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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 117 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: Black and Green Tank Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Calvin Klein Black and Green Tank Dress with Belt | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. For some reason I always think of Calvin Klein dresses as lucky finds at TJ Maxx or the like — they often come down to this price range (around $50) and in many ways are great dresses. This black sheath dress is 22″ long from the waist, and I love the bright teal stripe detail — it's interesting and flattering without being crazy bright. I might try it with a bright purple or red blazer if I were being adventurous, but I think it would also look great with a gray or white. The keyhole detail at the neck is also great. The dress was $134, but is now $43.50 at Bluefly. Calvin Klein Black and Green Tank Dress with Belt Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. P.S. Today marks the start of a week of early access to the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale for Nordstrom RewardsTM members (through 7/17; sale starts on 7/18). Happy shopping — and tell us what you get! P.P.S. Update @ 10:30 a.m.: No, it's not just you! It sounds like everyone is having issues with Nordstrom's site this morning. Here are a couple of official responses to people who posted on their Facebook page: “We're so sorry for any frustration this may have caused. Our website is experiencing some issues currently which we are working hard to fix. If you would like help placing an order, you can email contact@nordstrom.com with your phone number and items you would like to purchase and we will gladly assist you.” “Thanks for letting us know you're having this issue also. We're hoping to get it fixed soon, but in the meantime; please call us at 1-888-282-6060 to complete your order. We're truly sorry for any inconvenience.” (L-2)

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Comments

  1. Chrissy

    Looks pretty short to be work appropriate. Questioning this pic….certainly wouldn’t work in my office unless I was channeling my inner Ally McBeal.

  2. LifeScienceGoingToFinance

    What to wear for Skype interview for MBA studies?

    I will have an interview for an MBA program, which is on Skype next Monday . I have to do it from my workplace (booked a well-lit seminar room already). Now I am wondering what to wear. I read the article on Corporette already, but maybe you have some recent insider experience?
    For background, I am a scientist, so changing into a full suit is not an option, but I am wondering whether white blouse or a jewel-colored shirt with a dark blazer would work. What about jewelry (pearl earrings?). Or is a blazer too much already? Any advice on what to wear? Also, do you have any other tips, regarding make-up, lighting, positioning the laptop? TIA

    • Michelle

      Most likely you will just be visible from the shoulders or so up, so a full suit isn’t necessary. I think a professional blouse/blazer combo is perfect, conservative jewelry and makeup is fine – nothing distracting since your face will be somewhat in closeup. Test out the position of the screen in advance so that you can look at the screen naturally without straining your neck up or down, and see how the makeup etc looks over the internet with the lighting in the room. You might want to try positioning the screen so you’re standing – I have seen advice that it is easier to focus on the call from that position.
      A dry run will make you best prepared so maybe Skype with a friend from the setup you intend to use to get all the kinks ironed out ahead. And good luck!

    • layered bob

      I would avoid white on Skype – saturated but not too dark colors look best on screen I think. I also need more makeup than I usually wear (which is close to none), especially lipstick. Go ahead with jewelry; I think pearl earrings are fine.

      Definitely recommend doing a test run – get all your experiments and fidgeting out of the way ahead of time, looking at yourself on the screen, so when you do your actual interview you can look straight into the camera *without* looking at yourself on the screen – because you already know how you look.

      • nutella

        Jewelry, yes, but I would advise against anything that moves in any way or makes a noise. Even though they can’t see your hands, you don’t want them hearing your bracelets chiming. (I’d recommend holding onto a pencil or something, so your hands are not flying around or even so they don’t see your shoulders jerking about but no corresponding hand gestures — it can be very distracting.)

        I’d also advise against any pattern (even small stripes) on the blouse and against very saturated, jewel-toned tops. Put on a little extra blush, put the conversation screen of them as close to the camera as possible so it looks like you are looking them in the eye when you speak. Speak slowly with a lower voice than you may be used to, make sure the room won’t echo. If you need notes, see if you can place them high so that from the camera angle it doesn’t look like your eyes are shifting so much. Remember that unlike in real life, they are focusing on just your face, so smile and be alert.

    • emeralds

      I did a lot of Skype interviews when I was applying to grad school from abroad, and a couple more in my most recent job search. +1 all of Michelle’s advice, and will add that blouses with small prints don’t tend to translate well through the screen. Definitely no need for a full suit; I usually just touched up my hair and makeup, and threw a blazer on top of whatever I wore to work.

      One minor hack I’ve used for every Skype interview I’ve done was to stick a book or three under my laptop, to raise the level of the camera a little bit. It helps with the under-chin blerghness, and I think it helped me make better eye contact with your interviewers since the camera was more on the level of my eyes.

    • LifeScienceGoingToFinance

      Thanks everyone for your suggestions and advice. I will try to practice tomorrow if I can get the seminar room.

  3. Marie

    Cute dress! Not sure about the shoes, I would wear them out with friends but probably not to work. What do y’all think?

    Early TJ: I was an SA at a firm last summer and am planning to go back(yay!), but first I am doing a clerkship in the same city. I am really excited for the clerkship but I am a little worried that the people at my firm will forget about me and not remember me when I come back! Since I will in the same city, it would be easy to make plans to see people from the firm (and I feel like it would be weird not to). Is that the right instinct? Assuming my judge is ok with it, would it be appropriate to ask people I worked with last summer to grab lunch or drinks? I’m also kind of shy and I spent a lot of last summer in abject terror of getting no offered, so while I was friendly with coworkers, I didn’t get particularly close with them… And I am afraid I wouldn’t know what to talk about! Any advice on this kind of “networking” would be so appreciated!

    • Romey

      Marie, I think meeting with people at your firm is definitely the right instinct. I’m not sure if I would offer meeting for drinks, but I would definitely offer meeting for lunch, coffee or a time that is convenient for them. It’s a great way for you to stay in touch with the people you’ll be working with and also so they can form a positive impression about you so that when you start, you can hit the ground running. I honestly don’t think you would even have to ask your judge, but I’m not a litigator so I’ll defer to those who have experience clerking.

      • Anon

        I think drinks is perfectly fine and very law firm typical/normal. Yes, it’s a know your office thing, but I’ve never heard of a law firm where drinks were inappropriate.

        • Tx. Anon

          At mine, there are some people who would be offended by an offer to meet for drinks. Definitely a NYO thing.

          • Marie

            I actually don’t even drink alcohol, so realistically I’d probably suggest lunch or coffee. :) I don’t know why I even said “drinks” because I probably wouldn’t suggest it ha.

            Other than the usual chitchat & catching up, are there any topics that would be good to bring up with them? Would work topics be appropriate? Or keep it to “extracurricular” things we have in common/current events/etc? I wouldn’t want to breach any confidentiality restraints or anything by getting too specific with work stuff, but I am interested in what people are working on. What do you all think?

    • rosie

      I think this is fine. If your firm has events, they may even invite you to them.

      I don’t think you need to ask your judge about this, specifically, but you do need to tell your judge about your offer and see if you are allowed to formally accept it, or if there are any ethics restrictions on paying for meals, etc. if you attend a firm event.

      • Marie

        I hadn’t even thought of that; hopefully they will!

        And yes – I wasn’t clear, but judge knows about my offer and was fine with me accepting.

    • Alanna of Trebond

      I think you do have to ask your judge, but I think the judge is likely to approve it.

  4. Lafayette 148 NY dress sizing?

    I am very tempted to buy a Lafayette 148 NY sheath dress I have been eyeing, but have never worn this brand. I looked back through archives and it seems like Lafayette 148 runs big, but most of the comments were about pants. Do the dresses run big? I am a size 2 in Tahari dresses if that helps.

    • Cat

      Yes – I size down by at least one, if not two, sizes (even the sheath styles and even though I’m a definite pear/hourglass).

    • West Coast

      If you are busty on top, don’t size down. I find that the size on top is about the same (sometimes Lafayette even runs smaller than Tahari), but the Lafayette 148 dresses run at least a size bigger through the hips–I always need tailoring.

  5. (former) preg 3L

    I recently stopped eating dairy for health reasons. What are your favorite dairy substitutes? I’ve started adding vanilla soy milk to my coffee but then a friend told me I should switch to almond milk — any opinions on that? What foods should I watch out for, as far as hidden dairy content? TIA!

    • Romey

      I did whole30 in January and I actually found that I grew accustomed to and liked the taste of black coffee! I think it’s something that you might like after you try it a few times, so I would suggest that; otherwise try coconut butter (that’s what people who do whole30 suggest). You can put some in your coffee and pop it in the microwave for a few seconds. It adds a creamier texture to the coffee. I personally don’t drink almond milk but I have a few friends who love it.

      • me too

        +1 to black coffee. I discovered it accidentally when I was on vacation and unknowingly ordered a coffee that is supposed to be had black. May be Turkish coffee? I liked it so much that I stopped adding milk to coffee altogether. It’s been two years and I will never go back.

    • Katherine

      I love almond milk, but it’s definitely an acquired taste because it’s not as sweet as dairy milk. If you get one that’s fortified with calcium, they usually have even more calcium than dairy milk. I usually drink unsweetened because I don’t want the added sugar, but the vanilla ones are definitely tasty. I typically get the 365 generic whole foods brand because WF is my closest grocery store and that’s the cheapest one, but I’ve also really enjoyed Califia Farms brand.

      For treats, my bf is lactose intolerant so we like to try different non-dairy ice creams. We recently discovered Pure Decadence Chocolate Obsession and it is SO GOOD. It’s soy based and definitely the closest to “real” ice cream that we’ve found. It’s made by the SoDelicious brand, which also makes a lot of coconut milk based ice cream substitutes in a variety of flavors. The SoDelicious ice creams are good, but the Pure Decadence product line is particularly creamy and delicious. We have the vanilla now and it’s also pretty good (but not as good as Chocolate Obsession…yum yum… haha). My favorite coconut based ice cream substitute is definitely Coconut Bliss.

      Good luck!

      • Wildkitten

        I put sweetened almond milk in my coffee – it’s like adding cream and sugar at once, but is a tiny bit healthier than flavored creamer. So if you’re avoiding diary but not avoiding added sweeteners, that is an option.

    • Medic Maggie

      Almond milk is delicious, as is coconut milk. I don’t like soy as much, but that’s all that my dairy-allergic kid drinks. We use almond & coconut in cooking (baking, usually), but I like to drink almond by itself too.

      As far as hidden dairy, there’s a lot. The big ones to look out for are whey & casein. They’re the two proteins that cause allergic reactions, largely, and they are in a lot of things. You will find it in sandwich breads, many other prepared baked goods & crackers. We look at it with a critical eye, from a “life or death” standpoint, as my son is so allergic. Manufacturers have gotten better about including the “Contains/May Contain Milk” label, but not all of them do. Nonfat dry milk is added to a lot of things (like those breads/baked goods), when it really doesn’t need to be added at all (my from-scratch bread machine recipe calls for it. I never use it, and have baked delicious bread without it). Good luck to you

    • Red Beagle

      To me, unsweetened vanilla almond milk has the best flavor of all the dairy substitutes, and it only has 30-90 calories per cup besides. But YMMV – I would try rice, coconut, coconut/almond, hemp, and whatever else you can find in a vegan market, and see which one you like best.

      • Sadie

        I agree. I have to avoid all dairy and gluten, so it’s a challenge.

        I use unsweetened vanilla almond milk, which generally runs 30-40 calories per cup. I find it works best in cooking/baking as well as tastes the best to me, the vanilla makes it slightly sweet like milk, but getting unsweetened makes it healthier and more useful for cooking. I also find this works best in coffee, some other types of milk have separated in the coffee.

        I’ve used coconut milk and I like it but even the coconut milk ‘beverage’ (that’s with the soy and almond milk ) has a distinct coconut flavor. I don’t mind it for cereal/coffee but it can mess with flavors in cooking, and my husband hates coconut. ;)

        For cheese alternatives, I like the almond milk pepper jack for use in anything I’m making that would like a mexican type flavor, and it melts pretty good if you shred it. I use it to make quesadillas on gluten free tortillas. For other stuff, like making pizza, I use the daiya shreds because I find that texture wise it is the best result. None of it really tastes like cheese, so you just have to try a bunch and see which one tastes the best as it’s own thing. Don’t compare it to cheese. I find the “cheddar” alternatives generally disappointing, have better luck with white cheese alternatives like faux mozzarella or the pepper jack.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I use Earth Balance in place of butter. If you are going 100% dairy free, not just lactose free, you have to watch out for whey and casein, both of which are dairy derivatives. Anything that is labeled as vegan should be 100% dairy free. Some dairy substitutes have whey or casein so I look specifically for the vegan ones. Daiya makes good mock cheese. It isn’t the same consistency so I don’t like eating it on its own but melted on something it is delicious. Amy’s frozen meals has a great gluten free dairy free mac and cheese. They also have a gluten free dairy free pizza. Tofutti is good as a cream cheese substitute. I think they have a sour cream too.

      • Medic Maggie

        I don’t know why my comment is awaiting moderation, but I will +1 to everything Blonde Lawyer said. We use Earth Balance & Fleischmann’s UNsalted (the salted has dairy) stick margarine for baking. We also buy Amy’s dairy-free pizza, as well as their roasted veggie no-cheese pizza (that one is delicious). Van’s has some frozen breakfast options, as does Earth’s Best (if you’re ok eating a frozen waffle with Cookie Monster on the box)

        • anne-on

          Ha. My son loves those waffles, especially the blueberry ones. He’s dairy allergic so a pre-made breakfast option was a godsend.

    • Baconpancakes

      No suggestions for the coffee (you can pry my half n half from my cold, dead hands), but the Trader Joe’s coconut ice cream is AMAZING. The strawberry is (IMHO) even better than most store-bought regular strawberry ice cream.

      On second thought, I would suggest sticking with the soy for coffee, or even going processed and getting the coffee “creamers.” I don’t find almond milk is creamy enough to be a creamer substitute, unless you usually put skim milk in your coffee.

      Have you looked at godairyfree.org?

      • emeralds

        TJ’s coconut ice cream is one of the best frozen desserts I have ever put in my mouth.

    • Marilla

      I use almond milk as a substitute for milk in coffee fairly often and I like it – the first few times it tastes a bit surprising but you get used to it and I really like the taste now. I’ve also used it for baking which has worked out pretty well, except in bread pudding (not enough fat/creaminess and it sort of separated a little). I haven’t tried any of the other non-dairy milks yet. Almond milk ice cream is also delicious, especially the chocolate one.

    • Anonymous

      So I love almond milk, and it has more calcium than dairy milk, but it has really minimal protein (usually 1 gram per serving whereas dairy milk is about 8 grams per serving). So just make sure you are getting enough protein. Besides that, there are a lot of soy yogurts out there and there is vegan butter available as well.

    • Cb

      Milk makes my stomach a bit unhappy but I like almond milk on my cereal (the vanilla, unsweetened one). I also like the soya yogurt and pudding as a snack. I realised that I am hungrier without it (don’t eat loads of meat, not a huge nuts fan, so sometimes veggies and fruit don’t fill me up) so good substitutes are important.

      I also take lactose when I desperately want a pizza express.

    • greenie

      I enjoy SO Delicious Coconut Milk Yogurt. Never found a great substitute for cheese or a good creamy ice cream. I would just have Sorbet for ice cream instead of the soy / coconut milk products. I also second Almond Milk and Earth Balance butter.

    • Anonymous

      I am not a fan of soy at all. I drink and cook with Pacific brand almond milk ($1.99 at TJs!), which was recommended by one of my vegan friends for taste and for being not as additive-heavy as some of the other store brands (it’s never going to be as good as making your own, but I just can’t get into that level of commitment, and mine never tastes the same).

      For yogurt, I love So Delicious coconut milk yogurt. Ice cream, Luna & Larry’s Coconut Bliss is the best.

      What I’ve found and what my friend has told me, the best brand really varies by product, so you can’t just say “I really like X brand’s milk” and just buy that for your ice cream, yogurt, and everything else (well, you *can*, obviously, but you’d be missing out on some other great flavors!)

      I still eat grass-fed butter and goat cheese so no recommendations on totally dairy-free options on those (looks like others have given you quite a few anyway!). But if you’re willing to try goat dairy, it comes in all sorts of types of cheese–not just the traditional chevre. TJs has blocks of goat cheddar at a good price, but I haven’t found goat mozzarella there yet, so I have to go to WF for my pizza cheese.

      • Coach Laura

        I agree with this – it really is a matter of taste and you may have to try a few before you find product(s) that suits you.

        I think with the things like Daiya cheese and Tofutti, you have to let go of any preconceived notions of how “cheese” should taste and like it for itself not as a substitute. That’s how I approach it, at least, for both gluten subs and dairy subs.

        My son is Dairy Free (casein intolerant not just lactose) and gluten free. I am also gluten free but am going to give dairy free a trial next month to see if it alleviates my seasonal allergies – which are more like year-round at this point.

    • Bonnie

      I learned a nifty trick for drinking coffee. If you add cinnamon, it fools your taste buds into not tasting the bitterness. Whole Foods also sells a delicious coconut coffee creamer that I use at home. There have been some studies indicating that too much soy can be bad for you but I’m not too familiar with them.

      • Coach Laura

        Good point about soy – I don’t think teenaged boys or young adult men should drink soy or eat large amounts of processed soy. It messes with their hormones.

    • Meg Murry

      If you are looking to completely eliminate all dairy and dairy derivatives, this is an excellent list of hidden dairy ingredients. http://www.kellymom.com/store/freehandouts/hidden-dairy01.pdf
      Also as an FYI, if you are doing it because you think your baby has a dairy intolerance, the soy protein is very similar to dairy protein and many babies that are dairy intolerant are also soy intolerant, so I wouldn’t substitute dairy with soy.

      Regarding dairy substitutes – if possible, try eliminating dairy and not immediately replacing them with a substitute. A lot of the fake stuff seems disgusting when you have recent memories of the real stuff. But if you haven’t had cheese or ice cream in a few weeks, all of a sudden the non-dairy option doesn’t seem so bad!

      • Medic Maggie

        I will also add that not all women secrete the milk proteins back through their bre@stmilk. I am likely one of them, as my son’s reactions are so severe, yet he had no issues with my milk, and I didn’t alter my diet. Also keep in mind that some studies will tell you that goat dairy is well-tolerated by folks with cow dairy issues, but others say that the proteins are too similar. We have not tried anything goat with our son. And, as Meg mentioned, dairy allergies often have comorbidities with other allergies–soy & egg being pretty common too. ODS tested positive (and has had a positive clinical anaphylactic reaction) to dairy, but tested positive on both skin and RAST for egg, but he can have egg in all forms, even though his latest RAST numbers (from earlier this year) suggest that he is still highly allergic.

        But, for whatever your reasons, the suggestions above are a great start.

    • Ellen

      Great dress and not to expensive! I really would love to be abel to wear this. If I can just keep my tuchus flat for a month, I will start buying dresses like these.

      In this connection, for the benefit of the OP, I also am tryeing to stop eateing so much dairy, particularley CHEEZE and MILK product’s, includeing YOGURT. FOOEY!

      It is NOT easy but I have just discovered SILK SOY MILK–VANILLA–YUMMY!!!!
      I have to start lookeing on the INTERNET to see what other thing’s are made by the Silk Company b/c the vanilla soy milk is VERY CREAMEY. I am stopping all use of 2% and whole milk goeing forward. I wonder if they have good YOGURT? Is the HIVE aware of good yogurt that is NOT dairy?

      • non-dairy yogurt

        Silk makes soy yogurt. So does Whole Soy & Co. They’re both pretty tasty. So Delicious makes coconut milk yogurt too. Good Luck, Ellen!

        • SFAttorney

          I love Whole Soy plain unsweetened but it is hard to find since they restarted production. I mosty see the fruit flavors and sweetened plain.

    • Anon

      I used to drink coffee black but have started adding unsweetened vanilla almond milk for the calcium. I love almond milk and even with the vanilla flavoring I have found that I can use it in most recipes that call for milk without noticing the taste (I use it in my scrambled eggs in the morning). The only time I could taste it was when I tried using it to make canned tomato soup – it was one of the grossest things I have ever eaten. They make unflavored almond milk but I like the vanilla in my coffee and it would not be worth it to me to buy two kinds.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Also, if you look in the gluten free organic aisle in your store there are likely lots of products by “Enjoy Life,” “Vans,” and “Kinnikinnik” products. These have been all dairy free and are delicious. Enjoy Life in particular has chocolate bars that are such a treat. Chocolate almond milk heated up also makes a great substitute for hot chocolate. I’ve even drank it cold w/ vodka and marshmallows for my own version of a white Russian/mudslide.

      • TO Lawyer

        The white russian/mudslide sounds AMAZING – I am going to have to try that.

    • TO Lawyer

      I add cinnamon to the coffee grounds before it brews and it is phenomenal. I also really like the unsweetened vanilla almond milk – I eat that with cereal and it tastes so good. The only other dairy I have is yogurt and cheese but unfortunately I don’t have any substitutions for that.

    • MaggieLizer

      I discovered coconut oil when I stopped eating cow’s milk and I cannot describe how much I love it. I started using it because it’s a great butter substitute, but now I use it in place of olive oil sometimes too. I cook eggs in it, spread it on toast, melt it to drizzle over popcorn, etc. I hear you can bake with it, but I haven’t tried.

      As far as foods to watch out for, you’ll have to read the labels on pretty much anything processed or packaged. Tomato-based pasta sauces and soy products have caught me off guard. At a restaurant, always tell the server you have a dairy allergy. A surprising amount of restaurant food is cooked in or contains butter.

      • anne-on

        Coconut oil is an excellent sub for butter in baking. It tends to make things slightly moister than butter, and it won’t cream as well, but I love it for cakes/brownies/etc. For cookies that require creaming butter/sugar together, earth balance sticks worked well, but I didn’t like the taste as much.

      • mbs

        Coconut oil on popcorn is so incredibly good. I have an air popper, and if I melt 1/2 tbl of coconut oil and drizzle on a bowl of popcorn, I have an awesome, satisfying snack that is about 150 calories, and so much better than microwave popcorn.

    • Anon

      I can’t get on board the nut/bean milk trend – they taste awful to me and they don’t seem to be any more healthy than low-fat dairy (of course, I could be wrong! but I couldn’t find any evidence for it). I buy Organic Valley lactose-free milk, but that wouldn’t work if you have a dairy allergy. A lot of people like almond milk, so don’t let my taste sway you. It may also be possible, depending on your health issue, to drink goat’s milk – it’s not hard to find milk, yogurt, and ice cream that use it instead of cow’s milk.

    • Angela

      I tried almond milk but didn’t love it. Then I tried rice milk, a little less ‘flavourful’. Caveat: I do not love milk, I only put it in tea and cereal. However i do enjoy yogurt and cheese, these are ‘real’ not vegan

  6. Age Q

    We get a lot of posts about really junior or young-looking people trying to look older or at least mature and serious. I am not junior (partner) and not young (43; my Stacy London gray streak is stark white; and I don’t botox or anything), but have gotten a lot of comments recently where people seem to think that I’m in my early 30s. These are all people from work, so I am concerned that I give off an Ally MacBeal vibe (as opposed to Patty Hewes). [If these were all people that my kids play with at the park, I’d be estatic (esp. since those people are often in their early 30s), but that has never happened.]

    I wear suits or the business end of business casual and have upgraded to higher-quality items. I do a fair amount of speaking and dealing directly with clients (mostly men — could that be skewing it?). And now, I feel like the kid who’s shaving in little league — an oldie who gets lumped in with the kids (and I don’t think that this is good, really).

    • Anon

      Honestly enjoy it. Gravitas comes with experience and if you have that and happen to look young it’s a double win. Age discrimination is a thing. I would never try to look older once you actually are.

    • Meg Murry

      Is it because you have a younger child (based off the playground remark)? If it’s men making the remark, they might just associate child under 5 with person in their early thirties, especially if that’s the age they or their wives and friends had kids that age.
      I think the age issue isn’t as important as the business experience issue. If they think you are in your early 30s with less than 10 years of experience in your field when its actually closer to 20 years, that might be a problem. If they seem to respect your experience but just can’t do the math that no one in their early 30s will have almost 20 years experience in the working world – well, you can’t really help people who can’t do math.
      Could you “number drop” a little regarding your experience? Such as “wow, I can’t believe I hit my 15 year anniversary with [company]” or “a lot has changed since I entered XYZ industry almost 20 years ago”

      • Burgher

        I don’t have to number drop, because the first question I typically get is “so how long have you been with your company?” Then confused looks when I say 10 years, and then follow up questions to figure out exactly how old I am. I feel like it starts as a kind-of an underhanded question to see how [in]experienced the little girl is that they are allowing out on the construction site, so I enjoy the reaction. I can’t help that I look young, no matter what I wear. After people know me better, my work speaks for itself.

    • ss

      Do you reckon the comments are about how you project authority and credibility ?

      If yes, one thing that works for me is to step back from volunteering too much, whether it is information (including personal information) or action, and inviting others to contribute instead. I started doing this relatively early, because I was managing and dealing with folks older than myself, and it was an effective way of getting issues and ideas on the table even if I was still responsible for the final decision (and I learnt how to do this from watching my own effective bosses in action).

      If you don’t think they are making veiled comments about your authority, is it really a problem that you emit a youthful vibe ? You’re clearly comfortable with your natural hair colour and un-botoxed look, so why box in your personality :)

  7. NOLA

    Looking at NAS and I need a new coat. Trying to decide between the Ellen Tracy faux shearling walking coat and the Michael Kors zip front boucle wool blend. Any thoughts?

  8. Romey

    Is anyone else having problems buying something from the NAS? I’ve been trying to order for 2 hours and I keep getting error messages. It seems the site is overloaded.

    • Anonymous

      I had an error when I first tried to order this morning. I went back to the final pre-submit order page and noticed that the s1te had deleted my billing address, so that it was blank. I filled in my billing address from my saved addresses, which oddly then changed the card I was paying with to a Nordstrom debit with last 4 numbers that does not match my card. At first, the page wouldn’t let me change the card, but I refreshed and it retained my billing address and at this point did let me change the card to my actual “ending in” card from the drop down. I hit submit and it worked. Hopefully the same will work for you! Reading the comments on FB makes it seem like other people were also having the issue of it populating incorrect billing information.

      • Romey

        OMG, Anon, it seems like that exact thing happened to me. I didn’t even notice it b/c usually Nordies has all of that information already filed for me. Thank you SO much!! It did the same thing to me where I changed my billing address and then it added a card with the last 4 digits that weren’t part of my card, but then I could add my regular card back. Very odd. Thank you!!

        • JJ

          Same thing just happened to me. All my address information was blank and the card info was wrong. Glad it’s not just me!

  9. Distracted

    I need some wisdom here ladies. One of the assistants who sits next to me (we’re in cubes) makes loud distracting noises every day. I’m talking yawns, moans, sighs, burps, etc. You name it, she does it. I’ve already tried headphones (can hear her over them) and have a fan going at all times.

    Is there anything I can say politely to let her know these things are disturbing me? They have been going on for months and I’ve tried to rack my brains for a polite way to say “can you stop yawning (or other body noise) at the top of your lungs?” I can’t and I’m having to delay assignments until she’s not here or take them with me because I literally can’t concentrate with all of it! I moved into this cube about 2 years ago (after asking to move because the other assistants played music all the time), so I’m afraid asking to relocate will label me a special snowflake. I feel so silly about all of this, but as soon as she gets in I immediately feel myself FUMING.

    • AIMS

      Do you think that your reaction to her (“….as soon as she gets in I immediately feel myself FUMING”) is partly to blame for the situation? As in, you anticipate being annoyed so you almost wait for all these distractions to happen which then causes you more distress and also amplifies all her noises? I sometime get that way with people I find annoying and the best solution is to just try to accept it as a given and stop getting annoyed at her. Also, I’d say maybe try better headphones? If you were using the little flimsy ones that come with an iphone, there are better noise cancelling ones available. You could also try earplugs or maybe playing some light music. Or maybe you could vary your schedule so you can get your important work done when she isn’t there (e.g., come in earlier or stay later, take lunch when she comes back from lunch but work through her lunch period, etc.). I wouldn’t ask to move again, but if an opportunity for an open spot comes up, I’d ask for it on some other basis like “I’d love to be closer to X as I do a lot of work that requires me to …”

      If you do say something, I’d frame it as a ‘you’ issue – e.g., “I’m very sensitive to noise and sometimes your yawns, moans, etc. really distract me. Do you think you could be a little bit more conscious about some of these noises? I’d really appreciate it.” If it doesn’t go over well or she seems very put off, I’d drop it.

      • Distracted

        Thanks AIMS. My short fuse is probably part of it, but I’ve talked to others around me and everyone agrees it is ridiculous and distracting. Sadly, I have the noise cancelling headphones and have tried the shifting of schedules. We recently had a shift in configuration, so I may try that opening. I like your suggestion of framing it as a me issue; that way it’s not me picking on her.

        • Anon

          Well, it is a you issue. There are a lot of people who can concentrate in noisy spaces and aren’t distracted so easily.

          • Anon

            Well, she’s not one of them. I’m not either. If I’m focused on a complex, analytical task, the last thing I need is sporadic, unnecessary noise. There’s an assistant that works outside my office and she hums, talks to herself, laughs loudly, talks on the phone, has annoying phone alarms set, etc. It’s annoying. Yeah, the OP can’t lash out at her and tell her not to breath, but it’s not a ridiculous concern. She’s not picking on her, either. It sounds like she has tried a number of reasonable solutions to reduce the distraction on her end.

          • Anon

            She’s making it sound like it’s the other person’s issue when it’s really hers. It may distract her but it’s her issue.

          • Anon

            I dunno, anon, at 11:46, do you audibly burp and moan at your desk that is very close to your coworkers?

            I never moan at work.

        • Anonymous

          I think it’s still going to sound like you are picking on her for making normal human noises. Because you are. I don’t think there’s any way to do this without looking ridiculous.

          • Distracted

            Yes, they are definitely normal human noises, but at very odd noise level. It sounds completely ridiculous, I know, which is part of what I’m struggling with.

          • Clementine

            A few years ago, I would have been fully on team ‘this is your problem, what could be so bad about someone just making normal noises’.

            …and then I sat next to someone I will refer to as ‘The Chewer’. This person could simultaneously slurp and crunch while eating, which managed to take up the vast majority of her day. The noises… oh the noises! Normally, a person sighs and I don’t even resgister it. The volume and just general tone of The Chewer’s noises were just so incredibly grating, I couldn’t stand it. I made it through with a combination of getting in early and powering through, then timing as many meetings as possible to be during our overlapping hours, orange industrial style earplugs, headphones and the occasional lap around the office just to get away.

            You have my sympathy! I suggest that you take another stab at whatever barrier methods you can manage- maybe noise cancelling headphones plus a white noise machine in your cubicle?

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I don’t want to armchair diagnose here but like you I also get extremely distracted by every single noise when I’m not doing something I really want to be doing. If I’m doing something fun though, like reading online, I can totally zone out. I have ADD though and these issues are part of my ADD and part of why I take medication. I’m not saying you have it or that you need medication but it is another reason you might want to consider this a “you” issue – particularly when you were distracted by the other person’s music before this person’s noises.

      While you don’t want to be a special snowflake you might want to present the issue to your manager before you have performance issues. This is easier of course if you have a diagnosis but there is so much stigma around ADD you might not even want to specifically say it. You could say something like “I have a condition that makes it very difficult for me to concentrate in an open office environment. I understand that have already moved me once but I would really like to try other locations until we find one that is a fit. I can get my work one very efficiently when I have a quiet environment but I’m struggling to do it where I am now. As a reasonable accommodation, is there anyway you could give me an office or a lone cube without a neighbor?

      Alternatively, is working from home an option for you? Also, if you do have ADD meds alone or meds and a therapist could get you the skills you need to function at your current desk.

      • Distracted

        Thanks. I definitely don’t have ADD, I do have a hearing problem which makes certain things more difficult (like listening to white noise). I put up with the white noise to try to drown out the sounds. I work in a very loud environment, but for some reason these noises are exceptionally distracting. I think the frequency to which they occur is the biggest problem. Edited to add, when I say yawn for example, I’m also talking about a Homer Simpson/donut noise, not a quiet little noise. It sounds like I should just bite the bullet and request a move.

        • Susie

          Hey I hear you. I would find this supremely annoying, and consider the person a disgusting slob. Like the loud eater I used to sit next to. Sorry. I don’t have any rational adult solutions, I would probably silently glare at this person every time she does it. Sure everyone makes noises, but not all the time and not super loud, this is not normal or appropriate in the workplace!

        • Anon

          I have a similar problem and carry earplugs with me wherever I go. Usually between those and something like your fan, I have better luck concentrating. I found that noise cancelling headphones aren’t so great because they block more consistent background noises, not the sporadic noises/ those that come at intervals or are particularly loud that I’m distracted by. I struggle with these situations too, because usually it’s not socially acceptable to ask someone to stop doing what I’m annoyed by (chewing with mouth open, burping, etc). I’m not sure what to tell you about whether to say anything, but the earplugs are golden.

    • rosie

      What if it’s a health issue? I wouldn’t say anything. I would try to calm down about it (she’s not doing it specifically to annoy you, although I know it might feel like it), and ask to be moved if there’s a spot open. Do you need to give a reason to move? If so, just try to make it related to the new location, like AIMS said.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I’m in moderation but thoughts are on the way. I think I used a new forbidden word but then edited to take it out but that didn’t resolve the issue. Hmmm.

  10. Lyra Silvertongue

    DH and I are headed out to San Diego for a friend’s wedding this weekend. Due to some pretty awful family emergencies, I haven’t been my normal planning-nut self who makes up an overly detailed itinerary. So what are your must-dos in SD? We’re pretty open in terms of activities, be they outdoorsy or more cultural. Also would love dining and shopping recs. We have 2.5 free days (Saturday AM, Sunday, and Monday). TIA!

    • Anon

      Go to the beach or hang out at the Del Coronado. There’s not much cultural there and shopping is the same as any other city.

      • Anonymous

        I would also visit the zoo or safari park if you have time, and their baseball stadium is comfortable and cheap (compared to Fenway).

      • AnonLawMom

        Wow Anon- That’s a bit rough on San Diego. Try old town SD for a sort of unusual experience. I also highly recommend grabbing a fish sandwich at Point Loma Seafoods for lunch one day. They are simple but amazing. I have driven several hours to get one when I had a craving. You can drive down point loma to see some interesting military spaces as well and beautiful views. Check out the area by the zoo – it has museums and parks that are gorgeous. The Gaslight district in downtown has lots of restaurants, bars and shopping to walk to. You can also drive up to La Jolla coves to the beach and rent kayaks.

        • Red Beagle

          If you like that sort of thing, there’s a great naval aircraft carrier moored in the bay that you can tour. I forget its name, but it’s a fascinating way to spend a few hours. And if you’re into baseball, I second Petco Park as one of the nicest ballparks ever.

    • Basics

      If you like cultural field trips, check out the Mission San Luis Rey (north of town) and the Old Point Loma Lighthouse (on Point Loma, which also has spectacular views).

    • Of Counsel

      What part of San Diego are you going to be in? If central, I second the suggestion for the Zoo. You can also spend some time walking around Balboa Park (which is where the Zoo is located). The Safari Park is very nice, but a bit hot this time of year and a drive from the city itself. If you go to the Zoo, try to get there early. If you go there and are looking for lunch, the Prado Restaurant is a go to for tourists (they serve dinner too but I think it is a wee bit overpriced). Try to make a reservation and get a table on the patio.

      If there is no fog, the beach in front of the Hotel Del Coronado (and the hotel itself) is really beautiful but likely to be crowded. If you are looking for something active, renting bikes at the Ferry Landing and riding around Coronado is a blast. If you are going to be in North County, try one of the beaches up there. Just watch out for traffic on the 5 around Del Mar because it is racing season (another option if you like horse racing).

      Finally, the downtown waterfront is nice – the USS Midway and the Maritime Museum and the ferry ride to Coronado is a fun way to spend some time and can be combined with the Coronado activities. There are some nice places to eat at the Ferry Landing.

    • SD Girl

      Here are some of my food recommendations: Phil’s BBQ is a great place for ribs; afterwards grab dessert at Extraordinary Dessert; Jake’s for a nice ocean view dining experience; and Oceanaire in downtown if you are craving seafood.

  11. BB

    Yay! Just snagged 2 The Skirts: magenta and camel. :) They have a lot of basic colors on sale.

    • BB

      Also, I did this on my phone. Maybe the mobile interface (on Chrome, not the app) works better? I got a confirmation email and everything immediately.

      • Computer security nerd

        PSA, unless you’re using password-protected wifi in your house (or somewhere else private, not coffeeshop wifi where the password is next to the cash register), please think carefully about buying things using a mobile device. It is SO EASY for criminals to intercept your password and/or credit card numbers over public wifi and mobile networks, even with encryption. I cringe every time I see advertisements for mobile banking apps.

        • Anon

          Unless a weak/outdated version of SSL is in use or there’s some kind of man-in-the-middle situation, how is it so easy for someone to intercept your password or credit card numbers transmitted over public wifi? Am I missing something?

        • Lily-Student

          My mobile banking app doesn’t require a password or any credit card numbers… it takes a few numbers out of my passcode, in a different order than they’re in in the passcode. And it doesn’t let you send payments to anyone new – just has the details of people you’ve already paid from those accounts.

        • Computer security nerd

          Without getting too techie, on public wifi, anyone with the right tools – many of which are free and easy to use (Wireshark, for example) – can see anything anyone on the same network is doing. More easy-to-use tools (Firesheep, for example) can let people can steal the cookie for your session and basically hijack it, so they have full access to the account you’re looking at. This can happen with facebook and some webmail providers. Also, you have no way of knowing whether the network itself is configured correctly and safe. If it’s not, SSL won’t help you.

          So basically, SSL is better than nothing and 3G/4G networks are pretty safe. But I would never do anything private, and especially anything involving money over public wifi. I keep it turned off on my mobile devices.

          • Anon

            I’m sorry, but that’s not true. You cannot see the body of messages transmitted over HTTPS – check it out with Wireshark and see for yourself. Firesheep also only works over HTTP, not HTTPS. Perhaps in the past some sites would forget to check the “Secure” flag on the cookie, but any PCI-compliant site will, and any large bank most definitely will. Maybe it worked four years ago on Facebook, but not today. I’m also not sure why you think you’ll be able to sniff traffic on a cellular network – have you ever tried it?

            You can actually know if SSL is configured correctly – check that the certificate is valid (a secure mobile app will not work if the certificate is invalid) and you can also check the version.

            If you think you can crack *any* version of SSL, you should publish a paper on it. Lots of people would love to see that.

  12. Any barre-curious NYC ladies?

    We’ve talked a lot about barre classes on here, and I am a huge fan of Physique 57 even though I don’t live in one of their studio cities and try to visit a few times a year just to take classes. Because of that, I’m on their mailing list and just got an e-mail where I can sign up friends for a free Beginner class in July at one of the NYC studios–I thought some ladies here might be interested. Typically the new class offer is a BOGO, so this would allow you to try without having to pay the initial $35, or feel like you need to go to a second class to get the BOGO value if you hate it.

    Anyone? E-mail me at dallas c o r p o r e t t e meetup [at] gmail if so. There’s a list of two class time options per studio (generally, one next weekend and one the following weekend). I won’t make this post any longer by copying it but can send you via e-mail.

    Full disclosure, I get nothing for signing you up for the free class. If you like it and decide to then purchase classes, they do credit me with one free class. If you hate it or are just looking for a free class with no intention of paying for more even if you love it, I’m happy you at least got to try it!

      • Any barre-curious NYC ladies?

        I go to the core fusion classes at Exhale right now. It’s <5mins from my house and they have a pretty good selection of 6am and 7pm classes, plus weekends. I wish they wouldn't be so stingy with the A/C because lately it's started to feel like they're trying to start a "hot barre" trend, and I prefer to sweat from the workout and not the room temp (plus the humidity makes me feel zapped and I don't push as hard), but otherwise I really like the classes themselves. There are a few different class type options, some with more of a cardio or boot camp flavor, but even with the classic barre the choreography and specific exercises are different each class, and they give you so many options that even after several years I am still challenged. Let's see, what else–the studio has wood floors so there's no gross laying in someone else's hair in the carpet, the class times I go to have a good amount of professionals of all ages vs. just SMU students (Pure Barre), and I can always just walk in without reserving a spot in advance. That last part isn't to say classes are often empty, I think it's more just that the studio has a walk-in culture and the instructors have the improv skills to adjust their planned routine to something just as effective if the room is packed and the original move would have people kicking each other.

        I've tried Pure Barre, which is not as close but not so far away that I would use that as a factor against it if I otherwise loved it, and they also have really good early/late and weekend class times. I am just not a fan at all of their classes though. This was discussed a few weeks ago if you want to search for my longer-than-this comment (unfortunately probably under an Anon handle because I always forget to type something in after my cookies are auto-cleared) but in short: the arm and ab workout doesn't change for a month which is mentally boring to me and doesn't feel like a good workout, the pace is slow and doesn't really work up a sweat, it started to seem easy after a few weeks, the room is way too packed (claustrophobe here), and it's very difficult to get into a class unless you book at least a month in advance or are willing to sit on waitlists and be ready to drop everything and drive up there at the last second if you get in.

        I haven't tried Bar Method's location here, but I did a class on vacation elsewhere and really enjoyed the focus on form, instructor attention, and challenge of it. When I looked at it a few years ago, the class schedule seemed to be more geared toward those who have time to go during the day, with limited late evening and Saturday classes, and zero Sunday classes. I haven't checked to see if that's changed, but that's easy for you to look up. If it's improved and that location is more convenient for you, I'd say it's totally worth a shot.

        The other ones I can think of in the downtown to Preston Hollow corridor that I haven't tried: (a) Body Bar–that one is actually the most convenient for me location-wise, but they have really few barre classes (it's mostly pilates), hardly any classes outside of traditional working hours, and it's a little out of my budget; (b) Barre Bee Fit–it opened after I committed to an Exhale membership but it looks interesting enough to try so I might the next time they do a groupon, and (c) I'll lump together PilatesBarre and BEYOND–I'm personally not super interested in the Pilates component, and these two don't really have enough barre-focused classes on the schedule for me to justify a membership.

        /end novel

  13. Pest

    What is everyone getting at the NAS sale? I’m pregnant and they have no maternity clothes in the sale so I bought some makeup goodies and a couple of sweaters. I am a little unimpressed with the shoes and accessories on sale this year.

    • Orangerie

      Pretty unimpressed with the entire selection. I ordered some Nike workout pants that never go on sale and a couple of jeans to try on. I think the half-yearly sales are usually better, to be honest.

  14. MJ

    PSA – Talbots is having a huge sale on summer dresses. If you need something for work, a shower or a wedding, head over there for some great deals. Even though some of their stuff is matronly, a lot of it can be preppy-cute!

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