Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Canal Top
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I’m not sure why, but I can’t seem to get enough of all of these tops with the built-in scarves. Is it my way of compensating for the fact that I love the look of a scarf but am always too nervous to add one to an outfit myself? Probably.
This merino wool number from Staud would be gorgeous paired with a midi skirt for an office where bare arms fly. If not, I would save this for the weekend with a pair of great denim.
The sweater is $325 full price at Shopbop — with 15% off at checkout — and comes in sizes XS-XL.
Sales of note for 9/26/25
- Nordstrom – 7400+ new markdowns! Also: 6x points on beauty.
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale, plus $20 style steals
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – Sale now up to 50% off PLUS an extra 10% off
- J.Crew – Extra 30% off sale styles, plus up to 50% off layers they love
- J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything + extra 20% off $125+
- Nordstrom Rack – UGG up to 40% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance sales
- Soma – 6 panties for $36 — readers love these no-VPL panties (and these PJs)
- Talbots – 40% off one item, plus 30% off everything else
- White House Black Market – 30% off all full-price dresses, and $50 off $200+ purchase
For those of you who were working adults when you took the GRE, how did you go about preparing for it? Life circumstances seem to limit me to doing anything online but do I need something like a Kaplan class? I get how tests like the GMAT and MCAT are often different from the day jobs of many but GRE seems different from them (but still high stakes). I did well in the SAT but that was a long time ago.
I got a book and studied an hour or so a day. I didn’t do great and ended up applying to a school that didn’t require it to limit my stress levels.
A lot of it is test taking skills. If you did well on the SAT you probably have those skills and might just need a book to review the vocab etc.
Since you did well on the SAT, i would take a practice exam and see how much time you really need to prep for your goals and the schools you intend to apply to. It’s possible that you’ll be fine without a lot of prep. As with everything depends on you. If you’re self motivated there are a myriad of books and online resources. Otherwise classes or tutors who would work around your schedule. My personal recommendation would be to mentally commit to when you want to take the test (say the spring) and then every week set yourself a goal. But the first week’s goal IMO would be to just take a test. Some of the test programs let you take one under testing conditions which i recommend, doing it at home untimed is not the same thing.
It’s really individual. I did well on the SAT and taught SAT prep, and a few practice GREs were enough for me.
I taught for Kaplan and honestly didn’t think their curriculum was that good or efficient. If you are already good at taking standardized tests, you don’t need the very basic advice like “eliminate wrong answers first.” Focus on working actual test questions and then reading explanations for any you miss.
Prioritize practice tests and vocab cards over concept review. I liked Magoosh.
Former Kaplan teacher/tutor here:
First step is to take a practice test and compare your score against what you need for the schools you are targeting.
If there is a big difference and you can throw money at the problem, hire a tutor. Back in the day, I used to meet with working adults at 8 pm if that’s what they needed.
Not me, but husband. He bought one of the prep book, did a few prep tests and studied components he was weak on. He is also one of the people that historically tests well.
I checked out a gre workbook from the library.
This is what I did but to the OP — test taking has changed! Make sure you prepare how you’re going to take the test. Is it online-only? Are there test centers? Can you use one? If you have to / want to take it at home – are you used to the 360-degree camera watching you take an exam? These are things to prepare for, for real, as they will affect your score! I took the GRE many moons ago and I can’t even recall if it was on a computer. Good luck to the OP!
I did a practice course but honestly it had been so long since I took high school math that it didn’t really improve my score a lot. All of the studying and practice just made my already high verbal score higher which was good for my overall score. If I needed to take it now, I would probably just ask ChatGPT or something to help me plan out basic math studying.
I gave myself two weeks. I just decided to study every evening for two weeks, take the exam, and then be done with it. I bought a bunch of candy as an incentive and just parked it each night to study and eat candy. Worked really well.
How good do you need your scores to be? I took the SATs once and got a 1380 which qualified me for the scholarship I wanted. I took the GREs like 9 years later, cold, and got a 320 which was fine for the program I wanted.
If I had needed to, doing test prep surely would have raised those by 10-30 points.
Has anyone here used a wardrobe app to help plan outfits? Or have tips for pulling together stylish combinations from existing pieces?
My closet is reasonably stocked with classic pieces in colors and fabrics that flatter my skin tone, coordinate with each other, and fit me. I struggle with pairing them in ways that look fresh and current rather than stodgy. Over the weekend I saw a woman wearing an outfit combo that I thought looked great, then realized I have pieces in my closet and could replicate that look for myself. I’m wearing my riff today. It feels great, and I would love to cultivate my fashion sense so I can do this more often.
I haven’t used an app to do this, but have done what you did: deliberate people watching. When I see someone and think, “I want to look like that,” I try to break down what she’s wearing that makes me think that — is it a set of colors? Shapes? Specific items? Or, I’ll do this by deliberately looking at a couple of retailers whose look I like and checking out their current lookbook. It’s a way of training my eye.
The other thing that helps me is counter-intuitive to me: keeping my closet relatively empty. I tend to have a “wearing right now” rack front and center. It’s usually for the 6-7 weeks of the current weather we’re having. Fewer items on my “wearing right now” rack lets me see them in new ways and make combinations. If lots of items are crowded together in a mass, I can’t see what’s there.
That’s a great idea.
Screenshot looks you like and save them to a folder. It will grow over time and browse it before you get dressed. Toss in mirror selfies when you hit on a look you really like too.
You can use chatgpt for this! My prompt this morning: “I want to wear a leopard midi dress – pls suggest top, shoes, and accessories” It gave me three options, and I am wearing a beautiful outfit I would never have dreamed up myself, straight from my own closet.
I take pics of my outfits, and upload them into the chat and it also keeps a “log” for me. I have a chat for bus casual, for conferences, etc.
What a cool idea! Curious – do you have a paid subscription to chatgpt? Or just use the free version?
I pay for it; I use it for a lot of other things too. I don’t think you’d need the paid version for this though. You maybe need to be okay with uploading pictures of yourself to the internet? That doesn’t really bother me, but I could see others taking some exception? You can turn off training mode.
Even simpler, you can just do a regular online search for “styling ideas for leopard mini dress.” These days I often add the current year so I get more current results.
I posted a similar question a few months ago and several people recommended Indyx. I haven’t tried it yet, though.
Did anyone go to the Boden sample sale in Alexandria on Saturday? How was it? Thanks!
I went! I also went 2 years ago. It was ok, worse than 2 years ago. People line up early, but I don’t think that makes much of a difference. There was a longggg line (over an hour) to check out this year which was unpleasant. I think if you were under a size 10 you would have better luck than I did. I felt like it was more ‘leftover stuff people didn’t want’ and less ‘search for a deal’ than previously. But I also think Boden’s had a rough time style-wise the past 2 years so maybe that drove it.
I think I’ll skip next year – I have better luck shopping regular boden sales and on Poshmark. But it’s a fun adventure if you’re interested.
My husband and I are considering getting a dog. While we have some “wishes” at the start (on the smaller side, good with kids), we have no idea where to begin to decide what dog is right for us. We have never owned a dog before! What do we need to know going in? How do we go about determining which dogs to consider? How do we find that dog? We are excited but very overwhelmed. We just want to be sure we know what we are getting into and that its the right fit for our family and for the dog. TIA!
Go to your local shelter or adoption fair.
These are the two worst places to get a dog.
I’ve adopted 2 dogs from shelters and they have been perfect of my family and so gentle with the kids. Many shelter dogs are in foster care and you can find out a lot about their personalities. In-bred dogs from breeders are no less likely to injure. Many breeders are irresponsible, treat their dogs terribly, and do not socialize them.
Where do the majority of shelter dogs come from if not from irresponsible breeders?
just don’t let yourself be guilted into getting any kind of pitbull or pit mix from the shelter when you have kids. The risk isn’t worth it. Otherwise, I’d pick up a book of dog breeds from the library and started researching regional rescues (not always an option but can be a great one).
Not true. I’ve seen plenty of pitty mixes from shelters that are incredibly good & gentle with children.
Pitties can for sure be great with kids! But if you don’t know a dog’s history at all, one thing you can still know is what kinds of dog are physically equipped to straight up kill someone the first time they show aggression, and what kinds of dogs may have been bred with no regard to good temperament, as well as what kinds of dogs may have been mistreated in prior living situations. Shelters aren’t full of these dogs because everything is going okay.
That’s any dog. They are animals who can act unpredictable for many reasons.
Regardless of breed (and don’t discount every blocky headed mutton because someone defaulted to “pitbull”), look at dogs who have been fostered, ideally in a household as similar to your own as possible.
It’s only sensible to acknowledge breed differences. Somebody who is really hoping for a Lassie should probably not get a Siberian Husky or a Jack Russell Terrier. It’s totally okay to try to avoid terriers and terrier mixes, same as it’s okay to try to avoid hounds.
It’s also okay especially for a first time dog owner to try to avoid irresponsibly bred dogs.
It’s intellectually dishonest to pretend like pit bulls aren’t responsible for a massive share of the dog maulings that vastly outstrips their share of the dog population. I won’t let them around my kid period.
Nah, not worth it. I’ve personally known four people, including one two-year-old, that have had their arms and faces surgically repaired after a “super sweet and friendly” pit bull tore into them.
Yeah one way for a dog to appear sweet and friendly is if they never signal that they’re about to attack. Dogs that broadcast anxiety, fear, aggression, hostility are dogs that are giving you a chance to do something about it (like avert an attack).
This is such an ignorant statement.
I would adopt a dog from a rescue that houses them in foster homes, rather than from a shelter. The foster family will know the dog’s temperament, strengths, and weaknesses. A shelter will do anything it can to get the dog out the door.
Avoid hound mixes. They are the worst pets. Also avoid working breeds unless you plan to give the dog a “job” to prevent boredom.
For a first dog, I’d adopt an adult dog between 2 and 6 years old. It will be through the most challenging puppy and adolescent stages.
+1 please look for a rescue in a reputable organization.
I would even say 3-6 years old. The energy levels of a young dog can be pretty hard to deal with. Depending on where you live, I’d stay away from breeds that are inclined to be vocal (because you probably don’t want to deal with a barking dog in, say, a townhouse).
Agreed to all of this. I adopted two beagles several years apart from each other, from a rescue who was able to tell me about how they did in homes. Both of my girls were 5 when I adopted them, and while they had some quirks (nervous nellies, not a huge fan of events like the farm market, but loved walks), they were a great fit for me and my lifestyle at the time. Both of them being older was a huge relief – they were still energetic but not wild puppies, and they had settled into their temperments so I was more confident about what I was getting.
I lived in an area where a big beagle voice wasn’t a huge issue, but since both dogs had been fostered in home prior to me, I knew that they were on the quieter side for the breed.
Volunteer to walk dogs/socialize at your local shelter. It’ll give you a taste of the different breeds and temperaments, enough to start figuring out what you like and don’t like.
And contrary to the above advice, don’t feel you have to adopt a rescue or shelter dog. It’s a fool’s errand anyways, as most rescue groups won’t place a dog with people who have never had one before and have small children.
do you know for sure that no one in your household is allergic or sensitive to dogs? personally i’d only ever get a hypoallergenic dog bc i dont like having dog hair everywhere
+1.
Low shedding is different from low dander though it can overlap.
Sometimes people with allergies fixate on what they can see (the hair) even if it’s not what they’re reacting to.
This is really exciting for the family, but don’t rush it. Don’t go to an adoption fair at the local pet smart because I guarantee you will come home with a dog you don’t know enough about (ask me how i know). Agree with the poster that says to adopt from an agency that houses the dog with a foster, preferably one with kids around. Knowing how the dog will react to unpredictable kids is crucial to the success of this arrangement. Be patient about waiting for one that is predominantly a breed that is known to be good with families and kids. It doesn’t guarantee success but it really ups the odds. And good luck! Having a loving dog in the home is so great for everyone!
Do what’s right for you. You ask in any forum and you get a billion adopt not shop responses. That can be great but it can also be really tough for a first time dog owner. Rescue dogs need extra attention on average and can be tough. You also know less about the breed, and it’s hard to get one if you haven’t had a dog before. We have had rescues and I love them. But we also have gone to a breeder when our needs changed. And I refuse to take hell from anyone about that.
I was going to comment the same thing. Don’t let people guilt you into adopting a rescue if you’re a first-time dog owner. Every rescue I know has come with some significant behavioral or health challenges that would be difficult for a new dog owner or parent with young kids to address. I would identify a few breeds you’re interested in and contact small, reputable breeders who might have a young adult of that breed available. There are some good breed finders online that will help you identify a breed that meets your criteria. Very small dogs can be challenging, so maybe focus on medium-sized dogs in the 30-50 pound range for a good balance of size and athleticism. I don’t want to recommend specific breeds because someone will criticize every one of them, but my favorite medium-sized dogs have been an Australian shepherd (don’t believe the hype; ours is mellow, great with kids and very smart) and a springer spaniel mix, and I secretly covet an Icelandic shepherd. P.s.I know a lot of doodles with behavioral issues, probably due to their being over-bred.
But also don’t overestimate how much work puppies are and how directly your consistency and efforts with them will correlate to behavior as they grow into adults. If you rescue an adult dog that the foster knows well, personally I view this as a lot lower risk and easier for a first time dog owner, provided that the input from the foster family checks out.
I agree that puppies are not for first-time dog owners. In addition to the challenges of raising and training a puppy, you have to deal with the fact that you really have no idea what its temperament is going to be when it grows up. With an adult dog that’s lived in a foster home, you know exactly what you are getting. I am an experienced dog owner who has raised puppies, but I still prefer to adopt from a breed rescue for this reason.
+1M.
Every pure bread I know has had significantly higher medical costs over their lifetime than the rescues I know.
The majority of pure bred dogs are from puppymills and are disastrously inbred, so that’s no surprise. But a well bred dog can still be healthier than a dog who got randomly knocked up by chance.
The worst dog we ever had was a puppy. The two best dogs we have ever had were adult rescue Golden Retrievers.
This! Of course individual behavior varies but breeds have their reputation for a reason. I know too many people who rescued a dog and its behavioral issues took over their life. It’s okay to buy a puppy from a reputable breeder. It’s better than committing to a high maintenance dog you’re unequipped to care for.
For a first time owner I recommend a dog that can’t reach the counter and is light enough that you can carry it across a room. Big dogs require consistent, never ending discipline from the whole family. I agree with the other commenter to avoid high energy or working breeds.
Agree ALTHOUGH! We just got a dog, from a rescue. We were open to buying. Puppies are HARD. We got a 13 month old shelter dog that is amazing. He looks like a chocolate lab but is for sure not one. He came from a foster home and was housebroken and extremely gentle with kids.
Our next door neighbors got a golden puppy and he has been a hellion for 9 months.
I am going to be super honest – with young children I would never adopt an adult dog unless I knew its history and it had been fostered with a family with kids. But then I got bit in the face as a child by a “super sweet” rescue my parents were dog-sitting, and I am paranoid. When I had a four-year-old, I purchased (at a big discount) a pure-bred dog whose parents and grandparents I knew and whose breeder raised them at home with her kids. He had flunked out of the dog show world when one of his testicles did not descend and was the absolute perfect dog for the next 14 years. I knew what breed I wanted and just attended a few shows and put the word out that I was in the market but did not want a puppy. Now that my kids are grown and out of the house, I would be willing to adopt, although I currently have two pure bred dogs that are related to my first one (similar story – my breeder sold them to someone who had to surrender them due to health issues, so she asked if I was interested).
A lot will depend on how old the children in question are. Small kids and very small dogs tend to be a bad mix. Also, exercise and space play a big role in what kind of dog is appropriate for you. The AKC has an on-line quiz that will help. Even if you do not want a pure-bred dog, the quiz will help identify types of dogs you should be looking at. And if you do decide that you want a pure-bred, pay close attention to the recommended health screenings and do not fall in love with a dog that has not had them or whose parent did not have them – that is a direct route to tens of thousands in vet bills.
Also, if you decide to go the rescue route, be prepared for a lot of rejection. I talked to several at different points in my life and they all rejected me because I have a full-time job despite having a yard and an excellent history with pets.
If you do decide to get a puppy from a breeder, try to find one who does temperament testing on the puppies. I purchased a puppy who was one of nine apparently identical puppies. But I attended the testing and there was a huge difference between them.
When they finished with the only girl in the litter (that I had had my eye on), I turned to the breeder and said “not her” and my breeder responded with “I would not sell her to you; that puppy is going to a family with no kids.”
But then her contract specified that if you had to give up one of her dogs at any time, you had to call her first (and if it was because of a health of temperament issue she would give you your money back), so she had a lot of incentive to match the right puppy to the right home.
Look at small poodle mixes, cocapoo, maltipoo, shipoo, etc. they’re all generally great with kids, small and less shedding.
When I was a kid in 4H dog training class, not one of the poodles or doodles in the group cared a whit about pleasing humans, so none of them was trainable. For trainability you want a dog that is highly motivated to please humans.
Or a different approach to training? They always say you can’t train cats or donkeys with the approaches used for horses and dogs. I think that also goes for “some dogs” vs. “other dogs.”
It sounds like you have the right priorities in place! In theory as a first time owner, I’d be more comfortable adopting a fostered adult dog from a rescue than buying a puppy I have to train myself, but some breeds aren’t realistically going to be available through rescue.
Here are two guides from the Whole Dog Journal. They’re a little intimidating because it can be buyer beware, but it’s just a matter of finding the good people.
https://www.whole-dog-journal.com/lifestyle/finding-the-best-animal-shelters/
https://www.whole-dog-journal.com/lifestyle/a-field-guide-to-ethical-breeders/
There is no such thing as an ethical breeder. Animals are living breathing beings. Commodification of life is gross. Go to your local shelter and meet all the doggos, pet them, walk them and one will speak to you.
The dogs at the local shelter weren’t ethically bred either.
Somebody has to take responsibility for the future of dogs, and it probably shouldn’t be backyard breeders.
Backyard breeders or puppy mills!
Sample size of 1, but we got our dog from a foster-based rescue. Our neighbor fostered his sister and was friends with a person nearby who fostered our dog. That was invaluable in that we could talk to people who had been living with him with a similar family and house set up and learn a lot about him as we decided. It was my first dog and I felt a lot more comfortable having a chance to meet the dog and his foster family prior to applying to adopt. My seasoned dog friends just go to the pound but for a first time, find a set-up that lets you date a bit before you get married, so to speak.
Find a rescue that you can foster first. We have kids and it was the best thing. We did 2 fosters that moved on and our 3rd was a keeper.
Talk to the rescue and I’m sure they will tell you while they prefer to adopt directly they love foster failures!
Hi! My family was where you are a couple years ago. We adopted an incredibly sweet mutt rescued from a bad situation in the south, and she’s been the best thing for our family. Neither my husband or I grew up with dogs, so it was a big jump and worked well for us, but here’s some things I learned from our experience and friends’ experience:
– Do not assume anyone but the adults in your house will do any of the work around the dog. If your partner is not already someone who contributes heavily to the household, don’t think that they’ll step up for the dog. Similarly, if you have trouble with gatekeeping household stuff, recognize that may apply to dog.
– Meet some dogs. Think about what behaviors you can/cannot tolerate. If your dog ended up having accidents in the house regularly, being poorly socialized and not able to meet other dogs, or being jumpy/mouth/etc. – how would you handle? The answer may be “train it out of them” – but dogs are like people and sometimes it’s personality/temperament and you just have to live with it.
– There is no shortcut to finding a dog that fits you and your family. I’ve know dogs who were born in a foster home and never lived on the mean streets who have behavioral issues as well as breeder dogs with the same problems. My super sweet dog had a very troubled first year of her life, but is remarkably well behaved, well trained despite only having been in foster for a few weeks, and sweet. We were super lucky she was nearly perfect out of the box – but most dogs are not.
– I truly believe in rescue. I have found that coming out of a foster situation versus shelter, you have a better idea of personality when you get the dog (although that can change over time). Not everyone can rescue, but it’s worth a shot (and buying from a breeder isn’t a guarantee of a perfect dog either).
– There are goods and bads with different breeds. Everyone wants a hypo dog, but most of those are poodle and you end up with a very intelligent dog who needs a lot of stimulation or will get themselves in trouble. Pitbull mixes can be sweet lazy house hippos who just want to cuddle with their people and recharge in the sun. Know your household and think about what level of energy you can handle. My sweet dog is a pitbull/shepherd/everything else mix.
– Most dogs you either need to groom regularly or be OK with shedding – sometimes both! We picked shedding and just lint roll and vacuum more, but have never had to make a grooming appt. As noted elsewhere, a designer dog doesn’t mean it won’t cause allergic reactions.
– Build your village for your dog BEFORE you adopt. Talk to neighbors about what vets, doggy daycare, boarding services, groomer, etc. they use. Consider what happens when you or spouse is out of town. We have changed how we vacation so that we do more driveable locations and book lodging that is pet friendly — not always, but sometimes.
– The same way that I knew having a nanny versus a strict daycare pickup was needed by my family, we have budgeted for and use doggy daycare a couple times a week to allow our dog to get some energy out (and turn her into a sleepy little potato the next day).
Good luck! You didn’t say how old your kids are, but we adopted when both my kids were tween/teen – and I recommend it to my friends at this age too, as it’s nice as the human kids get more independent.
I’m sorry, I probably sound super smug. But honestly I think we got really really lucky with our dog, and I feel bad that many of our friends have really struggled with their dogs. Sorry also for the novel.
I agree with all of this and don’t think it’s smug at all. Just realistic.
Suggest going to a few off leash trails or dog parks and hang out for a while (but please don’t take your kids if they do not know how to behave around strange dogs). Talk to owners there and dog walkers. Also, go talk to the vet office you will likely use and have a chat about breeds.
I adopted a puppy my first dog (a multi generational doodle). He is almost 7 and I love him so much. He brings so much joy to so many people.
And I didn’t always love him as much as I do now. The puppy years were rough and he was more nervous than I appreciated at the beginning (I had nothing to compare to). I was too nervous to adopt a rescue as my first dog, but it definitely might have been easier. Also, dogs are expensive to make sure you have thought that through. I have pet insurance for him because I never want to make a decision about his health based on money, but it’s pricey.
This is awesome and dogs are the best! I’m involved with three rescues – two are hunting breed specific, one is our local small rescue (not the pound/shelter). We’ve had a dozen or so fosters over the last few years. So I agree with the advice on finding a rescue with a foster program. I have the dog for a least two months, getting vetting taken care of, getting it socialized and learning its personality and getting it started on behavior corrections or basic training. A fostered dog is the way to go – all the mysteries have been ironed out. The rescue will be able to give your family options that would be a good fit and they tend to be supportive in the initial phases. Highly recommend small local rescue with fosters.
Raising a different area to consider. Think about your schedules and what will happen to the dog when you are not home. Do you travel often? Can you take a dog with you? Is there a dog daycare near you or dog walkers? Do you have a fenced in yard? There is a significant cost in raising a dog beyond vet bills and food.
very exciting! for reference I’ve adopted a dog from a shelter, one from a rescue, and have fostered with a different rescue.
before you look for a dog, figure out how they’ll fit into your life. Do you WFH or in an office? Do you need a dog that’s okay home alone for 8 hours, are you okay with getting a consistent walker or daycare? (age of dog) do you have shared walls or a fenced in yard? (stay away from barky breeds like hounds if shared walls). What kind of grooming do you want to commit to? (doodles are popular for lack of shedding but they NEED to be frequently groomed)
I absolutely adored my shelter dog but I would not recommend for people with no dog experience. The shelter is so stressful that it is really hard to know what the dog’s actual personality is going to be. I would recommend looking for a foster-based rescue, meaning the dogs live with a family while in rescue. They will know so much more about the dogs’ needs, personality, etc. Most rescues in my area will have events where a bunch of adoptable dogs are available to meet. This would be a great way for you guys to get a sense of what type of pup is right for you. Depending on your region, be aware that certain types of dogs will be a lot more competitive. Eg if a young doodle mix or daschund is available, there’s a line of people waiting to adopt them, vs like an adult pit.
People have very strong opinions on pits/bully breeds, personally, I would not recommend one for a family with kids and no dog experience. They should go to experienced owners.
Look for training or books on how to teach kids good behavior with dogs. If you end up with a chihuahua, they need to be treated with the same respect as a lab. etc.
Hello! Are there any PAs here (Physician Assistants)? I am looking at this seriously as I am going through prerequisites and getting my EMT training. It would be a second career for me. My friends who are doctors all say “be a mid-level provider” but love what they do otherwise. I’m coming in backwards, after a long office job career, after a weekend kid hobby escalated into needing to have a lot of wilderness medical preparedness for adults (and it’s so fascinating and I have absolutely loved it). Open to getting my ducks in a row so that in 2ish years I will be ready to apply and try (and if it’s not meant to be, I’m not going to wonder why I didn’t pursue it).
i am not, but know some who are. it can be a great field. you might also consider becoming an NP. what a PA and/or NP can do depends somewhat on your state regulations.
In my state, you can’t be a NP without having a BSN first, so potentially a lot more schooling. IIRC people used to be able to get a masters in nursing to be a NP without being a nurse first but that was a WHILE ago (and maybe state specific?).
How old are you and are you wealthy?
Do you have kids and can throw a lot of money at an issue?
I honestly think the equation really changes if you are independently wealthy. Med school is really expensive and school/residency takes a long time.
My husband is a second career CRNA and it’s a fantastic career if that’s not on your radar yet. Makes $250 an hour FWIW.
PA school is only two years. Becoming a PA is more like becoming a CRNA vs becoming a doctor. But I agree that PA and CRNA and NP are all good options.
In general, PA school will better prepare you for caring for patients than NP school. Many states allow independent practice (providing care with no MD/DO oversight) for NP’s.
I wanted to let anyone looking for a suit with a single-breasted jacket and pants that’s in the wool family know that I got a great suit at BR recently. The pants (I got two — the cropped and the full-length, different models) aren’t lined but weren’t itchy, a combo I almost never find. The jacket is a bit short (but not cropped) and single-button. I prefer two buttons but just needed a basic wool suit in my current size. I tried BRF first and somehow those models were snug across the seat, but the BR pants fit perfectly in my usual size. I got a petite jacket, which I really appreciate as an option.
I got a navy suit as I’m trying to move away from black and now I need to find a few blouses with blues (or at least not blacks) in the print. I am otherwise going with plain white blouses for the moment. Any blouse recommendations would be appreciated. Thanks!
Is this the BR Italian wool combo? How about the BRF soft touch tank in bright wine or a Brooks Brothers oxford in blue? MMLF has tops in “Petal Print,” “Soft Stripe,” “Brushed Floral,” “Floral Haze,” and “Autumn Floral” that would pair well with a navy blue suit. You can also request a Nordstrom virtual stylist to put together a style board of tops that would pair well with a navy suit (it’s free with no pressure to buy).
I’ve always liked pink or coral with navy.
It’s 2025 — is anyone still wearing pencil skirts? If so, how are you styling (including shoes)?
a part time employee who has been mostly home for the last 8 years wears them in my office. It’s still warm where I am, she wears them with a point flat and bare legs and either a button down or a jersey type top. It looks perfectly appropriate if not hyper on trend. My recollection is she wore it with black tights and boots in the winter.
Not in my office.
Yes I am. They are the only skirt that compliments my body type. Fitted top in the same color. Shoes vary by season (super casual office) clogs or flat boots with tights or dansco strap sandals.
I’ll wear them in summer time with a flowy tucked in top and Rothys/bare legs. I’m going to see how a pencil skirt/high boots/slouchy sweater combo looks this winter, that was one of my favorite easy office outfits for many years.
not now, but in winter with a slouchy sweater and slim flat knee high boots.
The youth are wearing them again. A bunch of interns in my office looked very chic in them this summer, styled with looser tops and pointed toe flats.
I only still wear them as part of formal suits, so styling is correspondingly court or formal appropriate. I couple times I will see them worn on their own, but typically more on the formal side – blouse, pumps.
I am not. I prefer looser skirts now that they’re acceptable for work casual. I just can’t with the full day thigh restriction.
Only on our junior admin staff, who seem to be about half a fashion cycle off from everyone else (which is not a judgement, just an observation. Not meaning to throw shade).
Yes–either with a silk or linen button down or a striped (Saint James style) shirt. Flats usually.
I do, they are much more flattering on me than all the midi loose skirts. I generally wear a skirt, top, and cardigan with 2 of the 3 being solid. If the items are all solid, I’ll wear a statement necklace incorporating the colors or palette.
I’m shopping for a deep purple/red blazer and these are my top 2 candidates. Thoughts? I wear mostly dresses and like how the tweed one hits higher on the hip, but I would like to be able to wear a blazer with jeans on Fridays/travel days and think the Veronica Beard one might be better for that.
https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/l-agence-kaisley-tweed-single-breasted-blazer-0400022377252.html?dwvar_0400022377252_color=DARK+PORT
https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/veronica-beard-miller-double-breasted-dickey-jacket-0400023076885.html?dwvar_0400023076885_color=DARK+CURRANT&dwvar_0400023076885_size=6
They’re both really nice – I think the Veronica Beard one is a touch more versatile. But if the tweed sings to you, get that one.
Gorgeous! I would pick VB for versatility and also practicality – flared sleeves are annoying when eating, they catch things on my desk, etc.
Oh good point. Plus I already have a few Dickey blazers and the zip-ins are surprisingly great for mixing up my look on a long trip.
They show the L’Agence one styled with jeans and I think it looks great. I’d definitely pick it because it is GORGEOUS.
The tweed one is a show stopper. It may be less versatile but you could definitely wear it with solid dresses and jeans. The double breasted may look too heavy on dresses. IMO the longer length does not work as well with dresses.
What is your “wow” dinner party menu that is much easier than it looks? Foodie friends coming to town, hosting for dinner, want to make them something that is elevated, but doesn’t take two days in the kitchen. Menu planning is normally my favorite part of entertaining, but I am lacking energy after a couple of months of non-stop action. I tend towards Mediterannean because it’s so flavorful and fairly healthy, but my mind is a blank. Help please!
P.S. I know I can get takeout but prefer this route.
My foodie friend swears by Ottolenghi’s Arak Chicken. I default to Dinner a Love Story’s Pork ragu when I am out of steam or just a classic Prime Rib dinner. I find a roast the easiest.
+1 to a roast. I’d do a reverse seared beef tenderloin, a stuffed pork loin, or a classic beef bourguignon. Green salad, crusty bread, and maybe another starchy side. Chocolate mousse is super easy to prep/do ahead.
In the roast category, a slow braised roast is super simple and delicious.
Another option for low effort is the Charlie Bird Farro salad, which always impressed. I’d pair that with a nice piece of salmon (baked, grilled or charred) in whatever flavor glaze you enjoy.
i don’t know if this is wow but do you eat lamb? get a butterflied leg of lamb, garlic and olive oil rub and grill it outside. Make a greek salad, buy or make tziki, and either pita or rice or orzo. quick an easy. could do this with chicken or fish. Generally I think grilling or slow cooking are the two options for a group so you’re not doing everything last minute.
Do you have access to a grill? We just tried the NYT Cooking recipe for spice rubbed turkey tenderloin. It was absolutely delicious (we actually had four kids eating with us who all objected to “turkey”, thinking it would be like a roast turkey, but then all asked for seconds!) and super easy to make.
Grill asparagus and serve as appetizer with sea salt and balsamic reduction. Or burrata with roasted cherry tomatoes and toasted baguette.
Roast a duck with potatoes and vegetables. Reserve the liver to make a quick pâté. Or cook gnocchi and toss with pesto, grilled vegetables & sausage, and feta.
Love NYT’s sheet pan salmon Niçoise salad! It is gorgeous, especially if served on a platter, healthy, and while it’s a lot of different things to cook, none of the things are individually difficult.
Serve with focaccia or homemade bread with olive oil.
Risotto, pork tenderloin, warm baguette with compound butter, and salad (either picked up from a restaurant or mixed greens, roasted butternut squash, sliced apples, pecans, and apple cider vinaigrette).
For the risotto you can sauté the shallots, garlic, and any vegetables in advance. You can have the risotto cooked and waiting on the stove when your guests arrive, or start it 30 minutes beforehand so you just have to stir a bit. The pork needs a quick sear in a cast iron pan then throw the whole thing in the oven (maybe 5 minutes of active cook time). Butternut squash can be roasted in advance for the salad.
Something braised, so it’s easy to make and very forgiving on timing. If you don’t mind something a little pricey, osso buco or lamb shanks with polenta and a vinaigrette salad. Pork ragu with polenta or gnocchi is another good one, since the sauce is even better if you make it the day before.
The America’s Test Kitchen “one pan pork tenderloin and panzanella salad” has been a wonderful new recipe in my collection. The dressing is beyond delicious. We consider ourselves foodies and absolutely love this. You could do all the prep ahead of time then for toss the veggies and bread with olive oil and brush the tenderloins just before throwing it in the oven on a sheet pan lined with foil. I recommend either using more baguette than they say or maybe serving with a crusty bread for dinner guests. So, so easy and so delicious. You could have a cheese tray or some dips for before-dinner drinks, buy a fancy cake or desserts from a local bakery, nice bottle of wine if you drink it and voila, instant party! Your only dishes will be the big bowl you use to mix up the veggies after roasting, a platter or two and your dinnerware!
I’ve never curled my hair before but am interested in trying. Would a curling wand be easier than a curling iron? Do they achieve the same look?
Wands are advanced, but irons are hard. Look for one of the easier tools that does a lot of the work for you. I’m partial to the tyme styler because it’s about the same size as a curling iron but works like a straightener.
I would disagree that a curling iron is hard — it’s pretty easy! Just get a $25 conair or revlon one with a normal barrel size (not too big or too small, I’d go with 1 or 1.25 in) and watch a couple online tutorials.
Irons are super easy.
Completely disagree. I’m generally expert level at styling and find irons the hardest of all tools.
I’d suggest the Chi spin and curl for a starter tool. I only ever flat ironed my wavy/curly hair and never learned how to use a curling iron. This is super easy and simple enough for the ~6x a year I want to do ‘fancy’ curls.
Honestly I’d start by trying spit curls.
(Because you don’t have to buy anything first, and it will show you how your hair holds a curl)
Does anyone have experience with either Falling Creek in North Carolina or Cheley in Colorado? Would be for an entering fourth grade boy for the first time next summer.
Thanks!
I think Cheley is great for very outdoors-oriented kids. I don’t know the hiking and backpacking experiences are first rate. Once my daughter turned 12, she opted for Trail’s End and liked that even more. Caveat that there is a Christian service associated with the camp, so look into that if it is relevant to you. Historically, the camp really shut down the use of electronics, and I felt that enforced pause was very important. The camp is surrounded by such beauty!
Amazing – thank you! Can I ask you another question? Were boys and girls together often or pretty separate? DS has three sisters so really interested in time away with boys…
The girls and boys are pretty separate except for special events like talent show or all camp camp fire.
thanks!
Need advice, my 11 year old has been a travel soccer player for 3 years, 1 year of rec before that. She has decided that she no longer wants to be a travel soccer player because she doesn’t plan on playing at such a competitive level in the long term. She still enjoys playing but has no interest in practicing skills outside of the 3 required practices a week, nor does she intend to compete for a sports scholarship for college (that was never the plan).
I think all of this is very reasonable. My daughter has come to this realization at the beginning of this season and I would like her to honor her commitment to the team for the rest of the year, but boy it is going to be a long year! I might consider her rolling off after the fall season, but I’m not sure. Another thing I’m struggling with is, soccer has been a huge part of her life. It has giver her a physical activity, daily structure, friends, confidence – I’m afraid that the wheels will just fall off when she leaves. For those who have been through this themselves or with your kids, what worked? Take time to explore new activities? Take time off? I would love to hear it all! Thank you
I think it’s unreasonable to make her keep the commitment to the entire year. End of season is adequate.
As for your other questions: you find a different, more low key sport for her.
Yeah, a whole year? That seems like a waste of her time, and it would even be early enough to quit that another player may be able to join.
Why not just go back to a rec league? I coach 13 year old girls rec soccer and they do not practice outside of our scheduled practice, and as far as I can tell, just have fun, and put it aside when it’s done.
I would let her drop at the end of the fall season even if you have to eat the cost. Notify coach/org in last quarter of the season and/or before they start making winter rosters (if they switch anything around).
I would make sure you’re informing her of the steps you’re taking and get her buy in – e.g., “I’m going to send an email to Coach Ted that you want to take a break for the winter and don’t know when you’ll be back tomorrow. Are you good with that?”
It’s tough but also this seems like a natural part of growing up – speaking as a mom of a 12.5 and 15 year old.
Agreed. I would also encourage / help her find another activity to replace the soccer.
Yes, I’d absolutely require a new activity in its place
I have a 6th grade girl who is very sporty but never loved one sport so much she went club. Most of our rec sports have a travel element so she’s just done that.
She is busy, it’s just not all one thing. This season she’s doing a volleyball clinic (in town), fall softball (one practice and one local travel game), field hockey ( 2 practices and a local travel game). She also does our town swim team so is doing a once/week swim lesson with a swim team friend before the season starts.
This winter she’ll play basketball (all in town), swim (a couple local meets, all practices in town), and ski for fun on free weekends. In the spring it’s lacrosse and softball with another volleyball clinic or maybe a tennis clinic. Summer is swim tennis and softball.
She will absolutely not play sports in college and frankly I’m not even sure if she’ll play in high school, but with this many sports I’m sure she’ll find something she likes to do in high school. She also has a bunch of friends from all the different teams and has yet to burn out on any one sport- except soccer! That one died when the travel games started at 7am.
While I think it is important to take responsibility for commitments, she is 11 and it sounds like she has approached this thoughtfully.
Unless the team is hurting for players and her absence would throw a major wrench in the team’s ability to complete their season, I would just let her leave now and move her to a rec league.
Good for her to realize this. I would let her roll off early in the year. She can try a few different extracurriculars (not all at once) to see what she likes. Like, drama or art classes? Music? Other sports (track?)
I think it’s perfectly reasonable to leave after the fall season. It sounds like she’s mentally done, and there would still be time for them to find another girl to fill her spot.
What is her level of commitment until the next round of tryouts? I’m a club soccer coach, and at our club at this age, we have tryouts once per year in June. The teams play a fall season and spring season, with a break for winter where some kids continue to play indoor soccer, but it is optional and handled separately. If that is the case for you, I’d recommend that she finish out the fall schedule, then quit. The coach will have over the winter to replace her on the roster.
As far as an alternative, she could go back to rec soccer or maybe move down to a second team that’s less competitive at her club. In my experience, the second teams are usually a nice step between rec and super-competitive travel.
I just went through this with my son. Travel soccer took over our lives and it just killed the joy of the game. His decision came towards the end of the season and I made him finish the season. Have you already paid for the season? Can you request a partial refund? It was important to me that my son keep his commitment to the team. He played rec for a season to see how he felt about the sport without all the pressure. At the beginning of this season, he opted to play on his school’s flag football team instead of soccer.
Is anyone here NOT in a corporate/office type job? I’m curious what you do & if you’d recommend it as a career.
I’m ~20 years into my professional career & I feel like I’m having a midlife crisis. I’m so over working a corporate job, it all feels so meaningless and unimportant. I don’t need to save the world in my job, but I find myself sitting in meetings feeling like the things I have to spend my time on at work are so inconsequential. I’m starting to look around and think about what other things I could do instead.
how are you defining corporate? like there are plenty of office jobs that are not corporate and corporate jobs that don’t require being in an office? Like all non profits (charities, schools) have business offices if the only issue is meaning or do you mean the 9-5 grind? What are your skills? what are you currently doing? need more information to properly advise.
No, but part of my plan to stay active and engaged in retirement is to get certified as an Orton-Gillingham instructor and teach dyslexic (and other) kids to read. That is so appealing to me at this point in life. I taught my own (non-dyslexic) kids to read using a program based on O-G, and it was one of the most rewarding parts of my parenting journey, so I want to do it again.
Adult school classes are in the evening so you could try starting with that in addition to or before working with kids. It can be really fulfilling to help someone who is low paid and trying to get their GED.
+1. Adult education is the way to go if you love teaching.
+2
Totally agree. My brother and a friend both volunteer as adult ed teachers. Really rewarding.
Love this! OG tutoring (specifically Barton) has been absolutely incredible for my dyslexic kid. ~3 months in and she’s reading chapter books independently.
I am a fundraiser for an arts nonprofit and have worked in nonprofits for most of my career. This started out as a day job while trying to be an artist. I am 100% sick of my current job after 10 years and trying to get out, but I do like being part of the arts still, and enjoy all of the access that my job gives me to things like free theater tickets. And my coworkers are mostly former actors or other arts people, so I fit in pretty well. But the pay is terrible, especially for starting salaries, so I think it would be tough for a mid-life career change unless you could come in at a high level or really don’t need the money. Depending on your specific skillset, e.g. marketing, accounting, sales, you might be able to find an analog at a nonprofit.
I do project/program management at a National Laboratory. Lots of meetings/calls/emails like what you would find in a corporate job, but it is problem-solving in a dynamic environment and there are plenty of opportunities to observe the scientific and engineering progress that my work supports. It is purposeful and I enjoy what I do.
Based on what you have described, you might consider reading “What Color is Your Parachute” or anything in that genre to help gain perspective on what would be fulfilling for you in this stage of life.
hey, me too!
I work in government. My job is a mix of office job and field work. Very much not corporate.
I love the mission of my job – what I do does not feel inconsequential .
People I know who have felt that way mid-career seem to have gone back to school to become social workers or nurses.
It gets a lot of flack here, but going into a helping profession was so lofe changing for me.
When you feel good about what you’re doing 40+ hours a week it has a huge impact on the rest of your life.
I love mission based work.
Corporate environments are so awful.
I had worked in government and NGOs for my whole career before taking a corporate job. It was awful, but I made myself stick it out for 2 years but it never got better. I’m thankful to be back in the public sector.
I couldn’t stand working for a company that exists to make money for rich people. The income disparity on my team was laughable. A F50 company with high profits wasn’t paying its low level employees a living wage. As a mid level analyst, I was paid below market. Benefits werent good (17 days combined PTO, average retirement match and healthcare). Lots of “perks” (like free breakfast the first month of RTO) but actual benefits and pay were lacking.
Going back to the public sector got me a 20k raise, better benefits, and a HUGE increase in satisfaction.
I love knowing that my work helps people.
I also find my public sector work way more interesting and challenging. The standard here is markedly higher. The environment is more congenial. I feel like I’m more than a cog in the machine.
I work in healthcare and I volunteer with Hospice, and Planned Parenthood.
It is grueling work, but endlessly meaningful.
suggestions of something to send a friend who has to go out of state to terminate a pregnancy? (we live in a state without access). i’ve had a miscarriage, but have never had to terminate and nothing feels like enough in this situation
like a sort of “thinking of you get well quick” present? or something specific? i don’t know that this is an occasion that requires a gift but something thoughtful from a friend is always appreciated. flowers? a nice blanket? something to read? fancy cookies?
Food and flowers, and then flowers on the one-year anniversary is what I did in a similar situation for a friend who had to terminate a wanted pregnancy.
Not a popular opinion: the best gift you can give her is to understand her terror, helplessness, and fear, and show her that those things are surmountable. She’s stronger and more resourceful than she is giving herself credit for, and she’s more than able to dig deep and keep her baby.
Gross.
I actually faced a similar scenario a couple of years ago when my son was diagnosed with a genetic condition in utero that would have rendered his life short and painful.
If any of my friends had told me that nonsense, they would have not only added needlessly to my grief but also been kicked out of my life faster than the speed of light.
That might be appropriate advice if she’s in a blind panic and isn’t doing what she really wants because of external pressures or needs. But you have no reason to think that.
Maybe she would like to live.
This is a really ignorant and privileged opinion, in addition to being unpopular. You would do yourself a favor by at least learning about the myriad reasons people obtain abortions, beyond just the fundamentalist sound bites you have memorized.
X10000000
What even is this take?? Do you actually think people can opt to keep an ectopic pregnancy? Or an incomplete miscarriage?
Go f*** yourself with this sanctimony and BS.
Signed,
Someone who has had an abortion and a miscarriage, for reasons that are none of your g**da** business
Food or a cozy blanket. I gave my friend one of my favorite blankets for her recovery – she loved it and spent the time curled up in bed with it.
I’m sorry to hear. If you know where she is staying, see if the hotel will do a basket of snacks for her. It’s a know your friend thing, but this also the occasion for sending reels of her favorite comfort animal or comfort show to mindlessly scroll.
You’re a thoughtful friend. I think classic get well/ be cozy things apply- fuzzy socks, maybe a heating pad, nail polish or a good book or lip balm. Or just a DoorDash gift card to her favorite place.
Also nice to consider a donation to an abortion fund.
I found out about Spoonful of Comfort dot com on here and have been using it a lot with great reponses from the recipients. So I vote send her some nice chicken soup when she gets home.
Thoughts on wrap dresses, like this one?
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/anne-klein-faux-wrap-jersey-dress/4888893
Are they a classic or do they feel dated? I’ve reached the stage of life where I need a standby funeral dress- there will be one in the next few weeks and likely another this winter, and more over the next few years. I don’t wear dresses very often, both because they’re not really my style and because I’m short, short waisted, and busty, so it’s really hard to find dresses that fit. I’m a 12P or 14P on top and usually 8P in pants, so a lot of stretch is essential, and I prefer sleeves because I live in the frozen north and run cold.
This is a style that generally works for me and I’m not seeing much else appealing out there in petites, but it does feel very 2010s to me. Fashion isn’t really my main concern for a funeral, but don’t want to look out of step- easy, boring, and unremarkable is my goal! In the Midwest and will be attending church funerals and more causal memorial services. Is this what I want or does anyone have better suggestions?
IMHO you don’t need a dress for funerals – I usually wear a dressy pants outfit.
I also don’t think you need a dress for funerals if you prefer slacks. That said, I keep a summer and winter funeral dress. Like this one, they’re never really in style or out, and they’re both completely forgettable – yet stretchy and reasonably comfy.
If you just want a black dress that’s appropriate for the occasion, you can wear for several events over several years, and forgettable, this one fits the ticket.
Glad that I am not the only one who has a winter and summer funeral dress. When my father died last winter, someone asked me if I was going to need to get a dress for the funeral and when I responded that my winter funeral dress would be fine, they looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.
Funeral dresses do not need to be on trend. They need to be conservative and forgettable. This dress looks fine as long as it is not too short or too low cut for your body (it would be too short for me, but I go to a lot of funerals for people whose religious tradition prefers covered knees).
I agree, that’s what I did for the last funeral I went to, and I’ll do it again if I have to, but I don’t actually own much black clothing in general (just pants). Most women were wearing black dresses, so I feel like a good black dress would be easier than trying to assemble an outfit out of my hodgepodge of navy and gray clothes. I’ve been WFH since 2020, so my more formal wardrobe has really diminished and a lot either doesn’t fit well or also doesn’t feel very current.
I have a similar one I wear for the same reason. It’s easy, it looks good on me, I already own it, and even if it’s not on trend it’s not objectionable. I have seen wrap tops in stores this fall so maybe wrap dresses will be back soon? I hope so. But in the meantime, nobody cares about fashion at a funeral.
+1. This dress is totally appropriate for a funeral.
I think wrap dresses are slowly coming back into fashion.
I have a few of the Karen Kane fake wrap dresses and find them very warm, comfortable, and great for weight fluctuations. I think what you linked is totally appropriate for a funeral.
We live in a middle-upper middle class suburb. All SFH on lots of .75-1 acre.
A house at the end of our block seems to have 1-2 elderly residents, plus a middle aged man who clearly has a drug problem.
A few months ago they put up shower curtains all around their front porch. Weird but whatever. They also had several mattresses in the yard for about a year, but they’re gone now.
Now they have a full tent in front of their garage, almost like an extension of their garage. Four sides and pitched roof. Their car is parked on the side lawn.
Would you do or say anything?
Yeah it’s an eyesore and stands out in a neighborhood of otherwise well-kept homes, though it’s not like it’s hurting anyone.
I would ignore.
Do you have an HOA? If so, I probably would say something to the board. (Though they probably already know.)
If no HOA, then I don’t know who you would even say something to? I do not think you will accomplish anything by saying something to the homeowners.
OP here and no, we don’t have an HOA.
Yeah I’d call the town
I have some neighbors with a tent in the front yard. I walked by and it looked like they had some seating set up in there. It looked like they’d created a really nice space for hanging out. So a tent sounds better than rotting mattresses to me, but maybe I’m not envisioning what you’re seeing correctly.
I would give a whole lot of grace. I’m pretty sure the neighbor behind me has someone living in a tent in their backyard. I could call the police, but how does that help? If it’s an elderly parent, they are possibly caught between letting a child with a drug issue inside their home (which can be challenging) and not knowing where their child is on the streets if they are unhoused. A better option would be to see if there is a community agency that might be able to provide support. Where I would intervene is if it seems like the elderly neighbor is being abused.
Call the police for a welfare check. Say you’re concerned about the elderly residents inside.
This, but use the non-emergency number and ask the dispatcher for guidance on what merits a request for a welfare check.
We had a similar neighbor once and while I always hesitate to call law enforcement, our local department was actually quite compassionate in this situation. The neighbor was well known to them, and the responding officers were kind. They gave the rest of us some helpful tips for deciding when to call them back (immediate danger, mail piling up, no trash cans on pickup day, etc.). It was helpful to have something objective to go by.
Ignore. It’s not hurting anything, and some day you may be the person who has a couple of weeks between when the new couch arrives and when your friend with a truck and help haul it to the dump, or whatever.
A few weeks is definitely different than a year, though.
When do you report an admin to HR for the number of mistakes they are making? Admin is making a LOT of mistakes. I think 99% of mistakes would be resolved if she double checked her work. I have encouraged her to double check her work in the past and given praise when things are done correctly. I directly review her work. The mistakes are coupled with her constantly listening to podcasts or TV shows during work hours, eating smelly foods and snapping gum. Perhaps I am petty! But…I honestly wouldn’t care if she watched TV shows, listened to podcasts or ate fried chicken at 9:00am if she didn’t make as many mistakes as she did. I am not sure if I should bring this up to HR now or just wait until her annual reviews in December and throw in my two cents. For reference I am a young associate lawyer and she is a paralegal. Paralegal is a “nice” person in general and I think this could be resolved. I have a friendship with her former boss who mentioned in passing they had trouble with paralegal due to her inattention to detail. Paralegal also seems to job hop, so I am not sure if this is even worth bringing up because I sense she won’t be with our firm long term.
Communicate the issues to her boss. Going around her boss to HR would be a jerk move even if it wasn’t intended that way.
OP here- I should mention– her “boss” and HR are the same person! We are a very small law firm.
To whom does she report?
Are you at a firm where you have a mentor you could discuss this with? At one of my firms, paralegal management was a very sticky political situation, and the best way to handle it was very much non-obvious. Like a test you didn’t know you were taking.
This isn’t the kind of thing you report to HR, imo. Talk to her boss about the impacts it has on your work.
Have you stepped back a moment? You are in BEC territory.
How does the way her food smells impact her attention to detail? How does snapping gum cause mistakes in her work product?
In my firm, you raise issues with her work product to her manager, not to HR. And if you were to complain about her food choices (!) like you do in this post, you would be seen as the problem.