Weekend Open Thread: Mattifying Sunscreen

32 Comments

1. if you dermaplane how often do you do it? i tend to only do every 6 weeks but then i worry i’ve got stubble or something.

   1. Probably every few months. I also worry about stubble, but it doesn’t really show on me.

   2. I don’t dermaplane but I thread my eyebrows/lip/chin and I go every 5 weeks. Thanks PCOS!

      1. how much does it cost to do all of that?

         1. $100 including an eyebrow tint and tip. MCOL area and my provider (the owner) rents a suite in a salon so much less than other places I’ve gone.

   3. About every 6 weeks.

   4. This is one of the reasons I only did it once. This shit is a feminist issue…we have enough maintenance as it is, thank you!

   5. I have one of those Michael Todd Sonicsmooth things and I use it probably every two weeks or when I notice my face getting fuzzy again.

2. do you think trump could be forced to pay restitution/or to repay monies he’s taken without going through the proper channels? setting aside whether it will/might happen, COULD it?

   1. This is a historical question for me (during the Biden administration, was it not desirable or not possible?).

      1. 🙄

         1. It’s a bigger question about the Biden administration to be sure.

            1. Whatever helps you sleep at night. May you have the life you deserve.

            2. I am not sure what life I deserve for feeling frustrated that the Biden administration left so much of the damage Trump had done in place (so many saboteur appointees!) and failed to take very obvious steps to help keep him out of office (what do people who yanked away people’s healthcare access during an ongoing pandemic deserve exactly?).

            3. the Epstein scandal is also not encouraging for accountability here

   2. What monies are we talking about here? Like the money he spent on the reflecting pool without Congress having appropriated it for that?

      1. the reflecting pool article today in the NYT is what prompted me to ask the Q but all the other crap he’s done without approval. the ballroom. the entire war. etc.

   3. Trump personally – legally, I think very unlikely given the 2024 supreme court ruling on presidential immunity

      Specific projects or the federal government – yeah, I think it’s possible some of this gets rolled back. It will probably be messy and full of legal wrangling, and a lot of it

      I would like to see some awkward hearings and some good discovery, around bribery/quid pro quo of large corporations “voluntary” “donations” to various Trump “non profits”; but I think the most likely legal target there is the companies, not the president.

      1. How much crypto he and his family are profiting from is going to leave a lot of the grift untraceable I fear.

3. Having a wobble.

   I have a leak. I thought it was fixed. It’s not. Next step is to look at the seal around the window because it looks like the silicon has withered away. There is also the gutters which not able to handle the water that’s coming down during thunderstorms.

   I’m trying to get to September without running out of cash. Caulking the window myself this weekend and praying that’s the fix.

   1. Good luck!

   2. I had an old car years ago which had leaked. Silicone fr ok m a squeeze tube can work as a temp fix, but it’ll probably only last until September and might not be pretty, although it does come in clear which minimises the mess.

4. My parents are mid-70s. My Dad has had serious health conditions and is recently out of the hospital. My mom is in good physical health but is feeling burnt out from taking care of him. I live 2 hours away with elementary age kids. I call often and visited often when he was hospitalized, but my mom insists now she doesn’t want me taking on the burden of caregiving for her/them. Anyone older on this sure have some insight to share on how they managed this? My husband says I am doing the right thing calling and be supportive, but I wonder should 8 actually be present and physically there to support my mom through this? It’s not like an imminent death, just cognitive and physical decline for my dad. I feel guilty but also what else should I be doing right now?

   1. There is a Reddit group, r/agingparents, full of people in this same situation. I’ve learned so much there. This situation is extremely complicated and the personal and financial repercussions of any choice are huge and potentially long-lasting. We have taken over most things for my 94-year-old MIL but I have 3 more in line behind her. It’s exhausting and maddening, especially once you take over finances and they are back and forth with hospital and rehab. Knowing the system and the language is so important to get the help you need. My neighborhood has a Facebook group for caregivers where people might swap references, tips, etc. If there’s anything like that in your parents’ neighborhood, it might help you find paid helpers and eventually an elder living situation.

   2. I’m sorry – this is hard stuff. It sounds like you don’t have siblings. Are there other relatives or support systems (church, clubs, neighbors) that can help your mom? What level of caregiving is she doing now? While visiting frequently might not be needed, can you block a couple weekends this fall to go and help when you think the family events will be minimized? Think about what could be automated or done from afar like helping with household deliveries. A caregiving support group for your mom or a senior day program for your dad might be available in their area.

   3. Not sure whether you still are checking replies, but maybe if you can afford it, or they can, help set up a home healthcare aide to come in as often as makes sense to help take some burden off of your mom. I’m also sure just knowing you are available if absolutely necessary helps her as well.

      1. Thank you! I appreciate the advice. I have an older sibling but they have their own issues and are estranged from my parents, so it’s just me. I am going to look into all of the suggestions above. Thanks for your support!

      2. This. The cost varies, and they can help with bathing, etc. there are also Adult Day Care organizations that can give her respite. So important as it can affect the health of the caregiver too.

   4. Calling and being supportive is wonderful. To be frank, a lot of what you can do depends on what your mom will allow and/or let you take over. Can you help your mom pay bills? Get a home health aide to come and help? Look at whether it makes sense for them to move? Go to doctor’s appointments?

      My in-laws were very resistant to us even knowing what was going on and didn’t really allow anyone to have any accurate information or participate until the very end of MIL’s life. It was what they wanted and they had enough mental capacity to do it that way.

   5. You could start doing some research on assisted living/skilled nursing facilities in their area, so you’ll have information at hand if/when your mom can’t handle it anymore.

   6. Yes, now is the time to help them set up services in the home. Do they already have someone coming to mow the lawn/shovel in winter? Is someone coming regularly to clean the house? Those are basics.

      Next it is nice to teach them how to use home delivery for things like shopping and ordering medical supplies. Am@zon can truly be a life saver when you are deep in caregiving. If they have trouble with this, you should have their credit card and do the occasional ordering for them. You can even find out which local restaurants deliver (much cheaper than using Door Dash etc), and order take out for delivery for them once a week. Make sure you know their basic finances, and help them find an accountant to help with taxes, and ideally be a future resource.

      And it is a perfect time to look into what services they might be eligible for from their local community/town/state Senior Services or Department of Aging. Unless they are very low income there may not be a huge amount, but if they may be eligible for Meals on Wheels or local transportation assistance for a small donation or free. In my community, they also send a caregiver assistant to come to the home for a few hours a month that can help with anything – light cleaning, meal prep, errands, laundry. But if they can afford it, they should start setting up regular companion/caregivers to help. Often once visit (typically they like 4 hours as a minimum) once a week is a good start. They can strip change the sheets, do laundry, light cleaning, errands, or simply be there to sit with your father and talk/read/walk/watch TV while your Mom gets out and has a break. The best caregivers are trusted people hired privately and you learn about them via word of mouth. But that can be hard to find. I would consider looking for an Elder Care Consultant / Case Manager that works in your parents area, and hire them for advice finding caregivers, and planning next step. They can be great resources.

      And if you know your parents’ friends well, sometimes reaching out carefully to one friend you trust to ask them if they could give your Mom some respite sometime, you would be grateful.

      My elderly neighbors (no children) are in a similar situation, and then the wife became severely stressed, triggering depression and a hospitalization, and then serious health problems. 2 disabled elderly people in their 70s, no local help. Sadly, their siblings are not heeding my calls that they must step in. Anyway – Things can really deteriorate overnight. So make sure your Mom is keep up with her own primary care appointments, and ask how her mood is doing. And ask if your Dad’s doctors ordered Home Health Care with nursing visits, PT and OT (to help make the house safe and bring in needed medical equipment). Most people like your Dad qualify for these insurance covered services after a hospitalization. And together you need to think about the long term plan for your parents. I hope their home is wheelchair accessible if they want to age in place.

      I also found a very good Elder Care lawyer was helpful for big picture questions, and for giving me great referrals. That 1.5 hour session was worth every penny.

5. Replying late to the plantar fasciitis poster… you got great advice. I just went through this myself. Everyone is a bit different so you have to see what works for you. I needed cushion and a slight wedge to relieve pressure, so crocs didn’t work. I recommend exploring the following: 1. Vionic loafers- not super stylish but workable and good cushion. 2. Slight wedge heel shoes. My cushiony fly London peep toe sandals surprisingly worked really well for this (for work) and luckily it was summer. Naot sandals too for non work- the extra back strap works better for me also. Dansko clogs made it worse for me but their cushioned sandal was a dream. 3. Don’t walk barefoot on your floors. These ugly but sooooo comfy slippers, orthofeet Lorin, made a HUGE difference one weekend when I didn’t have to be anywhere else in real shoes! $$$ but worth it. Ortho feet has a generous return policy too. 4. The American podiatric association does endorse certain brands of shoes like Dansko,naot, vionic, birks. You can also sort on nordstroms site by APA endorsed. That’s how I found work shoes. Good luck- it was a lot of trial and error but worth it! And I held off on inclines and running for a few weeks. It can be chronic so nip it in the bud as fast as you can and don’t skimp on your feet!! I never got orthotics but that is also excellent advice. It will help make your shoes more usable.

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