ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Maeve Faux Leather Slip Skirt

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black faux leather midi skirt with side slit (to just above knee)

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I’m not sure if I could pull off this faux leather skirt from Alice and Olivia, but I would be absolutely delighted to see someone else do it.

I think the trick to wearing something a little bit daring like this is to keep the rest of the outfit as conservative as possible. A chiffon blouse or cashmere sweater would be great options, along with some classic heels or boots. 

The skirt is $350 at Bloomingdale’s and comes in sizes 0-14. 

Sales of note for 1/15:

120 Comments

  1. Undershirts! I wear sweaters most days and need undershirts to wear, well, under them. I prefer natural fibers and need long sleeves. What are we liking these days?

      1. Is it in natural fibres? I tried Costco branded thermals style tops and they made me feel slightly electrically charged.

    2. Icebreaker merino base layers are thin, breathable, soft, and machine washable. Unless the purpose of the undershirt is that you don’t like wool against your skin!

    4. I like fitted cotton or modal tees in whatever neckline and color works with the sweater (navy, black, grey, and pink usually cover all my bases there). My current batch is from GAP. Once they start getting faded, I turn them into PJ tops and replace with a fresh iteration.

    5. I like the Eddie Bauer silk long underwear. They are really lightweight and great for layering

    6. I am Team Turtleneck, even when the sweater is also a turtleneck. My neck can’t bear wool next to it (maybe except merino) and I run cold. Mostly solid white, but I bust out my inner Elizabeth Holmes and rock the black sometimes.

  2. I’m doing estate planning this winter (single, no kids) and would like to leave money to charity. Any best practices to minimize red tape for the charity when the time comes? IAAL but this isn’t my area.

    1. It’s easy to leave them unrestricted cash. Worst case is a general partnership interest in a small business that is contentious and underinsured and facing lawsuits and unpaid tax liabilities.

    2. Most major charities have a planned giving office, I would start by contacting them.

      1. I’d look it up online. Sometimes, you don’t want to really be on the radar because many places just become like a tick embedded on you and then start selling their mailing lists.

      2. Most charities will respect your wishes of not wanting to be contacted, but it would be easier on the charity to talk to them now. You can always change your mind. And if you trust the charity enough to leave them funds, please consider making the donation unrestricted. As the CFO of a charity that has been in operation for decades, I spend a lot to time dealing with donations for aspects of the organization that no longer exist.

        1. This! Especially when people only think of the initial value, and not maintenance.

    3. EP attorney here- call the specific charity and ask them directly for their EIN, address and the full name of the charity :). Another thing to speak with your EP attorney about is considering leaving all or part of a retirement account to a charity. Happy planning!

    4. Change your beneficiary of your bank account, IRA/401k etc, and brokerage account to your charity of choice. If you have a charitable giving account at your brokerage, you can change the beneficiary of that as well. So when you die, all of your stuff will quickly transfer ownership to the charity. So easy.

      BTW – If you leave a traditional IRA to an individual, they will have to pay tax when distributions are eventually taken. But if you leave a traditional IRA to a charity, then no taxes are owed. So that is the most efficient way to donate your money. Give your IRA to charity. If you are giving to an individual, give your Roth IRA (tax already paid), and brokerage account (heir gets step up basis and owes no tax on withdrawals). This does not address whether the total estate owes federal or state taxes.

      Real estate / personal items in your home + vehicle are a little different. Check your state requirements for real estate but you can sometimes change the beneficiary on your home to a person but I’m not sure if you can leave it directly to a charity as well. You can indicate in your will who will inherit your real estate / belongings. That will be a bit of work for any charity to deal with.

      2. I wouldn’t leave the checking account to the charity –because then they have to be the ones writing checks for post-mortem expenses. And there almost always ARE post-mortem expenses. Have TOD to someone (with contingencies) you trust to be your executor.

  3. Do any of you (maybe any of you post-menopause) see your PCP for gynecological / well woman care? Now that that’s me, it came up at a recent annual physical. I didn’t realize that that was even an option, but apparently “internal medicine” encompasses all of the parts. And I guess in some underserved areas, this is common or at least allows for one-stop shopping, which makes a bit of sense. What do you do IRL? My mother and aunt died recently enough that this was never on my radar to know (plus, other health problems subsumed their final years). I live in a city and like both doctors, who are in-network at the same hospital-owned office practice, both close by. Both are women, younger than me. The OB/GYN doctors come and go from that practice; I get the feeling that the IM doctors are a lot more rooted where they are. Keep both?

    1. I did for a long time. Only started seeing an OBGYN while having kids in early 30s. I now see both but on a less frequent schedule (like I switch off years between the gyn and the PCP), so I have established record of care at either place in case needed. I’m young and generally healthy though. Prior to pregnancy years, my PCP did all paps, std checks, etc.

    2. I have had a primary who was great with well-woman care (in my 30s) and one who was awful (in my 40s). So now in my 50s I go to a gyn-only practice in addition to my primary. It gives me piece of mind to have an expert to go to with my questions about weird perimenopause happenings, and she was super helpful getting me on hormones to manage my symptoms. I feel like I see specialists for other problems – ENT, psych, back problems – why wouldn’t I see one for this?

      1. Interesting — I didn’t realize that you could opt in to only one part of OB/GYN. It makes sense — probably lower malpractice premiums and more schedule predictability.

        1. Women’s health involves more than just having babies. There are many different health conditions associated with female reproductive health. Think of it this way – you’re going to have a better outcome if the doctor doing your hysterectomy or endometriosis excision surgery does lots of those types of procedures rather than a few per month squeezed in around obstetric duties.

          1. I hear you, but as a woman north of 40, I am not sure we are a patient population that gets a lot of attention in young doctor training. IDK if CMEs cover that and peri/menopause care.

        2. This is a really weird take. You do know that a significant majority of uteruses are un-pregnant at any given time, right? And that they don’t cease needing medical attention outside of childbearing?

    3. I’ve always generally used my PCP, save for a brief time that I was referred for a colposcopy and loved the gyn I saw (and saw her until she retired). I’ve always seen a PCP that is part of a large family/general practice office, and which is owned/operated in conjunction with the hospital system whereever I am living.

      I currently use my PCP because I like her, but I’m going to discuss a referral to a gyn (and if she has a recommendation) at my physical in January. I’m having perimenopause symptoms at 40, and am wondering if I would benefit from a gyn to help monitor.

      If i were currently seeing a gyn I liked in my middle years, I’d keep going to her, unless it was really inconvenient to do so.

    4. I’m 44, no kids, and have been on the pill for forever. I have used my PCP for all of my general medicine/well-woman exam for years. About a year ago, I saw a gyn just to check in on her thoughts on the peri scene, and she recommended staying on bcp for another 10 years to try to ride out peri. That’s what I’m doing, and I have returned to my PCP for all of my care. Doing my primary care this way has worked well for me, but I also have not had high needs yet.

    5. Absent a specific need, I go to whoever I like better. I used to have only an OBGYN and no PCP. Then I had a PCP and no OBGYN for a few years. When I was TTC and pregnant I had both. Now I’m in my 40s and I’m starting to have concerns that aren’t just well woman-related, like joint aches and pains. I hate my PCP, though, so I’m in the market for a new one. Unfortunately, everyone I know is in the same boat.

    6. I started on birth control in my 20s and got that from an OB/GYN. It wasn’t until a few years later that I got a PCP, so I’ve always had separate doctors. It’s worked fine for me.

      I found a new GYN a couple of years ago and they do mammograms in office, so I can combine my annual exam and mammogram in one appointment which is convenient.

    7. I have used an internist for all of my care before. I do also currently see a menopause specialist gynecologist for perimenopause treatment and probably will continue. But prior to that when I just needed a routine pelvic exam, the internist/pcp was fine.

      1. Do you mind sharing your city / area? I’d love to find something like this near me (but suspect it’s all concierge care where I live).

        1. I found one on menopause dot org. Top of the page includes an option to search by location. I think I found the website through Mary Claire Haver or Stacy Sims.

        2. You can also try the menopause reddit. They keep a list of doctors by area, but otherwise, NAMS is the certifying organization.

    8. I see a Gyn because I have gyn issues, but if I had no problems, I think seeing a PCP would be fine.

    9. As a doctor myself, I had only an OB/Gyn as my primary in my 20s. Then I transitioned to a PCP who also did my well woman yearly exams (pelvic/breast/general) in my 30s. But once I hit perimenopause I looked for a Gyn who specializes in menopause. I didn’t have children, so that wasn’t an issue, but of course if I had I would have had an OB/Gyn who specialized in the OB side during my pregnancies.

      Medicine is complex. You can’t expect that a general PCP can keep abreast of all the latest medicine/research trials in Gyn related care. Menopause. Women’s cancer screenings. You just can’t. And it is too important to mess around with.

      I love my PCP and she also does family medicine (kids, well woman PAPs etc..). I see her as the quarterback who knows me best, does physical exams, and has good judgement as to when we need additional testing and referrals to specialists. And of course, I can see her for a simple infection/rash etc. But that’s it. I quickly realized I couldn’t trust her judgement about my options for perimenopause. She gave me poor advice about my estrogen options, the cause of my hair loss, and how to balance my higher cancer risks. And even though my PCP can do pelvic exams and breast exams, I realized I want to have a doctor do those who closely follows women with abnormal findings, and does these exams all day every day.

      That being said, it is extremely difficult to find a really good PCP that you trust, nevermind a Gyn specializing in Menopause.

    11. I think you can rely on your PCP for pelvic exams and paps, but mine was really not well versed in HRT when that became a need for me. My PCP referred me back to my gyn who I had not seen in years for that.

  4. TW infertility/MC

    After a long battle with infertility and many rounds of IVF, I have a beautiful, healthy 5 month old. My brother and his wife are also trying but my brother is very anti-IVF. SIL is the same age as me (40); brother is older and has adult children. They visited to meet my baby for the first time over Christmas. Sadly, SIL had a miscarriage the week before their flight. It was a very hard Christmas for everyone.

    What can I do to support her? I’ve never had a miscarriage. I had a difficult, dangerous pregnancy, and my medical team kept reassuring me that none of it was my fault. I was always perplexed when they said that; do people really think these complications are their fault? I did a deep dive on fertility, embryology, and my various pregnancy complications when I was going through it. There’s so much data that shows that much of this is out of your control; just look at the data and you’ll feel better, right?

    Well, SIL has been blaming herself. My brother and I have both tried to reassure her that it’s not her fault, and he’s talked about all the studies, but I don’t think that’s actually what she needs rn. This is an emotion-driven thing as opposed to a logic-driven thing. I tried to be a shoulder to cry on and just shut up about the data. Now that they’re home, is there anything I can do to continue to support her? And to support my brother in his caregiving role? My brother is looking to me like I have some special knowledge because I’m a woman, but I’m coming up pretty empty.

    1. I think that “not your fault” is what people say to mean something more like: nothing that you did or didn’t do caused this result. Because we live in a world full of nonsense and not-science and people who judge, and to those people they will say what SIL may hear: that if you only did or didn’t do X, you wouldn’t have had a miscarriage. Which is nonsense.

      1. Yes, this is what we mean and have said to her. There was some problem with the baby, likely chromosomal at that stage. There is nothing you can do to affect how the cells combine and split and so on. And if there was an underlying issue with a gamete, it was just as likely to be an issue with his as with yours.

        What I didn’t say because I don’t think it would be helpful to her, though it was helpful for me to think about early in my pregnancy — the baby did you a great service by giving up when it did rather than hanging on. Whatever its condition was, it was incompatible with life. The baby’s body realized that and said thank you and goodbye before it could cause you greater pain. I don’t think she’s ready to hear that and I’m not sure she ever will be. But that sentiment might be comforting to my brother.

        1. I know you mean well by this, but it grated on me and I’m not the one who suffered a miscarriage. “The baby said thank you and good bye” NO just NO.

          That’s weird and creepy and not rooted in reality.

          Understand that nothing you say can make her feel much better, because what she wants is to still be pregnant and have a beautiful and healthy baby.

          Just tell her you love her and you’re supportive of her. Encourage her to seek out a perinatal mental health specialist.

        2. FWIW, I would never say that to someone else. I don’t think that it would be comforting. If they did genetic testing after a D&C, they may know things like the sex of the baby and some conditions. I had two m/c. I only did testing after the second one (when I got the “habitual aborter” label added to my chart — talk about a not-helpful term). It was a boy with a trisomy condition that likely would have caused a spontaneous m/c in the second trimester and was incompatible with living (although it can exist in a mosaic form). Either they know this or they don’t but the provider who did the testing can likely refer them to a competent provider to discuss the science should they wish to do so (and perhaps they have). I wish that we as humans were more prepared to know that these things happen routinely and yet are devastating. Women particularly deserve much more than the whispers we get and men deserve to understand the science when it happens to their loved one. It would be better for it not to be so much after the fact or never done when you are grieving.

      2. Yes, I think it’s about whether someone feels like they took any unnecessary risks. But guilt and what ifs are common in any grieving process.

    2. I will say to the extent that age increases the risk of all complications, I hope she is talking to good doctors. There are options short of IVF (and IVF has its own stressors, which I wouldn’t wish on anyone or expect them to blithely choose just because they exist) that I hope they are both aware of.

      2. Reading this I wondered the same thing. His wife is 40 but he’s anti IVF? And he already has his own kids? Either he’s uninformed about reproduction or he isn’t invested in having a baby. Given his age I’m guessing it’s the latter. In your position I’d focus on making sure Brother knows he isn’t doing SIL any favors by giving her false hope.

          1. I think that still falls into the not invested in having a baby category. His wife is 40 and already suffered a miscarriage so being against IVF, for whatever reason, means he’s throwing up his hands and knows it’s unlikely that she’ll carry a baby. He’s rejecting their most realistic shot at a kid.

          3. Some of my more evangelical relatives are vocally anti-IVF, FWIW. Various Protestant sorts.

          4. 3:38, since when has the Catholic Church changed its stance on IVf being a mortal sin?

        2. IDK — I feel that science can only offer you so much. I got married late and knew that my options even with IVF would be A) expensive, B) emotionally taxing, and C) not guaranteed, any one of which is a reason not to pursue it. I fee like so many people spend a lot of money chasing hope, which can be very emotionally devastating when maybe it just gets you more losses and crazy hormones. My first pregnancy was a loss and I really did not want to get back on the horse, with IVF or otherwise. I tried and it just wasn’t in the cards.

          1. OTOH, he could be the guy just adding pressure on his wife to do everything possible to deliver up a baby, as if she can just conjure one up. So at least he’s not that.

          3. Or he knows it’s burdensome particularly on the woman, and not a guarantee. I don’t think you can jump from “He doesn’t want a kid *the most* and isn’t willing to give up whatever his objection to IVF is” to “He doesn’t want more kids, end of story”. IVF is a big deal.

    4. I have not had a miscarriage, but I did have a difficult/traumatic birth with my baby, and yes I have 100% struggled with the concept of it being my fault. That if I had just “been better” at birth, there would not have been the infection, the fever, the tachycardia. Even though my baby was 100% healthy and had no complications (I, on the other hand, had many), I still struggle with this idea. It has been 13 months.

    5. not totally relevant but – my child is autistic which is almost definitely genes (F you RFK) but i still wonder if it’s anything that i did.

      (and no I did not take Tylenol)

    6. I am currently going through my second missed miscarriage of 2025 at 41 yo so I feel uniquely qualified to answer this question: There’s nothing you can say to ease her pain. The friends who have helped the most have simply shown up, listened without judgment, and provided me with the space or means to do something I enjoy. My husband’s aunt told me yesterday that if I had “simply stopped lifting” I would have avoided this miscarriage. It’s very easy to say the wrong thing.

      I would send her a gift card for an activity she enjoys and let her know you’re there for her.

      1. I’m also going through a missed misscarriage right now at 40, my second in the last few months. Agree with all of this .

        While people talk a lot about the pain of miscarriage, what I didn’t appreciate enough when I had friends etc going through it was how drawn out it can be when you are in it. For me it’s been nearly a month between hearing the baby may not be viable and having a D&C. And then it may be another couple of months before hormone levels decrease and we can try again. I’m at peace with the pregnancy not progressing but having to have all the tests, scans, appointments, take time off work etc to deal with it, and be pregnant but waiting for your baby to die, is miserable.

        Personally it helps that I’ve accepted that what will be will be and it’s out of my hands but I don’t think many others have that view.

  5. To circle back to a conversation from earlier in m the month. I made a point of making a Christmas gift list with exact links to items and I still got crappy @maz0n dupes. I really wish we would stop the gift nonsense.

    1. My teen nieces seemed to have moved away from Shein and Temu to Brandy Melville. IDK if that’s a win though.

    2. if your family is open to it, what about starting an experience gift tradition? that way you have to coordinate in advance – like asking for tickets to a specific performance.

      1. This is what my partner and I have done. Instead of buying gifts, we take trips. Over the years we have also shifted toward this model with his family. We now do just stocking stuffers (with a price limit) and pick an event/dinner/etc that we’ll all do together instead.

        YMMV, but we all get along well, and live local so it makes things way less stressful.

    3. Same! I’d love to exchange 2-3 gifts with my parents/sibling and be done. I got a dutch oven, which was a total surprise, from my parents which I’m very excited about, and a few other nice gifts but most of it is really unnecessary.

    4. We gave links to my MIL for art supplies (me) and a three-pack of t-shirts and a long-sleeved shirt for my husband (otherwise she goes crazy with gifts we don’t want and won’t use). I wanted one art board – she got me three and she got my husband 11 shirts. 11?!

    5. If you’re close enough to someone to send them a gift list with exact links, I think you’re close enough to say that you just want a gift card to X retailer so you can pick out your own presents and/or to say that the biggest gift would be to skip gifts altogether.

      1. the problem is that my parents WANT to give us gifts. I’ve tried suggesting no gifts, unsuccessfully, for the last several years. It’s sweet (and they follow my list and don’t go overboard), but still not what I want.

      2. I’ve tried no gifts/gift cards before and they get very angry at me for ‘ruining the holidays’. Which is why I tried the list.

        2. It was worth a shot. And now you know to keep expectations even lower than before.
          Buy yourself the thing you want, and give them a cheap list of consumables that can be duped without too much awfulness – scented candles, coffee table books, couth throw and can be given to a homeless shelter or goodwill without regret.

        3. I guess my point is just that if you are having the conversation in the first place, I think you can also say ‘hey, I want this exact thing from this exact place” or come up with some other viable alternative that would work for both of you.

          1. I’m with the OP. My MIL asks for links. She gets them and with each link, a little sentence about why this specific version of the item is asked for. Like, a link to Under Armour shorts, with size and color specified, because they are “DS’s favorite fit.” What shows up? Adidas shorts that “also have pockets! and I liked this color better!” and are unreturnable because she cut all identifying material off the label.

            My BIL and his wife successfully stopped exchanging gifts with them, but DH knows how much pleasure it brings his mom to shop – even though she’s not very good at it – so we donate most of those gifts for the sake of that.

    6. There are some people who are just enamored with cheap crap. They think that if you’re asking for a Williams-Sonoma spatula, you will be just as happy with a box of IKEA spatulas. They just don’t understand that you want the one that lasts for thirty years.

      This tends to be something that the older generation loves (because they didn’t have cheap crap growing up), and the younger generation (because they aren’t sick of replacing crappy items a dozen times).

      1. This is so my in-laws. To them, a bunch of junky things > one nice thing. They are boomers with an enormous house so they can store 15 sets of china or whatnot.

      2. This is why I still get on with my sister in law. She has a gift list. It’s wonderful.

        I did call her out on the $600 sweater and her reply was great. She said everyone can join together to buy me that.

    1. That’s awesome and I just ordered it. I had an accordion-pleated brown pleather skirt from Ann Taylor that I wore for about ten years until it actually disintegrated one day in the car on the way to a meeting. (Had to turn around and go home and change!) This will be a great replacement!

    2. May I ask your shoe plans for this skirt? That’s the thing that always trips me up!

      1. Good question. I’m thinking boots, pumps, or loafers, depending on the occasion. Maybe sneakers.

  7. It is wild to suggest this skirt, leather + a slit, could be worn in an office. And I’m one to push the boundaries!

    1. The top of the slit isn’t that high vs where a normal skirt might stop though. It’s not interview attire, to be sure, but not even in my top 10 bad work outfits I’ve seen. It appears to be the right size for the model. I’m not seeing a belly button. IDK if the person has a bra on (and I shouldn’t know this, but sometimes I’ve seen nap dresses in the office clearly needing a hoik). I could go on. Compared to dragging hem pajamas (have people not seen the mystery wetness on airport and airplane bathroom floors???) on airplanes, it seems slightly formal because the waist appears fitted and the outfit is intentional (vs something a person literally rolled out of bed in).

      1. At Chicos or Talbots, they probably have a flannel or tartan version of this. Leather / “leather” is almost a yawn now. IDK what I’d do to even try to be edgy in 2025/2026.

    3. I don’t necessarily think it’s unprofessional, but I associate the style with the most unhinged person I have ever met so I have a viscerally bad reaction to the look

        1. Well she accused me of being an alcoholic to our superiors because I have a medical condition that makes me a little wobbly (you have to really be looking to notice).

          I was offered a fellowship situation where I worked 2 days for prestigious org and 3 days my regular job, she replied to prestigious org saying she would be taking the fellowship, they then had to explain it was for ME because I’m the expert, so she reported me to executives for ‘undermining her’.

          Our stakeholders picked up that she was absolutely insane so they only ever contacted me, which she then took to HR and called ‘bullying’ (I’m sorry lady our stakeholders have no obligation to talk to you).

          Eventually she was fired but it was a traumatizing experience.

    4. There is a trick to wearing a leather skirt in the office, but I don’t know what it is. It always looks either ren faire or dom when I try it. One of the partners in my office wears a leather skirt occasionally, and it looks really sharp. She’s in her 60s, has a more rectangular body shape, and always pairs it with a chunky crew neck sweater.

      I think this might be the form-fitting turtleneck of the bottoms world. If you have curves, and the item in question is accentuating those curves, then it’s not going to read office appropriate.

    5. Leather skirts have been office attire for decades at this point. I got one at Ann Taylor in 2005. I can absolutely see this styled for the office, particularly on women in senior roles.

      2. Yes – I think this is appropriate for the office but could read as a Lot of Look(tm), and like a lot of bolder pieces, it probably reads as more appropriate on a more senior person.

        That said, I’m in my mid-40s and work in a pretty traditional area. I wouldn’t bat an eye at this on a coworker provided that it fit and was styled for work (i.e. with an appropriate top and/or jacket).

    6. It is wild to suggest that “an office” has the same rules/customs/expectations across the board.

      This would be fine where I work.

  8. What furniture brands are a notch or two above Ballard Designs? Our mall has them now, but I feel like maybe I’d like something more long-lived for upholstered furniture. We have gotten leather and cloth pieces from the Comfortable Couch Company before (recommended here), but I don’t want 100% of my house to look like it came from one place in the 2020s, if that makes sense. I like the Ballard look and don’t have quite the Lee Industries budget (what I hear is very top of the line). I get my wood pieces at various consignment stores but my allergies are bad enough that anything upholstered I get new.

    1. Try Room and Board to see if you like their pieces. If you want leather, American Leather makes the R and B leather sofas and have more transitional looks.

      1. Ethan Allen used to be high end and excellent quality decades ago, but now it’s just tat with a high price tag.

    4. The BD upholstered chairs are actually great and if you get the protection plan (i assume they still offer) they will literally replace anything you stain.

    6. Go custom. Totally worth it. Small, local makers are the only people making furniture worth buying anymore.

      1. 100% agree. I’m the person who replied to the Ethan Allen recommendation. I purchased the very best quality I could find in EA and returned it because it was a complete rip off. For the same money, I was able to get custom made furniture from a local craft team. It was a few years ago, but look locally and you might still find some gems.

    7. I also have allergies, so I bought a vintage piece and had it reupholstered. They took the sofa down to its springs, replaced them, refilled it, and covered it in the custom fabric I chose. Is it cheap? No, but I have a quality made nearly 100 year old couch.

  9. Related to the gift question above: does anyone else just get really stressed out by the stuff and the prospect of storing and organizing it all? I have a brain that wants to be in a clear organized space, but the prospect of organizing clutter is always really hard for me. Harder than it should be. Like I want an organized house but it feels mentally difficult and physically draining to go through everything. So when my sweet family buys us stuff it feels like a gut punch and a set back and a burden. I tried to ask them to stop and it was nearly relationship with ending but why am I so bad at the organization piece? Is this just a me thing?

    1. I am great at the organizing piece, but mainly because I try to only own things that we use. So gifts of more things stresses me out in the same way that I think you’re describing. When I’m given gifts, I immediately wonder what I’m going to do with the item, where will it go, what I may need to get rid of to make space for the new thing, etc. Which means that, for me, the solution is often to not keep the new thing because I don’t want it and it just creates stress. I have moved beyond the guilt I once had that the person spent money on it to buy it. People who know me know that I love experience gifts and hate physical gifts and what I generally do with physical gifts. So if they keep giving the physical gifts, the wasted money is on them.

      1. This exactly. Why would you organize and keep stuff you don’t want and won’t use?

    2. I have a lot of environmental guilt with gifts. The labor of responsibly disposing of things I don’t want is such a huge burden. Giving stuff away on marketplace is such a PITA and lots of charities throw stuff out (which I’m not going to artificially absolve myself of guilt).

      1. It’s still trash and an environmental problem if you keep it in your house instead of getting rid of it.

    3. I donate or sell anything I don’t want in my home. My MIL – despite asking for and receiving wish lists with links to specific items – always spends at least $50 on stuff that she would love in her house or that represent memories she *thinks* are meaningful to DH, like a 3D frame box designed to display his HS & college running medals, which he could not GAF about and are in a box in the attic somewhere. Sold that s-cker on eBay.

    4. It’s not just you!

      This year, I did some pre-holiday season decluttering. It was so successful that I want to make it an annual thing. It was a relief to have places available to house new stuff.

    5. Not just you! This advice is from my 90 year old neighbor, who recoiled slightly when he saw my cluttered house… donate things you don’t use, if you think someone else would find it useful. If not, throw it out. Also when buying new things, throw out the things it’s replacing. I took his advice on board and it’s been life changing. E.g. I used to keep old coats and shoes for gardening etc but now I donate when they’re replaced. Crappy company t shirts are repurposed into rags for around the house then thrown out. Etc. It’s super hard to get started, so I started very slowly then got momentum!

    6. I think it’s more about knowing what organized means to you. I don’t have a house that is magazine curated all the time, because that is not appealing to me. But I do keep my clothes and shoes to whatever limit of physical storage I currently have and donate the rest. I also don’t put things other than the seasonal gardening tools in the basement (and nothing in the attic) because I think once you start storing junk everywhere that’s when it feels like chaos. But I do have things around that I enjoy seeing.

    7. I give myself permission to immediately get rid of gifts I don’t want. Sometimes they are good for regifting, other times I can return or sell the item. Outside of those options, if it’s not actual garbage I donate it. My sanity and mental energy are worth enough to me to avoid stressing over what to do with the unwanted stuff.

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