Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Classic Button-Front Shirt
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I ordered this classic button-up from Old Navy on a whim when I was refreshing my workout apparel during a recent sale. (P.S. If you’re in the market for activewear, these longline sports bras keep disappearing from my closet and magically appearing in my teenage daughter’s room, which feels like a pretty solid endorsement.)
I had pretty low expectations, but this 100% cotton shirt really knocked it out of the park. The fabric is so light and breezy, I know it will be great for the sweltering summer days ahead. It comes in nine colorways and Old Navy’s wide range of sizes, so there’s something for everyone.
The shirt, which is now on sale, starts at $14.99 and comes in sizes XS-3X, XST-XXLT, and XSP-XXLP.
Sales of note for 5/15:
- Nordstrom – 3800+ items in “new markdowns” — I kind of wonder if they've started marking down stuff for their Half-Yearly sale that usually starts the week before Memorial Day. Good deals on Veronica Beard, Vince, Reiss (esp. coats), as well as Wit & Wisdom and NYDJ
- Alexis Bittar – Vault sale! 100s of re-issued archival styles up to 70% off, plus 25% off all full-price styles too
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Boden – Up to 50% off with new styles added
- J.Crew – 40% off your purchase and 50% off dresses
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 50% off clearance + extra 20% off orders over $125
- Lands' End – Up to 60% off sitewide + extra 60% off sale and clearance
- Loft – 50% off your purchase, and 5/15 only: take 60% off the LOFT Versa collection
- Mango – Weekend exclusive, 30% off everything, and free shipping with $260+
- M.M.LaFleur – Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Supergoop – 20% off sitewide + free Glow Stick (also, free shipping with $50+)
- Talbots – Extra 40% +15% off all markdowns, plus Summer Fridays One Day Sale (5/15), $19.50 pocket tees and $29.50 relaxed chino shorts.
- Theory – 25% off sitewide
- TOCCIN – 30% off select items with code! (You can't stack codes, but on full price items try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off!)
- Vivrelle – Looking to own less stuff but still try trends? Use code CORPORETTE for a free month, and borrow high-end designer clothes and bags!

Ugh, in a meeting with some folks I’ve never met before. Some guy gives his usual professional intro whatever then says ‘in my free time I’m a proud gay dad and advocate for fertility access’. FERTILITY ACCESS this man just announced he feels entitled to rent wombs to a whole conference room. It’s too early in a Friday for this nonsense.
That’s a euphemism that is doing a lot of heavy lifting.
I think about this story a lot:
https://www.wired.com/story/the-baby-died-whose-fault-is-it-surrogate-pregnancy/
Both surrogates’ experiences are horrifying here. And this is in the US.
Do you have a gift link or a version that isn’t behind a paywall? That headline is terrifying.
This explains part of what went on:
https://healthjournalism.org/blog/2025/09/inside-an-unregulated-industry-how-one-reporter-covered-a-surrogacy-tragedy/
Screenshots:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1n9jall/cindy_bi_a_venture_capitalist_hired_a_surrogate/
I think about this story and what’s going to happen when those kids grow up:
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2026/02/16/the-babies-kept-in-a-mysterious-los-angeles-mansion
While it doesn’t seem like there’s much political will (at least in the US) to outlaw surrogacy, some kind of regulation might be helpful.
No, it’s the Cindy Bi story of a woman who had a genetic predisposition to having a foetus that causes maternal haemorrhage, contracted with surrogates, didn’t tell them that, and sued them when things went wrong (ie baby died and mother almost died).
Oh I thought of this exact article too.
I think surrogacy needs to be done freely, without payment, like organ donation.
This is interesting, i like that approach best of all the surrogacy ones I’ve heard. Paying for the medical care, but not the baby. It takes out the predatory options and leaves the beautiful feel-good surrogacy stories.
is that what fertility access means? I would have interpreted the term slightly differently, but I don’t know specifically…
It’s too early on Friday for your made up pot stirring too and yet here we are.
Amen.
Well technically he is because it’s not illegal. (Ahem, because it’s Friday and why not, the same way people feel entitled to take poorly considered left hand turns that inconvenience whole lanes of traffic.)
Uh, maybe it’s a left hand turn to get to their destination on the roads as designed? I really don’t get why people get so bent out of shape over this. It’s been mentioned here like five times in the last year.
That is just a really strange thing to announce to a group of professional colleagues.
I feel very conflicted about the notion. My son is gay and would like to have kids someday. And yet … the process to get there can be so fraught. The notion of being an advocate for “fertility access” really turns my stomach. We’re more than wombs, dudes. And yet I also believe gay couples should be able to have families, so.
The process to get there is not fraught. Gay men have kids all the time. They adopt, they foster, and they use surrogates. A thing straight couples and single women and single men also do. Making surrogacy a gay issue is homophobic.
Surrogacy is fraught, sorry you don’t understand why.
Yes, I am aware of all of that. I am specifically talking about surrogacy. I have some really mixed feelings about that.
THANK YOU. Here’s an idea: If you don’t want someone to “rent wombs” as you claim, then don’t do it. But lots of other people believe it is a very noble way to help someone else experience parenthood. All you are doing is proving why this has become a cause that some folks feel they need to champion. And I suspect anyone who is outed on the use of a surrogate has been on the receiving end of a lot of grief. Sorry if others’ lifestyles and choices offend you, but there’s nothing illegal. And frankly, many like me feel nothing shameful here.
Whether it’s illegal depends on where you live.
It is human trafficking. Period.
It is completely illegal in many countries including France. More countries like the UK and Australia prohibit commercial surrogacy.
I got reamed for a comment saying no woman is “entitled” to a vaginal birth. What I meant was no one is guaranteed a trauma-free birth (please come after me again). I will say the same thing about children for gay couples and couples with infertility: no one is guaranteed a child or a healthy child. (I have 2 disabled adult kids myself). If health or life choices make it impossible to have bio kids, it doesn’t make it someone else’s job to provide them. I’m sorry. Life is hard and we don’t always get what we want.
(Bad wording on my part, above. I’m not saying being gay is a life choice. But some gay people choose to have bio kids with people of the opposite sex; whether that’s ethical or not depends on the circumstances, if deception is involved, etc. I’m ready for the reaming, I deserve it this time).
Response to my own comment above is in mod – I shouldn’t have implied being gay is a life choice.
+ 1M to that last sentence
Yes. U.S. cursed infertiles know we aren’t guaranteed a child.
I also have mixed feelings about this guy’s comment. I know straight married couples who pursued surrogacy after expensive, invasive rounds of IVF failed or they suffered a stillbirth. In those situations the woman desperately wants to carry her own child, she’s suffered trauma while attempting it, and she understands what she’s asking of a surrogate. A gay man loudly proclaiming he deserves access to a woman’s body feels icky, even if I think surrogacy should be a legal option for him.
Yes, this is a better way of putting it.
Agree
Ugh, I hate that. It’s devastating to not be able to have a biological child when you want one (and I’m not in the “they can just adopt” camp – it’s not that simple). But nothing gives you a “right” to a woman’s biological capacity to gestate a baby.
I wonder how many people who are pro-surrogacy have read through a contract or seen the process go sideways. What is it like to sign away your autonomy and your health and ability to sue for recourse?
Hi – I have posted about this before and I not inclined to wade into these waters again but I have known two women who acted as gestational surrogates (one for her sister and another for a gay couple she was friends with). Neither felt that they signed away their autonomy or their health and both were capable and competent adults, one of whom has FEELINGS about random strangers who feel qualified to second guess her decisions.
And your friend (whose experience is positive, that is great) does not speak for the women with negative experiences as surrogates.
And neither do you, which is the point.
….I would hear that as he’s trying to expand infertility coverage options on the work health insurance plan, which mostly redounds to benefit women.
That’s also how I would interpret this statement.
It’s not really clear. Seems like an odd thing to announce in such a big meeting.
Right?
Depends on the meeting context, doesn’t it?
Then again, what a discussion it provokes!
That’s what I thought.
That was my first thought and that context here seems really lacking with a lot of assumptions.
I don’t know I’d be offended by this. Is he saying he thinks surrogacy should be legal? Assuming he also wants it be safe and equitable why is this terrible? Fwiw my besties’ sister was a surrogate for her and her husband’s child and it was, in my eyes and theirs, a beautiful thing. Is “fertility access” about forcing women to have gay men’s babies? i feel like that’s a jump but please let me know where im ignorant here.
On the other hand, I’m extremely pro choice so if someone said, for instance, that they advocate for pro life causes I’d be disgusted. Those are the people that I feel are demanding access to our bodies.
To me it’s a lot like living organ donation. We can enthusiastically celebrate the people who take on the risks of donating a kidney on a voluntary basis (much like how your BFF’s sister volunteered for a loved one), while still preserving safeguards against wealthy people just straight up buying kidneys from poor strangers.
Pregnancy is also just so high risk that adequate safeguards are hard to put in place (it’s one thing to be able to afford a surrogate when everything goes well, but when things go wrong?).
Thank you. So, reading between the lines, is there something about “fertility access” that’s more like the rich buying a kidney than the person donating it?
Without a background in this phrase or movement it’s unclear to me why OP thought this man was “demanding access” to women’s bodies. Or is “fertility access” always about paid surrogacy and thereby to the OP’s eyes always exploitative? I’m
not totally understanding, because even if paid surrogacy is always exploitative, for the sake of argument, I’m not sure how that’s demanding access to women’s wombs generally. S*x work is often exploitative but it’s not necessarily demanding access so much as allowing someone to sell access. I’m persuaded by your analogy that it’s more like exploitative selling of organs than forced birth.
It’s because OP is overreacting.
So are you extremely pro choice for everyone, or just people who didn’t sign surrogacy contracts?
I’m not sure if this is meant to be a “gotcha” question.
To answer your question sincerely, I’m not sure to what extent you can or should be able to contract away your ab@ration rights after voluntarily entering into a surrogacy contract. I’m pretty certain you should be able to contact them away in certain, but not all circumstances. I don’t pretend to know where that line is but certainly legalized paid surrogacy becomes more dangerous and problematic as women’s rights are stripped by pro life government and groups. To be clear, other than my friend’s experience I don’t have terribly strong conviction or first hand experience with surrogacy.
What are your thoughts on this? Surely the possibility of legalized surrogacy is not the biggest threat to women’s reproductive freedom right now, right? In other words, why is there more concern for the rights women carrying a surrogate baby, who has presumably voluntarily consented to become pregnant and carry to term in writing, than the rest of us who haven’t?
I think you don’t need a pro-life government to take away your rights if you sign them away, and this is a huge safety issue with existing contracts.
Basically it’s simply not safe and equitable.
You have it backward. Respectfully, you still need a pro choice government even if some women voluntarily contract their rights away.
Of course. But a pro choice government doesn’t fix a pro life contract.
Right. Being pro-life and anti-surrogacy makes sense from a natural law standpoint (although not necessary from a libertarian standpoint); her stance doesn’t make sense on any axis I can figure out.
I know some religious groups are pro-life and anti-surrogacy, but there’s a lot of surrogacy romanticization and recruitment efforts in other religious pro-life circles.
It is illegal or restricted in many pro-choice countries like Norway and Australia.
I think it is weird to announce your opinions on reproductive issues in a meeting when you introduce yourself.
I would feel the same about most topics, honestly. And why do we signal parenthood like that? You can just say you like spending time with your family.
Never have I been compelled to introduce myself as “I’m a mom of a x year old and volunteer for xyz women’s org” in a first meeting.
If they want some personal intro, I will usually say that I like tending to my garden, do origami, do arts or crafts or play an instrument. More personal info might come in later meetings, but why can’t we keep it light when we just meet people?
Truly. No one needs to know so much about you.
I don’t think of mentioning a spouse/kids as unusually personal for an intro (although the risks of meeting pigeonholed as “a mom” tend to be greater for women than men who intro themselves as dads). It’s the introduction of politics that’s unprofessional. (Ie. Man: “I’m enjoying exploring the city with my husband & our three kids”. Or “My husband and I have triplet six year olds, so right now my only hobbies are driving places and trying not to step on Legos!” is a perfectly fine “say something about yourself” intro.
Yeah, it’s akin to a straight woman’s introducing herself in a business meeting as “a proud mom and advocate for women’s reproductive autonomy.”
Also nine times out of ten someone who calls themself an “advocate” does nothing more than going around spouting off about their personal views. When you have a full-time job working on the issue or spend a lot of time volunteering to actually DO something substantive about it instead of just holding up signs, then maybe you can call yourself an advocate. Even among people who have legitimate jobs as advocates on a particular issue, billing oneself an “advocate” is usually a signal that the person is obnoxious, self-righteous, and difficult to work with.
Thank you – I feel the exact same and it feels like a relief that someone else here does too.
I agree with this.
Sorry – surrogacy aside, why is it necessary for him to announce his sex life to his co-workers? I don’t care what you do in the bedroom – please keep it out of the conference room for all of our sakes.
That’s insane. You get to talk about your husband but if he also has a husband it’s announcing his bedroom activities? This feels like extremely old fashioned homophobia.
Yikes if you’re seriously reducing orientation this way.
Yikes!
Maybe unpopular but I agree. I would never announce “I’m married to a man” in a work meeting.
You might if it were something you’d only achieved by advocacy in living memory? Even as it is, there are probably tells.
Sure, maybe, but I’m a very private person and simply can’t imagine announcing anything like that. I don’t think my coworkers even know that my mother died (before my time there) and I’ve been at my current job for almost 10 years.
Or “I am a proud heterosexual “!
I promise there are dozens of ways people announce this in other words. Maybe you don’t, but it’s common and pervasive.
(And in my opinion, fine, even if I’m more private!)
This is straight up homophobia nonsense.
It seems bizzare to announce this in a meeting. I don’t take offense to what he said because it’s unclear what he meant (maybe he is against folks who want to enact laws that would prohibit him from ever using surrogacy because of his sexual orientation?) But my thought is that if you want to announce this in front of everyone, “you do you.”
Very bizarre. Whatever your views on surrogacy, announcing anything that is so personal or so political, let alone so much of both, when you first meet people signals that you are A Lot. This guy is always going to put himself, his views, his feelings, and hogging credit for himself above collaboration and getting the work done.
IME this is also the person who gets SUPER surprised to learn I’m not a conservative just because I shop at Talbots and don’t talk about my political views much, if at all.
Haha, exactly.
And to think we debated for months (years?) whether a water bottle was professional.
You know, I’m about to head into (yet another) round of IVF and have just really appreciated my workplace being free of fertility conversations. Happy to hear about people’s families (my boss has a newborn), but having someone signal that they wanted to have conversations about actual fertility at random in a large group setting in the middle of my work day would be a lot for me to handle right now. I would think that a compassionate and skilled advocate would have a better level of awareness re: the sensitivity and pervasiveness of it all.
That’s interesting. I have a five year age gap between my kids for reasons having zero to do with fertility. People, mostly women, want to discuss their (and my!) fertility all.the.time when they here that my kids have such a gap. I get that it looks like we went through this but we didn’t and it’s so awkward.
Not the commenter you’re responding to but I’m going through IVF. Sometimes I want to talk about it, but sometimes I REALLY don’t. If women bring up fertility with you it may be presumptuous but it’s on their terms. I don’t see it as mutually exclusive with the other commenter’s preference.
The workplace is somewhere I 100% never want to discuss fertility. I don’t know how I’d hold it together if I had to constantly brace myself for fertility discussions at work. The fact that this man can’t understand why it’s insensitive to raise the topic is part of the reason his comments are abrasive.
He also just announced that he is not going to get put in front of clients, funders, or executives.
When someone makes pronouncements like this it just signals to me he has poor judgment.
Bingo.
Or maybe it signals that some of the nasty views here about his family were already expressed to his face too many times.
Nobody expressed nasty views about his family (or even about voluntary surrogacy).
It’s simply not appropriate to introduce yourself in a business meeting with an aggressive statement on a social or political issue, no matter what issue that is or which side you are on, unless the meeting is about that issue. Context matters, and a person who doesn’t understand that is not the person that I will choose to represent my organization and our work.
Such poor judgment. I have a completely normal hobby that takes up a lot of time outside of work. I don’t share that with new work acquaintances because it might make people think I have the personality stereotypically associated with the hobby or that I care more about the hobby than I do about work. Both of these things may actually be true, but I’m smart enough not to go around broadcasting them. I am very good at my job, and I don’t want outside information to get in the way of people’s noticing that.
Um, you also probably don’t have strangers asking you randomly about it the way a gay man with a child frequently does. It’s usually adoption or surrogacy after all.
Someone who has a child the usual way does not advertise it in their first formal introduction in a big meeting. Why should a gay man who apparently had a child through a surrogate be any different?
If a woman announced that she were a mom in this context I would question her judgment–why is she talking about parenting when we are just meeting her at work? If a straight man announced that he were a dad I would assume he was virtue-signaling–look at me! I am a family man and so reliable! If someone announced in this context that they were an advocate for feral cats I would think they were a weirdo with no filter.
His advocacy would exclude my associate who has just returned from having a stillbirth.
I’m very protective of women’s rights and this man has just completely disrespected the right for women to have a professional environment where they don’t need to talk, think or hear about fertility.
Can you tell that to all the brands sending me emails and the grocery store workers and wait staff who feel the need to wish me happy Mother’s Day now?
This behavior is pretty typical in social justice jobs. Clout is gained by loudly claiming to be a member of and/or an advocate for an oppressed group, even if it has nothing to do with the job. It drives me bonkers.
In a normal job, it marks this guy as an oversharer with terrible judgment.
An appreciation: little black cats. Elegant, chic, tidy. Stunning eyes. The best accessory for any home. Playful. Loving. Luxurious. Plush.
Yes.
Yes. Also, tuxedo cats. So elegant, regal, and always dressed for the occasion.
So mouthy and precious!
I have a tuxedo kitten. Highly recommend.
And like too many men in tuxedos, ours was a mean drunk on catnip.
Haha, my tux is objectively bad, but I love him 😻
My tuxedo cat keeps putting his favorite toy on my bed for me to play with. So sweet.
Yes! Any cat really lol
Yes. My neighborhood has a few different households with seal point cats that are just works of art to me.
All my cats have been different forest cat types (large, very fluffy), but I do think there’s something about a sleek short haired cat that really shows off their catness.
Siberian owner here too! I their fluffy pantaloons.
Totally agree. Wish I wasn’t so allergic :-(
Would love to add the excellence of the orange cat: audacious & bold.
With only a single brain cell bopping around the whole thing – adorable!
Exactly!
I’m here for this appreciation post.
Meanwhile, my Orange Lady fell into an open washing machine last night. She’s fine; there was a pile of towels to break her fall, but Cat Dad had to rescue the poor dear. This morning she was back to her antics and attempted to sit on the handles of my spin bike.
Speaking of orange cats, I lived with one that really wanted to walk on the molding around doorways. I have no idea why he thought that was a possible thing to do!
He was a master of walking on the backs of dining table chairs though.
My orange lady is a regal, proper-looking cat, until she gets up to her shenanigans! I love her, though.
I love my orange with my whole heart, but my anxiety is so high when he does stupid stuff and endangers himself.
So chic. And cunning! Ours tricked his owners into feeding him two breakfasts this morning.
My friend has a trio of black kittens and they are so gorgeous and ridiculous and adorable.
Oh my! So cute.
This is the kind of thread I’m here for. My tuxedo kittens are turning 9 years old today 🥺
Happy cat birthday to them!
Happy Kittiversary!
How transferable are management skills?
By education/training I’m a data scientist. But I’ve been in a management role for a few years and absolutely love it. It’s a great fit for my personality and skillset, and I’m a strong manager overall. My department has grown and multiple people have moved on to my team from other teams.
I work at a medium sized company, and at some point the only “promotion” for me would be to get a new job since I’m towards the top here. I think my management skills would apply to multiple industries, but its usually better for a manager to actual know the job too. Do I mainly look for other data science management roles? Would I be eligible for more strategic roles? Because I’m at a smaller company a lot of what I do is general business strategy, not 100% data focused.
Depends on how senior you are. At the csuite level, extremely. First level manager, not really.
One level below csuite
Do you think you’d like to be at another small company next, or move to a big one?
I think a bigger one for more growth opportunities.
Small company –> big company transitions imo value the domain specific work a lot more, in my experience. At a large company, your experience is likely going to translate to manager or senior manager, and at that level they are really going to expect you to both a) coach the people you manage on domain-specific things and b) be the “voice of data science” in leadership meetings.
If you want to get out of date science, a big company will give you lots more opportunities to shuffle around/take on managing other random teams, etc, but do that after you get hired as data science manager.
I’m making a trip to the Mall of America this month while at a conference. I’ve never been. Two questions: 1. anything I should see/do? I hear it’s more than ‘just’ a mall! 2. I wear wide width shoes and would love to try on rather than just order/return online. Any stores there, or other spots in MSP, that have a lot of wide width in stock?
There’s a theme park and a tiny aquarium but otherwise it’s pretty much just a mall. It’s really not that exciting especially if you’re not there with kids.
Yeah, it’s really not worth a trip. It’s just a really big mall with the usual assortment of mall stores. If there are particular stores you’re interested in that aren’t in your area you might check to see if they’re there or elsewhere in MSP then I’d do that.
I went as a tween who enjoyed shopping, and even then remember thinking the amusement park was way more fun than the stores.
I did this a couple of years ago when I was there for a conference. My 90s-kid heart kinda enjoyed the theme park because I remember what a big deal it was when the mall was built. But I was honestly let down by the mall itself…I was hoping for a mall that resembled those of my youth, back when malls were The Place. It was just kinda blah, though it does have a Nordstrom (which I don’t have locally) AND a Rack (which we do have locally, but this had a better selection) in the same mall.
as a local – it really is just a mall (esp for adults) unless you want to be able to say you rode a rollercoaster inside a mall for example haha. I would just focus on looking at the directory for stores you don’t normally have easy access to. If you’re in the area, both southdale & the galleria are about 10 min away and have a lot of designer stores (for MN at least)
I think the other malls are better for actual shopping.
While I don’t believe I have a drinking problem, I would like to change my drinking habits. Most days, I don’t drink at all and when I do drink it’s mostly a beer or two at happy hour. However, maybe once a month or so I’ll go out on a weekend and have several drinks. I don’t necessarily love who I am after several drinks (nothing bad, but I don’t like being uninhibited). After more than a few drinks, I also sleep terribly and get truly awful “hangxiety”. So, I have realized that more than a few drinks is just not for me.
However, once I start feeling a little uninhibited, I have really bad self control and will so easily agree (or suggest!) another round. And so this is where I struggle.
I considered just stopping drinking all together, but I don’t really want to. It’s just so ingrained in my social life, first dates, etc.
Make a rule for yourself no more than two (or no more than three, whatever your number is) drinks and always always follow it.
To follow this rule you will have to go a bit against the grain – i.e. not having a drink at dinner with friends if you’re going to a bar after, or skipping a round etc. but it is so worth it.
+1. After you finish a drink tell yourself you need to wait 15 minute before ordering another. Give it a chance to kick in and make sure you’re not moving to the next drink on autopilot.
On dates get a high volume drink instead of something served up or on the rocks. When you’re feeling awkward you sip more.
This. Give yourself a hard stop at two.
This is just, like, the worst advice ever. Have you ever been drunk before?
If “plan to stop after 2” isn’t working for you, can you add something concrete instead of “stop”: Plan to go home after 2 (via Uber!); plan to drink a Pepsi lite after 2, plan to order XYZ NA cocktail after 2 (and the key is picking a specific NA thing on the menu that looks appealing before you order anything at all) etc?
This is a good idea
try the app Reframe – it’s a good one for resetting your ideas around booze.
Do you think it would help to start or alternate with a favorite mocktail?
+1. It sounds like you have trouble stopping once you get going. Why not delay starting?
I used to have a similar issue, no amount of rules helped. The only thing that worked was deciding that I am more important than social cohesion. I value my own health above the comfort of others. Now I probably have 3 drinks a year total.
Check out some of the N/A options out there. There are some really good N/A beers out there that, other than a slight difference in mouth feel, are indistinguishable.
I figured out after plenty of trial and mostly error, that I do not possess the ability to moderate consistently, so I don’t drink. Among my friends who do, alternating with an N/A beer works well for them.
My rule for myself is 1 cocktail and then max 1-2 glasses of wine. I really like trying out new cocktails and seeing what interesting flavors they have, and saying “no cocktails” wasn’t working. But this does. I realized 2 cocktails is what was getting me in trouble (hangover, more drunk than I wanted to be, etc).
This is fine on first dates, parties etc. At a recent wedding I broke this slightly – 2 cocktails, but then maybe 1.5 glasses of wine. No shots with the rest of the bridal party etc. Zero hangover the next day.
Also it can help to go old school and commit to a glass of water or a coke zero or a seltzer between each drink. Some of the drinking is just to have something to do with your hands etc.
Have you tried a time cutoff rather than a number of drinks cutoff? I can still do the occasional Sunday funday and, aside from losing my entire Sunday, I don’t have the same bad sleep and hangxiety that I get from late night outings. I think it’s because Sunday involves lots of food at brunch and time to recover before I need to really sleep. For nighttime outings, I just can’t consume alcohol after ~8-9 pm if I want to sleep well. Cutting off booze that early means I’m not counting drinks or internally negotiating “just one more” but still has the effect of substantially curbing my consumption.
I do this in reverse. I don’t have a drink until I’m at least 1-2 hours into an event. If I have drinks earlier than I just have more time to lower my inhibitions and decide to just have one more.
I guess it depends on at what point you start feeling a little uninhibited so that you won’t follow your own rules to stop drinking. If that is after two drinks, then I would only have one so that you never get to the “little uninhibited” point. If it is after three drinks, then stop at 2 and see if it is easier to hold yourself to your limit.
+1
If you start ignoring your own rules a couple drinks in, you simply can’t get a couple drinks in without expecting that you’re gonna drink more.
this
Quit Like A Woman was a very interesting read for me when I was exploring my relationship with alcohol. I would also gently push back and encourage at least a “dry month”. The social pressure aspect for me was very enlightening and it helped me realize when I was truly wanting a drink vs when I was doing it for other peoples comfort.
A GLP1 will make it incredibly easy for you to cut back or quit.
Honestly just bupropion probably would in this scenario (though it has a contraindication for binge drinking).
+1 to GLP1. I take a teeny tiny dose and I am hard pressed to finish my one glass on wine at dinner.
Mocktails!
I do have problems with drinking so here are my tips
: – order water and a non-alcoholic drink between drinks. By the time you are done with those, you can order a second.
-Order something expensive and savor it
– assuming you can be responsible with this always offer to be the one driving home. I make bad decisions about alcohol consumption sometimes, but never if I’m driving home. That said, if you have any concern at all about your ability to be responsible with this do not do it.
– do not take shots
– stick to beer and wine and do not let people refill your wine glass
Yes, alternate with water!
Fully agree that alternating water helps.
Maybe take a month or two off and reevaluate? You don’t need to stop drinking forever; a month or two off could just be for perspective. (I told my spouse we had to stop drinking wine at home for a few months to see how I feel. We would have a bottle of wine every two months or so and I would somehow have three glasses at dinner, followed by sleeping terribly.)
I have a rule that I must drink two glasses of water for every alcoholic drink (tall glasses; not those little mini water glasses they give you in restaurants). That both cuts way down on the amount I drink and it also helps with the morning-after side effects.
What helped me was the day after one too many cocktails I wrote how I felt i.e. headache, terrible anxiety, tired from lack of sleep and how not feeling 100% made me waste the next day. I wrote maybe a paragraph on each downside and keep it with me. When I consider another drink I pull it out and reread it to remind myself, and get a coke instead.
I’ve only ever used powder blush and know there’s a world of other blush types that I haven’t tried. What’s good for: easy application, natural look, and staying power for someone with combo skin that uses tinted mineral sunscreen as my base layer?
Nars “The Multiple” applies like a dream and looks very natural, but it isn’t the longest-lasting stuff in the world on my combo skin. Setting it with a tiny bit of powder helps.
Glossier Cloud Paint.
I like the ilia blush sticks!
ELF halo glow is so easy
I love Merit’s cream blushes. I have applied with my fingers and with a brush. Blends nicely and has staying power. I also use their tinted mineral sunscreen as my base.
+1
what career advice influencers do you follow for actually good advice? feels like i keep seeing women giving NGDGTCO advice and I check and she has like 100K followers.
The Cabro
Kelly Nolan
I started following @growthincubator recently – I really love how she breaks down the challenges of middle management.
Hmm I just watched a couple of the latest videos but it seemed passive aggressive. I do say a lot of the “if X were honest” things but in a nice way and it completely works.
I think that’s the point. She’s not giving a script to follow, she’s doing a “what I wish I could actually say” approach?
But you can say these things
Maybe it’s helpful for earlier career folks to see examples of what their managers probably think
I do say some things out loud that she characterizes as “wish I could say,” depending on audience. But others it’s just validating to hear someone frame up the struggles in 30-second clips!
I like the Haus Labs blush balm stick. I swipe it on and then blend with a brush.
I know is a threading fail, but this is honestly solid career advice!
Oops! Sorry about that.
I like grace maccarrick a lot. I don’t always agree but that’s what makes it interesting.
I also have no idea what your acronym means so I might be misunderstanding your ask!
Honestly, I deleted instagram (never had TT) and therefore have stopped following influencers, and it’s been a huge win. I’ve never received such amazing advice from one to make being on the socials worth it. If it’s that good, it will trickle down to me eventually.
Gift question- I would like to send my mom some fun makeup for Mother’s Day. I live a few states away, so will have to rely on shipping from the store, instead of making my own cute basket. I was thinking of buying a few things from Nordstrom, that way she can easily return or exchange items. Is there a better way?
I would love to get her a gift set from jones road, but they seem to only sell online and not sure how she could return or exchange.
Are there other gift sets that you have been happy with? She is in her early 70s, medium shade South Asian, and would like a natural, glowy look.
All of the women in my family use Jones Road, and I think my sister managed to find a mini kit last year for my mom with lots of shades in smaller pots. I know some commenters here don’t like it, but we’re fans.
I’m in my 60s, my feed suddenly is full of Jones Road ads and I have been very tempted by the mini kits.
In case anyone else can use this tip, I’ve been mixing a tiny drop of foundation with some BB cream. It is a best both both worlds situation. I get more coverage (and lasting coverage) than wearing just BB cream, but it still looks really soft and natural on my skin. Even in my mid-40s, I have combination skin and find it hard to make BB creams last for a full day, and this feels like a good compromise. Yay to not buying another new product that I will inevitably dislike!
What are your favorite BB creams? I think that would be a great product for me. My skin is on the drier side if that makes a difference.
I did that for a while and now I’ve switched to applying the BB cream and then putting half a dot of foundation on just the parts where I want the extra coverage while the BB cream is still not fully set. It seems to give me better coverage in the places I need it while feeling even lighter than when I was mixing them.
That’s smart, I’ll have to try it!
How do y’all track your gym workouts? I do not want to track food at all, just weights/sets/reps, and cardio time/incline. iOS preferred.
I write it on paper and then eventually grow tired of tracking things. Eventually I decide to start again and the cycle continues.
Honestly I’ve been lazy and not doing it lately. Just lift to 1-2 RIR. But I used my notes ap when I stared. I’d list the exercises when my trainer showed me them along with form notes. Then I’d write down what I did and any questions for our check in session. I’d start a new one every mesocycle.
I’m low tech and all about ease. Anything I can do to keep myself lifting by making it easy is my thing. Learning an app seems like too much work. Dragging a pen and notebook around also seems like too much work.
Oh and I’m not tracking cargo beyond steps and miles.
Pen and paper. Tech is more than I want to futz with when I’m in the middle of a workout.
Same. I don’t have any need for stats or tracking beyond wanting to get a gist of what I’ve done and get the satisfaction of recording it. Pen and a little notebook is great. Plus, an app on my phone is too easy of a draw to look at other things on my phone.
Same
I use Strong for weight workouts. They have some preloaded templates or you can add your own workout template and it’ll track your progress over time for that exercise.
For cardio, mostly my Apple Watch. I still use Runkeeper for outdoor runs.
My Garmin watch / the Connect app.
I did this a couple of years ago when I was there for a conference. My 90s-kid heart kinda enjoyed the theme park because I remember what a big deal it was when the mall was built. But I was honestly let down by the mall itself…I was hoping for a mall that resembled those of my youth, back when malls were The Place. It was just kinda blah, though it does have a Nordstrom (which I don’t have locally) AND a Rack (which we do have locally, but this had a better selection) in the same mall.