ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 125 Comments

Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Cashmere High V-Neck Sweater

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

A woman wearing a white top, gray sweater, cream-colored joggers with a red stripe on each side, and a black tassel necklace

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I’ve been wearing pajamas and eating cookies for breakfast for the last four days, but I had to come into the office today, so I’m trying to be as comfy as possible. Cashmere sweaters, like this one from J.Crew, look pulled-together but still feel cozy enough that I’m not too mad to be out of my sweatpants.

I really like this sweater's high V-neck, which I think is flattering on me, but not so low that I’d be worried about bending over.

The sweater is $148-$158 at J.Crew and comes in sizes XXS-3X. It also comes in seven other colorways. 

Sales of note for 2/6:

125 Comments

  1. What do you look for in fabric mix when deciding on work trousers? Is anything that doesn’t have wool as first material going to be “lower” quality? Looking for new pair of gray pants for work and finding it harder to judge quality online…

    1. Banana Republic wool suiting pants this year are not itchy and they have a gray that I just got.

    2. That’s the least of my concerns. I look for fit and style first. It’s also just work pants, they don’t need to be of the finest quality.

    3. Fit and machine washability, tbh. Dry cleaning has gotten so expensive and machine-washable fabrics have come a long way in looking nice. Plus no itch factor at the waistband like you get with wool. At this point, only my “real suit” is wool.

    4. I can’t deal with hard pants rn so I’m pretty anti-wool. For not-hard pants, I’m not sure if it’s the fabric composition or if there’s something more that goes into quality. I can definitely tell the difference between, for example, athleta’s or spanx work pants and Eileen fisher’s crepe pants even though they’re all made from some variety of manufactured fabric.

    5. Def understand fit, style, etc. considerations. I have finally admitted to self that I’ve gone up a size in pants so trying to filter search criteria in some useful way but will prob end up buying several to try on and return what doesn’t work. Will check out BR too – appreciate the recommendation!

      1. JCrew’s four-season stretch material looks perfectly nice IRL and washes well. I do touch up the crease with an iron after hanging dry.

  2. What are your new year resolutions/habits/things you want to improve?

    Mine is to use a paper habit tracker to track daily water intake, skincare, screentime less than 2 hours, exercise, and winding down (no screens) after 9pm. I do really well with a check mark system in terms of personal accountability so I am looking forward to using it! Brand is Clever Fox Habit Tracker Calendar in case you’re interested.

    1. This really reads like an ad. I have a little A5 binder and I custom print calendar and goal sheets from staples. It’s very cheap and exactly what I want. Plus more environmentally friendly since I recycle the pages and have had the same binder for *gulp* 7 years.

    2. I want to try meditating daily. I’ve got a Peloton subscription and they have tons so that seems like an easy entry point.

    3. I posted a little rant on here a few days(? weeks? months? time has lost all meaning) ago, but this is my year of no.

      I’ve had a few years of soft-no, so I’ve built up to this. Last year, I cut most after work, work-related extracurriculars. I was pregnant and exhausted and protected my 7 pm bedtime. I miss some of those events so I’m going to pick up a few of them this year; last year’s moratorium helped me to be more selective.

      Most importantly, though, I’m saying no to a lot of internal firm stuff. I need to focus on building my book. Working with other partners in my no-OG sharing firm doesn’t do that. With a new baby, I can’t be both a rainmaker and a superstar servicing partner. Something’s got to give, and it’s sure not going to be rainmaking.

    4. My resolution for the last two years was to go on twelve hikes in the year. In 2024, I had to count very generously, this year, I beat my goal handily. I got to check out various local parks and spend quality time with friends. It’s been good.
      So I’m considering upping it to 15 next year, but maybe call it outings instead of hikes, since I will move to England, and want to give myself flexibility to explore all sorts of things.

      2. This is a great idea! I’m going to try this with DH. Time in nature together is just what we need.

    5. Mine is to put lotion on my arms and legs every day. I tend toward dry skin but I hate taking care of it, so hopefully this will help.

      1. Oh, if I could only make myself do this. I am so resistant to the lotion part of skincare because I don’t like the sensation of the lotion on my skin. I need to be better because I can use my fingernail and play tic tac toe on my skin.

        1. I used to need lotion, but my skin has been fine since getting some medical issues and nutritional deficiencies identified and addressed.

      2. If you need a recommendation, I recommend Alpha Skin Care renewal body lotion, 12% glycolic AHA. It really makes a difference for my 60 – something skin.

      3. This is a worthy goal. One of those things that really makes a difference, but the lotion-y feeling is slightly off putting so I try to get away without doing it. I recently started doing it in the morning instead of at night, and ending my morning shower with a blast of very hot water so the idea of putting on cold lotion isn’t so awful. (I know hot water causes dry skin, etc). My skin is thanking me and after a few weeks it’s become a habit. I also discovered that if I put the lotion on the back of my hand I can reach my entire back, which is a game changer.

        1. Somebody on here told me about Neutrogena Hydro Boost Body Gel Cream, which despite the name is a lotion. It really doesn’t have that nasty lotion-y feeling.

        2. I put my lotion on top of the shower drain when I get in the shower. The draining water warms the lotion. And. I can dry off and put on lotion while still in the warm shower. It has been a game changer for me.

      4. For those who dislike the feeling of lotion, try shower oil instead! Put it on while you’re still damp in the shower, before you dry off. It soaks in quickly and doesn’t leave me feeling greasy, and it’s super quick and easy. I was never good at putting lotion on, but I’ve maintained this habit for years now. Neutrogena and Burt’s Bees both make one.

        1. I use the Curel Hydratherapy Wet Skin Moisturizer, which you apply the same way and it’s been a game changer for me.

        2. Similarly, I wonder if body butter would be a more welcome texture. I know people either love or hate Lush, but they have these solid body butter bars, obviously strongly perfumed. You can probably get the same type of product from other places.

    6. I plan to get back to writing letters again. I used to have a pretty big group of correspondents, but what with email and laziness it’s reduced to nearly zero. There’s such a lovely feeling when you see a proper letter waiting for you in your mailbox.

  3. Yesterday’s miscarriage discussion made me think y’all might have some insights about a tricky situation.

    Amy and I have known each other for over 10 years but became very close when we were going through infertility treatment at the same time, starting about 5 years ago. I had a baby 18 months ago; sadly she had not had a pregnancy. She’s distanced herself since I had the baby and I’ve respected that. We see each other maybe once a month at a yoga studio we both like and we text each other periodically.

    DH and I flew to see his family over Christmas; it was the first time his family met the baby. On Christmas Eve, Amy called me crying. She said she’s having a miscarriage and can I come over right away? I told her I was a flight away and asked where her husband was. She asked me to change my flight to come home, her husband was home but wasn’t being supportive. I know her husband, he’s a great guy, so I thought that was odd. I told her I’m sorry I can’t change my flight but I’ll come spend time with her when I get back. She cried more, which made me feel horrible, but tearfully said she understood.

    I got back late Sunday and took the day off work to visit with her yesterday. She was beside herself. Eventually it came out that she was 4 week “pregnant,” had taken pregnancy tests that were all negative but she “just knew” she was pg, and when she went to the ER for the MC she refused a blood test to confirm it was a MC. I talked to her husband. He doesn’t believe she had a MC, and this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. I gave him the number for the fertility clinic’s therapist and group therapy sessions; her husband said she stopped treatment months ago. I recommended he look into therapy at least for himself.

    I’m not really sure what to do here, if anything? Is this a put your own oxygen mask on first kind of thing? Does that make me a bad friend?

    1. You are not a bad friend! Your friend needs therapy. You also had the right idea for suggesting therapy to her DH.

    2. This is not an oxygen mask situation. Your friend is struggling with her fertility. Do whatever makes sense based on your relationship with her. That’s likely just listening and being there. It’s not your situation to fix, but it’s yours to listen and support.

      1. Agree; not an O2 mask situation. If anything, Amy is the boy who cried wolf.

        And OP, listening and supporting Amy doesn’t mean you have to be at her beck and call every time she rings you up. That could mean you listen with compassion, tell her you cannot miss your family holiday to fly back and be with her, and encourage her to call the therapist. You don’t have to pretend her history here isn’t real, nor do you have to take on the role she wants you to play. You can make it clear that you care for her but that you are not qualified to provide the professional support she needs.

        1. This is really helpful, thank you. You’re right, I don’t have to do exactly what she wants in order to be there for her.

          I guess the O2 mask thing is – I’ve had multiple miscarriages. I still grieve those babies. I’ve also had many (MANY) months where I got my period and was crying on the floor of my bathroom in disappointment. Having a miscarriage is not the same as getting your period. It honestly made me pretty angry that she just got her period but is claiming to have had a MC. I… don’t think I could be a good shoulder to cry on under these circumstances. (And fwiw no I didn’t lean on her like this when I had my MCs, I didn’t tell anyone but DH until I was a few months past it.)

          2. While it’s likely it was just her period, she may have convinced herself otherwise. When you want something so badly, magical thinking starts happening.

    3. This breaks my heart. Your friend is struggling, and this is so difficult for her and for the people who love her. I’m so sorry this is happening for all of you.

    4. So Amy got her period on Christmas Eve, right on schedule, and then wanted you to change your flight and got mad at her husband for not comforting her?

      I wish I could give advice but this one is beyond me. This sounds like “talk to a good therapist” so you can learn how to best handle being her friend in this situation.

      1. Yes, it’s her period not a MC. She’s calling it a MC. She refuses to believe that she was not pg, even though all the pregnancy tests were negative. Her husband said this is not the first time she’s done this, and that she stopped going to the fertility center in part because they told her she wasn’t having miscarriages.

        I wonder if she should be hospitalized as opposed to simply seeing a therapist. Idk, I’m glad to not be the one to have to make that decision. I hope her husband reaches out to the doctor for help.

        1. I think it is pretty hard to have someone hospitalized unless they are an imminent danger to themselves or others, but she clearly needs help. One thing you could look into is whether there is a psychiatric emergency room in your area. If so, let her husband know in case this becomes more of an emergency.

    5. Oof. This isn’t the first time she’s done this, so I think it’s time for all of the sympathy but anything else should be from a professional. “I’m so worried about you / what happened / etc.” “I don’t know what to say but I can go with you to someone who may be able to help.”

    6. Your friend Amy sounds like she is having a breakdown. It’s horrible to see it happen.

      My good friend had over 10 miscarriages and a still birth. It’s was very hard on her and her husband. They were both Catholic and leaned on their faith to get them through.

      She eventually had a child and at 6 months post partum her husband was diagnosed with cancer. He passed away 10 years later.

      There were a few times she called me in floods of tears, unable to carry on. I would spend 3-4 hours on the phone with her just listening. I would walk her to her church and sit with the baby, take the child for ice cream or whatever as he wanted so my friend could talk and pray. Thats what helped her keep going.

      It’s really hard with infertility. IVF isn’t the easy process they make it out to be. I’ve not done it myself but, all my friends who have, had a very hard time. It was hard on them personally and their marriage.

      You have done the right thing to suggest therapy. To fly home was her breakdown. Not unreasonable to decline that.

  4. Have you tried a brow serum? Did it work and how fast? I have been using one for a few weeks. Or do I need to go straight to a rogaine-type product and hope it has a little eyebrow wand?

    2. I did revitalash on my brows about a decade ago and it worked very well, just had to stick with it. Mine was to undo major millennial overplucking, not hairloss, per se, so consider the cause and maybe consult a derm?

    3. I use RevitaLash RevitaBrow, and hoo boy, it works. Groucho Marx over here. My brows got SO DARK, and once I saw pictures of myself, I was so embarrassed I’d been walking around like that and didn’t see it. I had to stop applying regularly, and now only use once every 10 days- 2 weeks, and that’s enough to keep them filled in. I can spot other users instantly.

  5. I am dressed comfy today too! To Elizabeth’s point though, when I get dressed for the office with the intention of being “comfy” I often end up looking more casual than I would like. One of my goals this year was to have a real separation between my work clothes and my casual clothes and to be more intentional about dressing (I have taken on a leadership role and wanted to dress the part). Things I do to combat this when I want to be comfy at work are: still do hair and makeup (no messy buns on top of my head!) wear accessories, especially a belt, which tends to make it all look a bit more put together, and try not to go overboard on baggy items (e.g. if my pants are looser, my top is slimmer to maintain the right dimensions).

    1. I’ll add to this: throw a blazer over it. A well-fitting blazer makes just about any outfit look more put together, especially if you’re sitting most of the meeting or on zoom.

    2. Especially in a leadership role, invest in a suit that fits well. Tailored or even custom made if that’s what it takes. A suit that fits well feels like pajamas while still looking sharp. It’s a godsend on those days when you just want comfort but still need to project a certain image.

  6. My father has recently passed away, and once we (…eventually) sort everything out, I expect to inherit a mid six figure amount. I have no idea what to do with it? I am almost 50, single and am generally financially sound (my mortgage is low, no other debts, and I max my 401k these days). I mean, do I just…invest it? We honestly thought my mom would live much longer and need the money, but she also passed away recently, so I’m a little baffled what to do?

    1. I feel horrible for even contemplating this, as my dad is still alive and kicking, but a recent health scare really brought home that he might not be for all that much longer. So, inevitably, I started thinking about what I would do with about the same amount. I’m a little older than you, but an empty nester with a pretty well-funded retirement. My thought was to, first, use it as a hedge against having to retire earlier than I intend, so invest it with the expectation that I could pull it out to live on before I am ready to tap into retirement. Once that is past, we would consider a second home in a destination location that my adult kids would also enjoy-lake, beach, mountains, etc.
      I do want to put in a plug for updating your umbrella coverage. $500K in an investment account is a tempting target.

    2. Yep, either invest it or pay off your mortgage. It’s a good problem to have, though I’m sure you’d rather have your loved ones back and healthy.

    3. Investing it is sound. Please consider increasing your charitable giving budget a bit too.

      You could also consider taking a small amount regularly (like on their birthdays) and doing something they’d love.

    4. I’d put $ into a Roth – if you’re over 50 I think it’s $8k. You could do 2025 until April then for 2026 after that. If you have access to a health savings account max that. If you have kids or grandkids consider putting some money into a 529.

      Otherwise I’d invest the $, especially if you don’t need it. Maybe 25% in a target date fund and the rest in basic index funds. Bogleheads has specific suggestions for all of the main brokers like vanguard/fidelity/schwab.

      If your mortgage is under 5% don’t pay it off, the $ will do better in the market.

    5. Oh – and really think about your priorities. If you’re in good health now don’t wait for retirement to take big trips or things like that.

    7. By mid-six figures do you mean half a million or so? I’d do something fun or buy something special with maybe 10% of it (take a trip, but a special piece of jewelry), then invest the rest. My feeling is “there’s no such thing as too much retirement savings” so I’d be delighted with such a big boost.

      1. Oh, just saw the suggestion for charitable giving above. I’d do some of that, too.

    8. Your real question: is this within your “enjoy life” budget? If you didn’t buy the cello, what would you do with $10,000 that would either be very financially responsible (eg pay down debt, save for retirement) or would be used for greater enjoyment?

      Forget about appreciation of value of the instrument. That only matters if you want to sell it. The questions are whether or not it you can afford $10,000 of “joy” spending and if it would bring you ten thousand dollars of joy in a way that spending ten thousand dollars elsewhere would not.

      It’s a durable instrument that you will enjoy for what, 30 years? That’s $300ish a year.

    9. I am sorry for your loss.

      That amount would prompt me to talk to a fee-only fiduciary financial adviser.

    10. I would pay off my (low) remaining mortgage balance and invest the rest. The lack of mortgage payment would free me up to take a lower paying job if I wanted/needed to before I hit my planned retirement age.

      1. I think this depends on what your mortgage interest rate is. If it is really low, it would probably make more sense to invest the money and just use investment earnings to pay the mortgage if you want to take a lower paying job.

        OP, I am sorry for your losses. You don’t have to do anything right away, so give yourself time to think through what would make you happiest, including giving to charity (because it does feel good!)

        1. Thanks y’all. No kids, and mortgage is at 2.5% so no rush there! The umbrella insurance note is a good one, thanks. It is likely somewhere around $500k in the end, so like, enough that it’s a lot more than I’m used to, but not so much that I can like, quit my job or something. I know I’m already in an enviable financial position (and appreciate the charity push!)—if I needed this, it would be easier in some ways (like, my younger brother will probably buy a house, good for him).

          1. Echoing everything everyone else has said so far in terms of investing, etc., but are there are any home upgrades that you would like? A new deck, bathroom upgrade, etc?

          2. Yeah, when my dad died my brother spent his share of the estate (much less than you’re talking about) making much-needed upgrades to his house and he and his wife were really happy about it.

          3. Chiming in late as I was in almost the exact same situation (both parents died within a very short period after short illnesses) no kids, low mortgage interest, middle aged, inheritance near $500k. We did wind up just investing almost all of it. I’m in my mid 40s but I’d love to retire early. Both of my parents died very shortly after their retirements at 65 and that weighs heavily on my mind. I’ll have to reevaluate in a few years but I’d like to think my parents gifted me time and freedom.

    11. I feel like charity is part of the answer here. Pick one or a couple that matter to you and commit to something like $500 or 1000 monthly. Long term planning certainty is extremely valuable for these things.

  7. For those planning to reflect on the past year: The NYT ran an article, Seven Questions to Ask Yourself for a Happier New Year. (I’ll put a gift link in the comments.) Here are the questions, plus a few others that I gleaned from the comments:

    When did you feel the most joyful and carefree?
    What gave you energy?
    What drained it?
    What seemed impossible — but you did it anyway?
    What habit, if you did it more consistently, would have a positive effect on your life?
    What did you try to control that was actually outside your control?
    Is there anyone you need to forgive in 2026?
    Is there anyone to whom you should apologize?
    Who did you help – or try to help – this year?
    Considering the people with whom you spent your time – including through social media, and through podcasts and TV shows – did spending time with them uplift you? Should you consider weaning myself off any of them?

    2. This seems so worthwhile. I thought I’d share my responses.

      When did you feel the most joyful and carefree? – When I was with my DH, child, parents, and SIL/BIL, which was thankfully often. We have so much fun together.

      What gave you energy? – Sleep. My child is under 2, so sleep was the key.

      What drained it? – Drama at work.

      What seemed impossible — but you did it anyway? – Recovering physically and emotionally from a traumatic birth. Still a work in progress, but that progress has been real.

      What habit, if you did it more consistently, would have a positive effect on your life? – Getting outside more.

      What did you try to control that was actually outside your control? – Coworkers responses to my return to work. Stigma around new moms is a real thing. I can just perform as I always have, and they need to get over it.

      Is there anyone you need to forgive in 2026? – Myself.

      Is there anyone to whom you should apologize? – DH.

      Who did you help – or try to help – this year? – A struggling junior coworker.

      Considering the people with whom you spent your time – including through social media, and through podcasts and TV shows – did spending time with them uplift you? Should you consider weaning myself off any of them? – I need distance from some folks at work. I need more time with family.

  8. For those planning to reflect on the past year: The NYT ran an article, Seven Questions to Ask Yourself for a Happier New Year. (I’ll put a gift link in the comments.) Here are the questions, plus a few others that I gleaned from the comments:

    When did you feel the most joyful and carefree?
    What gave you energy?
    What drained it?
    What seemed impossible — but you did it anyway?
    What habit, if you did it more consistently, would have a positive effect on your life?
    What did you try to control that was actually outside your control?
    Is there anyone you need to forgive in 2026?
    Is there anyone to whom you should apologize?
    Who did you help – or try to help – this year?
    Considering the people with whom you spent your time – including through social media, and through podcasts and TV shows – did spending time with them uplift you? Should you consider weaning yourself off any of them?

  9. I am contemplating a purchase and struggling with the idea of spending money on a non-practical item that I really want. I want to buy myself a $10,000 cello. I am now 38 years old and have played the cello since I was 10. I got my current cello when I was 14. My cello is…fine…but I want a better one. I am not a professional musician and have no aspirations of playing professionally. This would be simply for me to play.

    The cello I am considering is made by an up-and-coming maker whose instruments will most likely appreciate in value. I have close to $400,000 saved across all accounts. The monthly mortgage/insurance/tax payment on my very modest home totals only $1,200. I do not have kids and will not ever have kids, so I am not saving for college. I myself have no student loan debt.

    I have never bought a new car. I did not have a wedding when I got married. I have never bought myself diamond jewelry. I do not buy fancy purses. I do not get manicures or fancy hair care.

    I am very unaccustomed to spending money on myself for non-practical things. I somehow developed a scarcity mindset around money, and I tend to catastrophize when I think about money. Rationally, I know that buying an expertly crafted instrument is, all things considered, much more prudent than a lot of other big purchases. Instruments hold value much better than cars, jewelry, horses, or art. I will be able to enjoy this instrument every day for years and years.

    Why can I not just do this for myself?

    1. BUY THE CELLO. You won’t regret it! It will bring you happiness every time you play!

      If you can’t bring yourself to buy it, go to therapy and explore why not. But really, do it!

      Source: we bought an $8K piano instead of getting by with our former 100-year-old instrument.

      1. This.

        My daughter started playing MY violin and within 2 years it was time for a new model. Mine had been a rental that my parents bought me when I was 10. We will have it as a spare. But it’s OK to buy it.

    2. Buy it!

      I am personally into antiques and I came across a piece of history with a wild providence that I ended up spending 5k on. Every single day when I use it I get so much joy. Like your instrument this will also appreciate I’m value but I did not buy it for that reason, I want to own it until I die.

    5. Another internet stranger telling you to BUY THE CELLO. It will bring you joy. And, you might want to engage a bit on why you are catastrophizing about money.

    6. It looks like you already did the math to reach the conclusion that the odds you’ll ever rather have the 10k than the instrument are low to nil!

      Does it help to recognize and appreciate that you’ve achieved the ability to patronize cello making? There are a lot of ways of spending money that don’t contribute to preserving the arts across generations!

    7. No odea, I’d buy the cello in a heartbeat and do some reflecting on why you don’t want to do things for yourself that will bring joy.

    8. BUY THE CELLO! There is no reason not to. I had that scarcity mindset ingrained in me as a child, and finally let it go recently. I bought myself a new car which I really didn’t ‘need’ but wanted and could easily afford. It was incredibly freeing and validating to feel that I could buy something just for the sake of my own happiness. You deserve that too. You will get lots of pleasure from the cello, so go for it and don’t look back. Life it too short.

    9. Oh my goodness BUT IT. I am rediscovering music in retirement and it is the most joyous thing in my life at the moment. I am envious of you doing it at your age and YES YES YES BUY THE CELLO!!!

    11. Do it!! You and I sound very similar financially (except that my mortgage is way higher than yours) and life-goals wise. I also have a scarcity mindset around money and really struggle with “unnecessary” big purchases. For me, it’s the fear of catastrophe and regret – what if something awful happens and I wish I had this extra 10k? At this point in my life, I feel pretty confident that 10k is unlikely to ever be the only thing standing between me and destitution (knock wood). If life got that awful, I could sell that cello. In any event, you also owe it to yourself to enjoy your life and make it meaningful, rather than deprive yourself out of fear of the worst case scenario. And this is really one of those things that you will enjoy for your whole life and, as an amateur artist, my take is that you just cannot put a price on the elation of engaging in your art and doing it well. Buy it and enjoy it!!!

    12. Buy the cello! You will likely be playing it for decades, bring the per year cost down to several hundred dollars a year. That’s under a dollar a day, if you play until you are 68. For something that brings you joy, this is an easy splurge under your current financial circumstances. Enjoy!

    13. I have found that my “scarcity” mindset around money manifests itself in weird ways that aren’t always optimised for saving money. It just feels like some things are “off limits,” inherently frivolous, and I “shouldn’t” spend money on them.

      Your real question: is this within your “enjoy life” budget? If you didn’t buy the cello, what would you do with $10,000 that would either be very financially responsible (eg pay down debt, save for retirement) or would be used for greater enjoyment?

      Forget about appreciation of value of the instrument. That only matters if you want to sell it. The questions are whether or not it you can afford $10,000 of “joy” spending and if it would bring you ten thousand dollars of joy in a way that spending ten thousand dollars elsewhere would not.

      It’s a durable instrument that you will enjoy for what, 30 years? That’s $300ish a year.

      (Nesting fail above!)

    14. “Why can I not just do this for myself?”
      You just detailed why you can’t: you make money choices from a scarcity mindset, and you catastrophize in FEAR about the future.

      I live in a tornado-prone part of the country. Every Saturday at noon, all the tornado sirens in the city sound as a test. It’s loud. They go on for a long time. We all know what they are and go on about our business. Sometimes the sirens are meaningful. On Saturdays at noon we ignore them.

      In this decision, you need to accept that a part of yourself will be sounding a very loud siren of FEAR CATASTROPHE FEAR POVERTY FEAR DESTITUTION FEAR GUILT FEAR. You can go to therapy and help turn down that noise. But you can also learn when to pay attention to the siren and when to ignore it and go about your business. Right now, the siren isn’t meaningful. So let it blare while you go ahead and place the order for the cello.

      1. I love this advice! This is such a great way to think about when our instincts muddle our thinking due to past experience. Thank you for sharing.

    15. Buy it! $10K is not even that much for an instrument, and it will give you joy every day.

    16. As someone in a similar situation who spent that on a horse (which you’re right, doesn’t hold value and will always end up costing many multiples of the purchase price over their lifetime), I say buy the cello! Life is not guaranteed, do the thing that gives you joy now if you can afford it, which you can.

    17. You mention being married. Can you coordinate with your spouse to frame this purchase as their gift to you?

      My husband and I do this for each other. Neither of us feel comfortable buying big ticket items for ourselves, so we “give” them to each other. Silly and no practical difference, but mentally I have a much easier time accepting and enjoying that splurge thing I wanted when it is a gift from my husband than if I were to just buy it myself.

    18. It sometimes helps me to frame expensive purchases in context of other expensive purchases. Like- I’d (likely) spend an extra $10,000 on the purchase price of house without really thinking or worrying about it. I’d probably spend close to that on a different car (like $25k vs $35k). It’s about 2 vacations. Etc etc.

    20. My 3.5 year old daughter is taking cello lessons. She started on a cardboard cello and just got a 15″ cello with real strings the week before Christmas. I hope when she is 38 she will buy the cello too!

      It is hard to treat yourself but music is so important. It is an investment in your mental health and therefore practical. Go for it!

    21. Donate your old one to a middle school so that some kid who can’t afford to rent a cello for home can have what you have enjoyed. Often kids only get to use the school cellos at school and can’t practice at home. Pay it forward when you get your new cello.

    22. Buy the cello!

      I sold some Netflix stock to buy myself a used grand piano for $15k about 12 years ago. I had a similar financial situation (although I was pregnant at the time and have 3 kids now) and also struggle with personal indulgence spending, and I’m the same type of musician you are – good amateur, have played since childhood, no intention to ever pursue music professionally, I just like it. Considering how much Netflix has gone up since then, this is now a very, very expensive instrument in terms of opportunity cost, but…I play almost every day and do not regret the purchase.

    23. I just did this, except piano instead of cello. It has brought so much joy every day in less than a year of ownership I have zero regrets and it is badass to be so invested in a hobby that brings so much joy, and that you are good enough at it to appreciate the value of a $10k instrument. Do it, make music, and die happy. Playing an instrument also offsets dementia risk so your end of life care will be cheaper.

    24. Buy it. When it seems like a lot, think of the per use cost.

      You’ve had the last one for 24 years, so if you have this one for 24 years and play even every second day – that’s like a like $2.25 per use. And if you play every day, it’s barely more than a dollar a day.

    25. My husband bought a great piano for me as a gift many years ago. It was much more of a financial stretch for us than your purchase would be. I have never ever regretted it. I hope you love your new cello.

    27. Buy the cello. If I had the space, I would buy a baby grand piano just for the joy of owning one and I don’t even play regularly any more. But it would remind me of my childhood and the sacrifices my parents made to get me a used piano that I had to sell when we sold their house.

  10. Years ago I had a hair styling tool that was part flat iron, part curling iron, so I, who never mastered curling irons, could easily straighten my hair and curl the ends in one go. It was in luggage that got lost and I never replaced it, but thanks to a new (shorter than I wanted) haircut, it’s time. Anyone have a current similar tool they would recommend?

    2. Tymo Stylux? It’s a round heated brush that uses the same technology as a flatiron. I have very thick wiry hair and it straightens the top part of my shoulder length hair (which I do a quick pass with) while then holding the ends for an extra second which gives them curl. I am not describing this well but it did a better job on my wiry hair than the curling iron (which I sold, unused, on Ebay).

    3. T3 single pass style max, it’s curved so you can straighten or curl and flip the ends.

  11. I’m very sad about Tatiana Schlossberg. I know people die from cancer every day and leave behind young children. Sometimes the world seems so cruel/unfair.

    1. I agree, it’s so sad especially for a family that has already had so much tragedy. \

      I feel like the number of young (<40 y.o. or so) people getting stage 4 cancer and dying from cancer is much higher than it used to be, although I looked it up and it doesn't seem like that's actually true. Perhaps I'm just more aware of it as I get more into middle age (I'm 40).

      1. I agree as well, it is so very sad. As a mom of two young kids like her, her story has haunted me. The world is indeed sometimes very cruel.

    2. I think it’s particularly sad because so many in her family have died prematurely.

Comments are closed.