name + family”. It might be fun for the kid to get her own mail.

    7. KiddoName & Family
      KiddoName & FirstNames

      As long as the address is correct the psot office will get them there.

    9. We go by “The Smith Jones Family”. I’m divorced and remarried but kept my first married last name to match my son’s, so I’m Anon FirstMarried. My mother addresses me as Anon Maiden SecondMarried because she hates my exH, cannot bring herself to write that name down, and honestly it makes me rage at her for not respecting my choice. (This is actually a hot topic in my house right now!).

      1. Are we sisters? :-) I am also Anon FirstMarried to have the same last name as my minor children and because I have a 20-year professional career under that name. My mom absolutely cannot wrap her head around this. She sent me something addressed to Mrs. SecondMarried, and I thought it was for my MIL.

  16. Hi all! A fun Friday ask: help me with ideas for a honeymoon! We are getting married November 2026 (middle of the month) and want to go somewhere right after. I’m thinking maybe 10-12 days total inclusive of travel time. We’re in northern VA right outside of DC and we want to go somewhere we wouldn’t likely travel to again. Some ideas we’ve thrown around are Bora Bora, South Africa, and Vietnam. Looking to visit areas where the weather would be nice, and I think we both want more of a relaxing trip with some activities sprinkled in. We’re having a small wedding so we’re a bit more flexible in terms of budget and I’m hoping to utilize credit card points. Any recommendations for beautiful resorts etc., please send my way! Appreciate any advice and suggestions! Also open to a travel planner or other resources folks may have.

    1. We went to Bora Bora for a milestone anniversary and I highly recommend. It’s uniquely beautiful and after ~50 counties is the place I’ve been saddest to leave. I also think it’s one of the most romantics places in the world.

      South Africa is also great but I’m not sure that’s the ideal time of year for a trip. We went in US summer/their winter and the weather was great. Safari is also supposed to be better in winter since the lack of rain draws the animals out to watering holes.

    2. Congrats! OCt 2025 bride in NOVA – we did 10 days in Morocco and it was amazing. Travel was painless! There are directs from IAD via Air Maroc but we decided to go with TAP (which I’ve flown before). Seamless!

    3. Coming from the east coast, I would recommend Moorea rather than Bora Bora. It is also really beautiful but cuts a couple of hours and several hundred dollars off the trip. Bora Bora requires a flight from the international airport on Tahiti, which usually means you are either spending a night or a full day in Papeete, while Moorea can reached by ferry (or flight but the ferries are cheap, frequent and usually on time).

      1. Oh I completely disagree. Moorea was nice but felt very similar to Hawaii to me. Bora Bora was so much more unique and worth the long journey. If we ever get back to Tahiti we will 100% revisit Bora Bora and not Moorea. We did overnight at the airport motel in Papeete, but honestly that was very welcome after the international flight which I think landed at 10 pm local time or something like that. I wouldn’t have wanted to get on a ferry right away even if it was an option. The flight to Bora Bora is scheduled as 50 minutes but is only about 10-15 minutes in the air, so if you fly in the morning you’ll still have the whole day there. The views from that flight are also very scenic and to me it felt more like a flightseeing excursion that you’d pay $$$ for than a normal plane flight.

      2. I went to Tahiti for my honeymoon and my 10th anniversary. I agree on Moorea over Bora Bora. Bora Bora is beautiful but the resorts are huge and corporate. Plus you can get to Moorea the day you arrive, whereas with Bora Bora you have to stay over in Papeete for a night first. I’ve done it both ways and staying over one night is just a pain. I would 100% do Moorea first and get started on my vacation sooner. There are other beautiful islands as well such as Huahine and Tahaa.

        1. I just got back from Huahine and agree that it is absolutely amazing. Without a doubt, it is my favorite island in French Polynesia. That said, for a first time visitor, the tourist infrastructure is not very well developed. It also has the same issue as Bora Bora in terms of flight times and losing a day, with even fewer daily flights.

          The more distant islands are amazing, but with only 10 days I would be reluctant to give one up to inter- Island flights.

          Moorea vs Bora Bora is very much a matter of personal preference. I find most of the Bora Bora hotels to be very corporate, but they do tend to have amazing service with staff who speak excellent English. Moorea has more options for smaller (less expensive) hotels without the need to be transported from a motu to the main island. But if you’re looking for a more luxury experience, then Bora Bora certainly has that advantage.

    4. Vietnam! It’s fantastic and not very expensive! I used this travel agent on my last trip and she was great (She’s in California but I did everything over email and phone and you can, too.)

      Cam Tsai
      Signature Travel & Tours
      9741 Bolsa Ave. suite 218
      Westminster CA 92683
      Tel: 714-839 9898 & 714-899 1288
      Fax: 714-899 1388
      http://www.signaturett.com

    6. Plug for Vietnam- I went in December a few years ago and it was beautiful weather, cheap, and so much to do!

  17. Crowdsourcing for ideas: for some Christmas magic I am looking to make a “poof” of “Magic” appear under my doorbell camera.

    Ideas? I think flour is too obvious and glitter is too messy. I have edible Glitter but it’s kind of clumpy and won’t look good on camera.

    2. Confectioner’s sugar? It could be sifted on with a confectioner’s sugar sifter or flour sifter.

  18. OMG, you just made me remember, my dad use to do this on the holidays and it was so annoying

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